[Biosphere Collapse] 420 days of blazin' it

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Biosphere Collapse] 420 days of blazin' it

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(Thread IKs: Stereotype)

kaxman: Jan 15, 2003

mediaphage posted:

not bothering with that poo poo in this thread of kerbal space experts

You could make a thread I'd enjoy learning some stuff

# ? Oct 4, 2021 17:50

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# ? May 24, 2024 21:25

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

sitchensis posted:

I remember my crack-ping moment was when I visited an aquarium (ostensibly run by a non-profit) that had an exhibit about micro plastics in the oceans.

One of the dioramas was a washing machine and dryer with a basket of clothing next to it. The little information panel beneath it recited the fact that a single piece of synthetic material releases millions of plastic microfibres after being washed, which then drain out once the washer finishes its cycle.

Later, in the gift shop of the aquarium, I marvelled at the polyester orcas, blankets, and branded fleece vests that were for sale.

lol

lmao

i sort of wonder whether we�ll see mandates for washing machines to catch that

not that it matters really

# ? Oct 4, 2021 17:50

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

mediaphage posted:

i sort of wonder whether we�ll see mandates for

let me just stop you right there

# ? Oct 4, 2021 17:57

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

The Protagonist posted:

let me just stop you right there

lol fair

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:09

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

is there even any realistic way to clean up all the microplastics? like put the climate collapse aside for a moment, the only way you'd be able to get everything that needed to be gotten would be plastic-eating bacteria I guess

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:18

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

SKULL.GIF posted:

is there even any realistic way to clean up all the microplastics? like put the climate collapse aside for a moment, the only way you'd be able to get everything that needed to be gotten would be plastic-eating bacteria I guess

nano 👏 bots 👏

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:19

Xeom: Mar 16, 2007

The Protagonist posted:

nano 👏 bots 👏

those are called genetically modified bacteria.

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:20

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

SKULL.GIF posted:

is there even any realistic way to clean up all the microplastics? like put the climate collapse aside for a moment, the only way you'd be able to get everything that needed to be gotten would be plastic-eating bacteria I guess

it's significantly less realistic than carbon capture

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:21

Lordshmee: Nov 23, 2007; I hate you, Milkman Dan

Minrad posted:

the plastic crack ping is the most sinister one of all. i wonder if the scientists who narrowed down lead pollution from cars became this insane when they realized how much lead was literally everywhere.

The one guy who actually cared to follow where the science lead about this did indeed lose his poo poo when for DECADES he tried to convince the world this was A Problem and people just ignored him. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clair_Cameron_Patterson

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:22

Rectal Death Adept: Jun 20, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

SKULL.GIF posted:

is there even any realistic way to clean up all the microplastics? like put the climate collapse aside for a moment, the only way you'd be able to get everything that needed to be gotten would be plastic-eating bacteria I guess

we would have to invent a science fiction magnet that pulls in any material we set the dial to and even then it'd be patented by Disney for 20,000 years and used to pull gold out of nature preserves

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:24

Kunabomber: Oct 1, 2002; Pillbug

ScootsMcSkirt posted:

My sister is thinking of moving to Florida. Anyone have any good articles explaining how terrible of an idea that is? Florida has to be one of the worst states to move to due to climate change, right?

Issues will start cropping up way before her house is covered in water.

https://www.usgs.gov/mission-areas/water-resources/science/saltwater-intrusion?qt-science_center_objects=0#qt-science_center_objects

quote:

One part of the U.S. that has dealt with saltwater intrusion is Florida. In Florida, saltwater has intruded into groundwater supplies through different compounding ways. For example, saltwater has encroached into aquifers because fresh groundwater levels have decreased relative to sea level, allowing higher gradient water to flow toward the freshwater. Also, leaking saltwater inland canals, leakage between aquifers, or even upwelling of saltwater from depth also have impacted freshwater aquifers. Water managers in Florida are using information from local, State, Tribal, and Federal saltwater-intrusion monitoring networks, such as from the USGS, to prevent and reverse saltwater intrusion.

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:28

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Xeom posted:

those are called genetically modified bacteria.

for immediate release,

we regret to inform you our GMB-alpha PLASTC-B-GON� strain may, in a small number of cases, misidentify some substances as unwanted micro-plastics which can include, but is not limited to:

medical plastics
airplane plastics
and/or
living tissues

we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and appreciate your patience as we work to quickly distribute a genome hotfix

sincerely,

your friends at Astrazen-Monstantotech

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:39

Kunabomber: Oct 1, 2002; Pillbug

The Protagonist posted:

for immediate release,

we regret to inform you our GMB-alpha PLASTC-B-GON� strain may, in a small number of cases, misidentify some substances as unwanted micro-plastics which can include, but is not limited to:

medical plastics

airplane plastics
and/or

living tissues

we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and appreciate your patience as we work to quickly distribute a genome hotfix

sincerely,

your friends at Astrazen-Monstantotech

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/86452.Ill_Wind

quote:

It's the largest oil spill in history: a crashed supertanker in San Francisco Bay. Desperate to avert environmental damage�and a PR disaster�the multinational oil company releases an untested "designer microbe" to break up the spill.

An "oil-eating" microbe, designed to consume anything made of petrocarbons: oil, gasoline, synthetic fabrics, and of course plastic.

What the company doesn't realize is that their microbe propagates through the air. But when every car in the Bay Area turns up with an empty gas tank, they begin to suspect something is terribly wrong.

And when, in just a few days, every piece of plastic in the world has dissolved, it's too late..

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:43

Blockade: Oct 22, 2008

Xeom posted:

those are called genetically modified bacteria.

A genetically modified bacteria that eats synthetic fibers, plastic, etc, would be a cool Bond villain plot point

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:44

Serf: May 5, 2011

Blockade posted:

A genetically modified bacteria that eats synthetic fibers, plastic, etc, would be a cool Bond villain plot point

at this point anyone planning to magic away all the plastic in the world would be less a villain and more a hero

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:46

Car Hater: May 7, 2007; wolf. bike.
Wolf. Bike.
Wolf! Bike!
WolfBike!
WolfBike!
ARROOOOOO!

But what does it poop? I feel like it would have to be a carbon gas, and if all the world's plastic suddenly became CO2 we'd be uhhh well not great

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:52

Xeom: Mar 16, 2007

it will be a plastics arms race vs the bacteria. one day u wake up and ur shirts all half eaten.

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:53

Stereotype: Apr 24, 2010; College Slice

there aren�t any realistic solutions to any problems. better things aren�t possible.

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:54

Xeom: Mar 16, 2007

it would breath out co2. dunno what it would poop. probably depends on the type of polymer.

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:54

Xeom: Mar 16, 2007

Stereotype posted:

there aren�t any realistic solutions to any problems. better things aren�t possible.

this is the truth. it�s just a lil fun. we are hosed.

# ? Oct 4, 2021 18:55

Rectal Death Adept: Jun 20, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

if the plastic eating microbes exhale carbon then come up with carbon eating molecules that exhale oxygen

through rigorous research I can see no problems with this approach, at all

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:02

Trabisnikof: Dec 24, 2005

Rectal Death Adept posted:

if the plastic eating microbes exhale carbon then come up with carbon eating molecules that exhale oxygen

through rigorous research I can see no problems with this approach, at all

yeah that idea was pretty well debunked in Soylent Oceanographic Survey Report 2015-2019 Vol. 1

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:08

BaldDwarfOnPCP: Jun 26, 2019; by Pragmatica

Rectal Death Adept posted:

if the plastic eating microbes exhale carbon then come up with carbon eating molecules that exhale oxygen

through rigorous research I can see no problems with this approach, at all

congratulations on being the big brains that reinvented chlorophyll

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:09

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Introducing chlorophyll+, guaranteed to keep chugging away even in the new, lower intensity sunlight afforded to us by the sulfur+ cloudtech

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:16

Deep Dish Fuckfest: Sep 6, 2006; Advanced
Computer Touching; Toilet Rascal

when the sun blows up and incinerates the earth, that should clean up all microplastics, so it's not like it'll be a problem forever

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:20

GEMorris: Aug 28, 2002; Glory To the Order!

Phoebe Bridgers just posted a cover of That Funny Feeling and it is loving perfect.

https://youtu.be/uRl9lNFKMBI

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:32

Thorn Wishes Talon: Oct 18, 2014; by Fluffdaddy

FistEnergy posted:

anything musk touches is guaranteed to be an incredibly expensive boondoggle that sucks up public money and fails to make the world's problems even a tiny bit better

anyone who owns a tesla needs to be shot into the sun in the next spacex rocket

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:48

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Thorn Wishes Talon posted:

anyone who owns a tesla needs to be shot into the sun in the next spacex rocket

you have come a long way young padawan, i'm very proud of you o7

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:49

Tekne: Feb 15, 2012; It's-a me, motherfucker

even if those mostly responsible get to die peacefully, many of them will still have children, grandchildren, and so forth left in hellworld

they will pay for their forebears crimes instead and torturing the rich's progeny will be some consolation since justice isn't real to begin with

ur grandpappy oil bucks forced me to do this *screaming intensifies*

this is not a serious post

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:49

Rectal Death Adept: Jun 20, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

yeah because the descendants of the ultra rich will be the ones with huge estates, penthouses, meat diets and unlimited water rations while the lower tier dome inhabitants have a 100sqft cube, algae diet and water/energy credits.

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:54

JAY ZERO SUM GAME: Oct 18, 2005; Walter.
I know you know how to do this.
Get up.

i haven't read the last 1500 posts

is it bad yet

# ? Oct 4, 2021 19:57

Tekne: Feb 15, 2012; It's-a me, motherfucker

crazed eyes dart wildly over a dead blasted landscape

THERE ARE NO SINS IF THERE ARE NO MEN!

*blows up the megadome and every soul within*

# ? Oct 4, 2021 20:00

Stereotype: Apr 24, 2010; College Slice

JAY ZERO SUM GAME posted:

i haven't read the last 1500 posts

is it bad yet

it's not good

# ? Oct 4, 2021 20:16

Thorn Wishes Talon: Oct 18, 2014; by Fluffdaddy

it's great actually

number go up

# ? Oct 4, 2021 20:21

Hubbert: Mar 25, 2007; At a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

JAY ZERO SUM GAME posted:

i haven't read the last 1500 posts

is it bad yet

not great, not terrible

# ? Oct 4, 2021 20:23

Shima Honnou: Dec 1, 2010; The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit; College Slice

SKULL.GIF posted:

is there even any realistic way to clean up all the microplastics? like put the climate collapse aside for a moment, the only way you'd be able to get everything that needed to be gotten would be plastic-eating bacteria I guess

at current rates eventually all microplastic will be safely sequestered inside of animals humans and especially newborns

# ? Oct 4, 2021 20:31

Tekne: Feb 15, 2012; It's-a me, motherfucker

this ironically will lead to the first true immortals, homo plastikos, the undying inheritors of a dead world

# ? Oct 4, 2021 20:35

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

some old dusty tome posted:

They were commanded not to harm the grass of the earth, or any green thing, or any tree, but only those men who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads. 5 And they were not given authority to kill them, but to torment them for five months. Their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it strikes a man. 6 In those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will desire to die, and death will flee from them.

# ? Oct 4, 2021 20:43

wynott dunn: Aug 9, 2006; What is to be done?

Who or what can challenge, and stand a chance at beating, the corporate juggernauts dominating the world?

Number is tired and taking a break

# ? Oct 4, 2021 20:45

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# ? May 24, 2024 21:25

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

plastics are funny and would be an unprecedented disaster many decades ago but at this point it's just another notch on a long list to lol at. very bad but overall not even the worst thing we're doing

https://i.imgur.com/7eompDi.mp4

# ? Oct 4, 2021 21:03

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Biosphere Collapse] 420 days of blazin' it

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