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Nice piece of fish posted:STOP GIVING LEGAL ADVICE What everyone else in this thread forgot and thus failed the exam for is that the guy's actual question was 'how do I sever myself from this situation from as quickly as possible'. Fake death, leave country.
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Oct 7, 2021 11:09
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Don’t delete the texts. I am a lawyer. This is legal advice.
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Oct 7, 2021 14:40
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As your attorney I advise you to take a hit from the little brown bottle in my shaving kit
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Oct 7, 2021 15:41
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:I've kinda got you caught in a catch 22 now, which is my favorite nj based ska band (pre 2000 only).
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Oct 7, 2021 17:13
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Phil Moscowitz posted:As your attorney I advise you to take a hit from the little brown bottle in my shaving kit This is good advice.
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Oct 7, 2021 18:34
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Oct 7, 2021 21:11
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Phil Moscowitz posted:As your attorney I advise you to take a hit from the little brown bottle in my shaving kit  ?
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Oct 7, 2021 21:47
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Phil Moscowitz posted:As your attorney I advise you to take a hit from the little brown bottle in my shaving kit https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/5d8mkw/south-park-bag-of-vision
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Oct 8, 2021 02:34
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So I live in PA now, near Philly, and it appears that everyone ignores the speed limits on some of these pikes to the tune of 20+mph over. This is awesome, and I love it. I am a bit worried about tickets, but I have yet to see a cop pull anyone over.. I remember seeing in this thread that you can grab a lawyer on retainer to handle that poo poo for you if they do, however. I'm not going to say I pretend to know what retainer means, but I had some questions. 1. Is this a real thing? I can just pre-pay a lawyer some money to get me out of speeding ticket trouble? 2. What is the scope of the help? This is what I think I've got a mostly cartoonish understanding of, the idea that having this imaginary lawyer is a get out of jail free card. I'm assuming I can't just drive however I want and see no consequences- I don't have "gently caress cops" kind of money. 3. Assuming this is a real thing, what kind of lawyer should I look for and how much would I expect to pay? Can someone explain in stupid person terms how the process would work?
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Oct 8, 2021 12:53
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The true traditional meaning of retainer was that you would pay a law firm to remain available for you to use . In other words they would not take other clients that may conflict with you. You would still have to pay them for the work they do Another more modern sense of retainer is just a deposit for work to be done in the future. Lawyers usually want this to make sure they get paid Speeding tickets in Pa are not something you normally “fight”. The state troopers will win. They aren’t that expensive either if you are nice to them and admit that you were speeding . Don’t go above 80 in a 65
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Oct 8, 2021 12:59
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80 in a 65 (Statie 80) is generally considered the line when the state troopers begin to care about how fast you are going And then over 70 in a 55 Watch out for construction zones Some parts of highways out west are 70 mph limits and it’s like the autobahn
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Oct 8, 2021 13:01
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The pa legislature may give local cops radar soon tho and then we are all hosed . Might as well stop driving if that happens
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Oct 8, 2021 13:08
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IIRC, the number one way police can actually improve safety in a community is by enforcing traffic laws universally instead of just selectively enforcing against minorities as a pretext for a search.
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Oct 8, 2021 13:15
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Mr. Nice! posted:IIRC, the number one way police can actually improve safety in a community is by enforcing traffic laws universally instead of just selectively enforcing against minorities as a pretext for a search. (This never happens)
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Oct 8, 2021 13:27
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Hieronymous Alloy posted:(This never happens) Actually funny enough when I lived in Newtown, PA the cops there never cared about speeding. Also in Bucks County apparently the yellow line is a suggestion vs a hard rule. lol Now the one thing they were big on was DUI and sobriety checkpoints. Any issues with that notwithstanding, I always thought that was a far better use of resources then ticky tacky speeding stuff. I’d say even 75 can get the state troopers attention, but that was before the turnpike speed increases. I was so annoyed I drove the speed limit on the trip back and forth and boy was I popular. Of course one dude who honked at me and went around me got pulled over down the road shortly after. lol My general rule is avoid anything crazy and keep pace with traffic, and never be the fastest person fwiw. Marshal Prolapse fucked around with this message at 13:50 on Oct 8, 2021 |
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Oct 8, 2021 13:47
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Thanks for the tips, everybody. I've been keeping pace with traffic and then look down to see um doing 65 in a 45 on the Pottstown pike, so wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get pulled over all the time and hit with multiple hundreds of dollars in fines. Does having a punisher american flag sticker help lower my chances of a ticket?
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Oct 8, 2021 14:25
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MazelTovCocktail posted:Actually funny enough when I lived in Newtown, PA the cops there never cared about speeding. Local police can’t use radar in pa
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Oct 8, 2021 14:28
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euphronius posted:Local police can’t use radar in pa Let’s just say it was pretty obvious that it wasn’t a priority. The entire time living there I don’t think I saw single person ever pulled over for speeding.
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Oct 8, 2021 14:34
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I don’t think you are understanding me. It’s not a priority because they can’t do it (unless they are following you).
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Oct 8, 2021 14:37
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MazelTovCocktail posted:Actually funny enough when I lived in Newtown, PA the cops there never cared about speeding. Also in Bucks County apparently the yellow line is a suggestion vs a hard rule. lol Yeah to be fair I don't actually have much observation on speeding by itself. The three charges I do see systematically enforced against poor people, but not against anyone else, are 1) Simple possession of marijuana ("I smelled weed! so I can search all your poo poo and arrest you and tow the car you've been living in") 2) "unlawful carry of a firearm" ("it's illegal to have a gun in your car if it isn't in the glovebox unless you're a licensed fee paying concealed weapons permit holder. You aren't, so we're confiscating your gun. Getting guns off the streets") 3) "failure to stop on police command," a local city ordinance that is almost certainly unconstitutional and only ever enforced against black or poor people. (not a traffic ordinance, just a pedestrian ordinance). In each case, any given cop might let any one of those charges slide vs. any given potential arrestee, but collectively, they're only ever enforced against the poor/brown.
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Oct 8, 2021 14:38
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Hieronymous Alloy posted:Yeah to be fair I don't actually have much observation on speeding by itself. Many of my criminal clients in Florida started from pretextual stops. One guy got pulled over because 1 of 2 taglights was out on the car. It was dusk at the time. The sun had barely set and it was still light out. I was able to get the pot possession charge dismissed because that's not a valid reason for a traffic stop. The number one reason people get pulled over around here is driving while black. And then every black person smells like weed to cops, so they get searched. They rarely get cited. The people who actually get cited are usually car crashes or extremely excessive speed. I found more on what I was talking about earlier. More traffic enforcement leads to less automobile crashes. More traffic enforcement, though, is also disproportionately targeted at minorities. Some groups have proposed that routine traffic enforcement be removed from police entirely and be handed off to a different unarmed agency as a method to fix both issues. Red light cameras and average speed cameras do not have the same decrease in accidents as active traffic enforcement, though.
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Oct 8, 2021 14:58
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Mr. Nice! posted:Many of my criminal clients in Florida started from pretextual stops. One guy got pulled over because 1 of 2 taglights was out on the car. It was dusk at the time. The sun had barely set and it was still light out. I was able to get the pot possession charge dismissed because that's not a valid reason for a traffic stop. Yeah, I've seen a lot of pretextual stops too, often where cops are clearly lying on their own bodycam ("we pulled you over because your rear lights weren't working" *rear lights of the car are clearly illuminated in the officer's bodycam footage as he is speaking*), but generally those were drug-informant stops where the real tipoff it was pretextual was the five separate cop cars all rolling up on some poor dude within five seconds of each other and immediately going "the reason we stopped you was [obvious lies], can we search your vehicle?"
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Oct 8, 2021 15:18
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As bodycam use becomes more and more prevalent, is it coming up in cases more often? It is a technology that I feel has been sorely needed for a very long time - it's a form of accountability that is the real-world equivalent of CovenantEyes for cops. For instance, when the footage of the Laundrie/Petito traffic stop came out, I spent the first few minutes just ogling the fact that there was a permanent record of the interaction for review, instead of merely an officer's recollections combined with another officer's recollections.Mr. Nice! posted:Bodycam footage doesn't stop cops from lying even when faced with video that contradicts their testimony. See, e.g. the Jaleel Stallings situation. This is exactly my point. But then the I-am-not-a-defense-lawyer part of me says that an officer's dishonesty even in the face of contradictory evidence can cast doubt on their whole testimony in the eyes of a jury (or a judge at an evidence hearing). D34THROW fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Oct 8, 2021 |
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Oct 8, 2021 15:27
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D34THROW posted:As bodycam use becomes more and more prevalent, is it coming up in cases more often? It is a technology that I feel has been sorely needed for a very long time - it's a form of accountability that is the real-world equivalent of CovenantEyes for cops. For instance, when the footage of the Laundrie/Petito traffic stop came out, I spent the first few minutes just ogling the fact that there was a permanent record of the interaction for review, instead of merely an officer's recollections combined with another officer's recollections. Bodycam footage doesn't stop cops from lying even when faced with video that contradicts their testimony. See, e.g. the Jaleel Stallings situation.
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Oct 8, 2021 15:33
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I have been summoned
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Oct 8, 2021 15:44
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blarzgh posted:I have been summoned There's a great joke about you being a crossroads demon here, but I'm too lazy to find it. In other news, the Lawyer in My Life (LML) just won their first very important case. They've had a rough year--apparently it's been "raining bodies"--so I thought something to mark the occasion might be nice. It seems like a nice bottle of scotch occasion, but they don't drink, so I need alternative ideas. How do you show a lawyer you love them?
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Oct 10, 2021 06:06
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Brennanite posted:There's a great joke about you being a crossroads demon here, but I'm too lazy to find it. In other news, the Lawyer in My Life (LML) just won their first very important case. They've had a rough year--apparently it's been "raining bodies"--so I thought something to mark the occasion might be nice. It seems like a nice bottle of scotch occasion, but they don't drink, so I need alternative ideas. How do you show a lawyer you love them? So you and Vinnie are finally getting married?
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Oct 10, 2021 06:15
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Alchenar posted:What everyone else in this thread forgot and thus failed the exam for is that the guy's actual question was 'how do I sever myself from this situation from as quickly as possible'. Ah, the YOSPOS-approved nuclear option: fake your death and move to Belize.
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Oct 10, 2021 09:43
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Brennanite posted:There's a great joke about you being a crossroads demon here, but I'm too lazy to find it. In other news, the Lawyer in My Life (LML) just won their first very important case. They've had a rough year--apparently it's been "raining bodies"--so I thought something to mark the occasion might be nice. It seems like a nice bottle of scotch occasion, but they don't drink, so I need alternative ideas. How do you show a lawyer you love them? If alcohol and weed are’t options, buy them metroid dread.
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Oct 10, 2021 12:15
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Brennanite posted:How do you show a lawyer you love them? Pay your bill
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Oct 10, 2021 13:06
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Mr. Nice! posted:If alcohol and weed are’t options, buy them metroid dread. Honestly this. It's really fun!
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Oct 10, 2021 14:14
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How do you jump higher in the new Metroid?
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Oct 10, 2021 14:53
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MazelTovCocktail posted:How do you jump higher in the new Metroid? 
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Oct 10, 2021 15:50
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blarzgh posted:Pay your bill I think this lawyer is actually loving them pro boner
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Oct 10, 2021 16:02
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Nice piece of fish posted:I think this lawyer is actually loving them pro boner I thought you could only sleep woth clients on sprcial occasions, like when they're really really cute
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Oct 10, 2021 20:18
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Foxfire_ posted:I don't have anything interesting to say about the texts, but I will argue that for being an acoustic soft rock album of ska songs, Streetlight Lullabies is surprisingly good i really like streetlight manifesto, is this related?
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Oct 10, 2021 21:59
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euphronius posted:Local police can’t use radar in pa don't trust this man, he can't figure out how to double jump
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Oct 10, 2021 22:00
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Nice piece of fish posted:I think this lawyer is actually loving them pro boner Wouldn't that make it payment in kind instead?
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Oct 11, 2021 00:21
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Austen Tassletine posted:Wouldn't that make it payment in kind instead? Depends on how you do it, I guess
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Oct 11, 2021 02:44
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:i really like streetlight manifesto, is this related?  . (It's an album of the lead streetlight manifesto guy doing non-ska covers of catch-22/streetlight songs)
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Oct 11, 2021 02:57
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