PYF Funny Pictures: on the paradox of meat

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ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 03:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 09:57

Your Gay Uncle: Feb 16, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Platystemon posted:

Take it out on the town and make it feel special and it will give you no trouble.

There goes the neighborhood

# ? Oct 14, 2021 04:30

Zetsubou-san: Jan 28, 2015; Cruel Bifaunidas demanded that you [stand]🧍 I require only that you [kneel]🧎

well, they should have checked it for UXO first

# ? Oct 14, 2021 04:38

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

ultrafilter posted:

So he wasn't circumsized I'm guessing.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 05:06

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

If the elk was wearing it for two years, couldn't they just wait a couple weeks for the antlers to shed naturally? If they're still rutting, there's no way that guy's going to get a girlfriend now.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 05:10

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

i dont think there's any guarantee you're going to be able to find that elk in a couple weeks, dart him when he's around for the de-tiring

# ? Oct 14, 2021 05:43

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

ultrafilter posted:

Fifty Shades Of Goy

# ? Oct 14, 2021 06:01

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

dr_rat posted:

Fbi types like to go into it to work when ever they can.

Like do you know how much better it is to work in a log cabin then a cubical?

They charge their crystals in there don't they? The FBI turned it into a JO shack!

# ? Oct 14, 2021 06:08

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

PainterofCrap posted:

Fifty Shades Of Goy

I was trying to think of a goy joke but then scrolled down and you already took the best one

# ? Oct 14, 2021 06:09

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Time to log on, what up my gentiles?

ultrafilter posted:

Way to make me be the creep random internet thing!

# ? Oct 14, 2021 06:42

Son of Rodney: Feb 22, 2006; ohmygodohmygodohmygod

# ? Oct 14, 2021 06:48

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Mr. Fall Down Terror posted:

i dont think there's any guarantee you're going to be able to find that elk in a couple weeks, dart him when he's around for the de-tiring

Yeah, I think the issue was this is the first opportunity they had to do *anything* about it, despite having known about this elk for two years. If they let this go by, they might never find him again.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 07:05

Stexils: Jun 5, 2008

thicc horny boy loses spare tire, gets pumped full of "the good stuff"

# ? Oct 14, 2021 08:23

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

https://twitter.com/bithapi/status/1422766572393877509

# ? Oct 14, 2021 08:54

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

WOW typing ted into wikipedia main page brings up cruz, kacynski, bundy, and talks. Lasso is doing a lot of heavy lifting saving it from universal curse

biracial bear for uncut posted:

Sound on for these.

https://i.imgur.com/OaJm8b4.mp4

https://i.imgur.com/jfPbqX9.mp4

https://i.imgur.com/qoEzseS.mp4

I love this guy on the bright side

# ? Oct 14, 2021 09:16

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Scathach posted:

Is no one else worried that the elk had that necklace for two whole years and some dudes knocked his rear end out, assaulted him and broke his antlers, and stole the necklace?

Dude should sue.

They broke his antlers? I hoped they just cut the tire off.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 10:03

Captain Splendid: Jan 7, 2009; Qu'en pense Caffarelli?

Subjunctive posted:

They broke his antlers? I hoped they just cut the tire off.

They're like leaves, or a duck's penis, they fall off and grow back every year

# ? Oct 14, 2021 10:10

Kwyndig: Sep 23, 2006; Heeeeeey

Cutting tires is also extremely dangerous as tires have high tension wire threaded into the tread for stability.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 10:57

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Captain Splendid posted:

They're like leaves, or a duck's penis, they fall off and grow back every year

The uh

the duck
What

# ? Oct 14, 2021 11:33

No. 6: Jun 30, 2002

Kwyndig posted:

Cutting tires is also extremely dangerous as tires have high tension wire threaded into the tread for stability.

Is true some tires have steel cable. I don't think they're under tension and are just a pain in the rear end without a hacksaw or something which can cut metal.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 11:36

Deus Ex Macklemore: Jul 2, 2004; Zelensky's Zealots

This is all dumb as hell. Why go through all of that trouble when they could just shoot it? There are literally millions of them all over. gently caress, I have three in my back yard right now doing nothing but taking up space and breeding ticks. All of this bleeding heart bullshit is getting old. Stop worrying about it and shoot the loving tire already.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 11:45

Some Pinko Commie: Jun 9, 2009; CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!

Has sound

https://i.imgur.com/BbFs2jr.mp4

# ? Oct 14, 2021 12:18

`Nemesis: Dec 30, 2000; railroad graffiti

the tools they had on hand couldn't cut the steel wire in the tire, so they had no choice but to cut the antlers off. Sucks for the rut, but they'll grow back next year.

they had been trying to find this guy for quite a while, so they had to act quick.

as expected, the tire was creating an open pressure sore from where it was sitting on his neck, but it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be and they expect it to heal normally.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 13:51

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Captain Splendid posted:

They're like leaves, or a duck's penis, they fall off and grow back every year

Ah, OK. That�s better then.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 13:51

Leon Sumbitches: Mar 27, 2010; Dr. Leon Adoso Sumbitches (prounounced soom-'beh-cheh) (born January 21, 1935) is heir to the legendary Adoso family oil fortune.

Captain Splendid posted:

They're like leaves, or a duck's penis, they fall off and grow back every year

That can't be right...

# ? Oct 14, 2021 14:59

ThisIsJohnWayne: Feb 23, 2007; Ooo! Look at me! NO DON'T LOOK AT ME!

Strong levitation vibes itt rn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDNgmdGMpuY

# ? Oct 14, 2021 15:15

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

`Nemesis posted:

the tools they had on hand couldn't cut the steel wire in the tire, so they had no choice but to cut the antlers off. Sucks for the rut, but they'll grow back next year.

they had been trying to find this guy for quite a while, so they had to act quick.

as expected, the tire was creating an open pressure sore from where it was sitting on his neck, but it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be and they expect it to heal normally.

They would have had to have been ready on-site with a battery-powered sawzall or sabre saw, and at least three each of blades and fully-charged batteries.

The bead wire is not under tension, but it is indeed a bitch to cut without the proper tools. Just cutting a tire across the carcass is hard. Zipping off the antlers, comparatively, takes no time at all.

# ? Oct 14, 2021 15:16

ChubbyChecker: Mar 25, 2018

Picnic Princess posted:

If the elk was wearing it for two years, couldn't they just wait a couple weeks for the antlers to shed naturally? If they're still rutting, there's no way that guy's going to get a girlfriend now.

someone had already put a ring on him

# ? Oct 14, 2021 15:21

Some Pinko Commie: Jun 9, 2009; CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!

Leon Sumbitches posted:

That can't be right...

https://nypost.com/2017/05/06/dont-be-fooled-ducks-are-sadistic-raping-monsters/

# ? Oct 14, 2021 15:35

Phy: Jun 27, 2008; Fun Shoe

biracial bear for uncut posted:

https://nypost.com/2017/05/06/dont-be-fooled-ducks-are-sadistic-raping-monsters/

We regret to inform you that the duck is a duck

# ? Oct 14, 2021 16:42

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

Phy posted:

We regret to inform you that the duck is a duck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kToum8497js

# ? Oct 14, 2021 16:49

Trabant: Nov 26, 2011; All systems nominal.

Alright, for all your tire elk needs:

quote:

The first question is, of course, why not just Sawzall that tire off? I bet a shocking number of our readers have cut through a tire with a reciprocating saw or a grinder�it can absolutely be done, so why not do that in this case?

Officer Clay had a pretty good reason why that was not done: how well do you think you could do if you had to Sawzall a tire off a 600 pound animal�s neck with only inches to spare, without cutting the animal? It�s not so easy.

It�s not like they didn�t try, either�they absolutely did try, as you can see in the picture above, but look how tight that tire is. Officer Clay said during rut the bulls get a little swollen with blood and horniness or whatever and are even bigger, so there was even less room. There was just no safe way to use that saw so close to the elk�s neck with enough margin of safety.

Plus, that elk isn�t dead, it�s tranquilized, and still breathing and moving a bit. As Officer Clay said, it was a �fluid and dynamic situation.�

So, the antlers had to go. The good news is that at this point in the year, the antlers are entirely dead tissue; earlier in the season, when the antlers are first growing, they�re vascular and would bleed and cause pain, but not at this point. This is like cutting toenails, not toes.

Sure, the lack of antlers means that our tire boy here isn�t going to be able to engage in any of the dominance displays with other males that would get him access to those sexy cows, but, according to Officer Clay, �this elk was still a bit young and not likely to miss much.�

It was the Wildlife Department�s opinion that this elk was not that likely to get laid, anyway. Harsh.