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Why do small religious villages not ever immediately get extremely suspicious when a new priest comes along and all sorts of unnatural miracles start happening? Like yes, maybe it is the second coming, but at least splash the guy with some holy water, check his resume, at least do something to verify it's not the antichrist before worshipping him. It's not like there aren't any warnings in the bible about this kind of thing. Read the drat manual.
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Oct 15, 2021 03:08
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Why do small religious villages not ever immediately get extremely suspicious when a new priest comes along and all sorts of unnatural miracles start happening? Like yes, maybe it is the second coming, but at least splash the guy with some holy water, check his resume, at least do something to verify it's not the antichrist before worshipping him. It's not like there aren't any warnings in the bible about this kind of thing. Read the drat manual. Bud, I've seen what's happening in our world and it's convinced me that if the devil himself showed up, horns and red skin and everything, and just said what people wanted to hear, then said 'oh yeah and praise jesus', the catholic nuts would be following him so closely they could smell his farts.
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Oct 15, 2021 03:12
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I'd probably go along with it but I'd at least want to know what the catch was. I didn't specify what Tv show/movie I'm talking about and I don't want to spoil it, but like if all I need to do is drink some vampire blood to cure all my ailments and live unnaturally long, sign me up, as long as there is no fine print about eternal damnation or anything. that said, you should still probably try to kill the vampire priest just to be safe before you accept the deal, because you can't trust a vampire. Hedge your bets. yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 04:08 on Oct 15, 2021 |
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Oct 15, 2021 04:04
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Morpheus posted:Bud, I've seen what's happening in our world and it's convinced me that if the devil himself showed up, horns and red skin and everything, and just said what people wanted to hear, then said 'oh yeah and praise jesus', the catholic nuts would be following him so closely they could smell his farts. It turns out Childhood's End was a mite optimistic, eh?
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Oct 15, 2021 04:16
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Usually the small religious village is too busy preparing the bees and the wicker man for the new priest
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Oct 15, 2021 04:44
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I guess there is a counterpoint to this show ala wickerman or population whatever the movie is with limp bizkit in it is called or 2001 maniacs. If you are an official doing your job and the remote village is acting weird, just leave at the first sign things might be haunted. Decline the invitation to the jubilee. Even if you have to be rude, just leave, refuse to be haunted by some ghosts.
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Oct 15, 2021 04:48
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Why do small religious villages not ever immediately get extremely suspicious when a new priest comes along and all sorts of unnatural miracles start happening? Like yes, maybe it is the second coming, but at least splash the guy with some holy water, check his resume, at least do something to verify it's not the antichrist before worshipping him. It's not like there aren't any warnings in the bible about this kind of thing. Read the drat manual. My IIMM with Midnight Mass is the fanatical church lady who's so obviously cartoonishly evil that the rest of the characters should have probably tied her to a raft and floated her out to see before the show even begins. I find the supernatural portion of the show easier to believe that this lady not having been catapulted into the ocean by an angry mob.
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Oct 15, 2021 04:53
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IshmaelZarkov posted:My IIMM with Midnight Mass is the fanatical church lady who's so obviously cartoonishly evil that the rest of the characters should have probably tied her to a raft and floated her out to see before the show even begins. There was a point where I swore the cross she was wearing was upside down but was too lazy to rewind to check if it really was. She was pretty clearly evil from the start. e: i'm on the second to last episode...if the baby storyline was that the vampire blood killed hte baby and it wasn't the antichrist i'm going to be really annoyed, i called it from the first episode that the demon baby was causing all this weird poo poo and the priest was its caretaker. It is highly unusual in a horror movie/show with a pregnancy that is going weird for the baby not to be the key plot point. I liked the vampire twist but this baby better be the antichrist too e2: I do appreciate the characters who, when the evil vampire lady said "shoot me and i'll be back in 5 minutes" immediately shot her and recognized they had a 5 minute head start. You rarely see that in horror movies/shows. Don't let the vampire finish their monologue, once the rules are clear just shoot them yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 05:28 on Oct 15, 2021 |
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Oct 15, 2021 04:55
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I don't get why after everybody gets turned to vampires they just don't attack each other outside of that one fight in the church. I don't care how milquetoast Flanders the community was, surely somebody would have slapped Bev down for burning all their stuff.
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Oct 15, 2021 05:45
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I kind of love how the vampire imp thing reacts to being shot. It's just like "can u not, i'm working here".
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Oct 15, 2021 05:58
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I do appreciate the characters who, when the evil vampire lady said "shoot me and i'll be back in 5 minutes" immediately shot her and recognized they had a 5 minute head start. You rarely see that in horror movies/shows. Don't let the vampire finish their monologue, once the rules are clear just shoot them More Midnight Mass spoilers: It should have been 5 minutes from death. She was shot in the stomach, she should have died very slowly from that. Mostly because gently caress her. They should have had well more than 5 minutes.
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Oct 15, 2021 11:49
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More Midnight Mass: If you can recover from death in like five minutes with really small doses of vampire blood, the the vampire angel thing should have regenerated its wings much faster. Also, how did Riley not manage to burn the boat even a little when he flamed out? The vampire blood reacted really strongly in the test tube. AND ALSO! It was stated that the blood transforms you back to your 'best' age or whatever, but only the priest actually changed age at all.
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Oct 15, 2021 12:08
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I mean several other major characters CLEARLY appeared much younger over the course of the show, to the extent that the makeup they started with was distracting as gently caress.
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Oct 15, 2021 14:49
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Oh, I'm just dumb then, nvm.
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Oct 15, 2021 15:21
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The entirety of Midnight Mass: 100% rational irritation
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Oct 15, 2021 15:55
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There's a scene in the penultimate episode of Only Murders in the Building where the main characters are evicted from their homes because 8 tenants (out of at least 40, possibly 200) voted that they were annoyed with them. I'm canadian, so I'm not familiar with tenant rights in the U.S., but that seems really far-fetched. To be fair, there were more than 8 actually voted to evict them, but the board lady said they only needed 8.
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Oct 15, 2021 16:16
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CordlessPen posted:There's a scene in the penultimate episode of Only Murders in the Building where the main characters are evicted from their homes because 8 tenants (out of at least 40, possibly 200) voted that they were annoyed with them. I'm canadian, so I'm not familiar with tenant rights in the U.S., but that seems really far-fetched. A general rule when watching American media portray some outrageous poo poo that destroys people's lives for no real reason is to assume that it's realistic.
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Oct 15, 2021 16:24
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CordlessPen posted:There's a scene in the penultimate episode of Only Murders in the Building where the main characters are evicted from their homes because 8 tenants (out of at least 40, possibly 200) voted that they were annoyed with them. I'm canadian, so I'm not familiar with tenant rights in the U.S., but that seems really far-fetched.
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Oct 15, 2021 16:29
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IshmaelZarkov posted:My IIMM with Midnight Mass is the fanatical church lady who's so obviously cartoonishly evil that the rest of the characters should have probably tied her to a raft and floated her out to see before the show even begins. If the last five years have taught me anything, that part's absolutely realistic. Kind of like how if I ever watch another zombie movie I'm going to call bullshit on it if it doesn't have hordes of uninfected people walking straight into the zombies while screaming "I refuse to live in fear"
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Oct 15, 2021 17:58
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Just a bunch of chuds slathering themselves in barbecue sauce screaming "My body, my choice!" as the zombies approach.
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Oct 15, 2021 18:28
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Mortal Kombat 2021 What(camera cut) the(shakey cam)gently caress(cut to a completely different scene)is(witty one liner)going(completely unearned fatality)on(horribly greenscreened shot of boring main actor dribbling)in this loving(kabals voice)horribly edited poo poo rear end movie? Also gently caress you movie you don’t get to use the theme song like you loving earned it.
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Oct 16, 2021 01:04
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I saw the Kano-only cut and it was brilliant. Everyone told me not to bother with the rest of the movie and everything I've heard about it since only proves they were right. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHVaZf3KsXU&t=9s
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Oct 16, 2021 03:12
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Mortal Kombat was basically ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL made into a movie. Steve Harvey's tiny wee mechanical arms were god damned hilarious though.
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Oct 16, 2021 03:48
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Is got an okay goro and also goro bites it so hopefully if there's a sequel they'll give us his unremarkable replacements like kintaro and motaro etc
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Oct 16, 2021 03:49
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Megillah Gorilla posted:I saw the Kano-only cut and it was brilliant. "by the way, yer beer's poo poo, and you're almost out of it" is pure gold
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Oct 16, 2021 03:57
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I thought of one driving home today. In dogma, jay is driving Linda Fiorentino’s car and blows up the transmission because he doesn’t shift out of first because he didn’t know it was a manual. I think his quote was “what the gently caress is first gear!?” But there’s no way he could have gotten the car going without knowing how a clutch works, everyone knows the hardest part of getting a manual transmission car moving is from a dead stop.
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Oct 16, 2021 04:17
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Megillah Gorilla posted:I saw the Kano-only cut and it was brilliant. Josh Lawson is a national treasure and we didn't even have to nick him from New Zealand.
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Oct 16, 2021 08:43
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The new Mortal Kombat was so frustrating. They had so much raw talent in terms of martial arts in there, some very accomplished actors, and enough of a budget to do some fun things in terms of special effects. But it just completely fell apart due to the shitass script and bad editing.
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Oct 16, 2021 12:28
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Perestroika posted:The new Mortal Kombat was so frustrating. They had so much raw talent in terms of martial arts in there, some very accomplished actors, and enough of a budget to do some fun things in terms of special effects. But it just completely fell apart due to the shitass script and bad editing. This is so many blockbuster movies nowadays, especially adaptations. Editing seems almost a lost art, so many movies bleed out on the cutting room floor.
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Oct 16, 2021 12:48
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SidneyIsTheKiller posted:But Christopher Lloyd was in Star Trek! Phy posted:Kind of like how if I ever watch another zombie movie I'm going to call bullshit on it if it doesn't have hordes of uninfected people walking straight into the zombies while screaming "I refuse to live in fear"
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Oct 16, 2021 13:15
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The three classic Romero zombie films still work just fine.
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Oct 16, 2021 13:20
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I watched Halloween Kills last night and I swear it felt like there were 2 movies mashed into one as the plot lines didn't really converge until the very end. Also Judy Greer died which is a shame as I liked her.
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Oct 16, 2021 14:11
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Perestroika posted:The new Mortal Kombat was so frustrating. They had so much raw talent in terms of martial arts in there, some very accomplished actors, and enough of a budget to do some fun things in terms of special effects. But it just completely fell apart due to the shitass script and bad editing. The most bizarre part of the script was the decision to make a Mortal Kombat movie about the big tournament to decide the fate of Earth Realm and then never actually get to the tournament.
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Oct 16, 2021 14:19
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Mortal Kombat was okay, but it felt like it wasted a lot of potential. A bunch of the fatalities were just "oops you're dead!" Kano owned though. Nearly everything he did was hilarious
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Oct 16, 2021 14:40
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I've only watched clips from the movie, and I get that they'd want to include well-known lines from the game. However, when Kung Lao kills Nitara, I feel someone other than Kung Lao should've said "Flawless Victory". It'd still be cheesy, but less weirdly own-horn-tootingly so.
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Oct 16, 2021 16:34
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Curse of Aurore: It's a staple of found footage horror trying to hide the low budget effects, but can the camerman at least sometimes not point the camera directly at the floor the instant they see anything spooky? In this one I couldn't even see what they were scared of half the time. also they definitely deserved what they got, going around stealing poo poo from everyone in town, including some haunted rosary or whatever and using it to do a seance in the spooky basement after finding out the ghost girl is stalking them. yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 19:29 on Oct 16, 2021 |
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Oct 16, 2021 19:04
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Elissimpark posted:I've only watched clips from the movie, and I get that they'd want to include well-known lines from the game. However, when Kung Lao kills Nitara, I feel someone other than Kung Lao should've said "Flawless Victory". Also, when shang tsung is killing your bro, and you are LITERALLY the only person who has a long range attack, maybe try throwing a fireball instead of standing there screaming NNNNNOOOOOOO while he dies for a few minutes? Please note, at that point there is literally nothing stopping him from just walking over and kicking shang tsung in the head, other than drama points.
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Oct 16, 2021 20:11
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I guess there is a counterpoint to this show ala wickerman or population whatever the movie is with limp bizkit in it is called or 2001 maniacs. If you are an official doing your job and the remote village is acting weird, just leave at the first sign things might be haunted. Decline the invitation to the jubilee. Even if you have to be rude, just leave, refuse to be haunted by some ghosts. https://mobile.twitter.com/dasharez0ne/status/979810839749210112?lang=en
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Oct 16, 2021 20:59
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:Also, when shang tsung is killing your bro, and you are LITERALLY the only person who has a long range attack, maybe try throwing a fireball instead of standing there screaming NNNNNOOOOOOO while he dies for a few minutes? The sad thing is I don't even remember Shang Tsung in the new one, which is a travesty considering how loving awesome Cary Tagawa was in the first one. At least the second mortal kombat was legendarily awful, I think being forgettable is way worse.
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Oct 16, 2021 20:59
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AFewBricksShy posted:The sad thing is I don't even remember Shang Tsung in the new one, which is a travesty considering how loving awesome Cary Tagawa was in the first one. At least the second mortal kombat was legendarily awful, I think being forgettable is way worse. He literally doesn’t do a single thing in the movie,not one punch thrown,no sorcery,no shapeshifting (did he do that in 95?) it’s a toss up between shang and the bad guy from ghost rider as most ineffectual lame-o.
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Oct 16, 2021 22:38
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