buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

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Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

that person has never used a bitcoin

# ? Oct 19, 2021 18:49

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 21:14

RPATDO_LAMD: Mar 22, 2013; 🐘🪠🍆

satoshi nakamoto invented checksums

# ? Oct 19, 2021 18:55

Blotto_Otter: Aug 16, 2013

EVIL Gibson posted:

because it means that an punk accountant can't just change a credit from 10k to 100k because it will suddenly make the Blockchain fail and be tracked quickly back to the punk.

code:

total debits:        10,000
total credits:     (100,000)

net ledger balance: (90,000)

hmm how do we know if this ledger has been tampered with. if only there were a way to detect someone casually changing a number in a ledger, perhaps by requiring that each posting has an equal and offsetting transaction corresponding the source or destination of the funds, thereby keeping the ledger in balance, arithmetically speaking. perhaps we could call them "twin entries" or "dual entries" or somesuch. i can't believe nobody has ever considered this problem before, good thing that a humble forumsposter like me has finally arrived to show the banks how to loving add up a list of numbers correctly

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:01

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Blotto_Otter posted:

code:
total debits:        10,000
total credits:     (100,000)

net ledger balance: (90,000)
hmm how do we know if this ledger has been tampered with. if only there were a way to detect someone casually changing a number in a ledger, perhaps by requiring that each posting has an equal and offsetting transaction corresponding the source or destination of the funds, thereby keeping the ledger in balance, arithmetically speaking. perhaps we could call them "twin entries" or "dual entries" or somesuch. i can't believe nobody has ever considered this problem before, good thing that a humble forumsposter like me has finally arrived to show the banks how to loving add up a list of numbers correctly

sounds outdated to me, what if you included a third entry that has bitcoin in it? sounds so much more secure and resilient

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:06

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

double book accounting is kinda inside baseball and it wouldn't surprise me if most people didn't know about it but it's real dumb to assume that an accountant at some company can just edit their account details and the bank goes along with it

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:27

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

qirex posted:

double book accounting is kinda inside baseball and it wouldn't surprise me if most people didn't know about it but it's real dumb to assume that an accountant at some company can just edit their account details and the bank goes along with it

or that the bank can't possibly have audit logs of some kind and would need the blockchain for that

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:32

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

all accounting is done in pencil on a physical sheet of paper where you can just erase real numbers and write in pretend numbers and nobody can tell the difference, fact

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:33

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

I wonder how these blockchain people would feel about the fact that reconciliation exists in accounting which means that your immutable blockchain records are frequently wrong and need to be updated

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:44

Blotto_Otter: Aug 16, 2013

qirex posted:

double book accounting is kinda inside baseball and it wouldn't surprise me if most people didn't know about it but it's real dumb to assume that an accountant at some company can just edit their account details and the bank goes along with it

yeah, I realize that Luca Pacioli is not a houshold name and double-entry bookkeeping is not obviously an intuitive concept at first glance, but I'm always amazed at the specific combination of naivete and arrogance in these blockchain guys who think that humans somehow muddled through centuries of commerce with no tools whatsoever to help us track and validate financial data.

whether it's a column of numbers written in pencil or a bunch of rows in a database, that kind of data is just an abstract representation of objects and activities that exist in the real world, and the biggest challenge of maintaining such a store of data is validating that data against the real world. blockchains do absolutely nothing to solve that problem, but that problem is boring and tedious and resistant to automation, so instead these dorks focus on problems that aren't real.

edit:

qirex posted:

I wonder how these blockchain people would feel about the fact that reconciliation exists in accounting which means that your immutable blockchain records are frequently wrong and need to be updated

exactly the kind of thing I was getting at - making sure nobody's deleted or overwritten a record in your ledger is the easy part, making sure your ledger actually has any goddamn thing to do with the real world that it represents is the hard/boring/tedious/labor-intensive part. blockchains do the easy part in a weird, limiting, and inefficient way, while doing absolutely nothing to help you with the hard part.

Blotto_Otter fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Oct 19, 2021

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:45

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

obviously they at least know of double entry accounting since they think adding one more for triple entry accounting is an amazing disruptive thing

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:53

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

I am helping someone design a recon dashboard rn so this is extra funny to me

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:55

KnifeWrench: May 25, 2007; Practical and safe.; Bleak Gremlin

qirex posted:

I wonder how these blockchain people would feel about the fact that reconciliation exists in accounting which means that your immutable blockchain records are frequently wrong and need to be updated

if you think for one second they wouldn't immediately claim that a using blockchain for everything would prevent any such errors from existing in the first place, I don't know what to tell you

# ? Oct 19, 2021 20:59

Chalks: Sep 30, 2009

every time i look out my window the streets are filled with punk accountants running amuck. please blockchain, save me from crime.

# ? Oct 19, 2021 21:00

distortion park: Apr 25, 2011

qirex posted:

I wonder how these blockchain people would feel about the fact that reconciliation exists in accounting which means that your immutable blockchain records are frequently wrong and need to be updated

it's on the blockchain so it can't be wrong in the first place - it's just code

# ? Oct 19, 2021 21:01

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

see you have a qr code on everything and you scan it in to the blockchain therefore it can not be falsified or messed with in any way, completely secure

# ? Oct 19, 2021 21:06

Blotto_Otter: Aug 16, 2013

Boxturret posted:

obviously they at least know of double entry accounting since they think adding one more for triple entry accounting is an amazing disruptive thing

debits to the left, credits to the right, meaningless randomly-generated nonces to the... more right, just dangle it off to the side of the spreadsheet over there

# ? Oct 19, 2021 21:09

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

just reminded me of this video i was exposed to during an accounting course...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j71Kmxv7smk

# ? Oct 19, 2021 21:14

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

some backstory on that post. i was complaining that local concert group IMP concerts has started using an app called bindle to verify COVID vaccinations. (mandating vaccinations is good, so that's obviously not the complaint!) the email they sent around mentioned that it's built on "blockchain technologies" which, of course, set off big red flags. so i looked into it some and it seems all they're doing is using it as a slow, lovely database to store encrypted copies of uploaded data. fine, assuming they're being honest about the encryption, that's not that big a deal.

that, of course, brought up the question of if they can't access it (so they say, since it's encrypted), why does it need to be stored outside a user's device, and wait, how are they verifying anything at all?

oh, of course! they're not! just upload a photo of a faked CDC card and you're verified as vaccinated! you have to attest that you're totally not lying, but of course, they can't access your data, so even if an outbreak occurs at the venue, there's no way they can trace it to you!

also the reviews on both the apple app store and the google play store are really bad and say it doesn't actually work

(they do seem to still let you show a card or a photo of a card, so that's fine, but geez)

# ? Oct 19, 2021 21:51

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

immutable photo of themselves

# ? Oct 19, 2021 21:59

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Bindle should collaborate with Beeple on a new Clangers-branded crypto dongle.

# ? Oct 19, 2021 22:12

KnifeWrench: May 25, 2007; Practical and safe.; Bleak Gremlin

Paladinus posted:

Bindle should collaborate with Beeple on a new Clangers-branded crypto dongle.

they can load it with dink doink

# ? Oct 19, 2021 22:15

Jose Valasquez: Apr 8, 2005

"Advice" in the Long Term Investment thread

Xom posted:

The cryptocurrency exchange Gemini is currently paying 8% APY on their USD-backed stablecoin, GUSD. (A stablecoin is a cryptocurrency that's pegged to a real-world currency.) The rate should last about as long as the current bull market in crypto. My close friends think Gemini has zero chance of defaulting. (And they're paranoid enough to be worried about other exchanges.)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 19, 2021 22:32

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

I choose to believe their account was hacked by Gemini's head of marketing.

# ? Oct 19, 2021 22:41

Blotto_Otter: Aug 16, 2013

Jose Valasquez posted:

"Advice" in the Long Term Investment thread

boy i tell you what, if you want the SEC to come around and decide if your stablecoin is a "security" subject to pesky "securities" "laws" and "regulations", offering an 8% return seems like a great way to get them to hurry their asses up and focus on your stablecoin, specifically

# ? Oct 19, 2021 22:42

KnifeWrench: May 25, 2007; Practical and safe.; Bleak Gremlin

when I'm looking for advice about "long term investing," I love to hear "should last about as long as the current bull market"

# ? Oct 19, 2021 22:56

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

don't worry, my friend who's usually really skeptical of bitcoin exchanges uses it so it has to be fine!

# ? Oct 19, 2021 23:25

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

My friend, who's never drunk a drop of piss, has absolutely zero reservations about eating poo poo by the spoonful. If that doesn't convince you, nothing will.

# ? Oct 19, 2021 23:55

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

buttcoin:

Blotto_Otter posted:

focus on problems that aren't real.

# ? Oct 20, 2021 00:29

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

it's part and parcel of techbros' need for a tech "solution" to everything, also that solution should be sleek and sexy and not at all bogged down in minutiae like "what do you fix" and "what the gently caress does this have to do with anything you stupid loving idiot"

# ? Oct 20, 2021 00:37

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/HindenburgRes/status/1450562260993298433

# ? Oct 20, 2021 00:56

vortmax: Sep 24, 2008; In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/HindenburgRes/status/1450562260993298433

this is good for bitcoin and tether

# ? Oct 20, 2021 02:49

mystes: May 31, 2006

Hindenburgcoin

# ? Oct 20, 2021 02:51

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

mystes posted:

Hindenburgcoin

a bold new direction for the helium network

# ? Oct 20, 2021 02:59

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Shumagorath posted:

buttcoin:

losing all of your money is a real problem

# ? Oct 20, 2021 04:20

Chalks: Sep 30, 2009

vortmax posted:

this is good for bitcoin and tether

a week later it is revealed that 90% of tether is backed by a barrel of nails with some dollar bills layered on top and in response, literally nothing changes and everyone keeps trading tether as if they're worth $1

at this point tether is 100% backed by bitcoiner delusion and nobody's going to do an audit of that

# ? Oct 20, 2021 08:52