Mx. posted:

AITA for accommodating only one of my daughters?

quote:

I'm a little hurt by Susan's silence.

Beachcomber posted:

I'm not saying she isn't a bad mom, but parenting the younger one is probably incredibly hard, so I sympathize with her.

Invisible Clergy posted:

Fire OP into the sun.

Mx. posted:

AITA for accommodating only one of my daughters?

teen witch posted:

I’ll give you until I’m in my office to read my previous post

Baronjutter posted:

It feels like we as a society should have a lot more resources for parents in situations like that to help avoid those sort of situations.

quote:

Hello, I recently got a blanket back from an ex I used to live with. It was completely platonic while she gave it back to me. I told the person I'm currently dating about it later and she was livid and I understood why. I apologized. My ex is blocked on everything. Text, Snapchat, email. Although on G-Mail you can still see blocked emails in the spam folder. She asked when I saw her if we could start using the phone and I said no. I didn't mention at the time I saw her that I'm seeing anyone as we just talked about her kids and work a bit. She emailed today and asked if I'd be interested to do lunch with her in the coming weeks. I'm not, and cannot unless I want my current relationship to be gone. I'm not sure how to handle this. Obviously I will need to tell the person I'm seeing now she messaged again. She wants me to change my email completely, which isn't entirely very easy since I have so much connected to it.

Do I respond to my ex, and tell her I'm seeing someone? Or simply not respond. I'd much rather do the latter, but the person I'm dating insists I tell her again (I've already had conversations about this before). My ex is a very volatile area in my current dating relationship. I'm embarrassed and regret getting the blanket back since it has opened a can of worms I never intended. The blanket in fact will be donated to charity as me and my current person agreed on that, to expel any negative karma around it.

TL;DR Ex contacted and wants to do lunch, but I'm approaching into a new LTR. Do I respond?

quote:

Redditor: Why did your current gf freak out at you having a blanket returned? That's not normal.


OP: Well I had coordinated the pickup with my ex through email. I didn't tell my new partner about it until she sensed I was different or something. So I told her yeah I got my blanket back and we just quickly got caught up. NOTHING HAPPENED. We hadn't seen or talked in several months. I kept it from her since I didn't want to talk about my ex anymore but she saw it as being secretive. I understand that. But really I just liked my blanket a lot.


Different Redditor:If she can't handle the fact that someone you don't want to contact you continues to contact you and you DON'T respond, then that's your gf's insecurity. You're in the clear as long as you don't respond. Like what are you supposed to do? Tell your current gf every single time your ex emails you JUST so current gf can get angry for no reason? No.

OP: Yeah I completely agree with your sentiment. She's suggested moving and changing my email completely. Which doesn't necessarily need to happen. My ex is not crazy by any means. I think a lot is some insecurities around the fact that I used to live with my ex for a year prior to meeting her. She's more inexperienced with relationships, having had fewer. I wasn't planning on responding and just letting it go. Like you said, and I've told my new partner- I can't simply disappear. If she really wants to find me, she'll contact me somehow. I mean I have LinkedIn (though we are no longer connected). Plus I really think she'll get the picture. She and I weren't talking and she wasn't trying for months prior to this. It only started again after I asked for my blanket returned.

MarcusSA posted:

The word a bit is doing a lot of heavy lifting in this story here.

I can only imagine how his clothes look if he hasn’t upsized them…

Invisible Clergy posted:

Fire OP into the sun.

quote:

Back in the early 2000s, I had a short-lived webcomic, as was the custom at the time. I used recolored 8-bit sprites from [large video game company], along with original characters drawn in the same style, as was also the custom at the time. My website shut down almost fifteen years ago, but someone with copies of my strip is removing dialogue from individual panels and minting them as NFTs for sale.

I live in California. [Large video game company] is in Japan. The NFT creator could be anywhere.

Is there any basis for me to claim copyright or threaten the NFT creator with a copyright claim from [large video game company]? I recognize no effective enforcement mechanism exists and all I can do is send nasty emails, but I would like my nasty emails to be legally accurate.

Solenna posted:

Do you think Reddit would overload from white hot rage if someone posted an AITA as a Christian dealing with a drug problem who cheated on someone?

Or would MLMs and children need to be involved?

quote:

My husband and I have one child who is going to be two years old in December. She will be our only child, and she is and will be the entire 'next generation' in her extended family. Not counting our friends, she has 4 grandparents, a great-grandparent, and 6 aunts and uncles (3 couples) who ONLY have her to dote on.

We both come from cultures that adore babies and large families, so a generational bottleneck like this is unheard of. Last year, we realized that we needed to do something, because her birthday and first Christmas were...insane. Each couple sent 5 gifts each, and the grandparents all sent TEN. We had gotten a few things, so she had 40 gifts in total. Most of them were duplicates, and we had to make multiple car trips to donate all the duplicate items.

We decided that there needed to be a new rule: each person could only give one physical gift, and anything else they wanted to give had to be in the form of a gift card or donated to her college fund. Gifts outside of this would be returned to sender. This would still easily mean upwards of a dozen physical gifts on every occasion, but would at least keep it reasonable, and cut down on duplicates.

We texted this out back in March, where it was mostly ignored. We're now being asked what our child "wants for her birthday/Christmas". We repeated this rule, and it is...not going well. We're being called selfish and everyone is saying that it's rude to ask for or give gift cards/money. We tried explaining all the reasons that it just doesn't work in this situation, but they won't hear it and we're having a lot of seperate arguments. My mom is the only one who agrees with this and is getting into it with my husband's mom. They're talking about canceling Thanksgiving over it. Am I really in the wrong with this idea?

Mx. posted:

info: was it a megaman comic?

Invisible Clergy posted:

We're not supposed to poop in the museum.

AITA for forcing our families to only give my child gift cards or cash as presents?

Baronjutter posted:

Man, there's been so many stories along those lines where a parent has a few kids and one of them is autistic so suck up 99% of the parenting energy with the rest of the kids left with scraps at best. Plus of course the kids being expected to become the autistic kids caretaker once older. Then the kids end end fleeing.

Cythereal posted:

It's also a situation where I honestly have a bit of a hard time blaming the parents, too. Being a parent is incredibly goddamn hard at the very best of times, and an autistic child is the exact opposite of the very best of times. In most of these stories the autistic child is also the younger sibling, which further complicates things.

In my mind, this kind of situation is one where I'm not comfortable calling the parents bad parents. They're probably average parents, in a situation where average just doesn't cut it.

therobit posted:

AITAH for not giving my wife's family an invite to our wedding

She ended up setting up a date for her family to facetime us, that date was 3 days ago and it was no different, We were yelled at for 20 minutes until I got up to grab water, I am very clearly pregnant and as soon as I got up they all start praising me saying I would be an amazing mother, I walked out the room got my drink and came back, all they would talk about was the baby but my mother in law kept calling me a single mom and my Farther in law kept laughing when I said we were raising them together, at some point my wife ended up showing them her wedding ring, they started asking who she was married to? where is he? Is she planning on having kids with her husband?

thotsky posted:

You can't really have too much Lego.

Scaevolus posted:

My [28F] boyfriend of 4 years [38M] lied about a massive financial secret.

Facebook Aunt posted:

Broken homes have negative affects on a child's wellbeing and outcomes. Being raised by a single parent is objectively worse than being raised in a happy home by two parents.

quote:

They even do the instructions on an app now. Watching my little one click through the Mario instructions with step by step rotatable 3D renders made me instantly jealous of having to decipher the misprinted books with dubious arrows we got.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

As someone whose parents stayed together far too long trying to do just this: the kids can tell and it's so much worse than just having two separate households. I don't know why 'staying together for the children' is considered noble, when it's just egotism, dragging everyone through your barely concealed pain and convincing yourself it's working. It does not work in the children's favor - it's just about the adults salving their own guilt.

Being raised by two people barely containing their contempt for each other as your primary model for human interaction, it really fucks up your ideas of what stable healthy human relationships look like and you pretty much always think people have a hidden prerogative. It made me a cynic, even as a child.

And now I'm estranged from my dad who is the parent who insisted on pulling our family through that painful torture because of this kool-aid, so there ya go.

Coming home from school to a household of people pretending to like each other is some heartbreaking poo poo, don't do that to a kid.

quote:

I'll keep this as short as possible, would appreciate some advice.

I've been with my(f34) boyfriend(m35) for just over a year. We just bought a house together a few months ago.

He has a 14 year old daughter who he doesn't see due to her mum stopping contact and turning his daughter against him.

He also has a son who is 6 who he doesn't see either. He is still married to his sons mother but they've been separated for 5 years and she hates him. She stopped contact for no reason and she only allows him to see his son for a few minutes at birthdays/Christmas.

I've never spoken to his exes but he's told me that they both want to ruin his life and hate him for no reason. I know both his ex's have been with their boyfrinds for years and seem happy.

I sometimes feel like he isn't telling me the whole truth and whenever I try to ask more questions, he gets quite defensive.

We once bumped into his ex and son in a shop last year. my boyfriend completely ignored her while only talking to his son. She said hi to me and I said hi back but I felt very awkward and afterwards he would barely talk about it and said he didn't want to introduce us because she is crazy and would try to ruin our relationship.

What should I do? I want to marry this man one day and I love him. Should I reach out to his wife and get her side of the story? Or just leave it?

Thanks

EDIT: just want to add, he has a lot of amazing qualities and I really love him. He's had a hard life and has admitted to making mistakes in his past but I really want our relationship to work. I believe him but I have that niggling feeling in the back of my mind that is more of a what if?

Tl,dr: my boyfriend says his two kids mums are crazy, is still married to one of them. He gets defensive when I ask questions. Should I speak to his wife?

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Oh poo poo I was just coming back bc I just hit the part of the thread where you threatened probes IM SORRY I should not respond before finishing up new posts hold onnnn I'll grab content

quote:

So for context, I (27F) have a longterm friend (31F) who is struggling with infertility, so much so that she and her partner are looking for an egg donor, she is aware of the fact I plan to never have kids and so asked if i'd donate my eggs to her instead of her getting eggs from someone she doesn't know.

The thing is, I plan to never have kids because of my health, I'd love kids personally but I know it'd be unfair to have a child when I wont be able to care for it properly and then there is the fact that there is a chance a child could inherit my health issues so even if it was simply the fact I didn't want kids i'd still be uncomfortable with giving them to her...

She is upset that I will not consider her request and has stated that I know how much she wants a child and how my eggs are not being used and how unlike me she could care for the child and that she doesn't care if it inherits health problems as she'd care for it regardless, she even threw out that maybe I just want her to be childless like me so she can be miserable too. Edit: i'd just like to state I think this was said out of frustration and anger as this has been a tough road for her with the fertility struggles, I don't think she in any way actually meant this.

quote:

This will sound odd and is kind of hard to explain but basically I often volunteer to go on paranormal investigations to help with public events and often me and my mum and some friends pay to be part of the public at certain events. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea or beliefs but I really enjoy it and it's something I love doing. My friend Emily owns a paranormal group with her husband Dave. Me, mum and said friends often pay to go on paranormal investigations with her team in order to help her and Dave out towards the costs of hiring haunted venues.

For some context, In July, me and Mum paid to go to a haunted institute with Emily's group (Dave was ill so didn't attend) but a few other members of the team were there including a woman I'm friends with called Maddie. Mum brought our Ouija Board along with us and asked the team whether they'd like a go. The team agreed and Emily and Maddie were super pumped, they had never been on one before which surprised me but they were super excited to try it out. So we did.

We recently went to another of Emily's events at an old church that wasn't in practice any more - with some friends this time. The night was going smoothly; Maddie excitedly greeted me at the door and everything was fine. Emily was running late and I noticed there was a woman there I hadn't met before (who I found out was called Norah) standing with the rest of the team. I spoke with my Mum and told her that I was going to ask the team whether we could try the Ouija Board whilst we wait for Emily. So that's what I did. My exact words were ''Hey, are we allowed to use a Ouija Board?'' I think this is where I was a bit of an AH for not thinking.

I directed my question at the team as a whole then they all barked ''No!'' and then Norah stepped forward calling me disrespectful and how bad it was to ask to do such a thing in a church. The rest of the team scowled at me like I pissed in their cornflakes and I suddenly felt very stupid asking. Maddie was there but didn't say anything through the whole exchange.

I admit I was totally stupid to ask to do it in a church setting, I didn't think it might offend someone and stupidly thought the fact the church wasn't used for worship any more, it would be okay. I thought that was the end of it. But the team pretty much ignored me, mum and my friends all night long - whispering, scowling, staying at one end of the church away from us. Even Maddie stopped interacting with me and Norah just shot me daggers. The only two that didn't was Emily (who arrived later) and this guy called John who we made friends with (honestly he's a lovely bloke).

I had a lump in my throat for most of the night as Norah shouting at me kind of upset me and I felt like they were all whispering and excluding (flashbacks to school - shudder) us because of my question. When I got home, the next day, Mum showed me a post that had been put up on the official page for Emily's group - it was Dave making reference that it had been reported that someone had 'broke the rules' in regards to Ouija Boards on their previous investigation at the church. I immediately messaged Emily and told her to tell Dave that I'm sorry about asking about it; I didn't know it was against the rules. (I was super confused considering me, Emily and Maddie used it at the institute and Dave mentioned in the post that Ouija Boards were banned in ALL investigations from the beginning). Emily replied that it's okay and not to worry that Dave was just 'reminding' people. I still felt bad and decided to try and reach out to Norah to apologize - she seemed the most upset about it. Well she blocked me pretty quickly.

I have since been on an investigation in some old ruins (not with Emily's team just on our own) with the same friends we took to the church and one of our friends took me aside and spoke about the night of the church investigation. He told me how I was disrespectful and my question ruined the night as well as the trust of Emily's team.

I feel really awful and feel as if I've done something very bad. My Mum is telling me to take no notice and is wondering why they are so mad when we used one at the Institute? I have no clue though.

Advice on how to put this right is welcome. I don't want to lose Emily and her team's friendship.

TLDR: Asked about using a Ouija Board in a church on a paranormal investigation and have upset a few of my friends in the process

quote:

My boyfriend and I are getting ready for an elk hunt in October. We are down to the wire and need to sight in our fire arms for the hunt. One of my good guy friends was sighting in his fire arms and offered to do mine. I ended up taking him up on his offer because I knew I didn't have enough time before the hunt and felt like it was a hassle on my boyfriend to do

My boyfriend calls me drunk saying he's insulted that I'd let another man do that for me when he feels like he is highly skilled. He's an ex marine and I really do think he is. He feels like I went behind his back and proceeds to harass me about doing that.

Now my boyfriend isn't a fan of my guy friend ( mind you he has a girl friend who I'm also friends with and my boyfriend knows this ) because he felt like my friend over stepped a boundary.

teen witch posted:

You don’t have PMs but uh, add content or I won’t give you a sixer, as we are done with this topic. you have until I’m on the train. How long does that take?

you’ll see

quote:

I(27M) and my wife(24F) have been married for 3 years. She is 6 months pregnant.

I have been looking for a job with a better pay since my wife said that she wanted to be a SAHM after the birth.

Today, I had this interview for a position at a very good IT company which would be paying triple my current salary.

There were a lot of measures taken to prevent malpractice. I was not allowed to look anywhere but the screen, etc. The test was conducted on an online platform.

I had told her numerous times before the exam about the strict invigilation.

Just 15 minutes after the test started, my wife started knocking on my study door and calling out my name saying she wanted me to open a jar. I ignored her because I would be disqualified from the interview if I looked anywhere else or spoke... I figured she'd get the hint that I couldn't talk. But she didn't she yelled at me calling me an AH and went on to talk to her friends on call. It didn't stop at the calls, she played loud music for her online dance yoga class. It was extremely distracting and I made a lot of mistakes in the exam

It was a multiple choice questions based test so I got the results immediately and as expected I had miserably failed it.

I was livid at my wife. This was the 5th interview that she ruined like this. I told her that I give up on trying to make her life easier and that I'm not ready to go looking for any more jobs since she doesn't even want to maintain silence during important interviews. I told her to start working again after the birth and that I am ok paying for a nanny/babysitter.

She said that in being unreasonable in expecting perfect silence at home.

AITA?

quote:

I knew about her habit which is why I got noise cancelling headphones. However, my wife gave it to her brother who had exams

Zurtilik posted:

I bring you a snack of content. Perhaps I will bring a real whopper later.

My boyfriend 44m is mad because I 30 F let a good male friend help me get ready for my elk hunt.

quote:

I (28f) have dated this guy (35m) for almost 6 years but he recently told me that I have treated him like a cockroach and I do not know how to react/respond to that, I have kept to myself since. The events leading upto to this complaint from him is as follows -

Was making him crepes one morning for breakfast, he smeared fresh batter over cooked crepes. He was trying to help, but when food does not turn out tasty, he cribs to me that I'm a bad cook. So when he mixed up the ladles and smeared batter, I raised my voice and asked him to let me finish making crepes. He did not enter the kitchen to help me actually, he was in a hurry to get out and he wanted to be done with breakfast. Until now, he rarely helps me in kitchen when I cook. Only the previous day to this incident, he told his friend that I'm a bad cook and his friend asked me why I don't feed decent food to my bf. My bf did not even take my side, he smirked at me. He fails to see how I'm always making him trail mix, vegan cakes etc so he can enjoy the food he used to before turning vegan. He's apparently been eating meat and eggs without telling me and I do not know how to ask him if this is true. (his friend casually mentioned this to me and asked me to forget about it). He guilts me when I use faux leather bag but he's being a hypocrite himself!

He insulted me in front of his friends that my career is headed for a doom as nobody cares about science and research esp after covid, and that I will end up jobless after my graduation. He told his friends that I'm doing "something useless in lab" and I did not retort, I kept my calm. His friends did not take sides, they just sat there and nodded and I excused myself from the gathering shortly after, for a brief time. I did not talk about this again to my bf.

I feel like I'm constantly disappointing him, even when I don't get angry. What am I doing wrong here? I knew that the crepe incident was a bit too much, I was rude, but to have to be criticized constantly over minor things exhausts me.

I am having a hard time to understand what he wants. How can I make this relationship any better ?

TLDR - My bf and I fought over cooking crepes as I asked him not spoil things in a hurry. He criticizes me when I cook home food. I was trying to make him a decent breakfast, he smeared the wet batter over cooked crepes and I told him to wait in the living room until I was done cooking. He humiliated me in front of his friends that I am a bad cook, didn't tell me directly. He said I treat him like a cockroach. Been with him for over 5.5 years now, been his emotional support through his failures and what not, he doesn't trust me one bit and I'm exhausted. Also, he's faking that he is vegan although he has eaten meat and eggs . I did not know this until his friend casually blurted this.

What wrong am I doing here and how should I respond to this ? Should I ask him why he lies to me about his food habits (going vegan was his own choice, nobody forced him) ?

quote:

We have been together over a year and a half and this will be our second Christmas together. We don't live together and we're both working students.

I am a horrible gift-giver. I love giving presents and I spend a lot of time thinking about upcoming holidays and the perfect gifts to give. It makes me so happy to see people opening presents. With my boyfriend though.... I don't know if I'm just not listening enough, or maybe I just don't "get him", or what, but I've never managed to give my boyfriend a "good" gift. I say this because I have never seen him use a single gift I've given him.

For example, he once showed me how to make crêpes, but lamented that the pan's edges were too high (as we're poor grad students, there's just the one...), making the task a little difficult. As a random gift, I decided to find him a nice flat pan, specifically for making crêpes. He was immensely excited when he opened the present, but since then, it hasn't left the shelf.. Now I don't live with him, so maybe he uses it when I'm not there, but it's always in the exact same spot and looks pristine.

Then, a few months ago, I saved up for a long time to buy him a programmable robot. It's a toy and not nearly as advanced as the ones he works with at his lab, but he had expressed interest in getting one just to see what he could do with it. We'd played with this exact robot at a museum and he loved it. I'd been saving it for months and I couldn't wait to see him open it. Well, he loved it and he gave me a million kisses when he saw it. Now the still plastic-wrapped box has gathered a layer of dust in his closet.

This is the same with everything I've given him, those are just the biggest examples. In contrast, he used a pen his ex gave him until the inner spring broke...

He's a very loving and attentive boyfriend and he's given me wonderful presents. I feel like he really put a lot of thought into them. I have gotten a lot of use out of everything he's ever given me and I take great pride in showing them off.

Now Christmas is coming up and I'm just dreading it. I haven't even got an idea of what to get him this time. A tchotchke for his shelf seems most appropriate, as that's where everything else is, but I love him and I do want to put effort into this.

How do I become a good gift-giver?

Tl;dr - I can't seem to give my boyfriend gifts he'll actually use. How do I get good at this?

kimbo305 posted:

Tobermory posted:

I (f20) might have ruined a handful of friendships over a stupid question

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA I got mad at my wife because she caused me to fail an important interview

This was the 5th interview that she ruined like this.

Woodchip posted:

My boyfriend said that I treat him like a cockroach and I'm devastated. What can I do to correct this situation?

My [28F] gifts to my boyfriend [26M] always flop and I am starting to dread the holidays.

stop taking crepe from these losers