- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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AITA for telling my boyfriend he’s given me the ick so bad that I can’t stomach dating him anymore?
This feels like the script of a bad raunchy sitcom, the main character doesn't want to dump the OP and his friends have convinced him to do increasingly bizarre things to get her to dump him
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Oct 26, 2021 09:03
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 5, 2024 20:13
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Aita for suggesting to my wife that my daughter (15) is taking too many mental health days from school
quote:
My daughter is a sophomore in highschool. My wife is a major mental health advocate and I like to think I am too. I believe in taking mental health days once in awhile if the stress and emotions with work/school are reaching a breaking point. BUT I do think there’s a line somewhere.
Here’s the sitch, since quarantine ended and my daughter started going back to in person classes last year, she has been taking a number of mental health days since my wife told her that’s okay. At first I was completely fine with it and I was understanding. I know highschool can be rough especially having to deal with what the kids are dealing with in school these days.
Well it’s gotten to the point where it seems every other week or once every 3 weeks my daughter is taking a day off school, citing mental health. I think my daughter is starting to abuse this. Wife and I tried talking to her about going to therapy if she’s really struggling this much, but she won’t go. So honestly I think she’s just taking advantage of her mom being so lax about this. Also, we haven’t seen huge changes in her behavior. She still seems to be a happy 15 year old for the most part.
It’s important to care for your mental health, but my daughter needs to learn she can’t skip school/work anytime she feels a little sad. I think my wife is enabling this so I had a talk with her. I told her that I think we have to put some sort of rule in place with these mental health days because she can’t be missing as much as she is.
My wife scoffed at me and said “how dare you question your own daughters mental health” I love my daughter and I want the best for her. But I know she’s always been a little trickster so I think she could just be taking advantage of this. I want to reiterate that I’ve had a talk with her about her mental health, asking if she needs anything from us, every time she takes one of these days. She says she’s fine every time.
LOL I am not sure high school kids should be introduced to the concept of a mental health day. Like, if you are so bad off you just can’t then pull a sickie or cut class and go smoke at t he board next to the river, but letting them know that at any point they cannot plead mental health and get a pass is not knowledge I’d trust a high school kid with. Adults have the self limiting factor of needing to remain employed.
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Oct 26, 2021 09:19
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- teen witch
- Oct 9, 2012
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My (33F) friend (33F) is being used for propaganda and I don't know how to reach out to her about it
quote:
My friend got a really, really, bad side effect that can happen with injections and is extremely rare - unfortunately the injection that gave her the side effect is the J&J Covid vaccine. She has been posting about it on her personal social media, but it looks like her posts are being shared by a VERY OBVIOUS propaganda blog (it calls the J&J a "DNA vaccine", includes links to buy Ivermectin and Hydroxychloroquin, there's a page about how masks are evil, etc.; if this were a relatively unbaised news article I would be less concerned, but it's definitely not). This blog is the second result when you search her name. She has a reasonably public life with businesses under her actual name - these are all below the propaganda piece in question in the search results.
I want to reach out to her to make sure she's aware (working under the assumption that she doesn't know/didn't authorize this) because it's both very harmful propaganda by itself and could hurt her business - I know I would be not feel safe hiring her if I saw this and assumed it was OK'd by her. I know we have differing political beliefs (she's Christian and I think leans soft right; I'm queer, very far left, pagan) so I'm afraid my default reaction is colored by politics. I'm pretty good IRL at talking to people from all backgrounds and persuasions usually, but I'm a bit stumped here. I think mostly it's because I'm afraid of losing her because she's my oldest friend and her parents are like second parents to me - I've known her since I was a couple hours old. We've drifted apart for a couple decades but I am afraid to lose what is left. Reddit, how should I approach this?
(If it matters I'm vaccinated, doing fine, and eagerly awaiting my booster).
tl;dr: My friend got a rare side effect from an injection and is being used for outright dangerous anti-vax propaganda. I want to warn her but I don't know how to approach due to our differing backgrounds
The comments on this one are taking years off my life. Some of them are straight downplaying the OPs concerns and
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Oct 26, 2021 09:47
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- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
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I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
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My boss cried when I asked for a raise
quote:I worked at an office for seven years. A few months ago, I asked for a raise. My manager said she would get back to me and I never heard anything.
A month later, the job was growing increasingly mentally and physically demanding. I came to my manager again and asked for a Monday-Thursday schedule. Again, silence. So I started seeking other jobs. When I was up-front about this with my manager, miraculously she was able to discuss my raise/better schedule with my boss the next day.
I was told no, that I couldn’t work the four days (which is a normal schedule in my profession). I was also told I couldn’t get a raise unless I worked the exact days they wanted me to and no less. My manager said my boss was “extremely hurt” by me wanting to work a more manageable schedule with better pay. So I had a meeting with my boss and she cried. She said she felt hurt I was doing this to her and I was seeming ungrateful. There were a lot of toxic things said on top of that. The following day, when I had follow-up questions about my raise (given I agreed to the days they said were a must), I was met with silence AGAIN.
I snapped. After years of being mentally abused by my manager, I wrote an immediate resignation letter and left it on my boss’s desk at the end of the day. She won’t see it until tomorrow. It’s not the way I wanted to go out. But I have a job lined up that doesn’t need her reference.
My question now is, can I block calls and texts from the office? I know when she sees I quit without notice, she will be enraged, and will reach out to belittle me and blame me for messing up her schedule and business. Can I block it all out?
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Oct 26, 2021 10:44
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- packetmantis
- Feb 26, 2013
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That title made me bark-laugh irl. gently caress that boss, wow.
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Oct 26, 2021 10:52
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- webmeister
- Jan 31, 2007
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The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
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AITA for telling my boyfriend he’s given me the ick so bad that I can’t stomach dating him anymore?
This guy should hook up with that memelord girlfriend from threads past who started moaning doge memes during sex
"omg such sex wow"
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Oct 26, 2021 12:49
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I really was curious how she got a fish disease at first
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Oct 26, 2021 13:04
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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I really was curious how she got a fish disease at first
The Innsmouth Itch.
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Oct 26, 2021 13:17
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- Soylent Pudding
- Jun 22, 2007
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We've got people!
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AITA for Booting Maid of Honor?quote:
I'm a newlywed(27f), and I had only two bridesmaids because I kicked one to the curb a few months before the big day.
My friend Tara (name changed, obv) and I have known each other for about 8 years. We have always gotten along because I don't mind playing second fiddle. She's quite friendly, and confident, but also a bit spoiled. Nevertheless, I never let it bother me much.
When my bf proposed, I asked Tara to be my MOH. She was ecstatic and we made plans to for her to fly down to pick out dresses with the other girls.
Red flag, but when Tara arrived to stay with me, she asked what I made for dinner. I said, "you know I don't cook" but she was very unpleasant and put out that I was not hosting her properly.
The next day, we did brunch with my flowergirl (my daughter) and bridesmaids at this cute tea shop. She refused to interact with anyone, even after I paid for everyone's food. She ignored my little daughter's attempts to talk and asked when we could leave.
Our plans were to go to the dress shop, which I reminded her, but she said she didn't feel well. So I said okay, we will send pics.
So the rest of us go and have a nice time, and Tara does not respond to my attempts to pick a dress. Finally, we get home and she is watching a horror movie in the main room, and eating chips. When I come in to share about our day, she shushes me and says "Can't you see I am trying to watch a movie?" Then Tara starts up another movie, turns the volume all the way up and tries to shush everyone.
She continues being so demanding and rude, I have a panic attack the next day, and- annoyed that she was not being hosted properly- Tara left. She said everything made her too "anxious". I actually have an anxiety disorder so I know how that can be, but... come on. Don't try to use that as an excuse to be a jerk to people.
When I got better, I got Tara and told her that since everything stressed her out so much, she should reconsider being my MOH. I want you to come as a guest, but you are relieved of your duties.
She kept asking why... Finally, I said, "If you are causing this much trouble now, I don't want you around me on my wedding day. You are being selfish and spoiled, and if no one has told you yet- it's like being around an entitled child. You need to change that."
She still came to the wedding, glaring daggers and dropping mean comments. After the wedding, she starts calling me every week to tell me how I ruined that experience for her.
Finally, I just snapped and said, "Well I meant it! And you can call as much as you want, but that just shows that I was right! Don't call me again about this."
Haven't heard a peep.So Reddit, AITA?
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Oct 26, 2021 14:08
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- Zurtilik
- Oct 23, 2015
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The Biggest Brain in Guardia
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My girlfriend (22F) disappeared
quote:Having my first post on here be a cry for help feels like talking to an old friend on Facebook just to ask them to join my business idea, but I'm relatively desperate and in need of your opinions.
Backstory: 1 year long distance relationship with 22yo Muslim girl from Canada. I'm a 20yo European man. Despite time, culture and age differences we connect amazingly. We talk daily for 10ish months and at some point her family finds out about us and tells her to stop talking to me.
A week ago, we skype and have a good time watching the Witcher series. Her head hurt as she went to sleep, not before sending me messages meant to put a smile on my face when I wake up. On that day she was supposed to go to a Muslim person with her mom, presumably to talk about her relationship with me. I haven't heard from her since. I tried contacting through multiple apps and it appears that she either blocked me, or deleted her account on Facebook, WhatsApp and LinkedIn, LinkedIn? Why would she delete her LinkedIn? I tried calling her, but her number is not in service, which apparently means that it doesn't exist.
The only explanation for that would be that she lost her phone and she had to delete those accounts and cancel her SIM card. But she would've had Skype to contact me through. I called all hospitals in her city and thankfully she wasn't in any of them. I also checked online news and saw nothing related to her.
At this point, there are two scenarios in my head. Either her parents took more extreme measures to make sure she isn't talking to me, or she decided to listen to them. School starts tomorrow and I hope she contacts me.
What do you guys think? Am I missing something?
TL;DR - my muslim girlfriend of 1 year disappeared and I need help to figure out what happened.
Edit: 2 months passed without contact from her. I mostly managed to move on, although I sometimes look back wondering what happened. She was online on one app we used to talk on and she changed her name in another app that we used only for chatting, which I assume she did to subtly tell me she's not dead.
Thank you for all the helpful comments, you guys made moving on more bearable. I found there are people on this app went through similar situations and their stories helped me understand that this is not uncommon.
I remember thinking that her ghosting me whould be simply unbearable, but it turns out I was underestimating myself. For anyone out there going through something similar, remember that the pain slowly fades with time.
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Oct 26, 2021 14:29
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- Sisal Two-Step
- May 29, 2006
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mom without jaw
dad without wife
i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
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My boss cried when I asked for a raise
You can do whatever you want, op. You're free and clear.
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Oct 26, 2021 14:48
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- sullat
- Jan 9, 2012
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After 3 years pass you automatically waive your right to that refund and the IRS keeps it.
But you don't pay them? They'll will hunt you to the grave.
Only if you die within 10 years of the tax assessment (because that's the statute of limitations on collection)
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Oct 26, 2021 14:56
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- holtemon
- May 2, 2019
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Dancing is forbidden
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Greatest laxative ever invented
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Oct 26, 2021 15:03
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- Xun
- Apr 25, 2010
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Boyfriend broke up with me because he saw my menstrual cup.
quote:
My boyfriend (30M) and I (26F) share a bathroom, but each have our own sinks. On the last day of my period, I thoroughly clean my menstrual cup in MY sink (there is completely no residue and is very clean). I thoroughly clean it with soap/water, then soak it in hot water with a bit of hydrogen peroxide for about 2-3 hours while I do other stuff. When it is done I put it away in my drawer and bleach the sink. My boyfriend isn't a huge fan of blood so I really do my best to make sure to clean it really well. (I know boiling it in the kitchen is a great way of cleaning it, but I think my bf would literally have a stroke if I even brought it in there. So this is my next best option).
While soaking in the sink the other day, my boyfriend happened to see it, and became extremely upset calling my menstrual cup "gross", "disgusting", and "unhygienic". He told me he wants me from here on out to only empty and clean my cup in the downstairs bathroom where he won't see it. Or to find a way to hide it so he won't see the cup (which I promise has nothing on it, I really do my best to clean it). I was really taken aback and basically said no I want to be able to clean and empty my cup in the comfort of my own bathroom where all my supplies are. I also was upset the only solutions he proposed were for me to change and made things more inconvenient for me, he didn't offer any compromises on his end to do anything differently. I reacted a bit poorly at the end and said to deal with it because it's my sink and I can't go my whole life hiding my cup from him if I need to clean it.
I tried to explain to him if he could bring up this situation in a nicer way and not shame me for my health products, I would be a lot more willing to discuss a compromise if it really makes him that uncomfortable. But he is adamant I apologize because I am being inflexible and won't hide my menstrual cup from him. But honestly, I don't really loving want to live my life hiding a drat cup and jumping through hoops using another bathroom to empty/clean it every month. TMI, but I also have to say I'm a bit confused as to why this bothers him so much when he is perfectly ok with period sex. When it benefits him it's ok, but God forbid he sees my clean menstrual cup. I also am not a huge fan of the consistency of cum, but you know I deal with it because it's a part of his body and I would never want him to feel bad for that. But anyway, he ended up breaking up with me after 2 years and after me moving across the country for him because I am being inflexible and won't hide my period products.
So idk maybe I am being insensitive about not trying harder to hide my period products. He told me it is a major red flag because I'm not trying harder to compromise on this to make him feel more comfortable with my period. Maybe? But idk I am worried I'm just being gaslighted and I shouldn't have to feel bad for cleaning my products in my own sink. If I am being lovely I am open to criticism. He said if I apologized for being inflexible and will do better at making him feel comfortable about this, he won't break up with me. But at the same time I am loving tired of having to make other people feel comfortable for something I have no control over, that I already try really hard to make sure is clean. I kind of see his point of view and tried discussing this with him, but it just makes me feel so ashamed now even using a cup and I just feel gross. No advice really needed, more of a vent. But I am open to any similar experiences or constructive criticism on my end if you think I could have done better. Or if you just want to talk about menstrual cups because I think they are the best thing ever lol. Personally, I don't think we should have to feel ashamed of them and hide our health products. I think it's time I put my foot down. I am scared to break up and be on my own after being together so long, but I think it's for the best. Thanks for reading.
TLDR: Cleaned my menstrual cup in my own sink, in a bathroom we share (he has his own sink). He said I needed to clean my cup in a different bathroom or hide it so he wouldn't have to see it because it makes him uncomfortable. I said no and I wanted to continue to use my own bathroom. Broke up with me for being inflexible about hiding my products.
Spooky scary period products
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Oct 26, 2021 15:06
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- small ghost
- Jan 30, 2013
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Love the detail that he's apparently fine with period sex but seeing a clean menstrual cup? Quelle horreur!
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Oct 26, 2021 15:12
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- Tetramin
- Apr 1, 2006
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I'ma buck you up.
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AITA for helping my friend hide money from his soon to be ex-wife?
i think OP should not only do this, but continue to just straight up tell people that this is what he's doing
what could possibly go wrong
I don’t know poo poo about claims like this, but from what I’ve seen people in this thread say, he bought the crypto before marriage and kept it separate from all other finances right? It seems like the wife has no claim over that. Hopefully what dingus and wingus are doing here makes it breaking the law
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Oct 26, 2021 15:15
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- sullat
- Jan 9, 2012
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I don’t know poo poo about claims like this, but from what I’ve seen people in this thread say, he bought the crypto before marriage and kept it separate from all other finances right? It seems like the wife has no claim over that. Hopefully what dingus and wingus are doing here makes it breaking the law
How marital property is divided is complicated and depends from state to state, but yeah, hiding assets is generally a big no-no.
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Oct 26, 2021 15:18
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- Sisal Two-Step
- May 29, 2006
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mom without jaw
dad without wife
i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
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Love the detail that he's apparently fine with period sex but seeing a clean menstrual cup? Quelle horreur!
I wonder if it's to do with the size of the cup. We had a winner posted in the last thread who was intimidated by how large the cup was.
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Oct 26, 2021 15:18
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- Halloween Jack
- Sep 12, 2003
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I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
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Spooky scary period products
She definitely dodged a bullet.
LOL I am not sure high school kids should be introduced to the concept of a mental health day. Like, if you are so bad off you just can’t then pull a sickie or cut class and go smoke at t he board next to the river, but letting them know that at any point they cannot plead mental health and get a pass is not knowledge I’d trust a high school kid with.
To paraphrase Matt Bruenig, if there's a magic button that forces everyone to agree with you, everyone will press it.
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Oct 26, 2021 15:22
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- Rescue Toaster
- Mar 13, 2003
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It's not so much "breaking the law" as something that will be unwound and clawed back by the court if they find out about it and determine she does have a claim to it and there's nothing you can do to stop them (other than I guess successfully arguing they aren't communal property). Everyone who tries to hide assets thinks they're the first one to try it
Either way, he's the rear end in a top hat for saying "that bitch steals nothing" and for owning crypto in the first place
Yeah either:
A) He's right and he's successfully kept the assets separate and she won't get any of them, in which case there's nothing to worry about.
B) She is entitled to half and he's hiding them which the court will not be amused by and will probably penalize him for.
Now that other people know about it there's certainly no point trying to hide it, it can only make you look bad to the court even if you're right.
Since crypto is considered a commodity I wonder if it's handled differently in any way than regular cash accounts kept separate. Presumably you could make some argument about the gains in value that accrued while married? And that's all the mental effort I'm willing to spend on loving crypto today.
Rescue Toaster fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Oct 26, 2021
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Oct 26, 2021 15:45
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- Soylent Pudding
- Jun 22, 2007
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We've got people!
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AITA for RSVP'ing "NO" in-person to my friend's wedding?quote:
Brett is a "casual" friend of mine.
We became friends through other mutual friends and will occasionally grab a beer during lunch, but won't really hang out together unless it's an-involved bigger group activity (like bowling). He's a nice guy, likes good music and The Yankees but isn't weird about it since he knows I don't know poo poo about baseball.
Anyway last year, my SO and I were invited to his wedding and got a Save the Date in the mail. Due to the pandemic, the wedding was postponed and they had to reschedule for this year.
They sent out revised Save The Dates and the wedding falls on a weekend that my SO and I are planning to move. We couldn't do it any other weekend, and since Brett is only a casual friend I figured he wouldn't be heartbroken if we couldn't make it to his big day...especially considering the circumstances. Moving is hella stressful. At some point they mailed us an RSVP, but the house is in such chaos right now I'm almost positive I threw it away by accident.
I figured it was no big deal, I was meeting Brett for lunch anyway (this was last week) and I'd just let him know in-person that we weren't able to make it, but we'd still get him a gift off his wedding registry. I was aiming for the Kitchen Aid toaster.
Brett and I met for a beer and it was a good lunch, we chatted about work and video games, etc. and of course the topic of the wedding came up. He asked me if I got my RSVP and I told him we received it. I explained the situation, said it was unavoidable but we were going to be moving that weekend and wouldn't be able to make it. He seemed only mildly disappointed, but totally understood. But then that's where the problem came up.
He asked me to just mail back in the RSVP with "no" in the box. I asked why, since I was telling him in-person. He was insistent that I send him back a physical copy. I asked if I could just text him a reminder so he could write it down. He said he gets a lot of texts per day. I asked maybe an email reminder? he refused, said he gets a lot of work emails.
Me: “Why do I need to mail back the card? I just told you I’m not coming?”
Brett: “I’ll forget... The cards are the only way for me to keep track.”
Me: “Well, I may have already thrown it out.”
Brett: “What? Why?!”
Me: “I knew we were meeting! And, well, I'm pretty sure it didn’t have pre-paid postage!”
Brett: “Oh, so that’s it, huh? Can’t spare the extra 47¢?”
Me: “It’s 2021! Who even has stamps?! I’d need to find out where a post office is, then do I walk? Take an Uber? And once I’m there, do I buy a single stamp or a full sheet? Maybe one of those rolls? It’s just all too much.”
Brett: “Maybe it’s better that you don’t come.”
Me: “I wasn't coming anyway!”
I offered to write down my RSVP on a napkin for him but the lunch was pretty much over.
I'm still getting him a toaster.
AITA?
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Oct 26, 2021 16:09
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- DemoneeHo
- Nov 9, 2017
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Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca
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Guess the pet!
AITA For firing my house sitter
NTA because that girl was playing MGS3 and totally wanted to feed on a tree frog
AITA for RSVP'ing "NO" in-person to my friend's wedding?
Is NBC using reddit to test potential scripts for a Seinfeld reboot?
AITA for accidentally reporting noisy breast pumping during an exam?
quote:I had a college test yesterday and shortly after starting I kept hearing a continuous sound right behind me, like a repeated tapping about every 3 seconds. At first I just attempted to ignore it and figured someone was tapping heavily on their computer’s keyboard over and over out of anxiety, but it was very noticeable in the otherwise quiet environment.
After about 10 minutes, I noticed other people in the room looking around and I figured they were also probably trying to figure out what the noise was. One lady across the room made eye contact with me with a questioning look as if to say “what in the hell is that?” I shook my head to let her know I had no idea. The professor noticed the other student looking over at me, and the student pointed in my direction so I think the professor must have thought I had a question or was trying to get her attention, so I slightly raised my hand and she came right over.
I quietly told her I wasn’t sure what this “tapping” sound was but it seemed like people were becoming distracted by it. She asked, “is it me making the sound at my desk?” which confused me because this wasn’t a subtle noise and of course I knew it wasn’t her. So I said no, and motioned behind me to show her where I was talking about. She said “I understand” and went to the student behind me and I didn’t hear what was said, but the noise stopped after that. So whatever, I just moved on with my exam.
After the test, I learned the student behind me had been using an electric breast pump during the test. Someone from my class told me I should apologize to that lady at once because she likely had suffered physical issues due to my actions and that her whole pumping schedule was probably messed up now, and said this woman likely hates me now because of the pain she must have endured due to me. I just responded that I had no idea of what was going on so I surely couldn’t be at fault for that.
Should I have just not said anything? It is very hard for me to focus while listening to distracting sounds, especially in a pattern, and I may be more sensitive to this than others. I very much support people’s right to have accommodations to pump as needed but when it’s becoming a noisy distraction to the rest I can’t help but feel other arrangements would be reasonable? And was I wrong to say something to the professor even though I had no idea of what was happening?
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Oct 26, 2021 16:19
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- sephiRoth IRA
- Jun 13, 2007
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"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."
-Carl Sagan
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AITA for accidentally reporting noisy breast pumping during an exam?
Well that sucks for everyone involved. Poor lady, and it's not like the OP was aware at the time.
I think the OP is probably being a bit oversensitive and could've tried to move past it, but if you replace pumping with some dude playing an anxiety drum solo with his pencil it's understandable to raise the issue.
sephiRoth IRA fucked around with this message at 16:42 on Oct 26, 2021
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Oct 26, 2021 16:39
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- Alchenar
- Apr 9, 2008
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AITA for Booting Maid of Honor?
Read as far as "you know I dont cook"
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Oct 26, 2021 17:05
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 5, 2024 20:13
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- Serephina
- Nov 8, 2005
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恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー
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What? Like, a lady was pumping in the middle of an exam hall? Isn't that a lot of gear to set up, nevermind the whole privacy thing?
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Oct 26, 2021 17:10
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