Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Uncle ShortyB posted:

Fiancee(27f) made new friends asked us to be swingers then cheated and asked me reclaim her

Will I be a fool to rekindle our relationship again?

Yes. The biggest fool. Do not, under any circumstances, get back together with the cheating moron.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Zurtilik
Oct 23, 2015

The Biggest Brain in Guardia
If you're fine with being cheated on, go for it!

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

My boyfriend spits on me and treats me like a slave. Leave him?! How dare you!

Zurtilik
Oct 23, 2015

The Biggest Brain in Guardia
Some people are into that. Don't yuck someone's YUM!

Zurtilik
Oct 23, 2015

The Biggest Brain in Guardia
My [26F] boyfriend [28M] of 4 years has a trove of WEIRD (like underage roleplaying/borderline furry websites) usernames/etc stretching back years where he is a girl in an Email account I have access to. My mind is reeling.

quote:

I'm genuinely posting here because I can't quite believe what I've uncovered and the ensuing fall out. I'll explain.

My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years. I won't paint a picture of domestic bliss as I often see on these posts. It's been up and down on both sides occasionally, but he's a rock and someone I consider good-hearted. We don't have big dramas, just ebbs and flows in our relationship, and we're very in love. He's always been a bit young at heart and seemed more innocent than me, as well as a little prudish in the bedroom, although our sex life is healthy (3-5 times a week) and he initiates 90% of the time. In the interest of full disclosure, he is also bisexual and has been with a few men. He concealed this from me until I befriended someone a year ago who had hooked up with him. I was hurt because he knew I'd dated bi guys in the past and not cared, but I also was mindful that it was 'his deal' and if he didn't want to share, he didn't have to.

We run a joint business that he opened through his normal email address. This email address stretches back about 7 years. I was very touched by his transparency and can say that, in all honesty, I keep my snooping in check because I wouldn't want him to do a deep dive on me and am private myself. When we first began dating, there was a DeviantArt profile that bore his (distinctive) name. I asked him about it, but he pointed out the gender was a girl on it, and I shrugged it off because the drawings were so strange, childlike and I just didn't think it was anything but a bizarre coincidence.

Something felt off between us the last time we hung out. He was acting defensive and guilty and it threw me off balance. Instinct told me something major was going down and he was trying to hide it from me. So, I snooped. I was expecting he'd been fired or something. I can't even really explain why, it was like a thousand alarms went off in my head at once. I began combing his emails, and I found some really weird poo poo.

He's got a bunch of emails from 2012, 2016 and 2018 that have to do with... like... online flirting for teens, strange role playing websites for animals from games designed for children, fanfiction accounts, virtual reality platforms designed for teens - just stuff that no guy in his 20s would typically want to be doing. On top of this, they all correspond to this deviantart account (as in, similar weird child-like drawings and fascination with like furry-style anthropomorphic characters) that he swore wasn't his. They're all also signed up to as if he was a girl. Most are under two names, "Phoebe" and "Ariana", which are both names of female celebrities I know he admires. I just don't know what to make of it.

I went to him immediately. I didn't care if I looked crazy, I was seriously so over the top WTF about it that I just needed an immediate explanation because my mind was running away from me (why would he want to catfish young children? what the gently caress was going on?). He said he'd never opened those emails and had no idea what they were about. They were all unread, but in his main email account, not a junk section. I had to activate some of the accounts just to see what they were about. Most of these accounts would be opened in a burst, over a short period of time (like a few days), and then there would be nothing about them again, until a few months later when there would be new and 'fresh' sign ups for similar websites. He swore they weren't his, and I think I was just so confused and shaken that I accepted it. He had me apologising to him. I felt crazy.

I then went home and realised the DeviantArt connection (I hadn't yet). I went on to Google, Googled his name... and it was gone. It had been there a few days earlier when I googled his name. However, when I searched my chat logs with my friends to when we were first dating, I found the link again to the artist homepage (I sent it to my best friend) and saw that he'd done a hard scrub on it immediately, which confirmed it was his.

I believed him in person, but I am not a great judge of lying and at the time I was so upset that I was happy that there was just an explanation. I now am beginning to believe I have been deceived, and there could be a lot more going on. I just don't know where to start or even if I should uncover more.

I seriously need your help, whether it's a reality check or a wrap on the wrist for being insane. I ONLY have more questions and I'm feeling so unsettled and unsure of what he has been doing online, whether it's even my business or if this is the tip of a very weird, very hosed up iceberg.

My questions are:

Do I have a right to be upset and unnerved by this? Is it even anything?
Is there any way to cross reference or check any of the information I've found out before I jump to crazy conclusions? Any tips, whether through here or private message, would be appreciated.
Do literally ANY of you have insight into what he has been doing? I'm more upset about the underage/interacting with children bit than the furry bit - I don't really care if that's one of the things that gets him off, although it ain't me.
TLDR Found a string of sign up emails for strange, child-targeted 'furry' like role playing sites stretching back years in my boyfriend's Email. I seriously have no clue where to take it from here or what it could all mean. Help me, /r/Relationships - you're my only hope.

Edit for coherency, I'm so anxious and upset right now that some of these sentences don't really make sense

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

That man totally deserves to be kinkshamed. Also, who the gently caress doesn't make a new email account for business?

Zurtilik
Oct 23, 2015

The Biggest Brain in Guardia
I have more burner e-mails than legit ones I'm sure. Long forgotten. To be uncovered by some internet archaeologist!

blatman
May 10, 2009

14 inc dont mez


what kind of rube doesn't have at least a dozen burner emails for signing up for stupid garbage

im not giving my real email to some lovely private wow server and im definitely not giving my real email to reddit

Uncle ShortyB
Oct 18, 2013

"Do you think since your cat is dead I could

You know

Wear it?"

Zurtilik posted:

I have more burner e-mails than legit ones I'm sure. Long forgotten. To be uncovered by some internet archaeologist!

"Why does this fuckin Pignipples Johnson dude keep signing up for things and then cancelling them before the trial is over? Why is that the only thing he does?"

spouse
Nov 10, 2008

When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.


Zurtilik posted:

My [26F] boyfriend [28M] of 4 years has a trove of WEIRD (like underage roleplaying/borderline furry websites) usernames/etc stretching back years where he is a girl in an Email account I have access to. My mind is reeling.


Wait, so I'm not sure on this one, is he on a website where everyone is pretending to gently caress neopets, or is he on neopets and sexually propositioning children? Big difference here. One's weird, one is... uh... run.

Uncle ShortyB posted:

Fiancee(27f) made new friends asked us to be swingers then cheated and asked me reclaim her

Jesus Christ. This for some reason reminded me of my bio-father telling me a couple years ago about his failed marriage with my step-mother and then ending the story with "But I want you to know that poly relationships can still work, if you're both considering that." and I told him "I think this proves that outside of very specific circumstances they very much do not, and also my gf (now fiancée) and I are not considering that whatsoever. I don't have enough attention or patience for more than one person at a time."

Lol if you get back together with this person.

deety posted:

My boyfriend has everything else I need... except for a current job, respect for me, and respect for our shared space!

I always wonder if these people who proclaim their obvious dogshit partner to be perfect just have low self-esteem, think they can't find anything better, have sunk-cost fallacy tattooed on their forehead, etc.

Zurtilik posted:

[/b][/u]
My [22 F] boyfriend's​ [22 M] brother [19M] is responsible for the death of his pet parrot, boyfriend will be home in a week and on the warpath.


has never held down more than an entry-level​ job


Obvious that Chris gets a beatdown now, but it's funny seeing someone using this phrase to impugn a 19 year old.

sullat
Jan 9, 2012

cumshitter posted:

It's really annoying how companies like TurboTax lobby to make it more difficult to file taxes. The big tax companies will say it's free, but only if your taxes are basically reporting W-2/regular employment income. TurboTax is especially bad, because they will let you spend anywhere up to an hour entering everything and then at the end you'll get a popup saying something like "Whoops! Filing a 1099-Div is part of our Silver plan! Pay to upgrade now!" They even taunt you right as you're entering your info saying that if you're a gold member they'll automatically enter your info from the previous year, which is essentially giving them money to copy/paste poo poo from their database.

I mostly advise people to use CreditKarma's service for federal filing and keep an instance of TurboTax running in a separate browser tab if your taxes aren't complicated to need an accountant. TurboTax's system is more robust and has better explanations for the various things you're entering and you can just reference it against what you're entering on CreditKarma. Most states will also let you file free through the state franchise board's website if you're earning mid 5 figures or less and even then it's just a small filing fee.

Also there was an article about how the companies have a deal with the IRS; the IRS won't provide a system to file taxes as long as the companies provide an option for people to file for free if their income is below a certain threshold. The catch is that you can only access the free file systems through the IRS website; if you googled "free tax filing" you would be directed to the non-free sites.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
I got banned from LinkedIn for shitposting intuit too much.

I really hate them and think their c-suite should be tried and executed. What they do is criminal.

DoctorWhat
Nov 18, 2011

A little privacy, please?

MarcusSA posted:

Is it also a no garbage disposal building?

Yes.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for losing weight before my sister's wedding?

quote:

I 28F used to be quite overweight, over the last year or so I have made many changes in my life and have successfully lost almost 100lbs. I don't live close to any of my family and don't post on social media so my family wasn't really aware of my weight loss. I did mention that I was making healthier choices but that's it. It's just that every time before that I've tried to lose weight it hasn't worked out so I didn't want anyone commenting on it.

My sister 26F got engaged last year and I'm super happy for her. Due to circumstances, the wedding had to be pushed back a little. It's happening a week from now and because I haven't seen everyone in so long I decided to come down two weeks earlier to help out and catch up. Well, when I came to see my family my sister freaked out upon seeing me. As it turns out she has gained a bit of weight not super noticeable to me she still looks great. But I think this is the first time in our lives that I'm smaller than her I've always been the "fat sister". She basically accused me of trying to upstage her and my parents are fully taking her side. I'm really not sure if I'm in the wrong here as so many of my family are taking her side of things.

AITA for losing weight before my sister's wedding?

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.
If anyone here needs spite to improve your life, please know that it will make me real mad irl.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for losing weight before my sister's wedding?

How in the loving making GBS threads hell are her parents taking her sister's side on this

What what what

Edit: oh obviously they're overweight too

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
You don't understand, it's her special super princess magic day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Brawnfire posted:

Edit: oh obviously they're overweight too

This is my guess. Doesn't live close to her family, doesn't talk to them on social media, refers to going to see her family as 'driving down' to them? Good odds she's Southern with a standard-issue white trash family who went to college further north and improved her life substantially.

The crab mentality is real.

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for losing weight before my sister's wedding?

Our society is so so hosed up on women's beauty norms

Lose weight!
You lost weight and now you're prettier than me, how dare you!
Wear makeup!
You're too eyecatching, don't wear makeup!
Dress a little sexier!
Too sexy, now you look slutty!

Like, does the patriarchy want women to look attractive, or not? I say we get rid of it either way, honestly.

spouse
Nov 10, 2008

When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.


Uncle Enzo posted:

Like, does the patriarchy want women to look attractive, or not?

You're supposed to look good, but you're supposed to be a little bit ashamed about it, and definitely not proud or particularly aware of it.

Also, your choice of makeup is either naturally beautiful or whoreish depending on whether or not you'll go out with me. Sorry, thems the rules.

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

You don't understand, it's her special super princess magic day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bride is in a weird position because unlike most of the random complaints we see (bridesmaid is wearing glasses AAACK!), a noticeable body transformation through effort of will is absolutely going to be a headline. She also can't get mad at it without being a huge douche.

The diplomatic solution is probably to expand the rehearsal dinner to anyone who would notice and let the oohs and ahhs come out then but maybe that also a very important special day!

Zurtilik
Oct 23, 2015

The Biggest Brain in Guardia
Overweight people get mad about skinny people a lot too. We've sure set up a real loving mess of a society.

Zurtilik
Oct 23, 2015

The Biggest Brain in Guardia
For reference I'm VERY fat. But it still annoys me when someone is like 160lbs and people are like "You're all skin and bones now Charles!"

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012
It’s an unwinnable game and OP deserves to do what she feels is healthiest for her, even if it includes losing some extra familial weight.

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

It's not unwinnable, if you're crazyyou care enough.

NO FUCK YOU DAD
Oct 23, 2008

Zurtilik posted:

My [26F] boyfriend [28M] of 4 years has a trove of WEIRD (like underage roleplaying/borderline furry websites) usernames/etc stretching back years where he is a girl in an Email account I have access to. My mind is reeling.


From what I've learned from the F Plus podcast and the SA Reddit thread, there is a huge cadre of weird internet dudes that aren't into catfishing young girls so much as mutually catfishing each other while pretending to be young girls.

I'm not sure that matters to the OP but it's probably the line between "holy poo poo call a therapist" and "holy poo poo call the cops".

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Soylent Pudding posted:

I recently hired a creative freelancer for a thing. The policies packet had a sentence "btw remember this code phrase form the contract". Then the contract itself had not only the "initial here to say you read the policies" box but asked for the code phrase from the policies packet. I thought it was a brilliant idea.

You're supposed do a name style anonymization for the code phrase :colbert:

spouse
Nov 10, 2008

When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.


AITA to have expectations for my stay at home wife?

quote:

Me (29M) and my wife (28F) have been married 2 years now, she has been unhappy in her job for a long time and talked to me about quitting. We would miss her paycheck but we would be okay on just mine. I'm a plumber by trade and make good money but it is backbreaking work.

I asked her what she is thinking of doing instead and for now she doesn't want to think about and just wants to leave her job. I asked if that means just lazing around and she said yes until she has it figured out.

I said I was not against the idea if she needed time off and to figure things out. I then said what does that mean for things around the house, she said obviously I will do a little more, I said little? And she said yes. I then flat out said if you are not working I think you need to do more than a little more. I said the cooking and cleaning would need to be on you, she didn't look happy with me and said all? I always cooked breakfast on the weekends and said I'm happy to still do that but everything else is on you, cooking, cleaning, and laundry. At that moment she stormed off and called me a rear end and has been avoiding me since.

I'm not a messy person if I use something I put it back if I spill or drop something I clean it up and I will always do that but am I a rear end to expect the housework to be done by my wife if she is not working?

AITA for not offering to buy my friend Kobe beef while in Japan?

quote:

this happened last year in the before times, and he occasionally brings it up and i just want some outside perspective.

last year my friend and I (both 26m at the time) went on a trip to Japan and Korea, but this story is more specifically about Japan. while making plans, we went with the "plan" of here's our accommodations, and here are the specific dates we need to remember in order to not miss flights, otherwise it was mostly just enjoying our time not in America.

while in Tokyo, Shinjuku district. we were looking for something to eat, and we found this moderately more upscale restaurant compared to the other establishments we've eaten at. when we walked into the restaurant, there was a statue, not just any statue, the statue that shows proof that this restaurant offers authentic Kobe beef, and the statue is a way to tell if the restaurant is lying or not.

we got seated and started looking through the menu, note: i did offer to buy him food since he bought food the night before, but that was festival stall food. he asked for a price point i said "hmmm around $60, sounds good?" he replies "ye man, respect". now, i do make more than him, and he's been my friend since Elementary school, so why not, i can spoil the guy.

the waitress came up and asked if we knew what we wanted to order, my friend says what wanted (well, he pointed at the image, but that's generally good enough for the server to know what he wanted) and she turns to me, and i flip to the back of the menu, with a whole one page dedicated to it and i pointed at the Kobe beef, which was 15,109 yen, or $145 USD. she wrote down the order and she went to go put in the order.

and to make a long story shorter, that steak was probably the best thing I've ever eaten. my mouth is watering just thinking about it. when we finished up I paid the bill (thankfully tipping culture in Japan doesn't exist, so i didn't also have to tip 15% ontop of the bill) and off we went to find another adventure.

since leaving the restaurant, my friend was definitely in a weird headspace, so i asked whats up, and he said that i embarrassed him, since he ordered a cheaper steak (around 5000 yen, so like $50usd) i made him look bad by ordering myself the most expensive steak they had. i asked him if he expected me to pay a Kobe steak for him too? because like... thats rediculous, it was an internal fight to myself if i really even wanted it. and he said if i told him i was going to pick the Kobe that he'd also want that and pay the difference back and that it was a not cool move and that i "robbed" him of the experience. bruh, i just paid for a $50 steak for you, humble yourself.

the rest of the trip was relatively low drama, but ever since then he occasionally brings it up by saying "man i sure wish i had some Kobe steak on our trip, next time" or "hey, remember when you robbed me from my only chance to eat real Kobe" and it's honestly starting to get on my nerves.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

spouse posted:

AITA to have expectations for my stay at home wife?

AITA for not offering to buy my friend Kobe beef while in Japan?

"I sure wish you'd gargle my nutsack, bruh"

rotinaj
Sep 5, 2008

Fun Shoe

spouse posted:


AITA for not offering to buy my friend Kobe beef while in Japan?

Motherfucker buy your own hundred and fifty dollar steak, there is no world where that is a reasonable ask

Anytime someone buys me food, I’m looking for the cheapest thing that isn’t an appetizer, because I feel bad someone else is shelling out for me, where do you get off guilt tripping someone for not buying you 150 dollars worth of capitalism bullshit

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Brawnfire posted:

How in the loving making GBS threads hell are her parents taking her sister's side on this

What what what

Edit: oh obviously they're overweight too

The OP

quote:

It was definitely a running joke during my teen years that I was the fat one and my sister was the skinny one.

The OP

quote:

Thats pretty much how its been for me my whole life. I had the worst relationship with food and I had no confidence in my looks at all. It took a while to break off from that mindset.

Dik Hz
Feb 22, 2004

Fun with Science

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

If anyone here needs spite to improve your life, please know that it will make me real mad irl.
I too post like an rear end in a top hat to generate self-improving spite in others. Y'all can thank me later.

MagusofStars
Mar 31, 2012



To those of you out there who’ve visited Japan and have money: Is Kobe beef really *that* much better than a normal high end steak? Or is it mostly marketing?

rotinaj posted:

Anytime someone buys me food, I’m looking for the cheapest thing that isn’t an appetizer, because I feel bad someone else is shelling out for me
Personally, I usually just ahead and order whatever I would have ordered normally, as though its coming out of my pocket.

I don’t think you should abuse someone’s hospitality by getting the most expensive item, but I also don’t think you need to feel guilty and order the cheapest thing possible either.

Trapick
Apr 17, 2006

My favourite part of stories like the boudoir photo one is that there's now at least 1 photographer that definitely tells all clients "by the way, don't bring your kids along" and gets huge wtf looks for it.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

MagusofStars posted:

To those of you out there who’ve visited Japan and have money: Is Kobe beef really *that* much better than a normal high end steak? Or is it mostly marketing?


It’s pretty fuckin good yeah.

kalel
Jun 19, 2012

kntfkr posted:

I got banned from LinkedIn for shitposting intuit too much.

I really hate them and think their c-suite should be tried and executed. What they do is criminal.

are you referring to TurboTax lobbying against free federal tax returns? Or is there some other heinous poo poo they did? e: never mind, reading comprehension.

I like mint a lot though :kiddo:

kalel fucked around with this message at 18:08 on Oct 27, 2021

Serephina
Nov 8, 2005

恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

rotinaj posted:

Motherfucker buy your own hundred and fifty dollar steak, there is no world where that is a reasonable ask

Motherfucker read the post, his friend wanted to shell out for his own expensive steak. He's upset about being denied the opportunity to try something unique that his friend knew of but kept tight lipped about.

Mr. Fall Down Terror
Jan 24, 2018

by Fluffdaddy

MagusofStars posted:

To those of you out there who’ve visited Japan and have money: Is Kobe beef really *that* much better than a normal high end steak? Or is it mostly marketing?

kobe beef is firmly in the entire gourmet beef category where it is noticeably better than average steak, but i wouldn't say its better than other kinds of high end steak. prices get weird at that range and there's not much difference between a $100 and a $1000 steak except for presentation and backstory, but there is a massive difference between a $100 steak and a $10 steak. $10 steaks can be good for sure but high end beef is almost a different food entirely. there's other kinds of special beef in japan and it is equivalent to the $100+ steaks you can get in america. i think kobe is more suited to eating in non-steak form like sashimi but its still just rich gently caress beef

the op's friend didn't miss out on an irreplaceable opportunity to eat the angelic beef, he missed the opportunity to do so in shinjuku, with a friend, which is just tragic and he should have brought more money

e: oh it was a weird miscommunication, well they both hosed up i guess

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

MagusofStars posted:

To those of you out there who’ve visited Japan and have money: Is Kobe beef really *that* much better than a normal high end steak? Or is it mostly marketing?

Yes, it is incredible if you can get it. I was blessed to attend a comped meal where it was probably $1000 for seven people and one of the items was a kobe beef platter and it was one of the best things I've ever eaten. All other meat I've had has not compared.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Alchenar
Apr 9, 2008

Serephina posted:

Motherfucker read the post, his friend wanted to shell out for his own expensive steak. He's upset about being denied the opportunity to try something unique that his friend knew of but kept tight lipped about.

Yeah but he had the option when the waiter was standing right there of saying 'OH ACTUALLY' and changing his order.

Both of them are a bit dumb and did not communicate. If you are shouting each other's meals on the daily on the assumption that it will all even out by the end of the trip then you should probably say something if this meal you intend to step outside of the mutually understood price range. (OP's friend is the dumber one because it's his own fault he missed out)

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply