Scaevolus posted:

If you dig into it the risks are essentially nil apart from shellfish (e. coli) and some high-mercury fish, to the point that there are probably worse outcomes from pregnant women being too scared to eat fish and missing out on various beneficial nutrients.

trickybiscuits posted:

Let's see what estranged parents are up to!

Sometimes after reading these things I feel like my brain is bleeding.

Barudak posted:

most modern boy bands out of Korea and China and such have designated roles that are publicly stated like "the singer" "the rapper" "the dancer" "the interviewer" and "the gimmick" so I feel like young men should figure out which of these archetypes they align with.

quote:

Dear Prudence,

I used to volunteer 4-to-5 hours a week at a local food bank. Mostly stock shelving and bookkeeping related stuff. It felt good to help out, there is a definite need, and I was working with like-minded good people, or so I thought. Towards last May, somehow politics came up, and I mentioned how I never vote in presidential elections because I believe the electoral college system is fundamentally unfair, since the individual voter’s fraction of an electoral college vote differs from state to state. I also added that I did vote for a republican in the congressional representative role and for two of the local political candidates, for fiscal policy reasons.

Two days later I got an email saying to never come back, that they did not wish to associate with conspiracy theorists, and they were glad that I was never front-facing. I worked with these people for years and somehow my “conspiracy theories” never came up, probably because they do not exist.

Since then, I’ve had extra time on my hands. And I know that I ought to find somewhere else in a similar role to volunteer, get back on the community outreach and help wagon again. I still think it’s important, and there is still a definite need. Every time I think about it, I lose all energy to continue and get angry about how idiotically tribalistic they were at the place I used to help at. And it’s been close to six months and I still haven’t gotten around to it, even though I keep telling myself “yeah, I should start again soon.” How do I regain my motivation?

— Trying to Regain the Spark

quote:

Dear Regain the Spark,

To regain motivation, think about the impact you hope your volunteer work will have for the people served by the organizations you volunteer for. Also pay attention to the key word in “volunteer work”: work! The goal isn’t to have fun or be treated nicely. You’re doing it (hopefully) so that fewer people go hungry, not to be validated by your colleagues. Also, if you’re able to regain your energy and get involved again, mentally prepare yourself for a not-so-great reaction if you advertise that you make political choices in support of candidates and policies that many in the social services world will view as making life worse for the very people everyone’s trying to help. Indeed, good “fiscal policy” from your point of view might very well mean fewer resources and more suffering for them. That’s something you’re not going to be able to avoid, so it may be best to sidestep the subject entirely.

DemoneeHo posted:

I got fired from volunteering at a food bank. How do I get my motivation to volunteer back?

I'm going to refrain from going too cspammy here about my thoughts on politicians, dem or repub. And there's a lot of assumptions about who they voted for. But uh, I don't think you can still be a good charity worker while voting republican.

quote:

I've been stroking for an hour n temperature inside my abdomen was rising to a point that I had to cool it down.

It that normal? How can I control the heat while masturbating?

Edit: thought I should share this too, I feel like a dragon at those times n obviously, no fire. Just the heat. It's winter so I can see the fog/steam coming out of my mouth when I exhale through my mouth.

quote:

This happened a couple of months back as have many of these stories...

A little bit of back story is that I love the theme music to Crash Bandicoot to the point where I have the some of the music saved to my favourites on Spotify.

Now what happened is possibly the most embarrassing thing that can happen on a first date with a girl and I'd like to caution everyone reading to check which playlist you play during sexy time.

Me and this girl who I'd been talking to for a while on a dating website finally had a first date together and it all went really well. We really hit it off. So much so that we went back to my place for the 'after date'.

Before beginning she suggested that we play some music during sex, this is a little different to something I would normally do but I went along with it for her. I picked my favourite playlist and began with her. The music was good and romantic... At first...

Once she began to give me a handjob the playlist began to play the Hog Ride theme from the first Crash Bandicoot game which for those unaware is a fast redneck type track.

She then proceeded to give me the dirtiest look possible (not the good kind) and grab her stuff to leave calling me a dirty freak in the meantime (also not the good type).

After this I've learnt to always check what music is in my playlists before sexy time.

quote:

This happened a while ago. I was working at a restaurant in a fairly small town in Illinois. Me and 4 of my coworkers were just standing around talking because the restaurant was dead at the time. There was a new girl there who I had a crush on but didn't really know all that well yet. She was a bit younger than me and lived in a town that was about 10 minutes away from the town where we were working. We'll call her hometown Countryville. Countryville was even smaller than the small town that we were in. The town basically consisted of a gas station, a park, and several mobile home communities. Young naive me thought that the best way to flirt with a girl that you liked was by poking fun and teasing them. I had been giving her a hard time for a while and she was always good at laughing it off and dishing the insults back out to me. Standing in the group, I casually asked the new girl what she did over the weekend. She bashfully said "oh not much really". And one of the other girls said "that's not true, you were crowned queen of Countryville". See, all of the little podunk towns in rural Illinois have some sort of carnival days once a year with music and rides and beauty pageants and stuff. I guess Countryville's carnival days had been that weekend and she had won their little beauty pageant thing. I quickly tried to think of a whitty funny response to her just being crowned queen of Countryville. My friends had been watching Dane Cook's standup routine the night before and I just blurted out "Queen of Countryville?? That's like being elected the coolest kid with down syndrome". The whole room got silent and everyone was looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding car. I was starting to get nervous and was wondering why everyone wasn't laughing. After what felt like an eternity, the new girl broke the silence and just said "my sister has down syndrome". She then turned around and left the room. This moment was the single worst moment of my life. The rest of the group left behind her without saying a word other than her friend who whispered "real smooth" on her way out the door. I'm not going to lie, this is the point where I cried... alone. I was later informed that her and her whole family, including her younger sister, had been to the restaurant just a few nights prior when I had been enjoying a night off. Her little sister got a tour of the restaurant and got to meet everyone working that night. I was also informed that one of the reasons the new girl was crowned queen of Countryville was because of all the work that she did for various charities centered around down syndrome. I later gave my most sincere apology, which she accepted graciously, but needless to say, nothing was ever quite the same after that.

quote:

My wife (42F) and I (45M) were having dinner with our only son (23M) two weeks ago. We're celebrating the fact that he got into one of the top ten Phd programs for physics. We were having dinner with each other at our house.

My son has no past issues. He's smart, social, caring, and hard working boy. He has a good set of friends and an amazing girlfriend. I am just completely shocked at what happened.

The Argument: Both of us were congratulating him on his achievement and told him how we were so proud of the fact he was the first to get a phd in the entire family. He said thanks as usual. My wife reminded him to make it a priority to maintain contact with us when moves to start his Phd. For some he just snapped at that moment. He stopped eating for a moment and with a stern look he asked "why". I didn't know why he waske angry I just wanted to defuse a potential fight and jokingly said "cause we're your parents silly". Then he said "well your job is done now, you don’t need to be bothered me, you have more time for each other now." His mom asked what's the matter. He said he doesn't understand why does he have to force himself to maintain contact with his parents who loved each other more than him. We were shocked and asked what makes him think like that. He went on his rant. And said we may love him but he was mostly a job for us that we needed breaks from. He mentioned up till starting college in the three to four vacations of two to the three weeks we take in a year, we mostly went without him and "dumped him at our parents places" ( it's true though most of our trips have been as couples since the beginning). This isn’t his first time bringing it up.) He mentioned for majority of the weekends we had we looked forward to our date nights more than spending time with him. He said he felt that while we did love him he was always at the backseat of our relationship. I told him needed our own couple time too. He said that he understood that but it seemed for him that moments of fun we always preferred to spend it as a couple. The major thing that kicked me in the balls was when he said one of the major reasons he enjoyed college is that he longer needed us for emotional support. He said he enjoyed spending time with his friends than spending time with us. He said that's wht he wanted to dorm for his four years. Before he left, he said he was tired of being part of a family that placed him second when it came to love, especially when it wasn't his choice and he wanted to equally loved. He left dinner that night without a goodbye and hasn't contacted us since then. Me and his mom were bawling our eyes out everyday since then. We can't sleep at night at all. The worst part is that since he doesn’t need us financially anymore he can cut us out his life with no drawbacks.

Did we mess up with him as parents? In our eyes we did everything we're supposed to as parents. We loved him, fed him, sheltered him, paid for his tuition, and spend time with him (apparently not enough). Forgive me if I didn't articulate myself properly, it's hurts righting this. What should we do? Did we go wrong? Advice is needed. Thank you all

quote:

UPDATE
It just last Friday, my wife and I just came in physical contact with our son. A lot of stuff has happened between the time we last him storming out on us during dinner and meeting him last Friday. First week we kept calling our son five times a day and leave him three voicemails daily. We never heard him pick up the phone. Within the second week his girlfriend picked up his phone one day and told us he living with her at her apartment but doesn't want to see us. She told us to give him time to cool down. Meanwhile our lives at home was getting screwed over. The first couple of weeks, all of our energy was put into getting into contact with him and visit us. We knew where his girlfriend lived and my wife wanted to make personal visit but I warned her showing up at his doorstep uninvited is only going to make the situation worse. We called our family members to persuade him to talk to us. It didn't matter if we had his grandparents, aunts, uncles, to call him but his response was politely telling them he is willing to talk to them about anything but us and apologized if he inconvenienced them. We realized our method wasn't working. We decided to go for counseling and therapy for not only for trying to reconnect with him but to also process our emotions through the difficult times. We slowly stopped overwhelming him with our attempts to contact him. Both our counselor suggested we respect his boundaries and let him make the first move. So we decided to leave a voicemail to his phone that we will bothering him but our door is always to him. These three months was painful to say the least. Our sex life decreased significantly. There was time my wife started crying in the middle of it since it reminded her of the time we let him cry out his nightmare when he was 3 years old but still didn’t let him enter our room because we were in the middle of having sex and we wanted to finish. We didn't go on any date nights or outside of the house for that fatter. My wife and I became homebodies. A lot of guilt was was plaguing us. That guilt led to a time of introspection. We started doing research on family dynamics during our spare time. We asked questions to ourselves such as: Did we spend enough time with him? Did he feel like a burden to our relationship? Were we wrong to put our relationship first over a relationship with him?

We wanted to be aware what was going on his life so we used to follow him on social media. We checked his facebook page everyday.That was big mistake. We found out that he proposed to his girlfriend last month and she said yes. We found out through a post on his facebook page. Yes that's right. We, the parents, found out the engagement of our only child through loving facebook. Jesus loving Christ. As if we weren't already in enough pain. We were stuck in the same cycle again for the past until he finally reached out to us. We got a call from our son this past Monday. and it was like a positive sign from the Universe. He said he wanted talk about our relationship. He asked if he could come to our house this Thursday with his girlfriend for support. We obviously said a resounding yes. We anxious I didn't expect it to be a tearful reunion but definitely a good step in reconciliation. My wife and I discussed with each other about how to lead the conversation. We both agreed to apologize any anguish we caused and to listen to what he has to say first. When came this Thursday. We sat impatiently waiting for him after we came back from work.

When he ranged the doorbell and he opened the, there was no sense of warmth from him but a reluctant smile. His girlfriend almost felt sad being here. I had a feeling that night. They both refused any drinks we offered to them. My son felt extremely uncomfortable being there. My wife told him that if he wanted to speak first that he should.

This is what he said to us: He apologized to us if he caused us any emotional turmoil. He said his resentment started building up ever since he was little. There were alot about our behavior that contributed to his point of view. He felt like having kids was more of a checklist that we wanted to complete instead of being actively interested in being a parents and having a deep bond as a parent. He said that whenever there was a disagreement with one of us that had always take each other sides over his. It felt like there was an us vs him type family dynamic. Whenever we came back home from work we looked forward to seeing each other than him. When it came to spending time with him it felt like doing stuff with him was physically and emotionally draining with him. Like we needed a break from him after having a break with him. One on one time felt like it was even more taxing to us according to him. He also said that there were time we wanted to spend with each other He also said that we lit up when we wanted to spend time as a couple. He said that we made that we put more effort into having our date nights and couple time than spending time with him. He said we seemed more upset when we couldn't have couple time over having family time. The fact that we spent our vacation as a couple than as a family compounded the problem. He found it bizarre when we claimed we missed him after he came back from our trips. When he was young he cried when we showed him pictures of our trips. We comforted by saying we love him but we need our couple time. He said that even made hime more upset.

He felt like we were using our parents (his grandparents) as our impromptu babysitters. He said that this feeling was further corroborated when visits significantly decreased when he grew older. He said he gave up on having a relationship on us when he entered high school. He said he put more effort and time into his academics so he could use his energy in a more productive manner than on us.

He said it didn't come as a surprise we didn't notice because we never formed a close bound with him to notice such things. He said his academics and friendships satisfied him more than spending time with us. Eventually we were just roommates to him. He became apathetic when we didn't spend time with him and turned us down many times. We always thought he was too busy for us. He said that his bond with us weakened even more during college. He never missed us and he got annoyed when we asked to meet him and complain about him not calling us often. He said he cried sometimes because he felt guilty of not missing us. He also said one of the reasons he did well in his academics was because he wanted to do well in other aspects in his life such as following his passion in his physics and he wanted to lead a happy life with us barely or entirely out of it.

That's when he started tearing up at that moment. It still hurts him that the reason he successful is today because he wanted to get away from us. He said he felt free when he went to college and now he is soon going to grad school this fall on the other side of the country. The past few months. he realized alot of new things.

He concluded by stating what wants for the future. He said he is very grateful for what we did for him such as paying for college. He will financially support us if we ever need it or be present when an emergency or family crisis occurs. Aside from that, we are not a priority in his life at all. We shouldn't be demanding phone calls and or him visiting us anymore. He said he shouldn't be forced to maintain a strong relationship with us but we never cultured it while we raised him. He states that family or not, an adult isn't obligated to have and maintain a relationship with any other adult. He said he was stuck in a relationship with us he didn't want to have until he became independent. He no longer regrets his decision. He said in the end of the day we chose to be his parents not the other way around. We could have found ways to bond him and find common ground and stuff to do with him so it didn't feel like a burden to be a parent to him. We never incorporated him in our lives and saw being a parent akin to a job. We had every opportunity to form that close bond with him and we never took it. Before he left he said he wished us a happy and healthy life for us and we're invited to his wedding if we want to come.

Time froze after he left and we were flabbergasted to what happened. It was like he divorced us. My door is always open to him and I hope one day he can forgive us for the way we treated him. However, I don't how to move on with this possibly permanent estrangement. Any suggestion? Thank for reading this. Writing this alleviated my anxiety a little bit. Jack, I still love you son. Please come back. I'm sorry.

Update: There is so much judgement from you guys. I believe that the spouse comes first. Your kids eventually will leave you but the spouse stays with you till the end. I maybe didn't have a proper balance, but no parent is perfect. I need help to get him to understand that we love him and we're sorry.

nvidiagouge posted:

That whole post sounds like it was actually written by someone imagining themselves as the son.

Thumbtacks posted:

Did we mess up with our son? He blew up at us during dinner + UPDATE

ORIGINAL by u/worrieddad27

Uncle Enzo posted:

You just gotta practice! You also have to keep in mind what a huge door-opener potty training is. Like, imagine how you would feel if your child has a medical condition that meant they had to wear diapers their whole life. That's not the case! Your child can live a normal life wearing regular clothes! You'll be able to stop carrying diapers pretty soon!

Reminds me of our first ultrasound with our first. The tech did a cross-section of the baby's head and the tech is like "well, the baby has a brain" and I was like nice. Tech was kinda puzzled until I explained "hey, some babies don't, right? You need a brain, I'm really happy my kid has one."

Thumbtacks posted:

Did we mess up with our son? He blew up at us during dinner + UPDATE

ORIGINAL by u/worrieddad27

Kurieg posted:

Yeah, them volunteering that one time when their son was 3 they ignored his crying because they were too busy having sex seems... real weird?

Zurtilik posted:

Heat while stroking

tifu by receiving a handjob to some Crash Bandicoot theme music

TIFU by quoting Dane Cook

nvidiagouge posted:

The son is also written kind of as the hero, too. Always keeps his cool, is smug, etc.

It reminds me of self-insert fan fic.

quote:

We have two kids.

My daughter calls weekly but lives across the country.

My son isn't very close he calls only once every two months. He only visits for Thanksgiving with his wife for three days at best. He only lives 20 minutes away.

When we confronted him he admitted he was jealous of our relationship. He said we didn't but he felt like we loved each other more than we loved him. He said we spent more one-on-one time with each other than with him. He complained how we took each other side during an argument and we gave each other more attention to him. He also said he felt like a third wheel at home.

My daughter felt we were just fine parents and would be even totally fine if we actually loved each other more than we loved the kids.

I feel bad how we made him felt. It's too late to change anything.

But how come our marriage doesn't compensate for this feeling of loneliness? We are still crazy for each other just like the day we met each other. We still have sex and are intimate with each other. Why the gently caress can't we stop thinking about the relationship with our son? I literally jumped with excitement just for getting a phone call from him for my birthday and then cried uncontrollably realizing that's the only I will get from him. There have been other incidents. My wife was talking to her friend who told her son was planning on her annual trip with just her son to Brisbane. My wife cried and she said "This is such bullshit! She gets to have a happy marriage with a son who adores her. They do loving mother-son trips when I can't even have him all to myself for one day!"

I know we should focus more on our own relationship and let our kids but we just can't. I loving wish my daughter lived by so she could visit us. My daughter and son in law suggested we move close to them. My wife and I literally cried tear of joy and sorrow at the same time.

Our empty nest was supposed to be our golden years. It was so much fun in the beginning. We had sex whenever we want. Took amazing romantic trips and getaways. We went out for dinner everyday.

And I know this makes me an awful husband but I give that all up just have my son for dinner for a week.

How do I let go for the sake of my marriage?

quote:

My boyfriend said he is disgusted by my family.

We have been dating for 2 years. He finally met my family. I thought it went well but my boyfriend works in Sales and has an excellent poker face. He was incredibly quiet when we drove home.

I asked him if he liked my parents and he ignored it. I asked again and he said he had had suspicions which now has been confirmed. He said my family was disgusting and it was tragic that I couldn't see it. He said it was hosed up how they treated my sister??? He only talked to her for 10 minutes. I don't know why he is so concered about her?

I really didn't understand what he meant by that I asked him to explain. He looked really distressed and said we would talk later. I dropped it and later that night he said that he was really starting to question the relationship and He loved me but he couldn't marry someone who couldn't recognise the balant favouritism and he was scared of raising his children in a similar situation to his own.

I'm heart broken? I don't even understand what is happening here. I have never seen him this angry and this

TLDR : My boyfriend met my family. He blew up at me and said he may break up with me.

quote:

Husband and I were married at 19, and officially divorced at 45. 5 years ago.

Before the divorce was finalized I was given a lump sum payment, and he was ordered to pay me several thousand dollars a month every month for 26 years.

He wants me to start giving the money back, to please his fiancé. Since she apparently sees it as him, “keeping a connection with his ex”. And money that he should be, “spending on his future instead of his past”. But it’s court ordered so I don’t understand the logic there.

And honestly I don’t really want to. In fact - I already said I wasn’t going too. And that is in part due to the fact that I’d like to give him another ‘F-U’ while I have the chance. Basically it’s just to spite him.

And my sister says that Im wrong for not moving on. Since he’s already paid me enough money in the last 5 years to retire on. Not to mention the initial lump sum.

Edit: divorce was initiated by him after he decided his personal assistant would make a better partner than me.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to “stop accepting” alimony from my ex husband, even if it’s putting a strain on his current relationship?

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to “stop accepting” alimony from my ex husband, even if it’s putting a strain on his current relationship?

Thumbtacks posted:

Did we mess up with our son? He blew up at us during dinner + UPDATE


He mentioned up till starting college in the three to four vacations of two to the three weeks we take in a year,

Thumbtacks posted:

i would put money on his new fiance being his office assistant

quote:

My long-time boyfriend (19M) and I (18F) have been dating for two years.

Recently he enrolled into the Marines and now we’re long distance dating. Every six months he gets about two weeks of leave. However, this will be continuous for five years.

I’m absolutely infatuated with him and love everything about him, which makes it hard during those six months. I’m worried about him wanting something new or fresh in his love life, as I’m absolutely set on waiting for how long I need to.

But I tend to overthink: I do struggle with my self-esteem, but I keep it in check as to not bother him. What should I ask him if he is sure I’m the one he wants to be with for the rest of his life without seeming overwhelming or overbearing?

TL;DR - I’m in love with my boyfriend, but being so young I worry that he may crave something or someone new in his love life.

quote:

I was about to break up with my bf a month ago. He kept referring to things as “gay” and nonchanlantly refers to people as “faggots”. I also caught him using the n word as well. Told him I didn’t like, and he said he would stop. His excuse for using this language was because it’s been a habit since he was a kid, and also because it’s Marine language. With this being said, he is away in a different state for Marine training. When we FaceTime, he lets these words slip. I haven’t heard him say the n-word though. But it still seems like he says the other words behind my back.

Also, he doesn’t want me to be a model (bikini and lingerie). He said, “If you’re okay with showing yourself to the world and not saving yourself for me than maybe we’re not compatible” and “I’m just trying to have our bodies and sexual image reserved for just us.” He just seems very possessive. When we were FaceTiming, I literally saw him zoom into a pic of a sexy model’s rear end through the reflection of his glasses. I didn’t tell him what I saw. But it doesn’t bother me because it was only once, and I’m not insecure about it. So he can stare at sexy girls online, but I can’t pose bikini or lingerie?

Just thinking about breaking up at this point...any advice?

TLDR; Bf uses offensive language behind my back when he knows I don’t like it- and he doesn’t want me to become a model because he wants my body to be for his eyes only, but I’ve literally seen him looking at pics of other models. Any advice and should we break up?

quote:

I have been seeing by boyfriend since September 2015. We quickly fell for eachother and before I knew it we were texting all day/ every day, and I found myself over at his house mostly every night. Here we are in 2017 and not much has changed. As you can imagine we have spoke about intimate and very personal things... Tonight he dropped something on me that shocked me! He told me he was involved in a "contract marriage" while he was in the marines.

Back to when we first met... We spoke a lot about our age difference. (he was 29 when we met and I was 20.) I remember asking him very specifically when we first met had he been married or if he had kids. It was a solid no. I haven't thought anything about that until tonight.

We were chit chatting on the couch tonight like we normally do... Then the conversation shifts to a topic that isn't spoke about a lot- his time in the military. Sure, I knew basic things about this part of his life like how many tours he did in Iraq, ect but that was about it. Well he was really letting it all loose with me tonight. He was talking about how miserable he was, but also telling me some funny things that happened. He then started talking about how the higher up people (sorry I'm not familiar with terminology here) didn't like him. I was so happy to be learning about this time in his life that I was asking tons of questions... So I asked him why they didn't like him. He gave me a few reasons before saying, "mostly they were pissed I was in a contract marragie and I was getting paid more than them... They also were telling me they knew what I was doing, but I let them know that they couldn't prove love and as far as they knew that was my wife." What the actual gently caress.

I am so upset how this could be failed to be mentioned to me... Not that I care he's been married, but that he lied to be and didn't tell me for a year and a half into our relationship. I also can't wrap my mind around how someone could do something so wrong. Marriage without love to me is just wrong... Not to mention that was illegal as hell. I just didn't see him doing something like that.

After my hour long drive home from his house I am just going crazy. I have a bad habit of changing the subject when I'm uncomfortable... Which I did with this. I feel like I want to know more though... Should I bring this back up? If so, how? Is this a major thing to be left out about him? Now I'm just wondering what else he's left out about his life... Is this normal?

Tl;dr; S/O of 1.5 told me he was involved in a contract marriage back in 2005 and divorced after his last tour in Iraq.

quote:

My gf 'Ali' and I both come from bad homes. We both reacted poorly as adults, she did porn professionally and I enlisted in the Marines. We both developed substance abuse problems. We both left our respective careers and have tried to clean up.

We met through our rehab programs for substance abuse problems last year and started dating shortly afterwards. We both want to get better. Ali is a cook at a local restaurant, I'm now a car mechanic. Last week we celebrated my first year sober. We're talking about getting a cat.

I'm still feeling out my relationship with my family after my abusive bio dad died while I was overseas and my mom remarried. I don't know her husband well, and I want to make a good impression. When I celebrated my first year sober I included Ali in my photos as my girlfriend, the first time I've mentioned her to my family.

My brother called me a few days ago to congratulate me and discuss Thanksgiving plans. It's the first time I'll have seen my family since I started rehab. While we were bullshitting on the phone my brother joked about how Ali looked just like a certain porn actress he used to like.

Ali is that actress. My brother said her stage name. She doesn't dye her hair anymore, and she's at a healthy weight now, but it's easy to recognize her as the same person.

We're not sure what to do. Ali isn't ashamed of her past to me, we both hosed up pretty hard. She doesn't want my brother telling anyone, but we agree that he's going to recognize her and maybe tell my mom and stepdad.

Advice?

tl;dr: planning Thanksgiving with family I haven't been close to, brother recognized my gf as a former porn actress, don't want brother to tell family, don't know how to go about it

quote:

Long story short I have been using an online dating profile for about a year. About 3 days ago, for the first time ever, I started talking to someone and there was a click and we could hold an actual conversation. We have a lot of interests in common and I was excited to maybe meet him in person (also something Ive never done)

This was until he gave me his last name so I could creep his facebook, that's when I saw that he supports Donald Trump.

I just... I don't know if I can take him seriously anymore. I asked him about it and he sent a 15 page text defending his view. He said that since he was a marine for 8 years and his number one priority is our citizens, he thinks trump would wipe the deficit and that needs to come before social issues. After he wipes the deficit he wants to see trump impeached and Sanders in for the social issues.

I honestly don't know who I am supporting or voting for, I just know there is no loving way in hell it's Donald Trump. I told him I respectfully disagree though I did see his point but I couldn't get behind it for 1,000,000 moral reasons. He then sends like 5 more pages of text about how he's liberal and the deficit is a problem and lets just not talk about politics.

Guys. I just don't know.

What do you think?

I mean....maybe just sex?Im so lonely haha..

But...there's got to be other people for that

EDIT/UPDATE: Thank you so much. I didn't know if I was being irrational for writing off a guy for his political choice. I haven't dated for a lonnnng time. Thank you for the quick and hilarious comments for the wake up call. I will not pursue this any further. I will respect myself and not sleep with or continue to talk to this guy. On to the next!

TLDR: Met boy online. Prior to meeting in person found out he's on the Trump wagon. I just don't know about it.

Cythereal posted:

Trying to deal with my (29M) family learning that my gf (28F) did porn

quote:

I 25f was super into this guy 28m until I found something out that I'm not sure if I can get past. Thoughts?
He said that since he was a marine for 8 years and his number one priority is our citizens, he thinks trump would wipe the deficit and that needs to come before social issues. After he wipes the deficit he wants to see trump impeached and Sanders in for the social issues.

Cythereal posted:

I 25f was super into this guy 28m until I found something out that I'm not sure if I can get past. Thoughts?

Thumbtacks posted:

Did we mess up with our son? He blew up at us during dinner + UPDATE

ORIGINAL by u/worrieddad27

cumshitter posted:

Taking the deficit to $0 means paying off every treasury bond in existence, which also means giving a lot of money to China, among other countries (Japan actually owns the most US debt, which is fun to bring up when someone is raging about China). It would also have the side affect of loving with a lot of pensions and other retirement programs in addition to absolutely rocking the bond market as everyone who is paid back tries to plow that money into other investments.

Not like that's a big deal since this guy has a child's understanding of the government and how it works.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

Ive never understood why people say that politics aren't important enough to choose friends and family based on. You mean how our entire society is run and what the law of the land is? What the hell could be more important then that?

Tetramin posted:

the “spouse comes first” poo poo

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

spouse posted:

Not that he probably knew the difference, but wouldn't the deficit mean simply balancing the federal budget to be net $0 rather than negative? Bringing the national debt to $0 would be paying everyone back.

cumshitter posted:

Lol that kid basically had an exit interview with his parents. He should send them both invites to connect on LinkedIn and leave reviews for them.

Taking the deficit to $0 means paying off every treasury bond in existence, which also means giving a lot of money to China, among other countries (Japan actually owns the most US debt, which is fun to bring up when someone is raging about China). It would also have the side affect of loving with a lot of pensions and other retirement programs in addition to absolutely rocking the bond market as everyone who is paid back tries to plow that money into other investments.

Not like that's a big deal since this guy has a child's understanding of the government and how it works.

Also my favorite libertarian video about the US Debt is the cartoon that starts off with the guy's dog being repossessed by the banks or something. His cool friend arrives in a time traveling DeLorean to explain finance to him, and then halfway through suddenly robotic tentacled Rothschild family crests attack. Just a totally abrupt transition into thinly veiled anti-Semitism.

Cythereal posted:

My boyfriend [31m] of 1.5 years just told me[21f] he was involved in a "contract marriage" while in the Marine Corps.

quote:

Not to mention that was illegal as hell

quote:

"mostly they were pissed I was in a contract marragie and I was getting paid more than them... They also were telling me they knew what I was doing, but I let them know that they couldn't prove love and as far as they knew that was my wife."

Halloween Jack posted:

When people say that we need to reduce the debt/deficit, what they mean is that they want to cut social spending. Of course they have no understanding of the actual accounting involved.