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Jedit posted:Five'll get you ten that he used a dildo in the planning of that scene. I wouldn't rule out them being his teeth, either. You think he planned it???
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Oct 31, 2021 09:33
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Perhaps he is a skeleton.
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Oct 31, 2021 09:38
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Miftan posted:You think he planned it??? Yeah that not only reads like someone who has never had sex, it reads like someone who has never even seen porn. It's the kind of poo poo kids tell each other on the playground about all the sex they're definitely having with their girlfriend from the school two towns over, you wouldn't know her but she's really fit.
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Oct 31, 2021 09:41
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Miftan posted:You think he planned it??? Frantically typing away in his notes app on a playground bench
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Oct 31, 2021 09:42
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there's certaintly an undercurrent of Cronenbergian body horror present in that entire passage. somehow i doubt its on purpose
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Oct 31, 2021 09:43
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Given the cop26 chat: right now we're at 13+GW of wind power, 6GW nuclear, 2GW biofuel and just 3GW of fossil fuel (10%).
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Oct 31, 2021 09:47
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goddamnedtwisto posted:Yeah that not only reads like someone who has never had sex, it reads like someone who has never even seen porn. It's the kind of poo poo kids tell each other on the playground about all the sex they're definitely having with their girlfriend from the school two towns over, you wouldn't know her but she's really fit. He's trying to be arty, with that big run on sentence and absurd imagery. He just has no loving clue what he's doing
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Oct 31, 2021 09:48
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And the penis came out and I saw the penis and the penis looked at me.
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Oct 31, 2021 09:53
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smellmycheese posted:The best way to annoy Coren is to make even the slightest reference to the fact that despite being a talentless, nasty, stupid, Coke-addled hack he’s got where he is thanks to his Dad. It drives him absolutely crazy with rage He's the Piers to Victoria's Jeremy.
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Oct 31, 2021 10:02
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Alctel posted:it's the 'rattling on her teeth' that does it for me The boner, famously, is so named because the erect penis is a bone.
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Oct 31, 2021 10:11
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In a lot of animals it is, humans are a little odd in that we do not come with penis bones as standard.
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Oct 31, 2021 10:13
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OwlFancier posted:In a lot of animals it is, humans are a little odd in that we do not come with penis bones as standard. Well yeah but most of them have tiny dicks. Except for the humble barnacle though, nature's greatest Grower
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Oct 31, 2021 10:17
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Considering what we know about the british upper crust it is entirely possible that giles coren does have a penis bone and may also be genetically a barnacle.
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Oct 31, 2021 10:18
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OwlFancier posted:In a lot of animals it is, humans are a little odd in that we do not come with penis bones as standard. Concerned by the way you add as standard on the end there. Is there something you’d like to share with the class?
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Oct 31, 2021 10:20
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"Let me show you how to write a sec scene, son" said Alan Coren as his prosthetic penis bone rattled on its cable ties.
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Oct 31, 2021 10:27
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Red Oktober posted:Concerned by the way you add as standard on the end there. All I'm saying is that I have learned enough about sounding from this thread that I am sure someone has found a way.
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Oct 31, 2021 10:29
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That disease where flesh literally calcifies into bone but it only affects the dick
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Oct 31, 2021 10:37
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Gonzo McFee posted:He's the Piers to Victoria's Jeremy. I thought you were talking about Clarkson and Morgan there for a minute, and the analogy still almost works
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Oct 31, 2021 10:43
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Idk how the person in that Coren piece can simultaneously grab for a dick and scratch someone's back with both hands but I guess I'm no advanced sex-haver
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Oct 31, 2021 11:18
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It's pretty easy when their dick is rolling up and down their back spraying jizz everywhere like the big brush on an automatic car wash.
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Oct 31, 2021 11:25
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Speaking of Clarkson (edit: Speaking of penises,) I started watching that Clarksons Farm show on the (sort-of) recommendation of another poster in this thread. Thoughts: Clarkson continues to be a really good entertainer despite being a horrible person full of poo poo opinions Farming is hard. Like I already knew it was probably hard but gently caress me, the life of a farmer is totally alien to me and I think I'd sooner die than work a farm, my god. And that's with all the automation! I wish the show's 'antagonist' (advisor who knows about all bureaucracy) would explain why certain (often EU) rules exist rather than just stating them and then letting Clarkson (and by extension the audience) having something to whinge about before carrying on
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Oct 31, 2021 11:33
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JeremoudCorbynejad posted:I wish the show's 'antagonist' (advisor who knows about all bureaucracy) would explain why certain (often EU) rules exist rather than just stating them and then letting Clarkson (and by extension the audience) having something to whinge about before carrying on That would be completely antithetical to everything about Clarkson though.
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Oct 31, 2021 11:37
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Miftan posted:You think he planned it??? If playing the scene out in F.A.T.A.L. counts as planning, yes.
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Oct 31, 2021 12:07
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Cold War Steve is on point again https://twitter.com/Coldwar_Steve/status/1454759328502665220
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Oct 31, 2021 12:08
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Nenonen posted:If playing the scene out in F.A.T.A.L. counts as planning, yes. Giles sighed as he loosened the string on his bag of D20s, the dice spilling out over the table like a loose shower head.
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Oct 31, 2021 12:11
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Roll for bathplug diameter.JeremoudCorbynejad posted:Farming is hard. Like I already knew it was probably hard but gently caress me, the life of a farmer is totally alien to me and I think I'd sooner die than work a farm, my god. And that's with all the automation! https://twitter.com/Botanygeek/status/1260839178432020480
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Oct 31, 2021 12:23
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Just a grow a bunch of weed in your attic and trade it for crops at the local farmers market
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Oct 31, 2021 12:26
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Failed Imagineer posted:Just a grow a bunch of weed in your attic and trade it for crops at the local farmers market That would require a guaranteed electricity supply though.
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Oct 31, 2021 12:31
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Nobody has yet tried it, you cannot prove there isn't an infinite demand for weed.
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Oct 31, 2021 12:31
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OwlFancier posted:Nobody has yet tried it, you cannot prove there isn't an infinite demand for weed. That's not entirely true. Oregon had too much weed at one point.
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Oct 31, 2021 12:34
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I "grow" nettles in the backyard, i also eat them.... 100% organically "farmed" and quite tasty. 
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Oct 31, 2021 12:52
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Guavanaut posted:Roll for bathplug diameter. Growing your own veg is awesome. The first year is the hardest as most people don't have a good compost going yet. But after that it gets better. And after months of work, you don't need to buy carrots for 2 weeks!
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Oct 31, 2021 12:59
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Mega Comrade posted:Growing your own veg is awesome. The first year is the hardest as most people don't have a good compost going yet. But after that it gets better. And after months of work, you don't need to buy carrots for 2 weeks! Or if you're my parents with their allotment, your kale comes in all at once and that's the only thing you're eating for the next month straight.
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Oct 31, 2021 13:16
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feedmegin posted:Or if you're my parents with their allotment, your kale comes in all at once and that's the only thing you're eating for the next month straight. I stayed in a friends' house for a couple of weeks while they were away. They are keen on kale. The kale had to be harvested while I was there. I detest kale. Every orifice of the fridge freezer was stuffed with megatons of kale. (not swinging or rattling). Unrelated: And now the clocks went back it is going to be dark by 17:15 round here. (Sunset at 16:44). How depressing. I wish we had double or even treble summer time all year round. A long light evening is much more valuable than a light morning before I'm even awake anyway. Jaeluni Asjil fucked around with this message at 13:22 on Oct 31, 2021 |
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Oct 31, 2021 13:19
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I wonder if there's any value in tracking when "GAME OFF" trends on Twitter as a proxy indicator for climate change. Like normally you see a flurry of them between late November and early April and the occasional localised burst throughout the year, but this Sunday there's games off for waterlogged pitches literally all over the country, from Torquay to Ross County. I've never seen anything like it this early into winter,
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Oct 31, 2021 13:20
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Jaeluni Asjil posted:Unrelated: Totally with you on this. Give me more daylight in the evening please! And I say this as a totally-not-morning person who starts work early, I'd far rather drive to work in the dark than have the daylight end before I even get home. I think the EU in theory are moving towards abolishing the clock changing, leaving it up to members whether they want to stay on permanent normal or summer time. Which could be quite chaotic if the smaller countries round here (Benelux) choose differently... but I hope we stick with permanent summer time here. Stupidest and therefore most likely outcome: the EU does that, the UK doesn't, so the time difference changes twice a year 
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Oct 31, 2021 13:35
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https://twitter.com/Coldwar_Steve/status/1454785025598177280
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Oct 31, 2021 13:40
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Bobstar posted:
I believe the Benelux agreed in principle to all do the same thing even as they haven't agreed yet what that will be.
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Oct 31, 2021 13:44
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Jaeluni Asjil posted:I stayed in a friends' house for a couple of weeks while they were away. They are keen on kale. The kale had to be harvested while I was there. I detest kale. Every orifice of the fridge freezer was stuffed with megatons of kale. (not swinging or rattling). The problem is that the further north you go the bigger a difference that makes. Treble summer time would mean December sunrise at midday in the north of Scotland, in exchange for not much in terms of evening light.
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Oct 31, 2021 13:58
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JeremoudCorbynejad posted:Farming is hard. Like I already knew it was probably hard but gently caress me, the life of a farmer is totally alien to me and I think I'd sooner die than work a farm, my god. And that's with all the automation!
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Oct 31, 2021 14:02
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