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AnoHito posted:Some people just like having a big fancy wedding. And that's fine. The requests she made were not where she was the rear end in a top hat. She was the rear end in a top hat when her response to a couple of the bridesmaids saying "no, I can't afford this" was to have a huge meltdown instead of trying to make things easier for them or just saying "I understand, and I'd be happy if you could still make the wedding." Plus the expectation that everyone needs to stay in the resort and attend her at all times like a royal entourage. That's the red flag that this is a Queen For A Day fantasy and not a wedding.
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Nov 5, 2021 15:45
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In ancient days weren't the people getting married required to pay for everything for the people attending?
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Nov 5, 2021 15:50
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spacetoaster posted:In ancient days weren't the people getting married required to pay for everything for the people attending? Father of the bride (in Western countries). Similarly the reason wedding gift registries are a thing is because traditionally the wedding would be the point where a couple would actually move in together, so the gifts are supposed to be the kinds of things you would need on day one of moving out of your parent's house and living independently.
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Nov 5, 2021 15:58
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Of course you need a bridal shower, how else are you going to get a giant ceramic leaf platter?
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Nov 5, 2021 16:01
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FiftySeven posted:I will never ever understand this brain poisoning that has people convinced they need to spend obscene amounts of money on a wedding. If I was planning a destination wedding, it would 100% be with the intention that it was going to be super casual, and no one was obligated to turn up unless they fancied the trip too. How can it ever be seen as reasonable to expect people to spend huge sums of money on a day that is entirely not about them? advertising works, turns out, and it takes very little persuasion to convince middle class strivers to bankrupt themselves trying to give off the appearance that they're royalty. If De Beers could sell everyone on diamonds can't imagine how easy a job of it some Hawaiian beach resort has spacetoaster posted:In ancient days weren't the people getting married required to pay for everything for the people attending? in ancient days weddings consisted of getting half the village hammered in the barn and then walking home to gently caress
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Nov 5, 2021 16:02
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Of course you need a bridal shower, how else are you going to get a giant ceramic leaf platter? For real, everyone should have a registry at Design Toscano https://www.designtoscano.com/
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Nov 5, 2021 16:04
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Further, your neighbors chipping in financially to help with your wedding or provide gifts is in exchange for you having done the same thing for their respective weddings. Its a system of collectivizing the costs of throwing a killer party.
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Nov 5, 2021 16:05
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Halloween Jack posted:It's not exactly about the money, per se. People like this think that a wedding is an opportunity to live in a psychotic dream-realm where you get to be God for a day. Or a week, if your social set can afford a destination wedding. Eating Disorder Isn’t the whole point of destination weddings to exclude your methhead cousin who could never in a million years hold on to money long enough to save up for a resort trip, so he can’t ruin it? I always thought of them as being purpose built to exclude people, why is she getting mad that it’s working?
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Nov 5, 2021 16:07
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Halloween Jack posted:I mean, no, her expectations were hosed up to begin with. You shouldn't plan destination weddings without considering how your friends and family will afford it, ditto for the dresses and hair and makeup. #1 rule of destination weddings is don't do it unless you want to: A) Pay the way for some (or all) of the wedding party or B) Expect at least a few people in the wedding party to decline
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Nov 5, 2021 16:13
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spacetoaster posted:Yeah, it's very successful if your kid is active in real social activity. This is what I'm aiming for. Going to try to get them into surfing and climbing while they're little until they express an interest in team sports or music and hope that sticks. If we move to China, I reckon it'll be a non issue. WeChat's not as bad. I think the cons of social media far outweigh the positive. Destroys relationships, the inequality on full blast that you're supposed to embrace, enabling of harassment, the direct increase on young suicides. And it's a total time sink. I mean so is SA but at least we have fun.
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Nov 5, 2021 16:15
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Halloween Jack posted:She's recovering from erectile dysfunction? I read ED as that, too. Every time.
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Nov 5, 2021 16:21
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kntfkr posted:This is what I'm aiming for. Going to try to get them into surfing and climbing while they're little until they express an interest in team sports or music and hope that sticks. If we move to China, I reckon it'll be a non issue. WeChat's not as bad. e: To give you some example, my daughter does social work in a highly-impacted (read: many children need help) school. She actually needs to be able to talk about Fortnite with the children, and used Roblox a lot as therapy during the plague years. Arsenic Lupin fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Nov 5, 2021 |
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Nov 5, 2021 16:23
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definitely got a point that pre-social-media team sports were notably devoid of weird freaks and nazis and weird nazi freaks, tho
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Nov 5, 2021 16:24
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kimbo305 posted:I read ED as that, too. Every time. CBT, dammit.
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Nov 5, 2021 16:26
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I sometimes try to remember anything I said at all as a kid-tween on AIM and it's a dark slurry of memory. I can only surmise it would be an awesome karmic torment to force me to read those chatlogs for eternity. I'm super pleased none of those little boxes were public-facing.
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Nov 5, 2021 16:26
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:definitely got a point that pre-social-media team sports were notably devoid of weird freaks and nazis and weird nazi freaks, tho As someone who played team sports before social media, lol no
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Nov 5, 2021 16:30
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Barudak posted:Further, your neighbors chipping in financially to help with your wedding or provide gifts is in exchange for you having done the same thing for their respective weddings. Its a system of collectivizing the costs of throwing a killer party.
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Nov 5, 2021 16:31
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Hating your stepmom/dad is such basic bitch poo poo. No one trying to be like your dumb rear end mom/dad. Gives me the roller eyes everytime.
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Nov 5, 2021 16:35
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As a former teenage delinquent/parents worst nightmare I can confirm that if your kid wants to do something, or if they feel doing something is necessary for their social life, you're probably not gonna be able to stop them with force or strictness. What you can do is give them the skills to navigate difficult environments, and the safety to fall back on if it goes wrong. The only difference between the kids with ultra strict parents and the kids with laissez-faire parents in my experience was that the laissez-faire kids actually went to their parents for help when they got into situations they couldn't handle, and the strict kids didn't (and also generally wilded out way harder, because they were primed to see warnings as lies and boundaries as arbitrary.) I'm not saying just let your kids do whatever, but the older they get the less control over their interactions you're going to be able to exert, and the more counter-productive trying can become, so getting decent risk analysis, emotional resilience and problem solving skills in place as early as you can is your best bet for keeping them safe. Edit: and make sure they understand that if they come to you with a problem, you'll help first and discipline second, so it's not more scary to talk to you than it is to deal with whatever it is alone.
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Nov 5, 2021 16:41
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small ghost posted:As a former teenage delinquent/parents worst nightmare I can confirm that if your kid wants to do something, or if they feel doing something is necessary for their social life, you're probably not gonna be able to stop them with force or strictness. What you can do is give them the skills to navigate difficult environments, and the safety to fall back on if it goes wrong.
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Nov 5, 2021 17:08
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Dik Hz posted:Stop giving out parenting advice. It'll kill future content in this thread. Post some then
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Nov 5, 2021 17:14
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Dik Hz posted:Stop giving out parenting advice. It'll kill future content in this thread. Fair point. Hey parents! Raise your kids in a panopticon, they'll grow up super well adjusted and grateful.
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Nov 5, 2021 17:16
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Make sure your kid always knows that if there's someplace they wanna go, you'll break down any door in their way
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Nov 5, 2021 17:18
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small ghost posted:Fair point. Its not good parenting if they know it's a panopticon.
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Nov 5, 2021 17:19
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Speaking of privacy and trust: AITA for asking for a roommate change after my former roommate revealed an embarrassing secret quote:So I 18 F am a freshman in college and until recently I loved it! I especially loved the social life and the party scene. But I have discovered I have one embarrassing problem when I drink, I wet the bed. It’s really humiliating for me and makes me super self conscious. It’s not as though I black out , it’s something about alcohol that ruins my bladder control as I sleep. This has happened about 5 times since I got to school. The third time it happened my roommate discovered me trying to hide the evidence. I begged her not to tell anyone and thought she was sympathetic. But last week I was eating dinner with friends and we were discussing Halloween plans and one boy made a joke about my bed wetting. I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life. I sobbed for hours knowing that my whole friend group knows about my problem. I knew my roommate told them because she is literally the only one who knew. I was so angry and embarrassed I left school and my Halloween weekend was spent food shopping with my mom. While I was home I put in a request for a roommate change because I was so mad at my roommate. She has texted me like 100 times telling me I’m being dramatic. I think I’m right to never want to talk to her again she humiliated me in front of my friends including the boy she knows I have a crush on. AITA for asking for a change in roommates?
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Nov 5, 2021 17:20
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I don't want to sound too judgmental, but if drinking makes you wet the bed you probably should stop drinking. Also roommate sucks.
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Nov 5, 2021 17:24
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The Bramble posted:Hey thread, I hate you, so read this I hate you so much right now
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Nov 5, 2021 17:24
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AITA for leaving my husbands grandmother stranded two hours from home, after she tricked us into attending a wedding?quote:MIL and I used to have an ok relationship. We weren’t close but she was always nice to me. When we got married three years ago we only have plus ones to people on serious relationships, which she was not. She fought with me about the plus ones for months leading up to the wedding, and then lost her mind the day of the wedding. I know she showed up at some point because I saw her but she left either before or right after the ceremony and cut all contact with us. Apparently she had some sort of breakdown and cried for days and feels I’m responsible.
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Nov 5, 2021 17:26
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kntfkr posted:This is what I'm aiming for. Going to try to get them into surfing and climbing while they're little until they express an interest in team sports or music and hope that sticks. If we move to China, I reckon it'll be a non issue. WeChat's not as bad. It does. The research on kids and screens/social media shows it's clearly not good. My kids and their friends do just fine with regular calls/group texts and stuff. But we're fortunate enough to live within walking distance of their schools and friends. Have you got your kids learning the language if you're planning on going to China? My youngest boy has been taking it for about 8 months now and it's pretty cool. (too bad a trip to China is waaay too expensive and troublesome right now.)
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Nov 5, 2021 17:27
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:
This is still how it works on Shetland and places like that, except everyone gets hammered then drives home.
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Nov 5, 2021 17:29
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I remember my sister, the day before her wedding, saying "I don't want to have a wedding anymore. I still want to be married, but I don't want to have a wedding."
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Nov 5, 2021 17:43
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I said that over and over for months before my wedding!
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Nov 5, 2021 17:46
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My ex-wife, while not a nearly as awful as some of these people, leaned over to me at one point during our wedding and asked, "Isn't it great that everyone in this room has to do what I want?" Yes, I stayed married to her for four years after that.
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Nov 5, 2021 17:46
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Like a lot of things, weddings have been twisted by capitalism into hellworld versions of themselves that most favour the worst actors who have the most money involved. Mind you, a 'traditional' wedding' was basically a property exchange.
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Nov 5, 2021 17:49
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Soylent Pudding posted:AITA for leaving my husbands grandmother stranded two hours from home, after she tricked us into attending a wedding? The rare somewhat reasonable wedding crasher. If it turns out you aren't welcome, just say ok and leave.
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Nov 5, 2021 18:22
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Soylent Pudding posted:AITA for leaving my husbands grandmother stranded two hours from home, after she tricked us into attending a wedding? I mean whatever and all but it seems kinda harsh not to to give the MIL a +1 lol Like I get what she was saying but it’s her husbands mom not a friend or whatever.
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Nov 5, 2021 18:27
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RoboRodent posted:I remember my sister, the day before her wedding, saying "I don't want to have a wedding anymore. I still want to be married, but I don't want to have a wedding." Everyone loves to poo poo, and everyone hates to wipe.
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Nov 5, 2021 18:31
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MarcusSA posted:I mean whatever and all but it seems kinda harsh not to to give the MIL a +1 lol I hadn't caught that. Yeah in what universe does the mother of the groom not get a +1 if she wants one?
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Nov 5, 2021 18:31
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AITA for “causing” a coworker to get written up by HRquote:I(33M) work at an office job with lots of different people. The other day in the break room I was speaking with a coworker about the student loan system in the US. Another coworker(36F) who was eavesdropping interrupted us to say that only people like her who have kids should get a say in what is taught in schools. Not wanting to get into it, I tried to explain to her that wasn’t even what we were talking about. She kept replying that because I don’t ever plan on having kids I shouldn’t have any opinion on the educational system. This really annoyed me, even though it made no sense as an argument,and I told her verbatim, “ I’m not less of a person because I didn’t pop brats out of me.” She got really flustered and left. The next day I get called into our manager’s office where an HR rep and the coworker are waiting. The coworker goes on to say I harassed by saying I told her she should have her tubes tied and that she shouldn’t be” shooting a thousand kids out her vagina.” I was very annoyed and explained that was certainly not what I said. My story was corroborated by three other employees. Here is where I may be the rear end in a top hat, I in turn filed an HR complaint against this coworker for lying about me. Now she is under investigation and this looks like it might impact a promotion she is up for. People in the office are saying I should have let it go and it was over the line to report her that close to a promotion. I just feel it wouldn’t be an issue if she didn’t lie. AMITA? People who make false HR complaints absolutely should not be promoted and be put in a position over anyone else.
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Nov 5, 2021 18:38
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Uncle Enzo posted:I hadn't caught that. Yeah in what universe does the mother of the groom not get a +1 if she wants one? Some brides really wanna be the relationship police, and the excuse you hear most of the time is: "It'll be awful if they break up and we have to see them in the pictures." So many problems would be solved if brides stopped giving a poo poo about the pictures.
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Nov 5, 2021 18:42
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