PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Agent (7)47

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Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

PhantomOfTheCopier posted:

Gaston actor orders woman to leave after she 'touches him inappropriately at Disney park'

I guess parks are strip clubs and exotic dancers now?

Platystemon posted:

🎵No one enforces consent like Gaston.🎵

# ? Nov 6, 2021 16:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 23:22

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Snitching on yourself by being upset by the term "lower tier friend"

# ? Nov 6, 2021 17:29

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

No. 1 ANIME HATER posted:

Snitching on yourself by being upset by the term "lower tier friend"

That feel when you want to be S teir but you know you're a C at best.

# ? Nov 6, 2021 17:31

Martman: Nov 20, 2006

Friendship is like a gacha game, you gotta drop the big bucks to get the 5-star SSS tier friends

# ? Nov 6, 2021 18:02

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Admiral Joeslop posted:

https://twitter.com/kennedytcooper/status/1456716020568272899

Frank Frank posted:

Sir this is a� oh. Ok.

# ? Nov 6, 2021 18:10

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Backseat modding at 7:40 AM and then whining that the mods haven't done anything yet at 7:47 AM. On a Tuesday. :mods:

# ? Nov 6, 2021 18:24

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://twitter.com/DanBoeckner/status/1457004342842511364?s=20

freeedr posted:

How could a conscious person be accidentally celibate? Did he mean involuntarily?

steinrokkan posted:

Well, the nature of Moby dick is famously beyond the reach of the will of men.

# ? Nov 7, 2021 14:34

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Terrible aim, I imagine

# ? Nov 7, 2021 14:42

Deformed Church: May 12, 2012; 5'5", IQ 81

Good Soldier Svejk posted:

So after some soul searching and definitely not any amount of money I need to disclose having received from the dairy lobby, I have changed my mind.

Ignore that other song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-bRwgjnSpc

# ? Nov 7, 2021 15:03

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

runnypoops posted:

All i remember from survivor is a guy calls someone a fat naked f*ggot at one point and 10year old me thought that was very funny

Aardvark! posted:

Actually your window was open

# ? Nov 7, 2021 15:49

Cacafuego: Jul 22, 2007

No. 1 ANIME HATER posted:

# ? Nov 7, 2021 16:11

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

*inserts new item near top, directly under "turn on your monitor"*

# ? Nov 7, 2021 18:41

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

How can you open a window when your monitor is turned off?

# ? Nov 7, 2021 18:48

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

No. 1 ANIME HATER posted:

Sweet Lord in Heaven

# ? Nov 7, 2021 20:20

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Someone better call St Peter. Give him headsup of express delivery

# ? Nov 7, 2021 21:23

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

quote:

Dustin asked his employees to gather around him in the kitchen. Egg McMuffins sat half made on the counter. A clock on the cash register that tracked the restaurant�s drive-through times and transmitted the data back to corporate ticked away the seconds since their last completed order.

�Why would you want to work for a company that doesn�t value you?� Dustin asked. He turned to one of the restaurant�s longest serving employees. �You�ve been here for five years,� he said. �What have you got for it? Nothing.�

The workers, clad in their uniforms, ball caps and nonslip shoes, stared at him, unsure what they were supposed to do next. Dustin explained that he was leaving and locking up the restaurant. If they followed, he promised he would help them all find better jobs. �How many of you want to go with me?� Dustin asked.

�There are better ways to go about this,� the regional supervisor replied. She had been thinking about boosting pay at the Bradford McDonald�s, she said, but she was not going to give into threats or give up control. Because of the petition, no one was getting a raise. If the workers did not like it, they could quit.

BattleMaster posted:

she was never going to give anyone a raise and just said that to try to turn people against him

The Oldest Man posted:

She was constantly thinking about giving people a raise and then not doing it for self-gratification purposes

poo poo POST MALONE posted:

The Raiser's Edge

# ? Nov 8, 2021 06:25

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

Platystemon posted:

lmao

# ? Nov 8, 2021 08:07

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Heffer posted:

Hmm I wonder if anybody has...

Digital Horse Racing Platform Raises $20 Million, Adds Crypto Stud Fees

Yeah of course. Of course they did.

Edit: surprised nobody has tried linking horse semen samples to the blockchain. Would love to see a crypto nerd stuck holding the bag with 500K in unusable house sperm.

Alan Smithee posted:

mr. diamond hands

# ? Nov 8, 2021 14:25

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Ladies and gentlemen, a brief summary of HangedManArcana's post history on Something Awful.

Post 2: "A freaking deserted island. What the gently caress!?"

Post 3, after being told there is no word filter and cursing is allowed: "Eh, I'm going to do it anyways."

Post 3, continued: "I'm going to /try/ not to get attached to anyone so I don't get saddened like with [murders in a video game]."

Post 4: "I'm waiting until I like a character to see if I want to shell out 5 bucks for an avatar." (Note: Probated for 1 day)

Post 6: "Orenronen has already played through this game, probably, and isn't going to have the same ZOMG that Fredule will have."

Post 8: "Before an bicker starts- Battle royale and Hunger games are greatly different. And that's the end of that"

Post 11: You were reported for going ahead in the game and spoiling stuff. You edited it out. I normally let that slide, but see previous evidence and this:

Post 12: "I hate to admit it, but I squeed over that."

Diagnosis: Hopeless poster. Skip probation, go straight to ban.
:letsplay:

HangedManArcana posted:

...
I hate to admit it, but I squeed over that. I can't wait until we get more fanart, or in this case fan Plushies.
Souda in the official art is just as laid back and cool looking, and Gundam... Gundam is the over the top bad rear end with animals like he's been. Awesome!

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Nov 8, 2021 17:50

Fantastic Foreskin: Jan 6, 2013; A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

Harsh, but fair.

# ? Nov 8, 2021 19:06

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

As any vet will tell you, sometimes that's the kindest thing you can do

# ? Nov 8, 2021 19:13

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

flavor.flv posted:

As any vet will tell you, sometimes that's the kindest thing you can do

Dude, please. He's living on a forum upstate.

# ? Nov 8, 2021 19:21

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Sometimes funny can mean strange / odd

Pope Corky the IX posted:

My ex-wife once tried to give me a blowjob while drunk and ended up puking on my dick. It was dark so I didn't immediately realize what had happened so she slurred that everything was fine while picking chunks of curry chicken out of my pubic hair.

# ? Nov 8, 2021 19:26

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

Empty Sandwich posted:

the boss where I used to work was really into weird jerky. a new dried meat place opened near me, so I left a message from my office asking whether they had any mutton jerky.

I had to leave on a call, so I came back to the receptionist telling me "the jerky store called and they're running out of ewe"

# ? Nov 8, 2021 19:29

Dammerung: Oct 17, 2008; "Dang, that's hot."

EorayMel posted:

Ladies and gentlemen, a brief summary of HangedManArcana's post history on Something Awful.

Post 2: "A freaking deserted island. What the gently caress!?"

I am so ashamed of myself for knowing what game this was as soon as I read that.

# ? Nov 8, 2021 19:38

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

shut up blegum posted:

it's a fantastic joke, but there must be a twinge of sadness that comes with knowing you've peaked comedically.

# ? Nov 8, 2021 20:06

Sapozhnik: Jan 2, 2005; Nap Ghost

ultrafilter posted:

heh, that's pretty good

# ? Nov 8, 2021 20:30

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Dammerung posted:

I am so ashamed of myself for knowing what game this was as soon as I read that.

Danga Ronpa was a terrific time for the forums.

As in terrifying.

I followed the first thread religiously.

# ? Nov 9, 2021 03:11

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

and ive been giving it cheese for like a week now, but he seems to really not like the kraft food cheese i've been giving him. I think he's been vomiting but i thought iguanas do that on purpose, like thats how mario got bowser to shoot fireballs because iguanas shoot nasty poo poo all the time out of their mouths. Im really in the dark here and i dont know if i need to give him more cheese or like some chicken or what. I mean its just foot. I eat all sorts of nasty poo poo and i dont cough up any of this poo poo. Can somebody please tell me what to do.

*also, i accidentally broke his tail off. i seriosly thought they grew back and i was just playing with the tip, this little dude doesnt like me though and he jusst ran away when i had like 2" of his tail in my hand. will it grow back?

TskMgr posted:

You smoke dick and post in rear end fart.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Nov 9, 2021 03:23

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Inceltown posted:

Sometimes funny can mean strange / odd

Wow

# ? Nov 9, 2021 05:51

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Stupid mutilation huh.

# ? Nov 9, 2021 07:12

HiroProtagonist: May 7, 2007

Panfilo posted:

Speaking of game music, did you remember the r/relationships story of the lady who was trying to get her sheltered boyfriend to be comfortable enough to have sex with her, so she suggested putting music on the background. She let him pick the music, and because he was a huge nerd he picked the classic Tetris music.

Apparently he liked it so much it was the ONLY music he'd gently caress to, and she was getting aggrivated he was humping to the rhythm of the music. Anyway I bet he was the one that tweeted that video game music was the only 'good' music out there.