Mx. posted:

Someone else's used condom stuck to my [35M] leg while hooking up with my [31F] ex-wife at her house.

it really takes all kinds doesnt it

Batterypowered7 posted:

wheatpuppy posted:

For "petroleum engineer" I read "gas station attendant."

quote:

Sorry for the long post!

For context, I was raised by my single father. He raised me to be totally self serving, where I learn not only to cook, clean etc but to be my own ‘handy man’. This has lead me to being very independent especially around my house. My husband on the other hand was raised to expect everything done for him and never really learn any self sustaining skills. But also raised to believe that the male is always right.

Fast forward to last week, I needed to buy a new line trimmer as my old faithful finally gave up on life. I was busy with the kids and my husband said he would go pick it up for me. I told him which one I wanted and what brand all my power tools are. He said he understood but when he came back, he had purchased one from a different brand. When I asked about it he said he thought it was better and it was also cheaper than the one I wanted. This annoyed me but I thought whatever, he tried move on.

It wasn’t until I looked at it I realised he hadn’t brought the battery pack to go with it. When I asked he told me I could just use the battery’s from my other tools. I tried to explain to him that this wasn’t possible and why but he didn’t want a bar of it. A few moments later he said ‘ok my brothers coming over and we can go back to the hardware store’. I thought we would either be exchanging it or buying the battery pack. But I was so wrong…

When we got there he walked straight up to the tool shack and ask the tool specialist to explain to me how my Ryobi battery’s would work perfectly find in my new Makita line trimmer. Well let’s just say that this didn’t go well, the tool guy sided with me and explained when you committed to a tool brand you stay with it due to a few aspects about the batteries. He was embarrassed but quickly did the exchange when finding out the battery/charger pack cost more the line trimmer itself.

When we got home, it started. He was yelling at me about how I embarrassed him, how I’m constantly emasculating him and how I should be a good wife and just stick to doing things appropriate for females. Well this got to me and I snapped, I replied with ‘the only person that’s emasculating you is yourself. It’s not my fault you never learnt to be what you call a man’ and I walked off.

It’s been a week now and he only speaks to me through the kids. It’s got me thinking AITA?

quote:

I started dating Anna two years ago. Anna is unlike any other women I ever dated. She's the most even-tempered, level-headed, drama-free, chill and grounded person I have ever met in my life. She's also fiercely independant, ridiculously smart and yet somehow also managed to be incredibly humble and open-minded about life and everything else.

When we first started dating, I asked her what she was looking for in a partner. She said she didn't want someone to build a life with, as she already had the life she wanted, she just wanted someone to share that life with, and explicetely told me she wanted an independant partner who has his own life without her and wouldn't make that relationship his everything. As such we do a lot of things together, but we also have our separate things and I think it's working great.

Anna lives about 90min outside the city, on a quiet and remote countryside lot on a river. She owns her house and a couple hundred acres lot of forest land. She inherited the land from her grandfather, and renovated the decrepit summer cottage in a modern looking small-ish house. She works from home.

I live in a small downtown condo I bought 10 years ago and it's nearly paid off. I also used to work downtown but with the pandemic my employer has now moved to an hybrid model so I'll spend about half of the time at home, the other half at work.

Despite the distance, we spend every weekend together and still see each other a couple days per week. We've split traveling about fairly, I don't have to go to her place more often than she comes to my place. When she visit me downtown, we go the movies and restaurnats and shows, etc, and when I visit her in the countryside we sit outside around the fire and go for nature walks or a swim on the river.

I can really see myself spending the rest of my life with Anna, because it's the most wholesome and, weirdly enough, calming relationship I ever had. Being with Anna remove stress from my existence just by being with her.

So the other day I broached the subject of moving in together. We could still keep our distinct hobbies and lifestyle if we wanted and yet share the same bed and everything all the time. Anna first reaction was "I'm not moving to the city, forget about that". I suggested we get a bigger condo together, and keep her country house as a secondary residence. She reitered her affirmation that she's not moving in the city, that is non negotiable. She said she'd be happy to have me move in with her, but her house is really too small for two grown-up working from home, it's barely bigger than my downtown condo. She also wanted to keep the condo as pieds-à-terre in the city since her house is paid for, and my condo is almost paid for, it wouldn't a be a significant expense and let's be honest, with both of our incomes money isn't an issue.

Anna said it's the only thing she's willing on compromising. Either I move in with her, and apparently gently caress my arguments of there's not enough space for all of my stuff in here. Even the three car garage that is bigger than the whole house is completely filled up with her workshop and projects, there's no room for my car (her's stay outside year long). Her house is 1000sq ft, two bedroom. One is her office, the other her bedroom. I'd have no dedicated office/gaming room like I have, I'd have to reduce my closet space by like 75% (I have a walk in, she has one tiny closet we'd have to share), neither of us would have our own space (well, except her workshop, I think in two years I set foot inside twice).

I then suggested we both sell our places, we'd make banks and buy something that isn't downtown (my preference) or countryside (her preference). I suggested one suburban town that has that small town vibe about half-way between our place, and Anna downright laughed at me saying that I understood nothing, like moving to the suburbs, it's even worst than moving downtown.

So I got in a fit, because she say she loves me and she loves our relationship and it's one of the greatest things she had going on in her life and yet she's not even willing to live with me. She said it has nothing with living with me or not, but where she lives, and her house and her land and her workshop and her quiet countryside life is the sundae, and I'm the cherry on top. So I got the message clear and simple, a stupid house is more important than me. Also even if I move in with her she's not putting me on the deeds, she offered we split household expenses like I could take care of the grocery but every single house expense and decisions are hers only to make so that also tells me how much she value our relationship. She says she's never letting anyone in a position to even possibly get their hands on her pride and joy.

We had a huge argument, well I tried to argument with her but it's like talking to a particularly stubborn brick wall. She told me to calm down, that I am not in a rational set of mind to continue the conversation. She reiterated her position. Either I move in with her in her small country house (and somehow managed to fit all my stuff in here ????), or we continue living apart, or if both options are not acceptable to me, then we'll end things, but that's my decision to make. Because her decision is already made, she's staying here, with or without me, and yes she'll be sad to see things end because she thought that relationship was great, but she's not sacrifying everything she worked so hard to achieve, and that yes she knows it's sound selfish but she has no trouble assuming it. So either I deal with it, or I don't, but she has already.

So my question is, is that relationship doomed ? I can't really see pursuing a long-term relationship with someone who can't compromise with me especially on such an important thing like actually living together like a real couple. Her intransigeance has really put me off, I thought she valued me more than that, because honestly we never had any problem negotiating other things, but she's just so strangely and ridiculously stubborn on that I'm just flabbergasted about the whole thing, I honestly thought she'd be happy we'd finally move in to something more permanent.

On the other hand, that relationship had been to this point the most wonderful relationship I ever had, and I can't see it ending it that way, it would be so stupid we end things because we can't compromise on where to live but as much as she can't see herself living downtown or in the suburbs, I can't really see myself living permanently in the country. I'm a city boy, I need my bars and pubs and restorants and shows and coffee shops within walking distance. At Anna's there's nothing except a big convenience store / small grocery store / general store about 15min by road.

I just don't know what to do. My friends tell me she's a stuck up bitch and to dump her rear end she's not worthy of me. My parents and my sisters are telling me to really think about it twice, that I accord way too much importance at things that shouldn't be important (my stuff) over my happiness at living with someone I love and who love me and that I'll regret dumping her because I worry about not having enough place to store my shirts.

EDIT : okay I get it, I'm an overreacting crybaby and Anna deserve someone better than me. Tho I admit being called out like that did calm me down. I'm gonna call her later and discuss the possibility of physically expanding the space available, either expanding the house or building something new so we can both fit in with our things.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA For telling my husband that he emasculates himself?

quote:

It’s been a week now and he only speaks to me through the kids. It’s got me thinking AITA?

Evil Willow posted:

I'll regret dumping her because I worry about not having enough place to store my shirts.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA For telling my husband that he emasculates himself?

Evil Willow posted:

AITA For telling my husband that he emasculates himself?

Evil Willow posted:

Long read, but well worth it!

My [34/M] girlfriend [34/F] girlfriend of two years doesn't want us to live together nor make any kind of compromise about our living situation.

... a stupid house is more important than me...

Evil Willow posted:

Long read, but well worth it!

My [34/M] girlfriend [34/F] girlfriend of two years doesn't want us to live together nor make any kind of compromise about our living situation.

Mx. posted:

as always, the answer is to emasculate him further (by divorcing him in this case)

Evil Willow posted:

AITA For telling my husband that he emasculates himself?

quote:

My ex refused to touch his rear end with anything & that meant including soap. One day I could smell him & I almost gagged.

I just remember telling him if he could wash between his 🍑 because well he smelt like literal 💩.

He screamed at me & got upset with me. Not because he was embarrassed but because he simply thought I was trying to dominate him by making him wash there.

To him, quote on quote “I’m not a fcking fggot only f*ghost do that.”

That was number 3🚩I was outta of there.

quote:

My daughter is 14 and a freshman in high school. She came home one day after being at her mother’s for a week (we split custody) and wrote “homecoming” on our calendar and starts talking about all the plans she’s made with her best friend to go to homecoming together. Homecoming week happened to fall on a week she was with me. She starts raving to my wife and I about the dress her mom took her to buy and that she’s matching with her friend. She had even bought a ticket already.

I was furious with her entitlement to just make all these plans without asking me first. I can admit it’s not just her fault, but her mother’s as well for not clearing it with me before buying her the dress and ticket. In fact, I wouldn’t put it past her and her mother to have bought the dress and ticket before asking in order to force me into letting her go.

I want to teach her a lesson about asking first and not assuming that I’m just going to let her do whatever she wants and that she can’t manipulate people in order to get her way. So I told her that if she’d asked first, I’d have been happy to let her go to her homecoming dance. But since she decided to make plans and buy stuff before even asking if she could go, I wasn’t going to let her.

She cried and told me that you only get one freshman homecoming, and I told her maybe she should’ve thought about that. I said all homecomings are the same anyway, she has three more opportunities to go and she’s not missing much. She sulked in her room for the rest of the day and didn’t talk much. I tried to comfort her, but my wife said not to because I’d be teaching her that I’ll give her my attention if she acts upset and cries. I went to comfort her anyway because I didn’t think she was acting, but she rejected me. That infuriated me even more, so I left her in her room to cry alone.

Her mother was furious when she found out, and demanded that I pay her back the money she spent on the dress and homecoming ticket. I said absolutely not because she didn’t clear it with me before buying those things so it’s her own fault. However, she contacted her attorney (who contacted mine) and long story short I got to sit down with my wife and our family therapist for a painstaking conversation about communication.

It’s now long after homecoming, and my daughter is pretty much back to normal but she’s still angry with me for not letting her go to that dance. I stand firmly by my decision not to let her go but was I an rear end in a top hat?

TLDR: daughter made plans and bought a dress/ticket for homecoming dance before asking me if she could go - so I didn’t let her go. AITA?

Evil Willow posted:

Long read, but well worth it!

My [34/M] girlfriend [34/F] girlfriend of two years doesn't want us to live together nor make any kind of compromise about our living situation.

Brawnfire posted:

I want a country cottage to live and work from and a condo to visit the city in

kalel posted:

the actual issue is that she really doesn't need him but, for whatever reason (internalized toxic masculinity, codependency issues), he believes she should.

Mx. posted:

Someone else's used condom stuck to my [35M] leg while hooking up with my [31F] ex-wife at her house.

it really takes all kinds doesnt it

quote:

I(18f) and my boyfriend(18m) found out we were expecting when we were both 16 my parents were strict and didn’t even want me having a boyfriend, when they found out they kicked me out.

I had to go live with my boyfriend and I had a beautiful baby girl, however I became pregnant again when I turned 18 ,somehow my parents and family found out and have been contacting me since. I agreed to come to a family dinner and when I got there my family sat me down and told me that my sister Lexi (25f) was trying for a baby but her and her husband found out they are both infertile. Then they gave me some shocking news, they said that since I was pregnant that after the baby was born I would give my sister and her husband the baby! I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. (BTW my husband wasn’t there at the dinner) They told me it was the least I could do for them after all they had done for me. I told them that they had done nothing for me and they kicked me out when I needed them most. Since then I have received many angry calls and messages from all my family saying that I am the rear end in a top hat for crushing my sisters dream. But I think I am in the right so AITA?

Dr. Stab posted:

I feel like some straight people get married not because they want to share their life with another person, but because they feel like they have to get married to someone, because that's what you're supposed to do. And then you get stories like "my stay at home husband doesn't shower or clean up after himself or know how to make food" and it's, like you don't have a husband, you have someone's pawned-off manchild.

quote:

Original

Hello everyone! I just want to say thank you guys for all the responses and for dealing with my brattiness (my brother's words). The split judgements were giving me a headache while trying to read everyone's comments lol.

After sleeping off my rage fit and reading some of the comments I did come to terms that I was in the wrong. Some people had mentioned that my parents could've been trying to come up with the best way to talk to me which I believe was true because they've never been good at having heart to hearts. So doing what I thought would be good for everyone, I made plans to stay with my close friend and let my parents be. I apologized to my mom and left for my friend's.

There was a little arson situation at our high school like an hour before school ended so we all got out early and I decided to go home earlier. When my parents got home from work, we had our conversation. First my mom apologized profusely for having me wait and not saying anything earlier and my dad apologized for having me see what I saw. I accepted them but apologized to my mom again. My mom said "We weren't planning on telling you everything until you moved out but your idiot for a father always messes poo poo up". She then told me that what they have is like an open relationship but they never knew what to label it until one of their friends helped. She also told me that since they were being honest, it was her who cheated first and my dad turned out to be okay. My dad told me that if I wanted, they wouldn't have their friends around anymore. I declined that offer since I was already used to seeing them and I never minded the extra people in the house. My brother joined the conversation and told me the story of how he found out about my aunt and our parents. Later, My brother came into my room and showed me my aita post on his phone. Yes. He found my post fml. He pinched me and said he was sorry.

To clear up a few things. 1) Many of you said it was obvious it was an open relationship but like it wasn't to me! 2) A lot of you took the sentence "Never thought my aunt was like that...." wrong. I wasn't judging or anything, I was honestly just surprised since I didn't expect my aunt of all people to like that sort of thing. She's pretty conservative lol. 3) I didn't want to believe my parents were in an open relationship since I just couldn't picture it. 4) My mom always tells me a few things, one of them being "Never let a man make fool of you". Thinking my mom was just letting my dad mess around without any consequences was what made me mad. 5) I never wanted a divorce. 6) I referenced movies once lmao. 7) My parents didn't gaslight me and I'm not traumatized.

Everyone that shared their experiences, I hope you're at peace now. This was a roller coaster of emotion and I think made us all a bit closer. Again thank you everyone and I hope all of you have a wonderful day or night!

8one6 posted:

Sorry you had to learn this the hard way dude but yes, yes it is. She lives on a hundred acres within driving distance of whatever city you live in. If this is the US then it's likely worth more than you'll make in the next decade. She, by your own post, made it clear that you're not a part of her long term plans.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not giving my sister my child?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not giving my sister my child?

quote:

Hi! I’m using a throw away to keep this anonymous.

I volunteer fostering cats. My cats tend to go to a cat cafe, so I don’t typically do meet and greets, but when I do, I’ll have people stop by so they can see the cat in its territory and get a good sense for the cats personality.

A mom and her 4 yo daughter stopped by to meet one of my kittens. She applied online and went through the foster organization so I didn’t know her, but my husband was home so I felt pretty safe.

I have 4 cats of my own, and for this meet and greet I shut them in my guest room just to make things easier. They’re not huge fans of kids anyway.

Everything was going great, they met and liked the kitten and when we were walking back to the entrance, we passed the guest room and the 4 yo heard my cats meowing so she sprinted to the door and opened it before I realized what was happening.

The cats scattered except for my gray one. He is an adorable boi, with a half milk mustache and little mittens. The 4 yo fell in love immediately and ran to him and started yelling that she wanted this one because it was the same as a stuffed animal she has.

The mom asked me how much it was for him and I politely said he wasn’t for adoption.

She kept arguing with me trying to get that cat, but like I said, he’s my cat. The 4 yo started shrieking because she couldn’t have the cat, and she picked him up. I asked her to put him down, but she’s 4. She started squeezing him and he was trying to get away but so far hadn’t used his nails (he’s such a good boy).

The mom made no moves to intervene, and I tried to take the cat without touching the girl but I didn’t want to play tug a war and hurt the cat, so I, as gently as I could, tried to pull her arms apart and the mom came at me, screaming for touching her kid. The cat got away, and the whole way to their car the kept screaming about how I was a terrible person and I shouldn’t have showed them a cat they can’t have. The 4 year old was bawling uncontrollably. It was horrible. I felt horrible. The mom threatened to call the cops and my foster org.

My husband was asleep because he works 3rd shift so he only caught the tail end of it. He obviously doesn’t think I was the AH because giving up our cat was never an option.

I called some friends and family, and while everyone is shocked, they said I was definitely TAH for touching the kid. They said my cat could handle itself, but I was worried about the girl getting scratched or bitten and my cat shouldn’t be subjected to a child squeezing it like he’s a stuffed animal.

But my SIL & MIL both said I should have just given them the cat if it meant that much to the child. The cat would be their only cat while he is 1 of my 4 and the cat would be happier with them too and made me feel terrible for causing all the drama. They said kittens are easier to adopt so adult cats should be given to whoever wants them.

But it’s my cat. I want him. They’re all well taken care of and we love them very much.

Update: My foster org will not be adopting out to this family and will communicate with other cat adoption orgs in the area. I feel bad for limiting families that will adopt cats because of the over population of cats, but I never want to see a cat abused or adopted and then thrown to the side. Adult cats should be just as valued as kittens imo.

quote:

I posted this to a few people, so it's copy and pasted but I think it might explain their behavior better:
ugh tbh I think it's because they really want us to have babies and we really don't want to. They have it in their minds that we'll have babies and get rid of our cats. They've expressed time and time again that you can't have babies and cats because the cats can scratch the baby. They were both very disapproving every time we welcomed a cat into our home.

But we don't want a baby. And even if we do, we're keeping our cats. The baby will learn really quick if it gets scratched. I judge pet owners who ditch their pets when they pop out children.

I think to them, this is just an opportune time to get rid of one so we can start on babies. It's incredibly frustrating.

Soylent Pudding posted:

UPDATE: AITA for yelling at my mom when she acted like nothing happened after my dad cheated?

Soylent Pudding posted:

UPDATE: AITA for yelling at my mom when she acted like nothing happened after my dad cheated?

My mom said "We weren't planning on telling you everything until you moved out but your idiot for a father always messes poo poo up"

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not letting my daughter go to her homecoming dance?

quote:

I would have better contact with my daughter if she didn’t refuse to speak to me when she’s staying with her mother. It’s not my fault she won’t talk to me

quote:

Her mother is particularly manipulative and I’m trying to show my daughter that she won’t get away with acting like her mother

quote:

How was coming in and writing “homecoming” on the calendar and showing off her dress she’d already bought NOT manipulative? That’s manipulating me into letting her go and I wasn’t giving in to that.

quote:

Yes, I would feel the same about those things. I barely got to see my daughter for YEARS am I an rear end in a top hat for wanting to spend as much time with her as I can? Because I know her mother has convinced her that I’m the villain and I DO fear she’ll leave me when she turns 18.

I didn’t let her go to her dance recital last year because it was an entire weekend long and I wasn’t missing out on her for that long. My ex withheld my daughters from me for 7 years.

quote:

I’m her dad, I am the boss of her am I not?

Dr. Stab posted:

More lovely controlling dad in the comments. I just can't get enough of this rear end in a top hat.

quote:

I DO fear she’ll leave me when she turns 18.

Neito posted:

Why is "Give me your kid" such a common thing? Like, I can understand "Give me your car", I can almost understand "Give me your house", but "Give me your kid" is just insane to me. It's probably because I see a kid as a human being with a soul and a connection and a thing that loves and can be loved, and the real answer is "You're not a psychopath who views kids as a checklist item and property at best", but loving hell.

Neito posted:

Why is "Give me your kid" such a common thing? Like, I can understand "Give me your car", I can almost understand "Give me your house", but "Give me your kid" is just insane to me. It's probably because I see a kid as a human being with a soul and a connection and a thing that loves and can be loved, and the real answer is "You're not a psychopath who views kids as a checklist item and property at best", but loving hell.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA For telling my husband that he emasculates himself?