r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

I almost understand her wanting fake bridesmaids so it doesn't look out of place with her fiance having groomsmen. But then people are going to ask about the fake bridesmaids and that'll be even more awkward.

I really need details about how OP's friends back stabbed her, or how her relationship with her sister fell apart. Were they legitimately terrible people to OP, or is OP the lowest common denominator in this rear end in a top hat equation?

I thanked my mentor and told him I'd get out of his hair... Except he's bald.

quote:

Lol so as the title suggests, I have a mentor who happens to be bald. He's serious about his work but pretty easy-going otherwise. We spoke for about an hour and then I introduced someone to him. At the end of the meeting, I thanked him for his time and said, "I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving, I'll get out of your hair now." I'm mortified. He laughed and seemed genuine about it, but I'm still worried I offended him somehow. Any thoughts?

lol

# ? Nov 16, 2021 20:46

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# ? May 28, 2024 23:09

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Halloween Jack posted:

It's amazing how many people forget to factor Anal into their wedding budget.

Dinner course choices: Fish, Beef, Veggie

Dessert course choices: Chocolate cake, ice cream sundae , fruit salad

Intercourse choices: Anal, PIV, oral

# ? Nov 16, 2021 20:51

Ethiser: Dec 31, 2011

Brawnfire posted:

Dinner course choices: Fish, Beef, Veggie

Dessert course choices: Chocolate cake, ice cream sundae , fruit salad

Intercourse choices: Anal, PIV, oral

Finally, a child-free wedding that makes sense.

# ? Nov 16, 2021 20:53

Dramatika: Aug 1, 2002; THE BANK IS OPEN

My Fiance wants to end our relationship because I didn't choose him first

quote:

Original Title: Fiance (28M) wants to end our relationship because I (27F) didn't choose him first.
This is a repost. The original post is by u/throwaway987087
I'm sorry if this whole thing sounds a little rushed but my Fiance (Ryan) who I've been with for 7 years told me today that he's not sure whether he wants to be with me anymore and I realize it may sound stupid but I love him so much, it feels like my world is falling apart around me I don't know what I can do.
This all started a couple days ago when we were celebrating our anniversary. We invited a bunch of people including one of my closest friends (Ellie). She noticed my Fiance being affectionate towards me and made some stupid comment about how she "told me so" that Ryan would be better for me than my ex (Andy). My Fiance was a little confused and asked Ellie what she meant.
Back when I was in college, Andy and Ryan both asked me out to the same event. I'd known Ryan since high school and we'd always had a thing but we weren't a couple. on top of that, he went to another college that was a half hour drive away from me.
Andy went to my college, his dorm was a 5 minute walk away and he was someone completely new. I began to feel like my relationship with Ryan wouldn't be 'exciting' enough because we already knew almost everything about each other. With the added headache of being half an hour away from each other, Despite Ellie's protests I decided to go with Andy. I know my reasoning is beyond stupid but I never thought that this decision had the potential to blow up my future.
Ryan was already hurt that I declined his request to go on a date, I didn't want to make him feel worse by telling him that I was going with someone else (not that it mattered because he stopped talking to me for about 6 months). During this time, it became obvious that me and Andy weren't right for each other so we ended it. When me and Ryan began talking again, I realized how much I missed him and that he was perfect for me so I asked him out. He was overjoyed and that's how we got to this point.
For the rest of the party I could tell that his mood was off. He kept pulling away from my kisses/touches and responded to me with short 1 sentence answers. After the party when I asked him what was wrong he just said that he felt sick. For the next 2 days he continued to be cold and distant. I had no idea what was happening so I waited patiently for him to become comfortable enough to tell me.
Today he told me the reason he'd been acting off. From the story, it sounded like I had kept him as my backup or plan b in case my relationship with Andy failed and that it was especially messed up since we'd obviously had feelings for each other long before then. He also said that he deserved to be someone's first choice. I thought that this was just an insecurity that we could get through but then he went on to say that he's not sure whether he can see our relationship in the same light anymore so it might be best if we split up.
I pleaded with him that we don't need to take it that far and that we should go to counselling or even just live seperately for a few days while he thinks about whether this is what he actually wants. So far he hasn't said anything except that he absolutely refuses to go to therapy. I can tell that this is weighing on him heavily because he's been drinking more than usual but I don't know what to say to make him feel better.
We've had a beautiful relationship. He's never been overly jealous or possessive and although neither of us are perfect, I couldn't ask for a more loving, respectful, intelligent and charming (soon-to-be) husband. I don't understand how all of that could come to an end for a foolish mistake that I made 7 years ago. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for by posting on here but if anyone has any advice please, please let me know.
TL;DR: My Fiance found out that I chose to date someone else in college before him, says that he doesn't want to be my "backup" relationship and that it might be best if we go our seperate ways.

EDIT
I think I may have messed up on my wording. He doesn't care that I dated someone else before him. It bothers him that I had the choice between him or Andy and I chose Andy

UPDATE
So a few people have asked for an update. It's been a little over 2 weeks now so I'm not sure if anyone is even interested anymore. I think for now I'm just confused about what's happening, if anyone has any advice or has some idea of what he's thinking, please tell me.
After what happened in the last post, he said that we should put off the wedding while we decide how to proceed. That means something right? He used the exact words "put off" instead of "cancel" and "while we decide how to proceed". I think that means he hasn't decided that we should break up yet. Maybe he'll just decide not to married but to continue our relationship.
I don't think he's ready to give up our relationship yet but he's moved into a hotel. I know some people have told me to give him space but I've decided that even if a part of him is willing to stay with me, I'm going to do everything I can to give me another chance. I've been dropping off food, leaving notes under his door, and we've been calling every day, sometimes twice a day.
Right now we're both stuck in limbo. Most of the time we talk about how much we miss each other, the plans we had and me convincing him that he's my soul mate and that regardless of whatever happened with Andy I know we would've ended up together.
Then there are other moments where he calls in the middle of the night having obviously been crying and asking questions like:
"What did he have that I didn't?" "Did you love him?" "Was he better in bed?" "Was he was better looking than me?" "Do you still think he's better looking than me?" "What does "more exciting" mean?" "Do you wish he gave you another chance?"
He says that he wants to be with me desperately but when he thinks about me, it's seared into his mind that I was always his first choice but he will always have been my second. It hurts him that we had feelings for each other all the way through high school but the moment I met Andy, none of that meant anything anymore which must have meant I thought Andy was worth my time and he wasn't.
It breaks my heart to hear him holding back his tears and trying to cry silently but I swear I'll do anything to save our relationship and part of that means not hiding anything from him. I've begged him to reconsider going to therapy but he absolutely will not budge. Some of our mutual friends are saying that they're not sure if he'll recover from this but I don't care, he hasn't told me to stop trying so I'm not going to.
I wish to God that I could go back and change the past because I love him more than anything including myself. It feels like I'm in some sort of surreal nightmare. Less than a month ago, we were laying in bed fighting over which of us got to name our kids and now a seemingly insignificant mistake that I made 7 years ago might wipe away the beautiful future I want with Ryan. All I can do right now is be there and hope that he can give me another chance but I don't know what he's thinking.
I know this isn't a common relationship problem but if anyone has anything they can give me whether it's advice or even reassurance that things are going to work out, please please tell me.
TL;DR: Our wedding is put off for now, he's moved to a hotel and we talk every day but he hasn't decided yet whether he still wants to be with me.

EDIT
He called an hour ago. Some of his friends found this Reddit post and showed it to him so he called angry asking why I would tell strangers about our personal problems and how is he supposed to face his friends and family now after they all know that the only reason I'm with him is because Andy broke up with me.
After reading the comments he realised that it wasn't right for him to keep me in the dark for so long without making a decision. He's decided that we should go our separate ways so that I can decide whether it really is him that I want to be with and that he wasn't just the 'convenient' choice.
For now I can't describe how I'm feeling. It's like I'm so tired I just want to go to sleep forever. I know some of you have the impression that he's a horrible man but this was just a small fragment of our relationship and doesn't reflect who he is an individual in the slightest.
He's the guy who spent days learning about my major on top of his own studies so that he could help me study for exams and proofread my coursework. He spent thousands of his own hard-earned money to give my parents their dream vacation to Australia and insisted that I say I paid for it because they'd feel bad taking money from him.
When my ex threatened to leak nudes that I'd sent him when we were together, I was terrified that he would leave. He took me out to my favourite restaurant and said that there was nothing anyone else could do or say that would ever affect how much he loves me and then he asked me to marry him so I'd never have to worry about him leaving ever again.
My fianc� is the best man that I've never known and the assumptions that everyone here has made from hearing about such a small part of our lives is disgusting and I didn't come here for people to convince me that he's immature, insecure or any of that. I should've known better than to post here but all I can hope for now is that he sees this.

To my fianc�,
I don't know what I can say to make this better and I don't know if you'll be able to heal from this. What I can say is that you are wrong in thinking that I chose you out of convenience. I chose you because you're the most thoughtful, handsome, intelligent and charming man that I've ever known.
Every single moment that we've had together for the last 7 years, every kiss that we've shared, every bagel that we've split and every "I love you" that I've said was meant for you and was an affirmation that you are and always will be my first choice.
I don't believe that you want to cut our lives together short. I think that you were trying to heal from the consequences of a mistake that I made and then I inadvertently set a fire underneath you by forcing you to come to a decision by making this post.
Take as long as you need to do whatever it is that you need to do to heal from this and I'll be here waitingn for when you're ready to talk. If you decide that this is something that we can not overcome, I would accept your decision but I know we are stronger than this.
I love you so so much.

EDIT #2
I know this is starting to get really long but he read my open letter and got in contact with me to say that he's not promising anything except that he'll listen.
He still refuses to see a therapist because he doesn't view our relationship as strong enough that there's anything to salvage right now. However, some people here have expressed that they wish they could give him advice directly and I've convinced him to talk to others who have experienced this and healed from it.
If you've experienced something similar, please ask for his throwaway either in your response to this post or by PM-ing me. Thank you.

FINAL UPDATE
Before I get into the update, I want to say that I asked my ex-fiance before posting this and he said it's fine as long as I don't give away any details that could reveal us to more of our friends and family. I've always been the type of person who values other people's input when it comes to making big decisions and he knows that.
A lot has happened since the last update. After we spoke, he went completely quiet for around 2 weeks for time to think. The waiting was almost unbearable but he promised that as soon as he had an answer for me, he would contact me. I wasn't allowed to come to his hotel to drop off food, try to see him or any sort of contact.
When he finally called, the first thing that he established was that our relationship was over. However, despite our relationship ending he still wants to be with me. If I still want to be with him, we can restart our relationship completely from the beginning with the board wiped clean. In his own words: "While you look back at our relationship and see something wonderful I look back at it in disgust because you lied by omission every single day".
Initially, I was ready to agree on the spot but he insisted that I take the week to decide whether I really want this. His logic is that if I choose to restart our relationship from the beginning now, he will be my first choice.
Later on in the week it began to settle what this would mean. I would go from fianc�e back to girlfriend, I don't know when he is going to propose again, I don't want children until we're married so I don't know how long that's going to be. In short, it would completely throw off the life plans we had. I asked for a little more time and he doesn't want me to resent him in the future so agreed to give me as much time as I needed to come to a decision.
This is a better outcome than I expected and maybe better than I deserve but I would be lying if I said that I don't wish things could go back to normal. I've decided that I'm going to agree to starting over. It just really hurts that the past 7 years don't mean anything anymore. Not long ago we celebrated our 7th anniversary but this time next year, we'll be celebrating our 1st anniversary again.
TL;DR: He broke up with me but gave me the option of starting over with a new relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. That would rectify my mistake and make him my first choice. I've had some time to think and I've decided that I'm going to agree.

EDIT
He read the post and wanted to address some of the comments.
1. If we do restart our relationship he won't hold anything over my head. It'll be exactly as he said and our relationship would start over completely. He's so confident of this that he insists I leave him if he ever slips up and brings it up when we argue.
2. Some people have said that being "first" is just an arbitrary construct but that doesn't mean anything. Marriage is a construct, monogamy is an construct etc. Something being a construct doesn't make it any less real or capable of inflicting pain.
3. A reminder that this isn't about me dating people before him. He doesn't care that about that. He cares that I knew him for years, that we had a bond in high school and that he waited until we were in college so we could officially be a couple but I picked someone else I barely knew.
4. It's come up very often that the length of our relationship should have some influence over his decisions. He says It does because it makes it even worse. I never told him about what happened during those 6 months while we were together. On top of that I wasn't the one to tell him in the end. We know everything about each other so he can only assume that I consciously hid it from him.
"I'm not insecure, fragile or irrational. The fact is that our old relationship is now ruined in my eyes. It's ruined because she took away my ability to make an informed decision 7 years ago. If I had known the circumstances of her return I'm not afraid to say that I would've told her to go f**k herself. Now I'm giving her the option to restart our relationship with me knowing all the facts. This time we'll be equals."

It�s like the matrix but she�s actually jumping into the bullets path as it does it�s best to miss

# ? Nov 16, 2021 20:59

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Holy gently caress. :magical:

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:02

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

I feel like that friend knew she was tossing a bit of grenade but didn't realize it was a nuke

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:02

Harold Fjord: Jan 3, 2004

What a giant loving baby

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:07

The Chad Jihad: Feb 24, 2007

Raking yourself over the coals to hold onto this gem

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:15

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

quote:

TL;DR: He broke up with me but gave me the option of starting over with a new relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. That would rectify my mistake and make him my first choice. I've had some time to think and I've decided that I'm going to agree.

This is a really good example of something that i could see happening in a rom com/twee sitcom like parks and rec that is absolutely insane in real life

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:16

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

quote:

I chose you because you're the most thoughtful, handsome, intelligent and charming man that I've ever known.

I sure hope not

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:17

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Dramatika posted:

My Fiance wants to end our relationship because I didn't choose him first

It’s like the matrix but she’s actually jumping into the bullets path as it does it’s best to miss

I don't know what the hell I just read but whatever it is should be illegal.

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:19

Jonny Nox: Apr 26, 2008

BabyFur Denny posted:

Ex told me I emasculated him because I wanted him to wash properly.

Washing your butt turns you gay, be careful folks.

�Quote on Quote� is why I�m pro Global Warming.

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:19

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Brawnfire posted:

Dinner course choices: Fish, Beef, Veggie

Dessert course choices: Chocolate cake, ice cream sundae , fruit salad

Intercourse choices: Anal, PIV, oral

I demand a Vegan Handjob or I won't attend !

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:23

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I keep vacillating between "he sounds like the most exhausting person in the universe and she should dump him" and "they sound like the most exhausting people in the universe and they should marry to keep them away from other people."

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:26

Computer viking: May 30, 2011; Now with less breakage.

Uncle Enzo posted:

Yeah generally the options are "the law steps in" or "somebody shoots somebody"

Also lol property lines almost certainly don't move with a body of water and most assuredly not when it's being maliciously tampered with.

I know at least one international border that's re-surveyed every decade because the official border line follows the middle of the deepest part of the river. It's absolutely a thing.

e: Water Boundaries-- What Are Your Rights And Liabilities?

Jenkins, Bowen and Walker, P.C. (Georgia) posted:

A. WATER COURSE AS BOUNDARY
Water courses, such as streams, lakes, rivers, seas and so forth, are frequently used as boundaries. Different rules apply to the different types of bodies of waters, as to how the boundary is ascertained. Different rules also apply to the ownership of the waters issue, discussed below under Riparian Rights.

1. Streams and Watercourses
a. Non-navigable

If the boundary between two properties is a non-navigable stream, the property runs to the "thread" or center of the main current. Each property owner would control essentially half. O.C.G.A. � 44-8-2; Outlaw v. Outlaw, 225 Ga. 100, 165 S.E.2d 845 (1969). This is presumed to be the intent of the deed unless otherwise is specifically stated. For example, if the deed states that the property line begins on the west bank of the Chattahoochee River from there eastward, that intention will control, and the deed would convey the entire riverbed. Westmoreland v. Beutell, 153 Ga.App. 558, 266 S.E.2d 260 (1980).

This seems to line up with UK law, so I suspect it's something inherited from there - and thus presumably the same through large parts of the US?

e2: Though that leaves the tampering. I assume the stream being the boundary means tampering with the lay of the stream is effectively tampering with a border, which is one of those few things everyone everywhere seem to agree is a crime.

Computer viking fucked around with this message at 21:58 on Nov 16, 2021

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:34

Gnossiennes: Jan 7, 2013; Loving chairs more every day!

and rivers/creeks meander on their own surprisingly rapidly, eg if the mississippi were let loose it would've drained out the atchafalaya basin decades ago

# ? Nov 16, 2021 21:48

The Harlatan: Sep 10, 2013; For I am a cat, you see.

Dramatika posted:

My Fiance wants to end our relationship because I didn't choose him first

It’s like the matrix but she’s actually jumping into the bullets path as it does it’s best to miss

Odds that the guy was using the break so that he could try to have sex with someone else and get her so twisted up in guilt about a non-issue that she wouldn't ever come at him for it?

# ? Nov 16, 2021 22:09

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

quantumwell posted:

I demand a Vegan Handjob or I won't attend !

Most Vegans don't like to handle meat, I understand

# ? Nov 16, 2021 22:16

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

They're gonna be great parents

# ? Nov 16, 2021 22:22

Doctor J Off: Dec 28, 2005; There Is

Brand new one from R_A

"I Wish I Had Jessie's Girl"

Way Too Old For This posted:

Alright guys with a girlfriend. I'm 28 and I'm not cool and never cool with my girl having male friends. Is anyone else like that?

That's the whole thing. Seems that there's a hell of a lot to unpack here, from the song chorus to communicate his meaning, teenage drama nearing 30, and overall vagueness of the post

# ? Nov 16, 2021 22:40

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

There's a bunch of places in europe where the borders were set at a river but the river has moved but he old borders remain. Rivers don't make great borders.

# ? Nov 16, 2021 22:42

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Uncle ShortyB posted:

He is 86 years old and when we built our house in 2019 seemed friendly.
....
My husband took the extreme measure of putting on camo and sitting in his deer stand after dark to see if he could catch the neighbor and sure enough, he caught this man with his sons and grandkids shoveling dirt from our creek banks, removing rocks, etc and using them to reinforce their side of the bank.

# ? Nov 16, 2021 23:00

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Baronjutter posted:

There's a bunch of places in europe where the borders were set at a river but the river has moved but he old borders remain. Rivers don't make great borders.

I love the tiny triangle of land that's near the top of the river but belongs to France because you cannot, under any circumstance, cede that land to Belgium because it's strategically vital

reminds me of when a Belgian farmer moved a marker 2 meters and caused a minor incident by enlarging Belgian territory: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-56978344

# ? Nov 16, 2021 23:16

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Doctor J Off posted:

Brand new one from R_A

"I Wish I Had Jessie's Girl"

That's the whole thing. Seems that there's a hell of a lot to unpack here, from the song chorus to communicate his meaning, teenage drama nearing 30, and overall vagueness of the post

It's so confusing, the song reference doesn't even match up with the post. The song is lusting after a friend's (Jessie) GF, and the post is about the GF having guy friends other than through the OP.

# ? Nov 16, 2021 23:18

AmiYumi: Oct 10, 2005; I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG

Dramatika posted:

My Fiance wants to end our relationship because I didn't choose him first

It�s like the matrix but she�s actually jumping into the bullets path as it does it�s best to miss

I decided �yeah, not reading that� from the title and kept feeling more and more vindicated as I scrolled, and scrolled

�and scrolled :magical:

# ? Nov 16, 2021 23:19

zombienietzsche: Dec 9, 2003

Bruceski posted:

It's so confusing, the song reference doesn't even match up with the post. The song is lusting after a friend's (Jessie) GF, and the post is about the GF having guy friends other than through the OP.

I spent too long thinking about it and landed on him assuming that any guy friends "his" girl has will be lusting after his girl the same way the song is lusting after Jessie's girl.

# ? Nov 16, 2021 23:28

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

limp_cheese posted:

HFCS has a terrible aftertaste and seems to leave a film or something in my mouth that makes me feel like I need to brush my teeth. American Coke is terrible but you better believe I get a Medican Coke when I go to a local mexican place. The cane sugar just doesn't have the aftertaste or mouth feel.

A million pages back, but I've always hated Coke for the film it leaves in my mouth. Never had an explanation for it and I'm surprised more people don't notice/hate it, but I feel vindicated.

Thank you.

# ? Nov 16, 2021 23:36

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

As a side note, I always parse the chorus as "I wish I was Jessie's girl" which puts a fun modern spin on things.

# ? Nov 16, 2021 23:37

Gnossiennes: Jan 7, 2013; Loving chairs more every day!

Das Boo posted:

A million pages back, but I've always hated Coke for the film it leaves in my mouth. Never had an explanation for it and I'm surprised more people don't notice/hate it, but I feel vindicated.

Thank you.

same, it's reason #1 i'll take a diet coke/coke zero over a regular coke any day, it makes my teeth and tongue feel just disgustingly fuzzy. even juice or aguas frescas, despite being about the same level of sugar, don't leave near as much of a gross film imo

# ? Nov 16, 2021 23:48

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

spacetoaster posted:

Filing a criminal/civil complaint for trespass/vandalism (or whatever the local statute is) might work if the husband can get video of them doing it and document everything.

Rural legal systems are loving wrathful about protecting property and water access.

a swat on the wrist will take care of some dopes like this but the dude's in his eighties and they both sound like they have shitloads of money, they're probably stuck being his hobby until he dies

on the plus side nobody's gonna ask too many questions when he does, y'know

# ? Nov 17, 2021 00:27

Doctor J Off: Dec 28, 2005; There Is

zombienietzsche posted:

I spent too long thinking about it and landed on him assuming that any guy friends "his" girl has will be lusting after his girl the same way the song is lusting after Jessie's girl.

It seemed to me he was saying that he generally desires all of his friends' girlfriends, but it's too unclear to really understand

# ? Nov 17, 2021 00:32

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Baronjutter posted:

There's a bunch of places in europe where the borders were set at a river but the river has moved but he old borders remain. Rivers don't make great borders.

There's also a place like that on the US-Mexico border. It was being occupied by Americans until Johnson cleared them out and agreed that it should be part of Mexico.

# ? Nov 17, 2021 00:35

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Kenshin posted:

oh god let's not start this again

In Europe This Is Very Normal

Wait people were defending or at least not laughing at that kind of crusty old crap?

# ? Nov 17, 2021 01:54

Solenna: Jun 5, 2003; I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

Dramatika posted:

My Fiance wants to end our relationship because I didn't choose him first

It’s like the matrix but she’s actually jumping into the bullets path as it does it’s best to miss

I like the part where he stopped talking to her for 6 months because she turned him down and was then all loving pissed she didn't tell him she was seeing someone. While he wasn't talking to her.

# ? Nov 17, 2021 02:03

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

My husband (31M) of 5 years said he would leave me if I (29F) don�t carry on his family naming tradition (that he previously said he did not want to participate in) for our baby. I don�t want him to do that but I also don�t want to name my potential son an awful name. What should I do?

quote:

I have always looked forward to naming a child or a pet one day and since my pets all came with names this will be my first time naming someone. I was so excited�until my husband insisted out of nowhere that we name our son his exact full name. First name, middle name one, middle name two, and of course the long hyphenated last name we now share plus �the fifth�.

I am not comfortable with this idea at all. I reject the idea of this naming tradition on principle. For 3 generations in my husband�s family not a single woman had input in naming her first son? I absolutely disagree with this. Plus none of the names are really my taste and the first name in particular is an absolutely awful name. In fact, my husband was embarrassed to even tell me his full name when we started dating. I will not do that to my son.

I have been obsessed with names for as long as I can remember. I am always on r/namenerds and making naming lists and looking up name origins and meanings. Names are basically a hobby of mine. I�m telling you all this because my husband knows all this too and before we even got married we talked all the time about names we liked, names we didn�t like and what names we might name our future kids.

The conversation about carrying on his family naming traditional of course came up and he has stated multiple times over the years that he had no interest doing this. I made it clear that I didn�t want to do that either. He has also frequently brought up not liking that the name he goes by isn�t on his ID or stuff at work and he thinks it�s dumb to name someone something you don�t intend to call them.

All of these previous conversations had me feeling blindsided last Friday when my husband sprung this on me. I don�t even know where this is coming from. He told me this was �non-negotiable� and basically gave me a divorce ultimatum if I don�t go along with this and also insinuated that he doesn�t want to co-parent a child with me if it�s this hard before the birth.

It�s just honestly not like my husband at all to act this way and I am so conflicted on what to do. I know that I am NOT going to be going along with this name but I am absolutely gutted at the thought of my husband leaving me. I have been with him for all of my twenties and I love him so much. I don�t even know how I would raise a child alone.

I don�t even know if I am having a son or a daughter yet. I am halfway along in my pregnancy and I have no intention of finding out until the baby arrives. If I have a girl this will all have been pointless. I haven�t even told anyone yet about this and I just feel really alone and just need some advice.

TL;DR Husband threatened divorce out of nowhere if I don�t make our potential son "Pnurtis V�. I will not name our potential son this name, but I also don�t want my husband to leave me. This is all out of the blue and I�m looking for insight on my situation to help me decide what to do. Thanks.

alright i editorialised a little

# ? Nov 17, 2021 02:07

Computer viking: May 30, 2011; Now with less breakage.

Baronjutter posted:

There's a bunch of places in europe where the borders were set at a river but the river has moved but he old borders remain. Rivers don't make great borders.

It does indeed work best when the border doesn't run through any built-up areas. The Norwegian-Russian and Swedish-Finnish borders have large sections that are set by rivers, and are readjusted every now and then to avoid that sort of situation. There's nothing more complicated than maybe a parking lot with a bench anywhere near those stretches, though.

# ? Nov 17, 2021 02:20

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

Thundercloud posted:

Raising one of your siblings children as your own used to be fairly normal in Anglo Saxon times, when birth control didn't exist and people were making GBS threads out kids left and right. Hence Sweostor Nifts being a special relationship and turning up a lot in things like Arthurian literature.

But people are psycho as poo poo on AITA, so people doing open family adoption with sensible arrangements and boundaries are not going to turn up there.

My wife's from a family like this. She was the oldest of two girls and her parents got pregnant a third time and they got a boy which they wanted so the oldest girl (wife) went to live with her bio father's sister and husband who had no children of their own. This was in China during 1 child policy, they are Miao minority so allowed to have two children.

# ? Nov 17, 2021 02:25

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Mx. posted:

My husband (31M) of 5 years said he would leave me if I (29F) don�t carry on his family naming tradition (that he previously said he did not want to participate in) for our baby. I don�t want him to do that but I also don�t want to name my potential son an awful name. What should I do?

alright i editorialised a little

This is why I'm glad my family's naming tradition is just to put a y in there somewhere that fits. And by tradition I mean "Mervyn and Gladys decided it'd be cute a hundred years ago, and nobody's disagreed yet. No biggie." Sometimes it's first name, sometimes middle. Sometimes it's the more common spelling, sometimes less but still doesn't stand out. Just a bit of a family easter egg.

# ? Nov 17, 2021 03:02

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I mean, you can give whatever name you want in our family, but if you want to inherit the power of the sacred beast as is our pacts birthright you have to accept the name the guardian spirit chose, Bertha

# ? Nov 17, 2021 03:05

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# ? May 28, 2024 23:09

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Mx. posted:

My husband (31M) of 5 years said he would leave me if I (29F) don�t carry on his family naming tradition (that he previously said he did not want to participate in) for our baby. I don�t want him to do that but I also don�t want to name my potential son an awful name. What should I do?

Of course the stupid OP, after making a post tearing her hair and rending her garments about how awful and disgusting the name is doesn't tell us what the stupid name is in the comments.

The name's been in the family for 5 generations? And the husband's doing a 180 on this after years of being on OP's side? Maybe the family are Vanderbilts or something and if they don't name their son Cornelius Pnurtis Agammemnon Johnson-Vanderbilt V, he'll be disinherited but they only dropped this bomb on the husband after he told the Corny III that he isn't playing ball. That would be an unenviable situation but just name him that and call him something else, that's what all various scions of the Rockefeller family, who are compelled to name their first male heirs "John" do:

commenter posted:

This sounds like family pressure. Are his parents rich? Are they maybe holding some kind of inheritance hostage over the name.

OP posted:

Nobody is rich and my husband doesn�t have a relationship with his father anyway.

Oh, of course this reasonable out isn't at play and her husband is just being a huge piece of poo poo for literally no reason at all. I don't know what I expected. Carry on.

# ? Nov 17, 2021 03:11

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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