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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Welcome to The Company™

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xcheopis


My job itself is ok. It's the contractors and our finance team that keeping loving things up.

Everywhere, everyone is red and green
I gotta lust for glory and a tape machine
I'm living out Frank Coppola's dreams
Outta my mind, I'm feelin' mean

NumptyScrub

damn it I think the mirrors broken >˙.(
I like my team and I enjoy the job itself, but the work never loving ends and oh my orb I get so tired sometimes

Hamjobs how do we send you virtual hugs because I realise I am still sitting pretty compared to some of your stories :glomp:

xcheopis


NumptyScrub posted:

I like my team and I enjoy the job itself, but the work never loving ends and oh my orb I get so tired sometimes

Hamjobs how do we send you virtual hugs because I realise I am still sitting pretty compared to some of your stories :glomp:

The days where my alarm goes off and my first thought it, "I don't think I can do this anymore" are increasing in frequency.

Everywhere, everyone is red and green
I gotta lust for glory and a tape machine
I'm living out Frank Coppola's dreams
Outta my mind, I'm feelin' mean

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


xcheopis posted:

The days where my alarm goes off and my first thought it, "I don't think I can do this anymore" are increasing in frequency.

This. I'm hanging on for bonuses and that's it. I cleared another $40k bonus hurdle today. I'm going to be sitting on a pile of cash and not doing things if this goes well.

Also lol I hate everything.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


If I cost enough money to my boss maybe he'll fire me so I can go back to being a goblin full time.

hot cocoa on the couch

Mormon Nailer posted:

If I cost enough money to my boss maybe he'll fire me so I can go back to being a goblin full time.

that's my dream

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN



Join me in my trash pile where we:

  • Scream at own rear end
  • Eat of garbage
  • No job
  • No gods
  • No masters
  • No pant

You can do the thing, yes, even you

hot cocoa on the couch

Mormon Nailer posted:

Join me in my trash pile where we:

  • Scream at own rear end
  • Eat of garbage
  • No job
  • No gods
  • No masters
  • No pant

You can do the thing, yes, even you

wow, inspiring list, mind if i add to it?

  • beer for/with most meals

Zil

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Mormon Nailer posted:

Join me in my trash pile where we:

  • Scream at own rear end
  • Eat of garbage
  • No job
  • No gods
  • No masters
  • No pant

You can do the thing, yes, even you

What's the rule on sleeping in on weekends?

NumptyScrub

damn it I think the mirrors broken >˙.(

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

wow, inspiring list, mind if i add to it?

  • beer for/with most meals

How do I made toilet wine? :thunk:

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


NumptyScrub posted:

How do I made toilet wine? :thunk:

Okay so first you gotta save up all your fruit cups, and maybe your fruitopia and also some Ziploc bags, and then you gotta get your friggin milk of magnesia and chili

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


hot cocoa on the couch posted:

wow, inspiring list, mind if i add to it?

  • beer for/with most meals

I mean ok but I don't drink anymore, I'll just smoke even more weed

Zil posted:

What's the rule on sleeping in on weekends?

The rule is you gotta

empty whippet box

by Fluffdaddy
the boomers that are in my training group inexplicably cannot get through a single 3 minute youtube video without having tech issues so bad they need help from 3 different people at once. it's honestly impressive to watch it in action.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


My boss just called me panicked and left a voice mail telling me his computer died.

I guarantee he unplugged it again. But, it could really be dead. It's fifteen loving years old and he won't let me upgrade it.

Escape From Noise

RIP compooper

Sarah Cenia

Laying in the forest, by the water
Underneath these ferns
You'll never find me
OK, Computer?

NumptyScrub

damn it I think the mirrors broken >˙.(

Mormon Nailer posted:

My boss just called me panicked and left a voice mail telling me his computer died.

I guarantee he unplugged it again. But, it could really be dead. It's fifteen loving years old and he won't let me upgrade it.

Wow what is he so panicked about that it has to remain inviolate? Tell him to use his phone instead because it is the better computer. My current phone is literally better spec in every way than my $2000 gaming rig from 15 years ago lol

Also that is legit an option, the CEO of my place does not use a laptop and works exclusively from tablet and phone.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


NumptyScrub posted:

Wow what is he so panicked about that it has to remain inviolate? Tell him to use his phone instead because it is the better computer. My current phone is literally better spec in every way than my $2000 gaming rig from 15 years ago lol

Also that is legit an option, the CEO of my place does not use a laptop and works exclusively from tablet and phone.

Lol I'm the CTO of a failing small business and before that I worked for a FAANG long term and my boss thinks I do not know how to computer until he panics

He literally has to use a dumb phone because he is bad at computer

DaChurl

I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Physically present at work but I can't get my brain to engage so nothing is getting accomplished.

Did you know that sitting at a desk compulsively solving sudoku puzzles for the tiny hits of dopamine that don't come from actual work looks exactly like productivity to the outside observer?

Sarah Cenia

Laying in the forest, by the water
Underneath these ferns
You'll never find me
I like to look up the houses of recently deceased people while I'm at work and fantasize about living in the really nice ones. It's interesting to see where they lived anyway.

Looking through the log books from, like, 1913 to see people's old timey causes of death is my poo poo though. Stuff like
"Perpetual sadness"
"Timber felling accident"
"Accidental poisoning - ingestion of aftershave"
"Grippe"
"The consumption"

NumptyScrub

damn it I think the mirrors broken >˙.(

Mormon Nailer posted:

He literally has to use a dumb phone because he is bad at computer

Oh holy lol I thought you mean "this stupid phone" initially and just twigged you actually meant non-smart aka feature phone

I think he might actually be too dumb to boss as well :v:

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


NumptyScrub posted:

Oh holy lol I thought you mean "this stupid phone" initially and just twigged you actually meant non-smart aka feature phone

I think he might actually be too dumb to boss as well :v:

He's...a trip lol.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Achtane posted:

I like to look up the houses of recently deceased people while I'm at work and fantasize about living in the really nice ones. It's interesting to see where they lived anyway.

Looking through the log books from, like, 1913 to see people's old timey causes of death is my poo poo though. Stuff like
"Perpetual sadness"
"Timber felling accident"
"Accidental poisoning - ingestion of aftershave"
"Grippe"
"The consumption"

Just go on and put Perpetual Sadness as my gender on everything now so it's fine

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


...so anyway I'm here until literally January 31st by the powers of dragging out my bonus since I'm also sales.

Oh my gods.

Gramps


Mormon Nailer posted:

...so anyway I'm here until literally January 31st by the powers of dragging out my bonus since I'm also sales.

Oh my gods.

Holy loving gently caress a job

How many more millions in sales are you gonna make between now and then? Fuckin hell man I'm stoked you have a firm GTFO date but goddamn

NumptyScrub

damn it I think the mirrors broken >˙.(

Mormon Nailer posted:

...so anyway I'm here until literally January 31st by the powers of dragging out my bonus since I'm also sales.

Oh my gods.

Born to vend
Job is a gently caress
Sell 'em all 1989
I am trash orb
420,069,069,420 SMOKED WEEDS

DaChurl

I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Current mood: emailing a client from my phone in the bathroom and implying that the reason I haven't started on his request is because I've been out of the office and won't be back until Monday.

Also, yeah gently caress that bonus delaying bullshit. If the invoices have been paid, they have the cash on hand to pay you your cut. Glad you've got a firm date to walk out of there in slow motion while the building explodes behind you.

empty whippet box

by Fluffdaddy
three more hours of work and it'd the HECKIGN WEKAND FRIND ORBOS!!!!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Finger Prince


I swear this last hour has lasted as long as the all the hours before it combined.

empty whippet box

by Fluffdaddy
it's my birthday and i work until 9 pm, thinking about trying to convince my training group to sing me happy birthday on the zoom call just to troll the poo poo out of everyone.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

DaChurl

I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Happy birthday!
I say go full on obnoxious with it for the zoom call. Party hat, streamers and balloons in the background a shirt proclaiming you to be the birthday orb. If you can get them to agree to singing, say "Great! Gimme one second." then turn out the lights and light candles on a cake or other desert of your choice to really complete the ambiance.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Happy birthday even if you're at work, whippet, you're cool as hell.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Also it's BIG SCORPIO ENERGY SEASON so make them all wait while you unwrap "birthday presents" on zoom but it's literally your keyboard, mouse, office supplies, etc., and then profusely thank your local network weather anchor until you get muted. It's what Jesus would want.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Gramps posted:

Holy loving gently caress a job

How many more millions in sales are you gonna make between now and then? Fuckin hell man I'm stoked you have a firm GTFO date but goddamn

Per my boss I have to close this last bigass sale to a chain of indie hotels before 12/31 or I don't get my big chunk of bonus at all, even though contractually he's obligated and the board will make him pay me anyway, so it doesn't matter, because I already exceeded targets by ~8500% this year based on sheer luck of the draw in a competitor tanking entirely. So honestly I'm just doing my best to continue to be busy so I'm distracted, and then when I leave, I have 2 weeks of down time, then ramp up into New Job which is thankfully not even sales. Because I wasn't even hired for anything I do, and I'm okay with what I AM doing, but I would prefer to do what I was hired to do because I enjoy that. Sales is fine and I'm ok at it but it's mentally and physically very draining to be "on" all the time.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


But hey we get free snacks on payday Friday even though our checks don't hit the bank until Monday because it costs an extra $1.50 or employee to have them instantly deposit and we literally have six employees including my boss.

Escape From Noise

Happy birthday 2 u!
U belong in da zoo! :evilbuddy:

JK! Happy birthday for real, my friend!

cruft

Just lost a third key staff member in my training events. They like the conference but with the massive churn they're seeing in their organization, they aren't going to have time to help.

That's three people in as many months. I'm now drawing up plans for how to scale the thing down in case somebody else quits.

Sarah Cenia

Laying in the forest, by the water
Underneath these ferns
You'll never find me
My coworker just came into the office with a "cold", and he's worried it'll keep him from practicing with his church band. The same one where everyone, including him, got covid a month ago. And his wife works in a covid ward.

JESUS DOESNT WANT YOU TO GET PEOPLE SICK, BRO

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NumptyScrub

damn it I think the mirrors broken >˙.(

Achtane posted:

My coworker just came into the office with a "cold", and he's worried it'll keep him from practicing with his church band. The same one where everyone, including him, got covid a month ago. And his wife works in a covid ward.

JESUS DOESNT WANT YOU TO GET PEOPLE SICK, BRO

Some people are wilfully blind to how their actions and decisions affect others. :10bux: says even if you confronted them about it they'd make excuses and fail to change their behaviour, they have already rationalised it to themselves as acceptable :ughh:

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