(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Random rear end in a top hat posted:Thanks again for your support, everybody. That's great news about your mom! Remember that home care outside of hospice exists too, if she still needs regular assistance. Doesn't even have to be nursing, some services can do non-medical day/night assistance to give you some time away. I don't know your full situation but it's easy to get held back by "who's gonna take care of X" if you're somebody's caregiver, and neglecting your own life isn't what anybody wants.
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Nov 15, 2021 01:19
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| # ? May 25, 2024 13:34 |
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I think this is an incredibly important topic that is immediately shot down by a number of mental healthcare professionals. I'm retreading stuff I've been talking about recently, but I find it helpful. I struggled with "depression" (undiagnosed bipolar disorder, which involved mostly deep depressive states) for a long time before going to an intensive outpatient cognitive behavioral therapy program. Everyone working at the program treated my depression as a temporary state that would pass. Even back then, I knew that was bullshit. After my first decade of struggling with this, I learned about the concept of "validation." It's the mere acknowledgement that what you're going through is real. It seems incredibly obvious in retrospect, but it didn't even occur to me that it could be a thing. I didn't get it anywhere for a very long time. I'm not saying it's going to fix anything, but the least we can do for each other is acknowledge what they're going through. I've found it to be incredibly useful for coming to terms with my mental health and my self-worth. It makes me feel a bit less lonely and less crazy. I've received validation from some therapists and psychiatrists/psychiatric nurse practitioners. I always get validation at my NAMI support group. When I was in crisis not too long ago, I spent 24 hours at a mental health urgent care center. I remember talking to the therapist about how I was trying to be more open about my mental health struggles. I mentioned that a lot of employers don't want to hire someone with a mental illness, and she told me that I wasn't being "recovery oriented." She didn't even want me to acknowledge the existence of discrimination. I don't remember if I mentioned this before, but I didn't graduate high school. I had good grades before the bipolar disorder fully kicked in. My grades would have been enough to graduate after enduring the untreated bipolar disorder for the rest of my time in high school. However, I was straight-up punished for my struggles. Our local school board eliminated the "D" grade as incentive for students to do better, or some such bullshit. If you had less than a 70% in a class, you failed. I was able to maintain that 70%, and a lot better in some subjects. They also instituted a rule that lowered ALL of your grades for a semester by an entire letter if you had too many "unexcused" absences. If you had even more absences, they would lower your grades by another letter. I ended up receiving B's and C's from teachers, only to have them turned into F's by schoolboard fuckery. I never gave up. I tried hard as hell. I was told by everyone around me that I failed. I never dropped out, and I feel like I earned a diploma. They never gave me one, though. I went straight to college after high school, and tried to get my diploma by transferring college credits back to the high school. They had by then implemented an exit exam program. I would need to take a week of testing to get the diploma, and that conflicted with my college classes. When I finally had the credits and the free time to get the diploma, they told me too much time had elapsed. I'd never receive my diploma, but I could take a test for a GED. By then, I realized no one was actually asking for a diploma. I didn't bother with the GED until after I earned my master's degree. I see at as a kind of funny story in retrospect, but it's hard not to be bitter. I was actively punished for a health condition. There's so much loving discrimination, and we're expected to treat that as in internal problem for us to work on. That was upsetting, and set my life on a worse trajectory. I got through it, but this discrimination permeates our society. There's a massive lack of social services in the US, and all kinds of authority figures will actively gently caress you over if you don't fit in. Having a mental illness is hard enough, but dealing with all of the other bullshit piled on top of it can feel insurmountable. This discrimination leads to all kinds of worse mental health outcomes, including death. There's been a huge lack of validation in my life outside of peer support. I don't want anyone else to experience this. I have a hard time coming to terms with the limits of my ability to help myself and others. ACES CURE PLANES mentioned survivorship bias. I know I experience it. I see people working the NAMI program and improving. I don't see the people who couldn't make it work. I think I'm only still around because I had my parents to fall back on. Maybe I'm more resilient than I give myself credit for? It's really hard to find a reason to live when people around you are treating you like an awful person who is loving up on purpose. I internalized that message, and I'm still trying to shake it. I've completely run out of patience for the liberals and fascists telling people to just pull up harder on their bootstraps. That's not directed at anyone in this thread. Love you all.
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Nov 15, 2021 06:00
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Uganda Loves Me posted:ACES CURE PLANES mentioned survivorship bias. I know I experience it. I see people working the NAMI program and improving. I don't see the people who couldn't make it work. I think I'm only still around because I had my parents to fall back on. Maybe I'm more resilient than I give myself credit for? It's really hard to find a reason to live when people around you are treating you like an awful person who is loving up on purpose. I internalized that message, and I'm still trying to shake it. I've completely run out of patience for the liberals and fascists telling people to just pull up harder on their bootstraps. That's not directed at anyone in this thread. Love you all. "Muddling Through, by Matthew Sitman posted:
StashAugustine has issued a correction as of 04:39 on Nov 16, 2021 |
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Nov 16, 2021 04:36
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Thank you. I read the entire article. It's so hard to find a realistic depiction of mental illness. I'm mostly thinking out loud in this thread, and trying to make sense of things. It's hard to have a productive conversation on these topics with the people I know. Also, I don't feel as hopeless and desperate these days. I have ups and downs, but I do my best to manage things. I agree that social connections are a huge deal. I had friends my whole life, but no one I really opened up to or connected with until recently. Opening up makes you incredibly vulnerable, so it's a risk. I think it's worth it. In a way, I feel lucky to live in a time and place where I can actually familiarize myself with mental health. There's a long way to go, but holy poo poo have we come a long way too. People have lived for generations and generations with a total lack of understanding for these issues. Simply having the right terminology is a big deal. I don't know how I would have made sense of my life if I was born a century ago. EDIT: The article url has a " at the end, which breaks the link. This should work: https://www.commonwealmagazine.org/muddling-through. Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 05:24 on Nov 16, 2021 |
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Nov 16, 2021 05:19
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Get into gardening for mental health they said. Ok, so I bought some pots, soil, and seeds. I put way too many seeds in in the spring, and they choked each other out until I put the pot in the sun and finished them off for good. Now I'm trying again, put seeds in pot. I don't overwater, I sprout them in 3 different kinds of ways to cover my bases, I spread them out. No sprouts, nothing. This is catnip too, essentially a weed, still can't do it. So now the thing that supposed to help me, just reminds me I'm a failure who can't succeed no matter how much thought or work I put into it.
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Nov 16, 2021 21:43
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Maybe get some small potted plants or whatever and just grow them bigger? If they die you're still making compost.
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Nov 17, 2021 00:25
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Shits real bad now. My toe is healing so I can finally walk again but the weight of all this is just so much. The panic attacks are getting more frequent, almost daily now. I basically can't have any interaction with mom or I will get triggered and freak out. Unfortunately due to the massive amount of poo poo I have to manage alone while working full time, I've started to fumble on dates and appointments. Particularly because I had to handle my own crisis concurrently with moms. The latest was that I had appointments for both my and mom's psychiatrists that i had accidentally booked on the same day. Mom missed hers last week so I don't want her to miss again. Next appointments for both are into December. So I rescheduled. I have to make it until the second of December somehow despite feeling like this. I don't know how I'm supposed to do it. The psychiatrist just said sorry. I've essentially been begging my sister for help for at least a month now and she just absolutely will not do it. I'm at wits end. I tell people over and over I'm literally being hospitalized for panic attacks from all this stress and they just tell me to do more work I have no time to do. I'm working towards getting mom into a home but even that's going to require colossal amounts of paperwork. I also have to reapply for financial aid from the hospital or they are going to come at me for 10 grand I don't have and can't get. On top of that I also have to gently caress around with the state to renew my driver's license, a task made considerably more difficult given as I live in a right wing shithole that wants to deny people ID so they can't vote. Work is getting worse given as one of my coworkers may actually die very soon due to heart failure, meaning I'll have to work more or lose my insurance. We've been swarmed by the worst people alive for a while now too, despite the cold weather it's still confederate dipshits, now bolstered by "people" from Wyoming and North Dakota, who I do not know if I could describe without going all cut down the tall trees. If any of these greedy, willfully ignorant trash had done the right thing instead of intentionally collapsing our medical system to own the libs, I'd probably be ok now. I'm really tired. I hardly eat. I often can't sleep or get woken up. Im afraid I might be actually dying. I tell people this and no one will help. My mind is starting to go into really dark places now. I'm terrified that something bad, something I can't take back is going to happen and no one seems to care in the slightest.
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Nov 17, 2021 01:27
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Consider looking into Federal Emergency Medical Leave. yeah it might gently caress over your coworkers but they can't fire you...or remove your insurance, until you're back from it. If you have any kind of workers rep and/or your doctor probably has experience in filling those out.
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Nov 17, 2021 01:46
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skooma512 posted:So now the thing that supposed to help me, just reminds me I'm a failure who can't succeed no matter how much thought or work I put into it. Success isnt growing a plant, it's learning how to grow a plant. CaptainACAB that sucks and sounds insanely hard.
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Nov 17, 2021 13:22
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The learning is the goal, but it's also finding something you can enjoy and want. Sometimes you have to try things you don't know if you'll like, but if you choose not to you won't be the first person, there are lots of people who don't connect with it. Point is, your first go at it says literally nothing about your capabilities or value, gardening or otherwise. Whether you want to try again is up to you, and similarly says nothing about you other than you want to learn to garden or you don't. If you stopped now, you have already succeeded in trying something on a recommendation, you didn't commit to being a good or lifelong gardener.
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Nov 17, 2021 20:04
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A couple of days ago, a young woman approached me for a lighter, then asked me for a lift as she'd been walking all day. Come to find out she walked in on her bf cheating and he threw her out. what I observed of her seemed to check out with her story -- she was too clean to have been homeless, and the two bags she had with her were full of seemingly random things. I'd been in similar straits myself, and made myself a promise that I'd help anybody else out going through the same poo poo. So I took her with me to lunch. Asked in the 'yob for help, and took their advice. She hung out in my truck while I tried to call around to find help for her, only to find out every shelter I called had a loving waiting list. And every shelter I talked to ended up referring me to places that referred me back to the first group I called. I couldn't even imagine how the gently caress the actual homeless have to deal with this horseshit. It got later and later and we still weren't any closer to getting a place for her. She hadn't been in town for long (4 months), no friends. Dead ma, dad in jail. So, I made the executive decision to let her crash on our couch. This is what I was writing as an update: quote:Right. So start this update off by recalling one of the evergreen standards in the illustriously infamous history of something awful. An occurrence, a set of circumstances that develops so goddamned often that nitzchse would stop weeping over a horse long enough to point and laugh at being proven right *again.* Time, flat circle, syphilis, gently caress it, nothing matters, whatever. Took half a day off to see if we could figure out where she could go. She said she had a friend who worked at one of the casinos in the city, and could crash with her. My gut check told me that was the first time she had lied to me the entire time. She said she was getting a phone, so I gave her my phone number and told her to get in touch with me as soon as she could. I went back to work but my heart wasn't loving in it. Cried in my office. Still sad and angry the next day, so here I am. Now, I'm not just angry that a system has failed *by design* to the loving point to where it took some random dickhead like me to be the first one to give a poo poo about her (ran some thoughts by a mod; talking about what should happen to specific billionaires even without the "violent sexual imagery" in the first draft is still bannable). Oh no, friends, I am also angry at every one of the loving lectures people gave me when they hear what happened. Apparently poor people are little better than nuisance animals, because they could rob me, kill me in some gang initiation thing, don't know what all they're like. And this is from the same people who claim to love the same Jesus that would have beaten the piss out of them with a length of rope had he heard them on that bullshit. You know what she took me for? Two sodas, some Chinese take out, some weed that would have otherwise gone stale, and breakfast. Hoo boy, what a loving racket-- if I didn't have these troublesome ethics about me I'd've decided I was in the wrong loving business ages ago. This wasn't the act of a gullible mark, a loving rube, y'uns. There were no sinister intentions or ulterior motives, neither psycho nor sexual in nature (24 is way too far outside the foul line for the type of bases I prefer to run around. Not like I've even made out of the loving bullpen in the first place but this isn't about me chasing strange). I'm saying What Jesus Would have Done here ain't a loving coinflip. I'm doing it because it's the compassionate goddamned loving thing to do and if I justify my actions to nobody else it'll be to my own conscience first and foremost. And while I'm at it, I don't feel that i did good here. Yeah, it's more than what a lot of other people have done, but if I wanted to get blowjobs off of keeping things temporarily stable I'd still be with those homophobic landlord motherfuckers in the Democratic Party.* gently caress all of that horseshit. Kindness can be extended without being cruel, you heartless, compassionless pieces of hypocritical poo poo. If my kindness is to harm anything, let it harm the system that allowed this poo poo to happen in the first place. I don't know how weaponized benevolence is going to work, but if that's gonna be my "gently caress you" to everybody, so loving be it. *(gently caress you, D&D, and your mods, too. Apparently y'all only give a poo poo about something when you wanna act like you're the correct one in the argument. In your defending Joe loving Biden. I'm not saying y'all are brain damaged pedophile rapists like him, but I am saying that treating politics as a loving fandom is stupid as hell and that nobody needs to leave their kids alone with y'all that goddamned dumb. The only place to spit in y'all's house is right in your goddamned faces). Gene Hackman Fan has issued a correction as of 00:43 on Nov 18, 2021 |
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Nov 18, 2021 00:13
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ricecult posted:The learning is the goal, but it's also finding something you can enjoy and want. Sometimes you have to try things you don't know if you'll like, but if you choose not to you won't be the first person, there are lots of people who don't connect with it. Point is, your first go at it says literally nothing about your capabilities or value, gardening or otherwise. Whether you want to try again is up to you, and similarly says nothing about you other than you want to learn to garden or you don't. If you stopped now, you have already succeeded in trying something on a recommendation, you didn't commit to being a good or lifelong gardener. Save this text and just find/replace gardening with whatever, this is a fantastic outlook and post, thank you.
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Nov 18, 2021 00:46
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Gene Hackman Fan posted:A good deed Thanks for what you did. You made a real, measurable difference in her life. That's hard to attempt, and so much harder to succeed at. I know people who have advocated kicking people out onto the street as incentive for them to get their life together. It's incredible what kinds of mental gymnastics people will go through to justify something so vile. Also, good for her on getting out of there. Our broken society leads people to staying in abusive relationships out of fear of homelessness. skooma512 posted:Misadventures in gardening It sounds like you figured out what went wrong. I think you stand a better chance of growing plants next time around. I'd say keep trying if you think you might enjoy gardening. If not, it's good to try stuff just to find out if you don't like it. @endlessmonotony: I wish I had something useful to say. You're being hosed over, then blamed for it. You deserve better.
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Nov 18, 2021 02:44
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Uganda Loves Me posted:I wish I had something useful to say. You're being hosed over, then blamed for it. You deserve better. Eh, I try to avoid "deserve" and "should". Just because it feels lovely to hear I deserve better from people unable - or just as often unwilling - to do anything about it. What I get is what I get, and it's an infinite mountain of unreasonable bullshit. I know I won't ever be done with this bullshit, and that it won't heal or get better... and that leaves me to ask "well, given that, what am I going to do about the rest of my problems?". There are things I like, and I'd like a better bullshit / things I like ratio, and there's at least some things I can do about that.
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Nov 18, 2021 15:21
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Fair enough.
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Nov 18, 2021 15:25
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ricecult posted:The learning is the goal, but it's also finding something you can enjoy and want. Sometimes you have to try things you don't know if you'll like, but if you choose not to you won't be the first person, there are lots of people who don't connect with it. Point is, your first go at it says literally nothing about your capabilities or value, gardening or otherwise. Whether you want to try again is up to you, and similarly says nothing about you other than you want to learn to garden or you don't. If you stopped now, you have already succeeded in trying something on a recommendation, you didn't commit to being a good or lifelong gardener. Thanks for this. I'm going to keep trying.
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Nov 19, 2021 06:04
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Ugh, physical doctor told me today "the goal here is to get you back to work, in employment," and i told him, I'm trying to get on disability, because who knows, when, if ever, that will be." I've been damaged a ton by the assumption I'm ever going back to work i need to focus myself, and those trying to help me, on me having some quality of life with me being permanently out of the work force. 'lern 2 code' doesn't mean poo poo when the concept of showing up to work, either in person or via telecommute, on time, and producing things and following instructions makes me literally, immediately get suicidal ideation with whatever sharp/blunt/powered objects in the room. It makes holding down/getting a job impossible. There is no possible job i can do because its having a job in of itself that broke my loving soul along with some exceptionally lovely, abusive bosses. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 11:18 on Nov 19, 2021 |
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Nov 19, 2021 11:14
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I signed up for this: https://soarworks.samhsa.gov/content/soar-online-course-catalog Now I just need to follow through. It's a certification program to help fast-track others' SSI/SSDI claims. From the people I know, it can take 2+ years to get on it. The government's strategy seems to be to make the process as onerous as possible to get people to give up. Apparently SOAR can teach case managers how to bypass most of that bullshit. quote:SSI/SSDI Outreach, Access, and Recovery (SOAR) is funded by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) and is a national program designed to increase access to the disability income benefit programs administered by the Social Security Administration (SSA) for eligible adults and children who are experiencing or at risk of homelessness and have a serious mental illness, medical impairment, and/or a co-occurring substance use disorder. I can't find any resources on how to actually find a SOAR-certified case manager. Sounds like the program is new, and there aren't many out there. Apparently they're in demand, and I see a bunch of job listings for them. A friend went through the training. It was about 40 hours, and they had someone to walk them through the process. In the course, they help a fictional person get SSI/SSDI every step of the way. The course is free, and looks like it's available to anyone.
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Nov 19, 2021 17:43
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Uganda Loves Me posted:The government's strategy seems to be to make the process as onerous as possible to get people to give up. When I was around 18 years old I had to reapply despite the "permanent" part of permanent physical disability, so yeah your statement mirrors my experiences.
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Nov 20, 2021 02:42
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I called my lawyer to check on the status of my disability case and somehow ended up in a three way call to the disability government worker who told me my case was "complex" because apparently every time my doc prescribes a new medication its been resetting the clock on the whole drat decision process  She then hung up and lawyer's office told me that although its taken more time than usual, six months is still well within the bounds of a normal SSDI/SSI 1st decision. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 05:36 on Nov 20, 2021 |
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Nov 20, 2021 05:33
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Ronwayne posted:I called my lawyer to check on the status of my disability case and somehow ended up in a three way call to the disability government worker who told me my case was "complex" because apparently every time my doc prescribes a new medication its been resetting the clock on the whole drat decision process When you finally get the benefits, they should be retroactive to when you first applied. They're not resetting that date are they?
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Nov 20, 2021 06:16
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hope this doesn't make me a homeopathy guy but man vitamin D helps a lot when the sun is gone when you finish work. my prescription ended so I bought some on my own but I think it helps my brain, somehow.
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Nov 20, 2021 06:20
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Uganda Loves Me posted:When you finally get the benefits, they should be retroactive to when you first applied. They're not resetting that date are they? Yeah, it still backdates, but like. Its hard living without cash. I've been completely out of work since the start of 2019 and subsist on begging and a very nice convenience store clerk who hands over food they're about to throw out. The hell of it is, eating e-coli pizza that's spent half a day under a heat lamp is still better than any of my jobs I've held. Consummate Professional posted:hope this doesn't make me a homeopathy guy but That's not homeopathy that's straight up science, the human brain breaks when it doesn't get enough vitamin d, not just your bones. I've been on a big 1/week 50000 units dose and I think its helped. Texas is a goddamn hellscape, but at least i don't get seasonal depression, just other kinds of depression.
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Nov 20, 2021 06:50
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Hey, so can I get a ruling on the field: poverty is a type of trauma, right?
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Nov 21, 2021 01:18
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Poverty is a direct consequence of capitalism, it exists so that the rich may exploit the labor of the poor. By trauma, do we mean any injury suffered, or ongoing mental anguish due to an unpleasant experience? Are all exploited people traumatized regardless of their awareness or subjective opinion of their exploitation? I think most poor people end up being traumatized by the consequences of being poor anyway, so the distinction might be moot.
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Nov 21, 2021 01:45
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Gene Hackman Fan posted:Hey, so can I get a ruling on the field: poverty is a type of trauma, right? Yes.
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Nov 21, 2021 03:11
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Consummate Professional posted:hope this doesn't make me a homeopathy guy but Good to see that I'm not the only one who feels the way you do about Vitamin D. Earlier this year, I had to go on quarantine due to a close contact - everyone gave me poo poo for have 10 days "off", but I was loving miserable by day 3. I'd try and sunbathe (more like stare at the sun) periodically on the front porch, and I found it hilarious that 10 minutes out in the sun every so often throughout the day cheered me right up.
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Nov 21, 2021 03:23
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skooma512 posted:Get into gardening for mental health they said. Ok, so I bought some pots, soil, and seeds. Through your lens, I can definitely understand why you may be in this space that you're in. Surprisingly enough, don't let anyone ever tell you that growing a weed should be "easy". Personally, I started off with some baby cacti to get my green thumb going. I empathize with struggles behind green thumbs. I had a friend come and take a look at my soil, and it turned out the soil I had mixed with the climate just prevented stuff from growing. Don't give up friend.
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Nov 21, 2021 03:26
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There are a number of factors that went into why I asked that. Chiefly, I don't feel like anybody around me IRL believes me when I talk about my own experiences. I've never really felt like that in 27yrs. there was a three month period in the 8th grade where I developed a slipped capital femoral epiphysis that went from stage one to stage two because nobody believed me when I said it hurt to loving walk. Some teachers thought I was doing that poo poo for attention, and were poking fun. ma and pa thought I was trying to get out of school. Went through diagnosis four times in the span of two day, from "holy poo poo your son's goddamn back is broken!" to "oh wait, that's scoliosis" to "that's some hosed up scoliosis, honestly" to "oh wait, that part isn't supposed to be sticking out like that." Everybody around me apologized, which I handled a whole fuckload more gracefully than everybody around me fuckin deserved, now that I think about it. So, ever since then I've always given people the benefit of a doubt when they tell me they hurt or they have a bad time with something. It's also meant that I spend more time internally justifying every decision I've ever made because I'mma probably going to have to point back at it later when somebody asks. Fast forward to today, when a family member cracked a joke about a beggar using money to buy drugs. Given my own experience having to beg this time two years ago, I did not respond well to that. Quite poorly, as a matter of fact. Like, trauma response poorly. Remembering going days without food poorly. Shoplifting payday bars from work because you just wanted something on your stomach poorly. Like, we've already patched that fight up-- the family member genuinely didn't know, and it's always a good idea to teach empathy. What's now stuck in my craw is venting to another family member who then proceeded to tell me that the problems are my fault and that poverty trauma isn't really trauma, and that my problems are all in my head (which, shocked me as I thought mental illness was in the balls) frankly I'm just keeping the argument with him going as long as possible to make him regret it just as much as I've regretted opening up to him. how does one find a found family, anyway? Gene Hackman Fan has issued a correction as of 02:39 on Dec 18, 2021 |
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Nov 21, 2021 04:02
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try the local pawn shops, they might have a good deal on one (a good post and I hope it gets better for you)
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Nov 21, 2021 04:21
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What you experienced is real, and what you feel is real. gently caress anyone who questions that. Good on you for standing up to them. I find different types of support in different places. I get support at NAMI, but a lot of those folks are conservative in my area. They've learned some empathy through personal experience. A lot of people won't get the mental health side of things, leftist or not. This thread is the only space I have with the mental health side of things and the political side of things in the same place. I draw different boundaries with different people. I'm starting to be a little more open about what I think and feel to everyone, because it doesn't feel good to hide part of myself. I have certain people I can have fun with, certain people I can be brutally honest about mental health with, and some people who share somewhat similar political views. There's some crossover, of course. I ended up very hypomanic (or even manic) a couple months ago, and overshared with pretty much everyone. I actually received a much more positive response than I expected from extended family, friends, and the NAMI advocates who don't have a mental illness. Your mileage will vary, of course.
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Nov 21, 2021 04:38
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Josherino posted:Good to see that I'm not the only one who feels the way you do about Vitamin D. friend, I bought I hammock and laid on it during my work breaks and holy heck it made me feel good. I miss the summer but I hope to have a decent garden this upcoming spring
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Nov 21, 2021 06:58
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hey I got a UV light to sit in front of and I think it's helping me not feel like garbage so +1 to that being a technique to fight off sad brains.
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Nov 21, 2021 18:43
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I got boosted yesterday at a grocery store pharmacy. One of like three customers wearing any kind of mask at a somewhat busy store, so I think I had my first kind of agoraphobic response. Today I feel like crap as a result of booster gold, so am now at the "full societal collapse when" mood. Hope y'all are doing better. Thanks for the cool thread.
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Nov 23, 2021 19:03
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Good Vibes https://twitter.com/DoctorPazuzu/status/1462926690192084994?s=20 also this is a surprisingly good ascii drawing of a mk 3 supra 
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Nov 23, 2021 19:48
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Wanted to check in and say I'm feeling better. My foot is still sore but manageable and concrete plans are forming for moms future. I tour the first facility Friday. From there I'm going to push hard to get her moved. She's very much against it but the psychiatrist and doctor both agree, and both have told her to her face that she not only needs to move but is being selfish towards me. So now all that's left is to get some loose ends tied up. As much as it hurts I think I'm also going to get the gently caress out of this red state nightmare and move somewhere civilized. I just can't take these loving chuds anymore. The pandemic has totally ended my ability to view them as anything more than monsters.
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Nov 23, 2021 22:43
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gently caress man. In agreement, and this isn't flippant, but honest: i wish you nothing but the best of luck for this extremely complicated, awful thing you and your mom are going through.
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Nov 24, 2021 02:01
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My trichotillomania is getting worse. It used to just be twisting my hair all day, but no pulling. As the years wore on, there's now pulling and a big old bald spot on the back of my head. Even cutting my hair doesn't stop it anymore. Nor does tendon pain from doing this for hours a day every day, nor do the callouses that form on my fingers. Hats and gloves help a lot, but can't wear those most places at work, at least it will be winter soon. I'm on 20mg of Lexapro, and it didn't really help the trich. I'm also on adderall, which I'm sure is why it's getting worse, but if I don't have that I can't work. At least I found a barber who also has trich so I need not explain why the back of my head has all these spots.
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Nov 24, 2021 02:23
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skooma512 posted:My trichotillomania is getting worse. It used to just be twisting my hair all day, but no pulling. As the years wore on, there's now pulling and a big old bald spot on the back of my head. I deal with this too, though chewing cuticles for me, which I switched to from pulling out my hair as a kid because my dad got real mad about the bald spots, nice job dealing with it dad. You might consider asking your doctor about Clomipramine. It's an old tricyclic antidepressant that actually helped me a lot. The side effect profile is kinda wonky but I took it for more than a year and I could handle them just fine. Eventually went off it because the DBT therapy was helping as well and I didn't need it anymore, but it was really effective for me.
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Nov 24, 2021 02:50
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| # ? May 25, 2024 13:34 |
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Gonna be alone for the holiday, again, just like I have been for years and it's time for my annual mental health freakout Real fun to realize I've been in self-imposed solitary confinement for the vast majority of my life and see no realistic way that's ever gonna stop before I die early.
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Nov 24, 2021 11:23
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