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Good for you, Cole. Glad that you've made so much progress and that now you've got the tools to sustain it. I've been going through a bit of a rough time with some chronic and acute stress/anxiety lately and I'm pretty happy to report that I finally found an online therapist who will take my insurance. First appointment will hopefully be Friday and I'm very much looking forward to it. Stay safe and well, friends.
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Nov 17, 2021 17:03
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boop the snoot posted:About venting…. Glad to hear it!!!
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Nov 17, 2021 17:46
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boop the snoot posted:About venting…. Good for you cole and great to hear Remember that working on mental health is a marathon and not a sprint so keep doing your best and posting Monty pics
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Nov 18, 2021 03:46
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pantslesswithwolves posted:Good for you, Cole. Glad that you've made so much progress and that now you've got the tools to sustain it. That's great man. My therapist helps me a lot. I'm glad you finally found one. Onto my vent: poo poo's been tough since my dad died. It's hard to go to my mom's house. Every time I go there I get depressed and sad, every time I pass the loveseat in the den where he used to read, or pass his room, or see his clothes in the laundry room. My mom's coping decently. She says she talks to him all day long, and that it helps. I talk to him too sometimes. I've been so busy the last couple of weeks I haven't been to his grave in a while. I need to go. It's so tough because I really do want to help my mom as much as I can, but it's a harsh reminder of our loss every time I go there. I feel like I go out of obligation both to my mom, and to my dad. I know he'd want me to step up and help my ma. I don't know how she can stand to stay in the house. She copes with retail therapy, but the house is a mess of poo poo she won't ever use. I've always butted heads with my mom. Never had that issue with my dad. My dad always said he hoped he would die first. My mom said she wanted to die first. I feel bad for saying it but my mom and I have always butt heads and she's mentally ill (way more than even I am) and difficult and annoying. I'd never be able to live with my mom again - it'd kill our relationship. If my mom died and dad was left, it wouldn't even be a question on whether or not me and my now-fiance would move in. We'd save tons of money on rent, and be able to help my dad every day. I feel bad for thinking it but I really do wish my mom went first. I'm pretty sure she feels the same way too. I recently got engaged, and just finally booked a wedding venue. It's exciting and heartbreaking at the same time. Literally everything is going to be bittersweet. My dad didn't see me lose the weight I needed to lose, or get engaged, and he's not going to see me get married and get drunk with me at the wedding, and he'll never meet my kids. I broke down and cried constantly for about a half hour this past week. My fiancé - weird to say - called me and calmed me down. This was the first time since dad died that I haven't needed a lorazepam to stop having an anxiety attack. First time I cried hysterically in about a month. It was good to get it out. My fiance said that everything is going to be bittersweet, and that that's ok, and that it's okay to be sad about it at the same time as enjoying it - all of the things I should be so excited about, and I am a little excited about it. But she gets to have her parents there. I don't. She misses my dad terribly too. My dad talked to her every day when I was going through my darkest time in 2020 when I was pretty close to killing myself. I pushed my family away for what now seems like stupid reasons, and isolated and was in a very deep depression for about 6 months. My dad helped talk her through dealing with my bullshit that she didn't deserve to deal with. So she misses him for all the advice and also every other reason. He was a truly great, kind, giving, funny, wonderful man. I just miss talking to him. Having imaginary conversations with him and knowing what he'd say isn't enough anymore. I miss everything about him. I really really hope he's up there looking out for me, and helping me, and looking down on me and seeing my progress. I kind of think he is. I'm in the process of interviewing for a new job that would be good deal better than my current poo poo job, and I'm also in the year+ process of getting a federal job finally, though I don't know how good my chances are. But maybe he really is looking out for me. I hope so. Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 14:25 on Nov 18, 2021 |
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Nov 18, 2021 07:10
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Bored As gently caress posted:Dad stuff. Yeah man. Same, but 20+ yrs further along that journey. “Everything is bittersweet” -> yup. Still is, and i would never wish for it not to be, but its not suffocating anymore. Over time you get used to carrying the weight. This is might be trite and insulting in this audience , but it has done me a lot of good If you decide that you are strong enough to handle it, then you are. If you decide you are not, then you are not. It will still suck a whole lot either way, but your reaction to the suckage will make the experience worse for you and the people who care about you. Functionally its faith, but its faith in yourself - and that is really a really difficult gift to give yourself when you also feel like you don’t deserve it. E: You do in fact deserve it, fyi fresh_cheese fucked around with this message at 14:28 on Nov 18, 2021 |
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Nov 18, 2021 13:55
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I started my anti anxiety meds today here's to hoping they work.
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Dec 11, 2021 01:24
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Pine Cone Jones posted:I started my anti anxiety meds today here's to hoping they work. If you don't mind, let me know how they work and if you think they're worth it. I have a Prozac bottle sitting on my counter I got like a year ago but never worked up the bravery to try. When the anxiety gets bad I think they might be worth taking but in the end I never do.
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Dec 11, 2021 01:36
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Eason the Fifth posted:If you don't mind, let me know how they work and if you think they're worth it. I have a Prozac bottle sitting on my counter I got like a year ago but never worked up the bravery to try. When the anxiety gets bad I think they might be worth taking but in the end I never do. After the deployments I was non-functional. I avoided everything for months. Only left the apartment for groceries at night. VA psychiatrist prescribed Prozac. After about ten days of taking it, it worked. I experienced a very clear and distinct shift in mood, feelings and thoughts. Future rounds of the medication did not have the same profound results, but it got me moving forward and started my repairing process. Hope you're able to manage what troubles you, best wishes.
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Dec 11, 2021 14:58
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Eason the Fifth posted:If you don't mind, let me know how they work and if you think they're worth it. I have a Prozac bottle sitting on my counter I got like a year ago but never worked up the bravery to try. When the anxiety gets bad I think they might be worth taking but in the end I never do. Strongly suggesting that you try the meds. Worse case scenario, they do nothing. Best case you feel better. Going on meds saved my marriage and allowed me to start “getting better.”
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Dec 11, 2021 17:32
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That may have come off a little strong -- I'm not exactly in dire straights or anything mentally these days, it's just some bad patches here and there, mostly related to health anxiety. Probably it's just from smoking too much weed, but sometimes the anxiety happens sober, which is when I start thinking about the Prozac.  I'm glad to hear that it worked for you guys, though.
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Dec 11, 2021 17:52
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I feel you on the reluctance to take the meds. I will say, after a couple days locked up after a suicide attempt I got sent home with some meds and a couple of refills. They helped me get through that stretch of lovely life poo poo. I used them when I needed the help and stopped when I felt able to manage without them. I can't remember anyone what they gave me though. It's been some years. Hope you're soon able to get you back to where you need to whether with or without the chemical assistance.
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Dec 14, 2021 20:05
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Things are not going loving good I have no idea where to loving start.
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Dec 18, 2021 01:27
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Just start writing it out. Even if it's a garbled mess, getting it out on screen or paper might help you organize the thought train.
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Dec 18, 2021 01:36
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Don't quit and don't write off your ability to feel better, especially when it doesn't feel that way. Wellbutrin works for me and many others with less side effects than other antidepressants and it's not controlled so a general practitioner can prescribe it with less trouble than other drugs. No drug is universal for all people, talk to a real medical professional. Therapy is free and cheap on some insurance plans. I used Brightside online once recently, and it seemed promising; I liked the guy I saw and it seemed convenient and cost effective for home-based telemedicine to fix bad brains, and included med delivery -- they were just unable to manage my ADHD meds which has been an issue with a lot of providers.
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Dec 18, 2021 01:38
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There are so many things but I have to loving say that I live in a hell house. I swear it’s not a joke this place is hosed beyond belief and I would loving Jill someone to be back in a tent in Iraq because it was a million percent better than this slumlord poo poo hole. It’s filthy beyond belief, the floor has soft spots the walls have holes, there is mold everywhere that I have worked my rear end if too scrub and they only painted over after I lived here for months and after they showed it while I lived here and the person they showed it to straight up asked why the entire ceiling was covered in mold, part of the ceiling is falling off, I honest to God believe the landlord has a cognitive disability like no joke I don’t know where to start on that one, there are twenty other things wrong with this loving place OH YEAH I GOT BROKEN INTO TWICE IN LESS THAN A MONTH THE SECOND TIME I CAME FACE TO FACE WITH THE GUY BECUASE THE LANDLORD LEFT THE DOOR UNLOCKED EVEN THOUGH HE WAS HERE BECAUSE I WAS BROKEN INTO HE loving TOLD ME HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOCK UP AFTWR HIM. You want to know why I am typing this NOW?!! I AM LOCKED IN THIS PLACE More than a month after the two break ins he finally got locks on the place but the locks are hosed and I’m loving locked in this second floor apparent in a house on a hill. I had tickets to see a special comedy show for an album release and after party but that’s not happening I’m sitting here alone trapped in this death trap of filth. Also the noise, I live next to the worst laid out intersection ever like sometimes the accidents are literally two nights in a row but the horns and the screaming and the poo poo boxes doing laps and the drunk neighbors and raccoon fights are constant 24/7. There is so much more but I am so loving tired and alone. I’m sorry I loving swear I never saw anything like this in the military.
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Dec 18, 2021 01:56
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I cannot describe how loving loud this two lane residential road is, it is louder than the night I spent in loving Manhattan and it is 24/7, people laying into their horns, music so loud waiting at the light I can’t hear the iPad on my lap, sometimes they are so loud and hit such a tone it is physically painful. Last night the neighbors slammed random doors around their place while screaming at each other for a good 30 minutes at 0200 before one drunkenly sped off. I loving swear I’m not a pussy this place is unreal and has done more psychological dmsmsge to me than the Air Force at this rate .
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Dec 18, 2021 02:01
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Cenen posted:Things are not going loving good I have no idea where to loving start. Start from the beginning. No judgement gets cast here.
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Dec 18, 2021 02:34
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Ok if you're locked in the apartment call the fire department. Period. That's hella unsafe and it sounds like there's other fire deficiencies if they had to come there. And being LOCKED IN any building is an immediate emergency.
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Dec 18, 2021 02:55
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How likely is it you can find another place on short notice? At the very least, change the lock on your door yourself (assuming you rent a bed, share a bath situation). Put a deadbolt on. Then get one of those usb charger spycams. $30-50~ on ebay/amazon. They look like lovely (and also are) usb-a or whatever that charges slow as gently caress, less likely to be stolen.  If you can afford to put your more valuable stuff somewhere safer, do it. Noise isn't going to be solved cheap, so I've got nothing there. For now, since you're locked in, you could always take the lock apart, if you're mechanically inclined. Screws should always be on the inside, but your landlord sounds champion level incompetent. (Wasabi has the better idea) I would try to gtfo, find a new place, leave that rear end in a top hat off your rental history, or give the next place a reference number for a friend and have them play landlord on the phone. I realize trying to move sucks no matter the geography right now, rents are loving stupid, let alone having to drum up a new deposit. Not to pry, but whereabouts are you roughly located? CRUSTY MINGE fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Dec 18, 2021 |
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Dec 18, 2021 02:55
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I would honestly see if there's a loving hostel or beg the fire department to let you get some rest at the station. Sleep deprivation can lead to severe psychological trauma too. Also post the lock manufacturer I'll find you a picking video if you really don't wanna call anyone, but I would shine a light on this mother fucker. Let him bitch and moan about it too. gently caress 'em. Seriously if he's doing this to you, imagine a little old lady or person with a disability moving in, this dude is a menace, disabled or not. Calling the fire department and THEN filing a police report would also be a nice protection in case of claims court or rental history fuckery. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 03:07 on Dec 18, 2021 |
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Dec 18, 2021 02:59
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I managed to get the knob off using a knife but all I got from him were incredibly vague and lovely instructions on how to work the mechanism that only seem to half line up with what he is saying. He said he would be here in about an hour and that was about an hour ago but he has absolutely ghosted before on other poo poo so who knows. The packages the locks came in are in the basement and inaccessible. The best I can figure is even if I can pull the metal piece out of hole (not even 100% I’m managing that) when the mechanism is down I can’t fit my hand in there and the door is isn’t easy to open/close anyway so I don’t have enough leverage to open it without a knob. I don’t have tools up here I’ve been using a knife from my first deployment and an old screw the old tenants left here to Jimmy this thing. Edit: He just called me to let me know he can’t get here quicker because he has to drive super safe because he… got pulled over last night for driving on a suspended license… that has been suspended for four years apparently and if he gets pulled over tonight he is hosed. I loving swear this is happening right now. Double Edit: He finally got here and in less than 5 seconds jammed some square tool into the lock and popped it immediately. Claimed he just had to tap the door to open it. Says he’ll get THE SAME locksmith to figure out what the gently caress. Thank you for letting me vent about this wild rear end poo poo hole run by a dumbass slumlord. Cenen fucked around with this message at 05:36 on Dec 18, 2021 |
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Dec 18, 2021 03:12
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Eason the Fifth posted:If you don't mind, let me know how they work and if you think they're worth it. I have a Prozac bottle sitting on my counter I got like a year ago but never worked up the bravery to try. When the anxiety gets bad I think they might be worth taking but in the end I never do. So it's been nearly three months and they've seriously helped.
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Feb 24, 2022 01:32
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It's extremely cool to hear that, dude. I'm in a better spot now than I was back then, and I'm using an elliptical to keep my mood up, but it's good to know that if I slip again the medicine can be a good backstop.
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Feb 25, 2022 22:34
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Has anyone found an effective remedy to tinnitus? This poo poo is getting on my last loving nerve!
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Mar 24, 2022 03:48
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Cenen posted:I managed to get the knob off using a knife but all I got from him were incredibly vague and lovely instructions on how to work the mechanism that only seem to half line up with what he is saying. He said he would be here in about an hour and that was about an hour ago but he has absolutely ghosted before on other poo poo so who knows. The packages the locks came in are in the basement and inaccessible. The best I can figure is even if I can pull the metal piece out of hole (not even 100% I’m managing that) when the mechanism is down I can’t fit my hand in there and the door is isn’t easy to open/close anyway so I don’t have enough leverage to open it without a knob. Dude... that really sucks rear end in a top hat... I hope you're doing OK now, though!
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Mar 24, 2022 03:51
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TopiaryX posted:Has anyone found an effective remedy to tinnitus? This poo poo is getting on my last loving nerve! White noise generator or just a box fan or something like that is best I found. Was all the VA suggested. Just gotta drown it out and live with it for every loving day for the rest of your life knowing you can never again fully enjoy silence.
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Mar 24, 2022 19:01
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yeah box fan for life
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Mar 24, 2022 19:10
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I sleep with the tv on at low volume. The light doesn't bother me, but a radio, podcasts, audiobooks, etc, would probably be effective as well.
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Mar 24, 2022 19:20
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I run an air cleaner at full speed. Gives a similar sound to a box fan without moving as much air around, and has the benefit of keeping dust down! Maybe more efficient too? I don't know; thanks dude that shot me point blank in the side of the head with an m16 blank, glad your BFA was screwed down at least.
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Mar 24, 2022 22:26
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I play rainymood.com on my phone or run the fan/AC
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Mar 25, 2022 04:21
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If I plug my ears tight with my fingers, or wear very dense earplugs, I have a two-tone ringing in my right ear and a fainter single-tone ringing in my left ear. I can change the intensity of the tone by moving my jaw or by holding my nose and mouth closed and trying to pop my ears. Most of the time, though, the ringing is unnoticeable unless I force myself to focus on it. Is this a form of damage-caused tinnitus, or like an inner ear problem? Edit: I should add that I was an 81mm mortarman and did more than a few livefires as the a-gunner without hearing protection, so I'm obviously leaning toward the damage diagnosis, but im not sure if the tone and intensity changing with my jaw movement is a symptom of real tinnitus. What I have doesn't sound nearly as bad as what some of you guys describe. Eason the Fifth fucked around with this message at 05:45 on Mar 25, 2022 |
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Mar 25, 2022 05:39
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TopiaryX posted:Has anyone found an effective remedy to tinnitus? This poo poo is getting on my last loving nerve! Flick your head: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBgkPOGD6gw This method can also help with the "unsolvable anxiety trigger" feelings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNueJX7bQyg
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Mar 25, 2022 05:51
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mine def gets worse with stress but yeah im stuck on the prescription box fan plan for life. Airpod Pros did work well with the noise cancelling though, and never had any issue with my tinnitus using them. Some in earbuds seem to make it worse for me for some reason but the only ones that I really found to work well besides the airpod pros are a $50 pair of sony megabass ones that for some reason hit my sweet spot. plus megabass rules
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Mar 25, 2022 05:59
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Hey goons, I had a fall a couple of months ago which led to a head CT. The CT showed some thyroid nodules, and what do you know a biopsy showed cancer. I had a total thyroidectomy two weeks ago. Unfortunately it didn't get all the cancer so I get to take a big dose of radiation in a couple of months. The point of all this is that the thyroid cancer is more than likely caused by radiation exposure. I had exposures in Gulf War 1 and OIF as well as whatever burn pit stuff wafted about. Something to keep an eye out for if any of you were exposed. Thyroid cancer and is easily treatable. Catch it early and take some motrin.
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Apr 24, 2022 02:23
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Holy poo poo congrats beating your own body
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Apr 24, 2022 03:46
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Glad they caught your cancer early enough to do something about it, MW. Hope you're doing well.
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Apr 24, 2022 14:40
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:Glad they caught your cancer early enough to do something about it, MW. Hope you're doing well.
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Apr 24, 2022 14:41
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MonkeyWash posted:Catch it early and take some motrin. The VA claims motrin cures cancers  CRUSTY MINGE posted:Glad they caught your cancer early enough to do something about it, MW. Hope you're doing well.
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Apr 25, 2022 02:13
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:Glad they caught your cancer early enough to do something about it, MW. Hope you're doing well. Thanks for the well wishes everyone. I am doing well
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Apr 27, 2022 18:00
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Hahahhahahahhahhqhahahhahahhahha loving dream job rejects me after I pass the dreaded resume filter. Get through two online tests, even get through a loving phone interview. Then I get an in person interview. 2 weeks later a letter. Thanks a lot. Try again maybe. I'm so loving stupid. I can't even believe I thought they might take a loving retarded broke brained piece of poo poo like me. Why. Why loving would they? Why would any job? I hosed the interview. I thought I did okay in 3 areas. But then I bad mouthed my current job a little like a loving moron. Said promotions are witheld cuz its kind of an old boys club. Probably hosed up two or three other questions too cuz I'm a dumb piece of poo poo. Have an interview coming up with a job that I'll hate and requires a 2 yr contract before you can apply for other positions in the agency. Lmao why am I even thinking that far? I'm such a dumb piece of poo poo who is too honest in interviews and blabs his loving mouth too loving much becUse of a broke loving brain. I'll never even get passed an in person interview, much less a medical and poly. Years of not doing any illegal drugs cuz poo poo i want a good job better not smoke weed that might help my anxiety, better not try those ketamine clinics that help ptsd snd severe depression! loving so loving stupid. I'm literally the dumbest "intelligent" person on the planet. Years of study, countless books, interest, podcasts, keeping up with foreign affairs, literally all for nothing. loving cool Pushing 40 and I'm still not in a career. loving wasted my life. Dad's dead so I have no one to talk to make me feel better. Literally past the half way point in my life and I've got gently caress all to show for it McNally throw me a ban and a week probe please Bored As Fuck fucked around with this message at 19:23 on May 2, 2022 |
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May 2, 2022 18:57
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