r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Mx. posted:

AITA for demanding the copy of my car key back, or else I'll involve police?

classic lazy police

"theft of a vehicle? uhhhh ~~i have donuts to eat~~ that's a civil matter"

One of many reasons we do not need police.

I would understand OP's partner saying "let's not bother going to the cops because we tried it already and it didn't work," or "I'm not white and fear being killed," but "let's not because it'd be meeeeean" is some classic white people nonsense. What a weird loving argument. Castle doctrine the bad guy for messing with your car. Sever from this doormat, what the christ.

AITA for not sharing my sandwiches with my wife?

quote:

My wife and I are in the car driving a couple hours. We are both really hungry so we stop at Wendy�s. We get our food, and I realize they forgot my wife�s burger (she�s driving). I had ordered one burger (with bacon, which hers didn�t have and the one in the bag had bacon) and one chicken sandwich (also in bag). I alert her to the bad news that her burger isn�t in there and she puts on her turn signal to turn back around to head back to Wendy�s to get her burger. In the meantime, I�m eating my burger. She makes a wrong turn and it spits us out into a weird area, and we realize we have to make a u-turn to get back the the Wendy�s. My wife then just says forget it, and keeps driving back to the highway. It would have taken maybe an extra minute to make the u-turn to head back to the restaurant but we skip it. She then turns to me and says �really nice of you to offer me one of your two sandwiches.� At this point all I�ve got left is my second (chicken) sandwich, which is half eaten and she doesn�t even like their chicken sandwiches. Anyways, we�ve been arguing about how I�m selfish and don�t sacrifice for her for an hour but I�m maintaining that I was acting under the impression we were going back to restaurant and it was ultimately her decision to pull the plug.

Further Context: she did have fries and nuggets to eat while we were driving back to Wendy�s. Not like she was just sitting there starving.

Am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ? Nov 19, 2021 12:13

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# ? May 28, 2024 05:22

Yolo Swaggins Esq: Jan 29, 2015; oOoOoh 👀 a dapper little mouse🎩 🐀🕺🏻🕺🏻 a dAppER MoUSe🧐🐀 🚶🏿‍♂️🚶🏿‍♂️it�s a 🎩DAPPER mouse 👀✔️🐀🥾🏃🏽‍♂️🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🏃🏽‍♂️🐀💥

Are Wendy's burgs really small or something? Because chowing down on two whole burgers plus sides, I assume, seems like a lot to require to sustain oneself for a couple hours of sitting in a car.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 12:18

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

Are Wendy's burgs really small or something? Because chowing down on two whole burgers plus sides, I assume, seems like a lot to require to sustain oneself for a couple hours of sitting in a car.

They are on the larger size among American fast food hamburger chains. OP, being a redditor, probably just eats too many of them.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 12:39

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Invisible Clergy posted:

Castle doctrine the bad guy

Look we all agree that ACAB, but you really shouldn't be encouraging people to shoot police officers.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 12:51

Strategic Tea: Sep 1, 2012

Citzens should be empowered to sieze justice for themselves without relying on the police.

Perhaps they could form a community defence group, or posse, put on uniforms to be clearly identified and hang troublemaking outsiders from a handy oak tree :cop:

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:12

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

DreamingofRoses posted:

So I�ll be completely honest with this thread and say I think I know this person IRL-ish, and if it is, this is the least of what their parents have done (think enforced dependency, emotional abuse, a therapist who narced to their parents etc)

Even if it's not who you're thinking of, all of those things sound pretty accurate. The mom is 100% doing this on purpose, elderly parents I'm not surprised are often the absolute worst in treating their kids as live-in servants.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:14

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

lol

AITA for not wanting to date a virgin?

quote:

I [20F] have been seeing a guy [22M] for a little over a month, and it feels like we�re progressing toward something exclusive. I�ve communicated to him that a full-blown relationship isn�t something I want right now, but I enjoy spending time with him and want to see where things go. He said that he felt the same way.

What I told him was true, but it wasn�t the full extent of what I�ve been feeling. I have a really high sex drive in addition to physical touch as my love-language�meaning lots of sex is great, but also just being touched by my partner is a way for me to feel affirmed (and if that touching leads to sex, m�s a mi favor lol). Anyway, this guy is a virgin. He�s actually great with non-sexual intimacy and gives me the sense of security I need in that regard. But I just want sex so badly that I almost feel abnormal/nympho-ish compared to him. He�s fine to just cuddle and kiss and hold me in his arms for two hours�and I love it, but I hate it just a little. Female equivalent of blue balls, if you will.

At any rate, I didn�t want to share that in our last conversation because everything is so new, and I don�t want to hurt his feelings over something he can�t change. I feel guilty for holding something like that against him. I know that I�m free to decline to date any person for any reason, but this feels a little different. And ironic, because my first boyfriend in HS dumped me for not sleeping with him. Now I feel like a hypocrite and an rear end in a top hat, because I used to resent the guy so much for doing that, and here I am, not wanting to date someone (partly) for the same reason. AITA? Is there any way to articulate these thoughts to him without hurting his feelings, but before things progress too far?

Also: I don�t think he�s saving sex for marriage, so I suppose it would still be �on the table� if we were to date, but I don�t know how we would go about that, or if I would even want to be his first unless I was really �all in� if that makes sense.

Bit of an unusual one. Thought a spoiler would spice it up, but it's not really interesting enough to be posted alone:

AITA for letting my dog eat off my fork?

quote:

My dog is 16 years old (chihuahuas live forever) and we�ve grown up together. She�s my partner in crime, my hiking buddy, and my absolute best friend. She�s a relatively clean dog, the worst thing she puts her tongue on is herself. If she was a turd eater instead of just a little turd maybe things would be different, but that�s not the case.

To the point: Being 16 with four inch legs, sometimes she gets tired on our walks. I found a bench and decided to eat the snack I brought while she rested. (A homemade chicken lo mein type dish.) I�m a firm believer in sharing, so every couple bites I�d give her a bite. Some random man (50�s ish idk) was spying on us and he decided to approach and lecture me. He went off about how gross it was, how much bacteria is in a dogs mouth, and how �inappropriate� (?) I was behaving. Honestly, I stopped paying attention so I don�t know what else he said, but I let him carry on while continuing to eat silently. After his rant, he asked �if I had anything to say for myself.� I stared at him for a second, said �Nope.� and gave my dog another forkful, without breaking eye contact. He called me an ignorant disgusting bitch, and finally walked away.

So fellow redditors, am I that terrible of a person for sharing with my dog at a public park? I am aware it grosses some people out, so I was sure to pick a bench in a secluded area that wasn�t easily visible.

Just to be clear, I�m not asking your opinion on sharing silverware with pets, I�m asking if it�s some sort of taboo or faux pas that I�m unaware of.

Top comment by OP:

op posted:

Okay so I(24F) fully understand this is �disgusting� and �unhygienic� but it affects nobody besides myself and I�m not changing.

r/relationships: I fully understand this is �disgusting� and �unhygienic,� but

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:17

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Dog lifespan is pretty much inverse to size iirc. The big ones usually only live to about 10 if they're lucky, but a relative of mine had a toy poodle who lived to almost 20.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:22

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Dog lifespan is pretty much inverse to size iirc. The big ones usually only live to about 10 if they're lucky, but a relative of mine had a toy poodle who lived to almost 20.

Yeah, big ones have circulatory and heart problems, like Great Danes or the infamous Malamutes.

AITA for not letting my wife smoke?

quote:

My wife and I recently moved to Eastern Europe for work. People here all smoke, even people our age (mid 20s) and its a socail thing too. People outside universities, work etc all gather to smoke and my wife picked up the habit to assimilate.

I hate cigarettes. The smell is disgusting and I lost 3 family members to lung cancer, I'm the only person in my entire family who doesn't smoke. Even my cousins who are like 15 smoke. She doesn't work, she's studying here.

I have asked her many times to stop smoking in the house. She sometimes listens sometimes does it when I'm not home and the house smells gross. I see ashes on the balcony and everything just smells gross. I kiss her and I get the disgusting taste in my mouth.

I told her that smoking is banned, she is quitting. SHe called me controlling. I told her I don't give a gently caress, people who start smoking from our age are stupid when we have been taught from an early age about the health consequences. She calls me an hypocrite because I drink, which isn't really fair as I drink a couple shots of whiskey once every few days and I'm never drunk.

I threw all her cigarretes away and I don't give her any money, I just buy what she needs. She is saying I'm controlling her, her body her choice whatever.

I loving love my wife so much, but she's so stubborn. I don't want her to get cancer like my family has.

In Europe, this is very normal.

So OP feels strongly about smoking, has painful memories losing loved ones to smoking-derived cancers, and hates the smell and taste of cigarettes, but ~~married a smoker~~ moved to Eastern Europe and is surprised everyone smokes. Checks out.

EDIT: I can't read.

Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 13:40 on Nov 19, 2021

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:29

Winter Stormer: Oct 17, 2012

Invisible Clergy posted:

Yeah, big ones have circulatory and heart problems, like Great Danes or the infamous Malamutes.

AITA for not letting my wife smoke?

In Europe, this is very normal.

So OP feels strongly about smoking, has painful memories losing loved ones to smoking-derived cancers, and hates the smell and taste of cigarettes, but married a smoker. Checks out.

She didn't smoke until recently, reread your post

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:33

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Wait till they all get hooked on IQOS and you can no longer tell that they all smoke until they surprise you at the office with like 15 people all rolling out at once to smoke <waggles fist at Japanese sky>

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:34

Fruits of the sea: Dec 1, 2010

The dude is dealing with it in the dumbest way possible but �no smoking inside the home� is a perfectly normal compromise.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:39

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

You can just tag along when people go outside to smoke and chat with them.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:45

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:47

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Winter Stormer posted:

She didn't smoke until recently, reread your post

So she did. Thanks!

AITA for getting mad at my husband for waking someone up at the movie theater?

quote:

My husband and I decided to agree to disagree on this and we were wondering where the AITA would stand.

My husband and I go see movies frequently, it's a hobby of ours. We went to see one during the week last week. At some point during the middle of the movie, the person sitting one row in front of us and to my left fell asleep and was snoring lightly. It was just the two of us, a group of 3-4 people behind us, and that woman in front of us by herself. After a while of this snoring, my husband (who was sitting to my right) leaned over and shook her shoulder until she woke up. He looked visibly annoyed but did apologize for waking her. I looked at him and quietly said "that's rude".

The movie ended and we headed out. My husband figured I was still upset because I was quiet so he said we should talk about it. We argued on the ride back home because I said it was rude to wake someone up for snoring lightly and he disagreed that it was rude because it was disrupting his movie-going experience.

My POV is that she was snoring very lightly, she didn't fall asleep on purpose, she looked embarrassed, and I saw no reason to embarrass her over a very small sound. I also said that being overly annoyed at snoring during movies seemed like learned behavior from his mom who is often waking his dad up when he falls asleep during a movie. She seems incredibly annoyed at it when she does it but it's got more to do with their relationship than the actual snoring IMO. I think seeing that all the time, he absorbed that level of hatred for snoring during movies even though it was never just the snoring to his mom.

My husband's POV is that while it was light, it was loud enough that it was distracting to him. He said it was akin to someone talking quietly on the phone during a movie. He said that while she might have been embarrassed, that doesn't make what he did rude. He believes that because I have a sleep disorder that went untreated for years, I am biased towards being sympathetic to people who fall asleep in public places. He believes my history made me too sympathetic to her to see that her snoring was the thing that's actually rude.

So reddit, AITA for being upset he woke her up?

OP sucks unimaginably. Her husband acted in a surprisingly compassionate manner toward someone making noise during a movie, the worst thing any person can do. Maybe she didn't intend to fall asleep and wanted to watch the movie she paid to see.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:48

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Invisible Clergy posted:

So she did. Thanks!

AITA for getting mad at my husband for waking someone up at the movie theater?

OP sucks unimaginably. Her husband acted in a surprisingly compassionate manner toward someone making noise during a movie, the worst thing any person can do. Maybe she didn't intend to fall asleep and wanted to watch the movie she paid to see.

Sever

# ? Nov 19, 2021 13:59

sugar mouse: Oct 17, 2006

Invisible Clergy posted:

lol

AITA for letting my dog eat off my fork?

Top comment by OP:

r/relationships: I fully understand this is “disgusting” and “unhygienic,” but

Even if it is pretty gross to share a fork with your dog, going and shouting at random strangers in a park is massively AH behaviour here.

Also the smoking couple are both AH. I smoke but my other half doesn't and it's easy to find ways to compromise like not smoking in the house, brushing your teeth before anything intimate etc.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:09

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for not throwing away a dress

quote:

On mobile. Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

My (25F) best friends wedding was this past weekend. There were 4 bridesmaids in total (including me). We all got the same matching dresses, costing about $220 each. Super pretty, comfortable, and definitely something you could where to another event or just a night out. This morning me and the other 3 bridesmaids got a group text from the bride saying she expected us to not wear the dresses we wore to the wedding anywhere else and to get rid of them because they were only for her special occasion. I replied saying I wouldn�t be tossing out a dress I spent that much money on and now she won�t talk to me. AITA?

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:11

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

The more I read about weddings, the more I think the Dothraki got the poo poo right. Lots of booze, sex, some fighting, who the gently caress cares what you wear.

Maybe have a few bounce houses for the kids though.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:18

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

sugar mouse posted:

Even if it is pretty gross to share a fork with your dog, going and shouting at random strangers in a park is massively AH behaviour here.

Also the smoking couple are both AH. I smoke but my other half doesn't and it's easy to find ways to compromise like not smoking in the house, brushing your teeth before anything intimate etc.

Nah the smoker is the rear end in a top hat in that story, by a wide margin.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:21

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA? I ruin movies we are barely watching by sharing my thoughts.

quote:

So yeah, I can admit I'm an ADD fueled, opinionated talker. So I have sympathy to whomever watches movies with me. But I find when movies or TV are put on less as something to watch, and more as background noise by my girlfreind, I tend to ruin the experience by sharing thoughts I have as they pop up. Direct example, tonight my girlfreind chose to turn off 2001 A Space Odyssey after I:

Asked why she chose it.

Acted out the apes discovering the monolith scene.

I dont blame her, but also, Really? 2001 A space Odysessy as a casual night watch? Like, tbat's a commitment. I'm down, but if we're just gonna be on our phones, I can think of better background noise. But if she was in the mood, by all means, just say so and I'll fall in with it.

She turns it off, switches to Journey To The Center Of The Earth with Brandan Frasier. We watch about five minutes and the movie mentions tivo-ing Family Guy, and I say I dont care for the writing technique of using current references to make a work seem hipper, as it limits the movies appeal in the future... She flips out saying I dont need to criticize every movie.

At this point I'm feeling unsatisfied in that I have to just keep all my thoughts to myself when watching a movie that has already been seen plenty of times before, and we aren't even paying close attention to it, but I understand that maybe she's just in a different mode than me, and realize I may be ruining something simple for her, so I go to do some stuff on my laptop. I'm a bit frustrated because I didn't view what I did as criticizing the movie, so much as pointing out a writing technique that turns me off, and just wanted to share that, no indictment of the current movie. I go on my laptop and she follows me to tell complain about how I can't let things go. I point out I wasn't intending to criticize the movie, that I did let it go and redirected my energy, and that I don't care to continue the conversation, because I felt I was the one told to shut up, and just dealt with it, but now I'm annoyed I'm being pursued over it, and have basically said leave me alone.

I guess I feel that since there was no discussion about preferences for the night, I'm being told to just shut up and watch whatever she puts on. Which if I were to just put on whatever I felt without consideration of her interests my choices would be very different from night to night...

Either way, she is sleeping in the other room tonight because I'm intolerable... could be worse, but it leaves me wondering... AITA?

"Just let me eat my slop, OP!"

People like OP's gf are the worst. If you don't want to talk at all while watching tv in a private residence, what is the point of watching it together? But of course if you try to leave so they can have their perfect silence, they say "wait where are you going?" There's about 4 lines of dialogue in 2001 too, so it's the perfect movie to talk over while you're both on your phones.

That said, "acting out" the scene where the monkeys play with the bone is unfathomably obnoxious, so OP is probably much more annoying than he's characterized here.

sugar mouse posted:

Even if it is pretty gross to share a fork with your dog, going and shouting at random strangers in a park is massively AH behaviour here.

Also the smoking couple are both AH. I smoke but my other half doesn't and it's easy to find ways to compromise like not smoking in the house, brushing your teeth before anything intimate etc.

An extremely rare example of OP being wrong, but not being an rear end in a top hat. Unlike a smoker, he's only hurting himself by eating dogshit on purpose to own the libs.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:22

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not throwing away a dress

Oh, so you basically want me to return the dress to you? Sure, I can do that. It'll be $220 for the dress plus a $30 restocking fee. I accept cash or Venmo, which would you like to pay me with?

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:32

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

Are Wendy's burgs really small or something? Because chowing down on two whole burgers plus sides, I assume, seems like a lot to require to sustain oneself for a couple hours of sitting in a car.

Mentioning that they got fries and nuggets makes it sound like they ordered stuff off of the value menu because they have a deal where you get a burger, fries, nuggets and a drink. The sandwiches in that are on the smaller side. Still doesn't justify not sharing though.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:36

Harold Fjord: Jan 3, 2004

elise the great posted:

I really hope the advice columnist explained to him that this is legally and ethically considered sexual abuse of a child and that willfully exposing a child to sexual behaviors will absolutely put you in jail

Lol what? "loving too loud is child abuse" ?

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:38

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA? I ruin movies we are barely watching by sharing my thoughts.

"Just let me eat my slop, OP!"

People like OP's gf are the worst. If you don't want to talk at all while watching tv in a private residence, what is the point of watching it together? But of course if you try to leave so they can have their perfect silence, they say "wait where are you going?" There's about 4 lines of dialogue in 2001 too, so it's the perfect movie to talk over while you're both on your phones.

That said, "acting out" the scene where the monkeys play with the bone is unfathomably obnoxious, so OP is probably much more annoying than he's characterized here.

The OP is DEFINITELY waaaaaaaaaaaay more annoying than they're making themselves out to be.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:48

duck trucker: Oct 14, 2017; YOSPOS

Harold Fjord posted:

Lol what? "loving too loud is child abuse" ?

I'm going to guess loving too loud once or twice isn't. But when the children are starting to be visibly affected and voicing the discomfort and you refuse to stop it starts to move into a grey area.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:48

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

Leaving ur cumsock on the floor is elder abuse

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:10

Doctor J Off: Dec 28, 2005; There Is

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA? I ruin movies we are barely watching by sharing my thoughts.

"Just let me eat my slop, OP!"

People like OP's gf are the worst. If you don't want to talk at all while watching tv in a private residence, what is the point of watching it together? But of course if you try to leave so they can have their perfect silence, they say "wait where are you going?" There's about 4 lines of dialogue in 2001 too, so it's the perfect movie to talk over while you're both on your phones.

That said, "acting out" the scene where the monkeys play with the bone is unfathomably obnoxious, so OP is probably much more annoying than he's characterized here.

I couldn't possibly disagree more. It reads like he doesn't respect his girlfriend at all and is basically saying "you don't actually want to see the movie, you just want to pretend to watch it to look smart." And in exchange for condescending to allowing her to choose a movie, he wants to make fun of her and the movie the whole time. You can tell, because he considers watching a movie some kind of "commitment". When else does one sit down and watch a movie, if not on movie night?

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:16

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Doctor J Off posted:

I couldn't possibly disagree more. It reads like he doesn't respect his girlfriend at all and is basically saying "you don't actually want to see the movie, you just want to pretend to watch it to look smart." And in exchange for condescending to allowing her to choose a movie, he wants to make fun of her and the movie the whole time. You can tell, because he considers watching a movie some kind of "commitment". When else does one sit down and watch a movie, if not on movie night?

OP is MST3K poisoned.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:26

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Harold Fjord posted:

Lol what? "loving too loud is child abuse" ?

Heads up on this one, some redditors deep dived into the OP�s previous posts and he�s unequivocally a terrible father of the �well I don�t hit them therefore I�m not abusive� type. The teen has been bullying and acting out and no one seems to know how this behavior came about!!!!

Doctor J Off posted:

I couldn't possibly disagree more. It reads like he doesn't respect his girlfriend at all and is basically saying "you don't actually want to see the movie, you just want to pretend to watch it to look smart." And in exchange for condescending to allowing her to choose a movie, he wants to make fun of her and the movie the whole time. You can tell, because he considers watching a movie some kind of "commitment". When else does one sit down and watch a movie, if not on movie night?

Yeah, I love to riff on movies when everyone else is into it, otherwise you�re a tremendous dick. Even if it�s some tripe, if someone is trying to actually watch a movie, I�m not going poo poo all over that - it�s rude. I feel like that�s something that goes without explanation.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:29

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Cthulu Carl posted:

OP is MST3K poisoned.

If anything I get more wannabe manic pixie dream boy vibes.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:31

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA? I ruin movies we are barely watching by sharing my thoughts.

People like OP's gf are the worst. If you don't want to talk at all while watching tv in a private residence, what is the point of watching it together? But of course if you try to leave so they can have their perfect silence, they say "wait where are you going?" There's about 4 lines of dialogue in 2001 too, so it's the perfect movie to talk over while you're both on your phones.

That said, "acting out" the scene where the monkeys play with the bone is unfathomably obnoxious, so OP is probably much more annoying than he's characterized here.

OP is absolutely being far more annoying than he's presenting himself here. OP's own admissions include calling himself an opinionated talker, questioning why gf chose a movie, critiquing movie culture in the first five minutes of a movie, and acting out scenes.

I'm betting if we actually saw what was happening, it's not "GF demands nobody talk at all" and more "for gently caress's sake OP, can you keep your mouth shut for two minutes? two minutes goddammit!".

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:31

killer crane: Dec 30, 2006; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA? I ruin movies we are barely watching by sharing my thoughts.

quote:
tivo-ing Family Guy

Who the hell still calls it tivo-ing? Is OP in his 50s? Is a 50 year old adult man acting like this, and posting on reddit to find out in he's the rear end in a top hat?

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:32

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

killer crane posted:

Who the hell still calls it tivo-ing? Is OP in his 50s? Is a 50 year old adult man acting like this, and posting on reddit to find out in he's the rear end in a top hat?

I don't remember if "Tivo" was ever verbed, but if it was, it was certainly when the screen play for Brendan Fraser's Journey to the Center of the Earth was being written.

Also the fact that he had to crack that gem out five minutes into a movie they've seen plenty of times means the OP has zero new material and has been saying these same "Jokes" dozens of times.

The fact that the girlfriend hasn't murdered him yet should be cause for living sainthood.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:37

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Pierce rapid-firing his rehearsed jokes at the screen

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:50

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

teen witch posted:

Heads up on this one, some redditors deep dived into the OP�s previous posts and he�s unequivocally a terrible father of the �well I don�t hit them therefore I�m not abusive� type. The teen has been bullying and acting out and no one seems to know how this behavior came about!!!!

What�s this in reference to because the keeping kids up at night with my great orgasms is from an advice column in slate.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:53

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

We just did a poly thing so time for this thread's other favorite theme
TIFU by telling a girl it's nice to see her halping her granfather at the shop. It was her husband.

quote:

We have a local shop that is ran by an old man, probably on his 70's or 80's. I love the place because he sells home made jams in glass containers, and when you finish the jam it becomes a beautiful glass cup. Anyway, today I came to the store because I was low on jam and milk and such. Instead of the old man was a girl my age (in her 20).

I asked if the old man is okey (you know, it's winter, plus there's a pandemic). She said he is fine, but the weather is hard on his bones. I said I understand, and that it's incredibly nice of her to take care of him and his shop. We are probably the same age and it's nice of her to take care of her granfather like that.

Her face went blank. When angry. When spitfull. "He's my husband. We have a 2 years old together."

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:53

darkwasthenight: Jan 7, 2011; GENE TRAITOR

Invisible Clergy posted:

lol

AITA for not wanting to date a virgin?

Bit of an unusual one. Thought a spoiler would spice it up, but it's not really interesting enough to be posted alone:

Buddy, this is barely an issue nevermind one that requires reddit weighing in. Have the conversation and if he is waiting till marriage then say "you're great, but I'm gagging for cock already so we're just not compatible" and politely move on; if he isn't waiting for marriage then he will shortly no longer be a virgin. Where's the dilemma??

File under 'could be solved with one conversation'.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:53

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

No, see, they want him to already not be a virgin. Someone else can go through the awkwardness of the first time and teach him what goes where and how to find the little man in the boat, they don't want to. All of the fun, none of the effort.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:57

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# ? May 28, 2024 05:22

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Send 'em off to sex boot camp.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 16:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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