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Ichabod Sexbeast posted:On the other hand, if they gave you more money that could be exchanged for any number of goods and services Well, yes. But I went into that conference room expecting "Thanks for all your hard work, here's a t-shirt and an ice cream". Like, I could be disappointed there was no bonus, but I knew that was never in the cards because, well, 
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Nov 19, 2021 15:30
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I still think about the place I worked where the boss said he'd accept my requested salary but I'd not get bonuses. I accepted that. I found out later he always made excuses to not pay bonuses and I got like a couple hundo for new years. gently caress bosses.
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Nov 19, 2021 15:34
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 Oh drat, my bad, I didn't realize it was Tempoarily.
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Nov 19, 2021 15:50
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So for those who had been following the drama at my workplace: the $250k of work that was essentially given away by my VP has ballooned to "a few million" based on the completion of the audit. He has been soft-demoted and his authority has been greatly curtailed. He is now solely in charge of client-facing communications. Its a bit embarrassing watching him try to save face and spin things, saying stuff like "Ive decided to take a step back and let [other VP] handle things so as to not muddy the waters". The other VP has taken over management of this project and things are marginally better; there is an actual schedule now. My interview the other week didn't pan out so I'm still looking for an exit plan 
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Nov 19, 2021 16:03
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A member of our lovely userbase submitted a ticket that was basically "This isn't working, Tim says someone needs to fix it." What "This" is, in what way it is not working, or who Tim is was left a mystery. IM the user through Teams, mention the ticket number and ask what is happening, the user asks what the ticket number is... This'll go great. I still have no idea what the issue is because any questions I asked was answered with "That's not what I said" (Then how come I can copy-paste it right from the conversation?) "I've worked in IT for 35 years" (Why is it alwats 35 years?) "I'm very frustrated, I don't need your attitude" (All I did was ask if you got an error message) and "I'll just talk to your manager" (Good luck with that, I just emailed him the transcript from Teams and he's known for playing the "You wanna come to me after making GBS threads on my people? I'll go to your boss's boss, let's throw down" game to protect us)
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Nov 19, 2021 20:45
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Cthulu Carl posted:A member of our lovely userbase submitted a ticket that was basically "This isn't working, Tim says someone needs to fix it." What "This" is, in what way it is not working, or who Tim is was left a mystery. IM the user through Teams, mention the ticket number and ask what is happening, the user asks what the ticket number is... This'll go great. Please update us My favorite content in this thread is people getting some comeuppance for being bad coworkers. I had another good one with my willfully computer illiterate coworker yesterday.  "Henry, I hate to bother you, but I can't log in." "Can't log into what?""It just says 'bad gateway.'""What says that? Your main desktop login?""My work page.""The what? Here, I'll help you."Turns out they just can't log into the main company administrative resources page, which is just a directory for various stuff they need their username/pw to access. I still don't know what it is they need to access yet, though. "Ok, what specifically do you need to log in to?""I just need to log in to the site.""Yes, I understand, but what do you need access to once you log in?""My work page, I need to log in so I can do the work page!"No idea what this is about still, there's about 8 different resources to log into, including HR, purchasing, Outlook via the internet, department intranet, TimeClock, etc. "Ok, if I can get you logged in, tell me the first thing you are going to do when you log in.""I'm going to clock in!""Aha! You need to log into TimeClock."So I googled 'site:companypage.com "timeclock" which links me directly to the TimeClock portal and they can log in. I felt a little bad just doing it rather than talking them through in case it happens again, but during this whole process they were doing things like mixing up the address bar and the search bar, closing the whole browser when they just wanted to open a new tab, etc. and I know that any path of actions outside their normal morning log in clock in routine would result in vapor lock. They are old and I feel sorry for them sometimes because the world is fast and confusing for someone their age but dammit learn to use the tools you need to do your job. HenryJLittlefinger fucked around with this message at 22:06 on Nov 19, 2021 |
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Nov 19, 2021 21:52
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Escape From Noise posted:This guy would get his e-mails printed out and then try to "click" the hyperlinks on the printed sheets of paper and would start going apeshit when nothing happened, slamming the "link" on the page over and over.
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Nov 20, 2021 00:57
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HenryJLittlefinger posted:
FYI, that's a VERY good question. I haven't done desktop/user support in a long time and I don't think I would have come up with that, even when I was "in practice".
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Nov 20, 2021 01:00
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It is a good question because some users get into the weeds on how something isn’t working (and will use computer words they half remembered from an episode of CSI). Ask them what they want to do and go from there.
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Nov 20, 2021 01:49
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I made the mistake of asking for a pin to locate something and they're insisting an area 5 minutes out of town is somewhere in Ohio. E: We are not in Ohio, or a bordering state. But he almost got the right country so that's good. "What format is are those coordinates in?" should not confuse a 70 year old. They grew up with lat long ffs
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Nov 20, 2021 02:32
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Collateral Damage posted:I'd love to know what outcome he was expecting from poking an underlined piece of printed text on a paper. That the paper should change content? That the link would open on his computer? Same. When she was telling me this I thought I had to be hearing something wrong. I asked what outcome he expected, but she didn't know either.
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Nov 20, 2021 02:46
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I had a customer claim we would purposefully adjust the big clock in the parking garage so she would think she was still in her hour window, miss it and have to pay 1, 50 more due to that. My boss said to let her out for free, I refused and let her pay completely.
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Nov 20, 2021 08:06
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HenryJLittlefinger posted:Please update us Timeclock is not a tool he needs to do his job, it's a tool his job requires to monitor him doing his job. The way he was given to log into this monitoring system wasn't working It's the duality of IT services, they complain when users don't follow the instructions, they also complain when users don't work around issues themselves, by logging into a third party site or something.
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Nov 20, 2021 08:32
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Funktastic posted:a job application asked me to rank if torturing a person was worse than prostitution
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Nov 20, 2021 16:27
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Maybe you shouldn’t apply to be an admin assistant for the Medellin cartel then dude
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Nov 20, 2021 17:01
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Ripped directly from a "What Final Fantasy Character are You?" online quiz. Edit:. As an admin assistant, you should have ranked telephone higher. AntiZorn fucked around with this message at 17:15 on Nov 20, 2021 |
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Nov 20, 2021 17:13
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I see your mistake. By admitting to your love of adventure, you have revealed yourself to be selfish and inconsiderate of your family and place in society! Obviously you will wantonly abandon your important post of administrative assistant, the moment you hear the call of adventure. Seriously though, you should have put "telephone" first.
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Nov 20, 2021 20:46
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Dongsturm posted:I see your mistake. By admitting to your love of adventure, you have revealed yourself to be selfish and inconsiderate of your family and place in society! Obviously you will wantonly abandon your important post of administrative assistant, the moment you hear the call of adventure. Ah, but you forget. Being an administrative assistant is the greatest adventure of them all.
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Nov 20, 2021 21:01
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Why is prostitution in the bottom half of the list?
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Nov 20, 2021 21:49
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thats a good way to not get a job at those brothels in Nevada.
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Nov 20, 2021 22:29
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PhazonLink posted:thats a good way to not get a job at those brothels in Nevada. Or a high level finance job.
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Nov 20, 2021 23:08
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A madman should've been way higher
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Nov 21, 2021 05:24
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My company has spent half a year telling everyone to get vaccinated ASAP, because we work in public facing, high transmission environments. November was to be the cut-off time, with all staff having to submit proof of vaccination, or if they were medically exempt, they would need documentation from a doctor explaining the legitimate condition preventing them from getting the shot. So once November hit, a bunch of people were put on unpaid leave. Some refused to get vaccinated, for whatever real or imagined reason. Some of them just refused to disclose their medical information to the employer out of a privacy concern. We have a Union, who has gone to bat for these people. I understand about the privacy concerns, because your employer doesn't need to be up in your medical history, but the fact that we're trying to keep people from getting sick and dying kind of overrides that. Anyway, I just got an email today saying that due to staff shortages, all of those people who are currently unvaccinated or were told not to report to work, well we need you back to work starting Monday.  I feel bad for the people who cannot get immunized because of health reasons, because morons are going to get them killed. I can't wait for case counts to start blowing up in 2 weeks, while everybody makes the surprised pikachu face.
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Nov 21, 2021 18:18
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We have a client who requires that I have access to their internal email system to respond to the dumbass questions they ask me. As part of having an account on the system I must pass a few mandatory trainings. One of the trainings is active shooter training. I work from home, if there's an active shooter here it's probably fuckin' me.
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Nov 22, 2021 14:27
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I love those trainings. So what do you do when there is an active shooter? I don’t know, hide or go punch the person in the face I guess? Not like anybody is gonna come save you!
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Nov 22, 2021 14:52
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You shoot them back until they are dead. That last part is v important, you want to be telling your side of the story only.
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Nov 22, 2021 14:57
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I've had active shooter training. Turns out the main lesson is: run away. I could have figured that one out by myself, thanks.
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Nov 22, 2021 15:30
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This is from a couple of pages back, but Barudak--you ever taken your team to the batting cages? They sell beer.
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Nov 22, 2021 15:55
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The key to survivng an active shooter is, unsurprisingly, not being seen.
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Nov 22, 2021 15:56
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We’re going full mandate for employees, gotta have proof of first dose by dec 4th. I’m surprised we didn’t do it months ago considering that most of them actually work in hospitals. There are already ~40 idiots on medical loa because our hospital contracts were requiring it and the idiots refused. If you do get a medical/religious exemption and the hospital is okay with it you have to submit weekly swab results.
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Nov 22, 2021 16:14
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Rent-A-Cop posted:We have a client who requires that I have access to their internal email system to respond to the dumbass questions they ask me. As part of having an account on the system I must pass a few mandatory trainings. One of the trainings is active shooter training. On the plus side you'll be armed so you can defend yourself.
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Nov 22, 2021 17:05
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DreadUnknown posted:The key to survivng an active shooter is, unsurprisingly, not being seen. Why do you call the active? Is there an inactive or passive shooter just lurking about?
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Nov 22, 2021 17:27
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champagne posting posted:Why do you call the active? Is there an inactive or passive shooter just lurking about? Yeah, the weirdos who open and/or concealed carry in grocery stores.
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Nov 22, 2021 17:49
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My job did tell me some people get too caught up in work to notice the emergency of an active shooter or fire, so they just keep working at their desk while everyone else leaves
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Nov 22, 2021 17:55
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bobjr posted:My job did tell me some people get too caught up in work to notice the emergency of an active shooter or fire, so they just keep working at their desk while everyone else leaves My first company after college was in a building that had some issue with the fire alarm system and so we had to vacate the building for 20-30 minutes every week or two. This eventually became unacceptable to management and there was an email that said you would stay at your desk unless it was a scheduled drill. This policy didn't survive long because the fire department walked into our (supposedly) locked office, saw all of us were still there and forced us outside. We probably should have sued the company, now that I think about that.
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Nov 22, 2021 18:44
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bobjr posted:My job did tell me some people get too caught up in work to notice the emergency of an active shooter or fire, so they just keep working at their desk while everyone else leaves loving Christ, it sounds on the outside how it feels on the inside. Either everyone is so much louder than normal or this is really starting to get to me. Hold it together... Ah, silence, much better, now maybe I can actually get something done now that Tammy isn't yammering away about guns or whatever the gently caress.
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Nov 22, 2021 18:46
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DreadUnknown posted:The key to survivng an active shooter is, unsurprisingly, not being seen. Here's a helpful training video to help you develop that skill. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VokGd5zhGJ4
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Nov 22, 2021 19:16
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Rent-A-Cop posted:One of the trainings is active shooter training. My company has one of those. For whatever reason instead of just buying some off-the-shelf training program, they decided to produce their own. So it's got impressively dramatized video of a guy with an airsoft gun shooting up a Big Lots. It's actually filmed and acted pretty competently, I'm hoping someone at corporate managed to wrangle themselves into a directorial debut. They even have the guy playing the shooter wearing some right-winger confederate flag stuff. The thing that we still joke about at work is where the last tip is "In last resort, fight back!" and it cuts to a video of one of the store workers hucking a Panteone cake at the shooter. You know, one of these:  It's loving hilarious, and we still joke about recieving a shipment of active shooter defense weapons when we get those in.
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Nov 22, 2021 19:36
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RUN HIDE FIGHT! That's the only thing I remember from our active shooter training video, because they repeated it every 30 seconds. "blah blah blah RUN HIDE FIGHT! blah blah blah RUN HIDE FIGHT! blah blah blah RUN HIDE FIGHT!" It's like "Stop, Drop and Roll". Hopefully I don't mix the two up.
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Nov 22, 2021 19:47
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 10:06 |
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That’s really all you need to take away which is why they keep repeating it. When the adrenaline dumps you can’t think straight, so keeping it simple is the best thing to do for this particular training purpose.
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Nov 22, 2021 19:52
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