pentyne posted:

Might've just been a desperate attempt to salvage the relationship by adding a new pet for them to bond with. People will end having actual kids in situations like that too.

packetmantis posted:

When I walk up to my cat sometimes she dips her head so I can kiss her right between her little baby ears.

Breetai posted:

Mine does that and her little ears flatten in anticipation and it's the best thing even though my body is by now pretty much just a meat mecha being piloted by toxoplasmosis.

coronatae posted:

I will kiss any cat, any time, anywhere. You cannot stop me from kissing the cat

quote:

There’s this guy in my grade whom we can call “Paul”. We’re all in high school. Paul regularly goes around making racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, etc. comments. He’s probably discriminated against every single minority group that exists. He also happens to be Muslim.

The other day, there were these Asian kids eating lunch together. Paul then walked by with his friends, pointed to the Asian kids and said, “Woah! Watch out guys, it reeks of COVID around here!”. Some other people told Paul he was being an rear end in a top hat, but Paul continued to laugh at them.

I then spoke up, and said, “Hey Paul, mind if I see your backpack for a sec? Nothing personal, it’s just that Muslims like you usually carry bombs in there”. Paul got quiet real fast, and said “drat, chill bro” as he walked on. His friends laughed for a moment before continuing with him.

The Asian students thanked me for standing up, but they said that I shouldn’t have stooped to Pauls level and said that. I pointed out that people had tried standing up to him in other ways, and he still kept being an rear end in a top hat. I promised them that I wouldn’t say anything like that in the future.

I know that what I said was islamophobic, but it was a last resort when nothing else worked. And Paul has stopped his bigoted comments after this incident.

AITA?

quote:

When I was in 4th grade, I got a pet rabbit for Christmas, his name is Coca. Funny thing is, we later realized I’m allergic to rabbits. I’m a sophomore in high school now and we still have Coca. He’s entirely my responsibility, I feed him, clean the cage, etc. the problem, whenever I clean the cage, my allergies go off. Not like sniffling a little, i get really itchy, normally I have to use my nebulizer because I can’t breathe. I kissed the top of his head a few weeks ago, and my lips swelled up double their size and didn’t go down until the following day. All on top of a runny nose and feeling lovely. I normally have to wear gloves and a mask, but it dosent help much. My moms gets mad at me for not taking him out of his cage ever, or putting off cleaning the rabbit cage as much as possible, but it’s because I always feel horrible after any interaction with him. I love him to death but I want to get rid of him because I can’t give him the love he deserves without making myself miserable. My mom dosent want to get rid of him though because she wants a farm and dreams of having rabbits, that would, most likely, be my responsibility to. I also, got upset at her for getting rid of a family dog(because she didn’t want to care for it) and yelled at her that I have actual reasons for wanting to get rid of Coca, not just because I’m a lazy *****.

Am I in the wrong? I don’t think I’m the rear end in a top hat, but everyone in my house makes me feel like I am. Should I be responsible for a decision I made in elementary school? I just don’t know what I should do. (Edit: I apologized for yelling and getting upset, she got rid of a family dog that I love and didn’t tell me until the morning of, so I was sobbing my eyes out and angry, especially because I’ve been asking to get rid of Coca for years)

quote:

So I work for animal control, not an officer I just caretake the surrenders and arrests that come in. Recently we've had an influx of rabbits. I don't particularly like rabbits but I would never maliciously hurt one like I would never hurt any animal out of maliciousness.

That being said, I do hunt a few times a year and have hunted rabbit before. My co-workers know this but i didn't bring it up unless asked. The other day when I was cleaning out the rabbit cages one of them was on the floor while I was emptying out the cage. He then proceeded to leave a trail of poop all around the room for me to clean up. Annoying but happens. So I picked up the rabbit with the intention of putting him in an empty cage so I could clean the floor and I make the snide remark:

"Alright buddy, you're starting to look a lot less cute and a lot more like lunch."

Obviously I was joking but one of my coworkers who was passing down the hall heard me and came running in freaking out and pulled the rabbit from my arms. I asked her what gives and she said she heard me and she was going to report me for trying to hurt the rabbits because obviously I was a raging sociopath and couldnt be allowed to handle them.

Clarification: this coworker has a trauma surrounding this that I didn't know until after the fact. She had a rabbit when she was a kid and her grandfather killed it and made her eat it in a stew before telling her what it was. If I knew I would have been more careful because that's super messed up.

She reported me to my supervisor watched the security cameras which have no audio so they just showed me doing my work as normal. However I was given a formal reprimand for being "culturally insensitive". Now here is where I think I took it too far, I pulled my native tribal ID out of my wallet and said that hunting was part of my culture and by banning me from taking about my culture and would be guilty of ethnic discrimination. Honestly, I was just pissed and refusing to sign any acknowledgement of guilt for being rude to a rabbit not to mention the ridiculousness that all of this was from me talking to myself. She sighed and assaigned me to the cat section, which I am certainly not complaining about. But she told me any comments regarding hunting given the place of work is innapropriate regardless of culture. I wanted to argue with her that if her concern was animal well being that she should no longer allow any farmed meat products in the break room but I also wanted to keep my job.

AITA for not being more careful with my words? I really feel bad about triggering my coworkers past but i'm also kind of pissed because I have a perfect work record that's now tarnished for no reason whatsoever.

EDIT: the reason why I got so aggravated and pulled put my tribal ID was because in the past we had chickens in our care that were officially named by another coworker in the system as Nugget and Gravy. I did what I did because I knew they didn't have anything on me regarding saying meat puns to myself because apparently by their own policy it was allowed to use meat puns in official documentation. But for some reason saying it to myself caused some kind of personal concern about my potential behavior. That's why I did what I did. Did they actually expect me to hunt and skin an animal to eat on the job? It sounded to me like they were accusing me of being a savage who couldn't resist hunting and eating an animal on the job. And I felt like there was some definite racial undertones.

quote:

He was born my brother, but he's my son so I don't want to call him that. To make it simple I'll call him Jayden or son.

Growing up was horrible for me. My parents hated me and the effort and money meeded to do the bare minimum. It was just hell. When I was 16, Jayden was born. I basically had to raise him myself, between work and school. My parents divorced shortly after he was born and both refused to take him, because they 'did enough' with me and wanted to be 'free'. So at 18 I adopted him (they were happy to give him away, even prepared the paperwork and stuff) and I moved away with a friend.

I never planned to tell Jayden the truth. His whole life I've been his mum, and he's been my son. That's how I see it, and was basically always the mother, even before I adopted him. They wanted nothing to do with him, and I know I'll never abandon my son, so I thought thinking you had a mum was better than no parents. As far as he was concerned, his father was nice but passed when I was pregnant.

Since then I married my husband, and had two more children. I have zero contact or connection with any family other than my son. So my husband didn't know either, and has treated Jayden like a son. Jayden is now 14 and loves his stepdad (calls him Dad!) and is an amazing big brother, the three kids are super close.

However, two months ago my sister reached out to me. Said she wanted to talk and meet me and Jayden, and that her father missed us and regrets not having a relationship. Ive never met her, she must have been born after I left. I basically told she was mistaken and had the wrong person. I didn't feel it would be good to say the truth, given it sounded like she cares about her father. I blocked her and have tried to just ignore it.

Unfortunately she also messaged Jayden. Apparently he didn't believe her, cause I'm 'mum', but he found it weird. He brought it up a few weeks ago, as a joke apparently, and I tried to just act confused, but I'm not a good actor. He said I basically went pale and was obviously hiding something. He brought it up again when we were alone and I explained it to him. That our parents sucked, but I loved him. That I adopted him, and he's my son whatever they say.

He hasn't reacted well. He has basically ignored me since then, for the most part. My husband told me that he's just confused and needs some time (Jayden has talked to him about it). My husband wasn't happy I hid it, but he understands why I would. I really am lucky he's understanding. No one has told our daughters, but they've noticed him being distant to me. I'm sure they would love him no matter what, he'll always be their older brother.

He was finally willing to talk a week ago, but said he wants to meet his biological father and our sister. He said that he understands if he can't, but I think that was for my sake rather than how he feels. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want father to hurt him, he was so willing to abandon Jayden before. He's my son, I love him and raised him and have to protect him. But it's family and he really wants to know them, or at least meet, and I have to admit our sister is innocent in this. But it means reconnecting with that abusive piece of poo poo, even if hes better now or whatever.

What should I do? I'm just scared and confused. My husband has no idea and so far has just been playimg peacemaker. I want to do right by Jayden, but Im terrified that letting them meet will ruin everything.

quote:

This didn't work last time I posted it but hoping it does now as things have spiralled.

TLDR hosed my husband's friend while he watched, per his request. He left me over it, told everyone who will listen that I cheated on him, and I'm pregnant. I need to confirm who the father is.

My husband and I have 2 kids, ages 2 and 4. We married when I was pregnant with the 4 year old, and have been together just over 5 years total.

About 6 months ago my husband asked me to have sex with another man while he watched. I was not 100% comfortable with it, but he asked a few times and I eventually agreed. I had a couple of rules, like whoever he found had to have a recent and clean STI test because husband didn't want condoms used (I was on birth control), and he had to set it all up, and that was the extent of my involvement until the event itself. He found a friend willing to do it. Husband said he was sure he wanted this and begged me to go through with it. I did, and he left within a week, citing this as his reason.

He's now telling anyone who will listen that the friend and I cheated. The friend told the truth, but obviously no one believes that my husband asked his friend to gently caress me. If someone has asked me about it, I've told the truth, but no one believes me, either. I've been cut off from my husband's family due to this, and as my husband is not currently in contact with me or the kids, the kids have been cut off as well, which is hurting them. Most have just gone silent on me, but the few who have reached out have not been kind. It was our younger child's birthday a few days ago and we arranged to do something with just family (grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, all dad's side) and no one came. My brother ended up dropping by but that was a surprise as he wasn't invited as I'm low/no contact with most of my family, so my kids have primarily interacted with their dad's family and that's the side they're more attached to.

It's been about 4.5-5 months since the friend, and a month ago I found out I was pregnant. I had plenty of sex with my husband both before and after, but the fact I also had sex with the friend, and my only protection has clearly failed, cannot be overlooked. I'm now starting to show.

I need to know who the father is. My husband isn't speaking to me, not even to discuss a divorce or the kids, and I don't even know where he's living right now, but if I ask the friend to get tested and my husband finds out, this whole situation becomes significantly worse.

There are a couple of aspects I need help with, so I'd be grateful for any help on any of them:

What do I do about my husband's family, who the kids adore and really want to speak to?

What do I do about my husband, who is ignoring our kids?

What do I do about the baby? Do I talk to the friend first or my husband? Neither of them? Both? What's the safest way to go about this?

quote:

TLDR I want a divorce and full custody and husband wants neither but holds all of the power here.

I went for a DNA test and ran it against a cheek swab from my 2 year old, and the result suggests they are full siblings. I told my husband, who has said he will be arranging his own paternity test.

I called a solicitor and we're trying to start legal proceedings. Unfortunately, I live in a country with very specific rules around divorce, so the easiest way to end my marriage would be if my husband filed for divorce, claiming I cheated. It is still possible for me to apply for a divorce, but it's more complicated as he hasn't been gone long enough to claim desertion, and hasn't done anything divorce-worthy in the eyes of the law, so I'm leaving the specifics to my legal rep and hoping they can sort it, but we informed my husband, and we're kind of hoping he files first on grounds of adultery. While adultery shouldn't affect the outcome of the divorce re splitting assets and custody, though my legal reps are checking our pre nup, and 50/50 custody is the norm here, I intend to go for full custody as he has ignored the kids since he left, and even when he was here, I was by far the more involved parent.

When I told him I was pregnant, which was after I told him about my plan for divorce, he then sent me several messages saying he forgives me for cheating and he wants to be a family. I had asked his friend to contact snapchat to recover the old messages in which my husband asked him to gently caress me, and when I went to ask him for an update, the friend appeared to have blocked me. I have also recieved roses from my husband, with a note reiterating that he forgives me, he loves me and the kids, and he wants to make this work for the baby. I don't even know where he got my new address.

As he has not offered an alternative explanation at this point I'm going with the general consensus on my last post, which is that my husband has manipulated me into cheating on him so he can divorce me while getting as much sympathy as possible. New developments suggest the baby has ruined this plan. I'm also assuming that if the paternity test shows the baby isn't his, he will divorce me, though based on the siblingship test this baby is his, which means my marital status is in the hands of a prick.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for giving a bigoted jerk a taste of his own medicine?

Nope. Never. Dudes who throw rocks need to be able to dodge them just as well.

Stoop to their level and make them taste the curb. Violence, not rising above, is what bullies understand.

quote:

I work at a coffee chain and ive been forced to handle foods against my faith. i figured the chain would be fine with me working there since they put 'diversity' and 'accomodation' above everything but me being the only religious minority means the higher ups have forced me into it.

everyone asks why i took the job, but i guess i was blinded by the 'accepting environment' and i only have experience in food service so i couldnt really take other jobs. having food service experience means retail and clothing shops havent considered me

they claim i wouldnt be able to work properly, but i disagree as food isnt the only thing we do there. ive worked shifts before where i havent even touched food sometimes (when the nicer people there didnt force me)

we're also a diverse city, so im not sure how this is a big request.

aita for wanting to not do stuff against my beliefs? ive wanted to leave the job for a while anyways but there arent many jobs around. my religion provides a pass if you're in a specific situation so im fine there, but i feel... kinda discriminated against?

considering at one point i was asked why i cant just leave (sorry i have to work. i wouldnt have taken the job but i have to make money to survive)

edit: as usual, stabs at my beliefs. swag. very classy guys.

anyways ive been trying for months now to get a new job, so hopefully i can find one soon. i wish i didnt HAVE to take this job

ah here come the hateful private messages. real swag guys nice one

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for wanting to not do stuff against my religion at work?

Your morals won't let you do a job? Time to get new morals or a new job.

No, OP didn't say what food. Pork products? Meat in general?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for wanting to not do stuff against my religion at work?

Your morals won't let you do a job? Time to get new morals or a new job.

No, OP didn't say what food. Pork products? Meat in general?

RBA Starblade posted:

The coffee itself and Mormon, I bet

MarcusSA posted:

I feel like if it were religious they would have explicitly said so in the post.

Barudak posted:

I mean, it is pretty clearly haram for her to be selling Bacon products in the first place, so, uh, why is she even at that job.

PetraCore posted:

Money is required to obtain goods and services.

The real question is what the heck sort of retail job doesn't consider food service experience valid.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for wanting to not do stuff against my religion at work?

quote:

i figured the chain would be fine with me working there since they put 'diversity' and 'accomodation' above everything

value-brand cereal posted:

AITA for making an "insensitive" comment at work to a rabbit?

quote:

Clarification: this coworker has a trauma surrounding this that I didn't know until after the fact. She had a rabbit when she was a kid and her grandfather killed it and made her eat it in a stew before telling her what it was. If I knew I would have been more careful because that's super messed up.

quote:

I (16F) bought a kitten from a neighbor. Their daughter (11F) was quite fond of that kitten. When it was time to give the kitten to me, daughter asked to come everyday to see kitten. I was like sure nothing wrong with that. Till she'd come almost everyday and would cuddle my kitten while saying "I missed you my baby". How do I POLITELY tell her to gently caress off that's MY baby now?

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Barudak posted:

This exact story is surprisingly common, I think its happened to goons in this very thread. Hell my family had extended members who tried to pull this on younger ones.

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Wait, Muslims aren't allowed to drink coffee? Why not? Not trying to be mean about it, just the first time I've heard about that restriction, I think.

An ex of mine has a grandmother who did this exact thing to her, except it was a pet chicken. She's *very confused* as to why her daughters don't want her coming around to see her grandkids.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Wait, Muslims aren't allowed to drink coffee? Why not? Not trying to be mean about it, just the first time I've heard about that restriction, I think.

An ex of mine has a grandmother who did this exact thing to her, except it was a pet chicken. She's *very confused* as to why her daughters don't want her coming around to see her grandkids.