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a place i worked at was once host to active shooter training for actual LEO agencies, state, local and federal complete with crisis actors and they all failed because they kept falling for super-basic tricks like asking a passer-by where the shooter went and running wherever they pointed immediately so they could get shot in the back because the dude was pointing a gun at the passer-by and forcing them to lie from a hiding place. they were really good at using all the cool military lingo and squat-running like they were in COD though. BIG FLUFFY DOG fucked around with this message at 20:08 on Nov 22, 2021 |
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Nov 22, 2021 20:04
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I had to take an active shooter training not too long before covid lockdown and my favorite part was "do not run directly at the police if they show up to help you" because of course we live in a hell world where a cop will shoot anyone who moves towards them at all for any reason.
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Nov 22, 2021 20:09
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We had an active shooter alarm in the building that I work (former police station) at but we never got any official training on what the lights signified or what to do if they started flashing. One day, someone set it off on accident and no one had any idea what the lights did and the police casually walked into the building to see if everything was OK. I feel like this may have been a problem had it been a real active shooter situation.
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Nov 22, 2021 20:13
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:a place i worked at was once host to active shooter training for actual LEO agencies, state, local and federal complete with crisis actors and they all failed because they kept falling for super-basic tricks like asking a passer-by where the shooter went and running wherever they pointed immediately so they could get shot in the back because the dude was pointing a gun at the passer-by and forcing them to lie from a hiding place. They should have done the Rainbow Six: Siege walk instead: https://www.reddit.com/r/PewdiepieSubmissions/comments/d3rpe6/rainbow_six_siege_players_be_like/
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Nov 22, 2021 21:06
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no go on Quiznos posted:RUN HIDE FIGHT! bobjr posted:My job did tell me some people get too caught up in work to notice the emergency of an active shooter or fire, so they just keep working at their desk while everyone else leaves We got outside to the parking lot and were two of the first dozen or so people to pay attention to the alarm…and there were only a dozen or so more people who joined us outside. So 25-ish total people bothered to evacuate during an actual fire with visible smoke out of a floor with 100-ish people on it. So yeah, I totally buy that some people would be too caught up in work to evacuate.
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Nov 22, 2021 21:07
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Lazyfire posted:My first company after college was in a building that had some issue with the fire alarm system and so we had to vacate the building for 20-30 minutes every week or two. This eventually became unacceptable to management and there was an email that said you would stay at your desk unless it was a scheduled drill. Still can't get over how dangerous and stupid this is. What train of thought gets you here
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Nov 22, 2021 22:23
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"Where do you think you're going?!" "Outside, can't you hear the fire alarm?" "Nobody leaves their desk unless it's a scheduled drill!" "But the office is filling up with smoke and I can see flames coming out from a conference room." "Nobody leaves their desk unless it's a scheduled drill!"
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Nov 22, 2021 22:34
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Poil posted:"Where do you think you're going?!" *starting to stand up* is this a drill? *active gunman walks up the hallway* *sits back down*
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Nov 22, 2021 22:41
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TengenNewsEditor posted:Still can't get over how dangerous and stupid this is. What train of thought gets you here That company was so wildly unprofessional it was unbelievable. The rumor mill was extremely active and from what I understood it was the main office (we were the US branch of an Indian company) that insisted on the change because the drills were causing us to bill to overhead and they had strict requirements to bill every second possible to the customer (like a 98% applied rate), so the time waiting for the all clear was cutting into the company's bottom line. Poil posted:"Where do you think you're going?!" One of the guys in the meeting session I attended that explained the new policy was a volunteer firefighter who lived for being a volunteer firefighter and the only time I ever agreed with him was when he pointed out how incredibly dumb the policy was. Management said their hands were tied and that if anyone left they could possibly be terminated. They handed out ear plugs so we could work through the alarm, at least.
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Nov 22, 2021 22:50
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:a place i worked at was once host to active shooter training for actual LEO agencies, state, local and federal complete with crisis actors and they all failed because they kept falling for super-basic tricks like asking a passer-by where the shooter went and running wherever they pointed immediately so they could get shot in the back because the dude was pointing a gun at the passer-by and forcing them to lie from a hiding place. I've gotten to take part in active shooter drills more times than I care to think about. The LEO guys always get way too loving into it.
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Nov 22, 2021 22:56
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Cthulu Carl posted:Lol he was talking about making us a more desirable place to work. But only in regards to the remodeling that's happened at all our offices and NOT by paying workers more. My old work (a software company) remodelled one building, moved all the sales dudes into the nice building and moved all the (highly paid) IT dudes into a windowless room next to the garbage. This was between lockdowns, and highly paid IT dudes could easily get a remote contract working for even more money so... they did. Suddenly the company had millions of $ of orders, and zero people who could actually deliver. Last I heard the head of department had quit and most of the actual work was being outsourced.
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Nov 22, 2021 23:06
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TengenNewsEditor posted:*starting to stand up* is this a drill?
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Nov 22, 2021 23:18
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Everyone knows a fruitcake is the correct anti-active shooter baked good.
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Nov 22, 2021 23:38
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Lazyfire posted:One of the guys in the meeting session I attended that explained the new policy was a volunteer firefighter who lived for being a volunteer firefighter and the only time I ever agreed with him was when he pointed out how incredibly dumb the policy was. Management said their hands were tied and that if anyone left they could possibly be terminated. They handed out ear plugs so we could work through the alarm, at least. Plot point The Office wouldn't use because it's too stupid
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Nov 23, 2021 00:00
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While you were filling out timesheets, I was studying the bread
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Nov 23, 2021 00:11
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Outrail posted:Plot point The Office wouldn't use because it's too stupid That was the entire experience in that job. Like, imagine having four insurance companies in a year because the company kept finding cheaper companies.
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Nov 23, 2021 02:22
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cynic posted:My old work (a software company) remodelled one building, moved all the sales dudes into the nice building and moved all the (highly paid) IT dudes into a windowless room next to the garbage. This was between lockdowns, and highly paid IT dudes could easily get a remote contract working for even more money so... they did. Suddenly the company had millions of $ of orders, and zero people who could actually deliver. Last I heard the head of department had quit and most of the actual work was being outsourced. sounds like the company got exactly what they wanted
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Nov 23, 2021 02:46
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TengenNewsEditor posted:*starting to stand up* is this a drill? I misread this as "active German walks down the hallway"
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Nov 23, 2021 03:47
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Jack-Off Lantern posted:I misread this as "active German walks down the hallway" The Disk Handoff scene from Office Space but instead of Michael Bolton looking in disgust as the lady walks by saying "Hi, Michael Bolton!" in slow motion, it Klaus in a tanktop, sweatbands, and inappropriately tight shorts power walking through the cubes saying "Guten tag, Michael Bolton!" in slow motion.
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Nov 23, 2021 04:49
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Mormon Nailer posted:This is from a couple of pages back, but Barudak--you ever taken your team to the batting cages? They sell beer. I have not, good suggestion. It ended up being a moot point, however, because until Q1 of next year my companies guidelines have been updated that we're only allowed to meet in groups of maximum 4.
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Nov 23, 2021 11:16
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Enos Shenk posted:
When I first read this, I was expecting a really colorful cake.
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Nov 23, 2021 13:27
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Barudak posted:I have not, good suggestion. 4 people per batting cage.
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Nov 23, 2021 14:31
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Someone attempted to forward me an email instead of printing and then scanning it for once, but mistyped my email address. She realized this upon receiving the 'delivery failed' email. She corrected the error, allowing her to forward me... the 'delivery failed' email. Edit: they got the actual email with relevant attachments to me and the contents of the forwarded email were "please do not share this" Everett False fucked around with this message at 19:50 on Nov 23, 2021 |
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Nov 23, 2021 17:24
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We are in review period where we learned some new fascinating things 1) If you're up for an award, even if you have not yet been confirmed to have won it, you are not allowed to get the highest rating since you are "already being compensated elsewhere" 2) If you've been with the company for less than 1 year, you're not allowed to have any review except average. Bust your rear end turning things around? Enjoy the same score as the person who did literally nothing and also can't be put on a PIP because, well, their score is average 3) If you get high scores two years in a row, you can auto qualify for a promotion; hope you didn't do too much work in year two or three and got a cash reward smaller than that auto-promotion Heres my absolute favorite one though, for lower rank people you have a score from 1-5. Each team must average to 3. That means if you have three good people they will all have worse scores than a two person team with one diabolically bad person and one mediocre person. These scores are used to determine promotion path.
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Nov 25, 2021 13:43
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At a place I used to work, HR demanded that managers place employees in a Cartesian system with four quadrants, Performance on the Y axis and Potential on the X axis. This was based on scores from 1-10 on both axes. Here's the kicker: A) you could not give the same score on any axis to two or more employees and (hold on) B) there must be an equal number of people in each quadrant. If there was a number of people on the team not divisible by 4, the quadrants must be filled from the lowest score up. Only raises for those in the high-high quadrant, of course, which was the point of the whole exercise. And yes, everyone could see who was rated what.
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Nov 25, 2021 14:08
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Barudak posted:Heres my absolute favorite one though, for lower rank people you have a score from 1-5. Each team must average to 3. That means if you have three good people they will all have worse scores than a two person team with one diabolically bad person and one mediocre person. These scores are used to determine promotion path.
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Nov 25, 2021 14:21
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Grading to the curve is a crime.
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Nov 25, 2021 14:22
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Corporations going out of their way to show you that the best way to achieve promotion is to...leave the company and go work somewhere else doing the job they would've promoted you to, were it not for an absolutely asinine system of yearly reviews that punishes performance and encourages mediocrity.
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Nov 25, 2021 14:43
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A Festivus Miracle posted:Corporations going out of their way to show you that the best way to achieve promotion is to...leave the company and go work somewhere else doing the job they would've promoted you to, were it not for an absolutely asinine system of yearly reviews that punishes performance and encourages mediocrity. They offer stock bonuses to high performers at lower ranks as part of their program to try and convince these people to stay with the company. These stocks go from 0%->100% vested on the day of your three year anniversary of being awarded the stock, which remember, can't happen year one because you are mandatorily "average". Mysteriously, they've never been paid out.
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Nov 25, 2021 15:09
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Barudak posted:Heres my absolute favorite one though, for lower rank people you have a score from 1-5. Each team must average to 3. That means if you have three good people they will all have worse scores than a two person team with one diabolically bad person and one mediocre person. These scores are used to determine promotion path. From what I remember, Microsoft did this too, but also fired the lowest performing teammates. As a result, they fired brilliant people from brilliant teams and kept mediocre people in mediocre teams. They no longer do this.
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Nov 25, 2021 17:23
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Lol, my ex boss refused to give me any kind of official training in our incredibly niche software stating it wasn't ever in the budget, but had plenty of money to do poo poo like buy admission for people to e-conventions of the organization she was president of (the people attended from home and got paid to do so, there was no follow up or anything so I'm pretty sure they got paid to gently caress off for 8 hours x3 days) She then switched to denying me because I was dating a Canadian guy, saying I was just going to leave anyway so why bother? Welp guess she was right because I just lost any motivation for the job, last straw was her pretending covid wasn't a thing and wanting me in the office despite rising cases and a proven ability to work from home. I did move to Canada and am getting married next month, I hope it's cold comfort to her that she was right as she tries to figure out how to extend out spreadsheets that are critical that expire end of this year... that she was too busy to learn how to do and refused to read any documentation I made
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Nov 25, 2021 17:41
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I asked my (new?) boss for a raise, as the org chart he sent out had me listed as an assistant project manager despite that not being my title. Also of note that my (former?) VP boss was nowhere on the org chart. I've got word from former colleagues that my application at my old employer has been reviewed, they consider my resume very strong, and my old boss had asked I be put on the consideration list, but the position isn't opening for another couple months. I was laid off for pandemic reasons and they're just recently been rehiring people, so here's hoping I can get a raise at this place right before bailing and swing for a 6 figure salary at my old employer.
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Nov 25, 2021 19:22
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Pyrtanis posted:she was too busy to learn how to do and refused to read any documentation I made I regret to inform you that she is currently blaming you to anyone who will listen for the spreadsheet not working in whatever way she currently imagines it ought to. A Festivus Miracle posted:Corporations going out of their way to show you that the best way to achieve promotion is to...leave the company and go work somewhere else doing the job they would've promoted you to, were it not for an absolutely asinine system of yearly reviews that punishes performance and encourages mediocrity. This is exactly it. I am currently learning that even changing teams within my company is not a viable path to promotion, because they’re hiring a senior engineer and a non-senior; the higher position, which is the one that would be a promotion for me, is only open to external applications. Lateral moves always come with a pay raise of “at least 1%” (meaning absolutely never a penny over 1%). If I were to change jobs I would not get my usual 1.5-2% raise in the spring, and no one in HR could answer whether the annual bonus that is paid around the same time would be forfeit or not (so it definitely would not be paid, and they just don’t want to tell me beforehand). Fuuuuuuuuck this place, and gently caress having a career specialization that a million inexperienced-but-underpaid people have learned how to do in the past decade, which has driven the value of my actual experience way down.
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Nov 25, 2021 19:55
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Sonic Dude posted:Fuuuuuuuuck this place, and gently caress having a career specialization that a million inexperienced-but-underpaid people have learned how to do in the past decade, which has driven the value of my actual experience way down. ... Time to consider a career in something else?
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Nov 25, 2021 22:49
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Sonic Dude posted:Fuuuuuuuuck this place, and gently caress having a career specialization that a million inexperienced-but-underpaid people have learned how to do in the past decade, which has driven the value of my actual experience way down. Gonna guess....Pornography?
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Nov 25, 2021 23:43
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Sonic Dude posted:I regret to inform you that she is currently blaming you to anyone who will listen for the spreadsheet not working in whatever way she currently imagines it ought to. One is to make a 3 hr long manual payroll determination process take 10 minutes instead and the others tie into the program she dreamed up, that I created for her, that she's taken all of the credit for to the suits. She's already told anyone who will listen that she did it all herself, and in a few weeks will just... not work, or give bad data because the dates and references will no longer be correct 
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Nov 25, 2021 23:43
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Volmarias posted:... Time to consider a career in something else? Outrail posted:Gonna guess....Pornography? I guess my new career is decided. As a 40-year-old fat white dude, I think I’m entitled to all the unearned confidence in the world. Wish me luck.
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Nov 26, 2021 04:29
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Shaving your pubes is worth a half inch.
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Nov 26, 2021 04:41
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Bring Your Own Balldo and make that your thing.
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Nov 26, 2021 06:32
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Fill the Ron Jeremy hole.
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Nov 26, 2021 15:38
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