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Khizan
Jul 30, 2013


Make him 20 cm taller so he carries the weight better. That's how Teru does it, at least.

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Banana Canada
Sep 2, 2003
I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.



Teru has immense upper body strength through weight training - something I doubt Takakeisho focuses on. So scaling him up to a taller height without any strength gains would just put him at a disadvantage. Since he put all his character points in to pushing, his avatar build seems ideal already - heavy so he has the mass for momentum but also short so that he is has a lower centre of gravity than most making it hard to get him off balance in a shoving match.

Banana Canada
Sep 2, 2003
I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.



Generally happy with my performance this basho. Picked the winner and two runners-up again (though no points this time for the jun-yushos). A bit anti-climatic for me as I realised halfway through that even though I was holding steady in a close 2nd place, I knew I was not besting sivad who was just above me. We had all the same 1st picks and our stables matched exactly except for M6-10 where I got my 2nd choice of Lolbizaru instead of Ura and I knew that I was not going to win that one.

The biggest drawback for me though was thinking that the hairy takoyaki was due for a good performance after falling to M5. Watch me pick him again next basho and get burned by him for the third time in a row!

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



Terunofuji is such a champion. That last battle with Takakeisho was fantastic, and I loved it. Taka comported himself very well also, extremely quality ozeki-zumo.

Overall I feel like this tournament was a bit of settling into a post-Hakuho makuuchi. Several of the highest scores were from people (like Hokutofuji and Ura) who are fantastic competitors, but who are probably mostly joi-level, with occasional san'yaku showings. Seeing Takanosho do well was very satisfying, since I think he has some real potential. He's part of the real next crop, and the rest of them (Meisei, Wakatakakage, Hoshoryu, Tobizaru) all did great sumo, despite mostly middling records. They're still getting seasoned, and I'm looking forward to Hatsu for them. I really hope Kotonowaka gets healthy, it sucks to see him struggle like he did this basho. I also loved all of the leg-trip action this tournament.

Okay, enough bloviating. Let's get to fantasy.

Final results

Makuuchi
code:
72.5	sivad
65	Banana Canada
65	Eli949
64.5	Chinook
64	Thauros
63.5	Tiny Bug Child
62.5	anakha
62	MalarkeyToboggan
60	Netsky
59.5	Marching Powder
59	LlamaTrauma
58.5	jmzero
58	bessantj
58	Everyones Favorite Poster
57.5	Khizan
56.5	pseudodragon
54.5	Ice Phisherman
53	MyChemicalImbalance
52.5	Dias
52.5	GoatSeeGuy
52	captainblastum
52	Tochiazuma
50	Skjorte
49.5	scripterror
49.5	Vargatron
47.5	bartolimu
47.5	Pakled
47.5	whats for dinner
46	Charles Gnarwin
45.5	Crusty Nutsack
44	Beeswax
43.5	Fluffdaddy
43.5	Kenning
42.5	Bellwether
42.5	QuasiQuack
41.5	ilmucche
41.5	Robviously
40	Helianthus Annuus
39.5	Lid
31.5	Maigius
30	Brut
Juryo
code:
68.5	Takuan
64.5	Communist Thoughts
57.5	Neodoomium
57.5	ratmosphere
54.5	Martytoof
54	Iron Chef Nex
54	Jobbo_Fett
51.5	Teddybear
50.5	Firebatgyro
50	Liquid Communism
49.5	rare Magic card l00k
47.5	Memento
47	Shiroc
46	Log082
46	Spokes
46	ullerrm
43.5	Gaghskull
43	KungFu Grip
43	Lexorin
43	NuclearPotato
42	Omnikin
Congratulations to sivad with a commanding victory. Any victory above 70 points is extremely respectable, and has only happened a handful of times. Getting both Ura and Abi really sealed the deal. Special congratulations also to jun-yusho co-winners Eli949 and Banana Canada, who similarly put together a great showing. Special shoutout to Brut, who had a brutal outing with only Shodai garnering a kachi-koshi. Been there.

Down in juryo Takuan took it, again with that Abi/Ura combo, with a wonderful result that will see them back in makuuchi along with juryo jun-yusho winner Communist Thoughts. Shout out here to Memento who made my same mistake of trading Kiribayama for Meisei, thus ensuring that we got an extra make-koshi on our slates. Such are the vagaries of trading.

On to special prizes! A refresher, these are the special prizes:

Gino-sho/Technique: No make-koshi on your team.
Kanto-sho/Fighting Spirit: Exceptional performance from a low rank, or other acknowledgement of great performance.
Shukun-sho/Outstanding Performance: Getting the highest number of accolades (i.e. kinboshi, yusho/jun-yusho, and sansho) in the field.

So, who are the awardees?

Gino-sho: Thauros
Kanto-sho: Eli949, sivad
Shukun-sho: sivad, Takuan

Congrats to all the players! Goonzuke is forthcoming. I know it took forever last time, but this time I'm gonna try and get it out sooner.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
the depression of not having anything to do at this time of day after 15 days of sumo is made easier by your awesome work man.

i'm pleased with my showing despite not having teru in my squad.

i hope takakeisho stays uninjured. he's such a watchable fighter when he's on. teru failing to get the clamps on his t-rex arms was lulzy but his backup plan of waiting for takakeisho to gas himself out was some high level sumo.

bessantj
Jul 27, 2004


Ugh, in the end I had quite a bad tournament. Very much spinning of wheels.

I think Terunofuji has figured out Takakeisho. Even when Takakeisho was able to get some headway and push Terunofuji back, Terunofuji was able to right his ship and nullify Takakeisho's attack.

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



I decided that instead of installing and playing all of the Stellaris DLC I got during Black Friday I would drink ouzo and work on the goonzuke and well here we are.

code:
		    Hatsu 2022	
			
		   SA Goonzuke	
		
		     Ozeki	
GoatSeeGuy		1	Banana Canada
Tiny Bug Child		2
		
		    Sekiwake	
captainblastum	   	1	Skjorte
bessantj	   	2	
		
		     Komusubi	
MalarkeyToboggan	1	Thauros
sivad			2	pseuodragon
		
		    Maegashira	
EveryonesFavoritePoster	1	bartolimu
Tochiazuma		2	anakha
scripterror		3	Eli949
Chinook			4	whats for dinner
jmzero			5	LlamaTrauma
Khizan			6	Marching Powder
Vargatron		7	Dias
Pakled			8	Netsky
Fluffdaddy		9	Crusty Nutsack
Charles Gnarwin		10	Kenning
Ice Phisherman		11	MyChemicalImbalance
Takuan			12	Communist Thoughts
Martytoof		13	Beeswax
QuasiQuack		14	Robviously
Brut			15	Lid


		      Juryo	
			
Teddybear		1	Neodoomium
Liquid Communism	2	Iron Chef Nex
Jobbo_Fett		3	ratmosphere
Shiroc			4	Firebatgyro
ilmucche		5	Bellwether
Helianthus Annuus	6	rare Magic card l00k
Log082			7	Spokes
NuclearPotato		8	Gaghskull
Memento			9	ullerm
Lexorin			10	Maigius
KungfuGrip		11	Omnikin
Cage Kicker		12	Diplomat
Sub Rosa		13	Scythe
Diplomat		14	Halloween Jack
TwoWordName		15	Biosys
Foehammer007		16	Glugglugs
Last goonzuke I said the following:

Kenning posted:

The main thing to watch for this time: Skortje and captainblastum are both on very strong goonzeki runs. If they get any sort of winning record beyond just barely scraping by they get the nod. Banana Canada could also leapfrog if they got a spectacular record this time out, although more likely they just need to record two solid tournaments in the san'yaku.

Well, Skortje and captainblastum just scraped by*, and Banana Canada had a spectacular record. Thus we have our first promotee to goonzeki since Kyushu 2020! Congratulations Banana Canada! Unexpectedly, however, a second goonzeki promotee has arisen: Tiny Bug Child. They've been in the san'yaku since Hatsu of this year, and have posted consistent winning records, with this last basho being very impressive. We now have 3 goonzeki, since GoatSeeGuy has defended their rank yet again, although this basho was the closest yet. All hail the masters of the goonhyo: GoatSeeGuy, Banana Canada, and Tiny Bug Child.

Important to note that Banana Canada, captainblastum, and sivad are now reigning yokogoona. I recommend that Brut or Mekchu give them the appropriate tag, if they so wish.

Looking to next basho, Skortje and captainblastum are still poised for a goonzeki debut, although it would need to be more than a middling showing. In that capacity they are joined by bessantj, who showed well from komusubi, and who could take it with another solid-to-excellent outing. MalarkeyToboggan and sivad could make a case, but it would basically require a yusho or jun-yusho.

Welcome up to makugoonchi to Takuan, Communist Thoughts, and Martytoof, on the strength of very solid performances down in the lower division. We look forward to seeing your performance in the top division.

Thanks for playing Fantasy Sumo everybody, it's always a huge amount of fun.

*I've done some analysis of previous bashos, and determined a rough line of 50 points as a kachi-koshi. The general average and median has been around 47 or 48, but I think 48-50 provides a good overall level for determining mk vs. kk: if scores are skewing higher the KK cutoff will be around 50, while if overall things are depressed it can be around 47. This preserves the idea that defending a yokogoona title requires a 50 or better, which I think feels pretty good.

Kenning fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Nov 29, 2021

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
congratulations to lid and brut who did exactly bad enough to stay in makuuchi.

can't wait to poo poo the bed next tournament to get back to m14 where i belong

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
My plan has come to fruition

It is time

For the grand design

JANUARY 2022 TOKUSHORYU RUN

Chinook
Apr 11, 2006

SHODAI

Thanks a lot, Kenning. You’re really settling into your own style of sumo fantasy.

whats for dinner
Sep 25, 2006

IT TURN OUT METAL FOR DINNER!

Really failed to impose my style of fantasy sumo, this time. Thanks again, Kenning, for running this! Big congrats to sivad for such a dominant performance.

Beeswax
Dec 29, 2005

Grimey Drawer
Despite going mk in the end, I feel like I'm on the road back to my old fantasy sumo. I'm languishing at m13 for now but I'm sensing a real good basho coming. Fingers crossed!

And as always, thanks for all the work you do Kenning :)

some kinda jackal
Feb 25, 2003

 
 
I look forward to being a Terunofuji from M13.

Next stop: Yokogoona. Ganbarimasu!

Kenning, as always, thanks for running this! Your secret sauce makes this a tasty treat every two months. If I could gift you a giant macaroon it would be in your maw right now.

Firebatgyro
Dec 3, 2010
3 of my picks going 7-8 was pretty brutal, especially both the 7-7s losing the last day.

Omnikin
May 29, 2007

Press 'E' for Medic
First attempt, last place, no way to go except up or in the exact same place

Communist Thoughts
Jan 7, 2008

Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!


As always the most important thing is Chiyomaru got his KK

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry
How the heck did I drop even lower?! The Goon Sumo Association has it out for me!

Dias
Feb 20, 2011

by sebmojo
True to Brazilian sumo, I barely do enough to get a KK and hold on to my mid-low maegashira rank.

bessantj
Jul 27, 2004


Thanks for running this Kenning, your work is always appreciated.

I got a nice little bump up to Sekiwake. Jan basho going to be fun.

anakha
Sep 16, 2009


Meat grinder next basho, I see. Guess I gotta get my Wakatakakage on.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!
Holy poo poo I stayed in fantasy Makuuchi? Wild. Gotta make sure I do my style of sumo in January.

Jobbo_Fett posted:

How the heck did I drop even lower?! The Goon Sumo Association has it out for me!

Kenning posted:

Juryo
code:
54	Jobbo_Fett

Huh, you're tied for 6th out of the Juryo scores, the banzuke committee might need to convene an emergency meeting.

Kenning posted:

Important to note that Banana Canada, captainblastum, and sivad are now reigning yokogoona. I recommend that Brut or Mekchu give them the appropriate tag, if they so wish.

Not sure if this came up before but Mekchu stepped away from IKing a little while ago so please bother me for tags if I forget. I'll queue these up later today.

Brut fucked around with this message at 17:43 on Nov 29, 2021

captainblastum
Dec 1, 2004

The GSA's gonna send my coach a letter if I don't get my poo poo together for the next tournament! My man Wakatakakage saved me this time with 6 straight wins to close out the tournament.

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



Jobbo_Fett posted:

How the heck did I drop even lower?! The Goon Sumo Association has it out for me!

I wanted to say you're the Tochinoshin of Fantasy, but actually there was a mistake in the spreadsheet juggling. A number of people have shifted down a half-rank in juryo to accommodate it. The gyoji responsible has tendered his resignation, which was accepted.

Brut posted:

Not sure if this came up before but Mekchu stepped away from IKing a little while ago so please bother me for tags if I forget. I'll queue these up later today.

Good to know, and thanks!

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

Kenning posted:

I wanted to say you're the Tochinoshin of Fantasy, but actually there was a mistake in the spreadsheet juggling.

I accept this most prestigious title

GoatSeeGuy
Dec 26, 2003

What if Jerome Walton made me a champion?


Kenning posted:

GoatSeeGuy has defended their rank yet again, although this basho was the closest yet.

GoatSeeGuy posted:

I am become Shodai, the destroyer of worlds.

All good as long as the Ozeki checks clear.

bartolimu
Nov 25, 2002


The grumpy young man in charge of the goonzeki has been very kind in light of my shamefully poor Sekiwake showing. I will endeavor to rise like a phoenix from the ashes of my sekitorihood and regain a coveted K or S rank with a stronger performance in January.

I watched a fair bit of Juryo this basho as well, and I was sad Midorifuji couldn't quite pull off his KK. It wasn't a great basho for tiny guys in general - Ishiura and Midori both posted losing scores and Enho barely scraped by with 8-7. Hopefully things will improve for them next year.

Neodoomium
Jun 20, 2001

You are now hearing this
noise in your head.



Dang it! J1W!

NuclearPotato
Oct 27, 2011

How on earth did I not rank down after getting 2nd lowest points total in Juryo? :psyduck: The power of still handily cleaning the clock out of some of the lower ranked Makkuchi goons points-wise, I guess. I probably should've traded Shimanoumi around the time I complained about him in here, but he started that 5 win hot streak not long after, so you can forgive me for having renewed faith in his ability to KK, even if he didn't pull it out in the end. Ichinojo, on the other hand, I should've traded straight away; I had zero faith in him even when I put him at the top of my S/K list (which should tell you how I feel about our current crop at these ranks in general).

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003

i’m either mitakeumi, tamawashi, or hokutofuji depending on how generous you want to be

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



NuclearPotato posted:

How on earth did I not rank down after getting 2nd lowest points total in Juryo? :psyduck: The power of still handily cleaning the clock out of some of the lower ranked Makkuchi goons points-wise, I guess. I probably should've traded Shimanoumi around the time I complained about him in here, but he started that 5 win hot streak not long after, so you can forgive me for having renewed faith in his ability to KK, even if he didn't pull it out in the end. Ichinojo, on the other hand, I should've traded straight away; I had zero faith in him even when I put him at the top of my S/K list (which should tell you how I feel about our current crop at these ranks in general).

Juryo is funny because the bottom gets pushed up by no-shows and people who got make-koshi in their first tournament. It leads to relatively generous promotions and moderate demotions. It's like how that one time Shonanzakura got a promotion after posting an 0-7 score.

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
Has anyone ever had the official Sumo Association calendars? Do they have cool pictures with enough space in boxes to actually write things on the calendar?

Vargatron
Apr 19, 2008

MRAZZLE DAZZLE


What was the KK point total for this basho? I think I was M10E to start and now I'm up to M7E. Not that I'm complaining on anything or anything. Just was wondering what the score criteria is to determine movement on the Goonzuke.

Beeswax
Dec 29, 2005

Grimey Drawer

Vargatron posted:

What was the KK point total for this basho? I think I was M10E to start and now I'm up to M7E. Not that I'm complaining on anything or anything. Just was wondering what the score criteria is to determine movement on the Goonzuke.


Kenning posted:

*I've done some analysis of previous bashos, and determined a rough line of 50 points as a kachi-koshi. The general average and median has been around 47 or 48, but I think 48-50 provides a good overall level for determining mk vs. kk: if scores are skewing higher the KK cutoff will be around 50, while if overall things are depressed it can be around 47. This preserves the idea that defending a yokogoona title requires a 50 or better, which I think feels pretty good.

pseudodragon
Jun 16, 2007


Kotonowaka does just enough to not mess up my first promotion to Goonyaku! But like most first time komsubi, I’m probably going to get wrecked next basho.

One idea I just thought of for awards, but I don’t know if there’d be an easy way to calculate: KK with the least picked team to reward someone for going outside the box. Like if you can win while being the only person to ride with Shodai as your Ozeki, you deserve some award. Or if someone’s random or gimmick team pops off and cruelly does well.

sivad
Feb 28, 2005

Kenning posted:

Final results

Makuuchi
code:
72.5	sivad

I'm just glad I was able to do my brand of sumo, and get my rope back. (While shamelessly ride Abi all the way to the top...) Thanks as always for organizing, Kenning.

Shiroc posted:

Has anyone ever had the official Sumo Association calendars? Do they have cool pictures with enough space in boxes to actually write things on the calendar?



I've gotten them the last few years, and been really happy with them. This year, there's about 1.5 inches of space between the bottom of the date and the bottom of the box, with 4 lines to write on.

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late

sivad posted:

I've gotten them the last few years, and been really happy with them. This year, there's about 1.5 inches of space between the bottom of the date and the bottom of the box, with 4 lines to write on.

Rad, thanks for the picture.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010


Shiroc posted:

Rad, thanks for the picture.
They're fantastic, the one thing I ask my Japanese former host sister to send for Christmas. The last two calendars I've had have included two plastic folders each, with mini calendars in the corner (three months on each side) and full-body shots of various yokozuna and ozeki. Nice bonus!

Teddybear
May 16, 2009

Look! A teddybear doll!
It's soooo cute!


I’m king of the world! (of juryo)

That’s right, king of the world! (of juryo)

Everyones Favorite Poster
Dec 6, 2017

:toot:
excellent basho all around. sanyaku here i come!

huge thank you to kenning for doing this!!

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bessantj
Jul 27, 2004


Everyones Favorite Poster posted:

excellent basho all around. sanyaku here i come!

huge thank you to kenning for doing this!!

Hey 58 buddy :):hf::) looking forward to seeing you in the san'yagoon ranks!

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