Cthulu Carl posted:

"The bird has been fined 15000 seeds and suspended for two games."

Blastedhellscape posted:

If I were in this situation I'd maybe want to move downstairs anyway to give them their privacy/so I didn't have to hear my roommates loving. Unless the upstairs bedroom really is way better than the others, with a bigger/less dingy bathroom or something.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not punishing my parrot for cursing around my nephew and niece?


I think I'll be chuckling about this all day.

sullat posted:

You put the bird in bird jail for a little bit until he serves his time. Let him out early for good behavior.

Killingyouguy! posted:

SA threads regularly devolve into 'food'

Pookah posted:

As a person with 20+ years experience living with an African grey parrot, the only response you're going to get is 'gently caress you'.

Maybe "gently caress you WOOO HEHEHEHE" but that's only when they are feeling funny.

RoboRodent posted:

I'm glad you're in this thread already.

LOL at the idea of successfully telling a parrot not to say a fun word it learned.

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

So which one of these is he?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Unidentified_serial_killers

DorkusMalorkus posted:

quote:

I've just created a second account to tell everything that has happened without getting tracked by my friends.

I was a platonic guy who had fallen in love with a girl who showed no signs of sexual attraction to me. We graduated from the high school 1 year ago and today I finally told her my inner feelings about her after 5 loving years. It turned out that she is a lesbian.. It all makes sense right now. I thought there is a chance that she is lesbian or asexual but never took it seriously. I don't know what to do, please say something guys. I cried a lot and need your help. I'm always the unluckiest man on earth. I feel like my 4 years of high school wasted because she was the only girl that i truly love in 4 years of studying high school. She has never told me anything about her sexual preference before. I'm stunned.

I know that I cannot push her to be with me anymore or something and actually I'm thinking about ending my friendship with her and stopping the contact forever but she's very lonely and if I stop my contact she will be devastated but it's even more devastating to sit next to her, a lesbian woman that was my first crush, and talk like nothing has happened. I'm truly hosed.

Tl;dr i've fallen in love with a lesbian

Cythereal posted:

I(18M) fell in love with an lesbian(18F)

Oh, teenagers.

Cythereal posted:

I(18M) fell in love with an lesbian(18F)

Oh, teenagers.

Cythereal posted:

I(18M) fell in love with an lesbian(18F)

Oh, teenagers.

Cthulu Carl posted:

I imagine it would be like when I was a little kid and somehow learned the word "poo poo". I marched around the house saying "poo poo. poo poo. poo poo. poo poo." as cadence. My dad yelled at me and told me not to say poo poo any more but if I wanted to, I could say 'crap.'

Que like... 3-5 year old me marching around the house. "Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap."

Cythereal posted:

I(18M) fell in love with an lesbian(18F)

Oh, teenagers.

Cthulu Carl posted:

I imagine it would be like when I was a little kid and somehow learned the word "poo poo". I marched around the house saying "poo poo. poo poo. poo poo. poo poo." as cadence. My dad yelled at me and told me not to say poo poo any more but if I wanted to, I could say 'crap.'

Que like... 3-5 year old me marching around the house. "Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap."

Serephina posted:

*deep breath*
Aaaaaahahahahaaha, what a poser.

Who does he think he's impressing with that horseshit, does he think (or does he think that others think) that chefs slave for hours prepping with a sou vide? They chuck it in a sealer, chuck it in the water and walk away doing other stuff. It's like saying you slaved for hours over an oven-cooked pizza, trying to act like cooking time is effort.

Pretentious ignorant incompetent rear end in a top hat.

edti: that account is Nine years old, and he's been consistent about this in prior posts. This is it people, it is an actual walking caricature!

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

Putting the people who are loving on the top floor will NOT make their loving less noticeable, it will just broadcast it to the rest of the house through floor and wall noises.

Cythereal posted:

I(18M) fell in love with an lesbian(18F)

I feel like my 4 years of high school wasted because she was the only girl that i truly love in 4 years of studying high school.

I know that I cannot push her to be with me anymore or something and actually I'm thinking about ending my friendship with her and stopping the contact forever

bell jar posted:

I'm not saying that I eat my steaks well done *because* of guys like this, but it is a significant factor (they are also delicious)

quote:

AITA For unpacking my girlfriend’s towel.

I (31M) and my gf (25F) have been dating for about 2 years.

My GF has beautiful hair that seems a lot more low maintenance than most women I know. She doesn’t use all a hundred different hair products, nor does she blow dry it. It honestly doesn’t take her long to style her hair or anything. However, she always insist on using this special towel to dry her hair.

She insists that she can’t use any regular towel for her hair. She gets mad if I use her hair towel as a regular towel too. She says that the towel should only be used for hair. She even bought an extra one of these towels that she keeps in her drawer at my place. She also takes the towel with her when she goes on vacation.

I usually don’t mind it, since the towel doesn’t take up much space, and it better than listening to a hair dryer all the time. But it’s a bit weird because I don’t know anyone else who has a towel just for their hair.

For Thanksgiving, we travelled to see my family. Before the trip, I asked my GF to leave her towel at home since we’ll be staying at my parents’ house. I didn’t want my family to think she was weird or make fun of her.

Since we planned to leave early in the morning, GF spent the night at my place. I noticed that she packed the towel she kept at my place in her suitcase. When she was asleep, I took the towel out. She didn’t notice the towel was gone until after we got to my parent’s house.

I thought it was okay, and my GF didn’t seem mad at all during the whole trip. However, when we got back at my place, my GF got into her car and drove off without saying goodbye. She texted me later saying she’s mad at me because of that stupid towel and she needs some space. I keep calling and texting her, but she won’t respond.

My friends think she’s being overly dramatic, but my GF isn’t that type of person. Now I’m wondering if I messed up. AITA

MarcusSA posted:

It’s a fuckin towel man.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA For unpacking my GF’s towel

No, I don't believe you actually need this thing, even though you have explained why you need it, so I will dispose of it to keep you from embarrassing me in front of my bathroom-inspecting parents.

Step off my microfiber, rear end in a top hat.

quote:

I wish that she told me that she was upset about the towel instead of what she’s doing now. I’ve tried many times to apologize, but she keeps giving me the silent treatment.

quote:

There’s only two bathrooms at my parents’ place. One is my parents’, and the other is the one meant for guests. Anyone who uses that bathroom would see my girlfriend’s towel hanging up (it looks nothing like the towels my mom buys).

My family loves making jokes about people and they can be a bit mean at times. I didn’t want them to start making fun about how “sensitive” my girlfriend is for needing to bring her own towel.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Step off my microfiber, rear end in a top hat.