r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »

threelemmings: Dec 4, 2007; A jellyfish!

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

Wow I never knew me and birds had so much in common

Irritable Bird Syndrome

# ? Nov 30, 2021 22:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 22:26

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Dr. Video Games 0135 posted:

For sure, just thought it was a good example of how older generations view relationships/marriage as some grim, joyless death march and pass those attitudes onto their kids.

I worked with three guys once that basically had a running "who hates their wife the most" competition and it was so pathetic. The worst guy went to the pub every single night directly from work and then went home at 11, when his wife would pretend to sleep. He also had "girlfriends" in Cuba and Russia that he sent money to regularly. There was a new guy in the team who was engaged and they just constantly filled his head with all kinds of poo poo husbands deserve from their wives and the whole thing was so depressing that I left after about two months.

Of course, this was in Ireland in 2006 so divorce had only been legal for a little more than 10 years at that point, which explains a little.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 22:58

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

RoboRodent posted:

Yeah, this.

I just have cockatiels, but they make constant small poops. It's just how bird digestion is. That said, I can ask them to poop on command, but most of the time they just lean off whatever they're sitting on and let loose.

Fortunately, healthy parrot poop is relatively inoffensive and doesn't have any sort of strong smell. Mammal poop is kind of nasty because mammals tend to rely on bacterial fermentation for digestion, and birds generally don't. I just wipe it up with a Kleenex.

They yell at the Kleenex, for some reason.

None of this holds true for morning poops, because they've been holding it in all night and now they're awake but gotta take a big dump first, and those are the absolute worst.

Where else but SA can you get info on how birds poo poo? Nowhere!

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:03

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Baronjutter posted:

A lot of boomers have huge chips on their shoulders that current generations aren't really feeling forced in this idea of getting married and having kids because it's what you're supposed to do. They raised 3 kids they barely tolerated and stayed with their horrible nag wife so the kids would have 2 parents and now people just... aren't!?

It's jealousy.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:07

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

greazeball posted:

I worked with three guys once that basically had a running "who hates their wife the most" competition and it was so pathetic. The worst guy went to the pub every single night directly from work and then went home at 11, when his wife would pretend to sleep. He also had "girlfriends" in Cuba and Russia that he sent money to regularly. There was a new guy in the team who was engaged and they just constantly filled his head with all kinds of poo poo husbands deserve from their wives and the whole thing was so depressing that I left after about two months.

Of course, this was in Ireland in 2006 so divorce had only been legal for a little more than 10 years at that point, which explains a little.

This is really analogous to the one where the woman listened to all her idiot friends and did what they told her to do, and her husband ended up saying GDIAF and divorced her.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:07

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

This is really analogous to the one where the woman listened to all her idiot friends and did what they told her to do, and her husband ended up saying GDIAF and divorced her.

Even better she found out that none of them did similar things with their husbands, as they were using her as their "test case" but never told her.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:15

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

RoboRodent posted:

Yeah, this.

I just have cockatiels, but they make constant small poops. It's just how bird digestion is. That said, I can ask them to poop on command, but most of the time they just lean off whatever they're sitting on and let loose.

Fortunately, healthy parrot poop is relatively inoffensive and doesn't have any sort of strong smell. Mammal poop is kind of nasty because mammals tend to rely on bacterial fermentation for digestion, and birds generally don't. I just wipe it up with a Kleenex.

They yell at the Kleenex, for some reason.

None of this holds true for morning poops, because they've been holding it in all night and now they're awake but gotta take a big dump first, and those are the absolute worst.

Also if your birds like you enough they'll try their darndest to not actually poo poo on you. Near you, yes, but not directly on you.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:17

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

My grandmother owned several sun conures and walked around in a housecoat covered in birdshit.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:19

RoboRodent: Sep 19, 2012

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Where else but SA can you get info on how birds poo poo? Nowhere!

I am a veritable fount of useless information!

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:22

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Wow, I cannot believe my mom stooped so low...

quote:

My mom called my doctor and said to him "What's the most accurate measurement for weighing?"
The doctor said "An underwater weighing test"
And just like that, my mom said "Yes. When can my son and my daughter can take it?" and the doc said "Today at 2pm."

So, I didn't bother taking a shower and so did my sister too, so I had to get into a special swimming suit(tight pants...Ugh).

My sister said "Can I pull my hair down to a ponytail?" The doctor said "No."
So my sister with her long, blonde hair went underwater with 8 seconds and had she must enjoyed it..but I didn't.

quote:

My sister had to wear pants and a bra, so she enjoyed minutes of going underwater.

I didn't take a shower and she didn't too.

Before she got into the tank, you see girls 'pretend' to pull their hair into ponytails, but they don't. That's what she did.

quote:

The reason for this topic to not get too confusing is that don't you guys like to see teenage girls in a tank with their hair and their body soaked and wet?

That's the reason for this topic.

quote:

You want a detailed summary of what happened today? Alright, here goes:

My mom wanted to do something instead of weighing myself on a scale. She heard about a underwater weighing test from my doctor last year and she wanted to give it a try to both, myself and my sister.

She called the doctor and wanted to schedule an appointment for my sister and I and today was the only day they could get us in. So my mom told both of us you don't need to take a shower if you don't want to(since I got up at 12pm and she got up at 12:30p.m.)

It goes on from there with the underwater weighing at the doctor's office.

quote:

My sister constantly talks about her hair. "Should I wash it?" "Should I pull my hair up or leave it down?" Stuff like that.

It wasn't my idea to take this underwater weighing thing. The doctor puts you in a tank (and I didn't have a shower), makes you do certain things of breathing, and you put your head underwater for a few seconds. Not hard at all.

quote:

To answer you question, before my sister and I got into the tank, the doctor did a basic weight test then I got into the tank and did some breathing excerises to see how my lungs would be situated underwater. Then the doctor took the temperature of the water inside the tank. After I taken my underwater tests, I had to stick my head underwater for 8 seconds and it was done. 30 minutes its all it take.

quote:

About the topic title:

I have a life on an off day from school. I didn't expect to go to my doctor's office and take an underwater weighing test. That said with my sister. I wasn't mad at my mom for doing this, but if she would've let me know about it days in advance, then it would be okay.

quote:

About the hair:

Everytime I go swimming at the YMCA, I see girls having their hair down and it doesn't disrupt them when they are swimming because it would get in the way, wouldn't it?

quote:

I DIDN'T ENJOY IT BECAUSE IT WAS MY DAY OFF FROM SCHOOL?! MY SISTER ENJOYED IT BECAUSE SHE HAD LITTLE ON GOING ON, WHILE I DID!

quote:

About the reason for the underwater test:

My mom wanted to do something instead of weighing myself on a scale. She heard about a underwater weighing test from my doctor last year and she wanted to give it a try to both, myself and my sister.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:31

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

idgi

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:35

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

what in the world is going on there

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:38

Technocrat: Jan 30, 2011; I always finish what I sta

It's a classic

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:42

LanceHunter: Nov 12, 2016; Beautiful People Club

Hellblazer187 posted:

what in the world is going on there

Somewhere (I think in the last incarnation of this thread) somebody tried to do a parsing from the perspective of someone who seemed to be similarly neurodivergent, and made something that at least made some sense out of it.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:42

Alchenar: Apr 9, 2008

This is a very confused person describing a baptism.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:49

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

the reason for the topic is seduction

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:51

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Alchenar posted:

This is a very confused person describing a baptism.

No it's a body fat test or something. They put you in a tube and see how much water you displaced.

LanceHunter posted:

Somewhere (I think in the last incarnation of this thread) somebody tried to do a parsing from the perspective of someone who seemed to be similarly neurodivergent, and made something that at least made some sense out of it.

They didn't have to do anything that day, so he skipped taking a shower. Then, his mom arranged for this underwater test, so he lost his whole day and ended up getting wet anyway, which he did not enjoy.

His sister did enjoy the test, but wanted to grab her hair behind her head so it didn't get in her face, but she was told not to do this.

At least if iirc.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 23:57

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Beachcomber posted:

No it's a body fat test or something. They put you in a tube and see how much water you displaced.

They didn't have to do anything that day, so he skipped taking a shower. Then, his mom arranged for this underwater test, so he lost his whole day and ended up getting wet anyway, which he did not enjoy.

His sister did enjoy the test, but wanted to grab her hair behind her head so it didn't get in her face, but she was told not to do this.

At least if iirc.

There's two missing pieces of information though. 1. Why was this a new low or too low for the mother to do? and 2. why did he think people would be interested in some oblique description of his (presumably) teenage sister pulling her hair back and holding her breath?

# ? Dec 1, 2021 00:01

captainOrbital: Jan 23, 2003; Wrathchild!
💢🧒

I just enjoyed minutes of reading this classic post when I got an email from Spotify, saying, "Do you want Car Thing? We're releasing Car Thing in a limited supply" and I was like did this guy write Spotify's emails because deja vu

# ? Dec 1, 2021 00:03

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

LanceHunter posted:

Somewhere (I think in the last incarnation of this thread) somebody tried to do a parsing from the perspective of someone who seemed to be similarly neurodivergent, and made something that at least made some sense out of it.

Wasn't expecting to be bodied that hard tonight tbh but here you go

Splicer posted:

He had a day off from school and is mad he spent it at the doctor's office. He doesn't like showering, but he got up late and was told he could skip showering. He then had to get in water anyway and is mad at the (perceived) bait and switch.

He doesn't like tight clothes, but has heard of or seen his sister or other girls/women deliberately wearing tight or revealing clothing for inexplicable reasons. If she'd held her hair up like in a shower he might have conceded that the showerlike situation might have outweighed her joy at wearing tight clothing, but since her hair was down she obviously must have been enjoying it.

So not only did he have to spend his day off at the doctors in tight clothes in water after being deceived into thinking he wouldn't have to get wet today, but his sister got to spend a whole 8 minutes in tight clothes and she didn't even have to hold her hair up.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 00:07

feller: Jul 5, 2006

Splicer posted:

Wasn't expecting to be bodied that hard tonight tbh but here you go

lmao

# ? Dec 1, 2021 00:14

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Bird poop training: my Amazon knows that people don't like to be pooped on and generally tries to avoid it--when she is flighted she'll just fly away to one of her perches to poo, if she's not she'll get increasingly insistent on being picked up and moved off of the person until she just gives up and poops anyway.

Unless she's not flighted and she's really annoyed at sitting on someone, then she'll just poop on them, presumably out of spite.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 01:24

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Splicer posted:

Wasn't expecting to be bodied that hard tonight tbh but here you go

Hahaha condolences

# ? Dec 1, 2021 01:56

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Brawnfire posted:

The child just needs the distraction of some sensory activities. Might I suggest scattering grains for them to count and gather?

This is why the Count von Count counts things.

Hellblazer187 posted:

You know what? Why not. Just ordered a $50 unit on Amazon with good ratings.

Hope you enjoy it.

vonnegutt posted:

Amelia Bedelia! Her whole deal was that she was extremely literal but also made extremely good cake so they forgave her for doing all that poo poo.

Did you ever read that article about how some guy vandalized her Wikipedia page to say she was based on the author's Cameroonian maid, and it got cited by lazy journalists so often even the author's son who started to write the books after they died cited this despite it having no basis in reality? Like the fictitious episode summaries for "Street Sharks," it was very entertaining.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 02:04

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Hellblazer187 posted:

You know what? Why not. Just ordered a $50 unit on Amazon with good ratings.

I do recommend that after cooking it in the sous-vide you just give it a kiss with a very hot grill. Otherwise it looks wrong on the plate and feels wrong in the mouth.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 02:20

Bodnoirbabe: Apr 30, 2007

Tarkus posted:

There's two missing pieces of information though. 1. Why was this a new low or too low for the mother to do? and 2. why did he think people would be interested in some oblique description of his (presumably) teenage sister pulling her hair back and holding her breath?

Actually, the sister asked if she could use a hair-tie to hold her hair back. She was told no, so instead she grabbed her hair into a ponytail held in her fist. I think the OP thought that it was the holding of the hair that she wasn't supposed to do, when actually it was probably just the use of a hair-tie. Essentially, he felt she "cheated" the test in that way.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 03:26

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

At least the shower think makes sense now, Op just assumes that it�s a given you�d know he doesn�t like to shower I think? It�s very interesting which things he states and which things he assumes are very obvious and don�t need to be stated

# ? Dec 1, 2021 03:29

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

The Lone Badger posted:

I do recommend that after cooking it in the sous-vide you just give it a kiss with a very hot grill. Otherwise it looks wrong on the plate and feels wrong in the mouth.

Yeah, I saw a few videos, it looks like gray trash immediately afterwards but then looks good after searing.

Invisible Clergy posted:

Hope you enjoy it.

Thank you!

# ? Dec 1, 2021 03:36

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

At least the shower think makes sense now, Op just assumes that it�s a given you�d know he doesn�t like to shower I think? It�s very interesting which things he states and which things he assumes are very obvious and don�t need to be stated

Yeah, s'why people get pretty heavy vibes of being on the spectrum and poorly socialised, which obviously for some goons is familiar enough it can be decoded.

(Which of course, from their perspective, means it's everyone else that constantly overexplains the obvious and refuses to explain important things and assumes they're universally known already)

# ? Dec 1, 2021 03:37

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

My(27m) ex fiancee (24f) has come out as a lesbian and I want her back

quote:

Tl;Dr my ex fiancee says she's gay now and I want her back.

My fiancee and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. We were together 2.5 years , engaged for 5 months and we're living together.About 6 months ago she came out to me as Bi.

Last week we caught up, I had hoped to get back together but she's saying she thinks she might be gay, as she feels nothing kissing other guys but does with girls. She said "it's either you or girls" I pushed the "you" part in hopes of getting back together but she put up a wall after that.

I think she's confused and I want her back but thinking it's all but impossible now. Just to clarify Im not homophobic at all but obviously in this situation I want her to be into guys.

Has anyone been in this situation before.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 03:56

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

AITA for letting my step-daughter take the bigger room?

quote:

I(32M) have a daughter "Emily"(12F) with my ex(29F). Ex is not in my daughter's life and gave full custody to me when she was born. I recently got married to "Samantha" (36F) who has a daughter" Emma" (13F). Emma and Emily do not get along with one another. They are constantly arguing and getting into fights. Samantha thinks they are going through a phase and will work things out. Emma and Emily are very similar and have similar interests. Emily did try and hang with Emma and her friends, but it ended with them arguing and having to be picked up early.

We recently had to do renovations on the entire house. The entire house is now bigger with three bedrooms instead of two. We let the girls choose what room they wanted and Emma chose the bigger room. Emily started complaining about why Emma always got what she wanted and I did assure her it was not the case. Samantha got involved and spoke to both of the girls.

Emily told her grandmother that she feels like we are giving Emma everything she wants and that we are favoring Emma. Her grandparents called me and started yelling that I was not being a good father to Emily and needed to prove to Emily that I loved her as much as Emma.

Edit: Emma and Emily both got to choose which room they wanted. Emma told us that she wanted the bigger one. Emily felt like we let Emma pick the room without discussing with her.

AITA for letting my step-daughter take the bigger room?

quote:

We let the girls decide on which room they wanted. Emma chose the big one before Emily could pick.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 04:06

Involuntary Sparkle: Aug 12, 2004; Chemo-kitties can have �accidents� too!

Hellblazer187 posted:

Yeah, I saw a few videos, it looks like gray trash immediately afterwards but then looks good after searing.

Thank you!

If it doesn't work for you, I actually highly recommend a reverse sear method (long cook time in very low oven, quick sear on stove or grill) vs sous vide and it doesn't require extra equipment. It really shines with the prime beef tenderloin I make for Christmas each year but is the best way to make a steak IMO.

(I'm mostly vegetarian now due to a crappy digestive system and steak is definitely not a religion for me)

# ? Dec 1, 2021 04:10

Blastedhellscape: Jan 1, 2008

Soylent Pudding posted:

WIBTA For Asking My (29F) BF(28M) to Move Out?

quote:

The apartment smells bad. The bedsheets smells like vinegar because my BF doesn't like to wear clothes when he sleeps, sweats, and then doesn't change the sheets as often as he should so it is up to me to do it. I would change sheets every two weeks but when I left it up to him, I lasted about a month before I physically couldn't sleep because the smell was so bad.

From a few pages back, and I get the impression this whole post is exaggerated for dramatic effect, but the idea of even waiting two weeks to change bedsheets kind of grosses me out. Personally I've got to wash my sheets and sleep on new ones at least twice a week, and if I were rich and could just buy unlimited, high threadcount cotton sheets I'd be changing those things every day.

I guess it's one of those weird hygienic things that different people have radically different tolerances for. I've always had issues with insomnia and have a princess-and-the-pea relationship with laying down and trying to sleep, whereas there are other things that I'm way less persnickety about, but hearing stories about people's gross unwashed sheets always gets me.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 04:13

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Found out that my(f22) boyfriend(m23) who recently graduated with his master's has been cyberbullying a friend for not going to college
[new]

quote:

My boyfriend (Eric) graduated with his master's in the Spring and had a party to celebrate in the summer. He's hoping to be a teacher after attaining his master's degree, and I graduated with my bachelor's recently. We've been dating for almost three years after meeting in college, but when I stumbled upon something that I bought to his attention, he made me out to be the enemy for being "untrustworthy" and "not on his side"

Eric is involved in a few role-play groups on Twitter and has a few accounts that portray various media characters. He's also into D&D, but writing stories for the role-play group is his hobby, and while I'm not a part of the group, I follow the accounts and sometimes keep up with his storylines. However, he made an account that role-played one of our friends, an account that I wasn't supposed to find, but ended up stumbling upon it because one of his other accounts followed it. Long story short, there was a guy named Evan who is in his D&D group, and Evan would often invite his younger brother (Todd) to play along. I've played D&D with the group a few times, and Todd would often help bring it to life by drawing characters/whatever my boyfriend would imagine, and I always thought it was cool

Evan came from a military family where both of his parents served, but he went to college. Todd wanted to serve following his high school graduation, but Eric would try to convince him to go to school instead and believed that an education would be better in the long term. However, Todd still wanted to go into the service upon graduation. So, he would talk to Evan to get him on his side, but Evan reinforced that the choice is ultimately Todd's and that there are benefits to both college and military, so neither of them would be a bad choice. However, when an injury would prevent him from being able to join the service, Eric believed that he would opt of college like Evan, but he decided to do an internship through a connection his father had instead, and that would lead to what happened recently

Eric made a Twitter that impersonated Todd, but unlike his role-play accounts, he actually made it look like Todd's actual account and used it to make fun of him. He downloaded photos of Todd and used them to make memes that degraded him for not going to college, some calling himself "stupid" or "wanting hand-me-downs" to name a few, and he also made posts about Evan and his family which led to me wanting to talk to him. When I told him what I saw, I asked why he thought it was appropriate to do that, to which he said that "everyone sucks up to military families" and that they "get a pass for being reta____ed" and that Todd "got what he deserved" with his injury. He also said that they're "poor enough to probably get free college" and that it proves he was "right all along". But when I told him that I couldn't believe what he was saying, he said "what do you expect" and that he's going to be a teacher who "obviously prioritizes education", but he didn't stop there. He also said that I was "being inconsiderate" because he has ADHD and uses Twitter to vent his feelings. But, I told him that that's not an excuse for what he did and that he should take it down, but he refused and told me to mind my own business. We've argued before, but he's never told me off like this until then and said that venting on Twitter "helps him be a better person in real life because it drains his frustration". When he talks to Evan at D&D, he'll speak his opinion but never as rudely as I found on Twitter. But, finding this account was like finding a different side of him, and after I found it, he became really defensive and told me that he didn't want me following his role-play accounts anymore, but I've been reconsidering our relationship after this because he thinks it's right and is still upset at me while still making new posts. I'm considering breaking things off, but I'm afraid that he'd do something similar to me after finding his new method of venting. At the same time, I don't care if he does it to me, but I want to ask if anyone's ever dealt with anything similar and how to handle distancing from someone like him who uses social media to do what he did. Like, he said that he went to the accounts of Todd's family to get photos from there too, and I'm afraid that he'll harass the accounts of people close to me, which is why I'm also thinking about safeguarding myself from that too. Aside from what I'm thinking, is there anything else I should consider before telling him my plans to make sure I'm safe?

TL;DR: Someone in my boyfriend's D&D/role-playing group wanted to go into the military upon graduation, but my boyfriend who's planning to be a teacher tried to convince him to do college instead. However, when he refused, he went online and created a Twitter that impersonated said friend and made fun of him and got upset when I called him out

This dude is loving crazy. I hope he doesn't treat his students like this.

My (27M) girlfriend (28F) only wants boys and will not go through with any pregnancy if she finds out the child is a girl.

quote:

We have been dating for a year and half. We had a pregnancy scare last week. She is not pregnant. we were relieved but also slightly disappointed. We were talking about the topics of children and the subject of gender came up. I don't care about gender.

She said she only wanted boys and didn't want girls. I understand having a preference but this sounds really extreme so I asked what she would do if the baby turned out to be a girl. She said she would get an abortion.

we ended the conversation as I really didn't know what to say to that. I have been thinking about it and I am really worried. I am worried if she will be a good parent to any child frankly. I just don't understand it.

She has a terrible relationship with her mother and I think some of her reluctance may stem from that. I just don't know how to deal with this and talk about it. She hates talking about her mother and I think this will be a very hard topic to discuss. I need some advice on how to handle this sensitively.

TLDR : Girlfriend said she will get an abortion if the baby turns to be a girl. I need advice to talk about it.

My husband just spent a poo poo ton of money on himself and his dog knowing I was trying to save up so my kids could actually have a Christmas

quote:

I think I'm here more or less to vent than anything else. I lost my job a month ago due to medical issues and I'm currently very close to being able to get back out there. I can see the end of the tunnel but I'm still in a lot of pain. My husband is now the bread winner for the first ever time since being together (8 years).

My children are not his biological kids. He got a dog 2 years ago and that is his baby. Like wont go anywhere without this dog and it's like an unhealthy attachment. Like if he gets home from work he wont even speak to me but will immediately love on his dog and continue to do so all night while I take care of the entire house. Has her sit on his lap all night long basically. He treats me and the kids fine, dont get me wrong. He is not mean. He is attentive for the most part. He just very obviously loves his "baby" much more.

Anyways.. we got our workers relief check in the mail on Monday of last week. I went and cashed them on Friday and put them in the bank and fully told him my plan to spend that on my kids for Christmas, which is going to be incredibly small this year. Maybe 2 items at most because we are broke. But I told him this anyways. Today he had the day off and he ended up going and dropping $90 on a pair of shoes that he didnt need (he has like 4 other pairs that he makes up excuses to not wear), a new insulated hat and face mask that cost almost $30, a new 12ft phone charger for himself despite us having 2 regular chargers already AND dropped almost $80 on his dog (treats, jacket, booties, hat). Be also paid rent and our other bills so now we have $34 left over. Which means he literally spent all of my workers relief check so now I have nothing.

I confronted him on it and he said not to worry about it because he will have 4 pay checks between now and Christmas and the kids will still have poo poo for Christmas but the thing is, we have almost $400 coming out for his back debt payments. My kids are going to have a poo poo Christmas even more than they were already looking at because he spent all this money on unnecessary poo poo that he and his dog definitely didnt even need. I'm so upset. I know I will figure it out no question, whether I need to go through a Toys for Tots program or not but I cant tell if I'm allowing this to build resentment because admittedly Christmas is my favorite holiday and I like spending at least $150 on each of my kids, but this year I will be lucky to spend maybe $50 each. I feel this was so disrespectful that he spent the only money I had that was actually mine on himself and his dog.

We couldnt have separate bank accounts because he owed money from his previous bank (he was 19 and his mother was writing and bouncing checks in his name). So it was either he get on the account with me as a secondary or pay back almost $9k worth of poo poo that his mother should have been paying back. We had a rough start because of her ignorance. His credit was destroyed already when I met him at 18 because his mother completely screwed him. This is the first time this has ever happened. I had no reason prior to not trust him being on my account. We were best friends for 7 years prior to dating.

What do I do? I learned I am not my father's daughter. Posted byu/paniced
3 days ago

quote:

Hi (maybe throwaway, we will see)

I really need perspectives. First I love my family, I can not remember many bad things between us, I am/was closer with my mother but I think i have a very good relationship with my father, we share even hobbies together and my brother and I also are very close.

It turned out I (19f) am not my father's daughter (x1) (my brother (21) is very likely his son, they share a hereditary disease). I confronted my mother, the first times she dismissed it and left the house, when she came back she screamed at me to let it go the third time she broke down, said that it is possible but i can never tell him, she says he's throwing us both out if he would know (x2). She said he would not accept me if he would know.

I planed/tried to talk to him yesterday, but I panicked (I thought i would simply mention the test, or ask for a real one to be sure, but how can i do that?). I fear my mother could be right.

Since than i can not look him in the eyes. My mother cooked big and is extra attentive, talks about family and how good our life is a lot... I can not stand her.

I wrote a letter to not tell him myself but did not give it to him?

What do I do?... I am terrified of telling him. I feel like i betrayed him. I have no Idea what I would do if he really kicks us out. My mother does not work and did not since a long time... I could, but it would change everything. I am so angry with her and now me, and so sad. I think he should know, make an informed decision, but maybe not now? After my education? This is so hosed up, I know I did nothing wrong until I did not tell him, but since than i feel shady and selfish... Even the thought to wait to tell him makes me sick, but it would maybe be better for me?

x1: My made a 23andMe in august his year, partly for fun but mostly because he fears a genetic disease that my father fights since a view years. He urged me to make one too for early treatment, I did. I got it back on the 24th... and it says we are half siblings. We do not have a real fatherhood test so far, but my mother admitted that there is a chance, but refuses to tell me more so far.

x2: I live still with my parents (and plan to do that until I finished my education), me and my brother have a floor of the house for our self. I really like it there.

x3: My father travels a lot, he is normally away for ~4 days a week.

Edit: Thanks for the replays everyone. I need to step away a bit, many of the posts let my cry again, especially the ones that say nice things or try to ensure me that he would still love me... I want to go on a long walk to think and calm down... I will come back later... sorry for not replaying until than.

Edit2: Thank you all very much. I decided to tell him. But I am still not sure how. There are suggestions to bring him and my mother together, present the test and tell her she need to explain it to him. In private msg i was asked what his job is, and someone added to my consideration that it could endanger him. Many pointed out I should think about a backup plan, and made clear that it is very likely that my mother will resent me if i tell him. This means there is a very real possibility that I am alone afterwards.

I may go hiking with my brother a view days and talk to him first. I also talked to a friend of mine and her mother that is a very close friend since childhood, I would be welcome at least a view weeks there, for a start. She thinks I should not talk to him before christmas... she thinks that is something for the new year's day, but I can not imagine christmas like that. I also will visit another friend for the next days... I can't stand them at the moment.

Call me manipulative if you want, but I feel like this kinda poo poo shouldn't be brought up until the children [op] are in a safe stable place. If it goes wrong and she gets kicked out or has to live in an abusive environment.... My heart goes out to her. No updates tho.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 05:03

Angrymog: Jan 30, 2012; Really Madcats

sean10mm posted:

The entire genre of stories involving a seemingly squared away wife supporting a totally parasitic manbaby who contributed nothing for years never fails to blow my mind. Like I know there's some bias ~~and some of them are just made up~~ but holy poo poo, what is the secret to all these turbo failures getting women to just let them leech off of them?

I've kind of seen this happen with friends of mine (we'll call them Mary and Bill). Bill is her second husband (her first was obviously abusive I think). Both of them brought two kids to the new relationship, though IIRC neither set of kids stayed with Mary and Bill full time, so aren't really a factor in this. Mary was a teacher and working towards her Masters degree, and I honestly, in the over 16 years I've known them not ever heard of Bill having a job except in the past six months, once everything else had broken down.

They had a kid together who's turned out to be pretty autistic (she's smart and verbal, but she has serious problems dealing with anything outside her comfort bubble). Bill's basically followed Mary around for 16 years when she got teaching jobs in the UAE, Germany, and finally the UK. It was understandable him not having a job in the UAE or Germany and he looked after their daughter when she wasn't in school, but when they got to the UK where he could speak the language and has a visa that allows working he still refused to even try to get a part time job or do anything apart from play computer games all day - at this point the daughter is going to school regularly so doesn't need someone in the house all day.

Their relationship started to break down, and they broke up early in the covid times. Mary gave Bill something like six months to get out of their flat, and he did nothing apart from get sulkier and really stressing out the kid. This cumulated early this year when he made the world's most pathetic suicide attempt* with some pills that seemed to barely cause any reaction (he was out of hospital the next day and actually needed to be dragged out of the flat by police rather than strechered out). Another mutual friend of ours (let's call him Gary) took him in for what was supposed to be a couple of weeks whilst he got emergency housing sorted. He's been there since late spring. Gary lives in a one bedroom flat, so Bill has been camping out in his living room.

After a couple of months Bill managed to get a job as a cleaner (so turns out he was capable of working after all), but is still at Gary's and has made no real moves to get out - apparently estate agents aren't replying to emails when he's trying to find a room. Gary is really nice, way too nice to kick Bill out, but he gets stressed enough at other people in his space that he's always dismissed suggestions like getting a cleaner despite having serious mobility issues. And whilst Bill started off helping around the place, I think that that's stopped because a few weeks ago Gary said something about his feet hurting from having had to do the vacuuming.

Mary and Bill both originate from the states, but Mary now has an EU nationality, and Bill is here on a spousal visa. Which is going to expire at some point, and then his fantasy of staying in the UK is going to come crashing down, because whilst Mary might not be actively divorcing him, I can't see her bothering to renew his visa, and a cleaning job isn't going to make the ~35k needed to stay here.

One of the causes of their breakup? Mary wanting Bill to get a job or go back into education or just something, in case something happened to her - she didn't like the idea of him being totally dependent on her, because that's the situation she found herself in with her first husband.

* If he was serious they live by a high speed train line, and there's a foot bridge just there.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 05:34

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Angrymog posted:

* If he was serious they live by a high speed train line, and there's a foot bridge just there.

Maybe he was being considerate of the Train Engineer who has to live with that for the rest of his life.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 07:00

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Beachcomber posted:

Maybe he was being considerate of the Train Engineer who has to live with that for the rest of his life.

Sounds like decorum poisoning to me :colbert:

# ? Dec 1, 2021 07:19

poisonpill: Nov 8, 2009; The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.

Angrymog posted:

I've kind of seen this happen with friends of mine (we'll call them Mary and Bill). Bill is her second husband (her first was obviously abusive I think). Both of them brought two kids to the new relationship, though IIRC neither set of kids stayed with Mary and Bill full time, so aren't really a factor in this. Mary was a teacher and working towards her Masters degree, and I honestly, in the over 16 years I've known them not ever heard of Bill having a job except in the past six months, once everything else had broken down.

They had a kid together who's turned out to be pretty autistic (she's smart and verbal, but she has serious problems dealing with anything outside her comfort bubble). Bill's basically followed Mary around for 16 years when she got teaching jobs in the UAE, Germany, and finally the UK. It was understandable him not having a job in the UAE or Germany and he looked after their daughter when she wasn't in school, but when they got to the UK where he could speak the language and has a visa that allows working he still refused to even try to get a part time job or do anything apart from play computer games all day - at this point the daughter is going to school regularly so doesn't need someone in the house all day.

Their relationship started to break down, and they broke up early in the covid times. Mary gave Bill something like six months to get out of their flat, and he did nothing apart from get sulkier and really stressing out the kid. This cumulated early this year when he made the world's most pathetic suicide attempt* with some pills that seemed to barely cause any reaction (he was out of hospital the next day and actually needed to be dragged out of the flat by police rather than strechered out). Another mutual friend of ours (let's call him Gary) took him in for what was supposed to be a couple of weeks whilst he got emergency housing sorted. He's been there since late spring. Gary lives in a one bedroom flat, so Bill has been camping out in his living room.

After a couple of months Bill managed to get a job as a cleaner (so turns out he was capable of working after all), but is still at Gary's and has made no real moves to get out - apparently estate agents aren't replying to emails when he's trying to find a room. Gary is really nice, way too nice to kick Bill out, but he gets stressed enough at other people in his space that he's always dismissed suggestions like getting a cleaner despite having serious mobility issues. And whilst Bill started off helping around the place, I think that that's stopped because a few weeks ago Gary said something about his feet hurting from having had to do the vacuuming.

Mary and Bill both originate from the states, but Mary now has an EU nationality, and Bill is here on a spousal visa. Which is going to expire at some point, and then his fantasy of staying in the UK is going to come crashing down, because whilst Mary might not be actively divorcing him, I can't see her bothering to renew his visa, and a cleaning job isn't going to make the ~35k needed to stay here.

One of the causes of their breakup? Mary wanting Bill to get a job or go back into education or just something, in case something happened to her - she didn't like the idea of him being totally dependent on her, because that's the situation she found herself in with her first husband.

* If he was serious they live by a high speed train line, and there's a foot bridge just there.

99.999% chance Bill is posting anti-feminist MRA "women today just want everything handed to them" memes all day

# ? Dec 1, 2021 07:23

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for quitting my job to be a house husband and going to court to get 50/50 visitation and remove child support?

quote:

My (36m) ex-wife (35f) have 2 kids (7f) and (6m). We have been divorced for 3 years now and we are both happily remarried. We were bad spouses, but are now decent friend and both good parents.

My ex-wife has primary custody but currently I get them every other weekend and 2-3 evenings a week. It also helps that my wife (38f) and I live just a few miles away in the next town.

Since the divorce, my ex-wife has been a SAHM and her husband (36m) has a good job making ~$120k.

I have a good job and make ~$150k/year but my wife has always been the breadwinner and recently received a sizable promotion/raise up to $280k/year.

I've always wanted to go back to school, but with my work schedule I was never able to do it. My wife and I have been talking and she thinks I should quit my job, go back to school, and be a house husband. She already made the joke about getting me a French maid outfit... hahaha. Seriously though, this would allow us to spend more time with my kids too. We've been going over this for a few weeks know talking though how it would reduce our income, retirement savings, how it would effect our marriage, etc. We also talked about how we could logistically do it with the kids too. Luckily since we live close to my kids school, it should be easy for me to school drop offs and pick ups so I could do a 50/50 arrangement.

Here's my concern. Since my ex-wife was a SAHM and I kept working, I have been paying her $2,000/month. If I quit my job and went 50/50 on custody, I think it would be fair to go back to court to get the child support reduced to zero since neither of us would be working and we would be 50/50.

I talked to my ex-wife about this and at first she was onboard until I brought up child support. She blew up calling me selfish for only thinking about myself and that since I have a good job, I need to keep it. I didn't want to get into a fight with her so I hung up, but now I'm second guessing everything.

AITA for wanting to quit my job to be a house husband and go to court to get 50/50 visitation and remove child support?

Edit 1: My ex-wife and I split all kid related expenses and i have covered their health insurance since birth. I offered to continue paying for their coverage. Well, it would be on my wife's plan, but still...

Edit 2: As mentioned above, we live just a few miles away from my ex-wife and her husband. Nothing would changes for the kids education, sports, friends, favorite donut shop, etc.

Edit 3: My ex-wife was a successful real-estate agent making $100k/year. She chose to be a SAHM after she got re-married.

Edit 4: I will of course consult with an attorney before taking any actions.

Edit 5: I feel it is important to add this note about how we arrived at $2000/month of child support. Wen we got divorced i was earning ~$140k/year and my ex-wife was earning ~$100/year. She didn't want to live in the house so we refinanced her out of the house and she was paid out. The CA Child Support & Spousal Support calculator gave a guideline of ~$1350/month for CS and ~$100/month for SS. When we went through mediation, she requested $2,000 since she was going to have the expense of a new 3 bedroom house. I agreed to the increased amount of money. Even after she was married and my ex-wife and her husband bought their house, i never went back to lower the monthly payments.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 07:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 22:26

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for quitting my job to be a house husband and going to court to get 50/50 visitation and remove child support?

This guy has been more than fair to the point of getting taken advantage of, of course the ex wife is mad at losing out on $2k/month, but at the same time lol too bad

# ? Dec 1, 2021 07:58

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »