NFL Week 13 News/Views: Scoop & Score

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Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

Suspend all the Bucs and make them forfeit all their games from the past year and in the future.

lol found a list of stuff Antonio Clown has done:

quote:

�⁠ Kicked out of Florida International University after fighting a security guard

�⁠"Don't touch me. I'm the franchise"

� ⁠His second year in the league he took a personal stretch limo to a charity event, had them open every single expensive bottle of wine, rejected it. Refused to pay for it (charity, remember), then left. -credit Nduguu77

� ⁠Threw fits over not getting enough targets

� ⁠Drove 100 down McKnight Road in Pittsburgh, which has a 45 MPH speed limit

� ⁠Trashed a condo and threw furniture out a window 14th floor window, which almost hit some people, notably a child

� ⁠Killed a home aquarium full of piranhas and refused to pay the man who installed the tank

� ⁠Refused to play week 17 for the Steelers

� ⁠Dyed his mustache blonde

� ⁠Refused to pay a chef because he thought he threatened him by placing a fish head in the freezer (the fish head was saved to make a soup)

� ⁠Farted on a doctor

� ⁠Demanded a trade from the Steelers

� ⁠Became "Mr. Big Chest"

� ⁠Threw a fit over Juju winning team MVP and trashed him on social media

� ⁠(Allegedly) nixed a trade that would've sent him to the Bills

� ⁠Showed up to Raiders training camp in a hot air balloon

� ⁠Held out and refused to show up to training camp because the NFL would not approve his helmet because it was too old for their safety standards

� ⁠Froze his feet

� ⁠Tried to paint over his old helmet, hoping no one would notice I guess

� ⁠Acquired a newer version of the same model of helmet, which the NFL refused to let him use

� ⁠Picked out a new helmet and finally showed up to the Raiders

� ⁠Got fined by the Raiders for not attending camp

� ⁠Tweeted the fines

� ⁠Tried to fight Mike Mayock, called him a cracker, had to be held back by Vontaze Burfict, then punted a football down the practice field and said "fine me for that"

� ⁠Got fined for that

� ⁠Released a video where he used audio of Jon Gruden, who didn't know he was being recorded, which is illegal in California (full disclosure, Gruden has said he gave permission, but the generally accepted theory is that he said that in the hope that it would help get him to show up to the facility and not alienate him)

� ⁠Demanded a release from the Raiders

� ⁠Was released

� ⁠"GRANDMA I�M FREEEEEE! FLY LIKE A FREEEEE!"

� ⁠Made a lot of crazy tweets saying stuff like 'Devil is a lie', a proverb about burning down a village... he made a lot of crazy tweets around this time is the point here

� ⁠Liked a tweet about Mayock getting raped in the rear end

� ⁠Signed with the Patriots

� ⁠Moved in with Tom Brady

� ⁠The sexual assault allegations came out (the one where he's getting sued)

� ⁠The sexual harassment allegations came out (the one where he's not getting sued)

� ⁠Threatened the woman not suing him in a group text that included his lawyer and had a picture of her kids in the text

� ⁠Got released by the Patriots after one week

� ⁠Went off on a tweet storm and said a lot of crazy poo poo about a lot of people, and was supportive of people sending threats to the writer of the article detailing the sexual harassment allegations

� ⁠Said he was done with the NFL

� ⁠Went back to college via online classes

� ⁠Tried to outsource his homework to Twitter

� ⁠Wants to come back to the NFL

� ⁠Filed several grievances to try and get more than $40 million from the Raider's and Patriots

� ⁠Was ordered to show up for a deposition regarding trashing the condo

� ⁠Was accused of "reprehensible behavior" during the deposition Note: I cut the specifics about the deposition so I could fit this as a single comment. You can read more about it here if you're interested, because it, like everything else, is nuts

� ⁠Said that the Patriots have to pay him anyway, so they might as well let him play

� ⁠Tweeted a couple of bizarre tweets about the Raiders using him for HBO ratings and the Patriots trying to steal his stuff and kept using this weird chicken based metaphor

� ⁠Tried out for the Saints and brought an entourage and film crew to shoot a music video with him when specifically told not to do that

� ⁠Called out Robert Kraft for his rub and tug massage session in Florida

� ⁠Starting training for a boxing match with Logan Paul

� ⁠Tweeted "No more white woman 2020"

� ⁠The attorney representing him in the suit involving the condo quit

� ⁠Used a bunch of slurs and profane language towards cops in an Instagram video he posted

� ⁠A police youth football league cut ties with him and returned a donation after the release of the video saying there was a "irreparable rift" between the department and AB

� ⁠Threw a bag of gummy candy dicks at the cops in a video he posted

� ⁠Got dropped by his agent

� ⁠Was involved in a disputed with movers at his home where he allegedly threw rocks at the movers and moving vans. He is currently being investigated for battery by the police.

� ⁠His trainer was arrested and he is still a suspect in the battery case.

� ⁠Warrant issued for the arrest of AB.

� ⁠AB turns himself in to Broward Country Jail wearing this suit

� ⁠Rumors spread about AB signing with Tampa or Seattle

� ⁠AB announces his retirement (for what I believe is the third time, it's hard to find a good record of the rest of them)

� ⁠Two days later AB wants to play again and is asking for the league to wrap up it's investigation

� ⁠The NFL announces an eight game suspension for AB

� ⁠AB signs with the Buccaneers on a one-year deal

� ⁠Before he signed with the Buccaneers AB was accused of destroying a surveillance camera at a Florida gated community, throwing bike at a security-guard shack, and is not charged because HOA president "feared" retaliation, per police report

� ⁠AB is under investigation by the NFL for the bike throwing incident

� ⁠Allegedly acquired fake covid-19 card

� confirmed to have acquired a fake covid-19 card and subsequently suspended for three games

Codependent Poster fucked around with this message at 23:38 on Dec 2, 2021

# ? Dec 2, 2021 23:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 13, 2024 02:33

Henrik Zetterberg: Dec 7, 2007

Ches Neckbeard posted:

nuh uh I'm big vaccinated

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/1466520441154068487

"My client is vaccinated and has been since 3 hours after this news originally broke a couple weeks ago just so I could say he's vaccinated"

# ? Dec 2, 2021 23:39

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Codependent Poster posted:

lol found a list of stuff Antonio Clown has done:

Counterpoint:
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AfraidShockingBassethound-mobile.mp4

# ? Dec 2, 2021 23:40

bows1: May 16, 2004; Chill, whale, chill

Bellmaker posted:

sorry for the doublepost but if the GDT tonight isn't titled "Return of the McAdoo" I'll be very disappointed with you all

I was thinking McAdoo About Nothing since this game is going to suck but yours Is better

# ? Dec 2, 2021 23:42

DeimosRising: Oct 17, 2005; �Hola SEA!

indigi posted:

I�m not skipping out on more $900 to see the birth of my child, that�s what cell phone camera�s are for.

That�s a very specific number

# ? Dec 2, 2021 23:54

BlindSite: Feb 8, 2009

Brilliant wide receivers. Either completely vanilla boring dudes or mad as cut snakes with no in between.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:06

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

BlindSite posted:

Brilliant wide receivers. Either completely vanilla boring dudes or mad as cut snakes with no in between.

or Marvin Harrison, who successfully pretends to be the former for years while secretly being the latter

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:15

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Lmao he froze his own feet

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:16

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

https://twitter.com/NFL/status/1433535439483269139

whoops

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:19

Whooping Crabs: Apr 13, 2010; Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

Somebody check Tom's COVID antibody titer

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:22

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Lol he didn't get the Rodgers rate of a stern talking to.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:30

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

Lol he didn't get the Rodgers rate of a stern talking to.

Rodgers didn't lie to the NFL. He only lied to the public at large. There's a big difference here.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:31

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Yeah the NFL knew what Rodgers did, so on that front there was no basis to punish him.

They punished Rodgers for breaching protocols themselves, which is a different thing

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:33

bows1: May 16, 2004; Chill, whale, chill

quote:

� ⁠Refused to pay a chef because he thought he threatened him by placing a fish head in the freezer (the fish head was saved to make a soup)

This one is incredible

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:54

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

Honestly who wasn't done with white women in 2020.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 01:08

Whooping Crabs: Apr 13, 2010; Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

bows1 posted:

This one is incredible

Antonio sleeps with the fishes

# ? Dec 3, 2021 01:14

Tim Whatley: Mar 28, 2010

I completely forgot how wild it was that Vontaze Burfict who directly played a role in how insane AB is was the one holding him back at Raiders training camp

# ? Dec 3, 2021 01:16

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

Bellmaker posted:

sorry for the doublepost but if the GDT tonight isn't titled "Return of the McAdoo" I'll be very disappointed with you all

Well... poo poo.

quote:

� ⁠Showed up to Raiders training camp in a hot air balloon

Credit where credit is due this one is funny.

Quiet Feet fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Dec 3, 2021

# ? Dec 3, 2021 01:17

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

News: The Browns don't play this week
Views: Thank God I'm saved from disappointing horseshit for 1 week

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:06

Henrik Zetterberg: Dec 7, 2007

quote:

� ⁠Tried to fight Mike Mayock, called him a cracker, had to be held back by Vontaze Burfict, then punted a football down the practice field and said "fine me for that"

� ⁠Got fined for that

This is probably the most tame of the list, yet the funniest by far.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:08

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Gatts posted:

News: The Browns don't play this week
Views: Thank God I'm saved from disappointing horseshit for 1 week

The second does not follow from the first.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:20

Rooster Brooster: Mar 30, 2001; Maybe it doesn't really matter anymore.

Kalli posted:

Counterpoint:
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AfraidShockingBassethound-mobile.mp4

Wasn't he the one who went full Liu Kang on that punter, too? That was pretty sweet.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:46

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Rooster Brooster posted:

Wasn't he the one who went full Liu Kang on that punter, too? That was pretty sweet.

Yes.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:53

bows1: May 16, 2004; Chill, whale, chill

Hard Knocks: Wentz seems like a turbo nerd Jesus Christ

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:53

Hot Diggity!: Apr 3, 2010; SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

Rooster Brooster posted:

Wasn't he the one who went full Liu Kang on that punter, too? That was pretty sweet.

Legit the only cool thing he's done. But hey now the Bucs have at least two player who submitted fake cards!

# ? Dec 3, 2021 03:01

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

bows1 posted:

Hard Knocks: Wentz seems like a turbo nerd Jesus Christ

"Seems" nothing, he is

# ? Dec 3, 2021 03:05

EvilBlackRailgun: Jan 28, 2007

bows1 posted:

Hard Knocks: Wentz seems like a turbo Jesus Christ nerd

FTFY

# ? Dec 3, 2021 06:02

Zero_Grade: Mar 18, 2004; Darktider 🖤🌊

~Neck Angels~

Codependent Poster posted:

Suspend all the Bucs and make them forfeit all their games from the past year and in the future.

lol found a list of stuff Antonio Clown has done:

Oh my god, it just kept going

# ? Dec 3, 2021 06:02

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

AB spray painting his old Steelers helmet and trying to pass it off at practice was the highlight of that odyssey

# ? Dec 3, 2021 06:05

Docjowles: Apr 9, 2009

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

AB spray painting his old Steelers helmet and trying to pass it off at practice was the highlight of that odyssey

I thought I could rattle off most of the insane poo poo AB had done but after seeing that list I remembered maybe 25%. Not cause it�s not memorable, there�s just so loving much lol.

Also �jerked off on his trainer� kind of plastered over the funnier stuff once that chapter came out :yikes:

# ? Dec 3, 2021 11:11

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

Docjowles posted:

I thought I could rattle off most of the insane poo poo AB had done but after seeing that list I remembered maybe 25%. Not cause it�s not memorable, there�s just so loving much lol.

Also �jerked off on his trainer� kind of plastered over the funnier stuff once that chapter came out

There's so much funny stuff in there but so much hosed up stuff too.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 15:48

bows1: May 16, 2004; Chill, whale, chill

Shinjobi posted:

"Seems" nothing, he is

Not a guy you can see a locker room rallying around IMO

# ? Dec 3, 2021 15:53

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

From Mike Tanier's game preview thread this week:

The 49ers' time of possession over their last three games: 39:03, 38:22, 37:07.
The Seahawks' time of possession over the last three games: 20:51, 19:38, 18:20.

:wow: