Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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take the moon: by sebmojo

Karate Bastard posted:

*smack lips* hmm yes, this margarine sure is butt, however I would have wagered it to be moreso

lol

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# ? Nov 30, 2021 01:54

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# ? May 10, 2024 08:35

Finger Prince

In soviet Russia, we line up for food in store. In America you line up for food in restaurant.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 03:19

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Microsoft's marketing team trying to work creepypastas into microsofts comms strategy.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 17:06

google THIS

The Mystery Machine Method

Trying to seduce women by saying things like "Zoinks!" and "Let's split up, gang!"

# ? Dec 1, 2021 16:37

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Well I'm seduced!

# ? Dec 1, 2021 18:44

Jestery: Not a Dickman, just a shape

World War 2 footage showing bombs being dropped but they wolf whistle and cat call

# ? Dec 2, 2021 06:47

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Of Shaggy and Scooby, which one is the wingman?

# ? Dec 2, 2021 13:07

Finger Prince

Prurient Squid posted:

Of Shaggy and Scooby, which one is the wingman?

Velma

# ? Dec 2, 2021 16:43

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

A stupid person sees a person who looks exactly like them and doesn't know how to handle it.

"That's... me? What's going ON?"

# ? Dec 2, 2021 19:06

alnilam

going back in time and selling the most cringey stupid poo poo to old timey people and they're fuckin eating it up. like some boardwalk t-shirts that say "i see dumb people" and "I'm with stupid --->" and these proper fancy high-class ppl in like edwardian england or something are going nuts for it, blowing their minds with humor that was stale to us as soon as it was printed on a shirt

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Dec 2, 2021 19:23

google THIS

I take in the bizarre irony of a mustachioed man in a bowler strapping a pair of stainless steel Horse Nutz� to his gelding, momentarily disquieted.

"This is fine," I say at last, and I saunter back to my time machine, barely noticing that my hairstyle has changed to a mullet.

# ? Dec 2, 2021 20:11

more falafel please: forums poster

alnilam posted:

going back in time and selling the most cringey stupid poo poo to old timey people and they're fuckin eating it up. like some boardwalk t-shirts that say "i see dumb people" and "I'm with stupid --->" and these proper fancy high-class ppl in like edwardian england or something are going nuts for it, blowing their minds with humor that was stale to us as soon as it was printed on a shirt

gotta see if my mom still has my WAAZZUUUUUP tshirt, i'm gonna make a mint

thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!

# ? Dec 2, 2021 20:22

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

This isn't as good as what you guys were talking about but a man that has spaghetti his pocket and offers it to strangers.

e: hot wilikers!!! it's spaghetti joe - don't look him in the eye, he'll offer you some that old spaghetti.

Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Dec 2, 2021

# ? Dec 2, 2021 20:41

more falafel please: forums poster

Prurient Squid posted:

This isn't as good as what you guys were talking about but a man that has spaghetti his pocket and offers it to strangers.

i used to be in a weird facebook offshoot group that was called "<original parent group> ideas club" that was just posting "ideas" one of which was "sharemilk", milk that's meant for sharing. specifically, just fresh gallons of that cow juice sitting on top of every gas pump so that whenever you get gas you can have a lil' sharemilk

thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!

# ? Dec 2, 2021 20:43

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

If you can't trust milk you found lying in a petrol station what can you trust?

# ? Dec 2, 2021 20:46

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

alnilam posted:

going back in time and selling the most cringey stupid poo poo to old timey people and they're fuckin eating it up. like some boardwalk t-shirts that say "i see dumb people" and "I'm with stupid --->" and these proper fancy high-class ppl in like edwardian england or something are going nuts for it, blowing their minds with humor that was stale to us as soon as it was printed on a shirt

Me: I'm gonna make a fortune off this.

Them: *Pays me three hay pennies*

# ? Dec 2, 2021 20:46

Finger Prince

Finger Prince posted:

Going back in time and starting the waazzuuuuup trend in Renaissance times. That's like the only difference to the timeline, just an exotic stranger introducing people to their "traditional greeting".

going back in time and saying "sup" to my friend, who is confused about why i'm being so formal

thanks Saoshyant and nesamdoom for the sigs!

# ? Dec 2, 2021 22:59

deep dish peat moss

Finger Prince posted:

Going back in time and starting the waazzuuuuup trend in Renaissance times. That's like the only difference to the timeline, just an exotic stranger introducing people to their "traditional greeting".

telling them you're from Byobylon

# ? Dec 2, 2021 23:03

Dip Viscous

alnilam posted:

going back in time and selling the most cringey stupid poo poo to old timey people and they're fuckin eating it up. like some boardwalk t-shirts that say "i see dumb people" and "I'm with stupid --->" and these proper fancy high-class ppl in like edwardian england or something are going nuts for it, blowing their minds with humor that was stale to us as soon as it was printed on a shirt

"she is with child --->" for guys to wear and have the arrow point at their pregnant wife

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:26

google THIS

A saddle that says "If you can read this the rider fell off"

# ? Dec 3, 2021 00:45

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Billboards and bus stop advertising are banned so corporations send out dogs and cuddly sheep with adverts spraypainted on them out into the city streets.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:28

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

The Hamburgler true-crime podcast series.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:31

Prof. Crocodile

Bright Bart posted:

The Hamburgler true-crime podcast series.

if you could get maybe 3 episodes out of this idea, it could easily go viral.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:37

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Prof. Crocodile posted:

if you could get maybe 3 episodes out of this idea, it could easily go viral.

Even though I'd be providing advertisement for McDonald's I am not in the headspace for ignoring cease and desist letters from corporate lawyers. Already ducking creditors.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 02:43

Twenty Four

google THIS posted:

A saddle that says "If you can read this the rider fell off"

A hot iron brand for your horse's butt with the likeness of a mischievous Calvin pissing on things.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 06:19

Karate Bastard

What, Calvin?

I don't know man. Depending on when you went that could upset a lot of people

# ? Dec 3, 2021 07:26

Karate Bastard

Imma go there and tell them the reason they're not flying off this round earth this instant is a force called grabbity

Karate Bastard fucked around with this message at 07:30 on Dec 3, 2021

# ? Dec 3, 2021 07:27

Karate Bastard

Also gonna teach them about bitcoin, to stick it to the king.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 07:31

Twenty Four

Karate Bastard posted:

What, Calvin?

I don't know man. Depending on when you went that could upset a lot of people

So you're saying they might be pissed off about what Calvin is pissin on?

Going back before the historical Calvin was born and popularizing my hot iron cartoon Calvin pissin brands, then later no one will take the historical guy seriously because they all think he is just a horse's rear end joke.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 07:57

Jestery: Not a Dickman, just a shape

A short film about a kid identifying as an attack helicopter / any of the 30 Genders(/ sarc)

But it's just played completely.sttaight and doesn't interfere with daily life

# ? Dec 3, 2021 10:53

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Ruining the indulgence economy by handing out get out of purgatory free cards.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 12:31

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Monopoly but themed on the Tokugawa Shogunate.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 14:10

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Jestery posted:

A short film about a kid identifying as an attack helicopter / any of the 30 Genders(/ sarc)

But it's just played completely.sttaight and doesn't interfere with daily life

https://youtu.be/dzRxbqvGXzw

This is the only take on self-identification I vibes with.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 15:49

Karate Bastard

I identify as sarc

# ? Dec 3, 2021 16:03

alnilam

Karate Bastard posted:

What, Calvin?

I don't know man. Depending on when you went that could upset a lot of people

lol

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Dec 3, 2021 19:59

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

A song about a very effeminite homosexual man who likes sex a lot to the tune of Mr Boombastic. And the lyrics go...

"They call me limp-wristed, I love being fisted..." or something.

This might be a bad idea?

# ? Dec 3, 2021 20:08

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Prurient Squid posted:

Monopoly but themed on the Tokugawa Shogunate.

Ukiyo-e art in the board and cards.

"Hokusai wave crashes your property. Go directly to isolation. Do not pass the Kabuki theater, do not collect 200 Ryō."

# ? Dec 3, 2021 20:34

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

A clueless detective kind of like Columbo except he really doesn't know what he's doing and the reader of the stories is left wanting to throw a brick at something when he never puts two and two together.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 22:19

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# ? May 10, 2024 08:35

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Two Budhist monks arrive at the monastery in a luxury SUV and immediately make a scene yelling at each other loudly while people eating hamburgers at the place next door look on bewildered.

Oops this is not a joke I've made up but a story about what I've seen in person.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 22:20

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