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kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
dudes who get upset about poo poo like looking at my girl bro are the kind of dudes who like being upset

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Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA? My fiancée is mad that I buy my mom gifts

quote:

I might truly be TA here and I need some outside perspective.

After a huge fight with my fiancée I decided to get some feedback from friends but also Internet strangers to see what everyone thinks.

My fiancée is mad that I always guy gifts for my mom.

Context : My mom and my dad do not have a loving marriage. They're more like roommates the past few years. She feels like she is not desirable or loved and I try to make some small acts of love to show her that she matters. When I got with my fiancée 4 years ago my mom would get sad whenever she saw me buying gifts for my fiancée, then gf. So whenever I bought a gift for my fiancée I always made sure to buy one for my mom too to make her feel loved.

My fiancée didn't speak on it at first but the past one year she always makes remarks about how this feels weird because she feels like she has to share me with my mother.

Her concerns are that whenever I buy my fiancée a valentines day gift I also get one for my mom. Whenever I get my fiancée anniversary gifts I always get one for my mom too. Something small just to make her feel thought of and loved. Whenever I get my fiancée birthday gifts I make sure to pick something for my mom as well.

I know it sounds weird and I recognise how it sounds as well. I didn't think much of it at first until my fiancée started voicing her concerns more and more.

My fiancées and I's anniversary is coming up in few days. Since it's close to Xmas I always put the anniversary gift under the tree. This year we haven't done gift shopping yet so it's only the anniversary gift under the tree for now.

As usual I went and bought something small for my mom. My fiancée got mad as hell when she found out and she told me she's had enough of that and that she can't have anything special or exclusive to herself without having to share me with my mother. She told me that she understands how my mom feels lonely but its not my responsibility to act as her replacement husband.

At first I thought she was overreacting and acting jealous over my own mom but talking with some friends I've now come to see her point so AITA???

GI_Clutch
Aug 22, 2000

by Fluffdaddy
Dinosaur Gum

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation. Done to the tune of "Stayin' Alive".

"Another One Bites The Dust" also has a tempo within the acceptable range.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
how-deep-is-your-love
how-deep-is-your-love

Woodchip
Mar 28, 2010
Headline has a good hook

Update-Wife of 8 years came out as Poly and I want to come out as Divorced but she is upset

quote:


**Update- So I have been doing a whole lot of talking with my wife during the past 2 days and I have to admit, I am a little worried about her. Some of the posters on my last post talked about her going through some sort of mental break or even tumor, and that spooked me. Because she has been very erratic in her behavior, 1 week ago she couldnt wait to be poly and now she has cut those friends out of her life and is now completely happy with our monogamous life. These extreme mood swings are not normal.**

**Anyways, after my last post I again talked to my wife and she told me that she has completely blocked her "friends" from her life and is now committed to me and our daughter for the rest of our lives. We argued back and forth but she didnt budge from her view that we dont need to divorce and she will do anything I ask to make sure we stay together. So I took this opportunity to ask her to undergo a full mental health check up at the hands of a professional. We are very lucky in this regard as one of the most premiere mental health and neuro sciences institute of our country is situated in my city only. She agreed to see a professional so I have booked an appointment for this Friday and I have canned the talk of divorce for now. She has been behaving normally and I am enjoying it right now, even though it might be short lived. She is back to her usual loving and caring self and we even took our daughter for ice cream today. So I am keeping my fingers crossed till its confirmed one way or another. I dont want to act hasty, I want to gather all facts before making a life changing decision. Also, she just went to sleep a little while ago (we are back in the same room) and before dozing off she apologized again and said she will spend the rest of her days trying to fix what she broke by her stupidity.**

**Anyways that was my update folks, I will update further by this weekend.**

Original post below:

Yeah the title just about sums my situation up perfectly. We have been married for 8 years and together for 12. My wife met a "believer" in the lifestyle around 6 months back and started singing praises about the lifestyle to me. She is kind of a trend follower so I thought this will go away in time. But 5 days ago she came to me and announced that she is poly now. I said ok, what does that mean? She said, well she is going to take another lover now and that lover will be her "believer" friend's husband. I said sure, but we should divorce before she goes down this path.

But she is not ready to divorce me and yet she wants to take him as a lover. I dont want that in any shape or form. We have a daughter(6f) and own a condo together. Any advice for me Reddit?

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

reminds me of the Man Seeking Woman where Josh's girlfriend comes out as not-Josherosexual

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005

*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA? My fiancée is mad that I buy my mom gifts

right sentiment, just horrific execution

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

it's called a no side pieceS relationship, I'm allowed to have one

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

kntfkr posted:

dudes who get upset about poo poo like looking at my girl bro are the kind of dudes who like being upset

you're in a thread about voluntarily looking at reddit, we're all the kind of dudes who like being upset

Upgrade
Jun 19, 2021



Coming out as Divorced is very good

Also guy with mom means well but cosntantly saying he wants his mom to feel loved is yikes

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for reporting a student and ruining his future?

quote:

I'm a final year student in college, and I am mixed-race (my dad is black and he is from another country). Back in 2020 when we were in quarantine, all of our classes were held online. I joined a business class because I was interested and had a lot of free time. One of the students in this class was a guy (let's call him jake). Jake is kind of a jerk, he constantly makes inappropriate jokes and overall is a very uncomfortable person to be around.

So one class, the teacher was talking about vaccines and whether we thought that they would create one any time soon, jake interrupts the teacher and says this joke: I heard that (my country) made a vaccine and they tried it on 10 people, 9 died and the other guy has brain damage and then started laughing. Literally no one laughed and everyone was silent because they all know I'm from that particular country. The teacher scolded him for his racist joke and then we moved on.

A minute after the class was over he followed me on instagram and DMed me saying he needs me to help him with the homework, I replied saying I don't like talking to racists and blocked him.

Somehow he managed to get my number and texted me that he is sorry but he was trying to get my attention because he had a big crush on me. I told him that this was the worst way to get someone's attention and asked him to never do it again.

He stopped texting when he noticed I wasn't interested but made a fake account on IG and stalked me for a whole year. He then began DMing me and told me that it was him and that he wants me to give him a second chance because he was in love with me. I said no and blocked him. He made a third account and dmed me this:

"You are so full of yourself, the only reason I asked you out was because I wanted to experience sex with a black person because why else would I do it? Who would want to go out with a disgusting slur word.

I took a screenshot and showed it to the school. (Jake was graduating after finishing that one class) and the school expelled him immediately after checking with my story.

He sent me a text saying that I ruined his life and that he spent 5 years in that place and his family paid a fortune for him to graduate and I just got him expelled like that?

Ngl I kind of feel bad because yeah I did ruin his life and I'm sure his family is devastated but I also feel that he deserved it.

So AITA?

Gadzuko
Feb 14, 2005

WoodrowSkillson posted:

right sentiment, just horrific execution

It's like a goofus/gallant scenario.

Getting your mom a small gift for her birthday or anniversary because your dad won't: heartwarming

Getting your mom a small gift for your wife's birthday or anniversary: weird

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for reporting a student and ruining his future?

You know the answer, but thanks for the comeuppance erotica nonetheless!

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?


Hair Elf

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for reporting a student and ruining his future?

Dude ruined his own future

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Drives me nuts how many stories there are of dudes destroying their own lives but the community and families blaming the victim for it. For a certain type of person, the absolute worst thing you can do to a man is to destroy his career or reputation. And the higher that person's status the worse it is of course. Come forward about sexual abuse from your doctor? Horrible, do you understand how respected and important the doctor is? Do you know he's head of the local rotary club? Do you know how many local charity boards he sits on? Do you know how integrated his wife is with the local church's various clubs? You really think all that should be ruined because of one mistake??? How dare you, victim.

Just boils my blood. There was a story along almost exactly those lines years ago. Was a doctor or principal or something in a smallish town. No one doubted the victim exactly but everyone was enraged at this underage slut destroying the life of a "Good Man" of upstanding reputation in the community. Decorum states you settle these things in private, maybe he buys you a car or puts in a good word for you to get into a nice school or something. No need to ruin a career over it.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for telling my mom and sister to stop doing background checks for every girl I date?

quote:

I'm a guy in my early 20s. I have never been in a committed relationship just few dating situations left and right but nothing serious.

I'm the kind of guy who won't bring a girl home to meet my family unless I'm serious with them. But I do post pictures with my dates or my female friends on social media occasionally. I've noticed a pattern where my sister and my mom will do background checks on every girl I pose with on pictures. One of my dates was finishing law school. Never mentioned that to anyone it was just said on our one single date.

Next few days my mom asked me about "that lawyer girl" that I'm seeing. I was confused because I hadn't mentioned anything to anyone and it was one single date with this girl, never saw her again. Apparently my mom got my sis to do a background check on the girl.

That happened with other girls I was either on a date with or simply hanging out as friends. At some point I stopped posting my female friends or my dates so I could avoid this.

The past 5 months I've been seeing this girl and we actually made our relationship official. I'm really seeing a future with her like with nobody else before. We met at her job which was at a strip club. She used to work there as a stripper but she stopped doing sex work and is now working there as a bartender.

I hadn't mentioned anything to my family for obvious reasons. Since we were pretty serious I wanted her to meet my family. My mom adored her and my sister was amazed by her sense of humor and style. I was pretty relieved they had a good impression of her.

Not few days had passed and I got a call from my mom telling me she needs to speak to me immediately. As soon as I went to the house they showed me pics of my gf on the pole from her old career path and several NSFW pics she had on social. They thought I didn't know and they were trying to expose her to me. I told them that I knew all along and that I don't mind. I also told them that it's invasive to do background checks on every woman I breathe close to.

Then they got mad when I told them to stop doing background checks because "we were just trying to help you and now you blame us. Sorry we care about you and we didn't want you to get hurt, that's what we get for caring?". I get that they probably come from a good place and have good intentions of actually helping me but AITA for telling them to stop with the investigations?

Variable 5
Apr 17, 2007
We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.
Grimey Drawer

woosh, right?

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for being upset that my sister started a fight with mom on my birthday?

quote:

I hosted a small dinner for my birthday. The dinner was going really well and everybody was having a good time when she mom started to talk about her friends. My sister used to date the son of her best friend and she ended up talking about his recent promotion. My sister clearly didn't like it and asked her why she was bringing this up. Mom said she was just making small talk and my sister told her to stop trying to bring up her ex. Mom defended herself and said she couldn't possibly stop talking about her closest friend and her son just because she had broken up with him. My sister then told mom to stop obsessing over a relationship she had as a teenager.

Mom then called her an idiot for breaking up with him and said sister's girlfriend was a nice girl but she always imagined that she and her ex would end up together. Mom had mispronounced her girlfriend's name and my sister started to yell at mom before her girlfriend calmed her down and they left.

I really hate the my birthday party has been ruined. I had asked them both to not start an argument. My sister knows how mom is and she should have ignored it. Mom would have given up after mentioning him a few times. My mom and sister don't interact a lot and I talked to my sister and told her how upset I was that my birthday ended in an argument again. She told me that she was done keeping the peace and she was going to cut contact with mom. I told her it is crazy to do that and we ended up arguing.

I feel bad because by the end of the conversation my sister was crying and mom has been pretty lovely about her girlfriend. She has been rude to her and refused to learn how to pronounce her name. My mom is pretty stubborn person but that doesn't mean she has to be cut off.

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for reporting a student and ruining his future?

For being a racist, stalker, sex pest? Yeah I think you're good. Dude had ample time to shut up and leave her alone and chose not to do that.

Malcolm Excellent
May 20, 2007

Buglord

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA? My fiancée is mad that I buy my mom gifts

I'm making the noise sideshow bob made when he kept stepping on rakes reading this.

Xakura
Jan 10, 2019

A safety-conscious little mouse!

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for being upset that my sister started a fight with mom on my birthday?

Christ, there are some terrible people in the comments.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA? My fiancée is mad that I buy my mom gifts
Buying Christmas presents for your fiancee and your mother? That's basically incest.

Malcolm Excellent
May 20, 2007

Buglord

Halloween Jack posted:

Buying Christmas presents for your fiancee and your mother? That's basically incest.

He was buying anniversary presents for his mom. It's weird

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
Oh, I misread. Yeah...I don't think giving your mother some candy on Valentine's Day is creepy, but getting her a present for your own anniversary is something else.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
It’s weird to buy someone a gift for someone else’s birthday/anniversary

It would be fine if he bought his mom stuff at random unimportant times throughout the year

Haschel Cedricson
Jan 4, 2006

Brinkmanship

My mom usually gives me a gift certificate for a restaurant for my anniversary, with the implication being it's a date night for my wife and I.

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Its pretty cultural too. I always grew up with anniversaries being a kinda private romantic thing just between the couple. People might wish you a happy anniversary if they know or you mention it but that's about it. But with my wife, she grew up with all anniversaries in the family being family and friend wide events where everyone gets together and gets presents and celebrates. She was quite confused that I wasn't getting my parents anything for their anniversary.

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON
OP shares in the comments that his mom specifically gets upset when he buys a gift for his partner in romantic contexts and gets pouty because he's 'replacing her' so it's absolutely as creepy as it sounds

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
But who will brush mother's hair?

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000



Ultra Carp

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for being upset that my sister started a fight with mom on my birthday?

quote:

My mom is pretty stubborn person but that doesn't mean she has to be cut off.

You say that, but...

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for being upset that my sister started a fight with mom on my birthday?

I wonder how much homophobia OP is just glossing over.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
You'd think it's only homophobia, but some people really do harbor childish fantasies about their kids getting married well into their dotage.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


Mother also refused to learn how to pronounce the girlfriend's name so their could also be racism!

kdrudy
Sep 19, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for being angry that my Boyfriend got my name tattooed on him?

I would love to know how many name tattoos have led to breakups. It's kind of funny to me how often it comes up.

Chloe Jessica
Nov 6, 2021
Pick 2.0
AITA For Following Through With My Ultimatum With My Mom Even Though She Had No Control Over The Situation?

quote:

Throwaway Account

I (32f) have a cousin "Ana" (29f) who I used to get along with very well. I would call her the little sister I never had but always wanted. As teens we promised each other to our MOHs and Godmothers to our children. I thought that we would be close forever until I found out that Ana was pregnant and engaged to my ex-boyfriend, James (33m), five months after we broke up. Ana and James swore up and down that while they had feelings for each other they never acted on it until the day after he and I were officially broken up. They even offered to wait a year later to actually get married so I could have time to process. As if that was supposed to make any of this better.

I was furious and refused Ana's request at being MOH and tossed the invitation. My mom was very understanding at first but since there's a baby involved she wanted me to make peace as she didn't want to cut contact with her deceased sister's only child. My mom ending up going to the ceremony but didn't stay for the reception as she felt like it was a good compromise but I didn't care. I was extremely hurt and didn't speak to my mom for 6 months. Not too long after the wedding there were some complications and Ana lost the baby.

I didn't wish any ill upon the child but I can't say I felt bad about it either and was a disappointment to many people on my maternal side for not rushing to be by Ana's side in the hospital. Over time I re-established a relationship with my mom and even introduced her to my then-fiance-now-husband "Mark" (39m). I had no intentions on telling Ana but I guess my mom told her and she was upset that I choose my SIL to be my MOH and didn't even get an invitation. When I went to visit my maternal grandparents I was ambushed by my mom, Ana and some cousins, and forced to listen to a tearful apology from Ana and be begged for forgiveness. Since my family feels that the world has already punished Ana for her relationship with James the kindest thing I could do was show some mercy.

My mom orchestrated the whole thing and I was pressured into giving her and a verbal invitation but before I left I told my mom that if Ana or James caused any problems that not only would they be dead to me but my mother as well. Fast forward to the reception and Ana and James started getting into an argument because he was drunk and passive-aggressive and had to be shuffled out. It was awkward but we still managed to have a nice time. Since that day I stayed true to my word and haven't spoken to Ana, James, or my mom since.

I am currently pregnant and a week after I made a FB about it my stepmom called me and said that my mom was distraught over the idea of her not having a relationship with her future grandchild AITA?

Chloe Jessica
Nov 6, 2021
Pick 2.0
AITA telling my ex's daughter the truth about why I can't see her anymore

quote:

My ex, Cara , has a sweet, amazing daughter, Layla. I've been in Layla's life since she was 5 (now 14). We've always gotten along super well, and were ridiculously close. Layla has never met her biological father, but considers me her father, and calls me dad. I consider her my daughter.

My ex and I planned to have more children together. Though when we were at least 30 and financially stable. Despite waiting and protection we got a false positive about 2 years ago, when we hadn't started trying yet. About a month after this Cara realised she didn't want any more children. We tried to work it out, but just couldn't because I wanted more children, while Cara didn't. Despite trying to figure it out and marriage counselling, we broke up four months ago.

However, there was a major issue, Layla. I was legally just the mother's ex-boyfriend. My lawyer told me I have no rights to see Layla if Cara disapproves. And Cara took our separation hard. She feels I'm choosing blood over her and Layla (not it at all) and won't let me see her. I've missed them both so much, and not seeing Layla is killing me. But just giving in and going back is a bad idea, according to my therapist anyway.

This is the context to the actual event. Last month Layla showed up at my work all upset, she even skipped school to see me. She was hoping I'd come to see her and felt betrayed that i hadn't. I took her back to school and we talked. She felt abandoned, that her dad (me) didnt love or want her. I ended up telling her the truth. That I love her more than anything, and she'll always be my daughter even if I can't see her. Where I may have crossed the line is explaining how I legally cannot see her anymore without Cara's ok. And that if Cara changes her mind, I'll happily involved in her life. She seemed happier when I dropped her off, but it didn't end well.

A week later Cara called me furious. Apparently Layla had been trying to convince her to let me see her, or even take me back (I didn't ask her to, and did NOT say I wanted Cara back). Since I talked to her apparently she's refused to listen to her mother and been extremely rude and cruel. Layla is basically acting out until Cara lets me see her. Cara wants me to talk to her and end it. As I said to her, I'm happy to tell Layla to stop and be good, but I'm not going to tell her I don't want to see her.

My parents think I'm being unnecessarily cruel to Layla. They say I'm being unfair by involving her in matters between me and Cara, and that for now I should listen to Cara and just end things. My friends have basically said they understand why I'm acting this way, but I shouldn't have given Layla 'false hope'.

I honestly just didn't want her to think I abandoned her or hated her. I love her more than anything. Clearly it hasn't gone well but I just hate the idea of lying to Layla about how I feel. Because I do want to be there for her. But maybe it was just cruel and selfish like everyone is saying. AITA

Edit: from a few messages I've seen since waking up, I think I didn't explain our relationship clear enough. We never married because we just didn't want marriage. It is a regret in retrospect, but we, especially Cara, don't really believe in the idea of marriage. Our break up was difficult. Neither of us really wanted to break up, even though we understood that we weren't compatible anymore. It did come down to me following through and ending it, but Cara did know it was coming. I did NOT blame the break up itself on Cara. Layla doesn't know all the specifics but she knows that I ended it. She also is aware that it is a mutual problem, and I have never acted like it's Cara's fault we aren't together, just me not visiting.

Also, I'd be happy to contribute to Layla financially as well as physically/emotionally. I have been all this time. Cara just isn't letting me.

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
AITA for not choosing to spend my birthday with my kids???

quote:

I(37) am a mom of 4 kids. 2 girls(19 and 14), and 2 boys(16 and 12). My 19 year old daughter and I got into an argument about a week and a half ago over my birthday and now none of my kids will speak to me.

My birthday was on a Friday, and I had planned to spend the entire weekend with my boyfriend because he wanted to treat me since it would be my first birthday that we were together. I didn't hear at all from any of my kids besides the causal text the whole week and I assumed they probably weren't planning on seeing me or had forgotten. My 19 year old was usually the one to plan my birthdays after I divorced their dad 2 years ago, but I didn't hear from her so I made my plans and stuck with them.

On Friday I still didn't get a single happy birthday text from my kids(this made me a little sad) but again I just assumed that teenagers will be teenagers and they were busy(they told me they were staying at their dad's this weekend). My bf picked me up from work and drove me home so I could change into something nicer because we had plans to go out to dinner.

When we got to my apartment and walked in the door the lights suddenly turned on and my kids jumped out and yelled: SURPRISE! Turns out they hadn't forgotten and all 4 of my kids were there and they had decorated my apartment with all types of balloons and decorations. I was so happy that they hadn't forgotten and my 19 year old gave me a big hug and said she was sorry they made me think they had forgot.

I gave them all big hugs and kisses for being so sweet to me, but when I told them about my bf and I's dinner plans my kids were upset that I wasn't staying. I apologized and told them that I had made plans because I didn't think we were doing anything together. My 19 year old requested to move the party to the next night, but I told them I couldn't because I had plans for the entire weekend with my bf.

They then asked if they could at least go to dinner with us and I told them no on account that my bf does not like children and him and my 19 year old do not get along so this would be very awkward. At this point my 19 year old got very upset and started to argue with my bf for "stealing me away" on my birthday and also at me "for not even wanting to spend time with them."

I tried to tell them that it was my birthday and I was allowed to spend it how I wanted, and I got to spend it with them every year and that this year was special. My 19 year old again started to yell and by then my bf stepped in and told her to stop acting like a brat and then all of my kids started yelling at us.

We ended up leaving and going to dinner, and I did spend the weekend with him, but my kids are very mad at this and are now staying exclusively with their dad for the time being. :(

Was it so wrong to want to spend my birthday how I wanted to?

Edit: You all do not understand how the dynamic between my children works. My 19 year old is like their "ring-leader" and they follow what she says. She did not like my bf from the beginning before he ever could have done anything to warrant her dislike of him. She pulled mean pranks on him at the beginning by convincing all of her siblings to call my bf "Fat Matt" behind his back. Of course when he found out about this he was upset and felt incredibly disrespected.

Edit: my bf is 31 since y'all want to know. He does respect that I have kids. He just does not want children, and I am done having kids so that's why it isn't a problem for us.

Edit: okay I get that you all have made up your mind on me, and that's fine because I did post on here, but please know that you all do not know everything, only a little part of my life. When I posted this is asked if I was TA because I didn't choose to stay with them, but many if you have started to attack me for my dating life and I think that is unfair. I would never let someone dangerous around my children.

I was in contact with my kids the week before my birthday, but they never asked or inquired about my birthday plans. I realized a little later I should have told them I was going to be gone that weekend, but I thought it would be fine because they were spending the week with their dad. They all have keys to my place and they are never there alone for more than a day, or so, plus my 16 and 19 yo are usually there with their younger siblings.

I should have never posted on here. At the end of the day it is always on the mother to be the angel and always make perfect decisions. My ex-husband isn't a saint either. He didn't contact me about my kids or if they were going to spend time with me for my birthday.

Thank you all for your wonderful insight on my parenting. Please stop messaging me to call me names.
Estranged parent walkin'.

Punkinhead
Apr 2, 2015

Personally I wouldn't want my mom to cancel any plans she made just because I was dumb enough to try a surprise party in TYOOL 2021

caterpillaropera
Aug 31, 2004

Who's gonna teach you to bump and grind?
Buglord
AITA for “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes” about Jorts?

quote:

[EDITED TO ADD:]This post is about 2 cats who are named Jean and Jorts, cat tax HERE : https://imgur.com/a/SbU5R4u

We have two workplace cats in one area of our worksite. They add value to the worksite, we all love the cats and the worksite cat presence is not the issue. One of the cats (Jean) is a tortoiseshell cat we have had for years. The other cat (Jorts) is a large orange cat and a recent addition.

Jorts is just… kind of a simple guy. For example, Jorts can’t open a door even when it’s ajar— he shoves it whether he is going in or out, so often he closes the door he is trying to go through. This means he is often trapped inside the place he was trying to exit and meows until he is rescued.

My colleague Pam (not her real name) has been spending a lot of time trying to teach Jorts things. The doors thing is the main example — it’s a real issue because the cats are fed in a closet and Jorts keeps pushing the door closed. Jean can actually open all the other interior doors since they are a lever type knob, but she can’t open this particular door if she is trapped INSIDE the closet.

Tortie Jean is very nice to poor orange Jorts, and she is kept busy letting him out of rooms he has trapped himself in, so this seems easy to resolve. I put down a door stop.

Pam then said I was depriving Jorts of the “chance to learn” and kept removing the doorstop. She set up a series of special learning activities for Jorts, and tried to put these tasks on the whiteboard of daily team tasks (I erased them). She thinks we need to teach him how to clean himself better and how to get out of minor barriers like when he gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. I love Jorts but he’s just dumb af and we can’t change that.

Don’t get me wrong— watching her try to teach Jorts how to walk through a door is hilarious, but Jean got locked in the closet twice last week. Yesterday I installed a cat cutout thing in the door and Pam started getting really huffy. I made a gentle joke about “you can’t expect Jean’s tortoiseshell smarts from orange cat Jorts” which made Pam FURIOUS. She started crying and left the hallway, then sent an email to the group (including volunteers) and went home early.

In her email Pam said I was “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes by saying orange cats are dumb” and is demanding a racial sensitivity training before she will return. I don’t think it’s relevant but just in case, Pam is a white person in a mostly minority staff (and no she is not ginger/does not have red hair).

TL;DR: AITA for ‘enforcing an ethnic stereotype’ by joking that orange cats are often dumb?

I badly needed this palate cleanser, especially since I have a Jorts in my own house.:3: :3:

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Chloe Jessica
Nov 6, 2021
Pick 2.0
goddamn liberals

what exactly does she expect cat racial sensitivity training to do to combat actual racism

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