r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

Pookah posted:

I'm guessing he didn't have this weird 'picky eating' thing when he was living with them, he only became 'difficult' when he got married or just moved away and this is them asserting that They are the ones who decide whether his gut issues are real.
And they have decided that they are not real.

I'm sure this is right. The more I read this thread though, especially when I see someone like this who's going through what I have but without the support I had... it's just loving unrelatable to nigh-incomprehensible to me how dysfunctional people really are. Just with how lovely the world is, the need to push away and gently caress with people who otherwise would nominally care and support you, is just utterly alien. It makes me realize how incredibly lucky I am, apparently.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 17:46

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# ? May 28, 2024 05:59

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for not choosing to spend my birthday with my kids???

Estranged parent walkin'.

i love her bitter end and lack of reflection or responsibility. "i should have never come here" (because y'all didn't validate me like I wanted)

Also the way she calls her oldest kid the ringleader, combined with everything else, tells me that her oldest kid has been acting as the house mom for a while.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 17:47

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my MIL that my husband did not like her Christmas gift?

My favorite part of this one is that the parent's threat to stop sending gifts is... exactly what their son has been asking of them for years, to stop loving sending it to him.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 17:50

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for telling relatives to either step up or shut up?

quote:

My father is in his 80s. A couple of years ago, he had a fall and while he's recovered some, he'll never be able to walk without assistance. He isn't paralyzed, but cannot handle anything from the waist down on his own. He can't use the bathroom alone, needs help bathing, etc. After leaving the hospital, he was sent to a rehabilitation center. After several meetings and evaluations, it was determined that my father would likely never be able to live alone again, he'd always need round-the-clock care as well as attending physical therapy to keep his strength up. This was very hard on him and his mental health has declined since, but he also refuses to speak to a therapist.

My sister and I both work long hours, have children of our own and neither of our houses are really equipped for him to live in. Even if we could get approved for a nurse for the hours we and our spouses work, it would not be an ideal situation. My father has even said he doesn't want to live with us, he wants to be in his own place. He doesn't understand why that's not possible, despite several people explaining it gently (us, doctors, social workers, etc). We tried to look into getting him a new apartment (he had to give it up when he initially went to rehab) along with financing through the state for round the clock care but financially, we would still have to pay too much out of pocket. My father gets social security, has a pension and has savings, but it still would only cover it for a few years and then we'd be back to square one. The only thing all three of us can afford is the nursing home. It's a great place, we vetted it a lot and check in on him regularly. I understand the stigma, but it truly is the safest place for him.

My father is still miserable and will make that clear. I often get calls from family members (his siblings, my cousins, etc) asking me why I won't help him. I explain they don't know everything and even when I explain, they claim if I really cared, I'd work it out. Recently, my aunt reached out and said my father had called asking if he could move in with them. She was very upset and asked why I wasn't doing more. I laid it all out for her and she still insisted that if I really cared, I'd do more. She then went onto say that my father worked two jobs my entire childhood to provide, I should break my back to make it work. I got upset and told her to "put up or shut up". She was flabbergasted and I continued, saying if she was really a caring sister, she would've helped more than guilt us over the past few years. So until she was ready to give money or emotional support, she could go to hell.

My dad's side of the family is livid with me. AITA?

# ? Dec 15, 2021 17:50

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

It reminds me of when I was a kid and my grandmother gifted me a gold crucifix necklace for my Communion. I have a severe allergy to precious metals and wearing the necklace for more than a few minutes would have me break out in hives and a fever. My father would still insist I "try it on, it's probably fine now" every other month for three years, always insisting that I only didn't want to wear it because I hate his mother.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 17:52

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Pookah posted:

I'm guessing he didn't have this weird 'picky eating' thing when he was living with them, he only became 'difficult' when he got married or just moved away and this is them asserting that They are the ones who decide whether his gut issues are real.
And they have decided that they are not real.

I had a friend with celiac disease and when he got diagnosed when he was like, 17, after years of his parents deciding he had no problems at all and all his mental side effects were just laziness, they deliberately started making sure all the food he had access to had gluten in it and forbid him from buying his own food, to the point of melting down if someone managed to sneak the poor guy something gluten free.

Yeah they haven't seen him since his 18th birthday, funny how that works.

EDIT: 'It's normal to feel tired all the time! If you can't focus on your homework you're just lazy! I can't believe you're pooping so much just to spite us!!'

PetraCore fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Dec 15, 2021

# ? Dec 15, 2021 17:55

Computer viking: May 30, 2011; Now with less breakage.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

It reminds me of when I was a kid and my grandmother gifted me a gold crucifix necklace for my Communion. I have a severe allergy to precious metals and wearing the necklace for more than a few minutes would have me break out in hives and a fever. My father would still insist I "try it on, it's probably fine now" every other month for three years, always insisting that I only didn't want to wear it because I hate his mother.

I believe you (it'd be a really pointless thing to make up), but uh you're allergic to gold? I'd love to see the biochemistry of that.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 17:56

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Computer viking posted:

I believe you (it'd be a really pointless thing to make up), but uh you're allergic to gold? I'd love to see the biochemistry of that.

Duergar have racial weakness towards gold, but not mithril

# ? Dec 15, 2021 17:59

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Computer viking posted:

I believe you (it'd be a really pointless thing to make up), but uh you're allergic to gold? I'd love to see the biochemistry of that.

Maybe it was just gold plating? Seems like the shittier the alloy the more likely you'll be allergic to it.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 17:59

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

It's not uncommon. My mom rashes out at silver. And somehow managed to develop a peanut allergy in her mid 70s. The human body is stupid and poorly designed.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:00

Xakura: Jan 10, 2019; A safety-conscious little mouse!

Computer viking posted:

I believe you (it'd be a really pointless thing to make up), but uh you're allergic to gold? I'd love to see the biochemistry of that.

Several in my family are.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:03

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

I think a lot of the time, the parents denying their own children's allergies/intolerances is rooted in the need for them, the Parents to be in charge and for their children, no matter how old they get, to bow down and accept their parents ruling.
By asserting a version of reality different to the one they, the parents, have decided is correct, the children are insulting and attacking their parents rightful authority.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:04

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

From what I've been able to google it's not really well understood. Most people who are allergic to precious metal jewelry are actually just allergic to Nickel and thus lower purity gold/silver jewelry will result in more severe reactions. Some people show symptoms even when touching pure gold though so lol

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:06

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Wow, all the vampires and werewolves outing themselves today.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:08

Computer viking: May 30, 2011; Now with less breakage.

Silver is understandable, that's sort of reactive - and the sulfides or chlorides or whatever that form on it will probably slightly dissolve in sweat and soak into your skin, too. Looking at it, the typical alloying metals for gold are silver and copper and "other", so who knows - there are enough plausible suspects. I wouldn't be surprised if there's even some nickel in the really cheap alloys.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:09

Computer viking: May 30, 2011; Now with less breakage.

PinheadSlim posted:

From what I've been able to google it's not really well understood. Most people who are allergic to precious metal jewelry are actually just allergic to Nickel and thus lower purity gold/silver jewelry will result in more severe reactions. Some people show symptoms even when touching pure gold though so lol

Huh, that's fascinating. I guess it only takes a handful atoms to trigger an immune response, though, so it could be some sort of reaction that's too slow to be of much interest to chemistry?

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:13

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

I used to have a really weird thing where occasionally all my silver jewellery would turn black overnight. It'd be completely untarnished for weeks or months, then BLAM totally black.
My mother used to have the same weirdness, but it stopped happening sometime in her late 20s/early 30s.
My own silver weirdness stopped happening at pretty much the same age, so we assume it's some kind of hormonal/body chemistry thing

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:24

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pookah posted:

I used to have a really weird thing where occasionally all my silver jewellery would turn black overnight. It'd be completely untarnished for weeks or months, then BLAM totally black.
My mother used to have the same weirdness, but it stopped happening sometime in her late 20s/early 30s.
My own silver weirdness stopped happening at pretty much the same age, so we assume it's some kind of hormonal/body chemistry thing

You and your family are tainted, and when in the presence of holy metals your evil will become apparent.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:27

Dik Hz: Feb 22, 2004; Fun with Science

Heavy metals complex with a lot of biochemically active stuff (proteins, lipids, nucleic acids, carbohydrates, etc), and that complex could be what's triggering the immune response.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:27

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling relatives to either step up or shut up?

I feel like families should discuss this sort of thing growing up. My mom and I both know what to do if either of us ends up in a vegetative state or otherwise have such a non-existent quality of life that it actively detracts from the life of everyone around them -- that's no what we wanna do to each other and life ain't seem worth living when conditions get bad enough. Being alive is conditionally cool and good and everyone should sort out and let it be known what conditions they are unwilling to exist anymore under.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:28

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

Biplane posted:

You and your family are tainted, and when in the presence of holy metals your evil will become apparent.

Yeah, this checks out.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:29

Computer viking: May 30, 2011; Now with less breakage.

Dik Hz posted:

Heavy metals complex with a lot of biochemically active stuff (proteins, lipids, nucleic acids, carbohydrates, etc), and that complex could be what's triggering the immune response.

Gold is stereotypically inert, but yeah it seems like some tiny amounts can dissolve after prolonged skin contact, and there are indeed some well documented cases of pure gold causing dermatitis.

The relevant journals are somehow not included in the otherwise broad access at work, though - I'd have to dig up my university account to find any more than a one sentence summary. Interesting either way- I wonder if it's worth looking into how it happens to try and find a less toxic route to dissolving gold from ore and waste. (Probably not, unless you make the alternatives illegal or way more expensive).

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:48

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Grimdude posted:

Jesus Christ. The PTSD on this one.

I moved into a place that had bedbugs once, and I remember trying to sleep there a couple times after finding out about it. (I signed the lease, unpacked everything, and after three days woke up covered in bites. Had no money since I just put down a month plus security deposit) Turns out they were from the downstairs unit and very much present before I ever signed. Landlord knew, but I had no proof so he just acted like it was my problem. Court was a no-go either.

I spent hours laying there, imagining a bug on me, seeing one occasionally on the wall, itching at nothing. I'm laying there on a bed covered in plastic with my eyes wide open thinking they're gonna start parachuting from the ceiling next. I lost drat near everything I owned, got none of my money back and had to live in a hotel for two weeks.

Cockroaches though? I would have slept in my car if I ever felt one in bed. This girl is straight up being abused because there's no way she's sleeping well.

There�s more in the comments that hints there is serious abuse/hording involved. Dad doesn�t let repairs or exterminators visit because �he doesn�t like strangers in his home.�

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:50

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

Silver reacts specifically to sulfur compounds so it makes sense that it�d tarnish more or less depending on diet.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:54

Xakura: Jan 10, 2019; A safety-conscious little mouse!

Khanstant posted:

I feel like families should discuss this sort of thing growing up. My mom and I both know what to do if either of us ends up in a vegetative state or otherwise have such a non-existent quality of life that it actively detracts from the life of everyone around them -- that's no what we wanna do to each other and life ain't seem worth living when conditions get bad enough. Being alive is conditionally cool and good and everyone should sort out and let it be known what conditions they are unwilling to exist anymore under.

Grampa needs a nursing home? Welp, time for the old �ttestupa

# ? Dec 15, 2021 18:55

A HUNGRY MOUTH: Nov 3, 2006; date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss; Nap Ghost

I couldn't pretend to know the mechanisms involved but gold atoms don't have to chemically react in order to occupy receptors or binding sites. They can be inert and still trigger a response.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:07

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Lets have a lighter story

AITA For Not Reading my Friend's Fan Fiction?

quote:

This is possibly the most ridiculous scenario I have ever wound up in.

I have a friend named Cathy. She is a writer who enjoys creating short stories and Fan fictions and posting them online. For a few years now (2-3 years) she has asked me to read over her work and suggest any edits. I am normally very happy to do this!

Two weeks ago Cathy asked me if I could look over her new fan fiction. I said yes and she sent it over later that day.

This FF was... different though. Her usual realm of FF is Harry Potter related and not explicit. This one was about Santa...and...very explicit. At first, I thought it was a joke. So I texted her and asked if she was serious. She just responded with a question mark. I read a bit further into the story and just could not do it.

Everyone is entitled to their preferences and while I would never judge someone for liking something I don't, I found it incredibly hard (no pun intended) to read the story. So I very politely and gently told my friend that she might need someone else to read the story. She became defensive very quickly and asked why. I told her the truth, that I just didn't feel comfortable reading it.

She now claims I am kink shaming her and says I have broken her trust and her desire to share any further work with me. I genuinely thought I was in the right until I spoke to another mutual friend who said Cathy had told her what happened and that this friend agreed I was being "a bit of a judgmental cow".

I have three young kids and it is 9 days until Christmas Eve. Santa is a common topic in the house right now and the images in this story are not what I want to be picturing when my kids are running around the house singing "here comes Santa Claus".

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:10

Computer viking: May 30, 2011; Now with less breakage.

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

I couldn't pretend to know the mechanisms involved but gold atoms don't have to chemically react in order to occupy receptors or binding sites. They can be inert and still trigger a response.

That's a fair point, but it's still interesting how those gold atoms got pulled loose from the bulk metal and into the body in the first place.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:16

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Xakura posted:

Grampa needs a nursing home? Welp, time for the old �ttestupa

Dag, that's a grim concept, I had never heard of it. Tee Se Itse, I guess. No I don't speak Finnish, just have heard / read the lyrics to the song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv3MG-3gjks

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:17

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

The Glumslinger posted:

"a bit of a judgmental cow"

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:18

Uncle Enzo: Apr 28, 2008; I always wanted to be a Wizard

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

I couldn't pretend to know the mechanisms involved but gold atoms don't have to chemically react in order to occupy receptors or binding sites. They can be inert and still trigger a response.

I think that's bullshit. I'll be the judge of what allergies people do or don't have.

I'm going to mail Pope Corky the IX a huge gold bar, just to really drive home my point!

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:20

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Yeah, sever with Cathy and anybody that supports her.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:22

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Let people do whatever they want in the company of other consenting adults, and leave out anyone who does not consent to participate.

it's really loving simple!!!

E:

Uncle Enzo posted:

I'm going to mail Pope Corky the IX a huge gold bar, just to really drive home my point!

I, uh, would also like to express my allergy to that particular metal.

Zulily Zoetrope fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Dec 15, 2021

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:24

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

I'm allergic to hundred dollar bills

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:38

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

The Glumslinger posted:

Lets have a lighter story

AITA For Not Reading my Friend's Fan Fiction?

It�s like a more pg inane version of that white girl who demanded to share her and her boyfriends race-bdsm kink with a black girl and said was kink shaming when the black girl didn�t want to hear that her �friend� got her rocks off re-enacting like an actual historical slavery.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:42

RoboRodent: Sep 19, 2012

Sisal Two-Step posted:

I'm allergic to hundred dollar bills

I think they're allergic to me.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:42

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

It reminds me of when I was a kid and my grandmother gifted me a gold crucifix necklace for my Communion. I have a severe allergy to precious metals and wearing the necklace for more than a few minutes would have me break out in hives and a fever. My father would still insist I "try it on, it's probably fine now" every other month for three years, always insisting that I only didn't want to wear it because I hate his mother.

I've heard of an allergy to nickle but never gold. That's an unfortunate lottery win.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:51

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

It�s like a more pg inane version of that white girl who demanded to share her and her boyfriends race-bdsm kink with a black girl and said was kink shaming when the black girl didn�t want to hear that her �friend� got her rocks off re-enacting like an actual historical slavery.

Wow, was that from AITA?

# ? Dec 15, 2021 19:51

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

lol nice thread title

# ? Dec 15, 2021 20:00

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# ? May 28, 2024 05:59

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Wow, was that from AITA?

What made it even weirder was that one of the race-kink couple (I think it was the guy?) was Black.

# ? Dec 15, 2021 20:01

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