[UFOs] watch Mellon start an intergalactic war

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [UFOs] watch Mellon start an intergalactic war

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(Thread IKs: sharknado slashfic)

Petey: Nov 26, 2005; For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Inspector Hound posted:

me cry 4 u

# ? Dec 22, 2021 13:27

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# ? May 28, 2024 00:37

Petey: Nov 26, 2005; For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Wheeee posted:

Galileo Project accidentally posted a pdf of their project plan draft, then pulled it down

but this is the internet, so here's the pdf

and here's the pdf in screenshot format in case that gets pulled:

no social/cultural science section? boo. BOO

let me talk to the aliens avi

pounding on the glass

LET ME TALK TO THE ALIENS

# ? Dec 22, 2021 14:06

fanfic insert: Nov 4, 2009

skewetoo posted:

I'm currently bestowing degrees and PhDs in:
UAPs
Aliens (social and biology)
Astral plane studies
Cryptozoology
Deep earth (and water) studies
Remote viewing

At my advancement institute operating from my basement

My YouTube feed is 80% samsquanch and their Himalayan cousin the yeti, so I'll take one in cryptozoology tyvm.

# ? Dec 22, 2021 14:12

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

me ask elders about explain frewil beter
elders say me explain like this
god give u eg
eg is there eg already created eg exist
u use frewil decide what do about eg
u can make choice boil eg eat eg
u can make choice bake eg eat eg
u can make choice u leve eg but eg get roten but eg stil there
u can make choice u not eat other animal so u throw eg away eg get roten somewere else but eg stil exist u wil smel eg eventualy
eventualy u must decide and deal with eg
time colide is like eg
god make time colide
time colide is there time colide already created time colide exist
eventualy u must decide what u want do with time colide and deal with it
u can not change what god created but with frewil u must decide what u do with time colide ok
me say eat eg because eg good for u b4 get roten then eg very bad 4 u

# ? Dec 22, 2021 14:26

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

or, to translate for you Earthling simpletons:

Give eg me give eat eg me eat eg give me eat eg give me you

# ? Dec 22, 2021 14:27

skewetoo: Mar 30, 2003

I can believe that earth is so horny it's causing galactic sized problems for the federation. Need a statement about horny from pnuts

# ? Dec 22, 2021 14:37

D-Pad: Jun 28, 2006

Lmao that the USG held back disclosure because the prudes in charge didn't think we could handle the knowledge that aliens gave us massive hogs

# ? Dec 22, 2021 14:52

SavageGentleman: Feb 28, 2010; When she finds love may it always stay true.
This I beg for the second wish I made too.; Fallen Rib

skewetoo posted:

I can believe that earth is so horny it's causing galactic sized problems for the federation. Need a statement about horny from pnuts

I think they mentioned in a tweet that they themelves have developed beyond horniness (they are more into telepathic cuddling and do not often use their genitals), but that there are quite alot of Federaion members that still can and do get horny - so there's still hope for "first contact"!

# ? Dec 22, 2021 14:55

Pryor on Fire: May 14, 2013; they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_FXE2Hxxic

# ? Dec 22, 2021 14:59

Rudeboy Detective: Apr 28, 2011

I think that horniness is a sort of great filter for species with regards to first contact and access to the greater wonders of our universe. Horniness is weird and probably indicates a low level of development on both the physical and psycho-astral planes.

# ? Dec 22, 2021 15:16

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

au contraire, to deny horniness is to deny an integral part of the self. it's the hosed up unhealthy constellation of ideas in orbit around the hornt star that is a part of the major problems of human society

# ? Dec 22, 2021 15:23

Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

neutral milf hotel posted:

only true believers will be able to see the UAP

https://twitter.com/sandiawisdom/status/1473600719408218113

I see them
I see the peanutties

# ? Dec 22, 2021 16:43

neutral milf hotel: Oct 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

*p'nti crew beam me aboard their space ship to take me to their home world*

me: oh wow, this is so cool! so.... show me the secret technology that makes my dong bigger

jrooti: *long pause* get the gently caress off my ship

# ? Dec 22, 2021 16:46

goochtit: Nov 2, 2021

valp posted:

Evidence suggests that life emerged on Earth prior to 3.7 billion years ago. The Cambrian explosion happened 500 million years ago. The idea of hiding is farcical; the Earth has been advertising its ability to create intelligent life for roughly a quarter of the lifespan of our 14 billion year old universe. At any point in the past 3.7 billion years some alien could have come along and easily sterilized the place. The idea that we are hidden, that we were ever at any point hidden, is laughable.

And sure, you can get around this. Maybe all aliens are benevolent and don't sterilize? But then it's not a dark forest now it is it, it's a bright and friendly forest. Or maybe they only sterilize once civilization develops? But that's not really rational, a truly rational resident of the Dark Forest would see the threat and sterilize immediately. Or I guess you could argue that maybe every single species evolved simultaneously and as a result we're on roughly even footing. I guess that's not impossible?

The dark forest theory also assumes that all civilizations will forever remain bound to the planet of their origin, rather than, say, uploading into a matryoshka brain, or living in hollowed out asteroids that silently move in semi-random patterns, or in distributed colonies scattered randomly across thousands of light years.

Really though, the strongest evidence against the Dark Forest is that the aliens are already here, and they're having telepathic conversations and phasing through matter in ways that strongly imply that the game being played here is one that transcends our understanding of physical matter.

valp posted:

Gene Roddenberry, the creator of star trek, attended channeling sessions led by Ms. Schlemmer and "Tom", where they channeled the "Council of Nine", a group of nine aliens who claim to rule this region of the universe and who are responsible for the current earth quarantine. Supposedly "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" was inspired by this council of nine. These sessions were collected in "The Only Planet of Choice".

Gene Roddenberry asked some boring questions about first contact that I will ignore in favor of sharing with you these excerpts that describe how humanity doomed itself by being too horny.

[big dick excerpts]

Short version: Earth is crowded with too many souls because instead of ascending to higher realms everyone keeps reincarnating here to gently caress more. Atlantis fell because they made loving feel too good. Lots of the citizens of Atlantis are now reincarnating as dolphins because dolphins can gently caress all day without destroying the world like Atlantis did. This is the legacy of the human race.

Personally there's a lot of channelings I'd recommend before this one, but it does have the advantage of clarity and simplicity.

The Horny Hypothesis is now my favorite for why we aren't in open communication with aliens

"Jrooti, we keep breaking quarantine to tell these humans great cosmological secrets, but to them it's all butt stuff! We should just give up."

might even explain why they chose a bunch of kids to telepathically share images of environmental doom with

# ? Dec 22, 2021 16:48

Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

There's no way in this whole freaky universe that we are the only species that likes to bone down

Our appendages aren't even the weirdest on our own planet

Stop slutshaming us, galactic council we know where you go when work lets out

Down for some earth leave to... watch the monkeys.

# ? Dec 22, 2021 16:57

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

Barry Foster posted:

me ask elders about explain frewil beter
elders say me explain like this
god give u eg
eg is there eg already created eg exist
u use frewil decide what do about eg
u can make choice boil eg eat eg
u can make choice bake eg eat eg
u can make choice u leve eg but eg get roten but eg stil there
u can make choice u not eat other animal so u throw eg away eg get roten somewere else but eg stil exist u wil smel eg eventualy
eventualy u must decide and deal with eg
time colide is like eg
god make time colide
time colide is there time colide already created time colide exist
eventualy u must decide what u want do with time colide and deal with it
u can not change what god created but with frewil u must decide what u do with time colide ok
me say eat eg because eg good for u b4 get roten then eg very bad 4 u

Honey? I think this bottle of soap is past its due date

# ? Dec 22, 2021 17:24

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

me cee pisstape israel

# ? Dec 22, 2021 17:34

Rudeboy Detective: Apr 28, 2011

SniperWoreConverse posted:

au contraire, to deny horniness is to deny an integral part of the self. it's the hosed up unhealthy constellation of ideas in orbit around the hornt star that is a part of the major problems of human society

Okay, your statement checks out. Horny is galactic.

...Or, a single faction within The Federation is exploiting Earth-horny.

# ? Dec 22, 2021 17:44

Azathoth: Apr 3, 2001

The very first UFO abduction case literally featured the abductee having sex with the aliens, it's been here from the beginning.

# ? Dec 22, 2021 17:45

The Saucer Hovers: May 16, 2005

Rudeboy Detective posted:

Okay, your statement checks out. Horny is galactic.

...Or, a single faction within The Federation is exploiting Earth-horny.

this the vril/holographic doctor spaceopera crossover ive been waiting for

# ? Dec 22, 2021 17:48

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

Happy December Aitee everyone!

# ? Dec 22, 2021 17:49

poisonpill: Nov 8, 2009; The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.

Zeus was an alien

That golden rain was a UFO

# ? Dec 22, 2021 18:04

Failson: Sep 2, 2018; Fun Shoe

The problems of horny are universal:

"That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and took them as wives of all which they chose." - Genesis 6:2

Anyway, here are some rogue planets:

https://twitter.com/BadAstronomer/status/1473693157388914693

# ? Dec 22, 2021 18:36

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

Failson posted:

The problems of horny are universal:

"That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and took them as wives of all which they chose." - Genesis 6:2

Anyway, here are some rogue planets:

https://twitter.com/BadAstronomer/status/1473693157388914693

seems less than ideal cloud

# ? Dec 22, 2021 18:43

Rudeboy Detective: Apr 28, 2011

It'd be pretty neat to collect data on some rogues. Geologically, how are they different than planets that are star-bound? I wonder if the initial heat from planetary formation is enough for anything neat/complex to happen once they're cast into the void.

Are they full of sexy shapeshifting alien blobs like in that one episode of Star Trek: Enterprise?

Edit: wangus

Rudeboy Detective has issued a correction as of 20:51 on Dec 22, 2021

# ? Dec 22, 2021 18:43

my bony fealty: Oct 1, 2008

how do they find that poo poo

# ? Dec 22, 2021 18:54

skewetoo: Mar 30, 2003

roaming planets pretty good place for secret base hqs

# ? Dec 22, 2021 18:57

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

where is the meat planet

# ? Dec 22, 2021 19:05

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

Rah! posted:

where is the meat planet

spoken like a true crow

# ? Dec 22, 2021 19:07

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

if the simulation breaks down sufficiently to allow it i am absolutely making a meat planet with pluto at the core and none of you can stop me

# ? Dec 22, 2021 19:07

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

Bilirubin posted:

spoken like a true crow

i uhh

i just want to look at it

# ? Dec 22, 2021 19:09

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql8gHL6BBKU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-ataAyW9lM&t=2533s

# ? Dec 22, 2021 19:18

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

don't usually go in for pop but i found more music that fits the thread:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V17JN76uxc

# ? Dec 22, 2021 19:41

blatman: May 10, 2009; 14 inc dont mez

Rah! posted:

i uhh

i just want to look at it

its somewhat moist

# ? Dec 22, 2021 20:08

Wheeee: Mar 11, 2001; When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

Riot Bimbo posted:

don't usually go in for pop but i found more music that fits the thread:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V17JN76uxc

good song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suG-c_i2fBQ

# ? Dec 22, 2021 20:41

Inspector Hound: Jul 14, 2003

https://twitter.com/futurism/status/1473391195569147911?t=Iab-aj1OGM96DW5Hi3-zZg&s=19

It's totally aliens

# ? Dec 22, 2021 20:46

Azathoth: Apr 3, 2001

Didn't one of the Venera probes also detect life but because none of the other tests showed it they basically said "must be a mistake"?

# ? Dec 22, 2021 20:49

Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

I'm ready. Enough with the teasing already

# ? Dec 22, 2021 21:04

valp: Aug 31, 2018

Wheeee posted:

what�s a good starting point for someone steeped in bitter cynicism who doesn�t believe but would like to

Best alien channeling is the Law of One / Ra material, literally everyone agrees on this. Other than that here's a good list of esoteric books to pick from:
https://montalk.net/reading

I read a shitload of weird stuff because I love weird stuff, and I post anything funny I find here. But the serious books all say the exact same thing, which is that spirituality/psychic powers/magic/ect is an internal experience. You will never find any proof outside yourself.

The internal nature of these phenomenon mean that doubt and cynicism only block you from having these experiences if you let them. If you say "I am a cynical person, and like all cynical people I fully trust the government and scientists when they tell me only the material world is real" then nothing will happen. If you say "I am a cynical person, I don't fully trust anyone or anything, not even myself" then it will be possible for things to happen. Believing to the core of your being that psychic powers are real, and being so cynical and full of doubt that you are fully open to the possibility of psychic powers being real and literally everything you know and believe about reality being wrong; both attitudes are fundamentally identical and will yield identical results.

A sustained, authentic interest that can be translated into action (reading books, doing psychedelic drugs, monro tapes, meditation, ect...) and sufficient doubt/belief is all that is needed.

# ? Dec 22, 2021 21:14

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# ? May 28, 2024 00:37

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

Azathoth posted:

Didn't one of the Venera probes also detect life but because none of the other tests showed it they basically said "must be a mistake"?

Yeah i thought i read about that.

They also detected phosphine in the atmosphere a couple years ago, which could be a sign of life. And then after initial interest and articles about it, other scientists went NO IT MUST BE A MISTAKE and then NO ITS SULFUR DIOXIDE NOT PHOSPHINE and then everyone moved on lol

# ? Dec 22, 2021 21:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [UFOs] watch Mellon start an intergalactic war

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