r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I may have missed it, does the fish have an open mouth?

# ? Dec 27, 2021 15:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 23:37

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I may have missed it, does the fish have an open mouth?

No but you really don�t want to know about the tradition on the other end of Canada

# ? Dec 27, 2021 15:16

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

PancakeTransmission posted:

The gently caress is a purple pill?

Morphine sulfate

https://youtu.be/oMhd_SZtLLE

# ? Dec 27, 2021 15:23

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Goblin person owns and I commend their courage to admit to the kind of thing people do in their most private moments

# ? Dec 27, 2021 15:27

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

QuarkJets posted:

This is 2 days old so sorry if it got posted already, I am bad at threadsearch

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

This owns

# ? Dec 27, 2021 15:52

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Flavahbeast posted:

Sounds like she was just unworthy. The ritual exists for a reason

# ? Dec 27, 2021 16:04

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

QuarkJets posted:

This is 2 days old so sorry if it got posted already, I am bad at threadsearch

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

shoo shoo goblin goblin

# ? Dec 27, 2021 16:30

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

QuarkJets posted:

This is 2 days old so sorry if it got posted already, I am bad at threadsearch

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

You go, goblin dude :3:

# ? Dec 27, 2021 16:33

mkvltra: Nov 1, 2020

I finally understand the title of this thread! My sister read aloud the entire Jorts / Jean saga after dinner on Christmas eve to my entire family, it was uproarious!

# ? Dec 27, 2021 17:24

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

QuarkJets posted:

This is 2 days old so sorry if it got posted already, I am bad at threadsearch

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

Ngl this sounds fun

# ? Dec 27, 2021 17:40

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Isn't Mal�rt the internet story of that place where all the dragons and unicorns live and gently caress?

You're thinking Malatora, easy mistake.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 17:45

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Goblinning is all fun until your partner finally finishes customizng their character and recieves the tutorial quest.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 17:47

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

vdarknight posted:

With regards to the chili lube thing - I know someone who thought to have toothpaste in her mouth whilst going down on her husband. Didn't go so well.
Apparently it's not particularly arousing to see your partner with his dick in the sink, swearing profusely.

Tho' I do think it's very, very funny.

Reminds me of the scene in Apocalypto where the village elder plays a prank on the guy struggling with infertility by giving him chili lube.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 17:47

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Hughlander posted:

You're thinking Malatora, easy mistake.

They need to stop naming things like other things. Add a few letters to the alphabet, I don't know. I'm loving tired of this poo poo.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 17:49

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA For Ruining My Husband's Christmas?

quote:

My (F29) husband (M33) is the breadwinner and I'm a sahm. We used to both work but due to medical problems I couldn't keep working. As a result I don't have what they call fun money or money to spend however I want. My husband gives me money only to spend on the house or the kids but that's that. I might borrow money here and there or try to figure something out if I needed essential stuff like hygiene products.

This Christmas my husband gave me $600 dollars as my Christmas gift. I freaked out thinking I now have to get him a decent gift to match his. So I went shopping and got him the most offordable thing on his wish-list which was a $180 dollar pair of sneakers with his favorite color. I didn't show him the gift until we visited his parents house for Christmas and when it was time for gift opening he opened the gift, saw the sneakers and looked extremely extremely upset like he was about to blow up. I asked what's up and he asked why "in the blue hell" I decided to "waste money" and get him sneakers aka: the cheapest gift on his wishlist. I said it's all I could afford and he literally lashed out and said "bullshit! I gave you $600 dollars that's about the right price for a new gaming console and it was right there at the top of my whishlist!".

He said it infront of his parents!! It was so so awkward I felt so horrible I wanted to disappear. But I apologized and said I was sorry but I had other stuff I needed to buy and money wasn't enough. He took it as in I was blaming him for not giving me enough money and picked an argument with me about how wasteful and financially irresponsoble I am otherwise I wouldn't be struggling with money for long. I disagreed and said I don't have a salary due to medical issues not being irresponsible. Also told him he could get the gaming console himself since he has money but he got all dramatic and ranted about how he wouldn't because then he'll be judged for getting anything for himself. His parents tried to get involved but he straightup told me how disappointed he was and said that I ruined his Christmas then went upstairs and avoided talking to me til we got back and the whole argument restarted. he kept repeating that he was disappointed and that I ruined Christmas for him saying "good job screwing up" even after I pointed out how rude it was of him to react like that infront of his parents.

He's wanting an apology atm and still upset about what I did. AITA?

Husband: I gave you $600 as a present so you could use 100% of it on buying me a Present! Why didn't you understand that! I'm angry and you need to apologize for not spending all the money I gave you on me!

# ? Dec 27, 2021 18:04

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Hughlander posted:

AITA For Ruining My Husband's Christmas?

Husband: I gave you $600 as a present so you could use 100% of it on buying me a Present! Why didn't you understand that! I'm angry and you need to apologize for not spending all the money I gave you on me!

Jfc, this one is just depressing.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 18:10

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Hughlander posted:

AITA For Ruining My Husband's Christmas?

Husband: I gave you $600 as a present so you could use 100% of it on buying me a Present! Why didn't you understand that! I'm angry and you need to apologize for not spending all the money I gave you on me!

This is why we fight the war on Christmas

# ? Dec 27, 2021 18:12

Alchenar: Apr 9, 2008

Hughlander posted:

AITA For Ruining My Husband's Christmas?

Husband: I gave you $600 as a present so you could use 100% of it on buying me a Present! Why didn't you understand that! I'm angry and you need to apologize for not spending all the money I gave you on me!

Let me explain my plan to get you to buy me the thing I want with my money so that it's a gift in front of my parents, right before I storm off to sulk in my room. This will make me look good because

# ? Dec 27, 2021 18:18

les enfants Terrific!: Dec 12, 2008

Hughlander posted:

AITA For Ruining My Husband's Christmas?

Husband: I gave you $600 as a present so you could use 100% of it on buying me a Present! Why didn't you understand that! I'm angry and you need to apologize for not spending all the money I gave you on me!

Merry Christmas, honey, I got you some financial abuse!

# ? Dec 27, 2021 18:18

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

AITA For Ruining My Husband's Christmas?

quote:

My (F29) husband (M33) is the breadwinner and I'm a sahm. We used to both work but due to medical problems I couldn't keep working. As a result I don't have what they call fun money or money to spend however I want. My husband gives me money only to spend on the house or the kids but that's that. I might borrow money here and there or try to figure something out if I needed essential stuff like hygiene products.

I just stopped right here.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 18:23

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

AITA for not inviting my husband's son to Christmas?

quote:

My husband (64) has two kids, a daughter (35) and son (31), his daughter lives in a different country, but is low contact with us, so we have very little to do with her.

Their real mother died when they were both in their teens.

His son lives only 15 minutes away, and we see him from time-to-time. He's not a bad guy, just very different to my husband and I.

I also have a son of my own (41), he is a very successful stock broker, while my husband's son is a moderately successful photographer. My son is married with 3 kids, while my husband's son is still single, this usually causes problems over Christmas, as I like to spend it with my son and his family, and I expect my husband to join.

We invited his son along four years ago, and even though he did try to fit in, it just wasn't a good fit. He thought it appropriate to show up in Jeans and a t-shirt; I was so embarrassed, I could hardly look anyone in the eyes.

Ever since that year, we decided not to invite him again, this never seemed to be an issue until this year. We showed up at his home early morning. We had plans to go over to my son's house at around 11:00, so we didn't really have time, so we just dropped off a gift for him and left. He bought nothing for us.

Later that day, my husband texted him to ask him to ask if he had enjoyed the rest of Xmas, to which he replied "Oh right, that's what today was, thanks for the chocolate and 3 minute visit".

My husband was very upset by this, but I was outraged. I wanted to contact him and put him in his place, but my husband took my phone away and told me to let it go.

It's been two days now, him and my husband are talking again, and both seem to have just moved past it, but I'm still mad. It's not my fault that he is less successful than my family, and just can't fit in with us.

So, am I the idiot for not inviting my husband's son to Christmas? I think I might slightly be, because my husband wasn't super rich until he married me, so his son was raised in a lower class environment, which obviously he can't help, but at the same time, it's definitely not my fault either. I feel very conflicted.

Imagine I bolded the whole thing.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 18:24

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

This is not just an estranged parent thing, but also the other side of someone feeding another person food that that person isn't supposed to eat.

quote:

Teejay � you could have been talking about me, as my experience mirrors yours. My husband left when my kids were 2 and 4. I married a kind police officer, and we provided a living nurturing home. I allowed my ex unfettered access to my children, changing the custody arrangement whenever his whims dictated. I allowed him to take the children on my days because I felt I was doing the best for them. I say �allowed� because I could have fought him on things, but I didn�t have the strength after being married (and divorced) to a sociopath, which is what I believe he is. He never communicated anything about the children. When I tried to start a communication book, he �lost� it. I knew at that point it was futile to think we could have a �normal� co-parenting relationship. I (and the children) am a victim of Parental Alienation. I didn�t see it coming. He told my kids they had to choose between us when they turned 12. My son was beside himself � angry, crying, acting out. I didn�t realize how much pressure was being put on him. I did take him to counselling, but he wouldn�t talk to the therapist (therapists, like teachers, etc are stupid as per his dad). After a few therapy visits he asked if his dad could take him. I agreed. I don�t think he ever took him, not once. Fast forward two years. I had bought my kids a trip to Universal Studios in Florida for Christmas. We left in early January for a week. When we returned, on the way back from the airport, my son asked if I could drop him at his dad�s. I pushed back on that, but eventually relented. I didn�t know that was the last time he would ever spend with me.

I will never know what my ex filled my kids� heads with to make them despise me so. I know that my daughter (who I really believed had escaped his grasp) told me I had �gaslighted� her her whole life. I didn�t know what that meant, but when I did find out, the only thing I lied to her about was the Christmas Turkey stuffing. It had sausage meat in it and she was a vegetarian. She took a helping and then had seconds � she loved it so much I didn�t have the heart to tell her that it wasn�t vegetarian. So, not really a lie. Anyways, I know the why of my situation � my ex � but I spent years asking myself why my kids could treat me like this. I stopped asking that why. I will never know how the justified it.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 18:29

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for not inviting my husband's son to Christmas?

Imagine I bolded the whole thing.

Imagine being mortified by someone dressed casually at a loving family christmas party.

Husband's son could be a serial killer, but OP can get hosed.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 19:10

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Cthulu Carl posted:

Imagine being mortified by someone ~~dressed casually~~ like a poor at a loving family christmas party.

Husband's son could be a serial killer, but OP can get hosed.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 19:14

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

welcome to hell posted:

I Got Kicked Out of Boyfriends Christmas Party for Not Kissing A Fish...

The Maritimes are like if New England were nothing but a bunch of Maines, and therefore the concentration of weird Stephen King poo poo is that much higher it would seem.

And this is Newfoundland which is even stranger still.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 19:41

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for not inviting my husband's son to Christmas?

Imagine I bolded the whole thing.

I can safely say that you are not the rear end in a top hat because you snubbed your stepson, no.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 19:43

Funktastic: Jul 23, 2013

AITA for saying donations don't count as gifts?

quote:

To clarify I'm not saying this can't be gift at all just this specific situation.

So this year a group of my friends got together and celebrated Christmas as we hadn't been able to see one another due to the global situation. Because we hadn't been able to get together as a group in close to 2 years we decided to get everyone a small gift with a $30 limit per gift.

Everything was going fine until one of my friends handed out her gifts which were thank you cards for our donation to a charity that provides aid for disadvantaged families in Africa. I didn't say anything at the time but the next day while talking to one my other friends who was there we agreed it was a lovely thing to do.

Well the friend who made the donation found out we'd said that and called me upset and it lead to an argument where she called me selfish and greedy and I called her egotistical for using what was supposed to be a rare occasion where we actually give gifts to one another into a chance chance pat herself on the back.

I said if she wanted to donate money she could have asked us to make that our gift to her instead of making it out to be a gift to us. I also pointed out most of us would have probably made a donation ourselves because it's a good cause. I don't have a problem with what the money is being used for I just have a problem with how she gave the money.

She thinks I'm an rear end in a top hat and my wife agrees with me but also thinks talking about it doesn't actually accomplish anything.

Edit: I did actually ask her if she was going to claim the tax deduction ($210). She didn't answer that and kept changing the subject.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:02

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Lmao about the tax deduction. A real Homer's bowling ball style gift

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:08

BigSexy: Apr 21, 2020

Should have donated to the human fund instead

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:13

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

QuarkJets posted:

This is 2 days old so sorry if it got posted already, I am bad at threadsearch

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I'm going to start doing this when I need to clean up after a party

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:13

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Mx. posted:

Straight guy came out the other side of the pandemic in a same sex relationship (I think)

This is wonderful :kiddo:

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:15

Rusty Rickshaw: Apr 30, 2008

QuarkJets posted:

This is 2 days old so sorry if it got posted already, I am bad at threadsearch

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

This is me now

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:19

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

That�s a prime gifts as aggression move

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:21

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

WIBTA if I stopped going to family therapy?

quote:

I wasn't the perfect father, but goddamn.

Well that was an easy YTA for me. Here's the full body if you need it:

quote:

I wasn't the perfect father, but goddamn. The way my daughter (Alana, 26) talks about me in therapy, you'd think I'd never done anything good for her at all. I get it. I hosed up. But it's like I told the therapist when he asked me how my daughter's words made me feel: "I'm not trying to shift any blame, but my wife is right here and my daughter hasn't said one bad word about her this entire time. Is this goijg to be family therapy or bash Dad for an hour and forty-five minutes every week?"

He told me that, that uncomfortable feeling I felt and that frustration was how my daughter has been feeling for all these years. And I told him, "I get that, that's why I'm here, so we can all get past that and move forward. Forward. Not continuously going back to the past and talking about things that we can't change. What are some solutions moving forward?" And he said, "It starts with listening."

That was the first session. We're on session three. I've been listening and all I hear is a lot whole of "Daddy this" and "Daddy that" and I'm ready to call it quits and throw in the towel. I told my wife that she could go to the sessions without me from now on and she can listen to my daughter complain about me all they want because obviously if she hates me that much, it's better if I stay away.

My wife said that if I stopped going that would make me an AH because this isn't about me and that we're there to support our daughter in her healing process.

I said that was easy for her to say because she's not the one getting targeted every week and if this isn't about me (too) then this isn't family therapy and I should just remove myself if I'm the cause of all the problems.

I'm having doubts though because I did neglect our daughter a lot when she was little, and I do want a better relationship with her, but if I have to keep going through this? gently caress no.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:49

Ravenfood: Nov 4, 2011

DemoneeHo posted:

WIBTA if I stopped going to family therapy?

Well that was an easy YTA for me. Here's the full body if you need it:

Yep, time for another murder.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:56

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

DemoneeHo posted:

WIBTA if I stopped going to family therapy?

Well that was an easy YTA for me. Here's the full body if you need it:

Mega man bitch baby energy

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:58

caterpillaropera: Aug 31, 2004; Who's gonna teach you to bump and grind?; Buglord

Funktastic posted:

AITA for saying donations don't count as gifts?

There's already a positive update to this.

quote:

Update: so I didn't expect this many comments. Thanks to everyone who commented. One thing that stuck out to me was I shouldn't have said what I said the way I did and you're right she and I are adults who basically resorted to name calling. I called her up to apologise for how I said what I said and to my surprise she apologised for buying the donations. Apparently a few of her friends called her out on what she did as well which is partially why she was so defensive when I spoke to her

She offered to return the gift I got her but I didn't want her to do that. What she's decided to do is to take the team return on this and she'll talk to the 7 of us and ask of there is a specific charity she could donate to in our name instead. I've given her one I really support and I appreciate knowing where the money is going to. She's also agreed to buy a case of beer and some sausages to BBQ (thanks to the person who suggested this idea) for the next time we all catch up as a small apology for not thinking things through. All in all things have gone back to normal and friendships weren't ruined over something small.

# ? Dec 27, 2021 20:59