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MetaJew
Apr 14, 2006
Gather round, one and all, and thrill to my turgid tales of underwhelming misadventure!

dissss posted:

You can’t get ventilated seats at all on the cheaper Teslas though, and even the S/X are only ventilated rather than cooled right?

To my knowledge, Tesla does not offer ventilated seats in any of their cars, but I could be wrong. Our Y has heated seats and steering wheel, at least.

I was surprised when I discovered that my loaner 2021 CX5 had heated, cooled/ventilated seats, and a heated steering wheel. That car while feeling exceptionally slow, had a much better layout of real buttons and stuff than Tesla offers, for sure.

Again, I'm not disagreeing with y'all about how bad the the single center display interface is, but given what is available on the market, it was the most logical choice to go with.

But the choice of an EV that could be used for what are "reasonable" driving distances in the US, at least for a time was only Tesla.

Olympic Mathlete posted:

This is entirely my issue with the things, if interacting with the simplest controls has to be via a pointless tech interface instead of the very simple and far superior buttons and knobs then I'm really not going to enjoy being sat in the thing despite the pros of the way the rest of the car works/behaves.

"but you'll get used to it!" the fans repeatedly say but why should you have to re-learn where controls are hiding when they've been standardised for decades? You're just re-inventing the wheel for the sake of it, to get cred from dipshits who don't know any better and are easily impressed.

Like Android OS updates that change the layout for no reason other than some UX manager at Google getting a little job security, I agree that it is incredibly annoying. To do it in a car that makes it even more unsafe to use while driving is unconscionable.

We need some kind of legislation or rules from Congress or CARB (that would trickle up to a federal law) that would require new cars to be sold with physical buttons and interfaces or something-- but we know that won't happen, and Elon shills and shithead libertarians would call that overreach.

Edit: again if my wife and I could afford a $150-200k car we would've bought a Taycan wagon or the Etron GT. We just failed to buy the right crypto/GameStop shares/etc to swing that.

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KozmoNaut
Apr 23, 2008

Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle


Motronic posted:

Don't get me wrong. I want a Tesla. A carefully wrecked one so I can gut the drivetrain out of it to put in something else. Just needs to come along at the right price.

Buick Roadmaster wagon, fake wood paneling and all.

Invalido
Dec 28, 2005

BICHAELING
electroswapped Citroën DS is pretty much my dream car. Hopefully/presumably availability and affordability of of electroparts will get better with time. Also other brands than Tesla will hopfully have different form factors on their battery modules. The teslas are pretty long and difficult to fit in many cars from what I gather.

BigPaddy
Jun 30, 2008

That night we performed the rite and opened the gate.
Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float.
By the time I got back, he'd gone insane.
Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere.


When all these screens start failing out of warranty and there are no alternative controls it is going to be amusing. This is not just a Tesla thing.

sarcastx
Feb 26, 2005



Tesla Pros:
*Charging network that's so loving far ahead of the competition it's not 1st place/2nd place, more like 1st place/Participant
*Even the cheapest Teslas are quick (at least in a straight line), bordering on outright insanely quick
*Excellent range
*Excellent resale value
*Some cool technology features (e.g. remote control/security/dashcam functionality)

Tesla Cons:
*Instrument Cluster OR a steering wheel: Choose one.
*Built by people whose idea of driving/handling originates on the I-380 by San Mateo
*Touch Controls for *critical* functions
*Soviet-era build quality, fit and finish on cars that you're likely gonna spend $60k+ for
*lovely software prone to frequent, unnotified and unwanted change
*Godawful customer service
*Driving around in what could be construed as a tacit endorsement of Muskian shitposts

in conclusion Tesla is a land of contrast, and

sarcastx fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Jan 4, 2022

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
I follow a few detailers and am friends with a guy who's fairly well known in detailing and nearly all of them have nothing nice to say about Tesla paint. Anecdotal yes but I've seen it called out in quite a few places.

GD_American
Jul 21, 2004

LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY AS IT'S INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!
Is the prevailing non-Muskovite conventional wisdom on Tesla still that they’re hosed as soon as the OEMs get dead serious about EVs?

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

sarcastx posted:

*Built by people whose idea of driving/handling originates on the I-380 by San Mateo

I understood this reference.

gently caress that section of the highway in particular. I like to joke that, when I go and fly a tiny single engine plane out of the San Carlos airport, the most dangerous part of the whole experience is driving that section of 380 to 101.

Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Jan 4, 2022

Darchangel
Feb 12, 2009

Tell him about the blower!


Invalido posted:

electroswapped Citroën DS is pretty much my dream car. Hopefully/presumably availability and affordability of of electroparts will get better with time. Also other brands than Tesla will hopfully have different form factors on their battery modules. The teslas are pretty long and difficult to fit in many cars from what I gather.

This would be awesome. Perfect. Like driving a silent cloud.

GD_American posted:

Is the prevailing non-Muskovite conventional wisdom on Tesla still that they’re hosed as soon as the OEMs get dead serious about EVs?

Yes, but only if they also sort out the dismal charging situation in the US as well.

PBCrunch
Jun 17, 2002

Lawrence Phillips Always #1 to Me
Automakers all want to be mobility-as-a-service (barf) vendors, right? When is one of them going to sell/lease an electric car with swappable packs and then offer up swap stations with some kind of subscription service? Charge at home most of the time (drawing juice from some kind of leased charger) and when you go on a trip you can swap packs as needed at special service stations along the interstate.

Uthor
Jul 9, 2006

Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.
Someone tried that and failed. Not to say it wouldn't succeed in the future.

https://jalopnik.com/battery-swapping-israeli-startup-better-place-is-dead-510139169

sarcastx
Feb 26, 2005



GD_American posted:

Is the prevailing non-Muskovite conventional wisdom on Tesla still that they’re hosed as soon as the OEMs get dead serious about EVs?

Honestly for all my ripping on Tesla cars I don't see them going anywhere, the brand is far too valuable as "the" electric car company now that the market seems to be heading in that direction. With a little luck, though, ol' Musky will get removed as CEO (after over promising and under-delivering one time too many) and they can put someone at the helm that isn't a complete loving dipshit, someone who can picture an actual person and how they may want to interact with their car instead of wasting time on bullshit like this

sarcastx
Feb 26, 2005



fuggin' Honda made like seven million Civics, about as many Accords and an utter fuckload of motorcycles before they went ahead and made Asimo, and that bitch can even walk up stairs sometimes

crackhaed
Jan 18, 2005

From out of the basement,
a man doth emerge,
sweat on his brow,
for Efron the urge.

Uthor posted:

Someone tried that and failed. Not to say it wouldn't succeed in the future.

https://jalopnik.com/battery-swapping-israeli-startup-better-place-is-dead-510139169

Isn't someone doing this in China?

Darchangel
Feb 12, 2009

Tell him about the blower!


crackhaed posted:

Isn't someone doing this in China?

Yeah, there’s a manufacturer doing it. Videos on YT of the automated battery swap. It takes like 20 minutes. I’m on mobile at the moment or I’d link/inline.

Saukkis
May 16, 2003

Unless I'm on the inside curve pointing straight at oncoming traffic the high beams stay on and I laugh at your puny protest flashes.
I am Most Important Man. Most Important Man in the World.

sarcastx posted:

Honestly for all my ripping on Tesla cars I don't see them going anywhere, the brand is far too valuable as "the" electric car company now that the market seems to be heading in that direction. With a little luck, though, ol' Musky will get removed as CEO (after over promising and under-delivering one time too many) and they can put someone at the helm that isn't a complete loving dipshit, someone who can picture an actual person and how they may want to interact with their car instead of wasting time on bullshit like this


I suspect Tesla has gotten big enough that they will survive old OEMs. Last year Tesla delivered 87% more cars than the previous year, 936k total, and the last quarter counted 308,600.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-01-02/tesla-delivers-record-308-600-cars-in-quarter-beating-estimate

When Tesla was around half a million I got curious and checked Mazda's numbers. With million and half per year they are considerable bigger, but consider how large model range they have, looks like they have over two dozen different models. Not to mention all the engine models they must have, SkyActivs, diesels and whatnot, all with a fancy acronym that is vitally important for marketing. With Tesla all that matters is whether there is one or two motors. I know Tesla has at least two motors using different technology, but I can't really remember what was the difference, or which models used which. Tesla could switch the motor technology in the middle of a model year and most customers wouldn't notice.


Darchangel posted:

Yeah, there’s a manufacturer doing it. Videos on YT of the automated battery swap. It takes like 20 minutes. I’m on mobile at the moment or I’d link/inline.

I read a magazine EV comparison recently and they made special note that the Hyuandai or Kia model they had managed to charge 300 km of range in 18 minutes. If the swapping takes that long it really doesn't seem worth the effort. Although I think I recollect it wasn't that slow with the chinese EV.

Saukkis fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Jan 5, 2022

um excuse me
Jan 1, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Saukkis posted:

I suspect Tesla has gotten big enough that they will survive old OEMs. Last year Tesla delivered 87% more cars than the previous year, 936k total, and the last quarter counted 308,600.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-01-02/tesla-delivers-record-308-600-cars-in-quarter-beating-estimate

When Tesla was around half a million I got curious and checked Mazda's numbers. With million and half per year they are considerable bigger, but consider how large model range they have, looks like they have over two dozen different models. Not to mention all the engine models they must have, SkyActivs, diesels and whatnot, all with a fancy acronym that is vitally important for marketing. With Tesla all that matters is whether there is one or two motors. I know Tesla has at least two motors using different technology, but I can't really remember what was the difference, or which models used which. Tesla could switch the motor technology in the middle of a model year and most customers wouldn't notice.

I read a magazine EV comparison recently and they made special note that the Hyuandai or Kia model they had managed to charge 300 km of range in 18 minutes. If the swapping takes that long it really doesn't seem worth the effort. Although I think I recollect it wasn't that slow with the chinese EV.

They have a standard coiled motor in the Model S, and a reluctance motor in the Model 3 which apparently reduces the motor cost significantly.

Zeppelin Insanity
Oct 28, 2009

Wahnsinn
Einfach
Wahnsinn

sarcastx posted:

Honestly for all my ripping on Tesla cars I don't see them going anywhere, the brand is far too valuable as "the" electric car company now that the market seems to be heading in that direction. With a little luck, though, ol' Musky will get removed as CEO (after over promising and under-delivering one time too many) and they can put someone at the helm that isn't a complete loving dipshit, someone who can picture an actual person and how they may want to interact with their car instead of wasting time on bullshit like this


He'll not get removed as CEO because the only thing that matters is the share price. It was never, ever about the car, and it never will be. Musk has a cult following not just among regular tech bazingas, but among money people. The only people with the power to remove Musk as CEO are Musk cultists, who also made shitloads of money off of being Musk cultists. The only way it could happen if he did something to make the share price tank permanently, but share prices are so unmoored from reality that I struggle to think of anything he could do that would have that effect.

Tesla is not a car company. Rivian is not a car company. They are a share price factory. The product is incidental.

sarcastx
Feb 26, 2005



Zeppelin Insanity posted:

Share price stuff

I think we actually agree on most points, except that in my mind I'm seeing him gently caress up a product launch or something so badly it causes stock problems because he's busy developing a flamethrowing pedo-guy sub. Either that or FSD starts selectively spearing into daycare centers.

sarcastx fucked around with this message at 13:50 on Jan 5, 2022

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet

sarcastx posted:

I think we actually agree on most points, except that in my mind I'm seeing him gently caress up a product launch or something so badly it causes stock problems because he's busy developing a flamethrowing pedo-guy sub. Either that or FSD starts selectively spearing into daycare centers.

Disgruntled employees add routines to make the cars leave their garages at night to hunt venture capitalists.

More seriously, the one sure way to get nailed is stealing from the capital class. It's one thing to undeliver, but if Musk attempts securities fuckery like a certain someone who was recently convicted, that could get him kicked out.

PBCrunch
Jun 17, 2002

Lawrence Phillips Always #1 to Me
Yeah, Tesla is one (inevitable) unintended acceleration disaster away from being acquired by a real auto manufacturer.

coupedeville
Jan 1, 2012

MY ANACONDA DOM'T WANT NONE UNLESS U GOT CUM SON!

PBCrunch posted:

Yeah, Tesla is one (inevitable) unintended acceleration disaster away from being acquired by a real auto manufacturer.

comedy option volkswagen audi group acquisition :classiclol:

Nidhg00670000
Mar 26, 2010

We're in the pipe, five by five.
Grimey Drawer
Stellantis, rebrand as Panhard.

SlapActionJackson
Jul 27, 2006

Tesla has pretty successfully established themselves as a premium lifestyle brand. As long as they can keep the marketing mojo going they'll be fine. Apple coasted along for decades on sub-par hardware with the occasional genuine innovation, and I can see Tesla doing the same.

Not sure there's any way to grow into that stock valuation, though.

Darchangel
Feb 12, 2009

Tell him about the blower!


Saukkis posted:

I read a magazine EV comparison recently and they made special note that the Hyuandai or Kia model they had managed to charge 300 km of range in 18 minutes. If the swapping takes that long it really doesn't seem worth the effort. Although I think I recollect it wasn't that slow with the chinese EV.

I was way off. It's NIO in China, and about 5 minutes, apparently.
https://insideevs.com/news/537644/nio-4-million-battery-swaps/

Powershift
Nov 23, 2009


Serperoth
Feb 21, 2013




Nidhg00670000 posted:

Stellantis, rebrand as Panhard.

:sickos:

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009


This broke my brain trying to figure out if there was any way in hell the body lines for the doors and bed could possibly match up on anything that would have that cab/windshield. And no. GIS turned up one sketchy bit of info from a motortrend throwaway piece with an additional picture:

https://www.motortrend.com/news/april-2021-truck-news

quote:

Blain's Bodyshop And Auto Sales: 2018/72 C10 Pickup

What you're looking at is a 2018 Chevy Silverado. It's got the air conditioning, interior comforts, powertrain, and aerodynamics of a new truck, and it's all blended with the old-school style of a 1972 C10 pickup. Blain's Bodyshop & Auto Sales in Lepanto, Arkansas, used new sheetmetal from LMC Truck to reskin the 2018 Silverado, added period-correct paint, and created this 100-percent daily drivable creation.

Powershift
Nov 23, 2009


Motronic posted:

This broke my brain trying to figure out if there was any way in hell the body lines for the doors and bed could possibly match up on anything that would have that cab/windshield. And no. GIS turned up one sketchy bit of info from a motortrend throwaway piece with an additional picture:

https://www.motortrend.com/news/april-2021-truck-news



I didn't want to dig any deeper, but i did.

https://www.motortrend.com/features/silverado-conversion/

A lot of work to end up with......that

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009

It's a ton of work to end up with a mediocre result, but I kinda like it. It's just got that unfortunate "you know it's a kit car because of the windshield rake" thing going on.

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002

Powershift posted:

I didn't want to dig any deeper, but i did.

https://www.motortrend.com/features/silverado-conversion/

A lot of work to end up with......that
dont forget to scroll to the end!

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009

BraveUlysses posted:

dont forget to scroll to the end!



:barf:

Shifty Pony
Dec 28, 2004

Up ta somethin'


Motronic posted:

It's a ton of work to end up with a mediocre result, but I kinda like it. It's just got that unfortunate "you know it's a kit car because of the windshield rake" thing going on.

I like it too but I'm not sure if that's because I've only seen that color scheme and grill on reasonably sized trucks so my brain is assuming the thing isn't the stupidly oversized monster truck wannabe that it actually is.

Q_res
Oct 29, 2005

We're fucking built for this shit!

Motronic posted:

It's a ton of work to end up with a mediocre result, but I kinda like it. It's just got that unfortunate "you know it's a kit car because of the windshield rake" thing going on.

They should make them look like the 88-96 trucks, the windshield rake wouldn't even look out of place, I don't think.

HenryJLittlefinger
Jan 31, 2010

stomp clap


Motronic posted:

This broke my brain trying to figure out if there was any way in hell the body lines for the doors and bed could possibly match up on anything that would have that cab/windshield. And no. GIS turned up one sketchy bit of info from a motortrend throwaway piece with an additional picture:

https://www.motortrend.com/news/april-2021-truck-news



Lepanto is an exceptionally boring part of trump country, so a physical manifestation of a stupid idea is about par for the course for there

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



BraveUlysses posted:

dont forget to scroll to the end!



lmao

StormDrain
May 22, 2003

Thirteen Letter

Motronic posted:

It's a ton of work to end up with a mediocre result, but I kinda like it. It's just got that unfortunate "you know it's a kit car because of the windshield rake" thing going on.

The old style bed and front clip really highlight the shortness of the greenhouse. The first time I got in one of those trucks I immediately was surprised at how short in the z plane the windshield was. Now I daily drive it and it's faded away.

Shifty Pony
Dec 28, 2004

Up ta somethin'


Look we have to keep the height of the passenger compartment to a minimum because we used up all our drag coefficient budget by making the front end a 6' by 4' vertical wall.

StormDrain
May 22, 2003

Thirteen Letter

Shifty Pony posted:

Look we have to keep the height of the passenger compartment to a minimum because we used up all our drag coefficient budget by making the front end a 6' by 4' vertical wall.

The thing of it is there is a ton of headroom inside still, I can easily wear a hard hat inside without coming close to the roof, although I'm just an average 5-9 guy. The belt line is just really high.

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Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free
I kinda like those, for no other reason than they're... well, different, that's for sure.

Would I drive them? Probably not. Would I be amused and fsscinated if I saw them driving down the freeway? Absolutely.

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