Pope Corky the IX posted:

My ex-wife didn't like me talking about members of my family that had died because her equivalents were still alive and she shouldn't have to think about that.

Spaced God posted:

None of this is real but this owns

Variable 5 posted:

Take the bath in the pool. Problem solved.

Get hot tub pee guy to move in and you can get rid of the toilets, too.

Boba Pearl posted:

That is straight tweaker poo poo the gently caress

B-Rock452 posted:

I really thought so to but him having a separate stash didn't make much sense. I am assuming he has some big debt she doesn't know about

quote:

the money he was saving for himself which isn't much

Pope Corky the IX posted:

My ex-wife didn't like me talking about members of my family that had died because her equivalents were still alive and she shouldn't have to think about that.

quote:

AITA for telling my boyfriend he has to keep his furniture in one room if he wants to move in with me?

Okay so I know this sounds terrible, also this is a throwaway account because I think my boyfriend follows my original one.

I have an Instagram with a pretty big following. I post pictures of my apartment and my book collection. I'd consider this my second job since I do make money from it and only work part-time at another job. I get paid for product placements etc.

So naturally, my apartment is very staged and every single piece of furniture and decor is well thought out, matches and is generally just the same "vibe".

Now recently my boyfriend started talking about moving in with me. We've been together for 4 years, and he lives quite far away, so moving in would make sense. He thinks my apartment is "funny" and looks like its straight out of a catalogue. But he doesn't really care what I do with my own apartment.

But now the problems begin - he obviously wants to take his furniture with him. At least a part of it, especially since he bought most of the stuff new last year when he moved to a bigger apartment.

The thing is - my apartment and my Instagram (as well as my following) have a boho / scandi flair. Everything matches that specific style. His furniture is mostly black from Ikea, think Malm, Kallax, Billy etc. So it's definitely not something that matches what I already have or something I could post on my feed.

I have a spare room in my apartment that I mostly use for storage purposes, and he talked about making a gaming room out of it anyways, so I suggested he'd get all his furniture (or at least as much as the room can fit) in there and he'll have his little gaming den.

Initially he liked the idea, then he thought about it for a while and asked why he can't just put up some of his furniture around the apartment.

I explained to him that my apartment has to look a certain way to appeal to my following and that they're interested in a very specific style and that I will possibly loose income if I drastically change the way my apartment looks. He didn't really get it and told me I'm a bit controlling and kind of an rear end in a top hat.

I'd totally understand if it was just a "normal" apartment where we both just live in. Then, of course, I'd be more than willing to comprimise and make sure its a space we both feel good in and we both had a say in. But as this is part of my work and my income, I'm a bit stubborn when it comes to bringing in pieces that don't match the overall vibe of my apartment and my feed at all.

I talked to some friends and it's pretty evenly split, some say they get me since it's part of my job to have my apartment look a certain way, others say I'm being a dick and should just let him bring his furniture.


So.. AITA?


TL;DR I pretty much make money off of my apartment looking a certain way. My boyfriend wants to move in and bring furniture that doesn't match my apartment at all.

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I don't know what Boho Scandi is supposed to look like, but Ikea furniture is both minimalist and scandinavian by like definition

Solenna posted:

hawowanlawow posted:

yes everyone loves to sit in wicker chairs indoors

thunderspanks posted:

I'm torn on this one because while I personally feel that influencers are some of the most obnoxious and insufferable people alive, from a QoL perspective she's right to not want to knowingly derail her gravy train.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Nah, Ikea stuff is cheap by Scandinavian standards, and if OP has good-quality Scandinavian modern knockoffs, Ikea would be out-of-place. Genuine Scandinavian modern has touches that would be way too expensive for Ikea to produce within their price range. Look at the image at the top of this article. Notice the chair at the front. See the exposed joinery? Ikea furniture is screwed together. Notice all the carefully-tapered arms and legs? You can't saw a look like that. You have to carve it or turn it on a lathe, which is $$$ even with factory tools. I could call out similar features of much of the furniture in that picture.

OP makes most of her living by presenting an image of an ideal, curated apartment. Putting Ikea in that setting would lose her audience.

I think influencing is batshit, and "do I want to live with an influencer?" is certainly a question OP's partner should ask. But OP's maintaining an aesthetic is not just being controlling, it's OP's actual job.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

I think influencing is batshit, and "do I want to live with an influencer?" is certainly a question OP's partner should ask. But OP's maintaining an aesthetic is not just being controlling, it's OP's actual job.

Upgrade posted:

Her job is to post pictures of coffee in front of a wicker chair with a big pillow on it with a plant behind and some natural sunlight. Boyfriend wants to derail that. NTA.

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I get all that, I'm just saying that that furniture sucks and looks bad, (and is not what you'd find in most Scandinavian households).

quote:

My F32 husband M37 has always had a bad relationship with his dad, in 2020 some major dispute happened between them resulting in my FIL getting a RO against my husband, My husband then hasn't been able to visit his parents house anymore. His mom would visit us to see her granddaughters (9 & 7) or take them to visit their grandfather while she babysits.

Last week my husband and I had to work and needed MIL to babysit the girl but she couldn't come to our house so my husband took the girls to the park so she could pick them up from there and take them to her house.

I was at work when MIL called saying she had an emergency and couldn't come to the park to pick up the girls and my husband wasn't picking up, I kept callig him but no reply til an hour later when he told me he was already at work and left the girls sitting in the park waiting for Mil. I freaked out asking how he left them there unsuppervised but he said he was already late for work and figured his mom would be there in just few minutes to pick them up, I yelled at him that his mom just called saying she couldn't leave home due to an rmergency so the girls were alone at the park.

He tried to calm me down but I left work and drove to the park and found them sitting with a family, I was furious I took them home and waited for him to get home.

I lost my ever loving sh&$# on him yelling that he shouldn't have left the girls alone nomatter what his reason was and he said he thought his mom would be there in a matter of minutes, besides, the park was full of families and it was in broad day light and not 10pm. I basically chewed him out calling him negelctful and irrsponsible for prioritizing work over his kids wellbeing. He actually said I overreacted and was angry at "the wrong person" and blamed his mom for bailing on him last minute, but I told him to stop using his mom as a scapegoat cause it's pethatic. In response he told me off and went upstairs to check on the girls.

That was the last time we talked, He's eversince started avoiding me and only talks to me through the girls saying stuff like "daddy couldn't sleep last night cause mommy yelled at him and made him sad" or "daddy needs an apology to feel better". Acting like I wronged him and it irked me beyond measure.

EDIT: RO = Restraining order.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for yelling at my husband for leaving our daughters at the park while they were waiting for their grandma?


Sure I abandoned our kids in the middle of a major city but have you considered that you hurt my feelings when you yelled at me?

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for not telling my girlfriend sooner that she couldn’t move in with me?

Solenna posted:

Absurd Alhazred posted:

If any relationship suggests two people should live in different houses, this is the one.

limp_cheese posted:

This is the actual solution though. If they are serious they need 2 places to live, one they actually live in and the other is just her studio where she pretends to live.

Yvonmukluk posted:

Maybe we finally have the answer to that guy who's girlfriend had an entire attic he wasn't allowed into. It was her instagram studio the whole time!

Arsenic Lupin posted:

It's really common in coastal communities. And can Huey Newton be wrong?

e: I know there's a Sydney Greenstreet movie where he's sitting in a wicker peacock chair flicking flies away, but I can't dredge up the image. Which movie is it, does anybody know?

Soylent Pudding posted:

I initially read this as the Op should be wearing the wedding dress when he shows up with his girlfriend and I agree.