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This route was interesting, but I don't think there were as much of the intense feels that everyone else said it had. But, uh, I may not be the best person to comment (I'm very emotionally armored). Also, I didn't listen to the music - not sure how much that affects things.
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Jan 7, 2022 22:46
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YaketySass posted:Manic Pixie Dream Girl story I've been thinking about this. Cause it starts out as pure MPDG; MC with life in transition meets a Quirky girl, who's a creative type. Even has elements of being non-traditional; walking around all night, smoking, having long conversations about Feelings and Meaning. Except that the focus shifts to Rin. Hisao's changes mostly take place in between encounters with her; when they meet, the focus is on working through her issues. Which are presented without without any gloss. Don't remember the sex scene being so...integral to the plot. Not that any of them have been extraneous so far (well, some more than others). I figured this route would get the most sympathy. "Trying to make yourself understood in a world that seems determined not to understand you" could be one of these forums' subtitles. Cobalt-60 fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Jan 8, 2022 |
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Jan 8, 2022 02:05
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Falconier111 posted:So, uh, when I was writing the wrap-up update I completely forgot to talk about Rin's role in the beta, and since already hideously long I'd rather not expand it even more. So feel free to discuss that now! You know what, I'm completely blanking on Rin's route in the beta. Or did she not have one in the beta? But yeah, oof. I found this route pretty rough when I first read it. Like I said earlier, probably because it reminded me so much of a past doomed relationship. I found that feeling of doom in Rin's route to be so strong that even though I could recognise academically(?) that it had a happy ending, I sure didn't feel like it did. No feeling of catharsis, like I think I said much earlier in the thread. I felt rotten for a while afterwards. And next up there's Lilly's route (same order that I read them in, too), which I also found pretty rough, since it reminded me of another, different failed relationship. Because gently caress my life, I guess! It's still probably my favourite route after Hanako's, though.
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Jan 9, 2022 10:23
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Update 106: Rin, Communication, and Uncertainty Normally I like to skip an update between the end of a route and starting the next (lets people breath), but if I did that here we’d end up going a solid seven days between gameplay updates. I don’t like that, so have this wrapup a day early. I remember one point maybe halfway through Act 4 when I realized I was getting bored with transcribing this route. I paused and took a deeper look, because, what? Turns out I wasn’t as much bored as frustrated. The endless waves of misunderstandings and miscommunications were wearing me down; I had to push myself to keep going because I was starting to find the experience unpleasant. Then I realized that’s the point. I’m kind of weird when it comes to movie endings; I despise tragic endings on a bunch of levels, but my definition of tragic ending seems a lot narrower than most people’s. I remember watching a movie in a high school honors class (and if anyone recognizes it, please let us know in the thread) about a Central American medical professor that one day meets a star pupil of his on the streets; the man’s a drug dealer because that’s the only way he could make a living, and as far as he knows the rest of the professor’s favorite students are even worse off. The professor embarks on a series of exceptionally grim adventures through (I think) the Guatemalan jungle, picking up a medic who deserted from a rebel army after they conscripted him, gave him basic medical training, and forced them to participate in war crimes. Eventually, after finding every single other student either broken or dead, the professor arrives at a mountain sanctuary where the last of his students was supposed to be helping refugees, only to discover she wasn’t there. Exhausted by his travels and injuries, he sits down next to a tree and dies. Then a baby cries somewhere to the right of the screen and the medic grabs the professor’s suitcase before marching off in that direction. The rest of the class thought it was a crushingly tragic ending; all of his efforts, all of his attempts to find or help his students, came to nothing. That startled me because I thought it was a profoundly hopeful ending. Like, yeah, the whole point of the movie is that everything he poured into securing a positive legacy for the world failed. And then he died. And the person who’s been learning from him for like two thirds of the movie takes up his mantle and goes to carry on his legacy in the way he would have wanted. And yeah, we don’t know he’s going to go help that baby; he might just walk off with the equipment and sell it or something. But after putting himself in danger to have this guy’s back? Not taking the chance to slip away with the goods before then? Identifying an issue that can be addressed with medical attention, then heading towards that issue after ensuring he has the ability to give it medical attention? It struck me as unlikely. I realized this whole class of perfectly nice and accepting but very privileged and abled kids saw that uncertainty as a fundamentally negative thing and I’m sitting on my disabled rear end in intense uncertainty every day. I never knew when my brain was going to turn on me and gently caress my day up, or when I’d cross some invisible line and piss off people I like again; I didn't have the luxury of certainty. Hell, I didn’t even have the luxury of trying to BE certain, because I’d been burned enough times and enough ways to know fixing my issues just wasn’t in the cards. I also had enough experience to know that I’d recover, that in the grand scheme of things these things hurt but didn’t kill. I’d already hit rock bottom and bounced, so I knew from hard experience uncertainty included the possibility of things getting better as well as worse. And that, I think, is the core of understanding Rin’s route. Her communication issues, whatever causes them, make her opaque; she barely emotes, her thoughts wander, and she stumbles every time she tries to explain herself. Maybe one day she’ll work out how to get through to people, but not today. Everything about her is uncertain. That makes lots of people want to fix that. But if you approach that uncertainty as purely negative, treating it like a puzzle that must be solved, it’s going to backfire. You have to look at it holistically, taking the good as well as the bad, accepting that you can’t really fix it, and accepting what you can’t change as well as helping where you can. And that might sound similar to how I talk about disability. So, some of the routes we covered translated better into the LP format than others, but just about all of them lost something. That’s inevitable: as similar as they are compared to other forms of media like movies or music, visual novels and straight text with commentary like this are fundamentally different. But Rin’s route suffered the most, hands down. The way it throws up smokescreens around its important choices and what they mean both reflects the communication failures between the protagonists and force the player to emulate them. In most routes, it’s comparatively easy to deduce which choices have an impact on the ending, even if which choices get which endings aren’t clear. Not here. Here, the complexity around that first set of choices leaves the player questioning if they’re on the right track on a meta level, which makes them more likely to close-read the route to make sure they know what they’re doing, which leaves them more vulnerable to the uncertainty the characters experience, which makes them both invested in getting the Good Ending and unsure whether they can – which closely parallels the protagonists’ motivations. It’s a highly effective piece of game design and a (deliberately) emotionally exhausting one. But it relies on uncertainty to function. There is no uncertainty in how I presented it here, and couldn’t introduce it without sealing off too much content or throwing us into another Ending. So instead, I’ll dissect this uncertainty and what it means right now. Update 38 posted:Lilly perks her head, looking like she's trying to focus on listening more keenly. It suddenly comes to me that I should probably interpret the scene for her. I love this scene. It’s one of my favorite in the game. Watching Lilly lower her expectations only to see them shattered over and over again never gets old  . But think about what’s actually happening here. What did Rin do before and during this scene?
Update 86 posted:Rin's lips flatten tightly against each other into an almost perfectly horizontal line. She closes her eyes and draws in a deep breath. When she opens her eyelids the frighteningly stern look in her dark eyes takes me aback. … As this scene amply demonstrates. Even then, there are some oddities in there (like how it may or may not imply she’d be comfortable with him pulling down her underwear), but it’s pretty straightforward. But that’s an exception. As the pressure on her rises, whatever infrastructure she has in place to support herself crumbles and even that momentary clarity vanishes. Update 103 posted:
It’s funny, but in a sad way. She isn’t saying goofy things because she’s being goofy; she’s saying them because she’s genuinely trying to bridge the gap between her thoughts and Hisao’s and failing. She is trying. She wants to succeed. It’s just outside of her power. But it takes at least two people to have a relationship. Hisao’s invested in Rin. He wants to bridge that gap so how does he do it? Well, he can just demand she bridge the gap herself and get the Bad Ending. Remember that choice at the end of Act 3? If we demanded she explain herself, this is what would happen next: A hypothetical Update 101 posted:HISAO: "Fine. Then explain to me." We've seen Hisao get angry at her behavior before, but here it completely consumes him. Ironically, for all Rin’s communication issues, HE’S the one whose misinterpretations spoiled their relationship for good. He let his frustration take over and select one interpretation of her behavior to believe, the wrong one, the one that assumed the worst of her against all evidence to the contrary – and there is plenty of evidence to the contrary, from her body language in the scene to the way she haphazardly spills her concerns to him in one go from time to time because she gives up on presenting them coherently. He goes to sleep having failed on his part and ruined something that could’ve been beautiful. You get the Neutral Ending by passing up your chance to burn everything to the ground at the end of Act 3 and taking a different tack in the aftermath of Rin’s collapse at the gallery. If you remember Update 103, when a harrowed Rin said she wished she had someone who didn’t ask her the kinds of questions that just gave her a public panic attack, we asked her what it would be like if she knew someone who DIDN’T ask her those questions. If we’d blithely told her she should be happy with people liking her paintings, we’d get this response instead: A hypothetical Update 103 posted:HISAO: "But aren't you happy people are interested in your paintings? I mean, isn't that why you went ahead with having the exhibition and all? Of course they would ask you questions, if they think it's interesting." The show is a success, and Nomiya and Sae are both thrilled (though Sae’s a bit more bittersweet). Hisao rushes through finals only to find that Rin won’t talk to him – when he shows up to the gallery and sees her coming down the street, she literally turns around and walks away into the pouring rain. He chases her down to pull something out of her on why she’s so disengaged and in return gets one of the most heartrending scenes in the game in exchange. A hypothetical Update 105 posted:Eventually the rain yields enough for me to close the umbrella, shaking the excess water off before I do. While I wrestle with the mechanism, Rin stops so abruptly that I take five steps before realizing that she's not with me any more. Stupid umbrella seems to be jammed. This is technically the Neutral Ending; you avoided the catastrophic Bad Ending but didn’t stick the landing, so now you get something in the middle. But a lot of people consider it worse, for good reason. In the Bad Ending, you burn whatever relationship you could’ve had to the ground, but you do so so thoroughly you cut yourself off from further consequences. the ambiguity of the future is irrelevant. The Neutral Ending rubs your face in it. It forces you to acknowledge that you can’t make this ambiguity go away, that not only can you not help her, you may have permanently harmed her trying to help make things less ambiguous. So how do you work with someone like Rin? How do you know how to work with someone like Rin? Funnily enough, we’ve actually covered that in the thread. Think about how people tend to approach disability with a mixture of condescension and contempt. The former comes out as the more brutal and direct forms of ableism: refusing accommodations, discounting their opinions, and manipulation, violence, eugenics. It takes disabled people and attempts to cram them into categories that don’t apply, punishing them when they don’t fit. It looks at the uncertainty inherent to the disabled condition and deems it a personal flaw. So in the Bad Ending Hisao, pushed to his limits, lashes out at Rin for her unpredictability. He blames her for every miscommunication and assumes she’s doing this for her own amusement or out of laziness or whatever. He refuses to take responsibility for his role in events. So she tells him to gently caress off. For good. The latter comes out in the softer and benevolent forms of ableism. Unlike the former approach, it acknowledges the uncertainty. Like it, it views that uncertainty as a fundamentally negative thing. It tries to fix it, whether by encouraging disabled people to ignore it, stepping into their lives to remove it for them, or trying to pin everything down in the belief that tightly defining it will make it go away. It confuses that uncertainty with the negative repercussions of disability, and since the two aren’t always related, it tends to backfire. In the Neutral Ending, while Hisao acknowledges his responsibility, he doesn’t fully wrap his head around what that means. He decides he wants to help and he acknowledges she has control over her own destiny. That’s great! And by trying to pin down her future he just tries to put her in a friendlier box, one that isn’t necessarily any healthier. The Bad Ending feels bad because when Rin finally makes her feelings clear, the feeling is rejection. It feels worse in the Neutral Ending because now she feels betrayal. Hisao came close. He came so close, and he hosed the landing so bad he alienated her from herself. “I'm sure I can become a real artist. But if I do... I might not be able to be me any more." That glimpse of the possibility of success makes it all the more crushing when you fail. The player’s attempt to remove negative possibilities just reveals further, darker ones. Or you can accept that some things are beyond your power and just stick by the person you love. Beyond the random lurching of legislation, beyond the risk of discrimination, being disabled means something abled people take for granted is off-limits to you – and that means anything that relies on whatever is off-limits is also at risk, and things that rely on those are also at risk, in ways even disabled people struggle to understand. Being Deaf not only means you can’t hear conversation, but you can’t hear announcements or warnings and take major risks just trying to cross the street. ADHD doesn’t just make it hard for you to focus, it makes keeping track of all the appointments and bureaucracy you need to jump through to get treatments for it nearly impossible. If you want to understand the social construction of disability in action, here’s where you look: disability disrupts the unquestioned assumptions society runs on in counterintuitive and unpredictable ways, keeping punishment on disabled people for failing to meet expectations that just happened to be impossible. This is what I mean by uncertainty. But instead of trying to ignore or force his way through it, in the Good Ending, Hisao just accepts it’s all beyond his power and offers Rin what support he can. In return, he gets more uncertainty: he still can’t tell what she’s thinking, he still can’t save the exhibition, he still can’t protect her from Nomiya, he still can’t secure her future. It feels like a desperate compromise rather than a victory, closer to the Neutral Ending in other routes then a proper Good Ending. That’s part of why this route hits people so hard, I feel. The rest of the game conditions you to think every route has a happy ending. Not a perfect one, all the Good Endings feature plenty of suffering, but one that’s a lot less ambiguous than Rin’s. But sometimes? It’s not that desperate compromise is sometimes all disabled people can hope for, it’s that desperate compromise is unambiguously better than most of what we’ve been conditioned to accept. And if you can start forcing your way up that ladder, you may very well reach a Good Ending one day that didn’t exist when you started. The ending we got was tragic and fraught, but genuinely hopeful too. It redefines our definition of victory to match reality, then meets it. And isn’t that the goal of this thread? Now, like all good works of art, Rin’s route reaches so deep you can look at it through a bunch of other lenses, too; Nomiya and Sae’s toxic mentorship deserves special attention, as do Rin’s lack of professional support, her actual mental state, and the unexplored nature of Hisao’s relationship to art. I could’ve written a whole other route wrap up (or disability corner) on how profound and destructive the association of disability and art really is, given how much of a role it plays in her route. I could’ve even developed this post further. But the LP’s getting a bit long in the tooth. According to my records, we’re sitting at between 470,000 and 510,000 words for this whole project, depending on what you count. My capstone project in undergrad, the portfolio of every substantial piece of creative writing I’d written in four years of college, sat at about 64,000 words, and that’s with plenty of padding. I did this in eight months. I can keep LPing indefinitely, but I’m wearing out on this topic and I’ll need a break soon. Like, I was GOING to do Summer’s Clover, but I don’t think that’s in the cards anymore. I played through it to see, and it’s not that it’s BAD, it’s better than Shizune, but it’s disjointed and a lot harder to work with on a technical level. Plus… I think I’d recommend KS game to anybody with the same disability as one of the protagonists, with some caveats for Deaf players. I wouldn’t recommend Summer’s Clover to somebody who has narcolepsy with cataplexy. If I had more energy, I couldn’t do it justice, but I don’t, so I won’t. The next route, Lilly’s, possibly my favorite in the game, will be our last. Then, I dunno, something light and stupid for a few weeks before I probably do Doki Doki Blue Skies.
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Jan 9, 2022 18:03
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Falconier111 posted:This is technically the Neutral Ending; you avoided the catastrophic Bad Ending but didn’t stick the landing, so now you get something in the middle. But a lot of people consider it worse, for good reason. Oh, yeah, that's the ending I got accidentally before getting the good ending, and it was so devastating I kinda forgot there was technically a worse one.
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Jan 9, 2022 18:47
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I think the reason this route failed to land for me is, I’m not neurodivergent and I still didn’t find Rin particularly hard to understand so update upon update of Hisao/characters belaboring how absolutely unknowable she is was just exhausting to read. Like yes I get that Hisao is a dumb teenager and this is a big ask for him but this is not rocket science. Just tedious.
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Jan 9, 2022 19:48
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Yeah, I was really enjoying it at the beginning, but over time it just got frustrating. Obviously they're teenagers, but it felt like Hisao made no progress whatsoever towards understanding Rin. She would say a line, then we'd get paragraphs about how weird and unknowable she is, rinse and repeat...It's a valid way to write this kind of relationship, but, yeah. Frustrating. The line about "trying to belong" raised my hackles something fierce, though. She is trying! Dunkass! She keeps saying that she doesn't know how!
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Jan 9, 2022 20:05
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I found it sort of interesting that Rin's route only barely and only slightly touches on her physical disability in favor of going on about how incomprehensible she supposedly is. Like, it comes up in a few scenes, but as an able-bodied person I couldn't name a stretch longer than ten minutes when I'm NOT using my hands - while it's true that these characters don't need to be defined SOLEY by their disabilities, almost every other route touches way more on that girl's specific disability-related struggles, and Rin's route being about being understood seems like 'realizing just how much you take having arms for granted' would be a given as part of that, but? When Rin's route DOES touch on her physical disability it just serves as a reminder about how little it does come up - she needs Emi to help her with her underwear during her period, so it also means that she needs someone to help her with this extremely intimate thing every month until menopause, as well as other things like washing her hair which she wouldn't be able to do with her feet unless she's also a contortionist. But we don't really focus on that - we focus on her art career and her ability to relate to other people and we strongly suggest she's neurodivergent, which obviously makes a strong and complete story by itself... so... why couldn't that just be the character?
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Jan 9, 2022 20:48
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I really don't see what's so bad about that Neutral ending. Rin goes to a prestigious art school where her talents will probably be fostered in a less abusive way, and where she probably won't need to interact with anyone in a way she doesn't want to. Sure, feelings were hurt, but for some people, that's just a fact of life. If you told me I was going to go a day without feeling miserable about something, I'd ask what arrangements you've made for the funeral. Supposedly, the "Good" ending is good because the two people end up in a relationship, but I really don't see it. There's been a big overtone of "I love the idea of you overall, but you need to change these few things about yourself for my satisfaction" to the whole thing that's deeply uncomfortable to me. Humans seem to put the idea of love on a pedestal, saying things like "Love conquers all" or "If you have love, you don't need anything else," and I think anyone looking at it with a modicum of objectivity can see that that's not true at all. The idea makes people try to form relationships or maintain existing relationships even when that's clearly not the best approach. Even after reading this whole story, I see friendship as the best relationship between these two characters, and that doesn't even appear to be an option. What I think is interesting about Rin is that I don't feel like she needs someone to understand what she's talking about. In fact, I think she'd be very disappointed if she met someone who could understand everything she says, at least unless that person could then add a satisfying layer of their own mystery on top of it. It's more about being able to accept that she has very deep thoughts and wants to express them, and being able to respond in some way, whether it makes sense or not. I've known some very eccentric people who were incredibly off-putting due to some strange habits (I don't want to mention specifics for fear that some of those people might read this, but it's fair to say that they would stand out in a crowd), and I tried to largely ignore them at first, but once I got to know them, I found them to have some fascinating ideas. I never really understood those habits, but I never needed to. Like I said upthread, when you're having a conversation just for the purpose of having a conversation, there's no right or wrong - just words and ideas without limits. It's easy to find that if you go out looking for it, but it's nearly impossible to find one person who can always give you that. I don't know whether two such people would get along all that well, but one person who doesn't work that way (not necessarily neurotypical, but just someone without that particular way of thinking) could really get along with one who does, if they make that their goal.
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Jan 9, 2022 21:48
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It's the Good ending because it's the one where Rin gets what she actually wants. The Neutral ending is one where she internalizes that it's not okay to be herself. That is why it's not good. This is just plain text. Rin does not give two shits about "fostering her talents" and never has. Captain Oblivious fucked around with this message at 21:58 on Jan 9, 2022 |
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Jan 9, 2022 21:55
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Captain Oblivious posted:The Neutral ending is one where she internalizes that it's not okay to be herself. That's literally the opposite of how I read it. I read it as her saying "You're trying to make me something I'm not, so for my own sake, I need to get away from you, and that's why I'm doing this."
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Jan 9, 2022 22:30
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Nidoking posted:That's literally the opposite of how I read it. I read it as her saying "You're trying to make me something I'm not, so for my own sake, I need to get away from you, and that's why I'm doing this." The "neutral" ending (I still say it's worse than the normal bad ending) literally has Rin saying that she may need to not be her anymore, and that she's continuing to pursue art not because she wants to, but because Hisao said she should and she trusts his judgment enough to follow it. It's a case of being too reflexively supportive, to the point of encouraging someone else's self-destruction. Sometimes one has to take the other person's needs and limitations into account, and let them know it's okay to give up or back down.
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Jan 9, 2022 22:37
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Eclectic beat me to it but yeah, this one isn't really up to interpretation. This is just directly what Rin tells Hisao and us. She's pursuing art at college because Hisao pushed her to do so, not for herself. She is not getting what she wants, she is becoming who she thinks other people need her to be for her to be acceptable as a person. That's why it's not the good ending.
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Jan 9, 2022 22:42
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Nidoking posted:I really don't see what's so bad about that Neutral ending. Rin goes to a prestigious art school where her talents will probably be fostered in a less abusive way, and where she probably won't need to interact with anyone in a way she doesn't want to. Sure, feelings were hurt, but for some people, that's just a fact of life. If you told me I was going to go a day without feeling miserable about something, I'd ask what arrangements you've made for the funeral. Supposedly, the "Good" ending is good because the two people end up in a relationship, but I really don't see it. There's been a big overtone of "I love the idea of you overall, but you need to change these few things about yourself for my satisfaction" to the whole thing that's deeply uncomfortable to me. Humans seem to put the idea of love on a pedestal, saying things like "Love conquers all" or "If you have love, you don't need anything else," and I think anyone looking at it with a modicum of objectivity can see that that's not true at all. The idea makes people try to form relationships or maintain existing relationships even when that's clearly not the best approach. Even after reading this whole story, I see friendship as the best relationship between these two characters, and that doesn't even appear to be an option. I would not expect a "prestigious art school" to be less stressful and less laser-focused on producing work at the expense of her well-being. And she still isn't sure that's what she wants, she's just decided that since everyone else is saying that's what she needs to do then she has to bury her own desires and go with it. In all likelihood she's going to completely burn out. Remember, this is the same Rin who froze up during the art show in the good end. In the neutral end, she forces herself through it, and I can guarantee she hates every single second of it. But she's choosing to go to art school, with full knowledge that she'll have to do this many, many times going forward, because she doesn't think she has a choice. The "good" end is her realizing that she still doesn't really know what she wants to do, understanding that's OK, and getting together with Hisao because he's not pushing her to make a decision. One of the telling moments for me is when he takes her to see Nomiya after the show. It'd be super easy for him to just let her avoid Nomiya, at least right then. But that confrontation is going to happen at some point, and he can't help her with it directly, so instead he stands by, lets her face the consequences of her actions, and then supports her through the result. That's real good right there. Amidiri posted:I found it sort of interesting that Rin's route only barely and only slightly touches on her physical disability in favor of going on about how incomprehensible she supposedly is. Like, it comes up in a few scenes, but as an able-bodied person I couldn't name a stretch longer than ten minutes when I'm NOT using my hands - while it's true that these characters don't need to be defined SOLEY by their disabilities, almost every other route touches way more on that girl's specific disability-related struggles, and Rin's route being about being understood seems like 'realizing just how much you take having arms for granted' would be a given as part of that, but? They were kind of stuck with the physical disability based on the original pitch on 4Chan. The devs have generally stated that they didn't want to modify the original scope very much, so they were kind of stuck with the design. The problem is there isn't much you can actually do that beyond the obvious physical limitations, and frankly that's kinda boring. I think the author leaned into that in a clever way. Rin does have physical limitations, and they do occasionally limit her. But when she really wants to do something, like paint, she finds a way. Her limitations come more from people assuming that she's not capable of doing things and reading their own preconceptions into her. This shows up explicitly when Nomiya says they'll market her based on her physical disability, and then at the art show where everyone treats her as a novelty and focuses on how impressive it is that she can paint. Realistically, though, the physical motions of painting aren't really the difficult and impressive part: understanding composition, colors, etc is far more important. As far as painting goes, Rin isn't disabled, she just has a different way of painting. There are some things she can't do, but that's true for everyone, and she has people she can trust to help her, like Emi and Hisao. Her (potential) neurodivergence reinforces the same theme, but in a way that's subtler and less hitting-you-over-the-head than it would have been if they'd stuck with just the physical limitations. Rin's perfectly capable of making her own decisions, but people read their own desires into her because they find it hard to communicate with her. Nomiya does it, Sae does it, and Hisao does it. Rin has a different way of thinking which is just as valid as everyone else's, but because it's different everyone treats it as a novelty. Hisao ultimately finds the balance between understanding and supporting her and becomes someone she can rely on to help her when she needs it, while also reinforcing that he's not just a glorified caretaker. So once again you end up with physical limitations reinforcing the themes: everyone has different abilities and limitations. Everyone is capable of making their own decisions and choices, but we all also need help some times. It's always important to have a close friend/partner who you can turn to for support (both physical and emotional). This is a really overarching theme for the whole game and it's really interesting to see how the different routes handle it and use the disabilities to reinforce it. Shizune's kind of an exception since it was handled so clunkily (though I think the seeds are there), and Hanako handles it a bit differently because she isn't actually physically limited, but Emi's route also leans into it hard.
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Jan 9, 2022 22:48
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i'm bad at words, so forgive me if this is nonsensical. another one of the bigger themes of this route as i read it is the value of art, and creativity: rin seems to paint as a form of communication and possibly even therapy -- to express herself in ways that words fail to allow her. the value art, and creation, holds for rin is entirely for herself. But outside forces are telling her that it's not enough to simply "create art": she needs to commodify her creations, sanitize them, make them and herself explainable and valuable to other people in order to justify the time and effort spent creating in the first place -- to society, this is what it means to "be an artist". the struggle between these two sets of values, and rin's attempt (and subsequent failure) to mold herself into that form are achingly familiar to me. between that and her struggles with communication, this route resonates with me a lot
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Jan 9, 2022 23:04
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Amidiri posted:I found it sort of interesting that Rin's route only barely and only slightly touches on her physical disability in favor of going on about how incomprehensible she supposedly is. Like, it comes up in a few scenes, but as an able-bodied person I couldn't name a stretch longer than ten minutes when I'm NOT using my hands - while it's true that these characters don't need to be defined SOLEY by their disabilities, almost every other route touches way more on that girl's specific disability-related struggles, and Rin's route being about being understood seems like 'realizing just how much you take having arms for granted' would be a given as part of that, but? I definitely came away with an understated but present theme around her disability and social detachment from others. Specifically, look to the Neutral ending where she states that, "I can't hug anyone, Hisao. I'm a bad person like that." That conversation shifts back and forth between talking about hugs literally and metaphorically as something she "can't" do. Hugging is a very basic form of physical intimacy meant to show either affection or support depending on context, a gesture that's either romantic or friendly. Not to mention there are a lot of other little gestures of affection and support that people are expected to do with their hands and arms. Hugs, walking arm in arm, a hand on the shoulder, wiping away tears, playing with someone's hair, a lover's regular little touches, holding hands... A whole body of casual physical intimacy that Rin cannot perform as people expect them to be performed. Her physical disability isn't the substance of her social isolation but it definitely underlines it.
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Jan 10, 2022 00:24
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Falconier111 posted:Update 106: Rin, Communication, and Uncertainty That's fair, I abandoned the 1 LP I worked on when I got overwhelmed trying to fix hosed-up images. I do think this LP has been great and has lead to some weird positive changes in my life (I went from 'can barely run for 60s' to 'can pretty easily run 10k in under an hour' in part due to this LP, with obviously some nontrivial help from the running thread etc), and I read not only that fairly decent fanfic you poste but also all currently available 335 chapters of Komi-San (seriously Komi-San Can't Communicate loving rules, highly recommended as a slice of life romance, also really fun for seeing the difference between Japanese and American notions of mental illness/disability), so this has at least been great for me. But I get that it's loving long and that this is a topic that is highly similar to your day job and it kind of sucks to do a dayjob and a hobby that overlap like that. Captain Oblivious posted:I think the reason this route failed to land for me is, I’m not neurodivergent and I still didn’t find Rin particularly hard to understand so update upon update of Hisao/characters belaboring how absolutely unknowable she is was just exhausting to read. I enjoyed the route quite a bit but I'm with you - to my largely neurotypical rear end, Rin was pretty easy to follow. At a certain point it seemed like the person with the communication difficulty, the inability to understand and communicate with others, was Hisao. Rin definitely has trouble with it, but really she just seems frustrated with the inevitable limits that natural language place on our ability to express to others. Hence why she paints, it's less mediated, at least to her. Hisao by contrast is struggling constantly to understand and accept somebody saying "Hold on let me think" in a dozen different ways, as if he doesn't seem to get that different words can mean the same thing. Rin is a less than perfect user of English, Hisao seems to not understand basic principles of natural language. someone awful. posted:i'm bad at words, so forgive me if this is nonsensical. Oh yeah absolutely. She's being put between two different ideas of what an artist is - Hisao thinks of an artist as a person with a skill, Nomiya is talking about the artist as a career or vocation. She's not on track to being a gallery artist in the sense of being able to pay her bills off of what she sells. I mean tbh I don't know how totally derailed she is, I've known a few artists and career hiccups are pretty common, but she's not going to hit that stride in the next year or so. But regardless I think she is doing art because her thoughts and feelings exceed her command of English.
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Jan 10, 2022 00:30
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someone awful. posted:i'm bad at words, so forgive me if this is nonsensical. I can relate to this so much. I'm not an artist like Rin exactly, but I do write. Writing professionally is pain. Creative writing is a mixed bag. You get very few people that understand what you're trying to say. Usually your crappiest work gets the most amount of praise for some reason.
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Jan 10, 2022 00:59
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Nidoking posted:What I think is interesting about Rin is that I don't feel like she needs someone to understand what she's talking about. In fact, I think she'd be very disappointed if she met someone who could understand everything she says, at least unless that person could then add a satisfying layer of their own mystery on top of it. This is the opposite of my reading, where Rin is constantly trying to make herself understood to others, but is unable to articulate things in a way that they can understand. I think there's a pretty fundamental human need to be understood by others, and the fact that Rin struggles so much with it is a core part of what defines her in this story.
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Jan 10, 2022 02:25
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Cobalt-60 posted:Don't remember the sex scene being so...integral to the plot. Not that any of them have been extraneous so far (well, some more than others). Yeah, I noticed that too. I wrote the rest of the update first before going back to add the sex scene content and was startled to find my understanding of the ending shifting. I don’t know what everyone else thinks, but I’m finding it interesting how they almost always have a role to play in character development: Emi’s reflects how she’s progressed from intense emotionally detached fun (let’s try anal in the shed!) to something gentler and emotionally closer, Hanako’s shows her taking charge (despite all the issues involved), Rin’s show the difference between her needing a release from the intensity of her own experience and experiencing it as something unique and shared. Even Shizune’s, for all that they happen out of the blue, encapsulate how her attitudes around consent have shifted. Fakeedit: noticed I didn’t clarify what I meant by “posting it a day early”, Lilly’s first update goes up on Wednesday.
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Jan 10, 2022 04:51
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TooMuchAbstraction posted:This is the opposite of my reading, where Rin is constantly trying to make herself understood to others, but is unable to articulate things in a way that they can understand. No, that's exactly what I said. Rin is trying to make herself understood, not the things she's saying. Her words don't convey her and are not the thing she wants understood.
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Jan 10, 2022 05:10
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I'm pretty sure I got the bad ending there and not the neutral ending, because I remember it being quite abrupt - and taking me completely by surprise. It's the only bad ending I got in Katawa Shoujo. From memory I had different dialogue options, though - due to the complexity of Rin's route, I guess. The two dialogue options I had were extremely similarly worded, and in fact seemed to me to be effectively the same response in both cases, just with very slightly different wording. However one of them instantly gave me the bad end. The other carried me through to the good end. I was annoyed at that one! It felt like it was saying that any "success" or "failure" in Hisao and Rin's relationship was essentially random, because their ability to communicate was random. Almost like both Hisao and Rin were both reacting randomly to what the other said. I assumed at the time that it was intentional - meant to echo mechanically the difficulty they had communicating - but it still didn't feel great.
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Jan 10, 2022 09:49
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Karia posted:I would not expect a "prestigious art school" to be less stressful and less laser-focused on producing work at the expense of her well-being. I know someone who went to Parsons School of Design in New York. It was apparently insanely cutthroat in a way that would make a lawyer blush. Stealing resources from others, project sabotage, the works.
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Jan 10, 2022 13:30
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 Interviews with Monster Girls, Episode 5: "Snow Woman-chan is Cold" (Pt. 1)  We open on Yuki in the bathtub, looking depressed. She cups some water in her hand and looks at it. At first she sees her face reflected in the warm bathwater…  … Then a massive gemstone of ice in her hands, her bath frozen over and the tub lined with rime.  Her whole bathroom is blue with fog and frost, a reflection of her in her mirror adorned in traditional Snow Woman attire. An icicle seems to melt and drop into the water, waking her from her reverie. She plunges her head beneath the water, looking like she’s going to start screaming. Which means it’s a perfect time to cover this anime’s aggressively cheerful opening!   As whimsical piano plays in the background and a woman starts singing at the tip-top of her register, Takahashi pulls books out of a bookcase. One seems stuck and he starts yanking on it, but he manages to pull it so hard the whole bookcase tips over. It doesn’t collapse on him and kill him, fortunately – he can hold it up with his mighty thews – but it barfs a few books onto his head to punish him.  Title screen! Specifically, the title written on the cover of a book, which spins around, falls over, and opens into a pop-up book. Each character walks next to their spread, acts, and moves off in time for the next one, their seiyuu having sung a couple lines in the meantime.  First comes a comically anime version of stereotypical vampire country, complete with cartoon bats, coffins, and a floating cross with a frowny face on it. Hikari shows up in a cape and tries to pull off some classic vampire villainous charisma…   … Then excitedly spins and starts flapping her cape like wings.  We briefly cut to her walking through the rain on a gray day before looking curiously to the side.   The page turns and we get an image of an empty carriage pulled by a headless horse along the banks of a raging river. Kyouko walks calmly over from the side, her head in her hands.  She bows politely, then cheerfully presents her head to the side.  Another quick cut away to her on that rainy day, paying attention in class with her head on a cushion before she tilts it to look out of the window curiously.   Now we flip to a house and tree in a snow globe, itself surrounded by snowy woods. Yuki stands quietly, looking perturbed.  Her body phases from right to left across the screen, each phase looking more and more distraught.  We see her reading in the light of that rainy day for a split second.  Now Satou, who gets… A woman draped extravagantly across a bed surrounded by red curtains with a horse poking its head through them. Were you expecting a reference to a 250-year-old painting of a woman experiencing an erotic nightmare in your fluffy anime about disabled teenagers? Neither was I! The only element missing is the sex demon squatting on the woman’s chest.   A cutout of Satou tarted up like a fantasy succubus promptly drops down, much to her horror, and she rushes to cover up the camera.   The music crescendos and we get a brief image of a tossed-away umbrella before we see Hikari grabbing Kyouko and Yuki and dragging them outside.    She lines them up in the puddle-covered school courtyard and has them jump together, all smiles.  Bubble cut (as in the cut is masked by bubbles) to Takahashi laboriously putting the books back into the bookshelf.   Satou walks past him in the hallway, then herself looks off curiously – this time into blinding sunlight.   In the courtyard, Himari’s sighing in exasperation as Hikari, who apparently flubbed the landing, sits in a puddle…  … And busts out laughing. The other girls join her, to Himari’s dismay.     Several more shots of the characters enjoying their daily lives, and end intro. Nice, sweet, and lays out the core of how the characters work before you even start watching. I like it! Keep in mind Yuki’s section of the opening; we’ll be coming back to it.   We open the episode proper on snapshots of Yuki through the start of her high school career, looking gradually more depressed as she narrates in the background. Apparently, she’s spent the whole time at school deliberately isolating herself; she was so afraid of her nature as a snow woman causing other people issues she avoided even approaching other people. … This episode’s gonna have a particularly long coda, isn’t it.   You can’t really keep this sort of things silent forever, though. Remember when we first saw her in the first episode, when she was babbling about being a snow woman on the way to the nurse? She overheated in gym class one day, bad enough that she fell to her knees. One of those two boys from earlier, the one that felt like he walked past someone sexy, came up to her to ask whether she was all right, so she blurted out that she was a snow woman and would quickly get over being overheated the four she passed out. He and his buddy then tossed her on a stretcher and hauled rear end to the nurse’s office. Importantly, she specifically said it when he reached out to touch her.  We cut to Takahashi’s office, where his interview with Yuki just started.   The first thing he asks is if she’s been hiding that for her whole life, and she answers with a strong “no”. Back in middle school (when she lived in a different part of the country), she was pretty open about it and considered it a minor part of her life; she specifically mentions she only emitted cold air when she was upset or cried ice instead of tears back then. So Takahashi asks the obvious question: what changed?   She did NOT handle the move well, spiraling down into (perfectly mundane) anxiety about making friends and fitting in. One day she was obsessing over this in the bath when she hit a breaking point; she compares it to wishing she could have dissolved away in the hot water like something out of a fairytale. Then she felt something odd, and opened her eyes to find little bits of ice floating in the bath. It scared the poo poo out of her.    While the ice may have melted away moments later, she’d managed to flash-freeze hot water just because she was worried about making friends. What would have happened if she’d done that human flesh? She’s self-aware enough to know that just elevated her stress levels, so now she genuinely doesn’t know whether she’s dangerous to other people.  Takahashi leans straight into scientist mode, asking her about her bathing habits – as in, and details about the water itself, this anime can’t help itself with him asking uncomfortable questions before backpedaling. They go back and forth for a bit, but the most interesting thing to come out is that Yuki largely lacks sweat glands; she has a few and they do work, but for the most part she just doesn’t sweat (probably why she overheated).   The bell rings and she hurries off to her next class, but not before Takahashi asks her to come back after school. He clearly has an idea.   On the way to class, Yuki bumps into Hikari and Kyouko. The two basically try to hold her in as their friend, chatting about Takahashi and inviting her to eat lunch with them and go out for ice cream after school, but… Well, we just covered why she gives them a strained “I’ll think about it”.  The next couple minutes just show Yuki going about her daily life with dismay while Takahashi does research in the background, everything from reading up on the old folk tales to researching how the gently caress a human body spits out ice without hurting itself.  School ends, Yuki heads back to the prep room, and Takahashi presents his findings, starting with folklore (complete with paper cutout animation to set it apart). Every snow woman story he found shared a basic pattern; a snow woman approaches a man in an isolated place and asks him for a favor. If he refuses, he gets hurt; if he accepts, she disappears and he still gets hurt.  Takahashi trails off midsentence when he realizes this is having the opposite of the intended effect…  … Then glances down to realize she’s emitting cold there again. Turns out? Her feet get cold when she’s nervous. Confident he’s on to something, he asks her to stay put and goes for a walk.  Whatever theory he’s drawing up, he’s worried the implications might hurt her – but he also wants her not to be afraid of herself, and he thinks her through it is more than worth the risk. A little while later, he reenters the room with a big ol’ hot water footbath, the kind of thing you see people with colds using in old cartoons.   He has her put her feet in the bath, gives her a composition book with some tragic snow woman stories in it, and asks her to read them out loud. He makes it clear up front that this will NOT be a pleasant process, but insists she do it anyway. And so, Yuki reads a couple stories of snow women and the people around them meeting terrible fates, complete with paper cut out-style animations. As time passes, he looks increasingly distraught, she looks increasingly closed off, and the cold air effect around her feet grows more and more intense. Finally he cracks and tells her to stop, then glances down again.  There is ice in the foot bath. Takahashi noticed snow woman legends revolve around negative emotions – anxiety, pain, shock, fear – and Yuki’s situation back that up. He had her subject herself to that to get her emotional state as low as he could bear in a controlled environment where he could observe the results.    He doesn’t think she caused the ice to form around her feet; at her coldest, she couldn’t even significantly drop the temperature of the hot water bath (which is still steaming). That ice is flop sweat, emitted from the soles of her feet when she’s experiencing extreme stress. That was the odd sensation she felt in the bath; she sweats so rarely she didn’t recognize the feeling of that frozen sweat coming out.   In Takahashi’s professional opinion (as much as “professional” applies after something that ethically dubious), Yuki’s nature as a snow woman cannot injure another person. She’s perfectly safe to be around others.   Yuki’s so overwhelmed with gratitude she burst out crying.
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Jan 11, 2022 04:33
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Turns out, there’s an unofficial HD patch for the game that makes it playable at 1920x1080p (for context, right now I’m operating off 800x600). I’m not inclined to try and get that patch working now, it’s a little late and I don’t know if bigger images would actually help anything, but I’d love to hear your input.
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Jan 11, 2022 20:56
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What we have right now has been working fine, so I say don't rock the boat.
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Jan 11, 2022 22:15
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Plus I feel like at the resolution of the images per update, having to scale down the HD version wouldn't make a notable difference to what we have right now, or at least notable enough to go through the effort.
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Jan 11, 2022 23:03
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IIRC, there's a size limit on screenshots for the LP Archive, also. I don't know the exact numbers but 1920x1080 definitely exceeds it. I don't think any benefits of raising the resolution (if any; I don't think it looks bad now) would outweigh being able to have this archived.
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Jan 12, 2022 00:36
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Explopyro posted:IIRC, there's a size limit on screenshots for the LP Archive, also. I don't know the exact numbers but 1920x1080 definitely exceeds it. I don't think any benefits of raising the resolution (if any; I don't think it looks bad now) would outweigh being able to have this archived. The size limit is 900px or less wide. I vote for keeping it as is.
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Jan 12, 2022 04:05
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The current screenshot size is fine to me.
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Jan 12, 2022 10:11
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Update 107: Promise of Time (Act 1 (Lilly)) Once more with even more feeling. Lilly’s route is so similar to Hanako’s I can cover all the differences in one update. Go back to Update 36 and keep reading to the choice early in Update 39. Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight .png) There's got to be something to do that can kill the time... >Go for a walk into town. >Go to the library. We need the exercise, I think. =>Go for a walk into town. Following Hanako to the library seems a bit intrusive. There was a reason she left the classroom, after all. And that aside, I do want to catch up with Lilly. At the very least, I'd like to thank her for looking out for me despite her other, obviously taxing, duties. I guess I'll walk around town. With any luck, I should be able to find Lilly. The exercise'll do me some good, as well. Katawa Shoujo OST - Afternoon .png) Walking through the school courtyard to the gate, I give a small nod to a couple of passing classmates, the gesture being returned in kind. Even from here, the shouts of the sports club members can be heard. From the sheer volume of the din, the track must be packed right now. I remember what Lilly said yesterday about being dropped right into the middle of a busy time for the school. While I'm trying to get my bearings and catch up on study that I've missed, everyone else is doing normal school activities. The feeling of being a foreigner still hasn't dissipated. At least, not yet. Well, I guess not everything's bad. This is a private school, and that much is easily noticed when walking around outside. Not only are the school grounds huge, but the buildings themselves are immaculate and quite divorced from the dime-a-dozen concrete blocks of public schools. There's also the fact that there's a much stronger feeling of community here, or at least a friendlier atmosphere. At my old school, it was generally accepted that people would keep to their little clique and be done with it. Eventually I reach the gate, and begin to walk down the road and into town. .png) Well, that was fairly productive. Having seen a fair portion of town, even including the houses perched on the hills around the outskirts, I decide to take a walk around the park before heading back. Living in the city all my life, the total lack of smartly-dressed businessmen and fashionably-dressed girls strikes me as incredibly unusual. All that's to be seen are the odd elderly person shuffling along the sidewalk and assorted busily chatting pairs of middle-aged women outside of small storefronts. Walking along the road to the park quickly distracts me from them, though, making me realize that I perhaps pushed myself further than I should have done to see as much as I could. As my breath begins to wheeze and my chest tightens more and more, I give up on the prospect of soldiering on. (Silence, Nature Sounds) .png) After a quick glance around the park as I enter, I take a seat on a wobbly old bench that I notice near a couple of vending machines. For minutes on end I sit with my head bent over, forcing myself to take deep breaths. I feel more like an old man than a teenager who should be in the prime of his life. The stay in hospital, the surgery and the medications must be taking their toll on me. Dammit. Eventually, my breathing returns to normal and the muscles in my chest loosen, not without a fair measure of relief. I guess this means the end of my little sojourn though, in any case. There's a café on the far corner, so I'll stop by to quench my thirst before heading back. Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles A little bell above the door signals my arrival to an empty counter. For a few moments I stand there waiting, my eyes every now and again drifting from one end of the counter to the other searching for a service bell. Eventually a door some ways behind the counter opens, the person emerging from it taking me by complete surprise. .png)  HISAO: "Yu... Yuuko? Hi, I had no idea you worked here." I really have no idea how to address her either, given that she is technically school staff as well as, apparently, a waitress.  YUUKO: "Ah, yes, um..." She quickly paces up to the counter, before flinging her upper half downwards in an overacted bow. YUUKO: "Welcome to the Shanghai! May I take your order?" Straight down to business, I see. HISAO: "I don't know... well, some coffee, please?" YUUKO: "Yes, certainly. I'll make it right away and bring it to you when it's done." HISAO: "Uh, thanks." Yuuko's formality takes me aback. She seems to take her job very seriously. Obeying her instructions, I turn around and quickly glance around for a free table. Considering the café seems to be empty, this is a simple task to accomplish. As I walk towards a table adjacent to the window, I notice a flash of yellow around one of the table dividers. .png) Sure enough, no more than a glance is needed to ascertain that it's a certain Satou at the table. That said, I don't recognize the suited figure across the table from her. Blonde, fair-skinned and only a little shorter, he... she? I think she, must be a relative. Since the two are all but silent as the suited figure takes a swig from a cup of coffee, I decide to greet Lilly. Some part of my coming here was in order to meet her, after all. HISAO: "Hi, Lilly."  LILLY: "...Hisao?" HISAO: "Yeah. Nice to see you again." The suited girl looks up, noting my uniform with a relaxed smile.  AKIRA: "Know each other?" HISAO: "I... guess." It's as good an approximation of our relationship as I can think of. LILLY: "Hmm... care to take a seat?" She says this to the air beside me, but the message is clear enough and I take a seat beside her. LILLY: "I suppose some introductions might be in order. Hisao, this is Akira Satou, my older sister. Akira, this is Hisao Nakai, another Yamaku student." Looks like my guess was correct. The newly-introduced Akira gives a nod, which I return. What I don't return, however, is the almost analytical gaze with which she looks me over. As she does so, Yuuko walks up to the table and carefully places the coffee on the table before bowing and taking her leave. Gently bringing my hand to the side of the cup, I realize that it's already at just the right temperature to drink. After taking a sip, the flavor turns out to be just as good as the temperature. Yuuko seems a lot better at this than being a librarian. I take a good, long drink before relaxing into the seat. It takes mere seconds for Akira's examination to come to an end. Apparently becoming quickly bored with the activity, she turns to her sister. AKIRA: "So, how's school recently?" It seems Akira is entirely unconcerned with someone she doesn't know at all listening to everything they say. Not that I mind. Leaving them to their chatting, I sit back and continue drinking the pleasantly aromatic coffee. AKIRA: "Sounds like it's pretty busy for ya, then." LILLY: "At least I'm not cooking your meals after school anymore." As they talk, I slowly realize that I'm entirely unable to gauge Lilly's emotions through her eyes; as I would for any other person. It becomes slightly unsettling as I subconsciously focus on that fact. AKIRA: "Whoa, so cold. Weren't ya just cooking for yourself anyway? I only ever got leftovers." LILLY: "That's not the point... are you managing to feed yourself, at least?" AKIRA: "I can cook without blowing myself up, you know. Mostly." LILLY: "That's..." AKIRA: "Hahaha! It's fine, it's fine. I needed to learn sometime anyway." YUUKO: "Ah, Lilly?" Everyone present is momentarily distracted by Yuuko, who places a cup of tea on the table for Lilly. Taking the moment to glance at her watch, Akira levers herself off her seat and gives me a quick nod. AKIRA: "Well, I'd better be off. It was nice talking to ya, Lilly." LILLY: "Akira, do you have to..." Lilly looks genuinely mournful at her sister suddenly leaving. It does seem like she might have the wrong idea. AKIRA: "Sorry, I need to get back to work. They'll be on my neck again if I don't make it back quickly." So informal... Akira's trim and tidy appearance would give anyone the wrong impression of her. LILLY: "Bye, Akira..." AKIRA: "C'mon, don't look so down. I'll be around again soon. Seeyas." With that, she waltzes out of the Shanghai with her hand held high. .png) Lilly still looks pretty depressed, so I try to make some small talk in an effort to take her mind off it. HISAO: "She seems nice." LILLY: "We used to live together, but now that I live at school we hardly ever see each other." Despite Lilly having been quite affable, I still don't really know much about her. In hindsight, it's surprising just how much she's extracted from me, really. HISAO: "You used to live together? Was it somewhere around here?" LILLY: "It was pretty far south, so the trip into Yamaku was fairly long. With her working hours getting longer and Yamaku being so far away, there was little choice in the end but to move into the dormitories." Well, that explains the chatter about cooking. Evidently regaining her composure, she livens back up... at least, in part. LILLY: "I take it you're better rested, now?" HISAO: "Sorry?" LILLY: "You sound less exhausted than you did when you first came in." To be able to pick out my breathing like that... she must have pretty good ears. HISAO: "Yeah. Ended up walking all over town, despite only planning on taking a short walk down here." Reminded of my thirst from the walk, I lean forward to take a sip. Without further ado, Lilly starts on her cup of strong-smelling tea. I guess I'd better get going back to Yamaku. There's only so long I can stall studying for, and I want to get a good night's sleep before the festival. Standing from my seat, I take the coffee-stained cup from the table. LILLY: "You're leaving?" HISAO: "Yeah. You going to head back as well? It's getting kind of late." For a moment she pauses, before lifting her face over her teacup as if she was looking at me. Katawa Shoujo OST - Concord (Lilly’s Theme) .png) LILLY: "Yuuko, could we have one more coffee please?" YUUKO: "Okay, I'll bring it right away!" HISAO: "That's... not subtle." She gives a short giggle at my frank assessment of her maneuver. It's surprisingly childish and carefree, given her otherwise collected appearance. In the end, though, I have little reason to refuse. To be honest I can hardly say no, all things considered. Giving a manufactured sigh, I take a seat opposite her. HISAO: "Wanting company, then?" LILLY: "Hmm... I'd say that it's more that I was wondering..." I see she's in questioning mode, again. She does seem to be unusually interested in me, or at least curious. LILLY: "Do you have any siblings?" Not exactly an unexpected tangent. HISAO: "No, only child. To be honest, the idea of having someone that close makes me a bit envious." LILLY: "Interesting..." I raise an eyebrow, which of course goes unseen. The short silence communicates the question well enough. LILLY: "It's just that others have said the same thing before. It's a difficult subject to try and think about objectively, given that I've always had someone like that." I can mostly understand what Lilly means, given that it would be hard to place oneself outside of a situation they've been in all their life. She and her sister must have a pretty close relationship. Taking pains to interrupt us as little as possible, Yuuko dutifully comes over and places a cup on the table. Lilly thanks her as I sit back, taking in this vexing girl in front of me. Despite always seeming to be on her guard and in control of herself when talking to others, she has an almost childlike curiosity about other people. That said, those rare moments she seems to slightly lower her guard are the most insightful into how she thinks. Reaching forward for my drink, I realize something I probably should've noticed earlier. ...I think I'm starting to become kind of curious about her. (Silence, Crickets and Cicadas) .png) Despite making a good pace, it's already nightfall by the time I reach the large iron gates in front of the school. While it's nice to have plenty of time to wander around by virtue of living right next to the school, I can't help but get the feeling that very few students actually take the opportunity. Compared to the number of students I see milling around on-campus during free time, it's startlingly rare to see anyone around town. Given the large number of accommodations and facilities that the school offers, many of them might simply not see any point in venturing outside, let alone people such as Hanako and Kenji. It makes me wonder if students like Shizune, Misha, and Lilly are the exception for this school, rather than the norm. (Silence, Crickets and Cicadas Stop) As I wander back to my dorm room, I continue to compare my old school with Yamaku. As I do so, I begin to be surprised that I managed to get even this used to everything that's happened to me. Back to Update 39. Find the part where I bring up Don’t Panic (just after Hanako says good night) and keep reading; Lilly and Hanako don’t get separate Kenji dialogue is. They even share the first half of their festival scene. The point of divergence isn’t particularly obvious, especially starting from Hanako’s route. Go down to near the end of that update, after Hisao gets his soup from Lilly. I’ve included the first part of the paragraph where things split up for reference. Katawa Shoujo OST - Ease (Crowd Sounds) It seems the teacher's mission paid off: there are now over a dozen students helping, and much of the unpacking has been done. Despite most of them seeming quite relaxed as they work, Lilly still appears to be somewhat stressed. (Silence, Crowd Sounds Continue) …Right. I know what I'll do. Even if it's just one person, I'll make the festival more enjoyable for her. As I place the bowl on the counter, I call out to Lilly. LILLY: "Ah, Hisao. You brought it back?" HISAO: "Yeah, here." I slide it into her hands, and she takes it over to someone who is apparently on cleaning duty. Considering that I didn't see them here before, it's probably a penalty for their tardiness. HISAO: "Hey, Lilly?" She perks up and returns to the counter as she hears my voice again, realizing that I'm still here. HISAO: "Want to go see some more of the festival?" Katawa Shoujo OST - Everyday Fantasy (Crowd Sounds Continue) .png) She puffs her cheeks disapprovingly. It looks kind of cute, and in complete contradiction to her usually reserved nature. It takes a few seconds for me to get what she's taking issue with. Whoops. HISAO: "Ah... um, I didn't mean to..." Lilly giggles at me, exposing her teasing for what it is. LILLY: "You're still not used to the school, are you?" She got me. LILLY: "Still... I kind of need to stay with our stall. It's taken until just now to even get everything unpacked." I guess her reluctance shouldn't overly surprise me, considering how much work she's put into this. HISAO: "Everything seems to be running fine now, though. Besides, you've got extra help on hand, anyway." A boy in the middle of cooking some soba noodles turns towards us, grinning. STUDENT: "Go on Lils, you've earned yourself a break. We can hold down the fort, for now." LILLY: "If you say it's okay, then I suppose so... But, if you need any help—" STUDENT: "Then we'll call you. Go on, we'll be fine." Lilly finally gives up her resistance as he waves a spatula at her. She feels her way around the back of the stall, and picks up her cane on the way. I guess the first thing we should do is look for Hanako. Lilly seems kind of worried about her, and I doubt she'd be the kind of person to enjoy milling about in crowds like this, all alone. HISAO: "So, I guess we should search for Hanako. Where to, first?" LILLY: "Hmm..." The both of us go quiet for a moment to think. HISAO: "Maybe she's in her dorm room?" LILLY: "I doubt it. She doesn't keep too many things in there, so she'd have nothing to do. ...Ah! The library?" As good a place as any to search for an avid reader, I suppose. HISAO: "The library it is. We'll check there first, then. Katawa Shoujo OST - Everyday Fantasy (Muffled Crowd Sounds) Aside from the muffled sounds of the crowd seeping in from outside, the inside of the school seems almost deserted. In order to make sure everyone had enough room, I guess all the events were organized to be held outside, on school grounds. They're definitely quite large, by any other school's standards. .png) LILLY: "It's nice and quiet in here, isn't it?" HISAO: "Yeah. Much nicer than the hustle and bustle outside." We take our time and slowly walk through the first floor of the school, eventually reaching the stairs to the second floor. I can't help but notice how Lilly anticipates every door and obstacle, her cane remaining still and her hand skating along the hallway railings. HISAO: "You really know the school well, don't you?" She smiles and nods straight ahead. LILLY: "I've been here for a few years now, so I know where everything is. The dorms still trip me up though, sometimes. I haven't been there as long, and they're not as well laid-out as the main building. If I'm remembering right, they used to be unused buildings before being renovated and used as dormitories." That explains why the male and female dorms looked different from the outside, and why their rooms seem kind of unusual for sleeping quarters. I'd assumed she'd been living in the dormitories since she began attending the school, but now I'm reminded of what she said yesterday. HISAO: "That's right, you mentioned that before. I'd assumed that most of the students here lived in the dormitories once they enrolled. A lot of them seem to, in any case." Lilly's expression becomes somewhat harder to read, my questioning evidently touching on a delicate point. LILLY: "Well... How should I say... Everyone... has their reasons." Something tells me that one of those with “reasons” is Hanako, hence her tiptoeing around the answer. My own predicament is yet another such case. I guess it's a choice everyone here would have to make for themselves... or, in my instance, have made for them. HISAO: "It can't be helped, I suppose. At least Yamaku itself seems like a nice place." LILLY: "It's good to hear you say that. I'd thought you were coming to dislike it." HISAO: "What about you, though?" My reversal of Lilly's statement takes her by surprise. LILLY: "I've been here for a while, so..." HISAO: "It's not that. You just seemed pretty depressed about Akira." LILLY: "Hmm~" HISAO: "What's with that look?" LILLY: "Akira's taken. Sorry, Hisao." Lilly never sees how fast my palm meets my face at her sly accusation. HISAO: "Hey, I was worried about you. That's no way to respond to concern." While she gives an amused grin, we round the corner of the hallway and enter the library. .png) As we do so, it isn't hard to spot Hanako, considering that the room is completely devoid of anyone else. Given that there are no staff around, I guess there's no need to heed the usual library rules. I call out to her. HISAO: "Hey, Hanako." LILLY: "Hanako is here?" As she hears our voices, Hanako's head flicks up from behind a book, probably the same one she'd been reading on Friday.  HANAKO: "Hisao... Lilly?" HISAO: "Just thought we'd drop by. Lilly just managed to escape from the noodle stall, with a little help." LILLY: "That wasn't really an escape..." Hanako gives a small giggle, briefly surprising both of us. HANAKO: "I just thought that... Lilly might not be enjoying the festival." HISAO: "Well, now we can enjoy it together, right?" The two nod happily before we set out of the library and towards the festivities. (Silence, Crickets and Cicadas) .png) I hand over some change to the girl behind the counter, and take the two styrofoam cups of tea. I try to accentuate my bow a bit to cover for the fact that she's quite obviously deaf. Come to think of it, I probably should have asked for help instead of leaving those two in the gardens while I bought drinks. Trying to juggle the two cups of hot tea (for them) and a can of coffee (for myself, out of a vending machine) isn't exactly easy. .png) With some careful maneuvering, though, I manage to keep everything stable and upright as I walk over to the bench where Lilly and Hanako are sitting and chatting. It's actually quite a nice place. Lit only by moonlight, it's tucked away some distance from the main events. Compared to how hot it had been during the day, this spot is also pleasantly cool by now. Not that it matters all that much. Most of the visitors have moved to areas that are either closer to the fireworks, or higher on the hill in order to view the display apparently planned. LILLY: "Welcome back, Hisao." Her ears are good. I'm not exactly close and even Hanako hadn't noticed me. HISAO: "Here you go. Sorry it's instant, but that's all they had left by now." Hanako gingerly takes a cup from my right hand, and I gently place the other into Lilly's outstretched hands. LILLY: "Did you enjoy the festival then, Hisao?" HISAO: "Yeah, it was pretty fun." An honest answer. Much of the food may have been somewhat subpar, but it was a lot of fun in the end, especially with Hanako and Lilly. In fact, I think those two may have enjoyed themselves even more than I did. With both Lilly and I around, much of Hanako's withdrawn nature around others died down enough for her to enjoy herself. The screen flashes into a scene transition. It keeps flashing irregularly through the rest of the scene. Katawa Shoujo OST - Aria De l’Etoile (Fireworks) .png) As we sit drinking, the whistle of the first firework rings out before it explodes into a vibrant shower of blue against the night sky, heralding the beginning of the end for the festival. Enthusiastic shouts can be heard from the crowds scattered around the school grounds celebrating them. For minutes on end, Hanako and I watch the fireworks overhead as Lilly blissfully listens to them with her eyes shut. Red, green, yellow, star-shaped, circular and patterned, and all manner of shapes and colors fill the air, one after the other, and dance across the sky. No place near where I lived put on such lavish displays. Festivals like this were a thing of the past in such a metropolitan area. To be seeing such a sight with these two... it's probably the happiest I've been in a long while. LILLY: "So... that's it. The festival's finally ending." HISAO: "Yeah." She gives a delicate, wistful sigh. LILLY: "As much as I might complain about all the stuff we have to do, it's still sad that we'll have graduated before the next Yamaku festival." .png) I walk forwards and stand beside Lilly, gently resting a hand on her shoulder. HISAO: "Don't worry. We still have Tanabata later in the year, right?" LILLY: "You're right. It would be nice to go there when it comes." Minutes of silence pass, with only the blasts of the fireworks to be heard. Seeing these two reminds me of those words of advice Lilly had given me as we walked into town together. “Cherish the opportunity to make new friends”, huh? HISAO: "Hey, Lilly?" She turns her head slightly to show that she's listening, Hanako's gaze still firmly fixed on the technicolor fireworks bursting overhead. HISAO: "You mind if I join you two for tea every now and again?" The smile on her face is more than enough to see her answer. .png) LILLY: "It would be a pleasure, Hisao." END OF ACT 1
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Jan 12, 2022 14:57
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Yay, my favorite route!
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Jan 12, 2022 15:11
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Hisao calling Lilly "vexing" is pretty funny after seeing Rin's route. I'm looking forward to this one.
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Jan 12, 2022 15:35
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Falconier111 posted:Update 107: Promise of Time (Act 1 (Lilly)) I know that Hisao changes with each route and that it was quite noticeable how the internal monolog became more Rin like last route but christ really coming out swinging Is there an explanation for why Akira and Lilly have such different mannerisms? I have brothers and while we have very different values, politics, and temperaments, we all more or less sound the same.
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Jan 12, 2022 15:50
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Tulip posted:I know that Hisao changes with each route and that it was quite noticeable how the internal monolog became more Rin like last route but christ really coming out swinging That can happen between siblings. I know that my sister and I, despite being very similar in age, act and sound very different from each other. So much so that most people thought we were cousins instead of sisters. We even have slightly different accents from each other thanks to a move. I kept the original and she ended up with the new one.
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Jan 12, 2022 16:25
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Tulip posted:Is there an explanation for why Akira and Lilly have such different mannerisms? I have brothers and while we have very different values, politics, and temperaments, we all more or less sound the same. Their respective perspectives will eventually be explored, yes.
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Jan 12, 2022 16:27
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Update 108: Earl Grey (Act 2, Scenes 1-2) Teatime, fast forward - Katawa Shoujo OST/Cinematic .png) .png) Lilly gently brushes her hand across the table before bumping into and picking up a teacup..png) .png) .png) Alone in her and Hanako’s breakroom, she smoothly prepares her tea and pours it, all without glancing down. .png) We cut to a distant shot of a jet flying over the Shanghai. .png) .png) Lilly and Hisao (in school uniform) walk out with Akira, waving goodbye to her as they walk in different directions. .png) .png) The screen fuzzes with static as Akira’s back seems to change to Lilly’s for just a moment. .png) .png) As the jet flies overhead, Lilly stops, much to Hisao’s confusion. .png) .png) .png) She takes his face in her hands as the wind blows. .png) .png) The leaves going past them cover the screen for a moment as it transitions somewhere else; the two are now in casual clothing, standing in a field in a summer sunset. .png) She still holds his face. They lean into each other. .png) We return to the tea room and see Lilly’s face reflected in the cup in her lap, the liquid the same deep amber as the sky. .png) .png) But of course, she’s actually just facing forward. She closes her eyes and raises the cup to her lips. .png) (Silence) I wake to the annoying din of my alarm clock, its bright red numerals lighting up my face. Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles It's the same alarm clock I had at home, one of the few remaining artifacts from my days before coming to Yamaku. I'd hoped that using it would help ease my transition into this new life. No such luck, though. Groggily dragging myself out of bed, I wipe the sleep out of my eyes, then reach over to my desk. I open a couple of the bottles of medication strewn across it, and swallow a few pills dry. By now, the process is starting to become automatic - something I should be glad for, given their purpose. Feeling much more awake than before, I wander into the bathroom. While the shower warms up, my mind begins to wander as my new daily routine begins once again. The bright colors of the fireworks fill my mind, as do the two girls with whom I spent my time watching them. It feels strange to be moved so much by people I know so little about. Then again, I suppose these aren't normal circumstances. At least I have someone to talk to, now, aside from my schoolmate next door. With the time left before school begins today waning, I begin to get ready for class. Walking through the door into the classroom, I notice that I'm still somewhat early. I see about five or six students milling around, most of them looking as if they'd rather be still in bed. It's at times like this that I appreciate being a morning person. That said, two students in particular seem just as perky as always. HISAO: "Hi Shizune, hi Misha." .png) I suddenly realize that my greeting would be lost on the former, so I quickly follow it up with a wave. She doesn't seem overly bothered. Or interested, for that matter.  SHIZUNE: "..."  MISHA: "Hello, Hicchan~! Are you feeling well?" I can only assume her greeting comes from Shizune. It's hard to tell if she's speaking as herself or Shizune, sometimes. HISAO: "Better than most everyone else, I guess. You two seem bright and chipper." Misha signs this back to Shizune as I say it, eliciting a somewhat terse answer, if her sharp and rapid arm movements are any indication. Considering that these two made such a big deal out of the festival preparations, I probably should've chosen my words more carefully. SHIZUNE: "...!" MISHA: "Since you're a new student, we've been cutting you some slack. Please don't expect this kind of task-dodging to be allowed in the future." Misha looks as if she's about to add her own comment, but quickly goes back to interpreting as Shizune continues, unabated. MISHA: "While your contribution to class 3-2's stall is appreciated—" Huh. Word sure got around quickly. That, or these two have their fingers on the pulse of the school. MISHA: "—we would prefer your efforts to be focused on the task at hand. Namely, your own class." As much as I hate to admit it, they do have a point. Before I can respond, though, Shizune adds something more, which draws a smile from Misha. SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "Did you enjoy the festival, then~?" Lecture over, I guess. HISAO: "Yeah, it was good. Did you two enjoy it?" Shizune gives a short nod as Misha grins and bounces her head up and down. The contrast, side-by-side, is amusing. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice more students starting to trickle into the classroom. A quick glance at my watch confirms that they're a few minutes late. .png) I look over to Hanako's seat and realize that she's already there, and contentedly reading a book. It makes me wonder just how long she's been there without me noticing. With heavy footsteps coming up the hallway signaling Mutou's arrival, our idle talking comes to an end and I take my seat next to Misha. As the door slides open, he strides through with a ponderous gait. His posture is even worse than usual, and his eyes are barely staying open. I guess my quip to Lilly and Hanako about the staff was misplaced. Everyone opens their books as he reaches his desk, and the first class of the new week begins. I rub my eyes as the lunch bell rings out, glad for the temporary reprieve from work. I'm entirely unsurprised when I look over to the door and see Lilly standing there, cane in hand, patiently waiting for Hanako. Considering her acceptance of my request to join them yesterday, I decide to spend my lunchtime with them rather than eat alone. Hanako moves surprisingly fast to meet her companion, and the two enter the hallway before I can catch up. Lilly's head turns slightly, registering the sound of footsteps behind her. (Silence) As Hanako notices and follows her lead, she almost jumps in surprise. HANAKO: "Hi... Hisao?” Katawa Shoujo OST - School Days .png) HANAKO: "I mean... um... hello, Hisao..." HISAO: "Hi. Sorry if I startled you." Lilly turns to greet me, helped in her orientation by Hanako. LILLY: "Good afternoon, Hisao. Are you joining us?" HISAO: "If it's no trouble. There's not much else to do, really." Lilly gives a small nod, as if to silently brush away any idea that it would be troubling in the least. We descend one set of stairs and walk down the hallway to the usual room, our pace somewhat quicker than usual thanks to Lilly using Hanako for direction, rather than her cane and the railings. As expected, it's deserted. The sounds of the other clubs can only barely be heard as sunlight streams into the room from outside. Looking around the room, I notice a couple of empty easels propped up against a wall that I don't think were there before. The art club must use this room as extra storage. HANAKO: "Should I get the chess set out?" Hanako's voice seems less tense when she's directly addressing Lilly. .png) LILLY: "Yes. I'll make tea while you sort the pieces." HISAO: "Ah, I can do that for you, if you'd like." She ponders the offer for a moment before smiling, confirming that I've made the right choice. Her face is remarkably easy to read. LILLY: "Very well. Thank you." She slides her retracted cane into the handle of her bag and sets it against one of the table legs, before taking a seat opposite Hanako. As I prepare tea for the three of us, I can hear the small wooden pieces being set on the board. I wonder how good Lilly is at chess, given her circumstances. By the time I place the steaming teacups onto the table, Lilly and Hanako have already moved their first pieces as they nibble on sandwiches and rice balls from their respective bags. .png) I note that the chessboard they're using has holes in the middle of each square and pegs on the bottom of the pieces, and has each dark square slightly raised. Watching Lilly's fingers skating over the board, tracing out the positions of the pieces, makes me marvel a little at the simple ingenuity of the design. It must be specifically made for blind players. HISAO: "Here you go." Hanako gives a small nod as I put down the cup next to her side of the board. Lilly's hand ventures sideways slightly, so I gently place the cup touching the tips of her fingers; a gesture she seems to appreciate. I finally take a seat and silently sip my tea as the two play. .png) The contrast in their appearances while playing is interesting to watch. Hanako looks closely at the board, her face one of focused concentration. Lilly, on the other hand, keeps her head level and maintains her calm neutrality. Lilly's gentle voice addresses both of us as she continues to play. LILLY: "How was class, now that the festival's over?" I look to Hanako to see whether she'll answer first, but see that she's doing the same. HISAO: "Not... great. Half the class seemed to be dozing off, even including the teacher. Not to mention a test on top of all that." Hanako quietly adds her own agreement with this. LILLY: "I could imagine that being a bit difficult for you, being a transfer student." HISAO: "Well, I think I did fine. Other than the shock of a test coming so early, science is probably my best subject. How'd you do, Hanako?" HANAKO: "Me? Ah... okay... I guess..." Hanako's too sincere to be able to pull off lying very well. That much is obvious. Lilly's smile slips very slightly. From her reaction, Hanako mustn't be skilled enough at academics to do very well without preparation. HISAO: "How did your class handle it, Lilly?" LILLY: "It went surprisingly well, actually. Only one student was absent, which was better than what the teacher expected." With the topic all but run dry, the two concentrate on their chess game once again. I can't say I've ever liked the idea of chess as a spectator sport, but given its unique nature, for once I'm rapt in watching the game unfold. As time wears on, both of them demonstrate decent skill at playing the game. Having captured two more pawns than Hanako, Lilly has the upper hand, but only slightly. ...until Hanako makes a strange move with her queen. Seizing upon this lapse in judgment, Lilly takes the piece with her knight. Without hesitation, Hanako moves a pawn to take Lilly's rook on the opposite side of the board, and promotes it to queen. Lilly's face falters as her fingers move over the pieces and she realizes that she just fell to Hanako's trap. It's a little distracting to have the board traced out after each move, even if it's out of necessity. Judging by Hanako's lack of reaction, she must be used to this. She and Lilly must have played at least a few games of chess against each other, after all. HANAKO: "Check." HISAO: "That's not bad at all. Nice, Hanako." The compliment causes her to flower into a surprised blush. HANAKO: "Th-thank you. I didn't... think it would work." I look over to Lilly, her fingers having just finished tracing out the position of her remaining pieces in an attempt to extricate her king from this bind. LILLY: "I think this is checkmate..." HISAO: "Hmm?" I take another look at the board to confirm. Sure enough, her king has nowhere to escape without being threatened by another piece. My earlier question as to which of them is better at this has just been answered. HISAO: "So it is." Lilly gives a small sigh as Hanako smiles. From their reactions, this seems like a fairly usual result. HISAO: "How long have you two been playing?" HANAKO: "Since... I was young." Lilly nods at Hanako's brief answer. LILLY: "Hanako taught me how to play soon after I met her. I can beat her every now and then... but that's a rarity. I don't seem to have the right mindset for it." If Lilly came to Yamaku at the start of high school, and met Hanako when she moved to the dorms, that'd mean she's only been playing for about one year. After seeing Hanako's level of play, I'm not too surprised Lilly has trouble beating her. HANAKO: "But... she's better at languages than I am, so..." Lilly gives an appreciative, if slightly amused, smile at Hanako's quick reversal of her compliment. LILLY: "Well, that's how it is." (Silence) Much to everyone's surprise, the bell suddenly rings, heralding an end to the lunch break. LILLY: "Hmm, that game lasted longer than I thought it did." HISAO: "Same. I guess we'd better get back to class." Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight Hanako's already in the middle of packing up, so I take Lilly's bag and offer it to her. To my surprise, she takes it and nods, but then places it back down on the table. LILLY: "Hisao, may I make a request?" HISAO: "Sure, go ahead." LILLY: "Would you mind if I were to quickly feel your face?" HISAO: "Oh, uh... no, go ahead. I don't mind." The question takes me severely off guard, but once I regain my composure it seems sensible enough. So far Lilly's had no idea what I actually look like, and this would be her only way to find out. Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight (Muffled) .png) Lilly raises her right hand, which I take in mine and guide to my face before letting go. The room is entirely silent as Lilly's hand moves over and around my features, from my chin, to my cheeks, to everywhere else. I expected this to feel a lot more disquieting than it does. I suppose that's because the action is entirely a matter of practicality, being functionally no different to simply looking at someone's face. Her hand is soft, but what takes me by surprise is the length of her fingers, not to mention how sure even the slightest of her movements are. I have no doubt that her level of tactile feeling would be far beyond mine. Her hand briefly runs once through my hair before retreating. I'm sure that every inch of my face has been committed to her memory. It's only now, too, that I realize Hanako has been silently watching the entire time. Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight LILLY: "Thank you for letting me do that, Hisao. And if I might add, I think you are quite handsome." I blush a little at her remark, before raising a questioning eyebrow. HISAO: "But if you can't see, how..." .png) LILLY: "Just because I can't see, that doesn't mean I don't have my own preferences." HANAKO: "Um, we'd better go now..." HISAO: "Yeah, that's a good point. I guess we'll see you later then, Lilly." Walking through the hallways back to our classrooms, I notice that Hanako seems quieter than before, but also more comfortable. Lilly, her hand on Hanako's shoulder, seems to pick up on her assured pace as well, smiling as they walk. If I could spend the rest of my time at Yamaku like this, I don't think it'd be so bad. All that's needed for joy are small exchanges of happiness, after all. (Faint Roaring Noise) As I reach my desk and set my bag beside it, I realize something. Or rather, my stomach does. I was so busy with those two, I forgot to buy lunch... Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time .png) (Silence) Saturday. My second most favorite day of the week. This is almost entirely due to the fact that it is the day with the second least amount of school, with class ending at the beginning of lunch. I open my door confidently, myself being more than confident of being able to get enjoyment out of the fine weather and shorter class length. I confidently stride down the hallway and down the stairs to the lobby of the male dorms. I confidently look behind me to see whose footsteps are approaching. I... lose my confidence in this day being enjoyable. Katawa Shoujo OST - Out of the Loop .png)  KENJI: "Hey man. Sup?" HISAO: "Not much I guess, just looking forward to the afternoon. You?" He wraps an arm around my slumped shoulders far too comfortably. Something's up. KENJI: "Let's step outside, shall we?" HISAO: "I was just about to, before you stopped me." He doesn't take my reaction to his theatrics well. Ignoring him, I walk outside and start down the steps. It doesn't take too long for him to catch up with me again. I wonder if he wants money, or to rant about another conspiracy. Maybe both. KENJI: "I've got a bone to pick with you." HISAO: "Uh huh." KENJI: "It's about that blonde. You know who I'm talking about." Conspiracy it is. For a moment I contemplate feigning ignorance, but realize this will go quicker if I just let him get it all out. HISAO: "Lilly? The one from your class?" KENJI: "You're on first name terms with her?!" He looks positively shocked at this development. Did he not expect me to be able to answer? He gathers himself and coughs into his fist. Dramatically, like everything he does. KENJI: "Well, never mind that. I'm here to warn you. You know. Man to man." HISAO: "Warn me about what? Lilly?" KENJI: "Yeah. You don't know her, man." It's mostly true. I've only known her and Hanako for less than two weeks, and even then we've just been exchanging banal chatter about school as we while away lunch. HISAO: "I'm pretty sure you don't either." KENJI: "That's not the point. You're the one spending inordinate amounts of time with her." It distresses me that someone like Kenji, who's probably as far out of the loop as one could possibly get, knows about such a trivial fact as who I choose to befriend. Then again... I am a transfer student, and she's not only the representative of their class, but also a tall blonde. Maybe I should appreciate this ranting as a warning that the rumor mill exists in this school, and that I'm firmly within it. HISAO: "It's just lunch. Nothing special." KENJI: "Look, man, under the bridge. See this bridge? You're under it. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do to get intel. I just want to make sure you don't end up too far under the bridge." HISAO: "You're losing me, Kenji." KENJI: "That's okay, lots of people get lost. That's why I'm here to help. Just be careful around her, okay? She looks all harmless on the outside, but I've heard poo poo. Bad poo poo. You know the Student Council, right?" He seems to involuntarily shudder as he says the words. Putting him and Shizune together in a room is an amusing mental exercise. I wonder if they've met. HISAO: "Yeah, Shizune and Misha are in my class. I seem to have dodged the draft, though." KENJI: "Good man. Good man. But this blonde? She was there. In the Student Council. Right. drat. There." HISAO: "I see. And?" KENJI: "And she's not there now." (Silence) HISAO: "..." KENJI: "Seriously, think about it. Something must have gone down." I stop walking for a moment, giving the idea more thought than I probably should. It would explain that fight the two had, at least in part. Wait, no, not really. Even leaving the Student Council would need a catalyst. In the end, it doesn't explain much at all. Other than the fact that their feud goes back some ways. HISAO: "I guess you have a point. I'm not seeing how that really affects me, though." KENJI: "Okay, now field this one. Lilly's foreign, obviously." HISAO: "Obviously." KENJI: "Now, what nationality is she?" I open my mouth to give the answer, but realize that I have none. In fact, I've given the matter very little thought. Given that she has no accent and acts perfectly Japanese, I suppose it never really seemed important. Now that he mentions it though, I am rather curious. HISAO: "To be honest, I don't know. Maybe English? They like tea." I probably shouldn't resort to stereotypes, but that's the only lead I have. Katawa Shoujo OST - Out of the Loop KENJI: "You're not thinking. Luckily, you have me here to think for you." HISAO: "Gee, thanks." He brushes off the quip effortlessly. KENJI: "Now answer me this: who has lots of social power, is filthy stinking rich - you know blondes are all rich, right? - has a long history of disputes and used to belong to a much larger organization?" HISAO: "The Roman Catholic Church?" KENJI: "...Well okay, there's that. But there's also the Mafia. Come on. Rich, foreign, there's no way she doesn't have connections to them." I have reason to doubt the logic of his deductions, but he shows no sign of stopping. KENJI: "So do you know where I think she's from?" HISAO: "Italy?" KENJI: "Mainland Italy's small-time, dude. She has to be from Sicily. All those mafioso types come from there. Wait, no, Russia. drat, this could be bad. The Mafia there is serious business, man; Ex-KGB everywhere, paramilitaries, hardcore smuggling, and—" HISAO: "Wait, wait, stop, just slow down a sec. What point are you trying to get at here?" KENJI: "You don't know what she'll do, man. I won't get in your way - agents don't operate like that - but I just want you to be careful. When the time comes, we'll need all the help we can get. I don't want to lose you, comrade." Well, at least he's concerned for me. Kinda. I wave goodbye to him as we separate out to our respective classes, but I'm not sure that he sees the gesture. (Silence, Crowd Sounds) Piling my books into my bag, I catch a glimpse of the library books I'd borrowed last week. I might as well return them, considering they took all of two days to finish. I briefly consider inviting Hanako along to the library, but she's already gone. It'll probably be better for my studying if I'm alone anyway. With a quick stretch and a wave to a couple of classmates who give the same to me, I make my way out of the classroom. (Silence, Crowd Sounds Stop) As I open my bag and shove the books through the returns slot in the front counter, I notice a strange person behind the desk. Old and graying, she must be Yuuko's replacement when she's working at the café. I begin looking for a free table, a task made somewhat difficult considering that, despite there not being many students in here, they're all sitting at their own tables. Noticing a familiar head of hair, I walk over to one near the Braille section. .png) It's hard to tell whether Lilly's concentrating hard or not, her placid expression holding perfectly still as her finger slides across the dot-filled pages of her book. HISAO: "Hi. Mind if I sit here?" LILLY: "Hmm? Oh, no problem at all..." She trails off, evidently still focused on her business at hand. LILLY: "Ah, Hisao." Katawa Shoujo OST - Concord (Lilly’s Theme) She gives a nod of greeting as I sit opposite her at the table, pluck a chemistry textbook out of my bag and quickly thumb to the chapter we're covering in class. For a while, we sit there and read, each in our own way. Seeing her reminds me of what Kenji said this morning, though. That and the fact that I've never seen someone read in Braille before makes me keep throwing glances at her. I kind of feel guilty about it, given that she has no way to realize I'm doing so, so I decide to just ask her about it. Her lineage isn't exactly a state secret, after all, and there is another thing I've only just noticed from her movements. HISAO: "Hey Lilly, mind if I ask a question?" LILLY: "Not at all. Is anything wrong?" HISAO: "I was just wondering... you're at least part foreign, right?" She gives a small giggle before setting down her book. LILLY: "I've always been amused at how squeamish people are about that. Akira's mentioned how much she and I look different from most others before. The details are a bit complicated, but I'm half Japanese, half Scottish." …Scottish? That was not exactly my first guess. It takes some effort to not blurt it out loud. I try to conjure images of the place in my mind. I think as far as the UK goes, Scotland isn't bad to live in... but I'm not really sure. My first guess of England was surprisingly close, at least geographically. That does leave another question though. HISAO: "But you have no accent...?" LILLY: "That's where the details begin. I was born and raised in Japan, despite my mother being foreign." HISAO: "Ah, I get it." Hold on, if she moved to the dorms simply due to Akira working longer hours... HISAO: "So they don't live near the school?" .png) She gives a small sigh, as if she didn't expect me to go any deeper. Was her previous frankness just a front? LILLY: "Not... exactly. It's been a long time since we've actually met." I feel like I'm not getting the whole story, but I don't really want to go unduly prying into her situation. Her about-face shows she feels kind of awkward about it. HISAO: "So... do you speak much English? To be honest I don't know that much about Scotland, but at least I know that's the main language there." It takes her a moment to collect herself, appreciating the change in topic. LILLY: "That's right. My family mostly used Japanese around the house when I was young, but they made sure Akira and I knew our Scottish side just as well. I'm fluent in the language, but I'm also studying it in school. To keep my skills up and to have the qualifications on paper, mainly." HISAO: "So you're bilingual? That's pretty impressive." LILLY: "I wouldn't go that far. Having parents who can speak the language is a large advantage, and English books in Braille aren't too hard to buy or import. With Yuuko's help, at least. There's a relatively high demand for local English teachers here anyway, which also helps give me some motivation to learn it well." Demand for English teachers? For a moment, I wonder why she brought this up. HISAO: "You're planning to be an English teacher?" She gives an enthusiastic nod. It must be nice, having such a definite future in mind. I've never really given much thought to mine, so I'm kind of envious. HISAO: "Hmm..." LILLY: "What's wrong?" HISAO: "It's just... I could see you as a teacher pretty easily. It suits you." For a moment, she's speechless. She lowers her face a little and lets out a nervous giggle, something I've never seen her do before. With Lilly's role as a class representative and her dependable nature, teaching does seem to be a line of work fitting her personality. HISAO: "Sorry, that was probably a little much. It is true, though." Waving her hand in front of her face dismissively, she quickly recovers. LILLY: "It's not that, it's just that... only one person's ever said that to me before." (Silence) A short, somewhat awkward silence follows the discussion. Without knowing it, I ended up steering into a troublesome topic again. I should try to cheer her up a little. It was me who went and got her brooding, after all. HISAO: "Want to go grab lunch at the cafeteria after this?" It might perk her up a bit, or at least take her mind off her apparently complicated family situation. Going by her smile, it seems to have the intended effect. LILLY: "I appreciate the thought, but the food there..." Quite a quick redirection of the conversation. She does have a point though - the food there isn't the greatest. HISAO: "Maybe the Shanghai? We could ask Hanako if she wants to come as well." LILLY: "Ah..." HISAO: "What is it?" LILLY: "I almost forgot, until you reminded me. Hanako's birthday is coming up soon, and I was going to go shopping in the city for a present tomorrow." HISAO: "If that's an invitation, I'd be happy to accompany you." The ability to get more used to the layout of the city would probably be a good thing. I have barely set foot in there, so I'd be hopelessly lost by myself. She gives a nod, signaling that she happily approves of this plan for Sunday. We eventually get back to our books, though before I begin reading again I steal one last glance at her. Maybe I've been thinking on my situation too much. After all, everybody here would have their own unique circumstances. The chance to get outside and clear my head will probably do me good.
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Jan 14, 2022 16:21
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Falconier111 posted:
No, no, no, Kenji, if you want mysterious blonde mafia assassins, you want Corsica.
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Jan 14, 2022 18:52
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I admit that I don't know anything about blind chess players (as distinguished from "Blind Chess", where the opponent's pieces aren't shown on the board), but the description of the game makes it sound like Hanako moves her piece and then Lilly has to feel around to figure out what move she made. Isn't it standard for the opponent to announce their moves verbally as they're made?
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Jan 14, 2022 20:20
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I think even if you hear the moves, it's valuable to feel the overall board state. Many of us don't have the memory to hold the whole board state just from the move list. Sometimes the fact that this is an American story with a light dusting of Japan feels really strong. Here it was Kenji bringing up Hisao using Lilly's first name. Formality and such are very conscious in this route and it really throws in relief how weird that is.
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Jan 14, 2022 20:34
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