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thunderspanks
Nov 5, 2003

crucify this


Read it before checking the ages for maximum cringe

My [28M] daughter [5F] isn't speaking to me because my wife [47F] told her not to

quote:

We began dating 10 years ago and got married after 4 years. We are now raising a 5 year old daughter.

Lately, we have been arguing about the bills to be paid, the quality of my cooking (she doesn't want to cook so I cook the best I can) and that she wants to spend more on personal expenses like trips and vacations (which I can't afford).

2 days ago, she asked if she can open our relationship up as she doesn't feel satisfaction around me. I told her I can try to make it up to her but the open relationship idea is a no go.

The next day, my daughter is suddenly telling me that she can't speak to me "because mommy told me". When I confronted my wife, she reiterated her desire for an open marriage and won't allow our daughter to talk to me until I agree.

How do i put an end to this foolishness from her?

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Variable 5
Apr 17, 2007
We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.
Grimey Drawer

The Bramble posted:

Literally laughed out loud in a public place just from the title alone

My [32m] girlfriend [31f] asked me to choose what year, I thought she was the most physically attractive. I told her 21.. Now she told me that I am a creep and I am not the guy for her

quote:

she is like oh thats a wife level request

Ask her for the price sheet.

Computer viking
May 30, 2011
Now with less breakage.

I'm not sure if the essential wisdom here is
- Don't insist on honest answers if you don't want them
- Don't answer questions like that honestly no matter what the asker says
- Don't stay with people that do tests like that
- Be wary of people who draw arbitrary lines about before/after getting married (especially if they keep inventing new ones)

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

It's rare you get so much gold when filtering for new posts, but today's the day...

[23m] What's the best way to tell my girlfriend [22f] about my very specific fetish?

quote:

I've known my girlfriend since the 3rd year of high school but we never really talked up until about a year ago after seeing each other at a party, and now we've been in a relationship for about half a year.

Now I've got a fetish for girls wearing puffer jackets, don't ask me why but seeing a girl in a nice puffer drives me crazy. I know my girlfriend wore various puffer jackets throughout high school, but now she doesn't because it doesn't really suit her style anymore. Lately I've been fantasising about doing sexual things with her in her old jackets, but I'm not sure how to bring it up? I'm not sure she has the jackets anymore either, considering they were from a period where we weren't really in touch. I'm worried because the idea of asking her to wear something that she last wore when she was essentially a child might be creepy, and she might just thing it's weird in general that I'm turned on by that kind of thing. Any advice on what would be the best way to tell her about it?

TL:DR - I've got a thing for girls in puffer jackets, how do I ask my girlfriend if by any chance she would like to have sex with her old puffers on?

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON
Regarding first date girls - if you really like someone, even a date staring at the wall can seem like the most fun you've ever had. It's about who you're with. The fact that a movie date was more than enough to make her heart explode in glee is an indicator of just how hard she had it for this girl and is cute AF :3:

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007

Can you see that I am serious?
Fun Shoe

Computer viking posted:

- Be wary of people who draw arbitrary lines about before/after getting married (especially if they keep inventing new ones)

Okay I may have gotten mixed up over the last few pages so let me see if I have this right: Orthodox Jews tend to keep two sets of cutlery for their polyamourous relationships and you can bang anyone inside the red line as long as you're both within the half your age + 7 rule (obviously no one under 18)

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Computer viking posted:

I'm not sure if the essential wisdom here is
- Don't insist on honest answers if you don't want them
- Don't answer questions like that honestly no matter what the asker says
- Don't stay with people that do tests like that
- Be wary of people who draw arbitrary lines about before/after getting married (especially if they keep inventing new ones)

I think its, while the two guards problem where one who lies and one who tells the truth is a solved problem, and one can memorize the correct response and travel on freely, the real question you should be asking yourself is why are you even in that situation?

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Computer viking posted:

I'm not sure if the essential wisdom here is
- Don't insist on honest answers if you don't want them
- Don't answer questions like that honestly no matter what the asker says
- Don't stay with people that do tests like that
- Be wary of people who draw arbitrary lines about before/after getting married (especially if they keep inventing new ones)
¿Por qué no a todos?

Computer viking
May 30, 2011
Now with less breakage.

Barudak posted:

I think its, while the two guards problem where one who lies and one who tells the truth is a solved problem, and one can memorize the correct response and travel on freely, the real question you should be asking yourself is why are you even in that situation?

I think that's covered under "Don't be with people that test you like that"?

Ouhei
Oct 23, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Even healthy couples have things happen to them like illness, loss of employment, deaths of people close to them, etc. That's actually a really lovely thing to say.

Maybe I should be more clear.

If anyone wants to seek therapy for whatever reason, they absolutely should do so. I am merely of the opinion that if your relationship is having run of the mill issues where therapy specifically centered around the relationship itself is needed while the relationship is relatively young, it's probably not going to work out long term. I wouldn't consider the things you listed as run of the mill issues. There are and always will be specific instances where that is not the case.

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON
Nah you were perfectly clear, you just told on yourself a bit is all.

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 12, 2012

This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.


Barudak posted:

I think its, while the two guards problem where one who lies and one who tells the truth is a solved problem, and one can memorize the correct response and travel on freely, the real question you should be asking yourself is why are you even in that situation?

My favorite solution to this one was, I think, in a Martin Gardner book. You ask one guard, "Did you know they were handing out free beer in the village?", ignore the answer, and follow them.

https://twitter.com/julesofearthsea/status/1480952916756340743

Arsenic Lupin fucked around with this message at 18:52 on Jan 12, 2022

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009

Math time!

My [28m] wife [20f] told me she dislikes my body and was initially attracted to my 'personality' mostly... she says I am not, and never was, her type

quote:

So I'm at a loss. What do I do where do we even go from here? We have a kid together. Have been together now as a couple for 5 years, three of those as a married couple.

She says 'her type' is boy-ish, young, slender, hairless guys. Like the guys from Korean dramas. I'm pretty much the exact opposite of that and she says she dislikes my physique.

As a result we hardly ever have sex anymore. I mean we do, but, it's mostly quickies. She's not into it much anymore. I want to go down on her, she pushes me away. She never reciprocates, never does oral on me. No bj ever. I suggest therapy, she refuses. I suggest to take time apart, she refuses. I want to talk about it she gets awkward, picks fight, gets mad, or cries.

What do I do?

Tarkus
Aug 27, 2000

lol, my child bride isn't into me anymore! why?

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Motronic posted:

Math time!

My [28m] wife [20f] told me she dislikes my body and was initially attracted to my 'personality' mostly... she says I am not, and never was, her type

What do you do? You die in a loving fire

El Spamo
Aug 21, 2003

Fuss and misery
ew ew ew ew eewwwww

Ouhei
Oct 23, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Motronic posted:

Math time!

My [28m] wife [20f] told me she dislikes my body and was initially attracted to my 'personality' mostly... she says I am not, and never was, her type

oh nooooooooo

thunderspanks
Nov 5, 2003

crucify this


shocked irl that it didn't turn into a ~hebephilia~ shitshow of a thread

unfortunately also a victim of my own hubris for looking at the op's post history. don't do it at work.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

The Bramble posted:

It's rare you get so much gold when filtering for new posts, but today's the day...

[23m] What's the best way to tell my girlfriend [22f] about my very specific fetish?

Thinking women wearing a certain type of clothing look sexy isn't really... a fetish, insofar as I would use the term, but ok

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

sugar free jazz posted:

this is true. i used to be a huge fuckup. i still am as well.
But are you a different kind of fuckup?

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Motronic posted:

Math time!

My [28m] wife [20f] told me she dislikes my body and was initially attracted to my 'personality' mostly... she says I am not, and never was, her type

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for refusing to coach my half brother due to me and my moms relationship?

quote:

When I (23M) was 11 my mom got pregnant. My dad wasn’t able to have more kids (vasectomy), so this lead to my parents divorcing. My mom, her affair baby, and Jeff moved in together. Me and my sister Jane (17F) were traded back and forth every two weeks. I tried to make things as uncomfortable as possible so I wouldn’t have to spend time at their house. Jeff got annoyed with this and yelled at me one night about respect, I responded “is knocking up a married woman respectful Jeff?” We had to be separated and my dad picked me up. That was 12 years ago and I haven’t been back to their house since. I have cut any contact with my mom and hoped she would take the hint. She would send me birthday/Christmas gifts with Jane, I would send them back un-opened. I was the QB in my small town. Senior year my mom made these jerseys with my name and number on them. Jeff, my mom, and drake (affair baby) wore them to the games and it pissed me off. I told them to take them off as I didn’t want to be associated with them. They tried coming to my signing day ceremony and I told them no. For senior day I only walked with my dad.

So now to my issue. My half brother won’t leave me alone. I’ve never met or said a single word to drake. I played college QB at a D1 school close to home. My mom would ask my dad if they could come to my college games. I repeatedly told them no. My mom called (I have her blocked so she used Janes phone) asking for tickets my junior year because I was drakes “favorite player” and he wanted to see me play. I said “then buy a ticket” and hung up. My mom asked my dad to come to my college senior day and I told him no. I walked with my dad, Jane and my dads wife. So now I coach along with my regular job. It’s 12U football and unfortunately drake plays. He signed up for my team last summer (2020) and since I didn’t want to have to deal with my mom, or drake, I asked to switch teams. My mom approached me at the game whenever my team played drakes and I walked right past her without discussing it. The current issue is I’m one of 3 coaches at a football showcase that is happening MLK weekend. And guess who signed up for my group…drake. You get to sign up for whichever coach you want, so this means drake/my mom purposely signed up for my group. At the end of the camp we are supposed to sit down with parents and go over the improvements their kid made during the camp. I told the camp director to move him to a different group. They did and my mom blew up. She’s tried calling me, left me a letter thru Jane and even tried talking to my dad. My dad backed me up saying I’m an adult now and he can’t force a relationship on me. But Jane is saying how much me ignoring mom/drake has bothered her over the years, and even if I’ve cut mom completely out of my life, its still hurting drake. I said that I’m not punishing mom, that I just don’t want to be around her or drake as it makes me uncomfortable. AITA?

AceClown
Sep 11, 2005

Brawnfire posted:

Thinking women wearing a certain type of clothing look sexy isn't really... a fetish, insofar as I would use the term, but ok

oh he's on the train to an inflation fetish and it's juuust started rolling out the station

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

It's a known thing among tattoo artists that you should never ever give someone anything remotely resembling a white supremacy tattoo, because you will immediately become known as the Nazi Tattooist and all the nazis who get turned down by any sane tattooist will flock to your door but everyone else will never patronize your business again.

Nooner posted:

Didnt know about this but like idk, i kinda feel if someone wants to get a permanent marking on their body that lets you identify them right away as a nazi that isnt a bad thing
I know an artist who said the policy at their shop is "Nazi tattoos are free, but they must go on your forehead." I'm sure they've never actually done it.

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to coach my half brother due to me and my moms relationship?

Wonder what mom has been telling drake and if drake knows the whole story. I'm betting not. Poor kid.

Ethiser
Dec 31, 2011

Jeff got owned.

house of the dad
Jul 4, 2005

Definitely feel bad for the kid being caught in the middle of all of this but the mom's taken this way beyond the point of harassment.

Hip-Hoptimus Rhyme
Mar 19, 2009

Gods don't make mistakes

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to coach my half brother due to me and my moms relationship?

If hasn't gotten therapy, hopefully he does.

Regardless, he's been very clear about his boundaries and the mom continually violates them. No duh he doesn't want a relationship.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Motronic posted:

Math time!

My [28m] wife [20f] told me she dislikes my body and was initially attracted to my 'personality' mostly... she says I am not, and never was, her type

The way I know that in certain states this is legal is because Jeff Ross convinced a 15 year old girl's parents to let him date her and if the parents agree apparently its ok. The wife in this story has probably been failed by every adult every given responsibility for her and I hope she can just loving cut out and start new somewhere else.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to coach my half brother due to me and my moms relationship?

Can't miss the part about Jeff, a grown adult, physically attacking a child over being called out for infidelity. The mom made her choice and is clearly hoping to force a reconciliation with the OP through stalker level harassment.

sugar free jazz
Mar 5, 2008

Splicer posted:

But are you a different kind of fuckup?

only in terms of addition, i have invented and added new ways of loving up beyond even my prior wildest dreams

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

AceClown posted:

oh he's on the train to an inflation fetish and it's juuust started rolling out the station

Nah, this is its own VERY specific fetish. F Plus did a whole episode on it, though it was rolled in with a sweater fetish.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

pentyne posted:

The way I know that in certain states this is legal is because Jeff Ross convinced a 15 year old girl's parents to let him date her and if the parents agree apparently its ok. The wife in this story has probably been failed by every adult every given responsibility for her and I hope she can just loving cut out and start new somewhere else.
Pedo Hubby's other posts are in gay porn subreddits, so I hope we get an update on how this situation resolves.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for letting my child cuss at an old woman?

quote:

My husband is staying with his mother. Both are in isolation. Thank goodness my kids, and I are -.

I had to do an emergency grocery run because the delivery in my area was backed up. I took my kiddos: 5, 8, 12 with me.

8 is on the spectrum and has trouble in places like grocery stores. I gave him an iPad with cellular and over the ear headphones. He should be good to go. He doesn’t like loud noises or strangers touching him.

While in line, 12 is a lot of help with his brothers, so he’s trying to help me with 5 throwing junk food in the cart.

I decided to go to the cashier's checkout, and then the line was long.
8 is good. Just chilling watching his cartoons with his headphones. Until this old lady behind us is Upset over something. I’m ignoring her, but 12 grabs me and says I think we have an issue.
The lady starts going on about kids today and technology. She is trying to get 8 attention. I don’t want to startle him, so 12 moves between them. But 5 is looking at more cookies.

The old woman told me my kids were rude, ignoring her.
She taps on my 8 year old, and I pull him aside. He looks up from his iPad and takes his headphones off to see if something is wrong. I’m trying to get his headphones back on, and the old woman says these types of things are for at home only, and I need to teach my kids to interact in public.

She tells 8 he’s old enough to know better than to act like this, Scolding him. Loudly publicly and in the middle of the store.

8 starts to cry, the first sign of a meltdown with him.
12 turns to the old woman and says, “you stupid bitch he’s autistic.” While I usually would tell 12 off because I have more issues to deal with. The old lady wants to talk to security and starts making a scene about my kids screaming they called her a bitch.

I finally leave a full cart of food there and leaves Security tried to stop me, saying I had to get 8 to the car. He has autism, and he’s going to have a major meltdown. 12 talks to security and tells him about the old lady in line.

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for letting my child cuss at an old woman?

wow that old lady's nipples could probably cut glass after that

Dr. Stab
Sep 12, 2010
👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀
Good mom. Good kids. Who the hell goes around harassing strangers' children's about gizmos these days?

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for letting my child cuss at an old woman?

A good way to avoid being called a stupid bitch is not to act like a huge stupid bitch all the time.

Dr. Stab posted:

Good mom. Good kids. Who the hell goes around harassing strangers' children's about gizmos these days?

Boomers. It's kind of all they do.

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for letting my child cuss at an old woman?
12 is a good sibling

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

sugar free jazz posted:

only in terms of addition, i have invented and added new ways of loving up beyond even my prior wildest dreams
Well, growth is growth.

greazeball
Feb 4, 2003



Acting like a huge stupid bitch all the time is my love language

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keep punching joe
Jan 22, 2006

Die Satan!

The Bramble posted:

Literally laughed out loud in a public place just from the title alone

My [32m] girlfriend [31f] asked me to choose what year, I thought she was the most physically attractive. I told her 21.. Now she told me that I am a creep and I am not the guy for her

lmao you idiot, just say one of the recent ones, doesn't matter if she was hotter when she was 10 years younger.

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