quote:

MIL was going to visit her former boss in prison the other day because he’s been begging her to. She is actually the person who get him arrested so I’m not sure why he wants to see her, but not my business.

MIL spent an hour doing her hair and makeup. Now in general I’d never shame a woman for a little vanity but it was prison. She asked my opinion on her dress and I straight up asked if it was prison or a date. She snapped at me and stormed off. I told her that it was kind of dumb that she was dressed like that to go to prison. Not to mention she broke the dress code and had to wear a jacket the whole time. She demanded to know if I called her dumb when she is “so much more successful” than I.

A few days later (after laying in bed for three days and not talking to anyone) she was looking at rings and talking about what kind she liked and I asked what the occasion was and she said her ex boss wanted her to buy her an engagement ring with his money (I think his brother has his credit cards, idk it’s all weird), and wear it when he got out. I asked if she was going I marry him and she said of course not but she still might get an engagement ring “just to wear”

I started laughing because I couldn’t help it and MIL broke down crying and called me a bitch. I said her life is ridiculous. She ended up screaming at me that I’m a bitch and her son has never loved me and now she won’t talk to me and I honestly feel bad, but in my defense it is just funny because what even is this situation?

Invisible Clergy posted:

Yeah, those are always disgusting. Just pure capsicum. Food should be enjoyed, not an ordeal to be suffered through.

AITA for making fun of my MIL for spending an hour doing her makeup to visit someone in jail and telling her her life is hilarious?

what even is this situation?

quote:

iluvdonkeys
OP

I tried but Emily wouldn't let me in. My therapist said that there wasn't much else I could do except wait for Emily to grow out of it. And she never did...


fakemonalisa
Okay, but what about Emily's therapist? You got her into therapy, right?


iluvdonkeys
OP

I couldn't afford therapy for her. I asked her father to send her to therapy but I don't think that he ever did that. I sent her to a church youth group for children dealing with their parents' divorce and she didn't take anything away from it because she's an "Atheist".

Danaru posted:

Hungry Computer posted:

This line is a huge red flag to me. It's the same thing my mother says how she treated me vs my siblings. I was never inherently "more independent", I was forced to learn to be independent because I didn't get support.

Hungry Computer posted:

This line is a huge red flag to me. It's the same thing my mother says how she treated me vs my siblings. I was never inherently "more independent", I was forced to learn to be independent because I didn't get support.

Lemniscate Blue posted:

Speaking as a teacher, you pretty quickly come to realize that there are some parents for whom "reality" will only ever be a casual acquaintance.

Kurieg posted:

What the absolute gently caress? "Hey I know you had a miscarriage, followed by another miscarriage a month later, AND THAT'S HILARIOUS!"

Grimdude posted:

Lol at the quick burn about her daughter not having friends.

Invisible Clergy posted:

Yeah, those are always disgusting. Just pure capsicum. Food should be enjoyed, not an ordeal to be suffered through.

AITA for making fun of my MIL for spending an hour doing her makeup to visit someone in jail and telling her her life is hilarious?

Doctor Butts posted:

Nothing that has you sign a waiver is gonna have flavor.

Midnight Voyager posted:

"You joked about it lightly because emotions are weird and hard to deal with, so I can go for the throat, right?"

Invisible Clergy posted:

It is useful to some empty people as a prosthetic personality. You've heard of nerds conflating media they consume with their personal identity because they have no personality. This is the same thing but with food. Also as mentioned upthread, it's a toxic masculinity thing, especially for guys who can't do anything else traditionally masculine. "You can lift more weight than I can and run faster and fought in a war? Well I order padthai level 5 instead of level 4, qed my dick is bigger so there."

hawowanlawow posted:

generally when I see someone say "we both moved past" something, my gut reaction is that they are being manipulative and implying that they were also wronged when they were not

quote:

Throwaway for privacy

I (M26) have been dating my girlfriend (F24) for about a year now, and we recently moved in together. She didn't have a lot of furniture and such, so it's mostly mine in our apartment including my bed (frame, mattress, sheets). I am a bit of a neat freak, and she generally is too, so we get along pretty well living together.

Now I'm not one of those guys that gets grossed out over a woman having her menstrual cycle. I've had sex with my girlfriend on lighter days with a towel down. I'll go buy her feminine products. I don't get weirded out if she mentions it. I will say though, it totally grosses me out getting on my bed though.

Well a few days ago when we woke up I noticed a blood spot on the bed and got totally grossed out. I knew she had been on her period for 3 days already so it wasn't any sort of surprise accident. I asked how it happened and she was upset and said she thought she didn't need to sleep with anything on. I told her that was absurd, why would you go without wearing anything and get blood all over my bed. I told her that was irresponsible and that she needed to pay me for new sheets. She agreed to pay for new sheets but got upset with me for getting angry and calling her irresponsible. She said that she likes to not wear anything when she can. She said she thought her flow was light and she wouldn't bleed over night. She says I have no reason to be angry to talk down to her over something I don't experience. I said that she should've been more careful with where we sleep and that it was unhygienic

AITA for getting upset and wanting her to pay?

ETA: A lot of people seemed confused by what I said 'not wearing anything". She was wearing her normal pajamas, just no menstrual products. She said since she's on birth control she is very light on day 3 and doesn't ever bleed on the sheets. It still seems unreasonable to me to not have something for extra coverage just in case. To everyone saying to just wash the sheets, she did, but I just don't like the thought of it.

Second Edit: I obviously see that I was a prick for being condescending towards her and not being sensitive to her embarrassment. I told her I was going to replace the sheets myself. She got upset again saying she didn't want to financially burden me every time she could potentially have a leak and that washing them was good enough. I told her I obviously just have a weird phobia with it I need to work through. I did ask her to wear products every night until she knows it's gone, and she called me ignorant, and had no right to suggest how she handles her period. She's coming to get her stuff to stay with her mom, so it feels pretty over. I'm sure many of y'all will be happy to hear.

Third: Yep, she says it's definitely over. I tried taking what some of you said about understanding that the flow fluctuates and all that, but she said the damage was done

Bruceski posted:

It's definitely a craps shoot when you go hot whether they know what they're doing, I've had great spicy stuff elsewhere.

kalel posted:

Unrelated but I always thought the phrase was "crap shoot" and I just realized the meaning of it is entirely different than what I thought and I'm a huge dumb rear end

kalel posted:

Unrelated but I always thought the phrase was "crap shoot" and I just realized the meaning of it is entirely different than what I thought and I'm a huge dumb rear end

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for deleting my newborn son's instagram?

coronatae posted:

Spice chat: the first time my partner tried to make arrabiata sauce he confused the tablespoon and teaspoon measurements, and also threw in some random chili pulp leftover from when he made hot sauce the week prior. We had to open the doors and windows because our eyes were stinging. It was served with spicy Italian sausage. He tried to temper his portion with a very generous topping of cheese, but still gave up halfway through. I ate all of mine and his, laughing madly all the while because I was in so much pain but it was making me so high.

I ask him to make it again every so often but he refuses

Midnight Voyager posted:

Plants: Let's cause pain as self-defense!
Humans:

Elder Postsman posted:

Lmao 1000 followers is in absolutely no way "low profile" get the gently caress out of here

quote:

My husband and I have 2 kids (13f/11m), Right now we are going through some financial struggles and we ended up losing so many of our belongings to be able to pay off mortgage debts.

The kids have been more than understanding of our situation and they help with whatever they can. My son even offered that we sell his computer to get money, which was sweet but I insisted he didn't have to. My daughter draws perfectly and she's been selling few of her works to friends online to by stuff for our house. All in all let me just say that I'm proud and grateful for my kids and their efforts to help out.

So days ago, we went to visit my family and my brother was talking to my husband about our debt struggles. My husband loves our house dearly and swore he would not lose it nomatter what happens. My brother then asked him what he'd do if he couldn't afford next months payment and my husband just looked at the kids and said "well, guess then I'll have to adopt you two out".

The kids get quiet, I look at them with a stunned look on my face as they get up from their seats and make their way upstairs. The rest of the family just stare awkwardly. Few seconds in and I went off on my husband about what he told the kids and how cruel his words were. He defended himseld that he was just messing with them but that stuff is damaging both emotionally and mentally and to say this to the kids after they had showed nothing but support? That was so messed up. He lashed back saying I overreacted and needed to loose up and drop it but I refused to do that. I followed the kids upstairs and stayed there...they were actually crying when I found them in the room. I felt awful and didn't speak to my husband after that. I did demand that he apologize and make it up to the kids and he said no and insisted he was just messing with them.

AITA? He said I offended him infront of the family.

Nebrilos posted:

I've heard a lot of examples lately of people criticizing others for "Thinking X is a personality" or "Having X instead of a personality", where is X is something like "The Office," "spicy food," "Genshin Impact," "INTJ," or "Hating Nickleback," but what does it mean to have a personality in the first place? How does a person get a personality? I'm not really being facetious.

Nebrilos posted:

I've heard a lot of examples lately of people criticizing others for "Thinking X is a personality" or "Having X instead of a personality", where is X is something like "The Office," "spicy food," "Genshin Impact," "INTJ," or "Hating Nickleback," but what does it mean to have a personality in the first place? How does a person get a personality? I'm not really being facetious.

Prole posted:

New face here. Hello.

Nebrilos posted:

I've heard a lot of examples lately of people criticizing others for "Thinking X is a personality" or "Having X instead of a personality", where is X is something like "The Office," "spicy food," "Genshin Impact," "INTJ," or "Hating Nickleback," but what does it mean to have a personality in the first place? How does a person get a personality? I'm not really being facetious.

thunderspanks posted:

Don't overthink it, it's seriously just people getting mad that someone else likes x when they don't.

Mx. posted:

AITA for going off on my husband for saying this to the kids?

traumatising my kids and making them cry, as a laff? nbd
you making me lose face in front of my family? YOU PIECE OF poo poo

Nebrilos posted:

I've heard a lot of examples lately of people criticizing others for "Thinking X is a personality" or "Having X instead of a personality", where is X is something like "The Office," "spicy food," "Genshin Impact," "INTJ," or "Hating Nickleback," but what does it mean to have a personality in the first place? How does a person get a personality? I'm not really being facetious.

Nebrilos posted:

I've heard a lot of examples lately of people criticizing others for "Thinking X is a personality" or "Having X instead of a personality", where is X is something like "The Office," "spicy food," "Genshin Impact," "INTJ," or "Hating Nickleback," but what does it mean to have a personality in the first place? How does a person get a personality? I'm not really being facetious.

Tenkaris posted:

I’ve been swiping through the dating apps recently (do not recommend,) and the number of women who put “Just a Pam looking for her Jim” is staggering.

quote:

Bit messy. Title sounds harsher than it is. Here goes.

My girlfriend (26F) of almost 5 years and I (26M) have been long distance for almost 2 years at this point. Recently, she unknowingly developed feelings for someone else where she lives. She didn't realize these weren't just "close friend" feelings until her friend group went out one night, got drunk, and they kissed. That's the extent of the cheating. Feelings and one kiss.

The next time we were together she told me everything and seemed truly remorseful. To me, it seems like she really wants to fix this so I decided to stay. Fast forward a week and I find out she received a gift from this guy. A vinyl from an artist she absolutely loves. I explain to her how just the thought of this gift makes me physically ill and I want nothing more than for her to snap it in half and throw it in the garbage. I want her to do this to really prove to me that she wants to rebuild the trust between us. It would mean a lot for her to put my wants above hers right now. It's a $50 vinyl that she didn't pay for and to me, it should be a no brainer. I would hope that she values our relationship more than an album from her favorite artist.

Shocker, she refuses to toss it but says she is willing to get rid of it. She wants to instead give it to a friend who also likes this artist so "it doesn't go to waste." I have tried to explain to her that doing things to help my healing process isn't "wasteful" but she refuses. The logical side of me knows, "perfectly good album. Just give it to someone else." The emotional side of me just sees a reminder of being cheated on and wants to burn it to a crisp. For me right now, gifting it to someone else, knowing it's still out there feels just as bad as keeping it yourself. But I know I'm emotional at the moment.

So I'm torn and looking for some objective opinions. I've always been a rational person and this is by far the most irrational thing I have ever felt. The disconnect between my logical and emotional side and I'm not really sure which one to listen to. Do I stand firm and say "if you can't throw it in the garbage, I don't believe that you truly care about how this makes me feel and respect my emotions on this"? I do feel like this would lead to a break up if she won't toss it. I don't want to lose her but I also refuse to be a pushover through this. That said, I need to pick my battles wisely and make sure this is the hill I'm willing to die on.

Thanks for taking the time to read. Thoughts are welcome.

Mx. posted:

Girlfriend (26F) doesn't want to throw away gift from guy she cheated with despite me (26M) saying that's the best thing she can do to support me right now

lol

Mx. posted:

Girlfriend (26F) doesn't want to throw away gift from guy she cheated with despite me (26M) saying that's the best thing she can do to support me right now

lol

Mx. posted:

Girlfriend (26F) doesn't want to throw away gift from guy she cheated with despite me (26M) saying that's the best thing she can do to support me right now

lol

quote:

That's the extent of the cheating. Feelings and one kiss.

PancakeTransmission posted:

To use an example in the thread: I like spicy food. But I don't walk around with some kind of big cowboy hat that says "chilli eating competition winner" with a tshirt that has a chilli pepper on it, and go to restaurants with my own chilli to supplement their food. I don't have the Scoville scale memorised. I don't tell my friends that if they don't eat the hottest spice level on the menu (or even the "secret" extra hot!!!) they are weak babies. I feel like most of those kinds of people have nothing else to talk about and will start talking about X unprompted even when people around them don't care.