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obithrawn posted:I don't understand how people get into these situations to begin with. Why didn't "who is paying for what" come up beforehand? Why didn't it come up on the trip where one person says 'hey this soap dispenser is cool' and the other person says 'not for $50 its not' either serious or as a joke? This is a 2 minute conversation with someone you are living with and presumably spending a lot of time around what do these people talk about all day that they consistently run into huge problems that are easily solved with 2 sentence exchanges?? I get the sense this is baby's first serious adult shopping trip without mom and dad, for both of them. So she went into it assuming it would work like it does in her family and didn't even discuss, him the same. A lot, and I mean a LOT of young go people go into the world thinking stuff works like it did in their family and get smacked in the face by how much they took for granted as 'common sense' (that is not a real thing, it's just code for whatever unspoken poo poo seems obvious to you bc you were raised with it. People get angry at others who don't know their rules, which seem so obvious and inherent to them personally after being steeped in them from birth, and they don't seem to understand that their experience isn't universal.,) therobit posted:I feel like $1400 is a lot to spend on poo poo from IKEA. IKEA is OK for one or two pieces like bookcases or shelves, but otherwise is really only for for Children’s furniture. Go to some second hand stores if you need to outfit an entire apartment. It sounds like the IKEA couple are not on the same page as far as what’s necessary the first month in an apartment, but I tend to think buying everything at once is foolhardy and also that you get more for less if you buy good stuff used. This is a good example of the above. More than one person mentioned you should invest in real furniture. You absolute fools, lamenting this is trash furniture and taking about what you perceive as the best practice of holding off and building up a solid furniture collection over time. That is for people who have settled. The flimsiness is the point - you're renting and still in the infancy stages of building a life together, buying actual real robust furniture that is heavy and bulky would be a bad call - it will cost you more money to haul that poo poo around in the long run as you move from place-to-place, and gently caress, what if doesn't work out and you break up fairly quickly? You don't just get together and then right away start investing in a china cabinet and the dishware to go with it. You buy trash furniture to survive and at least have something, then you replace everything with nicer stuff over time, as your life settles in and you have the chance/money to do so. I used to have to move around every year/two years or so for a bit, owning actual furniture instead of fiberboard crap I could abandon on trash day and buy again would have been a serious problem. And I'm not going to live in a sad boy space that's just a mattress on the floor and bare dusty walls. That's some depressing poo poo, just living with nothing until you can afford 'the good stuff'. People who don't live in their final resting place of a house yet deserve to live in decent spaces, with functional poo poo, without paying out the rear end for wood furniture that they will have to then literally pay even more money just take with them forever after. IKEA serves this niche perfectly, and frankly I wish there were more places like it and fewer places like Ashley's furniture and such. Anyway sorry but people being all comfortable in a spot and working on building a life and not understanding how people in transition can't do the same things as them drives me bonkers. Because owning things requires you have enough resources to store those things and to be able to keep them/take them with you without issue. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 16:17 on Jan 23, 2022 |
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Jan 23, 2022 16:13
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Just a bunch of adults like, 'you buy it once then you don't ever need to replace it!' is some Boomer poo poo. Building a life is iterative, you will redo many things over and over again as you age, aquiring furniture included. You don't just do aim to do it once then be done. You do what is best for your current situation, and then build on that or even rebuild as circumstances change. Life is a cycle, not a thing you can complete.
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Jan 23, 2022 16:28
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You can make a table last until your death if you scream at anyone who uses it as a table
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Jan 23, 2022 16:33
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Don't forget the glass cabinets full of fine china that is never touched until the day you die and it all goes to the op shop to be used as a bachelor's crockery or target practice for a pellet gun.
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Jan 23, 2022 16:35
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What would you say to a gigantic hardwood cabinet for your 32" CRT TV? You wouldn't believe the selection they have.
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Jan 23, 2022 16:49
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so I could say that I finally figured out what this god damned cube is doing. Get well Lowtax.
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Don't forget the glass cabinets full of fine china that is never touched until the day you die and it all goes to the op shop to be used as a bachelor's crockery or target practice for a pellet gun. We're in the middle of valuing and clearing out the contents of my dad's house and there's an entire Wedgwood China set in there that I don't think I've ever seen used in my four decades on this earth. It's nice, but what's the POINT.
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Jan 23, 2022 16:50
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A good can opener is a generational heirloom  e: when you suddenly need to furnish an entire home is not the time to be buying lasting furniture anyways. That poo poo takes time to find and curate. Buy cheap poo poo and then replace it with sturdy stuff as you find the exact thing that fits your needs. You can't really just go out and buy that in a day. Dr. Stab fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Jan 23, 2022 |
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Jan 23, 2022 16:51
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Sometimes I don't want a table I have to hold on to for a million years, I might not like it anymore or might get bored of it or whatever. We agreed this time around to take my mom and dad's armoires/bedroom set and I regret it immensely.
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Jan 23, 2022 16:54
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StrangersInTheNight posted:Just a bunch of adults like, 'you buy it once then you don't ever need to replace it!' is some Boomer poo poo. Building a life is iterative, you will redo many things over and over again as you age, aquiring furniture included. You don't just do aim to do it once then be done. You do what is best for your current situation, and then build on that or even rebuild as circumstances change. The kitchen is all Good Stuff though. e: Dr. Stab posted:A good can opener is a generational heirloom Splicer fucked around with this message at 16:57 on Jan 23, 2022 |
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Jan 23, 2022 16:54
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Dr. Stab posted:A good can opener is a generational heirloom Hell yeah. I have an old swing-away that was my grandmother's. That thing has moved across the country with me 2x
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Jan 23, 2022 16:55
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Splicer posted:we still replaced a bunch of it with some nice Ikea shelving because who cares if the overflow beans press isn't aged native hardwood? I'm mad that the Ikea shelves and wall mounted cabinets we got are already sagging after two years. They're not holding up anything heavy, so it's disappointing that we'll have to replace them sooner rather than later.
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Jan 23, 2022 17:12
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We just bought a house that the previous owners had remodeled their kitchen with Ikea 6 years ago, and it's still in fantastic condition. We're definitely going to go with Ikea again whenever we decide to redo it. I also just bought a couple awesome, comfortable lounge chairs from IKEA. As mentioned, they have a wide range of quality and price. The Stockholm line is generally great quality and sometimes solid wood.
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Jan 23, 2022 17:24
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kimbo305 posted:I'm mad that the Ikea shelves and wall mounted cabinets we got are already sagging after two years. They're not holding up anything heavy, so it's disappointing that we'll have to replace them sooner rather than later. For our kitchen we got a (non-Ikea) kitchen company in, we only got self-assembly Ikea stuff that was freestanding.
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Jan 23, 2022 17:37
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Splicer posted:Are they shelves also wall mounted or a bookcase deal? quote:If it's a bookcase replace it with two narrow ones half as big as you want. These work, but eat into the benefits of getting cheaper furniture.
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Jan 23, 2022 17:45
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The only surviving bachelor furniture I still have is an Ikea box mattress and desk/chair combo, as well as a couple bookshelves of unknown origin. Ikea is cheap and utilitarian, but this is the first time I'm hearing people say it doesn't last.
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Jan 23, 2022 17:45
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Don't forget the glass cabinets full of fine china that is never touched until the day you die and it all goes to the op shop to be used as a bachelor's crockery or target practice for a pellet gun. From looking in some cabinets of my parent's old house, I have 2 full sets of dinnerware, and what appears to be enough glassware to stock a bar. One of the sets of plates is the "nice" ones we used on holidays. I've never seen any of the glassware used.
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Jan 23, 2022 17:55
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StrangersInTheNight posted:Just a bunch of adults like, 'you buy it once then you don't ever need to replace it!' is some Boomer poo poo. Building a life is iterative, you will redo many things over and over again as you age, aquiring furniture included. You don't just do aim to do it once then be done. You do what is best for your current situation, and then build on that or even rebuild as circumstances change. This is a great post. kimbo305 posted:I'm mad that the Ikea shelves and wall mounted cabinets we got are already sagging after two years. They're not holding up anything heavy, so it's disappointing that we'll have to replace them sooner rather than later. Some things you buy from Ikea, some things you don't...
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Jan 23, 2022 18:01
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Zzulu posted:Probably both for my sake and my adoptive child. Adoptive parents are not some temporary custodians of children who are obligated to form relationships with the biological parents who gave the child away. It's the adoptive parents child and their family, period. As far as I am concerned it is up to the adoptive parents to decide how much or how little contact they want with the biological parents. That's not how this works. My husband and I are looking into adoption currently and the one thing they keep stressing is that every adopted child has a prior history, which is part of the deal. Even if the child was adopted right after birth, the biological family exists and it is the child's right to have the option of knowing where they came from. How much contact there is between the biological parents and the child depends on the exact situation, but in a case like this, some manner of contact between them is the only correct option. The adoptive parents made the decision to block any kind of contact between them, causing no small amount of pain (I'd bet OP thought growing up that her biological parents wanted nothing to do with her, which is traumatizing), and now they are facing the consequences. Keep in mind they still want to exclude the biological parents entirely from the wedding. It's the same as before.
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Jan 23, 2022 18:16
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Not from Reddit, but seemed thread appropriate Woman donates kidney to her boyfriend who then cheats and dumps her quote:To say donating an organ is a big deal would be a huge understatement and one woman selflessly gave one of her kidney's to her then-boyfriend - only to be dumped by him ten months later. AreWeDrunkYet fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Jan 23, 2022 |
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Jan 23, 2022 18:31
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Cloacamazing! posted:(I'd bet OP thought growing up that her biological parents wanted nothing to do with her, which is traumatizing), and now they are facing the consequences. Keep in mind they still want to exclude the biological parents entirely from the wedding. It's the same as before. Yeah even with really awesome parents who were always open with me about the circumstances of my adoption that feeling that you weren't wanted does persist and it really really sucks to feel that way (even if I know that wasn't the case with my birth mom it still was there growing up) That being said I wish you guys the absolute best with your adoption journey and just based on that simple post I feel like you guys are going to be kick rear end parents.
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Jan 23, 2022 18:47
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:Not from Reddit, but seemed thread appropriate Trying to read this was a mistake.
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Jan 23, 2022 18:54
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Dr. Stab posted:A good can opener is a generational heirloom A good peeler too imo
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Jan 23, 2022 19:07
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AITA for wanting a family meeting to discuss all of the single women in our family?quote:Posting for my parents.
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Jan 23, 2022 19:07
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Piell posted:AITA for wanting a family meeting to discuss all of the single women in our family? George Bailey: Please, Clarence, where's my wife? Tell me where my wife is. Clarence: You're not going to like it, George. George Bailey: Where is she? What happened to her? Clarence: She became an old maid. She never married... George Bailey: [desperate] Where is she? WHERE IS SHE?
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Jan 23, 2022 19:16
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AITA for asking a colleague to mind her own business after my dad "groomed" my mum and reporting her to my manager for this?quote:A bit of background: it was my mums (53f) birthday a few days ago. My dad (64m) decided to treat her to a dinner in her favourite restaurant. It's worth mentioning that my dad does not speak English, and my mum is not a native speaker either, but she is pretty fluent in it. My mum also looks significantly younger than she is due to working out, diet, and different beauty "therapies," while my dad looks his age. So, one of the waitresses pulled my mum aside and asked if she had been groomed by my dad. My mother thought that being groomed means being taken care of and treated, so she replied positively. After she couldn't understand why the waitress urged her to leave and hide and thought it's a surprise. Long story short police got called and nearly arrested my dad until Mum cleared the air, showed her passport, and said they were married for over 25 years. No hard feelings; they left a decent tip for the restaurant for doing something and laughed at the situation (more like miscommunication).
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Jan 23, 2022 19:17
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Piell posted:AITA for wanting a family meeting to discuss all of the single women in our family? There is some incomprehensible tangled web of half-feminism, half-sexism going on here that no matter what leads back to the parents in some degree loving up. Like either way you either raised them as helpless women, or are assuming they are helpless women, probably both by the look of it. Grats on your dumb mess.
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Jan 23, 2022 19:31
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olylifter posted:AITA for kicking my wife's family out after they flew down to stay with us for a few weeks? loving lol. How did no one else comment on the FIL digging a hole in their garden to poo poo in like a god drat cat. And that it somehow wasn't a deal breaker the first time. I want to know if he filled in the hole after making GBS threads or just left it open as a really hosed up power play. Does he regularly do this at home? Like, does his lawn look like he has a bad gopher problem? Do his neighbors not even comment anymore when they see it happen? So many questions...
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Jan 23, 2022 19:41
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limp_cheese posted:I want to know if he filled in the hole after making GBS threads or just left it open as a really hosed up power play. Does he regularly do this at home? Like, does his lawn look like he has a bad gopher problem? Do his neighbors not even comment anymore when they see it happen? So many questions... Just let the gophers move into your lawn and they'll save you the trouble of diggin your own poopin holes
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Jan 23, 2022 19:43
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Beachcomber posted:Trying to read this was a mistake. Maybe I'm just showing my age, but since when is starting a new paragraph for every sentence publishable?
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Jan 23, 2022 19:54
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My dying mom made me [15F] promise never to tell my dad he's not my biological father. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sapoyz/my_dying_mom_made_me_15f_promise_never_to_tell_my/ Never before have I wanted to punch a bunch of redditors so much... The whole story is a bit triggering...
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Jan 23, 2022 19:58
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:Maybe I'm just showing my age, but since when is starting a new paragraph for every sentence publishable? I think that's a Twitter thread unspooled into a single post, poorly
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Jan 23, 2022 20:00
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:Maybe I'm just showing my age, but since when is starting a new paragraph for every sentence publishable? It's been standard in red tops for ages: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/boris-johnson-said-couldnt-involved-26026742
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Jan 23, 2022 20:03
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wibble posted:My dying mom made me [15F] promise never to tell my dad he's not my biological father. really hoping this is an elaborate creative writing exercise because the alternative is that a bunch of MRAs murdered an innocent 15 year old
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Jan 23, 2022 20:10
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StrangersInTheNight posted:I get the sense this is baby's first serious adult shopping trip without mom and dad, for both of them. So she went into it assuming it would work like it does in her family and didn't even discuss, him the same. Do you think those of us who are saying this never went through a phase in life where we moved around a lot? In my 20s I moved every year for like 5 years straight. The IKEA furniture I bought during that time didn’t hold up to the moving and was more expensive than the thrift store pieces, some of which I still have 15 years later and still love. I grew up in a house where my parents bought brand new furniture pieces maybe 2 or 3 times and ended up regretting the purchase. My dad would just go to second hand stores and find good mid-century stuff, repairing it if necessary. If they decided they didn’t like something , they have it away or took it to one of the charity shops they probably bought it from. Buying disposable furniture is incredibly wasteful from a carbon footprint/deforestation standpoint. Bookshelves that sit against a wall are probably OK since they tend not to see hard use, but anything that gets moved around or has people sitting or laying on it or has doors people are opening and closing will fall apart after a couple moves. And the thrift store stuff is cheaper. A U-haul truck can be had for $20-$40 for an in-town move. Part of how we wound up in this environmental crisis is people being convinced by large corporations to accept a disposable society where you have lots of things that are lovely and fall apart/stop working after just a few years.
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Jan 23, 2022 20:17
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Piell posted:AITA for wanting a family meeting to discuss all of the single women in our family? I wanted to know what the hell manual labor meant but the OP hasn't commented. I assume household chores, because if it's some sort of Fruit Tree Orchard on a Compound...? The comments suggest things like plumbing and electrical, which is few and far between. Wild. This feels like a cishet being confused as to why lesbians don't need men, because we 'need men to open cans / jars for you! How will you survive otherwise?!'.
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Jan 23, 2022 20:21
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"I used to have to move around every year/two years or so for a bit, owning actual furniture instead of fiberboard crap I could abandon on trash day" Last time I had to move across the state I either gave away or threw out drat near everything I had rather than pay to move old furniture. I bought all new furniture for the 1st time in 20 years and spent more for the good stuff now that I'm older.
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Jan 23, 2022 20:24
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value-brand cereal posted:I wanted to know what the hell manual labor meant but the OP hasn't commented. I assume household chores, because if it's some sort of Fruit Tree Orchard on a Compound...? The comments suggest things like plumbing and electrical, which is few and far between. Wild. This is a family that thinks a 27 year old single woman is destined to be a “maiden aunt”, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re very very remote and possibly generate their own power
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Jan 23, 2022 20:27
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Hughlander posted:AITA for asking a colleague to mind her own business after my dad "groomed" my mum and reporting her to my manager for this? This is a tough one for me. On the one hand, her mom was clearly an adult when she met her dad, but on the other, her dad is a cop.
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Jan 23, 2022 20:41
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quantumwell posted:"I used to have to move around every year/two years or so for a bit, owning actual furniture instead of fiberboard crap I could abandon on trash day" I guess I just don’t pay movers and rent a truck? It’s still way cheaper than buying new furniture every time you move. During that time I moved across the state twice and it’s not as difficult as people make it out to be.
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Jan 23, 2022 20:51
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lol i really don't care what any of you think about furniture anymore I [24M] am unable to bear my girlfriend's [23F] of 5 years no sex policy quote:Me [24M] and my girlfriend [23F] have been in a loving relationship for the last five years. She has a stance of waiting for sex till marriage, which I was okay with in the first four years of our relationship. But, the past year I have found it more and more difficult to not be frustrated by this. Bear in mind that we do a lot of naked foreplay, but we never have proceed till sex because she always shuts that down.
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