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A good old-fashioned hoot-enanny EDIT: I'm good with this snipe 
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Jan 29, 2022 05:49
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https://twitter.com/smelforddip/status/1478845058946375681?s=21
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Jan 29, 2022 07:05
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What if you had a bunch of chickens and tomatoes and you also had an employee you didn't have to pay who could watch the chickens and tend the tomatoes?? And that employee could legally never leave your land without a permission slip signed by you, or the police could murder them? And you could feed that employee kitchen scraps and make them live in a shack that they built themselves! Just think of how efficient all of that would be!
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Jan 29, 2022 07:27
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Well that is just delightful
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Jan 29, 2022 08:06
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zoux posted:https://twitter.com/BeschlossDC/status/1487132240861671430 Lincoln was doing what to the kittens? Oh. Right. No wordfilter.
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Jan 29, 2022 12:58
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:What if you had a bunch of chickens and tomatoes and you also had an employee you didn't have to pay who could watch the chickens and tend the tomatoes?? And that employee could legally never leave your land without a permission slip signed by you, or the police could murder them? And you could feed that employee kitchen scraps and make them live in a shack that they built themselves! Just think of how efficient all of that would be! First sentence: "What, like... a child?" After that: "Oh. Not like... Okay, not like most children."
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Jan 29, 2022 14:15
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Is the owl superb?
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Jan 29, 2022 14:20
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I worked at a Borders when the last Harry Potter book came out and we had a midnight opening, and we had a guy who brought owls for people to meet, and a guy who brought snakes. The owls were pretty good but things had to be kept very careful around them. The snakes gave no fucks and I got to meet this albino python that was awesome. That is my owl party story. I would host an owl party in my garden any day.
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Jan 29, 2022 14:48
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It'd be a hoot!
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Jan 29, 2022 15:25
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Redonionking posted:Is the owl superb? I would definitely attend a superb owl party
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Jan 29, 2022 17:08
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Funny or Die gave Vinny Thomas the reigns to their Twitter account yesterday. https://twitter.com/funnyordie/status/1487114787142000641?s=21 https://twitter.com/funnyordie/status/1487168807646810113?s=21 https://twitter.com/vinn_ayy/status/1450535053281402883?s=21 Last one was a retweet of an older video I hadn’t seen.
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Jan 29, 2022 17:50
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That last little eye movement is just 
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Jan 29, 2022 18:43
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https://mobile.twitter.com/bobby/status/1487230169299439619
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Jan 29, 2022 21:04
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You need much more land, manpower and technology to make millions of tomatoes than most people could reasonably acquire. So, the means of production. Unfortunately it's all taken. Real talk, this is the clearest demonstration of leftist ideas since the time I worked at Amazon and first developed an intuitive understanding of the parasitism of capital. Miles of aisles of products that say "made in Bangladesh" and so on, some of it owned by customers who sometimes had no other source for these products, but most of which is owned by impossibly rich stockholders who have the least to do with most of this stuff despite benefiting the most from them. And yet because these things are created according to consumer demands, it's mostly stupid poo poo ranging from single use kitchen equipment to homeopathic scam-water to books on how to be a good middle manager. And let me tell you, "How to Get Work Done Through Other People" is certainly a book title to make you see red after 14 hours of ruining your body to contribute to Jeff Bezos' meaninglessly vast fortune. So much trash created through the waste of countless lives for the sake of nothing worthwhile. But none of this would be any more defensible if we were growing tomatoes instead, would it? Thank you for the reminder, random dumb rear end in a top hat on Twitter.
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Jan 29, 2022 23:07
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I love describing an owl encounter as 'meeting' owls. I'm just imagining a formal diplomatic procession where you go down the line shaking their talons.
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Jan 29, 2022 23:17
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The owl won't even remember you. You're just a number to them
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Jan 29, 2022 23:23
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getting excited for the owl party and then feeling let down when it turns out to be a tawny frogmouth instead of an owl
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Jan 29, 2022 23:54
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Crazy they were able to bring Gandolfini back from the dead to reprise his role.
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Jan 30, 2022 02:06
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Jezza of OZPOS posted:getting excited for the owl party and then feeling let down when it turns out to be a tawny frogmouth instead of an owl I'd be just as chuffed if it was a tawny frogmouth tbf.
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Jan 30, 2022 02:19
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spookykid posted:I'd be just as chuffed if it was a tawny frogmouth tbf. But how would you know if someone brought a tawny frogmouth? For all you know your previous parties have all had one too.
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Jan 30, 2022 03:26
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Anybody what's got a problem with nightjars has got a problem with me
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Jan 30, 2022 03:26
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https://twitter.com/schizoenjoyer/status/1487116374086455302?s=21
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Jan 30, 2022 09:22
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Platystemon posted:Lincoln was doing what to the kittens? Historians still puzzled what Lincoln meant when he said "[he] will surprise sex you in the rear end in a top hat until you're making GBS threads bloody poo poo, you drat enjoyable human being" in a correspondence letter to Robert E. Lee
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Jan 30, 2022 09:39
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:What if you had a bunch of chickens and tomatoes and you also had an employee you didn't have to pay who could watch the chickens and tend the tomatoes?? And that employee could legally never leave your land without a permission slip signed by you, or the police could murder them? And you could feed that employee kitchen scraps and make them live in a shack that they built themselves! Just think of how efficient all of that would be! The plot of Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
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Jan 30, 2022 10:35
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Glory to Italia!
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https://twitter.com/RudeThighs/status/1487233700353871878
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Jan 30, 2022 12:33
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https://twitter.com/badsandwich/status/1487137288891117568 https://twitter.com/wigu/status/1487422828794327046 https://twitter.com/drilbot_neo/status/1487827194248196096 https://twitter.com/Morphinart/status/1487200838070284292 https://twitter.com/leonard_ritter/status/1487565253697277958
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Jan 30, 2022 18:15
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Sound on, obviously. https://twitter.com/TheoShantonas/status/1487549147695783939?s=20&t=E1-Nm3gMdpTp3aXHRlv4eA
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Jan 30, 2022 18:20
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Well I know what I’m making for a gift.
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Jan 30, 2022 18:45
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No, don't! Every time a new Klein bottle is made, we all get trapped inside of it!
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Jan 30, 2022 21:01
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https://twitter.com/marina0swald/status/1487886044880162816
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Jan 30, 2022 21:44
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https://twitter.com/sadcrowprince/status/1461726313518149637?s=20&t=7QcwPjWCh7JnV0A_uL0TrQ
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Jan 30, 2022 22:54
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https://twitter.com/Joshstrangehill/status/1487218845337079809?s=20&t=snLveyQ73-bo2z_7KMNQrg
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Jan 31, 2022 03:28
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https://twitter.com/idesofmerch/status/1487540552115630082
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Jan 31, 2022 03:31
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https://twitter.com/thecoochiehater/status/1487649780725596160
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Jan 31, 2022 04:00
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This sounds pretty sinister to anyone else? What exactly happened?
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Jan 31, 2022 04:07
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Milo and POTUS posted:This sounds pretty sinister to anyone else? What exactly happened? 
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Jan 31, 2022 04:10
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Milo and POTUS posted:This sounds pretty sinister to anyone else? What exactly happened? Nothing. The setup is that the parents are transphobic, and mourning their "son" transitioning, and that the narrator is defending them in an "I'm not transphobic, but..." kind of way. The joke is the parents are actually mourning because the narrator killed the (cis) son, thus subverting our expectation that the "it's not transphobic" is transphobia defending when it's actually a red herring, true, and totally irrelevant
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Jan 31, 2022 04:17
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I don't hate that I immediately understood this tbh
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Jan 31, 2022 04:34
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I didn't. It isn't loss.jpg, so what is it?
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Jan 31, 2022 05:22
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Arsenic Lupin posted:I didn't. It isn't loss.jpg, so what is it? 
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Jan 31, 2022 05:27
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