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therobit posted:AITA for telling my girlfriend she deserved to be laughed at in a party? Comments suggest it was probably "Song of Achilles." As one of the comments says, OP's gf:  "My ignorance is better than your knowledge," blabla.
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Feb 3, 2022 03:51
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Invisible Clergy posted:Setting that aside, what kind of white American racist even thinks about Hindus, much less has a hardon against them specifically? They make up a little less than 1% of the population. It's possible and likely for most people to live their whole lives without even meeting one. How could they possibly be inconveniencing him in any way? Terrible. Hope OP wins his hr suit. She mentions the wife said "bloody ___" at some point, which would explain the South Asian racism.
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Feb 3, 2022 04:04
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For most American chuds, it's not Hindu so much as Indian. "Ya know when ya call tech support and one of them dot-heads try to talk to you?" was something I heard every other phone call when I worked hotel reservations years ago. They were always so happy to talk to a "real American." Needless to say when the company outsourced us to India, I made sure to tell every caller that.
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Feb 3, 2022 04:07
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Grape posted:She mentions the wife said "bloody ___" at some point, which would explain the South Asian racism. The wife might be English, you're right. OP said he is living in the US, so I assumed all the other characters were American.
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Feb 3, 2022 04:07
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Cowslips Warren posted:For most American chuds, it's not Hindu so much as Indian. "Ya know when ya call tech support and one of them dot-heads try to talk to you?" was something I heard every other phone call when I worked hotel reservations years ago. Ugh. My mom is actually the mirror opposite of those people. She's a white lady who worked at various IT companies all her life, so she worked with a lot of people from the middle east and India, and whenever she talked with a tech support person who was obviously at a call center in India she took great pride in asking them what their real name was and making an effort to pronounce it correctly. She'd also try to make small talk about what region of India they were from and maybe comment with geographical factoids she knew. I like to think maybe she brightened the day for some call center drones by doing this, but then again I bet some of them were just thinking "Ugh, will this insufferable liberal American lady just get to the business at hand so I can get on with my day?"
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Feb 3, 2022 04:25
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I f34, want to divorce my husband m39 because he doesn’t want us to get a dogquote:And I don’t know if this is a good reason or not. We’ve been together for 11 married for 4. Up until last week he never let me lose hope completely but was stalling me. For the last year I’ve been bringing it up more frequently (you may say nagging) until he confessed we’ll never get one. It felt like some part of my heart died 😕 and now I want a divorce. He doesn’t believe me. He thinks I’m trying to emotionally manipulate him to do what I want but the thing is I totally respect and understand that he doesn’t want a dog and I can’t make him. Everybody is pissed now. Tell me what to do. Update: I(34f) want to divorce my husband (39m) because he tricked me about getting a dog quote:I mean wow everyone! I have never made so many people upset in my life, it was actually heart wrenching. I’m so sorry if my post offended anyone. I wrote it when I was heartbroken and wanted to vent and I meant every word and absolutely no disrespect to anyone. Yes I’m actually 34 and not a “child” and I do respect marriage. I just felt deceived by my husband because as I said I would probably not have continued the relationship with him if I knew he never actually planned on getting a dog.
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Feb 3, 2022 04:29
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Evil Willow posted:I f34, want to divorce my husband m39 because he doesn’t want us to get a dog I guess it worked?
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Feb 3, 2022 04:32
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sephiRoth IRA posted:I guess it worked? If you reward spoiled brats when they throw tantrums, they learn that throwing tantrums works, like pork chop OP from earlier, so this isn't exactly surprising. Hopefully, her husband realizes how much more pleasant his life is without a 34 year old child around and calls her bluff on the divorce. People who don't want children pacifying partners who do and have haggled them down to a pet never works in the long term. They'll just nag again until they get a kid or two.
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Feb 3, 2022 04:38
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Invisible Clergy posted:If you reward spoiled brats when they throw tantrums, they learn that throwing tantrums works, like pork chop OP from earlier, so this isn't exactly surprising. nah, gently caress him.
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Feb 3, 2022 04:43
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the holy poopacy posted:nah, gently caress him. Ok, so say you agree with OP and her  ing
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Feb 3, 2022 04:46
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Grape posted:She mentions the wife said "bloody ___" at some point, which would explain the South Asian racism. Op said they're American just from a region that uses bloody?? Idk I'm australian The company is Indian-owned and 20% of the staff in the American office are Indian.
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Feb 3, 2022 04:49
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Invisible Clergy posted:Ok, so say you agree with OP and her Why do you feel the need to infantilize her?
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Feb 3, 2022 04:50
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i wouldn't have married someone who was a hard "no" on dogs. if they said they were a "yes, but not right now" and then we got married and i found out it was a hard "no" id be super pissed. it has nothing to do with anyone buying things for anyone, y'all are being weird about this lady
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Feb 3, 2022 04:56
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oh i said y'all but it was actually just one person, my bad
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Feb 3, 2022 04:57
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Evil Willow posted:I f34, want to divorce my husband m39 because he doesn’t want us to get a dog If owning an animal is so important to you, perhaps force the issue in the first decade of the relationship.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:02
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bell jar posted:If owning an animal is so important to you, perhaps force the issue in the first decade of the relationship. Maybe don't lead on your spouse for ten years?
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Feb 3, 2022 05:05
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bell jar posted:Psycho poo poo. If owning an animal is so important to you, perhaps force the issue in the first decade of the relationship. Yeah. WIBTA if i asked for a free lunch cause he leftovers i took home for free had a piee of metal in it? quote:So my coworker had made too much of this one food for an order and no one else bought any by the end of the day so she said Icould take it home and I did.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:07
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Absurd Alhazred posted:LOL, as if they need to move to the South to put up Confederate flags.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:07
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Midnight Voyager posted:Maybe don't lead on your spouse for ten years? Well, yeah. But don't let yourself be led on for ten years, too.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:09
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Dik Hz posted:Take ‘em back please? I'm wondering if they form a significant percentage of that Congressional seat we lost in the last Census.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:09
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bell jar posted:Well, yeah. But don't let yourself be led on for ten years, too. I generally don't ever want to say "You are to blame for falling for someone you care about's persistent lies."
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Feb 3, 2022 05:14
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bell jar posted:Well, yeah. But don't let yourself be led on for ten years, too. *Actual time period doesn't matter this is a gross, unhealthy mindset. Edit addition: Dogs rule, personally never met a good person who was against them. Kung Food fucked around with this message at 05:17 on Feb 3, 2022 |
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Feb 3, 2022 05:15
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therobit posted:AITA for telling my girlfriend she deserved to be laughed at in a party? Honestly the people at this party come off as giant loving snobs, and I wouldn't want to hang out with them either.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:15
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Not sure how much I trust the accuracy of the person who is threatening divorce and forcing their husband to move out until their purebred puppy is born to accurately represent how “lead on” they were versus, say, not picking up on the topic getting blown off whenever brought up
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Feb 3, 2022 05:16
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Kung Food posted:Yeah how dare she let herself be manipulated for 10* years. You're welcome to think I'm a piece of poo poo, but I don't like dogs, and yet I would make that absolutely clear to begin with when dating someone, much less marrying them. It's a widespread dealbreaker, much like having children, or buying a farm.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:18
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Blastedhellscape posted:Honestly the people at this party come off as giant loving snobs, and I wouldn't want to hang out with them either. It might just be the fact that she tried to tell then they didn’t know what they were talking about in their own academic field because of something she read in a popular press book. lament.cfg posted:Not sure how much I trust the accuracy of the person who is threatening divorce and forcing their husband to move out until their purebred puppy is born to accurately represent how “lead on” they were versus, say, not picking up on the topic getting blown off whenever brought up Yeah, that’s how I read it too. Like, she doesn’t say he ever said that they would get a dog, just that he didn’t tell her he would never get a dog.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:24
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Midnight Voyager posted:I generally don't ever want to say "You are to blame for falling for someone you care about's persistent lies." As often comes up in the thread, believe someone's actions over their words. If someone says "I never drink beer," and you occasionally observe them drinking beer, go by what they do rather than what they say when the two conflict. If OP's husband says "maybe later" and after a year, two years, etc continues to not buy dogs, adopt dogs, take her to shelters to acquire dogs, talk to her about what kind of dog she wants, etc. then that is her answer. Any time in the last 11 years would've been fine for her to decide whether dog ownership is worth divorcing over. Her husband has definitely said "no" to her before, but she either forgot, chose not to hear it, or reacted negatively and started an argument over it. He learned from this it was not worth it to say no and that she could be pacified for some period of time by saying "maybe later" so he did that instead. Has no one else's parent ever said "maybe later" when you ask if you can pull over and get ice cream because they didn't feel like having an argument if they just said "no" or feel like playing an hour of the "but WHYYYYYY?" game? Or in adult life if you like, give someone your screenplay to read, ask them if they've read it yet and they pacify you by saying "not yet, I've been really busy but I'll get to it" and repeating this every time you harass them about it because they want to avoid the conflict that would arise if they just said "No. I did not read it. I do not ever plan to read it. Do not ask me about it again." lament.cfg posted:Not sure how much I trust the accuracy of the person who is threatening divorce and forcing their husband to move out until their purebred puppy is born to accurately represent how “lead on” they were versus, say, not picking up on the topic getting blown off whenever brought up
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Feb 3, 2022 05:24
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Kung Food posted:Edit addition: Dogs rule, personally never met a good person who was against them. We know a song about that, don't we? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxM7sLT0rQE
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Feb 3, 2022 05:25
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Invisible Clergy posted:As often comes up in the thread, believe someone's actions over their words. If someone says "I never drink beer," and you occasionally observe them drinking beer, go by what they do rather than what they say when the two conflict. So this advice is only applicable to the woman in this situation? Because you're saying she's not allowed to miss that he doesn't want a dog, but he's allowed to miss that she very much wants a dog. Also you're infantilizing the woman again by comparing her to a child. And putting things off like this is a really lovely thing to do in a relationship.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:25
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Blastedhellscape posted:Honestly the people at this party come off as giant loving snobs, and I wouldn't want to hang out with them either. Who wouldn't appreciate a round of conversation with some charming chaps about academic citations describing the divergent opinions on various historical texts? could you imagine discussing a common fiction author with the general public!? I would absolutely die of mortification!
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Feb 3, 2022 05:26
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DeeplyConcerned posted:Who wouldn't appreciate a round of conversation with some charming chaps about academic citations describing the divergent opinions on various historical texts? could you imagine discussing a common fiction author with the general public!? I would absolutely die of mortification! I've had run-ins with people pushing pseudo-science in my field and yeah, you know what, I eventually become an rear end in a top hat to them because they will invariably double down instead of even listening to an explanation from an expert.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:28
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Midnight Voyager posted:So this advice is only applicable to the woman in this situation? Because you're saying she's not allowed to miss that he doesn't want a dog, but he's allowed to miss that she very much wants a dog. Someone complaining about their SO not buying them a dog and then says "I'm not a child!" is childish behavior. Not really infantilization. Ok, so again, like the other person, let's say you side with the wife. If her husband is so horrible, then she should divorce him and get her own dog.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:30
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Please guys, you’re ruining National Play Your Ukulele Day! To help us move on from this horrible argument, here’s a situation where I am sure we will all agree both adults involved should be slowly fed into a giant mill saw by a villain from a James Bond film: Tried to help a guy i knew out with their taxes. somehow he took out 2+ payday loans on my 11 year old. we had a strict contract. help me get rid of the loans please. orgeon. quote:I know this guy my old co worker from my previous job. im currently unemployed have been the whole of 2021. as such, my taxes came out to 0% this year. my old co worker hit me up said I'm in the hole 3k with the IRS and cant afford it. i have 4 kids 1 10 1 9 1 7 and 1 2 year old. i get a lot of dependant benefits on my taxes. my 10 year old is austitc and gets the most deductions. since i didnt need to use any thiss year. my friend came up with an idea, I let him use my 10 year olds ssn to get tax breaks and he pays me 400 cash. he said he consulted a lawyer and had him draft a contract and that this was all legal. i didnt see the issue with this because I was in desperate need for $ and he was getting screwed by the irs. i signed the contract and gave him my 10 year olds ssn. he said he was able to get rid of most of the tax bill and thanked me. now. like a few days later. he said to me that he needed money but his credit score was too low to get any more loans, he said cna I use this SSN. i said no you can't. he said he already has and hoped I would be ok with it. said since my kid is 10 the credit score hits would be gone by 17 as thats the stautory limitations for when collections could step in. I looked it up and it is true so I wasnt worried. now he told me he opned a second loan with my kids ssn. I am worried these loans will ruin me as i am my kid mom. He won't stop opening loans. the contract I signed said he would only use the ssn for. tax breaks in 2022 only. how do I get the loans removed andthis guy to pay for the, . thanks
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Feb 3, 2022 05:30
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Invisible Clergy posted:Someone complaining about their SO not buying them a dog and then says "I'm not a child!" is childish behavior. Not really infantilization. Ok, so again, like the other person, let's say you side with the wife. If her husband is so horrible, then she should divorce him and get her own dog. Let's be clear, I'd say a relationship is poo poo if one of the partners put off anything like that for ten drat years before admitting they didn't want it all along. So yes, I would say she should leave him and get her own dog. Getting back together like this is doomed. I don't know why you're phrasing this as if I'll go "No, clearly this is a good result!"
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Feb 3, 2022 05:32
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Midnight Voyager posted:Let's be clear, I'd say a relationship is poo poo if one of the partners put off anything like that for ten drat years before admitting they didn't want it all along. So yes, I would say she should leave him and get her own dog. Getting back together like this is doomed. I don't know why you're phrasing this as if I'll go "No, clearly this is a good result!" therobit posted:Please guys, you’re ruining National Play Your Ukulele Day! quote:i have 4 kids 1 10 1 9 1 7 and 1 2 year old
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Feb 3, 2022 05:35
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Invisible Clergy posted:I... agree with these points 100%? I thought I had said the same things, but that must not be true. I apologize if my earlier posts implied otherwise. Might have got some wires crossed, it happens. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, here are some spare commas for that 10 year old's mother.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:38
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Invisible Clergy posted:Yeah, this. You are responsible for paying attention to what goes on in your life. And I don't even mean in this specific case. You come across as super victim blaming. Kung Food fucked around with this message at 05:46 on Feb 3, 2022 |
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Feb 3, 2022 05:39
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OP writes like this and can't track the ages if their kids accurately and never got suspicious why they would be seen as a tax resource?
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Feb 3, 2022 05:40
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Invisible Clergy posted:Someone complaining about their SO not buying them a dog and then says "I'm not a child!" is childish behavior. Not really infantilization. Ok, so again, like the other person, let's say you side with the wife. If her husband is so horrible, then she should divorce him and get her own dog. He may have bought her a puppy as a weirdly over-the-top reconciliation move, but that's not what she asked for originally. Title of OP is "I f34, want to divorce my husband m39 because he doesn’t want us to get a dog"
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Feb 3, 2022 05:40
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Midnight Voyager posted:Might have got some wires crossed, it happens. I was wondering where all those commas went. How exactly did OP think this was going to work? The IRS mails her friend the refund check because he says he is caring for one of her children now despite not adopting them or getting custody or whatever and then next year, OP claims all her children and the IRS just kind of rubber stamps it and doesn't wonder why this kid is yo-yoing between deadbeats year to year at random? The only surprising thing in this story is that OP didn't balk at the friend's scheme because she was already fraudulently obtaining loans to ruin her kids' credit.
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Feb 3, 2022 05:44
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