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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 00:47
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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AITA for not wanting to come to a family event unless both my Boyfriends can come?
LOL “I don’t want to go to the party unless I can force people to think about my dysfunctional love life.”
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Feb 4, 2022 08:38
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- BabyFur Denny
- Mar 18, 2003
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LOL “I don’t want to go to the party unless I can force people to think about my dysfunctional love life.”
What exactly is dysfunctional? It seems to be working well for her
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Feb 4, 2022 09:14
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- Alchenar
- Apr 9, 2008
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I'm sure there are people who are happy in a poly relationship and if you can find both of them then ask them how they managed it.
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Feb 4, 2022 10:03
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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Well, I am in a polyamorous relationship with the r/relationships and BWM threads and it is going very well.
The secret, as always, is open communication, not washing my rear end and being heavily leveraged on horse NFTs.
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Feb 4, 2022 11:05
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- Invisible Clergy
- Sep 25, 2015
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"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"
Malachi 2:3
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Well, I am in a polyamorous relationship with the r/relationships and BWM threads and it is going very well.
The secret, as always, is open communication, not washing my rear end and being heavily leveraged on horse NFTs.
The estranged parents thread pays all your bills, even though you never post in it.
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Feb 4, 2022 11:07
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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There’s two kinds of happy poly relationships:
-People who openly communìcated that they were poly and what boundaries they had before entering into a relationships
-Swingers
Both of which are basically completely different arrangements from the 'poly' relationships you mostly see the online trainwreck stories about.
And I suppose there's also these ones. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTsdKycVZZ4
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Feb 4, 2022 11:15
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- Soylent Pudding
- Jun 22, 2007
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We've got people!
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CW: fat phobic remarka
ORIGINAL: I (28F) feel like I'm ready to leave my marriage to my husband (42M), posted on January 5, 2022.quote:
edit thank you all for the overwhelming support and kindness, means so much!!
second edit I just found out he lost his job, and my gut is telling me he’s not being entirely truthful or is insanely down playing as to why he got fired. Now he wants to move down here with me, I 100% do not want him to.
My husband and I have been together for around 8 years and married for a little over a year. We met during work, I felt like he was the one for me at the time but red flags started showing up very quickly.
I am a plus sized women and can be very insecure at times and he has never ONCE made me feel any better, he has only made me feel worse. Once when he was spending the night at my apartment when we first started dating he told me "its okay, you can loose weight". The real kicker is he said this when he thought I was asleep. I told him I heard him months later, he made up excuses, I tried to forgive him but the words still sting.
The most recent issue is that I was offered a much higher position at my work, this required me to move a few hours away from where we were living and to a different state. This wasn't something I took lightly and I had discussed it with him prior to even applying for the position. Side note: I was asked to apply for this job so the chances of me getting it were very high. When I asked him if he would be willing to move and look for work there he said yes, so I applied.
While I was waiting to hear back, he decided to apply for a job locally that was better then his current position. I thought it was totally fine, it was a better opportunity and if I didn't get this job it would be a good fit. However I got the job. I took the job as soon as I was offered it because he had already said he was excited and willing to move, turns out his plans had changed without him talking to me. He ended up getting the other job and was suddenly completely fine living apart from me, without discussing long distance with me AT ALL. I'm happy he got the job, but I'm mad he didn't even look for work near me or try and be with me.
I have been living alone for around 5 months and he hasn't kept a single promise he gave me. He hasn't called often, he barely talks to me and when he does all he really does is complain, and he doesn't visit me often even though I'm only 4 hours away. I don't expect him here every week, but I have now visited him more times then he has visited me. He constantly makes up excuses for why he can't visit, and went as far to say that I should visit twice in a row because I could only visit two days due to how busy I am with work. The thing that I can't get over is the fact he didn't even really try to see me on Christmas, he and I both worked but he didn't bother to try and make it up that weekend. eventually I just told him don't bother.
There are so many other issues I could list with our sex life, how he watches porn constantly but our sex life is almost non-existent, how I feel more like a mother then a wife, how he will always side with others rather then me, but it would be too long of a post. I think a huge reason im staying in this relationship is because I am deathly afraid of being alone. Thank you if you took the time to read this all. Advice is welcome or just words of encouragement.
TL;DR: I think I might be ready to consider leaving my husband who decided he was okay with a long distance relationship when I wasn't.
(Paragraphs added)
comments posted:'I am deathly afraid of being alone.' Darling, you are alone now. It sounds like the relationship is over. You have your own place and your own money. Time to make a life with people who want to be in your life.
quote:UPDATE: I (28F) feel like I'm ready to leave my marriage to my husband (42M), posted on February 3, 2022.
Here is a little update to those of you who wanted one. First of all, I would like to say thank you for all the kind words and genuine advice, though it was all things I had heard before, it made a massive difference hearing it from strangers who don't even know me. All of that and my friends giving me some tough but much needed love, I finally got the courage to talk to my husband.
Not long after I posted my original post my husband called me to tell me he had ended up LOSING the job he abandoned me for. He doesn't have a good track record with work (Just in general has been seen as "lazy" ect.) so this wasn't shocking but was a COMPLETE slap in the face. Maybe I'm being harsh, but I felt let down again. As soon as he lost the job, he immediately started talking about how he was going to move in with me, I became sick to my stomach because I DID NOT want him here. I felt and still feel like a fall-back option. I wasn't his priority in the first place but now that he is down on his luck, it's just "easier" for him to move here and start over with my help. I told him to not look at jobs here right away and look where he is, and he somewhat agreed.
After about a week of us not talking he messaged me out of nowhere telling me that he had found a job in my area that "Was a great opportunity", he used the same wording he had used with the job he had just lost. I was talking with a friend when he sent the message, she told me point blank 'Talk to him now, or he is going to show up on your doorstep and you are going to be stuck in this situation for another few years, and you promised yourself you would talk to him this week." She was 100% right, so I went and talked to him.
I told him everything, how I felt, how I am feeling, how heartbroken I am, how his issues and his treatment of me have pushed me over the edge. He realized that a lot of what I said was things I had already brought up, he did own up to somethings, yet not everything. I had given him a million chances during the conversation to tell me the things I should improve on because I am well aware I am not blameless. I should have talked to him more etc. The only thing he could think of was the fact that I don't incite/participate in sex with him. I brought up my issues with sex and my insecurities, he said he understood but I don't think he understood how much it affected me (from my past trauma and other bad experiences), and how he never made me feel better. I then brought up how I hate how much porn he watches (side note: I don't hate porn, I just think excessive use can be bad), and how it gave him an unrealistic expectation of sex, he said, "I feel like I have to watch it to get turned on to have sex with you", that comment made my stomach drop, and my already low self-confidence deep dive even lower. Also, I knew this was a complete lie, as he NEVER initiated sex after watching porn- not once. I knew right then I was done. How could I even consider repairing this when he feels like he needs to watch other people to get turned on enough to have sex with me?! Mind you, he would casually watch porn without jerking off or anything, this man always had porn open like a Spotify playlist.
He is trying DESPERATELY to keep me, messaging me constantly how much he loves me, making YouTube playlists of songs, sending me flowers etc. but it's all too little, too late in my eyes. He's also downplaying the situation to his closest friends and family, just chalking it up to me being upset with him. All of this just makes me more upset, anxious, on edge, and quite frankly mad.
I already started filling out paperwork to file for divorce when I am 100% ready and will be asking him to stop texting me as much (particularly all the lovey dovey out of character stuff) and sending me things this week. This whole thing has been a lot, but I am grateful for everyone who took the time to send me words of encouragement. I have realized, and am continuing to realize, my self-worth and I know I am worth so much more than a man who never tried in our whole 8 years of a relationship up until now. There's more I could get into, but I think I'll leave it here. Thank you all again for all your kind words and advice. Feel free to comment on the original post if you’d like to say anything, or would like to give words of wisdom or advice.
TL:DR: I finally talked to my husband about everything and will be leaving him soon. Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post!
OP in reply to a comment about love bombing posted:
We had (he still does) lived with his older brother who literally had a book in our living room, in proud display called: The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. I would not be shocked if his brother gave him absolutely horrendous advice from that awful book. Nor would I be surprised if love bombing was mentioned or veiled as a tactic in that book
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Feb 4, 2022 15:38
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- Soylent Pudding
- Jun 22, 2007
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We've got people!
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Double posting for some wholesome content:
TIFU by getting shot by my datequote:
Okay, let me preface this by saying, UK, it was an air rifle within legal limits (12 ft/lbs) so this was bad, but not as bad as it could've been across the pond.
I (M22) like to consider myself an experienced outdoorsman, I spent most of my childhood camping and I still always try to go once a month minimum, 3 years ago I bought myself an Air Rifle for target shooting (no animals have ever been harmed in my trips). Recently I started talking with Ellie (19F). We really hit it off thanks to a shared love of nature, animals, and scary stories. We had planned to go on a hike for our first date.
Then she found out I have a rifle, and instead she wanted to go shooting. Okay, fair enough.
Fast forward to day of, I picked her up, we drove out to my usual spot, and got set up. I showed her the basics of firearm safety, then we got shooting (important detail, Ellie is an awful shot)
About 90 minutes in I've got my camping stove set up, and I'm making a brew. I suddenly need to answer the call of nature and ask Ellie to finish brewing up, on my way back I don't hear any shots, and assume Ellie is making a brew so, obviously she won't have the rifle aimed downrange. So I cut across the range to get back quicker. Didn't occur to me that she was reloading. I make it up over the Ridge onto the range just in time to hear a crack and a searing pain in my left shoulder.
I drop to the ground behind the Ridge, half expecting another shot, before I hear Ellie scream out and I get back up, making my way back to our spot (trying my damndest to do my best nonchalant "tis but a flesh wound" face despite how I'm bleeding badly with a .22 lead pellet in my shoulder. Ellie can't stop apologising, I'm trying to calm her down but she's crying and convinced she's going to prison. We pack up the equipment (rifle, matts, a tarp we were using as a cover, stove), and I pack the wound with some cotton wool pads from her bag and hold in place with duct tape I had in the glove box.
After a long, very awkward drive we make it to the hospital, and we head into the Emergency room, we waited for about 20 minutes before I was seen to by a Dr, and got the pellet hole properly cleaned and the pellet removed. All the while Ellie is being grilled by a nurse about "just how the young man got shot", and I have to intervene when she talks about reporting this to the police, assuring her the accident was my fault.
Me and Ellie stay in the hospital for about an hour, eating poo poo from the vending machine and drinking god awful coffee, before deciding that things didn't actually go that bad, and setting up another date. (No weapons involved this time).
This morning, I wake up to a 3000 word essay from her, about how sorry she is, how much she enjoyed our time out and how she's terrified she ruined any chance of us working out 😅
TLDR; girl shot me on the first date, and then panicked she'd scared me off...
Honestly if things go well, this will be a hell of a story to tell the kids about just how me and their mum met
Second date updatequote:
Well for those who wanted to know, things went beyond well.
She came round about 6.30, looking very sheepish, I asked why, and she gave me a small gift. A wrapped tin of .22 air rifle pellets. Tension eased quickly after that moment, we chatted, laughed about yesterday and you guys responses to the story. I cooked dinner, we ate over a glass of wine or 2 and then watched TV for a few hours and finished off the wine. By the end of the night she was cuddled with me on the couch, my arms around her, her head on my chest while she wore a hoodie of mine, talking about life and how this would be a great story to tell for the rest of ours. The night ended with a long walk together back to hers, a kiss on the doorstep, and a decision that a pellet wouldn't be the only thing going too fast. To cut a very long, very intimate, and very romantic night down to one sentence. Ellie and I are now together.
And for the inevitable questions and jokes. She said she was cold despite having a blanket over us, I offered a hoodie like a gentleman, she accepted, and I've now realised I fell for the oldest trick in the book and my favourite hoodies gone forever.
Either way, I should have gotten shot sooner.
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Feb 4, 2022 15:50
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- Flared Basic Bitch
- Feb 22, 2005
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Invading your personal space since 1968.
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AITA for requesting my(25F) fiancee's(26M) sister(17F) not be at our wedding
If someone went into labor at my wedding I’d be loving AMAZED. I’d also tease lil niece/nephew about interrupting the ceremony until my dying day.
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Feb 4, 2022 15:58
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- dog nougat
- Apr 8, 2009
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CW: fat phobic remarka
ORIGINAL: I (28F) feel like I'm ready to leave my marriage to my husband (42M), posted on January 5, 2022.
(Paragraphs added)
Why tf would you marry this person in the first place?? 
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Feb 4, 2022 16:01
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- Chef Boyardeez Nuts
- Sep 9, 2011
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The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.
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What are you talking about? The kid wants to call OP "dad" in public, the OP is comfortable with it, both relevant parties have consented. Why should the piece of poo poo ex-dad factor into this at all? It's not like cowtowing to the demands of an abuser make them behave better, it just teaches them the way to get what they want is by acting out.
The short term, potentially expensive problem with this is that, if biodad is telling the story unrebutted to a friendly audience, it sounds like parental alienation. It's not, but I've seen lots of lovely dads (and a few moms) spin themselves up to taking it to court. The "easy" way to handle it at that point is a judicial interview where the kid talks to the judge without lawyers present. In that environment it's really easy to tell the difference between "my dad is a piece of poo poo" and "my mom says my dad is a piece of poo poo."
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Feb 4, 2022 16:15
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- Sisal Two-Step
- May 29, 2006
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mom without jaw
dad without wife
i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
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Low self esteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem
Yeah. If you dig into these people's histories, you'll usually find some example of dysfunctional home life, or abusive past with their family. Something that's hosed up their metric of a healthy, supportive relationship. So many OPs talk about how their partner is bad, sure, but they aren't physically abusive like their last partner so...
Palate cleanser for a Friday morning: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/skafs0/the_tales_of_wednesday_the_cats_labor_and_her/
Sisal Two-Step fucked around with this message at 16:32 on Feb 4, 2022
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Feb 4, 2022 16:20
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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AITA for telling my “roommate” to find a new place when he called me a pervert?
quote:First timing posting hope this doesn’t break the rules but I need to know if I’m the rear end in a top hat here.
My wife is my best friend, we game together, we hike together, we play dnd with our friends once a week together and we’re expecting our first kid soon, overall I’m over the moon. Obviously though, we spend a lot of time together so I guess I could see how maybe my perspective is skewed on what’s “appropriate” so I’m posting here.
A few months ago one of our mutual friends fell on hard times. His long term partner kicked him out, he’s been laid off almost a year at this point etc., he asked if he could stay in our guest room for a few weeks, wife and I agreed. A few weeks turned into a few months, no big deal but we are getting a bit antsy to have our space back. We told him he needs to be out in two months though because we’d like a little “baby moon” before our child gets here.
Since my wife and I got together we’ve been a daily intimate kind of couple, also through pregnancy. I know this is tmi but I just want to explain this isn’t a fetish thing. We did it daily for years before pregnancy and it’s continued. I’ll admit I do find it very sexy she is carrying our child but I’ve always found her sexy.
Well last night our friend tripped the shut off in his bathroom (it has one of those moisture shutoff things, you don’t need to reset the breaker but reset on the plug) and came up to ask us how to get the lights back on. I guess he was right outside our door and listening to see if we were still awake and heard us.
This morning he “sat us down” and said he was really uncomfortable to know we were doing that while he’s in the house. I pointed out to him that some days he doesn’t leave the house at all (most days if we are being honest) so it’s kind of inevitable, his room is also on a whole different floor. He then said for the next two months he will go for a walk once a week so “we can if we must” I told him that wouldn’t work because it’s a daily thing.
He then got very upset and demanded to know if it was true we’d done this everyday for the three months he’s been living here and said with my wife’s “condition” he wouldn’t have expected that and that I was a pervert. He then went on to say we are both perverted for doing that while he is here and that we violated his consent. I told him to find a new place to stay then.
He told some people about the exchange and while most people have said he’s being childish others have also said me kicking him out 2 months earlier than we last said over it is extreme. AITA?
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Feb 4, 2022 16:52
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- Ouhei
- Oct 23, 2008
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 Cat Army
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There's an update to the sleeping on the couch post that was here a few days ago.
CW: Really skeevy sexual predator behavior in the update.
quote:So a lot of people asked me for an update and since I don’t really want to think about this whole situation for some time, I decided to quickly make a post before I put this entire thing behind me.
A lot of you were understandably harsh which I appreciate and I admit that I should’ve been more firm and shouldn’t have let my husband sleep on the couch at all. Yes I didn’t handle the situation too well but I honestly did the best that I could given the fact that my mom was yelling and my children were starting to get irritated and were very close to waking up and crying. We needed my mom to leave so that our kids wouldn’t wake up/cry and so my husband decided to just go to the couch.
I also am quite aware that my parents were being prejudiced/racist towards my husband. I never excused it. The only reason I was calling my parents weird/awkward is because they were acting like that. As in, they were fighting each other quietly/in their heads. This is what I meant every time I said they were acting weird.
Now for the update.
I told my husband that I was really sorry for how my parents treated him. He told me he genuinely didn’t care and that he’s sorry that he’s causing so much trouble. Yeah... no. I made sure he realized that this situation is NOT his fault. We had a heart to heart talk and eventually decided that we’d talk to my parents together when my dad finally came home.
So basically I told them that they disrespected my husband last night. That we both are married and have kids and are planning on having MORE kids. We were going to sleep in the same room in the same bed just like other married couples and if they had a problem with that then they needed to figure it out because while I made a mistake by not standing my ground the first time, I wasn’t going to let it happen again. I told them I was 100% willing to go no contact again and that I wasn’t afraid to do so.
My dad immediately started yelling at my husband??? He called my husband weak, pathetic and said he wasn’t good enough for me. He also said that my husband ruined me and my future and that I’m now dirty and sinful and all that. I shut that down right away. I told my dad that he was weak and pathetic not my husband who has been there for me and done things for me that my dad would NEVER in his life do for anyone.
That’s when my mom finally decides to jump in. She told my dad to stop acting creepily obsessive over me, that I‘m not his doll and I’m not his property. She mentioned a few disturbing things I’d rather not repeat as I’m still having trouble processing them myself but she also called him out for being jealous of my husband.
My dad left the house and according to my mom he probably went to a hotel or something.
My mom apologized for everything. She even apologized to my husband for when she barged into the room while we were changing. She said that my dad and her had been fighting all day and that she wrongly took her anger out on us. She said she understood if we didn’t want to stay any longer and for the sake of well everything, we decided to leave.
And that’s that. I don’t really have much to say because my mind’s been kind of empty? I’m just numb and sad but also relieved? My dad and I have had a lovely relationship since I was 18 but knowing what he really thinks of me and my family hurts a lot. And it isn’t even because of our culture or religion. It’s just him being a lovely person and because of this I’m going to go NC with my parents. Again.
I didn’t expect so much attention and I’m admittedly really overwhelmed. I don’t use reddit at all and wrote my post out of frustration. Thank you all for your comments/dms. I know that there are things that a lot of you just won’t get due to cultural differences and I didn’t include a few details for privacy reasons but those things don’t really matter.
We’re finally home after the most exhausting days of our lives and again, I feel so incredibly numb. My husband keeps checking up on me in fear that I’m going to have a breakdown but I just don’t feel anything. My MIL and FIL are coming over to babysit the kids while we go out for dinner since restrictions have been lifted so I guess I’m happy for that. I don’t know but this state of numbness happens to me sometimes and it usually passes in a day or two so I’ll be fine.
This is getting very long so I’m going to end it here. I’m sorry if I skipped a few things but I hope you guys understand that I’m not in the right state of mind.
Stay safe everyone 
Edit:
I’m still in contact with my mom. I can’t force her to leave my dad but I am helping her and will be there for her if she ever needs me.
I appreciate everyone’s comments, advice and kind words. Thank you so very much. Unfortunately I’m going to be logging out as I’m getting a few messages that are actually really hurtful.
Turns out my husband was right lmao. I suppose I am about to have breakdown as the things that my mom told me are beginning to freak me out and overwhelm me. Like a few of you said, perhaps it’s time for therapy.
Thanks once again for all the advice and kindness
Comment OP left under update post
I didn’t call anyone ignorant. I just said that if you aren’t South Asian or Muslim a lot of things may not make sense which is perfectly okay. I also said that it doesn’t matter in the end either as culture and religion doesn’t excuse anything. By privacy I mean that I don’t feel comfortable sharing everything in too much detail. I don’t know why this is an issue.
I know I didn’t defend my husband properly over the couch situation. I’m well aware and I feel guilty over it (which I know is my fault). I tried making things right and I know a lot of you think I don’t deserve my husband which yes, I honestly think no one deserves him. There is nobody as kind and wonderful as him.
And what do you mean by half truth? Did you want me to tell everyone that my dad thinks I’m a disgusting whore that’s only successful because I sell my body to white men? That my own father objectifies me and has said horrific things about my body? That he has tried doing things to me and I never noticed? That my mom knew and never said anything because she was scared? I’m sorry that I didn’t tell everyone the “full truth” but I’m still trying to process this ffs. I’m trying so hard to not shut down because I have my kids and my husband and they shouldn’t have to deal with this.
I appreciated everyone’s advice and so many of you were extremely kind and understanding. I even appreciate the harsh ones because like I said, I needed to hear it. I read everyone’s comments and dms and really tried to take everything into consideration to be a better person and I’m still trying to be better despite everything. I’m sorry if that isn’t enough for you and everyone else that’s sending me similar messages.
Ouhei fucked around with this message at 17:20 on Feb 4, 2022
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Feb 4, 2022 17:02
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- Hellblazer187
- Oct 12, 2003
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gross. I like updates in general, but, uh, gross. Maybe a CW on that one would be appropriate?
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Feb 4, 2022 17:06
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- Scags McDouglas
- Sep 9, 2012
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Comprehensive list of the posts
That husband is a saint. If I were getting singled out to sleep on the couch compared to a different son in law, and the best excuse they could muster is that they hate white people I'd probably just go get a hotel and never step foot in there again.
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Feb 4, 2022 17:10
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- Nebrilos
- Oct 9, 2012
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AITA for taking away the bra that my Sister bought for my Daughter?
My Mommy senses were going off
Somehow this person's use of "Mommy senses" just makes my skin crawl.
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Feb 4, 2022 17:10
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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There's an update to the sleeping on the couch post that was here a few days ago.
Turns out the OPs dad isn't just a racist poo poo, he wanted to gently caress his daughter and was real mad that her husband was doing it instead.
As always, the redditors are almost as lovely as the the rear end in a top hat in her story.
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Feb 4, 2022 17:21
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Yeah, my mommy senses were limited to "uh-oh, I know that look in the eye and that squat".
Not, “gently caress, it’s been like five minutes of silence. What are they up to right now?”
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Feb 4, 2022 17:23
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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There's an update to the sleeping on the couch post that was here a few days ago.
CW: Really skeevy sexual predator behavior in the update.
Turns out the OPs dad isn't just a racist poo poo, he wanted to gently caress his daughter and was real mad that her husband was doing it instead.
early front runner for the 2022 Keep It Classy Reddit awards
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Feb 4, 2022 17:38
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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early front runner for the 2022 Keep It Classy Reddit awards
Better name a special award after Donald J Trump for racists who want to gently caress their daughters.
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Feb 4, 2022 17:46
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- hawowanlawow
- Jul 27, 2009
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it should be legal to spray creeps with a fire hose at any time
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Feb 4, 2022 17:50
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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It's a fat glasses-wearing dork raising a finger and saying WELL ACTUALLY
I always thought it was supposed to the tail of a speech bubble
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Feb 4, 2022 18:03
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- Chef Boyardeez Nuts
- Sep 9, 2011
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The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.
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You have a much higher opinion of judicial competence than is warranted
I've yet to see them get it wrong.
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Feb 4, 2022 18:06
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- Foo Diddley
- Oct 29, 2011
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cat
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There's an update to the sleeping on the couch post that was here a few days ago.
CW: Really skeevy sexual predator behavior in the update.
Turns out the OPs dad isn't just a racist poo poo, he wanted to gently caress his daughter and was real mad that her husband was doing it instead.
hey remember that one post about how raising a daughter makes you the ultimate cuck? 'cuz i sure wish i didn't
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Feb 4, 2022 18:08
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- Halloween Jack
- Sep 12, 2003
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I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
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How are people this square at 35?
Reddit has judged her TA, but a handful of people have voted NTA and she's responding to those people. lol.
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Feb 4, 2022 18:17
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- Sisal Two-Step
- May 29, 2006
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mom without jaw
dad without wife
i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
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WIBTA if I declined a wedding invitation after accepting, but didn’t send a present?
quote:
My partner, Martin, took me out to dinner to meet his close friend Andy, and Andy’s fiancée, Anna. I thought we got along well, and Andy said he hoped to see me as a guest at his wedding.
Martin, Andy and Anna all work for the same employer. Martin is part of the employer’s leadership group, but neither Andy nor Anna are in his reporting line.
Also, fake names and timeline of events is compressed.
Martin’s invitation was addressed to him “and guest”. He accepted for both of us.
A week later, he told me about a phone call from Anna. Apparently she’d miscalculated the number of guests they could have at the venue, and would I mind terribly if she cut me from the guest list? Apparently Anna was too embarrassed to ask me herself.
Since we’d only just met, it seemed reasonable I was one of the guests to be cut. I asked Martin to tell them personally that I understood, and pass on my best wishes.
Then Andy called me, and said he hadn’t known about the issue with the venue. But some of his older relatives were declining due to health fears, so he would invite me personally.
My invitation arrived in the mail, with my name on, and I accepted.
That's when things got weird. I bumped into Anna when we were both out shopping. She said we hadn’t seen each other since the dinner, and did I have time for a coffee? I said yes, and after we got our coffees and sat down, Anna said, “Can’t you take a hint?”
I asked what she meant. Anna said wasn’t it obvious she didn’t want me at her wedding? She understood I was unfamiliar with wedding etiquette and how things are done in this country, but the polite thing to do was decline the invitation and send a present.
I told Martin about this, and Martin told me about a similar incident at work. A work friend of Anna’s had confronted him about my “rudeness”. According to the friend, Anna was just inviting me to be polite to the boss’s girlfriend, and I should be just as polite and decline the invitation.
We talked it over, and I am not comfortable going. Martin is going to talk to Andy in person and ask what’s going on, before he decides what to do.
The issue is: should I give them a present? All of the wedding etiquette guides I’ve consulted, say that if you decline a wedding invitation after accepting, you should send a present. But frankly, I feel like I am being used, and giving them both a present feels like I’m saying I’m OK with that.
I’ve asked some of my family members WIBTA, but … let’s just say they’re biased and probably spend too much of their time on r/ProRevenge or r/MaliciousCompliance.
Really, WIBTA if I declined this wedding invitation, but didn’t give the couple a present?
Edit:
Thanks so much for all your replies. I really wasn't expecting this much feedback. When I posted this, I was really confused about what was the right thing to do in this situation, and actually a bit hurt. Still not quite sure what I will do, but now I am starting to see the funny side. And I'm loving some of the suggestions.
So as not to upset the mods, FAQ's and my family's suggestions are now here. quote:Update with FAQs and family suggestions
I'm about to start doing my evening chores, but before I go, I want to answer some of the most frequently asked questions.
What country is this in? We are in Australia. Of the four of us, I am the only one born and raised in Australia. Anna came here as a child, Andy and Martin as adults.
Why would I think I should give them a present? My Mum. She was a shining example of being polite and gracious in the face of outrageous behaviour, without condoning it. I guess I want to emulate her. But I just have no idea what the "polite and gracious" response is in this situation. Getting some clearer ideas though.
What is Martin doing? Martin hasn't decided yet. He wants to talk to Andy, and find out how much Andy knows, and how far he is supporting Anna. Then he will decide. He may still go, to support Andy. Or he may not.
Why is Anna doing this? I have no idea, but I have some guesses. My guess is she wants Martin, but with Martin's and my budget. I think she was hoping I would "supersize" the gift, and take it from the "bog standard model" to the "super deluxe shiny model with bells and whistles and hot and cold running water".
Why doesn't Anna like you? Again, no idea, but some guesses. I am a different religion to the other three, so she might not like that. My Mum arrived here as a child refugee, so she might be anti-refugee. And Martin and I out-earn Andy and Anna, so she might be jealous.
I didn't get a sense Andy developed a crush on me. We were predisposed to like each other, because we both know how important the other is to Martin. I didn't get a sense Anna disliked me at our meeting. My impression at the time was she might be slow to warm up. But I could be wrong. Probably was.
What are some of my family's suggestions?
Evil sister: (serious) - a generous donation to a charity of the groom's choice. That way, I look polite and generous, the bride doesn't benefit, and as other Redditors have pointed out, some good comes of this.
Evil sister: (not serious) - closer to the day, pretend I have symptoms of you know what, and I have to stay home until I get a negative test. On the day of the wedding, post pictures of myself on social media, doing fabulous things not at their wedding, and captioning them "Celebrating my negative test!"
Not quite as evil sister: Crochet toilet roll cover. Preferably one with a doll in it. Practical, with a retro feel. She has one ripe for re-gifting.
Brother: doubts they will make it to the altar. But has suggested an IOU to the groom for a present at his next wedding.
Now I'm off to brave the hell that is my local supermarket, then treat myself to a nice takeaway for dinner. Now we have to wear masks indoors, I have the perfect excuse not to recognise Anna if I see her!
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Feb 4, 2022 18:19
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 00:47
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Feb 4, 2022 08:33
is goonsay, its supposed to look like a stereotypical gross goon commenting on something. the --(.)-(.) is the glasses
