Sisal Two-Step posted:

WIBTA if I declined a wedding invitation after accepting, but didn’t send a present?

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

The short term, potentially expensive problem with this is that, if biodad is telling the story unrebutted to a friendly audience, it sounds like parental alienation. It's not, but I've seen lots of lovely dads (and a few moms) spin themselves up to taking it to court. The "easy" way to handle it at that point is a judicial interview where the kid talks to the judge without lawyers present. In that environment it's really easy to tell the difference between "my dad is a piece of poo poo" and "my mom says my dad is a piece of poo poo."

quote:

As if these were not significant enough impediments to the father-child relationship, Mr. Trumball introduced another. Both Lois and Michael complained that their father would besiege them with questions about why they did not want to be with him. Lois said, “We get into a long conversation. I don’t want to hear it … a lot of things about the divorce. We want to have a good time. He talks about that stuff and ruins everything.” She said, “If he wanted us to be happy, he’d let us live with our mom. He’s being selfish. He wants us to live with him in Virginia.” Lois particularly resented her father because “he starts talking to me about things I’m not comfortable about—all these questions about the divorce and 'Why don’t you like spending time with me?’” She recalled Mr. Trumball inquiring, “What did I do to deserve this? You used to like me.”

Perhaps most distressing to Michael was that his father continued to blame his mother for their situation. Michael told me, “He says, 'I don’t understand what I did to you. Mom has taken control of you.' He tries to make my mom feel like the guilty person. Dad brings us nice things to bribe us. He gives me things I like. My mom doesn’t have everything he has.”

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my “roommate” to find a new place when he called me a pervert?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my “roommate” to find a new place when he called me a pervert?

quote:

Hey Everyone, WOW! I did not expect this to blow up so much but my wife and I are really appreciating all the support and input!

I’m not sure if this is how I’m supposed to update to be honest but someone messaged me saying I should - anyways my wife and I talked about it last night and after reading some comments we wondered if maybe he was triggered by something. Or as others mentioned perhaps asexual and sex averse and we do have some Ace friends and didn’t want to be dismissive or kick him while he was down if it was coming from that place.

So we planned to just have a mature conversation about it this morning and let him know that we expected an apology for the perverted comment and that he was not allowed to dictate our sex lives, but if he could deal with it and apologise he could stay as a compromise one more month instead of the agreed upon two.

That did not end up happening. My wife and I came out of our room this morning and he was sitting in the upstairs living room and the first thing out of his mouth was a very accusatory “You did it again last night didn’t you?” My wife was over it at that point and told him she was sorry he felt uncomfortable but that the situation and him are now making us uncomfortable and so my invitation for him to leave from last night has now turned into a request and expectation from her he go.

He’s going to stay with another friend and we haven’t seen him since he went to go pack his room up but he’s made a point of loudly slamming his bags down whenever he brings one up to the main hallway so obviously he is quite pissed. My wife has decided to postpone the meeting she was going to have today to Monday as she doesn’t want to deal with all his thumping and whatever happens next while on a professional call so we are taking an early Friday off and are going to read through some of the comments while we wait for him to go!

My wife thinks we should celebrate having our house back tonight with a petty romp in the spare room after we change the sheets to dispel the anti-sex energy. I agree.

Scags McDouglas posted:

Traditions aside I couldn't imagine sending a gift to a wedding where I was disinvited rudely from.

At my absolute most generous I might be willing to send them a brick wrapped in one of those Amazon prank gift boxes for a Cheese Printer or a Showerhead Coffee Maker.

El Spamo posted:

A bag of dicks (tm) would be appropriate I think

WoodrowSkillson posted:

is goonsay, its supposed to look like a stereotypical gross goon commenting on something. the --(.)-(.) is the glasses

Sisal Two-Step posted:

WIBTA if I declined a wedding invitation after accepting, but didn’t send a present?

DemoneeHo posted:

I always thought it was like a gang or swarm of goons huddled together, all speaking the same terrible opinion. A goonmind, if you will.

Hughlander posted:

Invisible Clergy posted:

Also lol, nowhere lets you return underwear; gently caress off.

DemoneeHo posted:

Wait thats supposed to be a face with glasses???

I always thought it was like a gang or swarm of goons huddled together, all speaking the same terrible opinion. A goonmind, if you will.

quote:

Not the A-hole

I am a college student and in high school I dated Jon. I tried to break up with him over Christmas break this year but he said he wouldn't let me. That we had a future together and that I'd recognize my mistake in a few weeks. I told him that I'd realized I'm a lesbian and was sure. He just wouldn't accept it and said that we would talk again in a few weeks.

Afterwards, I had gotten texts every few days from Jon telling me he loved me forever. I texted back the first few times saying we were broken up but he just didn't want to hear it.

Then one day I was studying in my college dorm and I heard a knock on my door. It was my RA and she said that my boyfriend was in the lobby.

It didn't even occur to me that it was Jon. My college is several states away and he has no car.

I said that she must have the wrong person.

She said actually he said your full name and he's being kinda beliggerant with the guard, saying he traveled from (my home state) to see you.

I was like "holy poo poo no. You can't let him in. I broke up with him and he won't leave me alone, I had no idea he was even coming here let alone showing up unannounced. I need to study for an exam tonight!"

I was honestly panicking and she could tell. She said she would handle everything, I should just stay in the dorm and study, I'd be safe there and she'd make sure of it.

I thanked her profusely. I tried to put it out of my mind and study, my phone had already been on don't disturb and I kept it that way and I just studied all night. I was wondering what the gently caress had happened but I also knew how important the exam was going to be and that I needed to focus.

I didn't check my phone until I'd finished my exam the next afternoon, I knew whatever I saw might upset me.

And when I finally took it off don't disturb I had a lot of messages from Jon.

He first said that he'd come to visit me and show he wanted to work our relationship troubles out. Then he was saying the guard wouldn't let him in and could I answer my phone?

Then angry texts saying "did you call loving security on me?" and then a bunch of texts saying he was here with no car and no money and nowhere to stay and he was staying up all night in a gas station because he had nowhere to go and he thought the employees would kick him out soon.

Then a really angry text saying his mom had to give him the money to get a sooner flight home and now she might not be able to make rent. He was furious we spent 4 years together and I'd leave him out to dry when he came to try and work things out.

I feel conflicted. I didn't want to be with him but maybe I could have helped him at least find a place to sleep till his return flight like ask my guy friends if he could sleep in the guy's dorm. I have two friends who's roommates dropped out leaving spare beds.

AITA for not talking to my 'boyfreind' when he showed up uninvited after I tried to dump him?

Edited for spelling mistakes

Second edit... Everyone who's commented so far has been saying I did the right thing and have nothing to feel guilty for, which is really kind and I appreciate but I guess I still feel guilty and feel like I have something to get off my chest about what I did wrong in the relationship and in how I ended it...

I honestly do feel kinda bad because I insisted to him and everyone else for years that I was straight.

Even in my own head I was in denial; I knew I was attracted to women since my early teens but I tried to convince myself that I was bi, because if I was bi at least I could pass as straight in my hometown which was really not accepting.

I really wanted to believe I could be attracted to men, and I feel like I led him on by doing that.

I only felt comfortable to come out as bi when I was in college and found a group of really wonderful accepting friends, many of who are LGBT themselves. Then come out again as a lesbian once my friends had helped me come to terms with that.

But all that was happening within my friend group at college, and I can see how jarring and unbelievable it could be to hear that your "straight" girlfriend of many years went to college for a semester and became a lesbian. And how he could believe it is a phase or I'm confused. I feel guilty for that honestly.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

I always thought it was a bare stomach and the 'eyes' were boobs or moobs if you will. Huh.

Petra's close call:

AITA for not letting in my 'boyfriend' who showed up to my college as a surprise?

therobit posted:

Uh, let’s see. Well, he probably would have murdered you if you went to meet him, but on the other hand you did make him sad. Hard to tell what the right move was honestly.

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

I've yet to see them get it wrong.

therobit posted:

Uh, let’s see. Well, he probably would have murdered you if you went to meet him, but on the other hand you did make him sad. Hard to tell what the right move was honestly.

LanceHunter posted:

This one is just wild. It's written like she totally gets how bad the guy is, then she throws in "I feel conflicted."

Like, goddamn.

quote:

I (30m) have a brother "Nick" (39m) who has a son "David" (6m).

Nick has a wife "Katy" (38f) who has been diagnosed with lung cancer around 4 years ago.

When David was around 2, nick used to bring him over to my place 2-3 a week and I'd babysit him for few hours at the time, so Nick could take Katy to the hospital or if when he was working.

As the time passed, I'd babysit David more and more often. When he was 4, they all moved to another city because there was a better hospital and Katy would probably get a better treatment there. He also asked me to go with them, but I refused because I couldn't just leave like that.

After a month, Nick brought David over with all of his stuff and asked me if he can live with me for some time, saying that they don't have time to look after him and can't find anyone else there. For the last ~2 years, David has been living with me. Nick used to bring him to the city every weekend so he can be with his mom, but that didn't last long. Every weekend turned quickly into 1-2 days a month.

I've gotten along with David pretty well, but I don't miss those days when he was crying for his mommy and daddy every day, and me having to explain it to him every time.

Last week, Nick picked up David and they were away for 3 days. When they returned and David went inside, Nick called me to come outside to talk with him. The moment I got out, he started screaming at me,calling me an rear end in a top hat, saying that I ruined his child and accused me for turning his child against his own parents. He also told me that he wishes that I was the one with cancer, before getting to his car, calling me an rear end in a top hat once again and leaving.

Apparently David barely spoke with his parents, didn't want to greet his mom, kept saying that he doesn't want to be with them, that he wants me and cried few times to go home.

Before someone attacks me, I've never told David anything bad about his parents. I kept reminding him how much they love him and that they are doing their best to be able to be with him more.

I'm not sure what I did wrong. I'm just trying my best to help, because I feel bad and sad for everyone involved.

Hughlander posted:

We've seen these from the kid before how about from the guardian?

AITA because nephew prefers me over his parents?

quote:

Yes, he is still with me. We haven't had any convos regarding him moving back with them.

Hughlander posted:

We've seen these from the kid before how about from the guardian?

AITA because nephew prefers me over his parents?

quote:

I'm not gonna be shy about this. My sister sucks. She is a horrible self slcentered person who thinks she is the main character. She is not only a horrible person, she is a step monster.

She married this guy... Who is a freaking push over... 3 years ago. He has two children. 10 and 6. My sister constantly complains about them. Saying things like the 6 year old is gross because he sips too loud or has stained clothing. For the love of god.... He is 6. That's what a child is supposed to do. And she is so mean to the 10 year old girl. She acts straight out jealous of her. I've caught her taunting her, that daddy loves my sister more than her. She is horrible.

I have straight up called her out (after trying to talk to her like a million times) . At Christmas she was saying, that I'd be nice to have the kids there and I said "why... You hate them?". This was when everything was almost over and she had been bragging to her friends that her husband had spend more on her than on daughter. A fight ensued. My parents reprimanded me but my cousins took my side and called her out, noting every moment that they had witnessed her being horrible. Her husband obviously took her side and said, that she was a wonderful step mother and that the kids love her. To which I said that was a lie, as I had consoled them countless times after they were taunted by my sister. They left and we haven't talked since.

One day I was running errands and run into my step nephews who were with their mother. I had never met her... And honestly she is wonderful. We decided to have some coffee. While the kids were playing, she asked me how her children behaved etc. I said they were wonderful and then I just spilled the beans on my sister. How awful she was. What I've heard her say to the kids, the inaction of her ex husband. By the end she was horrified. She said the kids didn't like her. But she always chucked it up to my sister being the new woman In their fathers life. She said the kids never really said anything even when she asked. I then told her iw as very concerned for the children as my sister had straight up told the 10 year old, that it would be better, if she disappeared from her father's life. Their mother saw red and asked me if I'd be willing to "testify". She said that this was unacceptable and she would be taking their father to court again. I said I would recount the events that I witnessed and could ask my cousins who witnessed a lot too. She was very grateful. I asked my cousins who were all willing to recount the events. Word got arround to my parents and by extention my sister. And they have been calling me the biggest rear end in a top hat on the planet who would betray family on a whim. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

CharlestheHammer posted:

Yeah the kid has spend 1/3 of his life at minimum with the OP what did they expect.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

...does the dad want OP to treat his son like poo poo? What's the end game here?

CharlestheHammer posted:

Yeah the kid has spend 1/3 of his life at minimum with the OP what did they expect.

LanceHunter posted:

It's probably also extremely emotionally difficult for the kid to see his terminally-ill mother (hence the standoffishness), and probably difficult for the father who is caring for her. OP's brother shouldn't have blown up at him, but OP should probably have taken it in stride given the extremely difficult situation everyone is in.

quote:

Me(24f) and my boyfriend (26) have been dating for around ~9 months.

I’ve been riding horses since around four years old when I started taking lessons. When I was ten I started helping out this girl at the stable with her horse Lady. At 12 she told her she had to sell due to time/interest and asked if me and my parents wanted to buy Lady. Luckily for me, my parents were able to buy her and she’s been mine ever since. She’s my bestest friend and I love her a lot.

When I started to date my bf I was very honest with the fact that my horse takes a lot of time and he was fine with this. When single I could spend like three to four hours a day in the stable but as we started dating I cut this down. To about three hours every other day as this is roughly how long it takes for me to do all the cleaning/preparing food/riding. Also most of my friends are at the stable which obviously means this is also social for me. The other days I would not ride and try to spend less time talking which would make it about an hour. After about six months he told me I spent too much time at the stable and I should prioritise my relationship more and somehow his family got involved and saying it was strange to prioritize the way I did. I wasn’t comfortable with this but I am a bit of a pushover so I agreed.

At first this meant cutting down time at the stable but it has evolved into cutting down riding days. Now I ride about two days a week and the rest I’m simply there to do the basics. All of this as quickly as I can because otherwise I know he’ll be annoyed and pissed of for days and give me the silent treatment. I know my horse isn’t really suffering from not being ridden as often as before but I still feel very guilty that I’m always rushing around her.

Then last night he told me it was time to sell Lady. I laughed at him and asked if he was serious. He was. I told him no and he said I needed to start prioritizing this relationship more and I said I’ve done nothing but prioritize this relationship. We argued about it and he apparently thinks I can just put her down as she’s old anyways. I was furious at this and told him that was absolutely not happening and I would never sell her. He said that any reasonable person would sell or put down their horse in favor of their boyfriend and the only reason I wouldn’t is because I only hang out with other insane horse people.

So I come to you, reasonable people of Reddit, AITA?
Edit: So I never expected this to get as much attention as it did. I’m very overwhelmed and thankful for all your kind comments and messages. I am currently sitting with Lady in her stable crying my eyes out because this has been such a wake-up call for me. My boyfriend left to visit his family and friends in his old town earlier today before I posted so for everyone worried: all is well for now and I will handle this asap. First I need to go home and sleep. Thank you all for being wonderful

Breetai posted:

Nah, that's a misunderstanding of the biodad's headspace. You see, He's the kid's REAL FATHER, which means that he's ENTITLED to LOVE and RESPECT dagnabbit. The concept of the OP winning the love of the kid via actually being there for them is antithetical to this mindset, and also means that the biodad can be blamed for the situation due to his actions and choices. The concept of a child bonding with someone because of how they treat them rather than what they are is handily eliminated to protect the biodad's ego from feeling that he's at fault somehow, so we're left with "you must have been manipulating his to deliberately hate me somehow" as the conclusion that biodad has jumped to.

Cowslips Warren posted:

He seems to have?

I did a brief babysitting deal for a friend of a friend, and she had her two nephews who lived with her, ages 3 and 2. The parents refused to sever their parental rights, even though they saw the kids maybe once a month, always to threaten to take them away, before leaving on another drug binge. They claimed them on their taxes, of course, and insisted the 3 year old get circumcised so he "would look like his dad" in that regard, and took the kids when their aunt balked at putting a toddler through that. But of course they brought them back, and left again. So the kids see their aunt and uncle as mom and dad, and their mom and dad are strangers who show up, scream, take them away by force, only to bring them back a few days later when the fun has worn off, or the next fix is in town.

I wish I knew what happened to them. In my dreams the mom and dad died of an overdose, so the kids have a good life with their aunt and uncle. In my nightmares, the mom did as she always threatened and took the boys to her family in Brazil.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for refusing to sell my horse?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for refusing to sell my horse?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for refusing to sell my horse?

ponzicar posted:

I think it's a good idea to put down a useless animal and focus on true love. Unfortunately, euthanizing lovely boyfriends is still very illegal.

The_Franz posted:

On the one hand the guy is clearly an rear end in a top hat and good riddance to him. On the other, op is a horse girl, so best of luck to her in finding someone who will not have issues with always being prioritized below a horse.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

My best friend is a horse girl and got insanely lucky because her beau is in like international IT or something and does not give a poo poo how much she wants to be with her horse

They exist, but pairing them together is hard as hell since the combo is so rare