r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

He, also, apparently, uses two full rolls of TP per day in there. :confused:

EDIT: I have the best snipes. Here's some content:

AITA for giving husband fake medicine?

quote:

I've had a bottle of Norco from a root canal sitting in the medicine cabinet for over a year. Every month or so my husband, who works a very physical job, will ask for half a Norco after a particularly painful week.

I'm an rear end in a top hat but one day I decided to give him half a generic Tylenol instead. They look pretty similar. He took half a Tylenol, then proceeded to progressively get more "wasted" lol. He kept saying how much better he felt, giggling like he was loaded, acting high etc. But I knew it was only half a Tylenol. Ever since then I just give him half a Tylenol when he asks. He'll refuse to drive, talks about how he can REALLY feel how strong they are etc. It cracks me up, I'm an awful human.

So I still have my nearly full bottle of Norco, a big bottle of generic Tylenol and a pain-free happy husband. And I'm blown away by how the Placebo effect works.

Well, I finally had to let the truth out. When hubby found out I'd been giving him fake narcotics, he said I was the rear end in a top hat. It's not my fault fake ones work better than real.

Quackles fucked around with this message at 09:52 on Feb 6, 2022

# ? Feb 6, 2022 09:48

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# ? May 30, 2024 19:47

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Probably has some digestive issues then. He�s just painfully making GBS threads his guts out every day from 4:30 to 9:30 with a break in the middle for dinner, and all the while his wife is oblivious.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 09:53

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

But he also takes his phone and iPad in there, too. :iiam:

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:01

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

So it's porn and drugs?

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:13

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Quackles posted:

But he also takes his phone and iPad in there, too.

I mean, if you�re constantly having painful diarrhea you might as well watch some porn to take your mind off it.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:18

AnoHito: May 8, 2014

The Lone Badger posted:

So it's porn and drugs?

Hey now, I think his wife mentioned it, but he's a proper Christian

So porn, drugs, and his mistress.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:33

Brandfarlig: Nov 5, 2009; These colours don't run.

How the hell is it the wifes fault that he spends hours in the bathroom? Did she give him IBS somehow?

The entire thing is really weird.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:34

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for how I handled the pizza creep?

quote:

I 31F am a member of a group that convenes monthly to discuss current events. After our last meeting, someone suggested getting pizza. One of our members lit up and said they knew a great place to get pizza, a small independent pizzeria. I'm all about supporting small businesses, so I agreed.

When we arrived, the manager was very off. He greated my fellow group member very enthusiastically. He called her something in Italian that sounded weirdly intimate. He led us to a table and then handed out menus. We ordered without issue, even though his vibes were very unsettling. After he left, I asked the group member who recommended the place if they knew him personally, and they said no. They said they just went to the pizzeria a lot and was friendly with the manager.

Before our pizzas arrived, he brought us an order of garlic knots. None of us ordered any garlic knots, and I tried to correct his mistake. He said that they were complimentary as a thanks for choosing his establishment. I thought this was very presumptuous. After he left, I mentioned to the table that I thought it inappropriate to serve food no one ordered, because someone might be allergic. The group member said the knots were made from the same type of dough as the pizzas we all ordered, so there was no way anyone was allergic. Still, I didn't have any.

After our pizzas arrived, we ate without issue. The problem was when the bill arrived. No one was charged for their drinks, even though prices are listed on the menu. I pointed this out to the manager, to the annoyance of the group. He said it was a perk of being a regular. I said that I wasn't a regular, and he said he hoped I would decide to become one after today. At that point I'd had enough. I said his behavior was creepy and asked for my bill to be fixed. He looked upset, but he took the bill.

The other members of the group got annoyed with me. The one who had recommended the pizzeria was visibly angry, saying that I embarrassed them and potentially ruined the awesome discounts they get. I said that I felt uncomfortable with his overly familiar behavior and that the free food felt like a power play, a way to feel as though he had authority over us. They rolled their eyes and said I was ridiculous. They then got up to go talk to the manager.

They came back, slammed my new bill on the table and then stormed out. I paid in cash and left quickly as well, as I felt uncomfortable. I've been thinking over the situation and can't think of anything I did wrong, but some of other group members I texted said I went way overboard. Did I?

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:35

Gnoman: Feb 12, 2014; Come, all you fair and tender maids
Who flourish in your pri-ime
Beware, take care, keep your garden fair
Let Gnoman steal your thy-y-me
Le-et Gnoman steal your thyme

That has to be bait. I'm betting my sanity on it.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:40

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Lmao "the manager kept giving us free food and drinks. this is a creepy power play, I demand to be charged more"

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:41

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Who thinks like that. What the gently caress

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:41

Cobalt-60: Oct 11, 2016; by Azathoth

Watched too many Lifetime movies.

Or thinks it's odd that other people would make friends with the staff, like they were people or something.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 10:46

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Messed up and co-signed a bail bond. He ran.

quote:

I very stupidly helped an old friend bail her boyfriend out of jail. I happened to be back in town that weekend and she called me and said she didn't have a full time job so they wouldn't approve her to co-sign but she had all of the money up front, wanted him out for Christmas, promised up and down that she and his family would make sure he was there at court dates, and she's typically been trustworthy in the past. I agreed and met up with her and the bail bonds people and the guy's stepmom, signed paperwork,etc. I didn't realize until I got there how much I was risking but felt like I couldn't back out, everyone was there, so I trusted her and signed and they broke up not long after Christmas, he missed his court date, and now they're looking for him. They say he was in handcuffs at one point and got away, then his family asked for a week to get him there because they didn't want cops poking around because they apparently have some illegal business, and now he's just gone again. Is there anything more I can do to not have to pay this money? I realize I'm responsible here, I agreed, but it's $28,000 (I thought they said 20K when I signed.) And does anybody know how payment works? Can I make a monthly payment? Any other advice besides the obvious not to be an overly trusting idiot?

# ? Feb 6, 2022 11:47

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

I admit I'm a little put off by strangers acting overly familiar, but god drat, if you provide me with free garlic knots yes of course you can call me ragazzino or whatever you want, we're cool.

LanceHunter posted:

There are collectives and co-ops in the US. In fact, I lived in a co-op for a few years in college. But co-ops & collectives are usually more formal than the kind of �8 friends renting a big old house� situation op described (and I saw so often among people I knew). There�s generally a legal entity (usually a non-profit) and all the associated extra bureaucracy that involves.

And really, the kind of formal structure is needed, because pretty much from the moment the modern commune movement started in the US in the late 60s they became targets for cults and other groups who take advantage of welcoming attitudes and open-door policies to metastasize and take all the collective�s stuff as their own/abuse collective members/etc. There was a great documentary called Commune about one of the oldest running communes in the US, and even they had a whole section about the time a cult managed to infiltrate and essentially take over the property for years.

Yeah ok the first paragraph is the system I know. Either you establish the collective as a legal entity, or you're all renting rooms and shared spaces from a landlord. I'm sure they're far less common outside of places like Copenhagen, but I thought most people would at least have encountered the concept.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 11:51

Barudak: May 7, 2007

therobit posted:

Messed up and co-signed a bail bond. He ran.

What an astonishingly stupid person who I feel bad for

# ? Feb 6, 2022 11:55

syntaxfunction: Oct 27, 2010

Gnoman posted:

That has to be bait. I'm betting my sanity on it.

I've known people vaguely who genuinely do this poo poo. It's a combination of a non-existent power struggle (they must always have the upper hand), victim complex and sheer lack of social knowledge and etiquette.

That's it. They don't ever want to change their behaviour, they just want to complain and have people tell them they're right.

I had one of them tell me a bartender was being inappropriate to me. I had known the dude for a few years at that point because I would go to the restaurant before concerts. We talked a bunch, he gave me samples of expensive booze and I met his boyfriend. They swore he was trying to get in my pants. Spoiler: he was sexually repulsed by women.

loving wild.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 12:46

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for how I handled the pizza creep?

"How DARE I be given free food in a restaurant?!"

OP needs to get over herself. The owner of he pizzeria is not trying to seduce her with garlic knots.

syntaxfunction posted:

I've known people vaguely who genuinely do this poo poo. It's a combination of a non-existent power struggle (they must always have the upper hand), victim complex and sheer lack of social knowledge and etiquette.

That's it. They don't ever want to change their behaviour, they just want to complain and have people tell them they're right.

I had one of them tell me a bartender was being inappropriate to me. I had known the dude for a few years at that point because I would go to the restaurant before concerts. We talked a bunch, he gave me samples of expensive booze and I met his boyfriend. They swore he was trying to get in my pants. Spoiler: he was sexually repulsed by women.

loving wild.

Yeah, and an inflated opinion of how important/attractive/etc they are. One of the masks Main Character Syndrome wears.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 13:14

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

the restaurant manager is simply being italian. to be offended and angry is in fact anti-italian discrimination.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 13:38

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Just going to this small local restaurant with a big group of people, in a global recession caused by a disease that has put many similar establishments out of business... WHY IS THIS CREEP BEING SO NICE TO US?!

# ? Feb 6, 2022 13:59

A Bakers Cousin: Dec 18, 2003; by vyelkin

I mean the prices for the drinks were listed on the menu and he didn't charge us? Seemed SUSPECT

# ? Feb 6, 2022 14:27

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

this woman would post a video of the "free drinks" incident on r/publicfreakout and be really shocked that nobody treats it as an intense outrage

# ? Feb 6, 2022 15:20

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my husband he cared more about his bathroom time then his own his own kid?

im sorry how many hours??

he's reading the Bible. he's a good Christian family man

# ? Feb 6, 2022 15:26

OhAreThey: Oct 12, 2012; I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

Hughlander posted:

I know we had this post before but not all of the updates. This guy's version of reality is really sureal.

Me [35 M] with my wife [29F] of five years, wants a divorce after I requested a paternity test.

UPDATE 1

UPDATE 2:

I accused my wife of cheating at every corner, snooped through her computer, went on tinder before splitting up and dates after, she wants to reconcile but I deserve my privacy and don't want to give her access to my phone. Guys why is she being unreasonable and not getting back together with me?

(Yes everyone should have privacy but the hypocrisy is amazing.)

Wow. The only thing I can fault the wife for is that she didn't leave him sooner. When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 15:39

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

SirSamVimes posted:

Lmao "the manager kept giving us free food and drinks. this is a creepy power play, I demand to be charged more"

im so confused as to how this could be real life

# ? Feb 6, 2022 15:49

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

the restaurant manager is simply being italian.

Basically yes!
Like this is clearly an actual authentic lil mama & papa joint, and OP is flabbergasted at the existence of hospitality (and also doesn't seem to process garlic knots as the equivalent of bread-for-the-table, which they loving are lmao).

Like this person sounds like they have never actually been to anything that isn't a chain or some poo poo, never been anywhere that has a more down to earth personal vibe.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:18

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

Of course she hasn't, those kinds of places are for poors

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:28

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

This musical loud man with crude gesticulations came over and infringed on what I had intended to be a proper joyless evening of icy conversation and extreme drama subtext.
Needless to say I called the police.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:39

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Pizzerias give garlic knots away all the loving time. There's a place up the corner that uses a large garlic knot in the center of the pie instead of the little plastic tables.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:42

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for how I handled the pizza creep?

I 31F am a member of a group that convenes monthly to discuss current events. (snip)

Easiest post we'll have all day I think.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:45

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

I would probably start to cry tears of joy if someone gave me free garlic knots.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:46

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Next the creeper took out this, I wanna say.... BDSM device, it looked like a small circular saw attached to a handle I guess? Anyway back and forth he went with it across the cheese pie thing he'd served us. Cutting it into enough slices (maybe even more than enough??) for each person at the table. Straight up personalized attention.

Then he spent the next 20 minutes seductively arguing about Yonkers traffic with his wife and a busboy.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:46

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Biplane posted:

I would probably start to cry tears of joy if someone gave me free garlic knots.

OP is lucky it didn't come to violence with the person who was a regular there screaming "I will never jeopardize the garlic knots!"

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:51

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I've never encountered someone that oblivious. "Pizza creep" story is bait and it's hilarious.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:51

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

And with every garlicy word of his gross sex language that came out of his mouth.... came the gestures.
The hand motions.
He literally groped the atmosphere in front of him.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:52

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

AITA for getting a 26yo woman from a 25 and under support group?

quote:

My college has these support groups where students can, well, get help and support each other in the presence of a counselor. The one I attend is supposed to be for people 25 who moved for college and is going through adjustments related to moving. Most of the participants are (like myself) freshman. There is one girl who is a graduate student and she also moved to this town for college. She was 25 back when the semester began so she was allowed to join.

She mostly talks about like adjusting to life here in the new town, finding a part time job , struggling with her imposter syndrome and about missing her boyfriend who is going to move to join her this year etc. But the thing is....since she's older, it makes me (and some of the others although we don't say it out loud) uncomfortable that she's there. Like it just seems like she has different issues with adjusting. I honestly don't know why she bothers coming since it must be clear that none of us can relate and most of us kind of find her issues are in a different stage of life.

So anyway, I discovered that her birthday was in December which means she turned 26 already so I went to the counselor and told her this. Counselor said she was aware of it and that she had spoken to the 26yo and she asked to be allowed to join in until the end of this semester (which ends in late March). I wasn't entirely happy with that since they are breaking the rules so I let the admin section in charge of the support groups know this and well, they emailed her and she doesn't come anymore. The counselor must've also got reprimanded or something cause the last session she made a "statement" regarding how she was sorry for allowing someone to violate our safe space. She didn't say anything to me directly but during her statement she said she was only trying to help someone and that's why she did it. I couldn't help feel a little bad since well, 26yo is also a new student and all that but at the same time *she* was breaking the rules.

A couple of other students have mentioned that they missed her and even arranged to hang out with her. I though that was weird since she is older. Like why is this 26yo hanging out with 19yo's? She does hang out with people her own age but I still find it strange.

AITA?

Edit: honestly I think if she was a male student the responses would be way different

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:55

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Can you imagine this from the recommender's perspective? You have a great rapport with an awesome pizza place, you and your friends get free food and drinks,

And one time you invite someone who just pisses all the gently caress over it, like it's garbage, and will possibly ruin it for you. I would put a thumb through their eye and yeet them down the street like a bowling ball.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:56

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

The Op screams "You can't buy me Pizza Man!", throws the garlic knots on the ground, then storms out to reenact the rest of The Lonely Island's 'Threw It on the Ground', despite never knowing about the song's existence.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:58

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

I mean, I can be seduced with garlic knots.

# ? Feb 6, 2022 16:58

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

breaking into a cold sweat as I play Mario 64, trying not to jump or fall too much, there are children in the room...

# ? Feb 6, 2022 17:01

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# ? May 30, 2024 19:47

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

maybe anti-garlic knot lady is a wealthy vampire who has to spend her money in order to live

# ? Feb 6, 2022 17:02

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