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It seems to be dead for now? I keep getting error 500. This was the last story I got: In a world ravaged by war, Donald Trump is the only hope for the future. He's a visionary, a real estate tycoon, and a president with a plan. He's ready to make America great again, and he knows that the only way to do that is by building a wall along the Mexican border. But even Trump knows that water is the ultimate enemy. It's destroying our planet, and it's going to destroy us too. So he's decided to build a Waterworld in the middle of the desert, a place where the water will stay put and the people can survive. It's a bold plan, and it may not work. But if it does, it will be the greatest accomplishment in Trump's presidential career. 
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Feb 6, 2022 20:43
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Mike Stoklasa is an avid Star Wars fan, and he was so excited to see the new movie, Solo: A Star Wars Story. However, when he went to the theater, he was greatly disappointed. The movie was terrible, and it was clear that the filmmakers did not care about the franchise.
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Feb 6, 2022 20:46
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cat and librariesquote:Libraries are cat magnets. No matter how many times I tell people, they just can't seem to get the idea. I swear, if there were a way to strap a library onto my front, I would do it in a heartbeat. I'm not the only one who thinks so. Every time I walk into a library, I see at least one cat lounging around, looking for a good read. And it's not just any ordinary cat. These are the big, bad, librarians' cats, the ones who know the rules and how to get around them. Maybe it's the solitude or the peace, but the librarians' cats always seem to find the books they're looking for. In fact, they're so good at it, they sometimes even manage to take them away from me. But I don't mind. I love going to the library, and I especially love spending time with the librarians' cats. They're the best part of my day. Well, that's cute.
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Feb 6, 2022 20:59
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Story: Joe Rogan is one of the most popular comedians in the world and his fans love him for his unique, offbeat humor. But even Joe Rogan has his limits and one of them is fistulas. Fistulas are a very serious medical condition that can occur when a person's bowel or bladder become stuck in their rectum or bladder. This can cause intense pain, bleeding, and even death if not treated quickly. Fortunately, Joe Rogan is a self-taught medic and he knows how to treat fistulas. He has even written a book about it called 'Joe Rogan's Guide to Fistulas'. Joe Rogan's story is an example of how anything is possible if you set your mind to it. He has overcome tremendous odds and his story is a reminder that no matter how difficult life may seem, there is always hope. edit: It's no secret that Fred Rogers was a kind and gentle man. He always seemed to have a smile on his face and his love for children was clear to see. But even the kindest of people can have dark sides. One of Fred Rogers' dark sides was his love of sadism. He would often enjoy making his children cry, especially if it made them feel guilty. He would often say things like "I love making you cry, it makes me feel so powerful." But even though Fred Rogers had a dark side, he was still a very good man. He was always there for his children, no matter what. And in the end, his love was the most powerful thing of all. Dang It Bhabhi! fucked around with this message at 22:50 on Feb 6, 2022 |
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Feb 6, 2022 22:41
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Gozer car sale quote:My car was in the shop for days, and I was starting to feel a bit frazzled. I had a meeting with Gozer, the god of destruction, and I didn't want to be late. I needed to sell my car before the sale was cancelled. Yep, that's pretty much what I ordered. Good job, I guess 
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Feb 6, 2022 23:50
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Andrew, a high school student, was always interested in the occult and the dark side of life. He read about Satanism and the dark rituals that were performed in secret. One day, Andrew found a harmonicas online and decided to buy it. He was excited to learn how to play it and started practicing in his room. The more he played, the more he felt a connection to the instrument. He started to feel like he was part of a secret cult and the harmonicas were the tools that the cult used to summon the dark gods.
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Feb 6, 2022 23:59
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When I was a kid, my best friend and I would go to the local grocery store and buy ghost peppers. We would roast them over an open flame and eat them, burnt and spicy, as an appetizer. We would also sneak into the men's room and eat the peppers from the urinal. They were the best! --- The water was cold and rough against my skin, pulling me under and away from the light, from the air that I needed to breathe. I fought, gagging and kicking, but it was no use. I was drowning and I knew it. I could feel my lungs collapsing and the world going black. I could feel the water pulling me down and down, until I was nothing but a shadow in the depths. And then, suddenly, I was flying. I was flying through the air, free and alive, and I could see the light above me, could see the world beyond. It was beautiful and I wanted to stay there, flying forever, but then the water closed around me again and I was lost in the darkness.
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Feb 7, 2022 00:49
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Feb 7, 2022 01:02
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Lori's little feet were dwarfed by her mother's ginormous toes. It was easy to forget how small Lori's feet were in comparison when looking at her mother's feet. Lori loved her mother's feet and would often stare at them while her mother was doing dishes or sitting on the couch. She loved the way her mother's toes looked like giant sausages.
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Feb 7, 2022 02:08
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Kirk Vikernes fucked around with this message at 02:18 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 02:13
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holy poo poo lmao
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Feb 7, 2022 02:21
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Feb 7, 2022 02:25
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Story: Jordan Peterson is a controversial figure in the world of psychology. Some call him the Socrates of our time, while others say he's a dangerous extremist. But to many people, he's the man who saved their life. It was late at night and Jordan Peterson was feeling lost. He was sitting in his living room, staring off into space, when he heard a loud noise. He looked up to see a laser pointer coming towards him. Instinctively, he raised his hand to protect his eyes, and the laser hit him in the eye.
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Feb 7, 2022 03:09
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After a long day of work, Tom was looking forward to a nice, relaxing Prix fixe dinner with his wife. But when he arrived at the restaurant, he found that they had replaced the regular menu with a Jenkem menu. Tom was hesitant at first, but then he realized that huffing jenkem would be the perfect way to end his day.
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Feb 7, 2022 03:13
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Walnut trees are abundant in the wild, but they can also be found in many gardens. The nuts that these trees produce are a favorite food of squirrels and other animals. Nutting is a tradition that dates back centuries, and it is still practiced today.
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Feb 7, 2022 04:22
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As a young girl, I was taught that ethical consumption was important. I was taught to only buy things that were sustainable and ethical, and to never support capitalism. I thought it was important to do what I could to support the environment and help people in need. But as I got older, I realized that capitalism is inherently unethical. It is based on the exploitation of people and the destruction of the environment. It is time for me to change my ways and support ethical consumption, and to advocate for a socialist society that will ensure the wellbeing of all people.
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Feb 7, 2022 04:29
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In the year 2028, crime is rampant in the city of Mega-City One. The only way to stop the criminals is with the help of the cyborg law enforcement officer, Robocop. But when the weird dong guy starts terrorizing the city, Robocop must team up with the weird dong guy's creator, Dr. Jumbotron, to stop him.
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Feb 7, 2022 04:53
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Louis CK had always been good at making people laugh. But when he whipped it out at the Comedy Cellar one night, it was like he had discovered a new talent. The crowd went wild and soon he was headlining clubs all over the city.
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Feb 7, 2022 05:27
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"Mirror" and "question" Apparently, it's very "glaringly apparent", and that itself is getting reflected. 
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Feb 7, 2022 05:30
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Hungry Computer posted:As a young girl, I was taught that ethical consumption was important. I was taught to only buy things that were sustainable and ethical, and to never support capitalism. I thought it was important to do what I could to support the environment and help people in need. But as I got older, I realized that capitalism is inherently unethical. It is based on the exploitation of people and the destruction of the environment. It is time for me to change my ways and support ethical consumption, and to advocate for a socialist society that will ensure the wellbeing of all people. Proof that 99% of SA posts are made by the same AI.
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Feb 7, 2022 05:37
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There once was a diabetic Jesus who, despite his condition, was always kind and loving. One day, he was giving a sermon in a church when Suddenly, violent tremors ran through his body. He fell to the ground, shaking uncontrollably. The congregation was frightened, but Jesus just smiled and said, "It's just a little diabetes. I'll be back soon."
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Feb 7, 2022 06:09
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Feb 7, 2022 06:42
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Feb 7, 2022 06:46
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When Nancy Reagan was first lady, Americans loved her style, her smile, and her strong sense of patriotism. But few knew about her personal life. She was married to one of the most controversial U.S. presidents of all time, Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan was also known as the "Ed Gein of Hollywood" because of his crimes of kidnapping, killing, and mutilating women.
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Feb 7, 2022 06:58
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I was permabanned from the Something Awful forums for posting a thread that was critical of the moderators. I was really upset about it, because I loved the forums. But I learned a valuable lesson: always be critical of the moderators.
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Feb 7, 2022 07:28
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In high school, Brooke was always the outcast. She was overweight, and no one wanted to be her friend. So when Brooke found out she was going to be a senior, she was ecstatic. She was finally going to be able to fit in and be the popular girl. But when she got to school, she discovered that her new classmates had formed a "Something Awful" club. Brooke was appalled. She had always been a loyal friend, and she didn't want to be associated with something like that. But she was outnumbered, and the club was popular. Brooke decided to join, just to be friendly. But she quickly realized that the club was nothing but a circlejerk. The members were always gossiping and making fun of each other. Brooke quickly drifted away, and she never looked back.
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Feb 7, 2022 07:40
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In America, police brutality is very common. It's something that people have to deal with on a daily basis. Unfortunately, it's also something that's very fun to watch. e: Turquoise was a beautiful, healthy cat until she became addicted to heroin. Her owners were devastated when they found out, and tried every possible way to help their cat get clean. But nothing worked. Turquoise was hooked on heroin, and there was no way to stop her from using. GABA ghoul fucked around with this message at 07:52 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 07:49
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It's having an anxiety attack: In the olden days, when people went to the bathroom, they had to go outside. If they were lucky, they could find a bush or a tree to use as a toilet. And if they were really lucky, they might find a stream or a river to relieve themselves in. But mostly, people just went in their houses and used the toilet inside. Those days are gone now. We live in a world where people use toilets all the time. And, of course, there are toilets in public places, like restaurants and airports. But, even more importantly, there are toilets in homes. Some people like to use toilets that are outside. But, for the most part, people like to use toilets in their homes. And, of course, there are different types of toilets. There are toilets that are inside the house. And, there are toilets that are outside the house. But, there are also toilets that are in the bathroom. And, there are toilets that are in the kitchen. And, of course, there are toilets that are in the bathroom. But, there are also toilets that are in the bedroom. And, there are toilets that are in the living room. And,
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Feb 7, 2022 07:56
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murderous but funny ghost goat the grieving widow giggled When Harvey died, his family was in shock. But, as it turned out, Harvey had been a murderous but funny ghost goat for centuries. His family had been laughing at his jokes and playing pranks on him long before he died. In fact, his death was a hilarious accident.
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Feb 7, 2022 08:00
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Mr. Smile Face Hat posted:It's having an anxiety attack: There was an invasion of toilets. Everywhere you looked, there were toilets. They were in the trees, in the bushes, in the ground. It was as if the toilets had come to life and were, well, invading.
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Feb 7, 2022 08:06
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E/N Growing up, I was always an idiot. I was always doing things that were stupid and got me into trouble. My parents always had to bail me out of jail, and I was always getting in fights with my classmates. It wasn't until I was in college that I realized that I was actually insane. I would do things that made no sense, like going outside in the middle of the night and walking around campus. I would even start to hallucinate, and I would see things that weren't there. Eventually, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and my life changed forever. I now take medication and live in a halfway house, but I still think that I'm an idiot.
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Feb 7, 2022 08:50
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Story: The abattoir was a gruesome place. The smell of blood was overpowering, and the sounds of knives slicing meat were nearly unbearable. But Ted Cruz loved it. He loved the smell of blood, and the sound of knives slicing meat. It was all part of the job, and he was good at it. Another Ted Cruz Tale: It was a dark and stormy night, and the abattoir was operating at full capacity. The sounds of blood being cut and animals being killed filled the air, making it difficult to focus on anything else. Ted Cruz was in his office, trying to come up with a new strategy for the upcoming election. Suddenly, there was a loud noise outside. It sounded like someone was breaking into the abattoir. Cruz quickly got up and walked out of his office. He saw a figure in a dark cloak sprinting towards the meat locker. Cruz ran after the figure, but he was too late. The figure had already stolen a crate of meat and was running away. Cruz was angry. He knew that he could have won the election if he had been able to catch the thief. Dang It Bhabhi! fucked around with this message at 10:40 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 10:37
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Joe Rogan is one of the most popular comedians in the world. He's known for his stand-up routines and his appearances on different television shows. But what many people don't know is that Joe is a big horse fan, and he's been known to enjoy trying different horse flavors. There are many things that we take for granted as adults, like being able to think for ourselves and make our own choices. But for some infants, these things are still waiting to be explored. They have yet to learn the ropes of life, and their souls are still pure and untouched. Joe Rogan, a famous comedian and commentator, is one such person who was once an infant. Everyone knows that a cow made of butter is the perfect farm animal. They're docile, easy to care for, and provide plenty of milk. But what if there was a cow made of something even more delicious? That's the situation that Joe Rogan found himself in. staberind fucked around with this message at 11:48 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 11:33
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The zybourne clock sat in the corner of the room, ticking off the seconds, minutes, and hours like a metronome. It always seemed to slow down when the room was busy, and it always seemed to speed up when it was quiet. Time worked the same way, it seemed. There were four balls on the edge of a cliff. One ball was larger than the others, and it looked like it might fall off the cliff. The smaller balls wanted to get the larger ball, but they didn't know how. Four balls were sitting on the edge of a cliff, each with a different color. The balls were in the same spot for as long as anyone could remember, but no one knew how to get them to the bottom of the cliff. Mr. Smile Face Hat fucked around with this message at 12:06 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 12:01
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Three kids were walking home from school, when they came across a trenchcoat lying in the road. The kids were wondering what could have happened, so they decided to take the trenchcoat with them. As they were walking, they came across a man who had been hit by a car. The kids were so scared, but they knew they had to help the man. They took him to the hospital and donated his trenchcoat to the charity bin. Nicolas Cage was walking in the park, when he saw a bee. The bee was flying around, and Nicolas Cage wanted to know how it was flying. Nicolas Cage then tried to fly like the bee, and he was successful.
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Feb 7, 2022 12:06
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Feb 7, 2022 12:33
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quote:In the 1800s, people used ethernet cables to connect different parts of their homes. Abraham Lincoln was born in 1809, and used ethernet cables to connect his home to the post office. E: quote:Hyrule was a kingdom filled with magic and wonder. The people there lived in a utopia where they had everything they could ever want. The kingdom was ruled by a wise and powerful king named Link. Link used his magical powers to protect his people from danger. He also used his powerful sword, the Master Sword, to defeat evil monsters that threatened Hyrule. One day, Link discovered a weapon that could defeat even the most powerful monsters. It was a powerful HP Laser Printer. Link used the printer to print out maps of the kingdom so that he could find new adventures. quote:The United States Postal Service was in serious trouble. They were losing money hand over fist and their employees were all restless. One day, the head of the USPS, Mr. Jenkins, met with his top managers to discuss their predicament. "We need to find a way to make money," he said. "Something has to change." One of the managers, Mr. Harris, suggested that they start delivering parcels. "It's a new market that's growing every day," he said. "We could make a lot of money doing this." Mr. Jenkins was skeptical at first, but he decided to give it a try. The results were amazing. The USPS started making a profit and their employees were happy again. They even started hiring new employees, which was a sign that the USPS was finally on the right track.  The other prompt on the last one was "Zombies" which it seems to have ignored and still produced hilarious result. Michaeldim fucked around with this message at 13:35 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 13:21
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In the small town of Fairfield, everyone knew each other and there was always a friendly hello when passing each other on the street. That is, until one day when the nazi clowns showed up. They started making their way around town, putting on ridiculous costumes and making everyone laugh. It was all harmless fun at first, but as the clowns continued to show up, the town began to feel uneasy. No one knew what to do, as the clowns were just doing their thing, but everyone could sense that something was wrong. It wasn't long before the town was on edge and the tension was palpable. One day, the clowns showed up to the town square and started marching in a Nazi-like fashion. Everyone was terrified and some even started to cry, until suddenly, the clowns started firing guns into the air. It was all a joke, of course, but the town still felt shaken. It was clear that the clowns were trying to start some kind of war, and no one knew what to do. --- Rain pattered against the window as I peered out, watching the droplets slide down the glass and pool on the sill. I absentmindedly reached for the bong on the coffee table, my fingers grazing the cold, wet glass. I lit the pipe and took a deep hit, the smoke lifting my spirits as I thought about the day ahead. 
Blow fucked around with this message at 14:08 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 13:51
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McLaren Speedtail is one of the most popular supercars on the market. The sleek, low-slung design is a favorite of celebrities and wealthy individuals. The car is powered by a 6.1-liter V8 engine that produces 621 horsepower. The Yugo is a cheaper alternative to the Speedtail. It is powered by a 3.0-liter V6 engine that produces 260 horsepower.
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Feb 7, 2022 14:37
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I always worry about whether or not I have diabetes. I've been told by my doctor that I do, but I've never had any symptoms that would lead me to believe that. I do have to watch my diet and make sure that I don't eat too many processed foods, but I'm not sure if that's because I have diabetes or because I'm just a healthy person. I do have to watch my urine and taste it sometimes to make sure that it's not too sweet or too salty, but other than that I don't have to do anything else to monitor my condition.
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Feb 7, 2022 15:12
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