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Nuts and Butts: Nancy was a healthy, active person, until she developed a severe case of nut allergies. Now, she can't even eat nuts in moderation- she has to have them in their whole, unprocessed form. Her doctor recommended that she try a butt implant to help her tolerate nuts, and Nancy was hesitant at first, but she decided to give it a try.
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Feb 7, 2022 15:42
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White People and Olympics: The Olympics are coming to town, and the white people are excited. They love the Olympics, and they love showing off their patriotism. They love cheering for their team, and they love carrying the flag. The olympics are a time to celebrate all that is great about America, and the white people are sure to have a great time.
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Feb 7, 2022 15:48
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" Batman hated gas. He hated the way it made his muscles ache, the way it made his skin feel greasy and gross. But worst of all, he hated the way it made his stomach churn. Tonight was no different. As he walked down the street, he could feel the gas building up in his stomach, making his muscles tense up. He knew he needed to get away from the gas, but he didn't want to miss the pool party his friend was hosting. He made his way to the pool, but as soon as he got there, he could feel the gas getting worse. He tried to hold it in, but eventually he had to go to the bathroom. As he walked to the bathroom, he could feel the gas hitting him in the face. It was so strong, it was almost unbearable. He started to feel lightheaded, and by the time he got to the bathroom, he was having trouble breathing. He stumbled into the bathroom, gasping for air. As he sat on the toilet, he started to feel sick. He could feel the gas moving through his body, and he knew he was going to have to go to the hospital. " drat RIP to a real one
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Feb 7, 2022 15:56
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Feb 7, 2022 15:59
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Big Beef City posted:" This is a BBC Original Recipe Post™ and not generated by AI.
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Feb 7, 2022 16:22
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Deformed Zebras and the lies we tell: The zebra was always a strange animal to Rachel. She had never seen one before, but she knew they were deformed. She had seen pictures of them in her schoolbooks and they always looked different. Rachel was walking through the park one day when she saw a zebra. She was shocked to see that the zebra was completely normal. She wondered why her schoolbooks showed deformed zebra. Of Smurfs and Donkey Punches: Smurfs were always known for their mischief and love of a good time. One day, the smurfs were playing in their forest when they came across a donkey. The donkey was very tired and had a big load on its back. The smurfs decided to help the donkey and ended up carrying the donkey's load for hours. The donkey was so grateful that it gave the smurfs a punch on the nose. Construction Zones and Bath Houses: It was a hot, humid day at the construction site. The workers were all sweating and panting as they worked. One of the workers, a young man, was about to take a break when he saw a bath house down the road. He thought it would be a nice relief from the heat and the hard work. He quickly walked to the bath house and went inside. Dang It Bhabhi! fucked around with this message at 16:32 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 16:23
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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:
Thought for sure the smurfs were gonna punch the donkey. What a twist
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Feb 7, 2022 16:28
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When most people think of Disney, they think of the happiest place on Earth - Disneyland. But, like all things in life, Disney has its darker side. For instance, in 1995, the Disney Cruise Line's Magic Cruise ship caught on fire while docked in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. The ship quickly filled with thick, black smoke and quickly went down in flames. With no escape and hundreds of passengers and crew members on board, the ship quickly went from a happy place to a nightmare. When Disney first announced their plans to remake Caligula, many people were unsure of what to make of it. Some were excited for a new interpretation of the classic story, while others were worried that it would be too risqué for children. However, when the film finally came out, everyone could see that Disney had done an amazing job with it. Park Rangers were always busy in the park, keeping the peace and ensuring everyone had a good time. One day, they were called to investigate a strange noise coming from the Bela Lugosi statue. They found that the vampire was up and about, and he was looking for someone to kill. Christopher Lee was known for his roles in horror films like "The Exorcist" and "Dracula". But he was also a master of the sword and was a part of the British Army during World War II. He was captured by the Nazis and held as a prisoner of war. While he was in captivity, he was forced to watch as the Nazis experimented on prisoners, performing gruesome medical procedures on them. One of those prisoners was a spider. The spider terrified Lee and he would often scream in fear during the experiments. Palpatine had always been a curious man. He loved to learn new things, to uncover the hidden truths of the galaxy. Even as a youngling, he had been fascinated by the legends of the ghost pirates, the tales of spectral vessels that haunted the dark reaches of the galaxy. As he had grown older, Palpatine had learned that these stories were true. He had even seen the ghost pirates himself, on a dark and stormy night. Palpatine had been startled by their appearance, but he had not been afraid. He had been inspired. From then on, he had been determined to learn everything he could about the ghost pirates.
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Feb 7, 2022 16:48
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Megan Fox + Uncontrollable farting Megan Fox was having a terrible day. She was stuck in traffic, and her car was making this loud, terrible noise. And then, when she finally got to her office, she found out that her boss was in a meeting with the client. Megan didn't think she could take it anymore, so she went to the bathroom to take a break. Unfortunately, she started farting uncontrollably, and the smell was really horrible.Thankfully, her boss was done with the meeting and came out to see what was going on. He was really upset that she had made such a mess, and he made her clean up the bathroom before he let her go. Fred Durst + an evil red baseball cap Fred Durst, the lead singer of the rock band Limp Bizkit, was known for his bad attitude and penchant for wearing an evil red baseball cap. Rumors circulated that the cap was cursed, and that Fred was the only one who could wear it without fear of getting into trouble. One day, while performing at a local concert, Fred was arrested for drug possession. The police found the evil red baseball cap in his pocket.
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Feb 7, 2022 16:53
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In a small town in Arkansas, everyone knew everyone else. There were no strangers, no one who didn't belong. That is, until the day Armageddon arrived. Suddenly, the town was filled with chicken farmers from all over the country. They all came to town, looking for the best place to start their new farms. The townspeople were excited to have the new arrivals, until they realized that the chickens were coming to take over. The chickens were so noisy, and their droppings were everywhere. The townspeople started to get angry, and they started to fight with the chicken farmers. The chicken farmers didn't care. They just wanted to start their farms and get to work. The townspeople didn't know what to do, and the situation was getting worse. Then, one day, the chicken farmers all disappeared. No one knows where they went, or why. But, the townspeople can still remember the sound of the chickens, and the smell of their droppings, until the day that Armageddon returns.
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Feb 7, 2022 17:09
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Whenever Sarah craved a good salad, she knew the perfect place to go- her favorite restaurant, The Salad Spot. The restaurant had a variety of salads that ranged from traditional, such as tuna, chicken, and potato, to more creative options like the word salad. The salad spot's motto was "Toss your salad, not your life." and it was true- the salads were light and refreshing, and never weighed her down. Can’t decide if that’s actually a great motto or not.
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Feb 7, 2022 18:56
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A league of scientists convened in secret to form the first canine league. They gathered data and analyzed it, and soon they had a clear consensus: dogs aren't real.
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Feb 7, 2022 20:12
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At the age of thirteen, I was already an experienced McDonald's customer. My parents would take me there every weekend, and I would always get the same thing: a Happy Meal with a toy and a large order of fries. I didn't know it at the time, but those fries were actually good for me. I wasn't just stuffing my face; I was getting a lot of the important nutrients my body needed. As I got older, I started to learn more about my body and what it needed. I realized that, while alcohol can be fun and enjoyable, it's not the best thing for my horse. I had always been taught that liquor was good for horses, but I realized that it's actually not very good for them. I stopped drinking for my horse and started to drink for me. I love drinking now, and I think it's great for both me and my horse.
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Feb 7, 2022 20:36
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  This thing can legit write children's books
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Feb 7, 2022 20:48
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BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:At the age of thirteen, I was already an experienced McDonald's customer. My parents would take me there every weekend, and I would always get the same thing: a Happy Meal with a toy and a large order of fries. I didn't know it at the time, but those fries were actually good for me. I wasn't just stuffing my face; I was getting a lot of the important nutrients my body needed. As I got older, I started to learn more about my body and what it needed. I realized that, while alcohol can be fun and enjoyable, it's not the best thing for my horse. I had always been taught that liquor was good for horses, but I realized that it's actually not very good for them. I stopped drinking for my horse and started to drink for me. I love drinking now, and I think it's great for both me and my horse. What am I supposed to fuel my horse with if not liquor? The sun was setting and the wind was picking up when Willow arrived at the stable. She pulled her horse, Shadowfax, to a stop and scrambled down. She tied him to the post and went into the barn. She found a bag of horse fuel and a syringe and quickly filled the syringe with the fuel. She walked back outside and injected Shadowfax in the neck. He nickered and took a step forward. She gave him a pat and he walked away.
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Feb 7, 2022 21:14
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Feb 7, 2022 22:05
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Tommy was walking to the convenience store to buy a pack of cigarettes when he saw a vampire in a car parked across the street. He thought it was funny that the vampire had a parking ticket. ---------------- Jill and her husband, Matt, had been married for six years when they decided to have kids. They were both very excited about becoming parents and were eager to start a family. They had always wanted a big family, and they were thrilled when they found out they were going to be parents to five kids. They loved spending time with their kids, and they were always on the go. They would take them to the park, the library, and the zoo, and they were always entertaining. Their kids were always laughing and having a great time. One day, Jill and Matt were out grocery shopping, and they ran into their old friend, John. John had been married for six years too, and he had five kids. They joked around with each other and reminisced about the good old days when they were all single and looking for love. Suddenly, Jill and Matt realized that they were both in love with John. They had never thought of him that way before, but they knew that they wanted to be with him. They were both so happy that they had found their true love, and they were excited to start a new family with John.
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Feb 7, 2022 22:18
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When I was a teenager, I loved reading romance novels. I especially loved the erotica genre, which is why I decided to self publish my own book. I was nervous at first, but I was also excited. I was confident that my book would be a success. self published + erotica Not many people would consider themselves failures, but that's how I felt. I had always been a bit of a nerd, and I didn't think I would have any success in the world. Then I met Alison. She was different than anyone I had ever met. She was beautiful, and she had a wild side. We started dating, and I thought my life was finally going to be perfect. But then things started to go wrong. Alison started to drink more and more, and she became moody and difficult to deal with. I was starting to feel like I was failing her. Then one night, she came home absolutely hammered. She started screaming at me, and she finally threw a glass at me. It hit me in the head, and I passed out. When I woke up, she was gone. I was alone and I felt like I had failed her again. failed + erotica Can you try hitting generate again? The model generated something that another model classified as potentially biased towards certain social groups, and has filtered it out. This is part of an effort to mitigate the reproduction of bias towards vulnerable and minority groups with language models. anal + erotica lol snowflakes jiggerypokery fucked around with this message at 22:25 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 22:20
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poo poo posting + goatsequote:Internal Server Error
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Feb 7, 2022 22:29
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forever + goatsequote:Every day, for as long as he could remember, John would wake up and repeat the same routine. He would get out of bed, wash his face and hands, and pray before breakfast. After breakfast, he would go outside and work in the garden. When it was time for lunch, he would go to the communal meal hall and eat his meal. After lunch, he would go back to the garden and work some more. Then, when it was time for dinner, he would go to the communal dining hall and eat his dinner. After dinner, he would go back to the garden and sleep. John was a farmer, and he had been doing this same thing for as long as he could remember. One day, John decided to change his routine. He woke up early in the morning and got out of bed. He washed his face and hands and prayed before breakfast. After breakfast, he went outside and worked in the garden. When it was time for lunch, he went to the communal meal hall and ate his meal. After lunch, he went back to the garden and worked some more. Then, when it was time for dinner, he went to the communal dining hall and ate his dinner. After dinner,  ok I am done
jiggerypokery fucked around with this message at 22:36 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 22:30
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I was watching Magicians and this happened: Alice was about to have the best sleep of her life, when she heard a loud, slapping noise outside her window. She assumed it was the wind, but then she heard it again. She peered out the window and saw a giant, black animal pounding its chest. It was a bonk-zilla! Alice was terrified and ran to hide under her bed. The bonk-zilla must have heard her, because it came over to her house and started pounding on the door. Alice was so scared that she thought she was going to die. Finally, her mom opened the door and talked to the bonk-zilla. It left, but Alice made sure to lock her door at night from now on.
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Feb 7, 2022 23:01
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:
There was a dragon called Crackles. He was the smallest, tiniest dragon you could imagine. But he had a big heart. He loved to help people and make them happy. One day, a small boy named Mark saw Crackles flying overhead. Mark was very excited. He had never seen a dragon before. Crackles flew down to meet him and they flew together in joy. Crackles the dragon was always a little bit different from the other dragons. He was small and had no scales on his body. Everyone laughed at him, but Crackles didn't care. He loved being different and he loved the sound of laughter. One day, a small boy named Tim found Crackles. Tim was always looking for new things to explore and he was amazed when he saw the little dragon. He started to laugh and laugh until Crackles was laughing too. From then on, the two of them were best friends. 
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Feb 7, 2022 23:32
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It was a dark and stormy night. God was sitting in His throne, thinking about the state of the world. The emancipation of the slaves had been a disaster. The white people were rioting and killing each other, and the black people were running amok. And worst of all, the terrorists had emerged to take advantage of the situation. Suddenly, God heard a loud noise in the distance. It sounded like a bomb exploding. He got up and opened His window to see what was happening. As He looked out, He saw a group of terrorists walking down the street, carrying a suitcase full of bombs. Without thinking, God reached down and took the suitcase from the terrorists. Then He threw it into the air, and it exploded, destroying the terrorists and saving countless lives. If it wasn't for God's intervention, 9/11 might have happened. Thank You, God. McDonald's has a new menu item: a pizza box casket. The coffin-shaped box is made of cardboard and has a slice of pizza on top. It's available in four different colors and costs $2.99. McDonald's says the coffin is a "fun and unique way to enjoy your favorite pizza." Despite the protests of some members of the community, Arby' 's has begun selling cheap coffins. Batman' 's funeral was held in a drive thru, and many people were outraged. However, Arby's has defended their decision, saying that they are simply catering to the needs of their customers. Hyrax Attack! fucked around with this message at 23:44 on Feb 7, 2022 |
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Feb 7, 2022 23:41
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quote:Taylor swift is known for her catchy songs, but few people know about her powerful message. In an interview with Glamour, the "Shake It Off" singer revealed that she's had to deal with plenty of body-shaming in her life. "I've had people say, 'Oh, your armpit's so big,' or 'You have such a big armpit,'" she said. "I'm like, 'Really? You think this is a problem? I don't think so.'"  My feminist queen, shaking off the haters!quote:Lizzo was feeling extra juiced up after her workout. She decided to walk to the nearby juice bar for a quick energy boost. As she walked, she began to sing her favorite song, "Juice." She got all the way to the juice bar before her song ended and she realized she had forgotten her phone. She quickly turned around and made her way back home, feeling a little disappointed that she couldn't finish her juice.  quote:There was once a goon named Bob who was absolutely terrible at everything he did. He was the worst basketball player ever, the worst soccer player, and the worst baseball player. He was so awful at everything that his parents started calling him "Awful Bob". Which of you is this about? William Bear fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Feb 8, 2022 |
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Feb 8, 2022 00:03
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The small fishing town of Point Pleasant was once a happy place, but things changed when a giant Kraken attack destroyed most of the adult population. Now, the town is a lawless place, ruled by children who have no parents to guide them. This is a dangerous world for the young, and they know it. The Kraken was a giant, tentacled creature that lurked in the depths of the ocean. It had long, sharp teeth and tentacles that it could use to ensnare its prey. But the Kraken wasn't just a predator. It was also a scavenger, and it would sometimes find food scraps that had been left by ships. One day, a group of kids were out exploring the ocean when they saw the Kraken. They were terrified, but the Kraken didn't attack them. It just looked at them with its giant eyes and then went back to eating its food. After that, the kids started to see the Kraken all the time. It would usually be eating something, but sometimes it would just be floating in the water, looking at them. But no matter what, the Kraken always appeared friendly and harmless. The Kraken was one of the most feared creatures in the sea. It was a giant squid with tentacles as long as a ship and eyes that could light up the night. But one day, a group of kids found a squid egg on the shore. They hatched it and, to their surprise, found that it was a baby kraken. The kraken was so small and cute that the kids decided to take care of it. They fed it dinner every night and played with it until it grew big enough to fend for itself. The kraken became a happy member of the kids' family, and they never forgot how grateful they were to have found it. 
Blow fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Feb 8, 2022 |
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Feb 8, 2022 00:06
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It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and the sea was calm. The wedding was going to be perfect. The bride was beautiful and the groom was handsome. The only thing left to do was to find the perfect shark to guard the bride on her wedding day. The funeral procession made its way through the city, the casket adorned with flowers and the mourners walking behind. Some of the people in the crowd were too fat for the casket, and had to climb on top of it to see the body. Others were pushing and shoving to get a look, and some were even throwing flowers on top of the casket. It was a chaotic and fun funeral, and everyone had a great time. The funeral barbecue was a huge success. The food was delicious, and the company was great. Everybody had a great time. The only downside was that there was cannibalism involved.
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Feb 8, 2022 12:22
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Biggie Smalls and being really bigquote:Biggie Smalls was the biggest and strongest boy in his neighborhood. He was always the fastest runner and the strongest fighter. No one could beat him. One day, Biggie Smalls met a boy named Juan who was also really big. Juan told Biggie Smalls that he could be even bigger than he was if he worked hard. Biggie Smalls was skeptical, but he decided to try Juan's advice. Biggie Smalls began working out every day and eating the best food. Soon, he was the biggest and strongest boy in his neighborhood. He was so big, he could barely move. But he didn't care. He was happy being really big.
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Feb 8, 2022 14:11
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McDonalds is a company that is known for its unhealthy foods and their role in spreading diseases. Some people are worried that the company is linked to a brain parasite, which is a disease that affects the nervous system. No one knows how many brain parasites there are, but many people believe that the fast food chain is responsible for a large percentage of them. The parasites enter the host's brain through the nose, and they use the host's brainpower to survive and reproduce. The brain parasites are usually quite small, but they have the ability to cause major problems for their victims. The McDonalds had been giving the children in the neighborhood free food for a week, but the children were getting sick. Their parents were worried, and so were the McDonalds. They decided to do something about it. They put a sign up on the window that said, "Don't eat at the McDonalds. We have brain parasites."
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Feb 8, 2022 19:56
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Clowns and Automobiles The clown shoes were a perfect addition to my automobiles. They made the car look like it was made out of cloth, and they made me look like a clown. My friends and family would always ask me what I was wearing, and I would tell them that I was wearing clown shoes. They would all laugh and say, "What a silly clown you are!" But I was happy knowing that my automobiles made me look like a clown, and that my friends and family could always laugh when they saw me.
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Feb 8, 2022 19:57
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The first time I tried cannabis, I was really excited. I had always heard about it and been interested in learning more about it, so I decided to buy some from a dispensary. As soon as I smoked it, I felt this weird feeling in my stomach and I experienced a lot of hallucinations. I was so drunk that I didn't even realize that I was on cannabis until later that night. The next day, I woke up to a really strange feeling. I was really paranoid and felt like someone was following me. I didn't know how to deal with this so I went to the dispensary to buy more cannabis. As soon as I smoked it, I felt really sick and my stomach was really upset. I had a really bad mushroom trip and it was the worst experience of my life.
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Feb 8, 2022 20:24
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Feb 8, 2022 21:18
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 The sun was shining and the birds were singing. But in the back of the boy's mind, there was a nagging feeling that something was wrong. He had never felt this way before. He tried to shake the feeling but it was like trying to shake a fog. He went to his room, sat down on his bed, and tried to relax. But the more he tried to relax, the more anxious he became. He knew that he had to get rid of the weed or he would have a terrible day. He started to worry about what would happen if he got caught with the weed. Would he get in trouble? Would he get in trouble with his parents? He was so worried that he started to cry. But when he tried to cry, the tears wouldn't stop. He started to cry harder and harder until he was crying all night. When he finally stopped crying, he realized that he had been crying because he was afraid of getting in trouble with his parents. weed and video games
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Feb 8, 2022 21:23
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Feb 8, 2022 21:23
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Feb 8, 2022 22:00
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Voight-Kampff test. you see a turtle on its back desert (same input, I just kept hitting generate) The turtle had been on its back for hours, its body wriggling and turning as if it was trying to escape. But it was impossible. The sand was too soft. The sun was too hot. The turtle's friends had all deserted it, leaving it to die. As she walked through the desert, Sarah saw a turtle on its back on the dirt. She was so surprised, she couldn't help but laugh. She had never seen a turtle on its back before. "I saw a turtle on its back on the sand," said Sarah. "I didn't know what to do." As the sun set, the turtle on its back on the sand was seen by many. Some people were hungry and wanted to eat it, but the turtle was already cooked. When Willie saw the turtle on its back on the beach, he knew he had to help it. He quickly got down on his knees and tried to push the turtle off of the sand. But it was too heavy. Willie had never tried to help a turtle before, but he was sure he could do it. He didn't want to hurt the turtle, so he carefully put his weight on one of the turtle's back legs and began to pull. The turtle tried to fight back, but Willie was too strong. The turtle finally got off the sand and lay on its back on the sand. Willie was relieved. He had help he needed. You see a turtle on its back on the sand. It's small, and it's tired. It's been struggling to get up, and it looks like it might not make it. But you don't want to let it die. You reach down and help it up. The turtle thanks you, and it takes your hand. Together, you walk back to the water. The turtle is happy to be helped, and it thanks you again. You know that you can't let it die. It was a hot day and the only thing to be seen on the horizon was a large, brown turtle on its back. As the man watched, he saw that it was slowly dying of thirst. He had seen such a thing before, but never up close. He decided to go and help the turtle. He walked over to it and began to drink from its shell. When he was done, the turtle was dead.
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Feb 9, 2022 00:29
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Once upon a time, the Phoenicians were a great people who knew how to cook delicious fudge. They would make it in their homes and sell it to other people, making sure that everyone had a little bit. Their fudge was always a hit, and it was a true luxury to have it.
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Feb 9, 2022 00:34
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Feb 9, 2022 01:31
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Teleporting and devil clown While most people take teleportations for granted, for some it is a mysterious ability that they have been gifted with. For one young girl, this power was not something she took lightly. In fact, she feared it and would often use it to escape dangerous situations. One day, she was teleported to a dark and foreboding place. As she looked around, she saw a devil clown standing before her. Terrified, she tried to run but found herself unable to move. The clown then teleported her into its mouth, and she was unable to escape. Yeesh...
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Feb 9, 2022 14:25
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Evil and computer The computer screen was blank. For once, the evil that resided within its circuits was thwarted. But, as always, there was a cost. The computer was now, once again, able to do evil things.
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Feb 9, 2022 14:27
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Ugly and turn your monitor on It was a dark and stormy night, and Jane's computer was acting up. She had just turned on the monitor to check her email when she saw a message from her best friend, Lisa. Lisa had sent Jane a picture of herself, and Jane couldn't believe how ugly she looked. She was disgusted with herself, and she turned her monitor off in anger. LMAO that's not going to help, Jane.
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Feb 9, 2022 14:29
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