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Lesse here…who could the bat be? Obviously he’s gotta be rich, to afford that suit, that car, and all dem gadgets. And plenty of time to just practice all those skills. Of course the guy’s in great shape, too, and lives in Gotham to alway be around. TV news: Tonight, we’re interviewing billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, Gotham’s golden child, who will show us his functional MMA workout routine! Ayyy, can youse turn dat off? I can’t concentrate here!
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Feb 8, 2022 01:53
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Splicer posted:Nah it's just a steel alloy, pricey but useless for recasting. I got a nice side gig selling bat stuff to collectors though. Batarangs, them little darts, grappling hooks, you name it. This one here, goid condition, that ding from your skull actually adds value believe it or not, yeah I'll give you 200 for it. No offense to your professionalism Splicey the Scammer, but I'm gonna go get a second opinion.
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Feb 8, 2022 01:57
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Dat rich schmuck wayne! Gawd i wanna take him down a dark alley and pound his rear end till he screams! Yeaah really bust his nuts,get all in his face an- What are you guys laughing at?
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Feb 8, 2022 02:10
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The Voice of Labor posted:you know this is offensive to frankenstein and that arcane fellow who is also a frankenstein Oh don't get me started on Frankensteins. You know one time the Punisher was a Frankenstein?
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Feb 8, 2022 03:13
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Youse dolts, Frankenstein was the docto... hey, what was that?
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Feb 8, 2022 05:13
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Splicer posted:Hang around S.T.A.R. labs for a bit until you see someone leaving with all their poo poo in a box, they'll hook you up with new hands in a jiffy. Ain't dis da guy what runs S.T.A.R. labs? quote:Swearing revenge, the evil genius donned his distinctive yellow and green costume with its visored, cowl-topped skull mask, called himself the Atomic Skull, and eventually became the organization's leader, flying around in a sleek skull-shaped hovercraft of his own design and assisted by his similarly costumed lover Felicia, who was a panther that he had artificially evolved into human form guessin' his civvy name is pre-lon musk?
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Feb 8, 2022 05:31
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Whoa hey I don't want to get all judgemental ovah heah but does that say that guy was loving a panther?
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Feb 8, 2022 06:04
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You don't want to work for tweedle dee. Guy'll stiff you every loving time, tweedle dum might be a dumb fat baby, but he signs his checks.
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Feb 8, 2022 06:59
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Relevant Tangent posted:Whoa hey I don't want to get all judgemental ovah heah but does that say that guy was loving a panther? Do NOT get me started, man. What Aquaman gets up to is one ting, but one time, the Riddler was talking about Grodd... you know where Giganta came from? And she didn't used to be a human. I don't even wanna know what's goin' on there but he's gotta be into some weird poo poo.
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Feb 8, 2022 08:22
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Funky See Funky Do posted:No offense to your professionalism Splicey the Scammer, but I'm gonna go get a second opinion. Anyways I gotta dash, Joker just clown gassed the meat packing district and you would not believe what a used bat gas mask goes for in the technogoth scene.
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Feb 8, 2022 12:23
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Guys I was digging through Bruce Wayne's trash and I gots questions https://twitter.com/amymiller/status/1490827083357966341
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Feb 8, 2022 14:37
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Yeah I did some henchin' ovah ins Central City wit' Cap'n Boomerangs. He kicked me out on account dey don't talks like dis ovah dere and he gots sick'a me but I gots some real good practice wit boomerangs which I figure gonna give me an edge ovah da Bat
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Feb 8, 2022 16:41
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Who What Now posted:Yeah I did some henchin' ovah ins Central City wit' Cap'n Boomerangs. He kicked me out on account dey don't talks like dis ovah dere and he gots sick'a me but I gots some real good practice wit boomerangs which I figure gonna give me an edge ovah da Bat Wait wait wait, CAPTAIN BOOMERANG givin' someone lip about their accent?
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Feb 8, 2022 16:52
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Yeah he says ta me dat da ways I talked wasn't good fer his "brand" or sumtin
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Feb 8, 2022 19:36
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My kid fuckin' hates Captain Boomerang, she says he's "guilty of cultural appropriation", whateva da gently caress dat means.
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Feb 8, 2022 20:19
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Who What Now posted:Yeah he says ta me dat da ways I talked wasn't good fer his "brand" or sumtin Being reasonably good at yer job would be bad fer Boomerang's "brand" Polka-Dot Man's got a better track record on jobs than Boomer.
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Feb 8, 2022 22:49
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Do NOT get me started, man. What Aquaman gets up to is one ting, but one time, the Riddler was talking about Grodd... you know where Giganta came from? And she didn't used to be a human. I don't even wanna know what's goin' on there but he's gotta be into some weird poo poo. hey uhhh.. me and rita farr used to have a thing going. she didn't used to be a gorilla too did she?
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Feb 9, 2022 00:39
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Deki posted:Being reasonably good at yer job would be bad fer Boomerang's "brand" Center City's villains are all sorta chill compared to Gotham's, no random executions or Smile-x gassings or stuff like that, ya know? Not to mention the worst Flash'll do is pants you, not break your arm in three places. Why are we working on crews in this town again?
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Feb 9, 2022 01:01
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Admiralty Flag posted:Center City's villains are all sorta chill compared to Gotham's, no random executions or Smile-x gassings or stuff like that, ya know? Not to mention the worst Flash'll do is pants you, not break your arm in three places. Why are we working on crews in this town again? I don't know about that, I know a guy who worked in Central City back when Flash was wearin the yellow costume, he phased the poor SOB into solid concrete then left him to suffocate. What do you mean, "Reverse" Flash? That's the dumbest fuckin thing I've ever heard, get outta here.
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Feb 9, 2022 01:41
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I heards he calls himself Professa Zooms now
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Feb 9, 2022 01:42
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last time I got in a scrap with the bat, the boy wonder hit me with a blow dart and now I get an erection every time I see a cop
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Feb 9, 2022 05:37
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The Voice of Labor posted:last time I got in a scrap with the bat, the boy wonder hit me with a blow dart and now I get an erection every time I see a cop welcome to the republican party
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Feb 9, 2022 06:19
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The Voice of Labor posted:hey uhhh.. me and rita farr used to have a thing going. she didn't used to be a gorilla too did she? Ehh... I mean, if you were born a gorilla but prefer bein' a human, I say live your best life. Guess one's at least not an endangered species. Pretty sure Grodd's weird even for gorillas though. I mean, normal people don't join the Legion of Doom, pretty sure the same goes for gorillas. And aliens. And zombies.
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Feb 9, 2022 07:13
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Attention: If you or a loved one has been exposed to clown gas you may to be entitled to financial compensation. Clown gas is a potent toxin linked to lethal rictus. Exposure to clown gas in docks, shipyards, banks, asylums, late night talk shows or in giant caves under mansions may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 DENT LEGAL today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Clown gas victims call now! 1-800-99 DENT LEGAL.
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Feb 10, 2022 23:46
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Zazi posted:Attention: If you or a loved one has been exposed to clown gas you may to be entitled to financial compensation. Clown gas is a potent toxin linked to lethal rictus. Exposure to clown gas in docks, shipyards, banks, asylums, late night talk shows or in giant caves under mansions may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 DENT LEGAL today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Clown gas victims call now! 1-800-99 DENT LEGAL. Yeah I'm not falling for that again.
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Feb 10, 2022 23:53
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Outrail posted:Yeah I'm not falling for that again. Nah, here's an easy trick for getting him to win your case: get a couple friends to review bomb him before you call. If his Yelp score is 49%, he'll do everything he can to bring it back up to 50%. Gotta be careful tho, if you call when his score is 51% he'll probably send me out to break your legs.
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Feb 10, 2022 23:56
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He used to have 1-800-ACCI-DENT but people kept not dialing the T and it really pissed him off.
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Feb 11, 2022 00:11
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Years ago it was 1800 INCI DENT, I remember crank calling it on a dare from Calendar Man on April's Fools day.
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Feb 11, 2022 01:09
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Pretty crazy that he still represents people. Or is it just name recognition these days? I figure he's in and out of Arkham so often that he can't really manage the practice himself. Nuts how far the Dent firm can get on name recognition.
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Feb 11, 2022 13:16
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Oh yeah Dent Legal's just the practice name. When he was appointed DA Mr Dent divested himself of his equity share in the firm and sold off to Adrian Chase out of New York. We're really just a satellite office for Chase & Co these days, but Gotham has a rich vein of clown gas compensation claims that are still largely going unaddressed.
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Feb 11, 2022 23:08
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So I'm carrying this box of bat stuff to a client and the bat drops down outta nowhere and does the smug fake chummy thing he does when he's about to shake you down for info on clown gas shipments and the like. He's smugging it up with "Hey Splicer, what you got there?" and I tell him I'm on my way to visit my sick mum in the hospital you know the drill. So he side eyes the box and is all "Your mother's name is Saucy Sally?" and I don't know what comes over me but I'm just sick of his poo poo so I say "It's Martha and she thinks your a prick too" and Like 5 minutes later I'm drinking some kind of bat beer out of these weird bottles with bats on them and he's asking me about my mom and my childhood and poo poo and after a half hour of this he goes "duty calls" and flies off. I'm thinking of skipping town.
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Feb 15, 2022 00:55
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nah, sometimes Bats has a moment of lucidity and instead of putting you in traction says something like "Is this really how you want to be spending your kid's birthday?" and then instead of beating the absolute poo poo out of you takes you to your exes so you can have a moment then every single year without fail you wake up to a batarang with $100 in your bedroom christ help you if you try to go back to the life after that though, Bats whole non-killing thing just means he cripples you
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Feb 15, 2022 01:19
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i tells ya they got a bunch of them batmen running around. one time i was messing with an atm and this english guy wearing a regular suit and a bat mask kept hitting me with his cane. i asked him what he was doing and he kept hitting me and calling me a "vile villain". maybe it was batman's dad filling in? i left because who needs that poo poo?
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Feb 15, 2022 01:39
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BigBadSteve posted:My kid fuckin' hates Captain Boomerang, she says he's "guilty of cultural appropriation", whateva da gently caress dat means. It always comes back to this
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Feb 15, 2022 01:53
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So ya knows how Wayne Industries has been openin up lotsa martial artses dojos arounds the city? Yeah, Tony, you knows what's I'm talkin abouts, ya gots ya little boy Richie in thems learnin what to stands up fer himselfs. Yeah self-disciplines and all's that, all fer frees. "Community wellness programs" is what da suits calls it. But dey also gives free adult classes after dark. I've been goin to's 'em, learning a whole lots. Like insteada tryin to surprise da Bats what by hittin hims wit' a bricks all quiet likes I should be plantin my feets real wide and havin my arms real open an' yellings "AAARGG" before I attacks. They said the best ting a thug can does is present so many openings fer counter attacks dat da Bats won't know which ones ta take! So I heard next week they're gonna make the whole city a prison and whatnots so let's all take dese classes so we can beat up da Bats good and proper like.
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Feb 15, 2022 02:02
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Bats? Bats just don’t scares me. Building I grew up in was filled wit’ ‘em, and dey ain’t never hurted me or nothing. Now, you wanna know what’s scary? Spiders. Dose t’ings scare the bejebuss outta me. You ever imagined how scary it would be if there was some kind of… Spider… Man?!
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Feb 15, 2022 02:05
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man I thought hooking up with firefly's crew would be an arsonist's dream come true but we mostly start fires to keep warm
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Feb 15, 2022 03:51
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InsertPotPun posted:i tells ya they got a bunch of them batmen running around. one time i was messing with an atm and this english guy wearing a regular suit and a bat mask kept hitting me with his cane. i asked him what he was doing and he kept hitting me and calling me a "vile villain". maybe it was batman's dad filling in? I goddamn swear, years back the Bat disappeared for a bit and then he came back all... different. Like, same costume and gear but he acted different, talked different, coulda sworn he was saying a bunch of God stuff all quiet like... and then a while later he's back to normal like nothing happened! Though maybe he just got caught up in a cult for a while, it happens.
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Feb 15, 2022 09:48
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My nephew just transferred from Wayne Corp over to Lex Corp, says he now has to sit through all hands meetings about killing the Superman almost daily. Pays better and the 1940s themed city is a lot cleaner than ol' Gotham apparently. Me? I'm a Gothamite, nothing is gonna make me leave this dank clown-gassed city, it's home ya knows? When I found out there's some magic Greek cosplay island full of dames, the thought did cross my mind. But with the economy the way it is, I gotta keep hauling the clown gas for retirement.
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Feb 15, 2022 10:05
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The Voice of Labor posted:man I thought hooking up with firefly's crew would be an arsonist's dream come true but we mostly start fires to keep warm Yeah he can't get the big jobs anynore after it came out that he was a sex pest. Firefly was cancelled.
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Feb 15, 2022 15:53
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