r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Rescue Toaster posted:

My town has a bunch of neighborhoods with those loving awful narrow streets 'Oh so cars slow down'. Instead it makes a loving obstacle course where you're nearly knocking mirrors off constantly with a regular-width vehicle let alone a truck, or little kids jumping out of nowhere with no gap between you and the parked cars. And you have to wait turns for opposing traffic like a loving vaudeville act.

gently caress them. I hope the UPS guy parks blocking an intersection and walks every package to each house on the four intersecting blocks for five minutes.

The street I'm on is actually wider at one end of the block compared to the other, so it gets weird. You lose a car-width as you go along. There's also a steep dip that college kids love to hit the gas for.

Bruceski fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Feb 9, 2022

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:19

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# ? May 30, 2024 17:23

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

...how in any way is that a compromise?

Compromise can mean different things in different situations. Like, there can be a compromise between two positions, which is what you're talking about. Then there's the compromise between "I want to see a Batman movie" and "I'm a goddamned adult whose wife is about to give loving birth" and in that situation you compromise with basic human decency by acting like a goddamned adult.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:22

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Some disputes aren't meant to be compromised. There's no compromise position for "hm what's the bigger priority birth of my first child or batman movie?" There's a solid, unwavering answer to that question for anyone who isn't a manchild.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:23

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Batterypowered7 posted:

AITA for embarrassing a lunch thief at work.

I know they're probably just lovely dudes who are mad the new hire had the gall to act like they were people, but I want to believe they're just mad jealous because they've never stood up to the lunch thief and are thinking about all the lunches they could have eaten if they had showed any spine.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:24

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Hellblazer187 posted:

Some disputes aren't meant to be compromised. There's no compromise position for "hm what's the bigger priority birth of my first child or batman movie?" There's a solid, unwavering answer to that question for anyone who isn't a manchild.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:26

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

Batterypowered7 posted:

AITA for embarrassing a lunch thief at work.

Another candidate for the Petra titanium backbone award.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:34

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

a bloo bloo bloo someone was mean to me after I stole their poo poo

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:34

GigaPeon: Apr 29, 2003; Go, man, go!

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for walking out of my cousin's wedding?

Is there some kind of German word for thinking someone's a real piece of poo poo while also admiring the audacity it takes to do something so terrible?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:35

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I hope wife of bathroom husband eventually realizes her life is going to take a turn for the better with this change. It's sad that she thinks she made a mistake. With his nuclear reaction he's definitely hiding something very weird and bad. I couldn't find the update on reddit so I don't know what people are saying to her but I hope they are reassuring her.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:36

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Hellblazer187 posted:

I hope wife of bathroom husband eventually realizes her life is going to take a turn for the better with this change. It's sad that she thinks she made a mistake. With his nuclear reaction he's definitely hiding something very weird and bad. I couldn't find the update on reddit so I don't know what people are saying to her but I hope they are reassuring her.

It was super buried in the replies. Just click the OP and see their comments it was made today.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:39

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Hellblazer187 posted:

Some disputes aren't meant to be compromised. There's no compromise position for "hm what's the bigger priority birth of my first child or batman movie?" There's a solid, unwavering answer to that question for anyone who isn't a manchild.

It seems kind of dumb to think the kid is going to come on the due date. I mean, might as well cancel work and all of life if you are going to just be waiting around. First babies tend to come late anyway. Or it could come early and obviate the whole discussion when there is a screaming newborn to watch instead of the movie. Blocking out the entire due date makes no sense at all, because babies don�t actually come on the due date. It�s just and �around this time� date.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:40

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Are there humans in the year 2022 who can't imagine not making plans to go out for a couple weeks?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:43

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

therobit posted:

It seems kind of dumb to think the kid is going to come on the due date. I mean, might as well cancel work and all of life if you are going to just be waiting around. First babies tend to come late anyway. Or it could come early and obviate the whole discussion when there is a screaming newborn to watch instead of the movie. Blocking out the entire due date makes no sense at all, because babies don�t actually come on the due date. It�s just and �around this time� date.

If baby comes a few days early, great. If baby comes a few days later and you see Batman the weekend after it opens, that's also great. I feel like you shouldn't schedule completely frivolous multi-hour items on or around the due date of your child.

Also, nobody should be going to a movie theater right now it's still Covid times.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:45

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

But this time we�ll find out what makes Batman Batman!

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:46

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

therobit posted:

It seems kind of dumb to think the kid is going to come on the due date. I mean, might as well cancel work and all of life if you are going to just be waiting around. First babies tend to come late anyway. Or it could come early and obviate the whole discussion when there is a screaming newborn to watch instead of the movie. Blocking out the entire due date makes no sense at all, because babies don�t actually come on the due date. It�s just and �around this time� date.

I believe the proper term is "guess date." And yeah no one has any idea when the kid is going to come out, as long as your wife isn't having contractions before you go to the theater it shouldn't be an *issue.

*Holy poo poo moron don't go to a loving movie right now and get exposed to covid right before your baby shows up. I am pretty sure your wife will be very mad if you can't be there while she gives birth if you are positive for covid

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:47

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

I have a couple friends whose due date is 22/02/2022, and they are fervently hoping to hit their actual due date.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:47

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

But this time we�ll find out what makes Batman Batman!

SPOILER: it's the bat

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:50

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Batman�s always like �I�m Batman� but how does he know?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:51

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Skipping the birth of my child to watch Robert Pattinson jerk it in another movie.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:51

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I have a couple friends whose due date is 22/02/2022, and they are fervently hoping to hit their actual due date.

"DOCTOR, PLEASE START MY WIFE ON A PITOCIN DRIP. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT THIS CHILD IS BORN TO-DAY!"

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:51

Total Meatlove: Jan 28, 2007; Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I have a couple friends whose due date is 22/02/2022, and they are fervently hoping to hit their actual due date.

I think aesthetically pleasing dates do see statistically significant upticks in interventions and inducements? Like February 1st 2034/January 2nd 2034 will be massive for it.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:53

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

This father of the year starts out with petty poo poo stirring and acting out against the children to punish the ex wife. The comments get increasingly worse as things go on. If you want the petty tantrum stick to the OP, if you want to dig deeper read the comments. I've spoilered the worst stuff if you don't want to read that far.

AITA for refusing to let my son borrow a tie and shoes?

quote:

I rarely see my kids due to the fact that I live with my mom and my ex and daughter were able to convince the courts that my mom was abusive, so our court order states that the kids can't be here for any reason. I can't drive due to Illness. I do talk to my kids on the phone once a week or so.

I hate my ex and she hates me, she is trying to get full custody since I haven't taken them overnight in 2.5 years. I really want to see them but have only been able to about 10 times since the pandemic started.

Last night I was talking to my son (15) and playing a game online with him when my ex interrupted and made him try on a suit she had borrowed from someone for him for Military Ball for his JROTC. He had me on speaker and I asked that she quit interrupting our conversation.

She just ignored me as he tried it on. Then she had the nerve to ask if I had a solid color tie or dress shoes (son and I wear the same size shoes) that my son could borrow for one night.

I told her to never ask me for anything! If he needs something she can buy it for him! And to not inturupt our conversation.

My son then told me, to not talk to his mom like that and that she was just asking a question. I tried to explain that if she wants him full time she can take care of all his needs and buy him dress shoes and a tie.

Well then she yells "if you had paid child support in the last year maybe I could" to never mind that she will just ask her brother or dad if they had something for him.

My son hung up on me and told me he didn't want to talk to me anymore, if I was going to talk to his mom like that

So AITA for refusing to give my son a tie and dress shoes.. since I rarely see him and if his mom wants him full time she can take all responsibility for him? My ex and son sure seem to think so.

The OP's comments a trip

quote:

No she had the audacity to ask me to let him borrow something. Then when I told her not to ask for anything or interrupt my conversation with my son. She started arguing and saying I should pay child support and that she will just ask her dad or brother, just to rub in my face that she can get help from them

quote:

My ex is crazy, her whole goal has always been to take the kids away from me and my family.

She does what she wants with the kids and doesn't ask me my opinion on everything. I still have 50/50 custody. She has my youngest on medication for ADHD and anxiety. She put the kids in the high school she works at instead of keeping them in the charter school they were in. She allowed my son to be in JROTC even though I don't agree with the military.

She allowed her boyfriend to meet the kids without letting me know that she was dating and is taking him on vacation with them this summer. She leaves the kids (13,15 and 16) alone for a few hours 1-2 times a week to go to dinner with him.

Her dad gives her money and pays her car payment. Her brother pays her lawyer and she gets food stamp and Medicaid for the kids. She gets a lot of help but because I don't have that support she always comes out ahead.

quote:

I don't agree with her at all, but she and my daughter exaggerated things to the court and now the kids can't be at my mothers house, she needs to take full responsibility for them. That includes clothes for dances, it's not like she bought him a new suit she borrowed it from someone, so she got that for free.

OP previously posted in r/custody and also got demolished in the comments. OP clarifies the mom's behavior in a few comments over there. CW: physical abuse

quote:

I'm not refusing to believe anything. My mom is telling one story and my daughter another.

I know that my mom is very weak and couldn't hurt anyone, even if she tried.

I know my daughter didn't get along with my mom before the incident and is super dramatic, plus she knows if she gets her mom involved (who hates my mom) that she will cause a big scene about it. Which is exactly what happened, even if my mom did accidentally hurt her, there was not reason to get the police involved. We could have discussed it like rational people

CW:

quote:

My mom is disabled and very week. She says she simply tried to stop my daughter from hurting herself. My daughter claims she choked her. My mom is not strong enough to do that.

My ex picked up the kids that day and filed a police report.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:58

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

AITA for telling my parents I�m going to be as big a problem as my sister from now on?

quote:

I (17f) am the �responsible� kid according to my parents. I have two siblings (14f, 11m) and my bro and I get along because we�re both pretty quiet and easy going but my sister is a complete bitch to put it frank. She throws a fit whenever she doesn�t get her way and usually my parents just give in because she�s a big pain to deal with for days. She always has to be the center of attention and she causes problems to get attention when she�s not. Gets really f�king old.

I drive them to school and pick them up now and our mom gave me money to get us fast food for dinner since she and my dad have a work thing and won�t be home til late in the evening. My sister likes McDonalds but I hate McD and we always eat what she wants so I say we�re going to Sonic because I know my bro likes their food and so do I. My sister insists we go to McD and I told her I�m driving, I decide where we go, and both me and bro are tired of McD, she can shut up and deal. She starts screaming at me, tries to call our parents and doesn�t get an answer, and eventually sulks and refuses to order food. I get an extra pack of chicken in case she changes her mind and take us home. She has a screaming crying fit to our parents later about it. Over f�king McDonalds.

Later my mom says I know how she gets and to just humor her next time and I say I�m not going to anymore and also it�s lovely that she gets her way all the time and they need to tell her to can it and make her do stuff me and my bro like sometimes or leave her at home. My mom says she�s difficult and we�re more easy going, so I say �Sooo you�re saying I�m too nice and I need to be difficult to get what I want. Assignment understood. I�m going to be as much of a problem as I can from now on.�

Then I started not doing anymore chores than she does (none), using some of her more irritating phrases to the parents, and loudly complaining about anything she wants to do.

And now I�m the bad guy and being mean and they say I need to be the mature example, but also it kinda worked, they finally made her go to a restaurant we like and never get to go to. AITA?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:00

ponzicar: Mar 17, 2008

Total Meatlove posted:

I think aesthetically pleasing dates do see statistically significant upticks in interventions and inducements? Like February 1st 2034/January 2nd 2034 will be massive for it.

There were people that tried to time the conception date, hire a doctor, and then take a ship to the international date line to try to have the first baby of the new millennium. Unsurprisingly, nobody cared.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:02

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for telling my parents I�m going to be as big a problem as my sister from now on?

huge lmao at these parents just immediately folding, no wonder middle daughter has been able to get away with this poo poo

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:05

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for telling my parents I�m going to be as big a problem as my sister from now on?

lmao this kid rules

that sister is going to be an absolute nightmare adult soon and hopefully the brother can get out before that

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:12

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

lmao amazing. And you know that the parents will never connect the dots to their own behavior.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:14

Cobalt-60: Oct 11, 2016; by Azathoth

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for telling my parents I�m going to be as big a problem as my sister from now on?

"I cast 'Curse of the Reasonable Person.'"
"I cast 'Reverse.'"
"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:22

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Yeah, I feel like I've seen a dozen stories about the parents who just give in to a spoiled child at the expense of their siblings, and this is the first one where the sibling has just called their bluff.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:23

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for telling my parents I�m going to be as big a problem as my sister from now on?

Good job kid. Good job.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:28

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Hughlander posted:

It was super buried in the replies. Just click the OP and see their comments it was made today.

I don't like reddits ui, how about if you just copy and paste this amazing revelation?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:36

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

GigaPeon posted:

Is there some kind of German word for thinking someone's a real piece of poo poo while also admiring the audacity it takes to do something so terrible?

The yiddish word 'chutzpah' would probably suffice. As far as I know, it contains no judgment on whether an action is good or bad, just the shameless audacity of it.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:38

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for telling my parents I�m going to be as big a problem as my sister from now on?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:39

duck trucker: Oct 14, 2017; YOSPOS

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

I don't like reddits ui, how about if you just copy and paste this amazing revelation?

He already did check his post history

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:41

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Yeah. Well, anyways people are telling her exactly what I'd hoped, "you didn't screw up, he did" etc. So that's all I really wanted to see.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 23:46

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Foo Diddley posted:

how the gently caress do you spoil batman, it's been creatively bankrupt for the better part of a century

he mopes about his dead parents then goes and beats up a clown. there, you never have to watch another batmovie again

I hear he punches the clown 3+ times a day

# ? Feb 10, 2022 00:14

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

In the new one he's actually down with the clown.

# ? Feb 10, 2022 00:17

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for not asking my MIL nicely to hand over the baby for feeding?

quote:

Hi. I'm a new mom, had my son 5 weeks ago. my husband's parents have been staying with us and things have been super overwhelming.

MIL has a habit of taking the baby and refusing to give him back to me. She'd say I'm deliberately ruining her time with him. My son needs feeding every 2hrs and she basically makes me beg her to hand him over to me so I could feed.

last night at 10PM. MIL had my son in her arms while sitting on the couch with my husband and his dad. I was exhausted, the baby started crying. I told my MIL to hand him over to me so I could feed him. She refused and I kept asking. my husband starts talking about what a whinny little girl I was to complain that our son is receiving love and cuddles and how I'm using feeding as an excuse to keep the baby away from his mom. I ignored him and told his mom to hand over the baby. she refused and said I needed to wait a little longer.

I got angry at this point, My husband said I could take the baby after I ask his mom nicely. This had me seething I meanly told his mom to stop being annoying and overbearing and hand him over to me. She looked at me shocked and hurt. She handed the baby over and ran into the guest room and my husband gave me a look than followed her and stayed inside to comfort her.

He came into the room while I was feeding my son and started yelling about how disrespectful I was to speak to his mom this way and treat her poorly when all she's doing is showing our son more love than I do. I told him about how she's been taking the baby for hours and preventing me from feeding him properly. he said that 1, our son isn't an object for me to act like I own him and 2, his mom was doing nothing wrong and 3, I should've asked nicely instead of being a bi$ch to his mom and making her cry. I started crying and yelled that I'd go to my mom's place if his parents stay any longer and he yelled back saying "shut the gently caress up, you're only acting up cause you don't want my parents around! gently caress's wrong with you?" then walked out. I felt terrible thinking maybe I was rude to his mom but I also think that I'd hit my limits here. AITA for not asking her nicely like my husband wanted?

Edit; some mistakes because my hands are a bit unsteady.

wher is the acid bath

# ? Feb 10, 2022 00:22

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

I (32f) am having a hard time feeling attracted to my husband (35m) due to his incontinence issues

quote:

My husband and I have been married for almost ten years. We have two beautiful kids. Throughout this time, he has poo poo his pants twice. Bad enough that the pants needed to be thrown away. Just from getting sick, I guess? And then last night, he had really bad diarrhea while waiting for the shower to warm up and poo poo on the carpet. Like...EVERYWHERE. It smelled up our entire upstairs. This sounds like a troll post, but I'm just struggling because this seems abnormal. And it sounds shallow, but I'm just so disgusted. It seems like too much for a grown man to poo poo themselves three times in their adult life (that he's told me about). He's also really into like...fart and poop jokes (which could be unrelated, but it also disgusts me and I hate it). Am I overthinking it? And now our carpet has a slight stain even though he rug doctored it, and I just can't get it out of my head. I can't get the image of him angry that I wouldn't help him clean up the mess of his feces out of my head. How do I get this image out of my head? Right now, I'm repulsed even thinking of holding his hand. Like, does he get off on this?? Is this some weird thing?? How does a grown man do this three times in his adult life?? And it probably sounds like I'm some awful, evil person, but I have a weak stomach and this seems to keep happening and he gets mad that I don't help him with it because his grandmother would help take care of his incontinent grandfather and "Why can't *you* be like that??" But I don't want to do that! I would hire a nurse or something. I have such a weak stomach. Once I was done with baby diapers, I was hoping that was it. I never thought I would be expected to clean up a 35 y/o man's diarrhea. I just feel like it's sapping away my attraction to him. I don't think he understands how disgusted I am to walk on the carpet now. He got poo poo EVERYWHERE and I don't understand how. I just don't know what to do to get this out of my head.

Tl;dr: I am having a hard time feeling attracted to my husband due to his incontinence issues

quote:

He gets really angry when I suggest seeing a doctor and acts like these are just normal accidents. I think a shart would be normal, but throwing away an entire pair of pants doesn't seem normal to me? He just says he has an upset stomach and can't control it.

# ? Feb 10, 2022 00:48

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# ? May 30, 2024 17:23

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Mx. posted:

I (32f) am having a hard time feeling attracted to my husband (35m) due to his incontinence issues

quote:

He gets really angry when I suggest seeing a doctor and acts like these are just normal accidents.

And so the thread finally wraps back around to the goon who adamantly argued a few iterations ago that it was perfectly normal, expected even, to poo poo one's pants upon surpassing the hoary old age of 30

# ? Feb 10, 2022 00:58

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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