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Koivunen posted:Oh lord I hear you on the absentee husband parenting thing.
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Feb 14, 2022 02:15
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| # ? May 30, 2024 17:24 |
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My daughter was born during one of the COVID peaks where I live, and the hospital was refusing all visitors for any reason. I couldn't be there for the birth, couldn't visit after the birth, and couldn't even see the baby through a window or something. We had already cleaned the house and prepared everything before her due date, so I was stuck at home worried sick about my wife but with nothing to do... so I played video games.  Pretty much all day for a couple days. I felt like I was the worst husband and father in the world for doing so while my wife was in labor, but there was literally nothing that I could do to help.I couldn't imagine the kind of horrible guilt I would feel, or how incredibly angry my wife would have been if I had continued to do that after they were discharged from the hospital.
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Feb 14, 2022 03:19
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21 months old and able to do even more chores already  I asked him to do laundry and he emptied the hamper into the laundry basket and hauled it to the washer for me and I only needed to lift it over the baby gate that is too small to fit the basket through for him.
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Feb 14, 2022 03:31
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Spoggerific posted:I couldn't be there for the birth, couldn't visit after the birth, and couldn't even see the baby through a window or something. I thought I remembered things going that direction but then they walked back to "of course the partner can be there for the birth, obviously" (with a mask or whatever?)
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Feb 14, 2022 03:47
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We moved into a new place and had to put up baby gates for the first time after a (minor) stumble down the stairs, also has been walking for about 6 months I have never seen baby so absolutely enraged over her freedoms being curtailed. Shut the door, fine, but she will rain down hellfire if she so much as sees you deploying the gate
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Feb 14, 2022 04:27
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Sivart13 posted:Dang, I hadn't heard of any place with that severe of restrictions. Daughter was born in July, I was just barely allowed in. Right before this I could have gone in, but without re entry privileges, that would have been awful for my son. I think for a while they had no partners prior to that? We ended up there for a week and my MIL was allowed to come in, there was some confusion around that. Great planning there. This is outside of Philly.
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Feb 14, 2022 04:33
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I'm an American living in Tokyo. There's a lot to complain about when it comes to working in Japan, but for the most part (excluding the first half of 2020), they've dealt with COVID pretty well. Nearly everyone wears a mask, even outside, and even traditionally stubborn Japanese companies are being fairly flexible with remote work. I could bitch endlessly about small details and how individual people/companies deal with COVID, but this isn't really the right thread. To be a bit more on topic, parental leave is one other thing I can't complain about. Mothers get leave from a month before their due date to 2 months after at full pay, and then 2/3rds pay until the child turns 1 year old. Fathers can also take the 2/3rds pay leave if they want to. On the other hand, childcare is a total bitch. It's split into daycare for kids up to 3 years old, and preschool for kids 3+ years old who aren't in elementary school yet. Spaces in daycare are limited, and unless you provide proof that both parents are working, you straight up can't put kids into daycare, even just a couple days per week. Even then, sometimes there will be a huge waiting list and not everyone can get their kids in. Some preschools will let even stay at home parents put their kids in, but spaces can still be pretty limited. I've been thinking about being a stay at home father to help make sure our daughter learns English, but zero daycare for the first 3 years will be pretty tough...
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Feb 14, 2022 04:58
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Hadlock posted:We moved into a new place and had to put up baby gates for the first time after a (minor) stumble down the stairs, also has been walking for about 6 months Mine closed the gate on me the other day when he didn't want me to follow him to his room. Then realized that opening the gate takes a very different dexterity skill set that he doesn't possess, and was very mad.
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Feb 14, 2022 05:30
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Even in California, pretty hard core anti covid state, pro covid protection etc, they always allowed in the partner for the birth. I don't always agree with the governor but very early (March? April? 2020) in the pandemic he came out in favor of partners being able to be there for the birth Two days before our scheduled arrival at the hospital they gave us a covid test, we were negative, was a pretty chill* experience *relatively chill, that first week is pretty wild Hadlock fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Feb 14, 2022 |
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Feb 14, 2022 05:31
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Thankfully the loss of poo poo appears to have had the desired effect. Thanks for the various responses as well, it was helpful to be reminded of some of the potential drivers of the behaviour instead of just focusing on how irritated the result is making me. He is under a lot of legitimate stress at the moment between post-grad deadlines/sleep deprivation/demands of 2 kids and probably is having a mental health spike from witnessing the delivery (seriously not a good c-section to have been a spectator in and I'm pretty sure he saw more of the surgery than he was meant to because he wasnt able to stay by my head behind the drape). When my mum leaves he snaps back into his normal functional form and is being more proactive when she is still here now as well. Tamarillo fucked around with this message at 07:13 on Feb 14, 2022 |
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Feb 14, 2022 07:10
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Woot, finally got the eye exam for David, he does not need glasses. Barely.
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Feb 14, 2022 12:33
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Any good guides to hiring a nanny above the board? In MA if it particularly matters. It seems like a LOT.
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Feb 14, 2022 14:54
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Spoggerific posted:My daughter was born during one of the COVID peaks where I live, and the hospital was refusing all visitors for any reason. I couldn't be there for the birth, couldn't visit after the birth, and couldn't even see the baby through a window or something. I am by nature a worrier, and incredibly clingy in times like this. It was hard enough for me to know the pain my wife was in when I was literally at her side with #4 two feet away in the post-caesarean recovery room. With #3, it was kind of traumatizing to be removed from the OR as my wife was screaming because they had to knock her out because the epidural for her C-section wasn't working. Then I had to sit sobbing and crying outside the L&D ward because I didn't know what the gently caress was happening. Daughter came out fine, all well and good, they took her to the neonatal care unit because she was 35 weeks, fine, I wasn't gonna be allowed in just yet anyway. Then it took another half a loving hour before a nurse took me to recovery to see my wife, who at that point I wasn't even sure was loving alive. Then I got booted out of recovery because I promised her I was gonna find out what the gently caress happened (more or less paraphrasing), and her vitals started spiking. Went to the NCU, spent some time with #3 (my firstborn, I was amazed that that tiny thing was inside my wife, that we made her), and returned to wife once she was out of recovery and back to the room. Spent the next 4 hours going back and forth between her and #3 until they finally brought her to us. But not even being allowed at the loving hospital? gently caress that, I'd be a disgusting and awful wreck and very very unreasonably angry at hospital staff. Sorry for the digression  P.S. We did find out what happened. She has some kind of insensitivity to spinal blocks, so she's pretty much a guaranteed general for anything in the future that would otherwise require that.
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Feb 14, 2022 15:51
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Academician Nomad posted:Any good guides to hiring a nanny above the board? In MA if it particularly matters. It seems like a LOT. It’s a pain in the rear end. We bought and used Poppins Payroll and drafted up a whole contract and worked out a nanny share with another family. That website handles paystubs and tax forms and poo poo but I’m not looking forward to filing all of them. Had a month long back and forth debate because the other family wanted to write a contract stating that overtime rules don’t apply, which is literally the #1 thing to NOT do to above the board nannies. I’m sure a judge would not have looked kindly at that contract. They used the nanny share for one week, didn’t like how she dealt with their kid and dropped out. So now I’m stuck with this weird nanny share contract, a payroll and tax website I have to pay for, and the nanny is hinting “hey it would be really nice if I DIDNT have to pay Uncle Sam”. So we went back to below board. We kept all the good stuff from the contract like vacation days and covid tests and overtime and sick time. Hopefully the IRS or the feds or whoever don’t catch me but whatever.
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Feb 14, 2022 16:21
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D34THROW posted:But not even being allowed at the loving hospital? gently caress that, I'd be a disgusting and awful wreck and very very unreasonably angry at hospital staff. Sorry for the digression Believe me, I was angry as hell. I still kind of am, since they didn't let me attend the birth of my first child. I argued with them, my wife argued with them, I offered to fly to the US and get vaccinated before the birth (it was at a time when vaccines were freely available in the US but nearly nobody had them in Japan), but nothing worked. Other hospitals in Tokyo were allowing fathers in for the birth, but my wife had decided on her hospital because it was the only one relatively close to where we live that offered epidurals. Epidurals are fairly uncommon in Japan, and hospitals generally can't perform them without an appointment in advance, so we chose a hospital that would give my wife an epidural over one that would let me be there for the birth. Of course, her water ended up breaking a few days early and she gave birth before her appointment, so she never got an epidural anyway.
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Feb 14, 2022 16:54
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Spoggerific posted:Epidurals are fairly uncommon in Japan,
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Feb 14, 2022 17:21
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My daughter was SO excited for the Valentine’s Day party stuff at daycare today. Dropped the kids off, and 20 minutes later I got a call that she was vomiting so I had to pick her up. She had a huge explosive poop when we got home. No idea what’s going on, she hasn’t been anywhere or around anyone or eaten anything weird. Currently cuddled up on the couch with a bucket.
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Feb 14, 2022 18:22
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What's a standard toddler breakfast look like for you guys Right now ours will chow down on 2/3rd of a banana (leaves the rest behind), three or four strawberries, a raspberry or two and all the honey nut Cheerios she can eat, wash it down with whole milk This seems like a pretty standard American breakfast on the box of a Kellogg's cornflakes box, so I think it's fine, and she's not going hungry before lunch Never had so much fruit in the house since I was about 12 years old
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Feb 14, 2022 18:42
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My toddler’s breakfast is maybe 4 bites of oatmeal, or maybe a third of a slice of toast. She’s 16 months today. She had a bit of toast and a couple apple slices today along with her milk.
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Feb 14, 2022 18:53
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Are there nap regressions around potty training time? They've started introducing potty training at daycare but my daughter is only there half days and she's now consistently skipping her naps when she comes home. I think this is because of potty training because she naps fine over the weekends. It seems to be tied to whether she's pooped in the morning or not, but that's just a hypothesis.
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Feb 14, 2022 19:23
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Hadlock posted:What's a standard toddler breakfast look like for you guys 14 mo old, chase all with milk- 1 scrambled egg, 1 sausage link, some grapes Most of an eggo waffle, half a banana A muffin, half a yogurt cup, some blueberries Oatmeal and fruit Those are my go to breakfasts. Some days he eats a lot more than others, I think it depends on how much new teeth bug him. He loves grapes/bananas/blueberries and will fill up on them if allowed to.
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Feb 14, 2022 19:35
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For toddler breakfast I like to have some stuff prepped in the freezer ahead of time to make things a little easier, like healthy banana oat muffins and chickpea flour waffles. We also do breakfast potatoes (super easy if you do a roasted potato bake for dinner the night before), veggie sausage, oatmeal in a pouch. We try to add fruit but she's not a huge fan, though she actually ate apple sauce the other day! And she likes blueberries too. I try to give her other fruits as an exposure but she hasn't taken to others yet, like mandarin oranges. Tofu scramble is another easy go-to.
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Feb 14, 2022 19:59
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How do you do grapes? I've banned them from my house as they're frequently cited as the top choking hazard. She's been on solids for ~10 months now and has ~10 teeth, do I need to halve/quarter them, or can she generally be trusted now? Same for blueberries? Will look into muffins and potatoes, I forgot eggo waffles existed Oatmeal seems like a giant disaster of a mess? How does that work at all
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Feb 14, 2022 20:10
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Grapes I would quarter at least but I don't use them much. My 22 month old does fine with blueberries if I smash them which doesn't take any time at all, and can be done in mass with a fork. Just enough to break the surface tension really.
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Feb 14, 2022 20:13
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For under 2 years old, we quarter the grapes and for large grapes, we did eighths I think. It sucked but he devoured them. We still halve grapes and blueberries for our 3 year old. Sometimes if the blueberries are very soft we won’t, or sometimes we will just puncture/squish them so that they lose some of their structural integrity. The idea of choking freaks me out so I wouldn’t stop doing that until I’m more confident he won’t mess around and laugh and throw his head back while he’s eating.
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Feb 14, 2022 20:13
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Hadlock posted:How do you do grapes? I've banned them from my house as they're frequently cited as the top choking hazard. She's been on solids for ~10 months now and has ~10 teeth, do I need to halve/quarter them, or can she generally be trusted now? Same for blueberries? My kid loves grapes. I cut them in half for her if they’re small, quartered if large. I used to cut them even more, but she can handle them pretty well now. You just have to make sure that they’re cut lengthwise.
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Feb 14, 2022 20:14
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Our daycare's sensory activity today was putting the kids in a pool of cooked noodles. We have a picture of our child reclining as if she's in a sauna in a pool of noodles, surrounded by other vaguely confused toddlers. We checked and noodles are not the lunch menu. noodles.
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Feb 14, 2022 20:14
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Benagain posted:Our daycare's sensory activity today was putting the kids in a pool of cooked noodles. We have a picture of our child reclining as if she's in a sauna in a pool of noodles, surrounded by other vaguely confused toddlers. We checked and noodles are not the lunch menu. Same but my daycare is provided by my employer, Ramen.
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Feb 14, 2022 20:32
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Benagain posted:Our daycare's sensory activity today was putting the kids in a pool of cooked noodles. We have a picture of our child reclining as if she's in a sauna in a pool of noodles, surrounded by other vaguely confused toddlers. We checked and noodles are not the lunch menu. How in the logistical hell do they set that up.
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Feb 14, 2022 20:33
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Benagain posted:Our daycare's sensory activity today was putting the kids in a pool of cooked noodles. We have a picture of our child reclining as if she's in a sauna in a pool of noodles, surrounded by other vaguely confused toddlers. We checked and noodles are not the lunch menu. Okay, my kid as a toddler would have loved this.
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Feb 14, 2022 20:44
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We go through a few breakfasts: Oatmeal with berries in it. Gives some good spoon practice but he normally drives in with his hand whenever he sees a blueberry. Yes it is a bit messy but not too bad because he knows that any sort of intentional flinging is instant "all done" with no do-overs. Banana oat bran muffins. Huge hit because they are ball shaped. Grits, slightly over cooked and cooled so they solidify a bit. Bagels or toast with various toppings like hummus, peanut butter, or cream cheese. Sometimes he wants the topping, sometimes just dry toast. I've been trying for months now to get him to give eggs a go by including them on his plate regularly, but he ignores them unlike anything else we've tried. Not even interested enough to poke at them, it is like they don't exist. I wish he would because him eating eggs would make breakfast much easier since that's normally a big part of our breakfast.
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Feb 14, 2022 20:51
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Hadlock posted:How do you do grapes? Hadlock posted:I forgot eggo waffles existed That said, my son is extremely regimented and demands a nutrigrain bar and yogurt every morning for breakfast. I'm not sure how happy I am about this particular combination but he gets irate if we're out of either one.
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Feb 14, 2022 21:11
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iv46vi posted:How in the logistical hell do they set that up. All we saw is a small kiddie pool filled with noodles but I will be asking some questions at pickup today and will relay answers. Daycare said our kid was "confused but willing to explore the noodles" which hell, same.
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Feb 14, 2022 21:24
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We do a lot of yogurt and toast. He's allergic to egg, oat, and rye.  He loves fruit, we just don't usually do it for breakfast. Recent challenges include deciding not to listen to daycare teachers, yelling at them you don't have to listen, then being surprised when Dad shows up grumpy to take you home to nap. I know four is hard kid, but cut me a break.
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Feb 14, 2022 21:26
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Alarbus posted:We do a lot of yogurt and toast. He's allergic to egg, oat, and rye. Is he grumpy about the unreasonable grownups making him lie down like a little kid, by any chance? Mostly kidding, but at our preschool/daycare, I think none of the three-and-a-half year olds nap any longer. Ours hasn't since just after she turned three. She'd be pretty furious if the staff tried to get her to go to sleep. She wants to do puzzles, or Legos or whatever the bigger kids are doing at nap time.
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Feb 14, 2022 21:40
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I have only been giving my 13 month old a bottle of milk in the mornings because I know he’ll get a snack as soon as he gets to daycare, but this morning he downed 2 bottles of milk so that may be a good indication that breakfast food is needed.
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Feb 14, 2022 21:41
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remigious posted:I have only been giving my 13 month old a bottle of milk in the mornings because I know he’ll get a snack as soon as he gets to daycare, but this morning he downed 2 bottles of milk so that may be a good indication that breakfast food is needed. Yeah we give ours a pouch in the morning even though he gets a full breakfast an hour later at daycare. Just something to take the edge off. When he’s at home his breakfast is normally oatmeal with a lot of fruit in it (like a whole banana). He still tolerates spoon feeding to some extent but sometimes insists on eating the second half of his oatmeal by hand. That’s a fun cleanup.
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Feb 14, 2022 21:54
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Ours has received a cup of milk and some fig newtons every morning since he was on solids. Afterwards he'll get oatmeal or a scrambled egg or something more substantial, though on school days he gets breakfast there, but he always asks for his milk and fig newtons.
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Feb 14, 2022 22:22
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thunderdome winner
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On the flip side re: homemade vs store bought, my 4 year old can literally make his own eggo waffles in the morning in our pop-up toaster. He wouldn’t be able to take them out of a proper toaster oven on his own. I’m big into letting kids start to self-serve as early as possible, so ease of serving / heating factors into what I prefer to give them to get them accustomed to eating.
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Feb 14, 2022 22:33
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:Is he grumpy about the unreasonable grownups making him lie down like a little kid, by any chance? Yeah. Not many of them sleep during nap/quiet time, but I know he didn't sleep much last night, so he needed it. It's been a recurring problem because he won't stay on his cot, so he ends up bothering the other kids, then won't listen because toddler sunk cost fallacy, and so on.
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Feb 14, 2022 22:50
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