|
Cornwind Evil posted:At least in that case, they had some entertainment by having someone playing Bill Clinton at ringside who interfered and then did stuff like "I did not just interfere in that match!" He did a pretty good impression of the man, all things considered. At least they were upfront about the fact that they were impersonators. In the early 90s they would have a Bill Clinton lookalike in the crowd and the commentators would insist that yes, the President of the United States is in attendance and being interviewed by IRS.
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 14:41
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 29, 2024 14:12 |
|
|
Cornwind Evil posted:Take a wild guess who got the moon push. THE WRONG CHICO
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 15:26
|
|
|
shadow puppet of a posted:Then who would you say is the Shane Douglas of politics? AchtungBaby posted:Jeb Bush Jeb Bush, after winning the presidency posted:In the tradition of Teddy Roosevelt, in the tradition of John F. Kennedy of The Kennedy Brothers, of John Adams, of John Quincy Adams, the man who will never die. As the real "Gipper" Ronnie Reagan, upstairs tonight. From the Abe Lincolns, to the George Washingtons, to the...Donald Trumps, I accept this United States Presidency. Sydney Bottocks fucked around with this message at 16:19 on Feb 15, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 15:56
|
|
|
Vince McOldmahon
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 17:10
|
|
|
If anything defined the misstep that was Kevin Nash, WWF Champion, this picture is a thousand words. Something that Vince never learned, it seemed, was that one of the things that made Hulk Hogan was that he basically emerged on the high stage as the noble, superhuman superhero; yes, he’d worked mostly as a heel before then, but back in those days only the most hardest of hardcore fan would remember things like Sterling Golden. Lex Luger, and Nash, on the other hand, had started in the WWF as heels. Having their personalities abruptly turn from ‘arrogant prick’ and ‘big mean bastard’ to ‘smiling champion of the people’ simply did not work. Of course, what was a problem, the people involved made worse. The Clique’s influence finally hit critical mass (or maybe turned cancerous would be a better analogy) in November of that year, when Diesel and Shawn Michaels finally ‘exploded’ at the November PPV, and less than two weeks later, Diesel beat new heel world champion Bob Backlund (crowned on that same PPV) in NINE SECONDS on a house show to become the WWF Champion out of nowhere, as Vince, Hulk Hogans AGAIN in his eyes, tried to remake the Hulkster in Nash in the same way he’d failed to with Lex Luger. It turned out that just because you were tall, menacing looking, had a good head of hair, could look cool standing around, and with the right setup to hide your weaknesses could do some neat things in the ring…didn’t mean that you could actually draw money. Nash’s run as WWF champion, which lasted nearly a year, ultimately ended up a disaster, made worse by the fact that without a very talented wrestler in the ring to carry him, like Bret Hart or Shawn Michaels, Nash’s matches were subpar at best, and often the drizzling shits. Which, again, after several years of Bret Hart, Wrestler Supreme, being the top guy, was VERY noticeable to the fans who had continued to stick around. How bad were they? Even Vince, who had always hated the ‘wrestling’ aspect of wrestling, was so offended by Diesel’s last big title defense in October of 1995 (before he lost it in November) that he literally threw down his headset when it was over and basically yelled at Nash before they were even backstage that he was done as champion. When your wrestling is so bad it offends McMahon, you know you done goofed. Unfortunately, Nash’s failure as champion didn’t slow down the Clique, who had by now fully transitioned from ‘group of personal backstage friends’ to ‘THAT group who causes all the trouble’. With the fact that they could strongly influence themselves getting the high on the card spots and paydays, and by extension, since they were the stars, who got to work with them to also get those paydays, they promptly did everything to do so. And if they didn’t like someone, or they felt someone was a threat to their spots, they would get in Vince’s ear, or haze/harass them, trying to get them to quit, or at least let them know that the pecking order was set in stone and where their place was on it. And when I say ‘The Clique’, 80 percent of the time what was really meant was first-among-equals leader of the group, Shawn Michaels. Michaels, like the briefly mentioned Dynamite Kid, was another case of a man who had one in a generation talent, and acted in such a way that that fact became an argument that this is not a universe with a just god. Wrestling has seen plenty of backstage prima donna pot stirrers, tantrum throwers, and backstabbers, but Michaels stood out; he was incredibly talented, and he KNEW it, and his ego had expanded beyond even where his talent was. Michaels could, and did, have great to amazing matches with just about anyone, but they were matches on Michaels’ terms, filled with all sorts of little details that you likely didn’t notice unless you were looking for it, but subconsciously perceived in such a way so that Michaels looked just a little TOO good, at the cost of his opponent. And if that wasn’t enough, Michaels would just go running to Vince to bitch things out over the smallest things, and how he didn’t want to work with X/Y/Z. Never mind that correctly working with X/Y/Z could draw money; The Clique, and Shawn, knew who they wanted to work with. Themselves and the ones they liked. To make it worse, by 1995 Michaels had developed a bad drug habit, mainly based around tranquilizers and ‘downers’, so that when he wasn’t acting like a spoiled five year old, he was strung out of his mind and needing to be carried out of the arena. Bret Hart, in his book (and yes, Bret Hart would end up being one of Michaels’ real life ‘mortal enemies’, and hence this information might be incorrect, possibly to an extreme or total degree…but I am biased towards Bret, as I am and will always be a mark for him, so again, take this with a chunk of salt) claimed that Michaels’ real issue was that he was terribly insecure, always questioning himself and having little panic attacks, and that he grievously overcompensated via his backstage crap and his pills. And worse still? In the 1990’s, with the WWE in the doldrums, Michaels was one of the few wrestlers who could potentially draw, and was quite over. Too over. Perhaps what truly sealed Kevin Nash’s fate as WWE champion was that it came out of his long term partnership with Michaels dissolving, with the story being Michaels had been exploiting Nash for their whole partnership and Diesel finally had enough. Ergo, after a (great) match with Bret Hart (which was 90 percent Bret) at the January 1995 PPV to try and give Nash some ‘credibility’, it was only logical for his first big feud to be with Michaels; Michaels won the Royal Rumble the same night, penciling him in for a world title match at that year’s Wrestlemania, and the WWE made sure he looked credible by having the man beat some big men clean to show he could, as well as giving him a new bodyguard, Sid Eudy… Except this did the job too well. The idea was that Diesel, despite his size, would have his back up against the wall, but his babyface fire and determination would see him through and Michaels would be punished for his ‘evil manipulations’ via losing. Except by trying to give Michaels credibility, they accidentally went and made Michaels MORE over than Nash. Rather than “We want to see this guy get smashed”, the audience started coming around to “This guy is awesome, we want to see him win the title.” Like I said. Do your job well as a heel and sooner or later you’ll become a face by sheer inertia. Which meant that instead of his big tall Hogan replacement, the fans were telling Vince that they wanted the belt on the ‘small’ ‘bad guy’. Needless to say, this was Just Not Done. As one final insult, Shawn made it clear through ‘inside insinuation’ during his promos leading on to the match that he was going to have his ‘working boots’ on and do everything to show that he did deserve to be in the top spot, even if it meant kneecapping his friend. When you’re willing to do that sort of stuff with someone you considered a FRIEND was all you really needed to know about what sort of man Michaels was back in those days. And that was more or less exactly what happened. Shawn, like Bret, pulled the inexperienced and more limited Nash to a great match, and ‘won’ even though he lost. When Vince tried to manipulate the audience by having Sid turn on Shawn to get Diesel vs Sid, the fans refused: they wanted Shawn. Cue half a year of Diesel having terrible matches with other big slugs and Shawn getting repeatedly sidelined as Vince fought like a rabid animal to do things his ways, which is one of the reasons that the WWF in 1995 is considered the worst year in the company’s history. You might have felt bad for Shawn, if he wasn’t being a total piece of poo poo backstage and making things harder for the boys. Like Bret Hart, who, being the guy who basically carried the company through 1992/3/4 when it was dropping like a rock, got sidelined via the Clique’s influence into dumb, pointless feuds and storylines, including fighting Jerry Lawler in a “Kiss My Foot” Match (though I’ll swear by it in that my 13 year old self was immensely entertained by the ending of it), then fighting Jerry Lawyer’s evil dentist (Glen Jacobs, who would eventually change gimmicks and become Kane), then fighting the evil pirate Jean Pierre Lafitte because Lafitte stole his jacket. Needless to say, the Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels relationship would only get worse, especially when Vince finally decided to pull the plug on the Nash experiment and had Bret win the title back in November 1995. Except Bret had just won the title so that his reign could be used as a side story to set up an Undertaker vs Diesel match for Wrestlemania 1996, where he would also lose the title to Michaels, who Vince had finally turned face and decided to put in the top spot. Bret really didn’t like this whole ‘have title solely to set up match and give title to another man’, and after the Wrestlemania, took an extended leave from the WWF, while considering jumping to WCW. His reasoning being sound is best demonstrated by how when the match between him and Bret was done and Michaels was now champion, he was reported to have said “Get this piece of poo poo (Bret) out of my ring! This is MY moment!” (Really, if you want a single moment to define what Michaels was back in those days, look no further than his match against Vader at Summerslam 1996, when Vader would get mildly confused and get his spots mixed up: Michaels was, later in the match, supposed to drop an elbow and Vader would move. Michaels decided to go for another elbow ‘before’ the one they had a rough plan for, Vader figured Michaels wanted to hit him with it, but Michaels was indeed going for the ‘drop elbow, move’ spot. The end result. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8vV8jmF-qc&t=776s It does show Michaels’ talent that you probably wouldn’t notice it unless you were looking for it, but that is Michaels legit kicking Vader in the head while screaming “MOVE! MOVE!” You can even vaguely hear Vader say “Jesus!”; it might have been even louder originally and the WWE might have tweaked the audio. Now, yes, it’s human for Michaels to be aggravated a mistake was made, but Michaels basically yelled so loud that the first several rows heard him, completely disrupting the match and breaking the suspension of disbelief. And why did Michaels do this? Because despite playing one of the most brutal monster heels in the ring throughout his career, backstage Leon “Vader” White was generally considered a big teddy bear and Michaels knew he could get away with it. Trust me, had Michaels been working with renowned legit tough man Ron Simmons, he would NOT have done this. But he knew he could get away with it, with who it was, so he did, and then after the match he would bury Vader, saying he was fat, couldn’t work, and Shawn wouldn’t work with him any more, cutting out the legs of any WWE career Vader could have made) Nash, having lost the title, swiftly semi-turned heel again and added some ‘tiny peek behind the curtain’ elements to his character by claiming that the WWF had neutered him and reduced him to smiling padlum because he was the face of the company, ie, they’d tried to turn him into another take on “Say Your Prayers, Take Your Vitamins” Hulk Hogan, as demonstrated by that WWF cover where he was wearing a poo poo eating grin when he should have been looking menacing. This reworking gave his character an edge again and might well have led to Nash eventually getting freshly over and becoming WWF champion again, someday…except it was right around then that Eric Bischoff came calling with his higher money, less dates, less travel, and creative control contract offers in WCW. All said and done, Nash would have to be an idiot devoted to the business to turn it down. And that was not who Kevin Nash was. No. Nash had learned well what really made the wheels turn in the business. It wasn’t about how hard you worked; it was about who you knew backstage and what levers you could control. The fans? They weren’t hard to please. Just stand around, or say something like “We’re just TOOOO SWEEEEETTT” for them to sing along with, and they followed like Pavlov’s dog chasing their bells. Hard work? That was a sucker’s game. And as a point in his defense, Nash was trying to look after himself with this attitude. Nash, as said, is very tall and very long legged. In his youth, as I am sure you will be surprised to know, he played basketball, and had actually begun playing professionally in Europe in the early 80’s before a knee injury ended his career. As it turned out, said knee never quite healed properly, and hence Nash basically performed his whole wrestling career, more or less, on one leg, as demonstrated by these before and after pictures after his retirement (maybe mildly NSFW in that it shows a man in boxer-briefs and shirtless in one case) where he had a complete knee replacement and stem cell therapy. People make fun of Nash for an infamous moment where he tore an arm muscle, came back after four months, and on the very first match that he returned in tore a leg muscle doing the VERY FIRST MOVE HE DID that required him to be taken off TV for ANOTHER six months, but between that picture and the fact that tall people’s legs are vulnerable in general, and I can understand why Nash wanted to take it easy. It’s one thing to be like Jeff Hardy, whose body seems to be made out of rubber and has endured decades of jumps and impacts where most people’s bodies would be an eroded half-functioning wreck that could barely move around their bedroom after half that amount of time and abuse, and it’s another to be a tall man with a bad wheel. Doing more with less is just smart. Nash did, in university in his youth, major in psychology. But, as it is in wrestling, Nash just couldn’t stop there. Some called, and call, him the smartest man in wrestling for getting as much for as little as possible, but others called him lazy, half assing through everything and using his backstage clout to be allowed to keep doing it. He couldn’t even properly devote himself to being a heel; despite being what was considered an outside invasion force that was trying to basically destroy the company so they could rule the ashes, Nash had to toss in little things so he would come off as ‘cool’. But okay, fine. Hogan was still the centerpiece of the NWO, and HE was more than enough of the traditional heel…except he was Hogan. drat it. But, at the time, none of that mattered. At the time, WCW had suddenly gotten two of the WWF’s biggest stars, and had them align with Hulk Hogan in an earth shattering heel turn. While Vince had a crop of cartoon characters and a small man as champion. In essence, he had nothing and nothing that could be developed as a counter. Eric Bischoff had seemingly masterfully repeated history and turned it into a fatal blow, and now Vince had been metaphorically kneecapped, disemboweled, and had a foot stomp his face into the dirt. WCW promptly began winning the ratings war and kept doing so for a year and a half, straight. Without the deep pockets that Ted Turner and Time Warner had as padding for any mistakes WCW had, and nothing to counter this red-hot NWO angle, it seemed like Vince’s time was over, and a new king was going to have a years long reign on the top, as Vince and the WWF shrank into irrelevance or insolvency, just like so many of the territories had under Vince’s predations. Except… It’s a story that shows you never know just what history will turn on, or how things will ripple. And it would turn on the actions of Paul Levesque, a big muscular blonde who had switched from WCW to WWF in mid 1995. Given the gimmick of ‘Hunter Hearst Helmsley’, a Connecticut blueblood snob pastiche slash stereotype that was likely Vince insulting the ‘old rich’ who would never accept him, a jumped up carnival con man (again, he and Trump, man, it rhymes). Paul swiftly noted the backstage foursome of the Clique and the power they wielded. Now, whether Paul, or Hunter, actually wanted to become legit friends with the Clique, or he saw opportunity and went for it, he promptly tried to ingratiate himself with the friend group and join them, doing things like carrying their bags and fetching them donuts, you know the type, I’m sure some people have been part of a friend group with a similar member. Whatever his exact motivations, it worked, and by 1996 the Clique officially included Hunter. But the group of five wouldn’t be five for long, as Nash and Hall were due to leave for WCW in late May. And so, with Waltman being in drug rehab and hence not being around, Nash and Hall would have their then-final WWE matches at Madison Square Garden on May 19th. Hall would face Hunter, and lose. Nash would face then WWF champion Michaels in the main event, and lose. And that should have been that. Except instead of Michaels celebrating alone in the ring, Nash would get up, and the two men would hug. …whereas in the storyline, Michaels and Nash were engaged in a super bitter feud where Nash had repeatedly harmed Michaels, powerbombed him through the announcer’s table, and been so determined to beat him in their lone PPV match of the feud that he attacked retired wrestler “Mad Dog” Vachon in the crowd and PULLED OFF HIS ARTIFICIAL LEG TO BEAT SHAWN WITH. It was Diesel’s final feud, and he was presented thoroughly as scum, with Michaels being the righteous knight putting him down for his ‘crimes’. And now they were hugging. And then out came Hall, and Hunter. They raised each other’s hands and basically took a bow before the crowd. It would come to be known as the Curtain Call, the final example of just how important the Clique thought they were. Yes, it was 1996, kayfabe was more or less dead. And it was in Madison Square Garden, which was generally one of the most ‘smart’ audiences when it came to wrestling. But just like Hannibal Lector didn’t say how much fun it was to work with Clarice and that they’d made a great product in his final scene, you just Did. Not. DO. That. Maybe kayfabe was dead, but you didn’t piss on its corpse and then dance on it. And you didn’t just completely shatter the face/heel dynamic back then, even if cameras weren’t officially rolling. But they were the Clique. They were King poo poo, and they wanted to say goodbye together, and so they did. Hell, if you believe Bret Hart, the group had actually been bragging backstage that Hall and Nash were going to ‘take over’ WCW, and with Shawn being ‘in charge of’ the WWF, the Clique would rule the entire North American wrestling world. Despite their thought process, there would be consequences. But, as said, Nash and Hall were off to WCW, they couldn’t be punished. Waltman was in rehab and never returned to WWE, instead ending up in WCW himself shortly thereafter, so no go for him too. And Michaels was world champion, the guy the show was built around. It would just be too much trouble to punish him, or at least, that’s what Vince thought at the time. As the Vader example showed, his behavior didn’t improve. So that left one person holding the bag: Paul Levesque. And boy did Vince fill it with poo poo, as Hunter spent the next six months jobbing to everyone under the sun. But the biggest thing that happened was, before the Curtain Call, Hunter had been penciled in to win the June 1996 PPV tournament, the King of the Ring. This was not happening now, so they needed a new winner. Hmmm, who would work best…hey, this Steve Austin guy would also make a good winner. So he did. Which meant he got to cut a promo while being ‘crowned’. In those days before WWE tried to script everything like a TV show, Austin was likely told to maybe mention one thing and otherwise improvise, and sink or swim. Austin, mocking his opponent’s ‘faith made me better’ gimmick, came out with the line “You talk about your bibles and your Psalms, and your John 3:16…AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHOOPED YOUR rear end.” So yes. In leaving the WWF as they had, and despite how much the ball was in their court, the Clique, a key part of the NWO, had sown the seeds for their own destruction before they’d even started. But, again, it didn’t HAVE to be that way. Cornwind Evil fucked around with this message at 17:04 on Feb 18, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 18:53
|
|
|
Loving these recaps. One thing about Scott Hall coming up with the Razor gimmick was how Vince thought he was a genius and genuinely blown away by how Hall talked about the character. Vince had not seen Scar Face and had no knowledge of Tony Montaya, when it comes to media outside the WWE Vince knows preciously little. And speaking of how much a dick Shawn Michaels was, besides being drugged up to high heaven he was known to have indulged in the ring rats. Women loved him so it was beyond easy. One infamous story is that he took four up to his hotel room, told them to get on their knee's and open their mouths. You kinda can see where that's going right? So did the girls so they did what they were told, only he didn't do what they expected. He instead pissed in their mouths. That's the kinda guy he was.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 19:13
|
|
|
Can believe crazy old man Vince wants Cody Roads back just to give him the Aldo Montoya jockmask, a denim vest over leather jacket and a foam cooler on a stick painted up to look like a sledgehammer just to rib HHH.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 19:16
|
|
|
Haha Bob Backlund looks like he was sucked out of 1978 in that 9 second Diesel loss
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 19:18
|
|
|
SilvergunSuperman posted:Haha Bob Backlund looks like he was sucked out of 1978 in that 9 second Diesel loss It becomes absolutely insane when you realise that bobby lashley is the same age now as backlund was in '94 e: now with extra dankmus https://youtu.be/CEfGgVI6l2A FullLeatherJacket fucked around with this message at 19:57 on Feb 15, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 19:47
|
|
|
Holy poo poo I didn't know the Curtain Call led to Stone Cold becoming A Thing it's so weird how these tiny little things can snowball and create what we knew later on
|
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 19:57
|
|
|
Crazy poo poo going on in the wrestling world right now is that Cody Rhodes has left AEW. For the uninitiated, here's a timeline to explain why this is nuts: - Cody spends 8 years or so in WWE, having a solid enough career as a midcarder. He's unable to break through into the main event. - He gets a new gimmick Stardust and it leads to a feud with his brother Goldust. This is supposed to lead to a high-profile WrestleMania match. The story ends abruptly and he doesn't get his match. - Cody is stuck in the Stardust gimmick, miserable. He wants to do anything else, but management won't listen. There's even a story where he was pitching ideas to a writer and the writer pretended to be typing into a powered down laptop. - Cody gets his release from WWE. He decides to prove himself in the indie scene and travels around the world, making a name for himself. He appears in TNA, ROH, New Japan, PWG, etc. - Cody joins the Bullet Club/Elite and becomes friends with Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks. - Wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer tells a fan on Twitter that a non-WWE show wouldn't be able to sell out a 10,000 person stadium. Cody decides to take him up on this bet. He and his Elite friends put together a one-shot PPV called All In, featuring matches from various non-WWE promotions. It's a huge success. - WWE wants to hire the Elite guys. Tony Khan instead gets them to sign with him and be on the ground floor for their own promotion All Elite Wrestling. Cody, Omega and the Young Bucks are all executive vice presidents. - The first AEW event has Cody take on his brother Goldust/Dustin in the match WWE refused to give him. During his entrance, he smashes up a throne with a sledgehammer, which is a big middle finger to Triple H. He does a lot of middle fingers to Triple H during his AEW run. - Not wanting to fall into the trap of being like Triple H or any other top guy who has sway in his own promotion, Cody makes sure to lose a match for the AEW Championship with the caveat that he can never challenge for said belt again. He also loses a feud against his protege MJF. - Cody starts having zero to do with the Elite on TV. Rumors circulate that he doesn't really get along with them as much backstage due to creative differences. - Cody creates the TNT Championship as kind of his own vanity title. He books himself to win the tournament and he ends up holding the belt three times. - He gets two shows on TNT: a reality show and a gameshow. - We start getting what fans call "The Codyverse." Cody's presence and storylines seem to be almost completely separate from the rest of AEW. They're all very formulaic and tend to end with him standing tall. They also come with some very questionable promos. The matches are fine, but the whole thing feels weird. - During all of this, his wife Brandi has also been working behind the scenes and outside of her pregnancy and maternity leave, she's been trying to make her own wrestling career work. A lot of the time, it hasn't been great, especially when she had her own stable the Nightmare Collective, which is considered AEW's biggest misfire. - Cody appears to be doing some kind of meta John Cena thing that only he can understand. The fans boo him and he plays it off, but playfully acknowledges it from time to time. It seems like it's going somewhere, but only Cody himself knows where. - His contract runs out and he loses the TNT title to Sammy Guevara. He brings up the news about his contract in a televised interview, but it reeks of being part of the storyline. - News comes out that he and Brandi wanted a bunch of money for their new contracts and Tony Khan wouldn't play ball. Now the two parties have split. Gradually, the whole thing is perceived as less of a storyline and more legit. Cody could very well go back to WWE, though he will absolutely get poo poo on if he does. Gavok fucked around with this message at 21:09 on Feb 15, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 20:16
|
|
|
More likely that wwe has a strict undocumented edict to not hire anyone coming out of aEW. They don’t want bidding wars. Tony is content to Hoover up everyone but I don’t think a single person has been hired by wwe post aew.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 20:39
|
|
|
Cody Rhodes posted:Fine! I'll make my own AEW, with blackjack, and Hookers!
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 20:40
|
|
|
The whole Cody Rhodes thing is hilarious and I'm actually kind of happy because I haaaaaaaaaaaated his promos and the amount of time he ate up on TV. I will say that his matches were usually absolutely awesome, that ladder match he just had was Top Tier Gold and I am gonna miss that. I just wish someone could've helped him figure his poo poo out creatively because it was NOT working
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 20:43
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVputNqXvek&t=329s My favorite storylines that was DEFINITELY written by Vince that also convinced me AEW was the way. The Lana-Lashley Wedding. What a loving hilarious nightmare this entire fuckin' storyline was. I couldn't stop watching, it was so bad, so so so so so bad.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 20:47
|
|
|
Lol Cody Rhodes didn't want to be Triple H *creates a title specifically for himself* *cuts 20 minute long promos that no one cares about* Cody Rhodes always sucked
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 20:50
|
|
|
I met Brett Hart once and bought his lovely foam pink sunglasses that stayed on yr head via rubber loop and two stopper things. i think i chewed off one of the stoppers i wouldv'e been 9 i think you know what was a really fun game at the time and I traded it to someone for ff7 was royal rumble on the genesis i loved those sprites
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 20:56
|
|
|
I met MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE and Miss Elizabeth at some sort of....... thing in the 80s. I'm not even sure what the hell it was. It wasn't a wrestling show. Just some sort of convention or something in Toronto. I came across the autographed photocopy of a picture of them a few years back. They did sign that poo poo for real though. It wasn't a photocopy of an autographed picture, I watched them sign that poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 21:43
|
|
|
It's being said there were issues between Cody and Tony Khan which makes sense. You don't go and build up a whole new company, being part of it and then decide to go back to your old employer who never saw you as anything. It's not like they're hurting for money.
|
|
#
?
Feb 15, 2022 22:15
|
|
|
The Last Call posted:It's being said there were issues between Cody and Tony Khan which makes sense. You don't go and build up a whole new company, being part of it and then decide to go back to your old employer who never saw you as anything. It's not like they're hurting for money. And thus, begins the unraveling of they money mark.
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 02:50
|
|
|
i was into WWF in the late 80s to mostly early 90s, as a kid. got into it because my dad had been watching it since forever, and still does like a total doofus. i also think about NWA and Saturday Night Fights or whatever. wasn't it the Nasty Boys that came out to the Beastie Boys as their entrance music? edit: it was The New Breed that used the Beastie Boys music https://youtu.be/EmeikzuJwDg anyhow, i don't really remember Vince McMahin being the center of attention back then. i do remember some squirrelly dude named Jameson. https://youtu.be/u0WBTof5xmk Vince McMahon was in that clip, but he was no Bobby "The Brain" Heenan is what I'm getting at. cardedagain fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Feb 16, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 02:53
|
|
|
cardedagain posted:i do remember some squirrelly dude named Jameson. You are correct. At the time, Vince was just presented as an announcer and play by play man (and not a very good one; Vince had a bad habit of repeating phrases ("Unbelievable!" was a go to) and not knowing moves, which he'd cover by saying "WHAT A MANEUVER!" But there have been worse, before or since. Art Donovan comes to mind...and considering he did it a grand total of once, that should tell you all you need about how well he did). The on screen authority figure (and hence, implied to be the owner of WWE) during that time was played by Jack Tunney, who was in reality the president of WWE's Canadian operations. I remember when I heard small details about the steroid trial that it was the first time I discovered that the man who actually owned and ran WWE was Vince, and I was like "What? No. He's an announcer! That can't be right." While that curtain would be peeled back in things like the WWE's official magazine as the 90's progressed, it wasn't until The Montreal Screwjob (and maybe a little earlier when Austin 'stunned' McMahon for the first time) that it became out and open everyone was expected to know or learn that it was Vince in charge. Cornwind Evil fucked around with this message at 08:36 on Feb 16, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 05:15
|
|
|
cardedagain posted:the Nasty Boys Maybe they had more than one, but I remember it being like a really lovely record scratch riff over a beat because we used to laugh at how garbage it was
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 05:34
|
|
|
SilvergunSuperman posted:Maybe they had more than one, but I remember it being like a really lovely record scratch riff over a beat because we used to laugh at how garbage it was that was their wwf theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ_Na0YUSWA their wcw theme however, they sang themselves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYf7EKKdz_M wrestlers singing things is always great https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ue_mMXeDjg4
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 05:41
|
|
|
X JAKK posted:that was their wwf theme Ah gotcha! I was disappointed the link wasn't Shawn Michaels' theme featuring
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 05:47
|
|
|
https://youtu.be/kEVeeVOEKtw here's some early WCW theme that was different. https://youtu.be/ypriog7h2OQ this is actually rasslin related. from the Piledriver compilation. cardedagain fucked around with this message at 05:55 on Feb 16, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 05:53
|
|
|
Peggy Edson posted:Lol Cody Rhodes didn't want to be Triple H
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 10:18
|
|
|
I remember right about when I hopped off is when his bro Goldust was either crazy popular or they were pushing him like mad to get there, my friend got the wwf magazine and that dude was plastered all over it
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 10:26
|
|
|
Rhodes as Golddust was 'popular', in that he got a lot of attention, and was basically a forerunner to the Attitude Era as he was supposed to be a boundary-pushing character...but unfortunately, it was the wrong kind of 'popularity' or 'heat'. Because Golddust's gimmick was to utilize androgynous, homerotic actions to (in theory), get into his opponent's heads and bother the fans. The sort of heat that taps into insecure men's fears that 'gayness' is akin to some sort of spreadable disease and that such people can 'convert' you into being a homosexual against your will. The sort of mindset that leads to gay bashing and men being murdered. The kind of heat I think the business is best without; it's all fine and good to get lost in the show, but there's a thin line between 'a really hot crowd' and 'an out of control mob'. --- But, back in the other company around those times... Hindsight is 20/20, and hindsight bias is one bitch of a cognitive bias and trap. I really think that a lot of the problems of modern day first world living have come from trying to make assessments and reactions in turn based on events that have only happened days if not hours ago in the same way that it took older decisions and actions years to really understand. In other words, what seems blindingly obvious now just didn’t at the time. I keep mentioning Trump; how many people on this very site in 2016 were loling at supporting him under the ‘he’ll burn it all down, LOL LOL, but really he’s never gonna be president LOL LOL oh god he said grab ‘em by the pussy LOL LOL’? How many of these theorized folks regret their choice and viewpoint? But that was then, this is now. You can only do what you can do in the time with what you know and understand. Trust me, I'm pretty sure if there had been, or was, people on this forum also posting "You are helping enable a monster who will do monstrous things, because in the end it doesn't matter if you're supporting him because of nihilistic irony, you are still supporting him', the response would have, or was, composed mostly of more "LOL LOL LOL". Many theorize just when the NWO angle began its change from ‘the kingmaker of WCW’ to ‘the end of WCW’. Some say it might well have been the moment it started recruiting new people into the group, ‘watering down’ the elite unit. And while this assessment’s not WRONG, I think it’s far too premature to be placed at such an early date. Namely for two reasons. One; the initial duo and later trio of Hall, Nash, and Hogan were booked IMPOSSIBLY strong for those first months; the Outsiders came in and basically treated WCW as their own personal playground, attacking whoever they wanted seemingly with impunity. When Hogan joined, it only increased; the now-officially-dubbed NWO spent their Monday nights beating the crap out of anyone backstage they could find, including a very famous spot where in one of the fights, small and light cruiserweight legend-in-the-making Rey Misterio Jr tried to jump onto Nash in an outside brawl in parking, only for Nash to grab him and throw him headfirst into the side of a truck like a lawn dart. There was at least one show where the WCW announcers had armed guards to protect them from Hall and Nash; when you think the heel threat is so dangerous that you need men with GUNS to protect you, you know you’re being presented as a danger. But, it was still just three men, who were trying to fight an entire promotion of wrestlers. Eventually, it should be obvious that while these ‘elite invaders’ could destroy people if they ganged up on them or were even numbers with them, they could not fend off a group of a dozen, or twenty, or more. Of course, considering the general ‘inferiority complex’ that would fester throughout WCW’s history and ultimately kill it, it wouldn’t surprise me that if they’d decided to do this in story, the initial three man NWO would have beaten up 20+ men at once. It’s telling that decades later, when WWE was presenting the November Survivor Series PPV as a ‘brand vs brand’ show, ie Monday Night Raw vs Friday Night Smackdown, and Smackdown ‘invaded’ Raw to send a message and play some mind games, that the showrunner for Smackdown brought essentially the entire Smackdown locker room to ‘invade’ and beat up Raw guys in small groups, instead of just bringing three or four of their top stars and run the risk of having the opposite happen to them. (And I suppose if I was going to place the very first sign of how this red hot, rise to the heavens angle was eventually going to chain itself around WCW’s neck and yank them back down to earth and then into hell and oblivion, it was the PPV following the NWO’s formation, where Hogan challenged the Giant/Paul Wight for the WCW Title (possessed at the time by the Giant). Wight, in wider logic, didn’t owe the traitorous and dangerous Hulk Hogan a title shot, in fact it made more logical sense for no one to even have matches with the trio, let alone for titles, but wrestling runs on its own internal logic, and since this was the massive red hot angle, in THAT regard it made perfect logical sense to have the belt put back on Hogan, and also that it made sense that he won said belt due to aid from Hall and Nash. The subconscious clue of what was to come would be just what happened at the very end of the match: Hogan got ahold of the WCW belt and smashed the Giant in the face with it to get the pin. Fine, that’s a classic heel foreign object cheat-to-win move. Except the Giant remained flat on his back for 20 MINUTES after taking the hit, utterly helpless and defeated, even as the trio spraypainted the belt, and Giant’s back, with NWO. No rising up in a rage after a few minutes to maybe get a little of his own and WCW’s back, a ‘you won this day but you didn’t win the war’; nope, the Giant, a literal giant of a man, laid there like he’d been forced to snort ether for an hour straight. As the Death of WCW book commented, “They must have replaced the gold (on the belt) with lead.”) Ergo, to keep credible, the NWO would need secondaries and goons to better attack and defend as a unit. And for the most part, even if the (second main batch) people who joined up were ‘midcarders’, they mostly followed the same theme. Because shortly into September, Ted Dibiase showed up in the WCW crowd, and was revealed to be the ‘money man’ (storyline wise) for the NWO. Then Waltman joined up with his two Clique friends, and in a bit of cleverness uncommon for wrestling, since he was the sixth member of the group (and because 1, 2, and 3 add up to make six), he was called Syxx. (Which eventually became the term of endearment among his friends of “Syxx-Pac”, so when he returned to the WWE in mid 1998, he was dubbed…X-Pac. Ha ha.) And of the midcarders that joined in that second group, two of them, Mike Rotunda and I-have-spoken-about-him-before Ray Traylor, were best known in wrestling under their WWE gimmicks of IRS and the Big Boss Man, making them more ‘WWE invaders’. The only two who were ‘WCW home grown’ who joined were Marcus Bagwell, who turned on his tag team partner, Scotty Riggs, to do so (and some would argue to get away from being attached to what is considered maybe the worst theme song in all of pro wrestling history)... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69krWixkl0o …and the Giant, who joined the NWO less than a month after being beaten so badly by Hogan and co. It was never made super clear why he did that (they may have mentioned that Dibiase had basically bought him somewhere); in reality it was because Davey Boy Smith had been making arrangements to jump to WCW and be the actual fourth/new member, but at the last minute he decided to resign with the WWE instead, hence forcing WCW, who had already promised a ‘big surprise new member’, to throw in the Giant as the last second replacement. So yeah. I don’t think that was the first sign. What I do think was said first sign was already demonstrated with how Giant, who was also ‘wholly WCW grown’, was treated in that title match. Ric Flair had swiftly stepped up after Giant had lost, and fought Hogan at the last Clash of the Champions, winning by DQ, but shortly thereafter suffered an injury that necessitated surgery, forcing him into a more supporting role until the next spring, so he couldn't really lead WCW in the story. However, before that, he would team with his old friend Arn Anderson…and his bitter WCW rivals, Lex Luger and Sting, to challenge the NWO at the fall PPV in a Wargames match. As said, the NWO was trying to ‘destroy’ WCW as a whole, and hence even old enemies had to stand together. The NWO took advantage of this by claiming that Sting was actually on their side, sowing doubt between the four men, and a doubt that really should have been logically dismissed. Sting was WCW to the core, the only one of the team who had never left WCW for the WWF, he was, and should, have been above any sort of suspicion, even when the NWO added to their ruse by getting an imposter to help sell their story. Ultimately, Team WCW fractured, and the War Games match ended up as a 4 on 3, with Hogan, Nash, Hall, and Imposter Sting on one side, and Flair, Luger, and Anderson on the other, and when the actual Sting came out, he beat up the NWO, then flipped off his teammates for so quickly losing faith in him and left, leaving Team WCW to be defeated, fittingly, by the Imposter Sting using Sting’s Scorpion Death Lock to make Luger, Sting’s long time friend and tag partner, submit. Sting, meanwhile, washed his hands wholly of WCW, the NWO, and everything. Having with the last year stopped dying his hair and letting it grow out as his natural brown color, he redid his face paint (the first take on which was so much like the Crow that I’m amazed there was no lawsuit threatened), began growing out his hair even more, dressing up in black, and generally playing “Masque of the Red Death” and brooding in the rafters as he watched WCW be ravaged by the NWO. However much of this was planned both in storyline and backstage and how much of it was a lucky series of story breaks, the NWO had removed Sting as a threat to them, and real life had removed Flair. So, um…who did that leave to stand up and face Hogan and co? Why, Macho Man Randy Savage…who had made his career in the WWF…and jumped over to WCW as part of Hogan getting all his friends hired. And when Hogan bested him through treachery at the October PPV, from the crowd afterwards came…Roddy Piper. Who, again, was pure WWF, now fighting for WCW. Um…what about Lex Luger, who was far more WCW and not injured? Well, he was also fighting the NWO, but mostly their second stringers. The people fighting the heart of the beast? They were all WWF guys, more or less. That, IMO, was the start of it. WCW could have, should have, had their own stars, the people most associated with their company, step up. But just like with the late 80’s, and the signing of Hogan, and hell, the NWO angle itself, WCW was just not secure enough, it seemed, in its own identity, needing to try and instead build off the work of their opposing company. If Flair was sidelined and Sting and Luger couldn’t do it, it wouldn’t have been hard to have other people step up. This was WCW vs NWO, ANY WCW star could have been booked into a newly risen leader figure. Could have. Because this is discounting who was on the other side. That being, Hulk Hogan, and the Clique. At least Wagner didn't have the power to alter other people's operas. And really, you couldn’t blame them for thinking that the sun was shining solely out of their asses in those first months. The ratings kept climbing. NWO merch became gigantic sellers. The group even experimented with radical new styles of videotaped promos that came off almost as militaristic propaganda at times, which got a “this is new and it rules” reaction. They were the bad guys, but drat were they cool. But, AGAIN…wrestling works best as good vs evil. A strong villain needs a strong hero to oppose them. Just like kids who play Star Wars would always want to be Darth Vader instead of Luke Skywalker, but in the end, Luke Skywalker still won. It was what let there be more Star Wars movies (commentary on whether that was a good thing aside). But to Bischoff and his backstage crew, it seemed like it all came from the NWO. They’d interpreted “we like to hate these people, and also sometimes they do cool things” as “we like these people and are paying money solely on their actions”. And to be fair, it was an easy mistake to make…once or twice. WCW never stopped making it. They never could find the courage to let their own product speak for itself. And as Eric Bischoff’s early actions showed, in the end, he didn’t really have anything to say either. Not that had worked. WCW had lost $23 million in 1994, when Bischoff took over and began signing all the WWF guys and feeding WCW to them. And when he finally rewired it and hit a jackpot execution of such a thing…it was all he could think of to do. Just like Vince tried again and again to recreate Hogan, Bischoff could only think to present the NWO, again and again. Why was this? Did he fall under Hogan’s sway? Did he drink his own flavor aid like so many others have? Whatever his reasons, again, it didn’t have to be this way. That showed most of all across the whole year of 1997. First, the NWO got their own PPV, which ended up being a dud. As much as people seemed to love them, they weren’t about to purchase a show that was entirely about the NWO cool heeling and beating up every WCW star and cheating them out of wins. If that hadn’t been enough of a warning, later in the year Bischoff tried to do a ‘NWO Nitro’, part of an idea that WCW would literally ‘retreat’ to another show’s night and let the NWO run the show as their own little kingdom. The ratings dropped, huge; WCW’s famous 82 week winning streak came with a few hairs of only being half as long as it was. Wrestling fans couldn’t, and chose not, to live by NWO alone. They wanted, NEEDED, a strong WCW to oppose them, and, in theory, ultimately rise to the occasion and strike the NWO down. And hopefully, in the process, they could make a bunch of their own personal stars that could stand for the WCW brand in and of itself. Two things best demonstrated this. One was a big, bald man who debuted in September, who had enough strength to do some great power moves, enough agility to do a standing backflip, and having come out of an amateur football career, was capable of delivering a tackle strike that looked utterly devastating. In a bit of luck, things shook out that this man didn’t lose, and after a brief moment where that could have fallen apart (he started doing some flunkeying for a WCW heel woman, which might have put him on the losing end of the feud, but in the end, he won that lone match, which he very well could have lost), WCW realized that the fans were getting attached to his quick, brutal matches, physical charisma, and stripped away all miscellaneous details to reduce him to a man who came, saw, and conquered. His name was the simple Bill Goldberg, or in the end, just Goldberg. The man who COULD have become WCW’s pure standard bearer. And the other one was after watching the NWO grow, continue to dominate through numbers or treachery, beating every WCW person who tried to take a serious swing at them, and sitting and watching like a brooding gargoyle the whole time for months, Sting finally returned to the fold, with shoulder length hair, a style of facepaint that was more original and hence ‘his’...and a baseball bat, rappelling from the ceiling at the end of the March PPV and destroying the entire NWO before threatening Hogan. WCW had a money match, and Bischoff, in his last gasp of brilliance, was going to make them wait for it. Build to it. For an entire year. Until December 1997. Until Starrcade. It could have been WCW’s finest hour, in storyline and out. In reality, it was the beginning of the end. Cornwind Evil fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Feb 21, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 11:12
|
|
|
If only a couple hundred theoretical people hadn't posted lololol we could have saved the world. hosed it up again SA, thanks a lot!
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 11:59
|
|
|
SilvergunSuperman posted:If only a couple hundred theoretical people hadn't posted lololol we could have saved the world. Eh, no, but as said, you never know what seems wholly insignificant will snowball into. Hell, look at these very forums. They were created to 'push boundaries', but some people had a very different idea of what that meant, and they were expunged, so they decided fine, we'll just make our own board, and copied a Japanese one, and 15 years later there's a fair argument that that snowballed into things that will help propel the possible downfall of Western democracy. Now, I'm not saying it was WRONG to kick off the pedophiles back then, but if you told the Something Awful of 2004 that they had played a role in events akin to when Harry Truman said (according to newspapers) on August 12th, 1945 (the day after V-J-Day) said "Today, Nazism is forever dead", you likely would have been laughed out of the forums if not banned for one reason or another. Or, hell, what ended up being the truth of, and fate, of Lowtax.
|
|
#
?
Feb 16, 2022 19:11
|
|
|
I awakened from a dream late last night. I can't remember it, but I awoke drenched in sweat yet frozen to my very core. The dream lingered somewhere in the back of my brain. A warning? A request? No. A test. Yes. A test. A sour taste filled my mouth and in the distance I could hear children, but I couldn't tell if they were crying or laughing. The room spun as my mind struggled to clear the fog of confusion. My hands felt sticky. Sticky, and painful. I could smell blood. Turning on my bedside lamp, I looked down and saw, carved into my skin: Raw. Report. Slowly, I nod. Yes. ----------------------------  Whoah, we're jumping right in here. Doink kicks off the show screaming threats at Macho Man for interrupting his shenanigans. PREVIOUSLY ON RAW!  "MACHO BOY!" taunts the clown several times. Is that an insult? He's still conceding the machoness. A macho boy is more impressive than a non-macho regular man. He goes on about Macho Boy spoiling his Double-Doinker on a previous Raw, and now he's out for clown revenge. Clownvenge. Unfortunately, unless the Gathering of the Juggalos arrives in Poughkeepsie, New York, I don't think I'm going to be too impressed with whatever Doink has planned. Wait, what year is it? How many Joker cards are we on? How many years until I live in Michigan, so at least I can get some Faygo. What the hell am I even talking about? Okay, it might take me awhile to remember how to do these damned things. ---------------------------------- Yup, we're back in the thick of it! On Raw! Report!  Raw Report, July 26, 1993. Season 1, Episode... 27? Good Lord, where does the time go? -----------------------------  "WELCOME EVERYONE, TO MONDAY NIGHT RAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!" shrieks Vince McMahon. I'm trying really hard not to dwell on the fact that Vince will continue to announce on Raw for literal years to come.  "You best heed the words of Doink the Clown!" warns Vince ominously to Macho Boy. Almost like he knows what's gonna happen. Weird. I dunno. I'm not sure the guy who feuded with Ricky Steamboat is too concerned about old Doinker.  While Vinnie Mac promotes a Bret Hart match, they cut to Bret's parents in the audience. Stu Hart looks like, well, exactly like Stu Hart. Meaning, he looks like stew. Stu. Stew. Stuw. Heh heh heh. It's good to be back. -----------------------------  Oh, jumping right into the action. Out comes Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna.  As Bam Bam makes his way to the ring, the microphones are picking up his entrance announcement from Fink as well as Vince screaming whatever nonsense, and with those two overlapping, all you can hear is "djglwgnwlakgnrwlkanrweblrenabbknb naeben b!!!!"  Hell yeah, sole Bob Backlund fan club member, season ticket holder to Raw, representing as usual. Ain't no way this guy is getting on the Lex Express.He's not actually the only person in the Backlund Fan Club. I'm also a card-carrying member.  Out comes Bret "HitBam" Hart! Hot drat! Considering Raw is usually just squash matches, getting a King of the Ring rematch as a curtain jerker feels like a real treat.  Stuck ol' Stuw and Helen in the cheap seats, I see. And for Raw, that's really saying something. Parents of a legendary wrestler and they get to hang out next to, um, this guy.   Let's take a closer look. Actually, nevermind, that guy looks pretty cool. You do you, dude. You're the Fan of the Week.  I guarantee Stu is, at all times, carrying a loaded Luger handgun he took off a dead Nazi officer back in The War. Look at him. Sometimes you can just tell these things.  Credit where it's due, Luna has a nicely shaped skull.  Heenan references Tiny Tim's visit from the last episode. Remember that? Remember Tiny-rear end Tim? Oh, you thought his visit last Raw the whole story?! It AIN'T! Check THIS poo poo out!  According to WrestleCrap, Tiny Tim also appeared in 1980s WWF for... well... really stupid reasons: "What mattered to Vince McMahon was that Tim had been, at some point in life, famous" (Reynolds and Baer 32).  Michelle, having been abandoned by Uncle Joey, gets Bret's glasses.  "Sit down in your seat and mind your manners!" rasps Luna at the crowd. Ah yes. Ettiquette lessons from beyond Thunderdome.  Match is finally underway. Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am immediately begins a beatdown.  Bam spits on Bret and you can see a little on his shoulder. Bret remembers this special attack and uses it on Vince on November 9th, 1997.  Punch. Kick. Punch. Kick. Punch. Kick. Repeat x10.  I get bored and end up watching my cat instead, who is literally sitting still doing nothing, but it's still somehow more entertaining. Her name is Willie Jo and she only has one eye.  Missile dropkick followed by a lariat sends Bigs out of the ring. Luna attempts to distract Bret so Bam can do a sneak attack, but Bret is too smart for that poo poo and catches BB in the act.  Bret leaps off the top rope. Someone inform the OSW guys. Bret gets Bam Bam with the flying crotchbody but hurts his knee in the process. So I guess that's why he sticks to the middle rope.   Bret is coming off extremely weak in this match. Still, he rallies momentarily and drops a lil' 'bow, but then they go back to punchin' and kickin'.  And then it's time for a little break.  *gasp, wheeze* Heenan remarks that Bret has been performing very poorly tonight, and it's not even a heel comment, it's just a fact.  Big back bodydrop. C'mon guys, let's wrap this turd up. Why am I asking for it to end? Like there will be anything else but jobber matches the rest of the show? Macho Boy covers for Bret randomly forgetting to sell his injured knee by explaining that it's "going in and out on him."  Headbutt to the lower back. Oooookaaaaayyyyy..... "Gives a whole new meaning to the word 'headbutt'" chirps Heenan. "Imagine Mister and Missus Hart, looking on at this capacity crowd!" exclaims Vince, which is really, really stupid because you don't have to imagine it at all. They're sitting right there in the nosebleed section. They've been shown a dozen times. Vince can literally see them from his seat.  Going for a piggybam ride. "Bam Bam Bigelow's gonna go night-night on Monday Night Raw!" Good Lord, Vince, you sound like a total moron. Like, more than usual. "Goodnight Irene!" contributes Macho. If anyone understands whatever reference that is, don't bother explaining because I don't care. "Wutta muhnoover!" shouts Vince about some nonsense. Moments later he also refers to a pretty tame bulldog as a "high risk manuever." Easily impressed, this man.  Bret grabs those big ol' hamhocks to apply the Sharpshooter, when we hear Jerry Lawler's voice come on over the venue speakers.  There's Waldo.  Bret releases the Sharpshooter and watches King start harassing the Harts. Stu is older than dirt, but old man Hart attempts to taunt Lawler and slips in some sort of insult that has the word "gay" in it, but it's mostly incomprehensible, especially since Vince won't shut up for even a moment. I turned the closed captions on to see if they helped and no, they didn't. Bret tries to climb through the crowd to get to Lawler but is hauled back by Bam Bam.  King: "I just wanted to come down and meet the couple that produced more tragedies than Shakespeare." This comment did not age well Helen Hart: *mumble mumble mushmouth mumble* Stu Hart: *stammer warble spittle* King: "Why don't you put your false teeth in backwards and eat yourself to death!"  Jerry "The Dairy Queen" Lawler. Printed on one of those old-timey dot matrix printers, I see. King: "When Bret was a baby, he was so ugly, for the first six months you diapered the wrong end!" King: "Miss Hart certainly knows what a loser looks like! She's sitting next to one!" Careful now, King. Remember what I said about the pistol. Lawler asks how old Helen is and she answers "Twelve." Can't tell if she's being sarcastic or senile.  Wrestling is apparently still happening somewhere in the ring. Helen Hart keeps trying to put King in his place, but it's just croaking out lame stuff like "You aren't even a real king," which immediately leads to another barrage of insults from Lawler.  Pat Patterson, previously in the balcony with Lawler and the Harts, suddenly appears at ringside so Bret knows it's time to go do the next thing. Like, it's so obvious that this guy came and got Bret, I'm not sure what the kayfabe explanation is. Also visible: pack of smokes in Pat's pocket.  Bret is counted out.  WWF staff hilariously shove an angry fan who was getting in Lawler's face.  Bret and Pat arrive in the balcony but King has left through the exit. Bret casually strolls after him, goes down a staircase, presumably doesn't see Lawler at the bottom, so he just kinda abandons the whole thing and just walks back up the stairs. "I'm so pissed at that Lawler! If I see him in the next ten seconds or so, he's in real trouble!" ... "Meh, nevermind."  This girl gives Bret a full embrace and WWF security gets ready for another shovin', but luckily common sense prevails.  Awwwww..... <3 That's hecka nice Twenty-two minutes into a forty-seven minute show and this segment has finally ended. -----------------------  "ICOPRO! Snitches get stitches!" -----------------------  WWF SUMMERSLAM REPORT Summerslam will be taking place at the Palace of Auburn Hills in Michigan. You might know this arena as the place where the Detroit Pistons got into a fistfight with the Indiana Pacers and generated the absolute greatest name of anything ever, "The Malice at the Palace."  Mean Gene: "This Summerslam Report brought to you by the same ol' poor-quality jpeg of a Chevy truck!" Lex Luger "loves his new red, white, and blue Silverado." So he is actually driving the truck he won for slamming Yoko? Lol. Anything to get him off the Lex Express, I suppose.  Summerslam preview: - Lex vs Yokozuna in WWF Championship match. Jack Tunney has stipulated that Lex must again put a protective jimmy hat on his dangerous bionic forearm. - Bret will face Lawler in a grudge match. - Undertaker will face Giant Gonzalez, who is now reported to be 12 feet tall and weighing more than Buick Skylark. It's a "special rules" Rest in Peace match and "Only the Undertaker knows the rules, and he ain't talking!" I'd lodge a formal complaint if I were Gonzalez, since there's distinct possibility the secret rules will include "Undertaker gets a free elbow drop to his opponent's nutsack." But only to the beans. Can't target the johnson. -----------------------------  Back to "sports" "entertainment." Mr. Hughes is coming out to fight... *spins Wheel-O-Jobber*  This guy! Vince and Heenan discuss the fact that Whippleman and Hughes still have Undertaker's urn, but stress that Undertaker will get it back, because he will be fighting Giant Gonzales at SummerSlam. Wait, what? Shouldn't he be fighting Hughes for it? I mean, Whippleman manages them both, but still. Weird. Whatever.  Funeral flowers again delivered to ringside (this happened in a previous episode, too)   Greenberg is sufficiently squashed about four minutes later. Oh poo poo! Vince announces that Wrestlemania: The Album is available tomorrow in all K-Mart stores!!!1! Hot drat! I gotta get one before they're sold out!  "What the HELL is going on with these flowers???" *smash kick stomp* ------------------------  Footage of the release party of Wrestlemania:The Album. Only at K-Mart!  Good Lord! Tiny Tim! Again! Never would have thought he was wrestling royalty. -------------------------   Match #3 is the Smoking Gunns vs Team Gilberg, who duck and cover when the Gunns start firing their cap pistols recklessly into the audience. Macho Boy mumbles something about Wrestlemania: The Album available at K-Mart and Vince squawks "Macho Man Randy Savage [is] a recording star now?" THE PROPHECY MUST BE FULFILLED . . . . . . . . .  Have mercy on us all.  Back in 1993, Billy Gunn drops a kick  Several minutes later, the match continues to exist  Macho, Vince, and Heenan have a conversation that wanders aimlessly as the ongoing match forgets to end. Finally, Bart delivers a piledriver and the cowboys hussle off to the craft services table for some grub. ------------------   Promo package for Finland's own Ludvig Borga! Dolph Lundgren was unavailable to wrestle for the WWF I believe this is his first mention on Raw. "Next time I come out, and they play the Finnish national anthem, I want you to stand up! That's all I have to say to you!" snarls the evil, menacing villain. Geeze, I know the USSR is gone and the Nazis haven't come back yet, but really? This is the best villain we can get? Finland and all its scary reindeer and sousaphones and hummus or whatever? --------------------   Another promo (because why have wrestling, right?), this time with Express Lex. He mentions the powerful emotions he felt when he saw the Intrepid.  Oh, wait, he propbably meant the aircraft carrier. "The Lex Express has created such excitement all over this country." Cite your sources, Vince.  "Youse guys filmin' in here? I gots to clean the throw-up out of the aisles. How long until you done?" --------------------  ANOTHER promo, this time of Lex Luger's Call to Action Campaign. What call to action, you ask? "We need YOU, the FANS, to go to your nearest toy store and buy all the LEX LUGER merchandise you can!" ---------------------  Doink comes out with 7 minutes left in the program to face off against Phil Apollo. Wait, didn't Doink promise a surprise for Macho Boy? The suspense is KILLING ME. My SOUL IS EXITING MY FLESH.  I bet when you hear the name "Apollo," you don't imagine a doughy guy in a diaper with a wedgie.  Clown-belly-to-beer-belly-suplex  Bogus Adventure, I got your next avatar.  Comin' in hot! By the way, in the background you can see a clown with a blue wig and suitcoat that I assumed would come into play, but no, it's some random everyday clown, not a wrestling clown.  Following the match, Doink grabs the mic and asks Macho Boy to come into the ring so they can have a lil' chat.  Macho declines, so Doink comes down to the announce table instead. "No Macho Boy hee-uh" insists Savage.  Doink challenges Macho Boy to a match, but since the show ends in like two minutes, they reschedule for next week, and Doink promises Macho will see "triple vision."  "Let me tell you something! I'm doing this announcing thing because I want to do it, not because I have to do it!" lies Macho Man, being a big giant liar with his sparkly pants on fire. But still, he agrees to the match. Well, I'm sold! See you next week! ------------------------- Works Cited: Reynolds, R. D., and Randy Baer. WrestleCrap: The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling. Toronto, ECW Press, 2003, p. 32.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2022 02:07
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2022 02:10
|
|
|
So, if you're wondering why Nitro having wrestler vs wrestler matches all the time was considered such a big move...this show will demonstrate handily. Also, pretty sure Helen thought Lawler asked her how many kids she had, or got confused. She's a normal 69 year old woman up against one of the best heel talkers in the business, doubt any of us could do better. Also, for those not in the know, OSW are a group of people who review wrestling shows (big surprise, I am sure), and they noticed that Bret Hart used the second rope so much for his leaps and bumps and other things they eventually dubbed it "Bret's Rope."
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2022 03:46
|
|
|
YEEEEEEEES IT IS BACK
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2022 04:01
|
|
|
Thanks to this thread I decided to check out AEW tonight. I haven't watched wrestling since about '93, but it was ok. Not having a single clue who anyone was didn't help much, but the title match with Darby was fun. Also holy poo poo, how is Sting still a thing?
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2022 04:09
|
|
|
This was my first Raw Report and it was definitely an appreciated effort. Also, Tiny Tim's shirt/tie/jacket combo loving rules. Real Dan Flashes vibes
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2022 04:37
|
|
|
Fuckin Ricky lookin stoked to watch THE GREEN BASTARD FROM PARTS UNKNOWN wrestle. wesleywillis fucked around with this message at 05:22 on Feb 17, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2022 05:20
|
|
|
Glad to see Raw Reports are back!
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2022 05:37
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 29, 2024 14:12 |
|
|
Post more of the cats.
|
|
#
?
Feb 17, 2022 10:32
|
|
