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I am converting and now follow forklift Jesus May his grace lift your soul to an OSHA-approved height
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Feb 16, 2022 02:32
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Bad Munki posted:Joseph and Mary went to Bethlehem, her riding upon a pallet jack. The three operators following a star arrived bearing gifts. Propane, Counter weights, and Certifications.
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Feb 16, 2022 02:33
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Arivia posted:I mean, it's not that exciting. The thing is that it's public health advice for marginalized groups, it's excerpted from a pamphlet for people who are already engaging in risky promisicuous sex acts frequently (or were, pre-pandemic). Moralizing or saying you should just stop isn't gonna help anyone, so health advice like that is trying to mitigate and reduce harm as much as possible while acknowledging people are, were, and will be continuing to suck and gently caress all pandemic long. So it's a writeup of existing sex practices in the target audience and discussing which ones should be avoided/how to change things up to hopefully avoid infecting others (this was during Alpha with droplets being the mode of transmission). So...... the BC government IS ok with people eating rear end?
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Feb 16, 2022 02:34
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El Spamo posted:I am converting and now follow forklift Jesus The Lord is my Operator, I shall not want (a harness) Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no fuckling, for thou art certified. Thy forks and thy qualifications comfort me.
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Feb 16, 2022 02:35
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wesleywillis posted:So...... the BC government IS ok with people eating rear end? Yes. Just use a dental dam.
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Feb 16, 2022 02:36
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John 3:16 For god so loved the world that he certified his one and only son, that whoever forks with him shall not perish in a forklift accident, but have eternal employment. Psalms 1:41 Blessed is the certified one who does not walk in step with the un-certified or stand in the way that managers take or sit in the company of fucklers, Psalm 30:2 FORKLIFT my God, I called to you for help, and you LIFTED me. Psalm 111:10 The fear of the FORK is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his certifications have good understanding. To him belongs eternal raise. Psalm 8:3-4 3 When I consider your lifting height, the work of your fingers, the pallets and the boxes, which you have set in place, 4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you forklift for them? Psalm 3:2-6 2 Many are saying of me, “FORKS will not deliver him.” 3 But you, ROPS, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my loads high. 4 I call out to the OPERATOR, and he answers me from his holy mountain. 5 I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the FORKLIFT sustains me. 6 I will not fear though tens of thousands of pallets assail me on every side. wesleywillis fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Feb 16, 2022 |
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Feb 16, 2022 02:39
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Feb 16, 2022 02:54
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He looks to be more than 5 ft off the ground, where is his fall-arrest harness?
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Feb 16, 2022 03:00
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wheatpuppy posted:He looks to be more than 5 ft off the ground, where is his fall-arrest harness? wesleywillis posted:The Lord is my Operator, I shall not want (a harness)
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Feb 16, 2022 03:03
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Matthew 19:24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a refrigerated trailer to go through the D-ring of a pallet strap than for someone who is uncertified to enter the kingdom of God.”
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Feb 16, 2022 03:25
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(Ezekiel 34:11-24; John 10:1-21) 1OSHA is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2He maketh me to fork in abundant aisles: he leadeth me beside the clueless customers. 3He restoreth my certification: he leadeth me in the paths of righteous safety for his name's sake. 4Yea, though I roll through the loading bay of the shadow of gaylords, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy safety harness and carabiners, they comfort me. 5Thou preparest an open spot before me in the presence of mine management: thou anointest my mast rails with oil; my hydraulic reservoir runneth over. 6Surely posers and the non-certified shall follow me all the days of this shift: and I will dwell in the house of HOME DEPOT for ever.
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Feb 16, 2022 04:03
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wesleywillis posted:So...... the BC government IS ok with people eating rear end? Most governments are ok with their subjects eating rear end.
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Feb 16, 2022 04:37
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Jonny Nox posted:Most governments are ok with their subjects eating rear end. But you'd better PAY.
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Feb 16, 2022 04:43
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Hyster-Yale 25:17 The path of the certified man is beset on all sides by the inadequacies of the shelving and tiers of evil pallets Blessed is he who has the forklift certification and good will that shepherds the pallets and boxes through the aisles of warehouses for he is truly his work place's hero and the finder of lost packages And I will drop down upon thee from great heights and furious danger those who attempt to poison and destroy my warehouse And you will know I operate the FORKLIFT When I impale my forks through thee Muthafucka. wesleywillis fucked around with this message at 05:07 on Feb 16, 2022 |
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Feb 16, 2022 05:04
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Arivia posted:GLORY HOLES FOR EVERYONE 
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Feb 16, 2022 06:04
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Gabelstapler Khrist That's the best I got. Sorry.
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Feb 16, 2022 07:06
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And yea, he smacked them fuckers verily for not wearing helmets.
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Feb 16, 2022 07:51
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I love this thread so much.
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Feb 16, 2022 08:38
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What if God was certified
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Feb 16, 2022 08:47
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Could god make a forklift so radical even he couldn't get certed on it?
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Feb 16, 2022 09:28
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And when there was only one set of Airtrax ATX-3000 Omni-Directional wheelprints in the sand, that's when I was carrying you on the forks, which is not an OSHA approved method of transport, but Jesus was Certified for our sins and knows a few tricks.
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Feb 16, 2022 09:38
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I am reminded of Ezekiel 3:12: "Then the Spirit lifted me up, and I heard behind me a loud rumbling sound as the glory of the LORD rose from the place where it was standing."
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Feb 16, 2022 09:43
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Could God create a truck so sturdy even He couldn't fuckl it? A ship so huge even He couldn't avoid it? Scholtz fucked around with this message at 09:49 on Feb 16, 2022 |
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Feb 16, 2022 09:46
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Karate Bastard posted:What if God was certified on the job so qualified
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Feb 16, 2022 12:09
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"Lord, I prayed for your help during my journey but I still sheered off the top of my RV on the bottom of this bridge. Why did you let that happen to me?" "Did you not see the 11'8" signs? Did you not see the red light? Did you not see the large flashing sign that said 'OVER HEIGHT. MUST TURN.'? Nobody let this happen to you, dumbass."
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Feb 16, 2022 12:52
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Feb 16, 2022 13:28
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Karate Bastard posted:And yea, he smacked them fuckers verily for not wearing helmets. I recently learned that OSHA has religious exceptions for hard hats for Sikhs and Old Order Amish. https://www.osha.gov/enforcement/directives/std-01-06-005 quote:On October 30, 1978, OSHA Instruction STD 1-6.3, Exemption from Wearing Hard Hats, was issued. This instruction superseded Field Information Memorandum #75-11 dated February 4, 1975. The instruction provided an exemption from citations for hard hat violations for employers when their workers, who were members of the Old Order Amish or Sikh Dharma Brotherhood religious communities, failed to wear hard hats due to their personal religious convictions. I suppose a turban might provide some protection against blows to the head, if you were lucky.
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Feb 16, 2022 14:35
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 Bravo
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Feb 16, 2022 14:56
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Last couple pages are hilarious because I am forklift certified. But I lost my card years ago.
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Feb 16, 2022 15:00
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If you can't do this, don't even talk about being forklift certified. https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_r73pahaCbv1w5pr9j.mp4
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Feb 16, 2022 15:02
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... how many tries do i get?
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Feb 16, 2022 15:15
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loving amazing
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Feb 16, 2022 15:19
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:I think we've been over this before but crosswalks are a thing for a reason, they're helpful to both pedestrians and motorists. There's no reason one has to unduly suffer at the expense of the other. If you have to jaywalk to get across a street without taking another 15 minutes to get to a suitable crosswalk, you're the victim and the city planners are the criminals. If you're trying to cross a busy street with crosswalks 15 feet away from you, you're an rear end in a top hat, probably putting others at risk too.
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Feb 16, 2022 16:21
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lmfao
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Feb 16, 2022 16:24
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evil_bunnY posted:I'll cross wherever I loving please and if you don't yield I'll kick the side of your loving car lol. This is the way to walk, everyone needs to do this until we've taken the streets back
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Feb 16, 2022 17:04
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Doctor Butts posted:Last couple pages are hilarious because I am forklift certified. it's not lost, just awaiting you in the great stacks of the beyond
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Feb 16, 2022 17:08
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evil_bunnY posted:I'll cross wherever I loving please and if you don't yield I'll kick the side of your loving car lol. *crosses during a green light in full traffic, shouting and shaking fist at every incredulous driver*
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Feb 16, 2022 17:09
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evil_bunnY posted:I'll cross wherever I loving please and if you don't yield I'll kick the side of your loving car lol. Man is surprised to be run over right after he says "What are you gonna do, run me over?"
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Feb 16, 2022 17:16
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I was waiting to cross a highway in downtown Chicago with a bunch of other people who looked like tourists or professionals. a hardscrabble kind of guy walked up, looked at us and said "pfff... you don't have to wait," and without pausing waded out into 4 lanes of fairly heavy traffic moving at maybe 45ish mph (75ish kph). he didn't dodge or get hit or so much as get honked at, though he did keep a hard stare towards traffic. it was incredibly impressive to watch, almost beautiful.
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Feb 16, 2022 17:45
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