r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for bringing my daughter to family only events?

AITA For Calling Off My Wedding Because My Fiance Doesb't Want My Kids There?

quote:

I (38F) was recently proposed to by my fiance Carlos (40M). We have been planning our wedding for 4 months, and our big day was supposed to be in three weeks time.

Just over a week ago, I saw on our guest list that my kids, Madison (18F), my son Ethan (15M) and my youngest Isabella (10F) were not on the guest list. I immediately confronted my soon to be husband, and he simply stated that it was a kids-only wedding, which we had never talked about or agreed to.

As you can imagine I was annoyed and asked him what in the world he was talking about. I had been under the impression that my kids were allowed to come, and that my ex-husband would be dropping them off. I and he are close still, but understandably he isn�t coming to our wedding as we all agreed it would be awkward.

As it turned out everyone was aware of this, including my parents and bridesmaids. They had all assumed I was the one who decided this, which explained why they had been acting rather distant from me lately, especially my sister, who was my maid of honour, who was salty that she couldn�t bring her kids.

He said he thought I knew, which was a reason I refused to accept. I asked him why he wanted no kids, and he explained to me that kids are apparently annoying, and he didn�t think they would be comfortable at the after-party, where there would be a lot of drinking, even though I don�t even drink. I explained to him, slowly, that my eldest was an adult, who is legally able to drink, so she�d be fine, and that my youngest two were only coming to the lunch, not the dinner.

He then complained that they were immature still and that he wanted to feel comfortable with me without �judgement from my kids.�

I went to speak to my kids, and when they heard my fiance didn�t want them to come, they got very upset, especially Maddie. She claimed that since she wasn�t even a child she should be allowed to come, and at the lunch it�s not like my husband and I are going to be expected to look after them, which is what she could be doing if it would allow them to come.

I ended up saying all this to my husband, but still he wanted no kids, there, and even went as far to say that if it were up to him there would be no kids in our relationship. I was so confused. I knew he didn�t exactly have a bond with the kids, but not even wanting them was a step over the line for me. We got into a large argument, and he said it marriage wasn�t about my kids, but our shared love for each other, and if I couldn�t see that then I wasn�t being reasonable, and should rethink my actions towards him. In frustration, I told him that my kids are more important to me than he would ever be, and that if they weren�t there, I wouldn�t be either. He said fine, so I yelled at him the wedding was off.

His family is annoyed at me as they flew all the way over to see this wedding, and most people are calling me selfish and an rear end in a top hat.

Am I the rear end in a top hat in this situation?

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:10

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 00:06

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Hughlander posted:

AITA For Calling Off My Wedding Because My Fiance Doesb't Want My Kids There?

Who the hell proposes marriage to someone with kids when they don't want kids? WTF?!

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:13

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

And why has his family "flew all the way over to see this wedding" when the guest list isn't even done? The time line is very confusing.

Also, this is all you need to know: "if it were up to him there would be no kids in our relationship"

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:17

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Hughlander posted:

AITA For Calling Off My Wedding Because My Fiance Doesb't Want My Kids There?

I don't understand ones like this. Like, "My soon-to-be husband excluded my kids from our wedding and told me he didn't even want them, am I in the wrong?"
I just can't imagine a situation where the reaction isn't to instantly leave and sever all communication beyond whatever's needed to kill off that relationship, to say nothing of getting pretty much right up to the wedding without seeing that coming.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:19

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Motronic posted:

And why has his family "flew all the way over to see this wedding" when the guest list isn't even done? The time line is very confusing.

Also, this is all you need to know: "if it were up to him there would be no kids in our relationship"

Apparently the family flew up to stay for THREE WEEKS as a holiday.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:19

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

"I'm afraid it's medical research for the lot of you!"

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:23

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

teen witch posted:

AITA for telling my STEM friend that I�m going to make more money than him?

Nobody's particularly looking for pure maths majors either. Employers want a specific letter from STEM and it's not M.

Meanwhile, my degree is in history and I've been an embedded C++ programmer for a quarter century now :shrug:

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:39

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Hughlander posted:

AITA For Calling Off My Wedding Because My Fiance Doesb't Want My Kids There?

I immediately confronted my soon to be husband, and he simply stated that it was a kids-only wedding, which we had never talked about or agreed to.

This confused me for way longer than it should have.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:41

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

teen witch posted:

ranch and sesame oil is a combo that is making me queasy alone. and then you add in old bay??? Why

yuck

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:46

Combo: Aug 19, 2003

Hughlander posted:

AITA For Calling Off My Wedding Because My Fiance Doesb't Want My Kids There?

How do you get this far into a relationship with someone who clearly doesn't want kids and doesn't like your kids? Just ignore it and hope it goes away or something?

Why are you marrying someone who in your own words didn't have any bond with the kids at all?

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:51

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Because you're desperate. Maybe desperately lonely, maybe dire financial straits.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:57

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

teen witch posted:

ranch and sesame oil is a combo that is making me queasy alone. and then you add in old bay??? Why

I really want someone to try making this recipe, but it can't be me because I've hated ranch my entire life. From the salad dressing to the Doritos, can't do it.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 21:57

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Hughlander posted:

AITA For Calling Off My Wedding Because My Fiance Doesb't Want My Kids There?

quote:

he simply stated that it was a kids-only wedding

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Who the hell proposes marriage to someone with kids when they don't want kids? WTF?!

Lots of people. It's why evil stepparent is a timeless and universal archetype. The mirror of "give me your child!", "get rid of your child!" They often try to send children to boarding school or feed them to monsters in movies where the hero is a dog.

Captain Hygiene posted:

I don't understand ones like this. Like, "My soon-to-be husband excluded my kids from our wedding and told me he didn't even want them, am I in the wrong?"
I just can't imagine a situation where the reaction isn't to instantly leave and sever all communication beyond whatever's needed to kill off that relationship, to say nothing of getting pretty much right up to the wedding without seeing that coming.

Lots of people simply have no thoughts at all and drift through their lives on automatic reflex, like tsetse flies or jellyfish, going through whole courtships without ever discussing anything of substance, such as whether their partner believes certain groups are undeserving of human rights, their feelings on children, pet ownership, or rear end hygiene and then acting surprised when this stranger who they've spent months or years with reveals some kind of deal breaking behavior.

Sometimes, this person is oblivious and missed warning signs that would be obvious to a smarter person. Sometimes, their partner was actively masking their bad behaviors until they felt comfortable enough to relax and reveal their true natures. Sometimes they gently caress up and start talking in the evil voice before they have successfully had children with their partners, gotten their name on the lease, etc. Then we all point and laugh.

Combo posted:

How do you get this far into a relationship with someone who clearly doesn't want kids and doesn't like your kids? Just ignore it and hope it goes away or something?

Why are you marrying someone who in your own words didn't have any bond with the kids at all?

Because she doesn't care about her kids' well-being that much, thinks she can chaaaaaange him or possibly a mixture of both.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 22:17

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Combo posted:

How do you get this far into a relationship with someone who clearly doesn't want kids and doesn't like your kids? Just ignore it and hope it goes away or something?

Why are you marrying someone who in your own words didn't have any bond with the kids at all?

Comments suggests he hid his problems and that she thought it was a "They're not small children and feel weird about having a different person as dad in their life" extremely normal kind of blended family situation. He's never outright treated them badly, they just haven't become attached to him.

Like the kids didn't even know he was the one who kicked them out of the wedding, he was actually trying to hide it. Mask just came off before the wedding.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 22:21

TyrsHTML: May 13, 2004

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not letting MIL meet her first grandchild?

July 2021 we had our son. We got a DNA test done because it really bothered me what she had said and honestly I knew if I didn't she would never drop it. Husband told me I was crazy but we got one done. Once we got the results I put it in a pretty box with glitter, cute tissue paper, and chocolates that I knew she didn't like. And had it delivered to her house as a birth announcement. Her and I ended up in an argument with her saying everything was my fault.

As far as I can tell its drat hard with normal paternity testing to differentiate between brothers or fathers and sons, so really she proved nothing. MIL can still gently caress off though.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 22:56

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for telling my friend to "gently caress off"

quote:

I (28f) resently broke up with my bf and feel really bad about it. My friend (35f) is getting married and I was really looking forward to her wedding. I was really happy that one of us found her soulmate. Her wedding is in a month and I was getting worried for not getting an invitation because I wanted to book my flight and a hotel and I don't know where exactly the wedding was. Yesterday I brought it up. My friend said she was sorry but she is not inviting me to the wedding because they want just couples at their wedding and no singles. They think that wedding are not for single people and they want to spend the day with their friends that know what a wedding is about - true love. I got really angry, told her to gently caress off and she is not my friend anymore and hung up. So today her mom called my mom to tell her that my friend is really upset and I am being unreasonable.

AITA?

# ? Feb 18, 2022 23:15

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

nor does it run on the cats life energy like in an anime.

Is this possible? Would a small thermocouple on a mammal provide enough electricity to power a GPS device?

# ? Feb 18, 2022 23:18

ChickenDoodle: Oct 22, 2020

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my friend to "gently caress off"

Should�ve bought her one of those kitschy acid vats off the register.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 23:18

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Is this possible? Would a small thermocouple on a mammal provide enough electricity to power a GPS device?

It's a GPS device and a transmitter loud enough to reach your search device. That's a decent chunk of power.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 23:22

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my friend to "gently caress off"

If a wedding is only about "true love" and the ability to experience it doesn't that mean any not married couples and divorcees should also be barred from attending since they've never "experienced" a wedding or "betrayed" their vows?

I'm sure he actual reasoning has something to do with pictures looking bad but the logic is so bizarre.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 23:25

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Imagine being 35, getting in a fight with your friend, and getting your mom involved. Jesus Christ.

# ? Feb 18, 2022 23:27

ScienceSeagull: May 17, 2021; Figure 1 Smart birds.

The Lone Badger posted:

It's a GPS device and a transmitter loud enough to reach your search device. That's a decent chunk of power.

Cats have nine lives, they should have more than enough life energy to spare. I think it'd work better with a ferret, though.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:10

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for telling my husband that his culture is garbage and I won't "compromise" by incorporating it into our family life?

Give him some northern hospitality that he can't refuse.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:19

Traxus IV: Sep 11, 2001; it's our time now
let's get this shit started

Grape posted:

Give him some northern hospitality that he can't refuse.

The ol' wood chipper surprise

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:23

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Hellblazer187 posted:

Imagine being 35, getting in a fight with your friend, and getting your mom involved. Jesus Christ.

Werner Heisenberg was being bullied by Reinhard Heydrich and so he called his mom and asked her to talk to Reinhard's mom who then called Reinhard and told him to knock it off. He was in his 40s.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:28

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for telling my husband that his culture is garbage and I won't "compromise" by incorporating it into our family life?

Pro-click with sound
https://i.imgur.com/q2uNFFp.mp4

https://cwhumor.blogspot.com/2014/01/uncle-billys-atlanta-style-bbq.html

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:30

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for getting a belly button piercing without discussing it with my boyfriend first?

quote:

I (22F) started regularly working out 9 months ago. It's honestly been a life-changing decision, I've never felt happier, healthier and more self-confident than I do now. Thanks to me hitting the gym so frequently, I naturally ended up with a toned stomach and some nice abs. Ever since this happened, I started finding belly button piercings very appealing because, in my opinion, they really make a hot abdomen pop. The thought of getting one has always been in the back of my mind but I just never got around to actually doing it for various reasons.

A week ago, one of my best friends told me that she was making an appointment to get her tongue pierced by an extremely reputable local body piercer. Impulsively, I immediately said, alright, this is finally the right time, get me a reservation as well. I didn't tell my boyfriend (25M) anything 'cause I figured surprising him would be way more fun.

A couple of days ago, I succeeded in getting my belly button pierced at last after such a long time. I'm absolutely in love with it. When I revealed my new accessory to my boyfriend he got very mad though. He berated me by saying that this is a "slutty piercing" and I should've consulted him about it beforehand. He also asked me to take if off but I firmly told him no way. After that went down he began giving me the cold shoulder and continues to do so 'till this day.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:31

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for disrespecting my inlaws and leaving dinner table after my husband's dad insulted me?

quote:

Last night I had my inlaws visit, made them dinner and put it on the table while I had my own dinner which was a youghurt and salad because I'd gained few pounds and my husband pushed for me to lose some.

Anyway, We were all sitting eating when my husband's dad asked what I was eating. I told him a salad, with a confused look on his face he said "A SALAD??? That ain't gon' fill up your fat rear end!!!". suddenly, some of my inlaws started giggling and my husband did too. I felt upset and humiliated. I got up from my seat and went to stay in my room til my inlaws left. My husband barged in asking why the hell I left my guests by themselves. I told him his dad insulted me and made me a joke infront of everyone. He said that I was being too sensetive and too self catious and that didn't warrant leaving the table and disrespecting his family. I argued that he should have defended me instead of laughing along but he insisted it was just a joke and I should "chill" and then said that he's not a lawyer or a police officer so I should quit expecting him to get involved in every disagreement I have since I'm an adult.

We kept on arguing and he said that I disrespected hos family by leaving the dinner table and hiding in my room like I was a child when I could've just chilled and kept my cool. My mother in law sent a long wall of text about how inappropriate my behavior was.

He may be right in that I messed up and was being a bit too sensetive since this is just how my father in law is, honest and straightforward even with his jokes. AITA? could it be that I overreacted?

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:37

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Is this possible? Would a small thermocouple on a mammal provide enough electricity to power a GPS device?

only if the cat has learned to properly harness its qi

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:45

nunsexmonkrock: Apr 13, 2008

ScienceSeagull posted:

Cats have nine lives, they should have more than enough life energy to spare. I think it'd work better with a ferret, though.

Lol don't let their bouncing fool you, they sleep like 20 hours a day.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:51

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Mx. posted:

AITA for disrespecting my inlaws and leaving dinner table after my husband's dad insulted me?

People for whom disrespect is a thing that matters.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:55

sugar mouse: Oct 17, 2006

Mx. posted:

AITA for disrespecting my inlaws and leaving dinner table after my husband's dad insulted me?

Gonna need something even worse than the acid vat this time.

gently caress I just wanna give OP a hug.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:57

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Mx. posted:

AITA for disrespecting my inlaws and leaving dinner table after my husband's dad insulted me?

"this is just how my father in law is, honest and straightforward"

You mean A$$hole honey

# ? Feb 19, 2022 00:58

edgeman83: Jul 13, 2003

Pope Corky the IX posted:

This confused me for way longer than it should have.

People mistyping the most critical parts of sentences drives me nuts. In this situation it is fairly obvious, but it isn't uncommon that I have been confused when the mistyping could drastically change how I interpret the sentence.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 01:05

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Mx. posted:

AITA for disrespecting my inlaws and leaving dinner table after my husband's dad insulted me?

I hate she didn't throw her husband under the bus and tell the FIL "I'm eating a salad because your son thinks my rear end is already too fat."

Edit: I think I might have misread the insult.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 01:10

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

she should definitely throw her husband under a literal bus though

# ? Feb 19, 2022 01:13

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for Unintentionally nearly ruining my niece's baby shower?

quote:

My older sister (8 years my senior) was a divorced, single mom raising 3 kids on her own. When I was 25 and newly married, my eldest niece started getting into fights, trouble at school and some with the law. My sister asked if her daughter could come and spend the summer with my husband and I. We didn't have children yet, and felt it would be good because as a teacher, I had summers off and could give my niece lots of attention. At the end of summer, my sister asked if we could keep her until the new year. We said yes, and she gave us temporary guardianship so we could enroll her in school in our state. Well, months turned into years, and suddenly 5 years passed, and my niece graduated HS and went off to UNI. While she lived with us, we never asked my sister for any money, as I knew she was struggling. We even paid for the portion of college her scholarships didn't cover. However, sis lied and told family members that I demanded money from her constantly. So, because of this and a few other thing, I went NC with my sister.

10 years later and my niece is expecting her first child. Her mom begs to give her the baby shower, and my niece agrees, but warns her that I had better be invited. 2 weeks ago, my niece calls and asks me when I would be there. I explained that I wasn't sure what she meant. She then realized I had not been invited, and she lost it. She started screaming at her mom, and walked out of the shower. I managed to calm her down, and talked her into going back in, explaining that everyone there was there for her, and she shouldn't make them pay for what her mom did. She did go back in, and enjoyed herself, but didn't and hasn't spoken to mom.

Well, my niece gave birth this past monday (yes a Valentines baby), and got home on Wednesday. She is still very angry at her mom, and is not letting her come to baby. I talked to my niece and tried to get her to allow her mom to see the baby. But, my niece said no. She told her mom she can see my granddaughter (meaning me) after I have seen her, and have gotten to spend time with her. I live about 800 miles away, and won't be able to make it to her until school lets put for spring break in April, and I kind of feel bad for my sister having to wait that long.

Now, my sister and other family members are accusing me of nearly ruining the baby shower, and causing my niece to stop talking to her mom. They say I should have lied and told my niece I wasn't feeling well, or something, then delt with everything after. I let them know that I absolutely would not have lied to my niece. I told them the one they should be upset at is my sister, as she was the one that ruined the day for my niece. I am a terrible liar, and don't think quick on things, and my niece would have known that outside of death, being in the hospital, or a natural disaster, I would not have missed her shower.

So, yeah reddit, was I TA, by not lying to my niece, and waiting until after the shower to let her know I wasn't invited?

The niece knows who her real mom is, if only the OP would realize it.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 01:15

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for getting a belly button piercing without discussing it with my boyfriend first?

OP should immediately start loving everything that moves

# ? Feb 19, 2022 01:17

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

It's amazing how vulnerable we all are to the majority opinion of our little bubbles. "Hi my father in law chases me around the house trying to stab me with a large knife ever time he comes over. My husband says that's just how he is and that I need to just learn to dodge and keep out of stabbing distance. Yesterday I hurt my foot and didn't feel like running away from a knife wielding maniac so I didn't let my FIL come over. Now my extended family are all calling me and saying I was incredibly rude. My husband won't talk to me until I let my FIL get at least one good stab in as an apology, I think this is unfair but everyone's probably right that I could have been more polite about it, am I the rear end in a top hat??"

Like so long as enough people around you say you are being disrespectful for not wanting to be stabbed, you'll believe it at least have enough doubt in your head to feel conflicted over not wanting to be stabbed.

# ? Feb 19, 2022 01:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 00:06

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

AITA for refusing to financially help my family after they abandoned me even if it means they�ll end up homeless?

quote:

throwawayaita1583
I feel like this is such a clich� reddit story but I�m really struggling with what to do here so..

I am my mother�s oldest biological child. When I was 5 my father passed away and she remarried my step-�dad� when I was 8. When I was 9 I was sent away to live with my father�s sister who lived states away because her husband didn�t want me to live there anymore. They used to pay my aunt some money to watch me but when I was 14 that stopped. My aunt and uncle worked low paying jobs and had two of their own children, so they really couldn�t afford the extra expense of having me around without that help. Despite that, they let me stay and continued to treat me like one of their own. I very rarely saw my mom, I think I saw her 5 times between 9 and 18. She never even called. She went on to have three more children (19M, 18F and 16M) with my stepdad.

Growing up I used to stalk my siblings and parents on social media to see what their life was like and it was polar opposite to mine. They regularly went on expensive vacations, lived in a massive house and owned the latest gadgets, etc.

I went to college and got married at 23. My mother/siblings have no idea I�m married. I�m currently 28 and doing well financially. My husband and I own our own home, we have several very profitable investments and work high paying jobs. My cousins (30F and 27F) and I all contributed to help my aunt/uncle to finally purchase their own home last year.

Recently, my mom showed up to my aunt�s house begging for financial help. Apparently, my stepdad suffered from a gambling addiction a few years ago and lost all their savings. Now with COVID he�s lost his job and they can�t afford to keep their house without help. My aunt explained she didn�t have any money to help her and when my mother demanded to know how she could afford her new house if she had no money, she explained what me and my cousins had done. My mom then asked for my number.

When she called me and explained the situation. I told her I couldn�t help. She kept begging me and claimed my siblings would be made homeless if I didn�t help them. I told her maybe she should sell some of their fancy stuff or they could all get jobs like my cousins and I had to. I hung up before she could reply.

Since then I have been receiving message after message from my mom, my siblings and even my stepdad begging me for help. I have NEVER spoken to my siblings in my life. They�ve begun harassing my husband and my SIL. They�ve also reached out to my aunt and cousins multiple times trying to get them to convince me to change my mind.

I�m SO angry with them all. They threw me away and when they need something, they come crawling back? But the guilt is also starting to set in an I don�t know if I�m being an rear end in a top hat. Am I?

# ? Feb 19, 2022 01:21

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »