quote:

My step sister Amanda (43) is one of those people who complain about everything. She tries to get discounted on all food. She’s 20 years older than us and seems to have an issue with everyone. My step mom Kathy birthday was last week and Amanda ordered her steak medium rare. She send one back because it’s too done. She’s sends the second steak back for the same thing. Kathy is getting mad and tells het to stop acting like her father.

Amanda said he dad “taught her that is she wanted a properly cooled rare steak she should order in medium rare” WTF is that kind of logic. Kathy agreed and bluntly told her daughter that this is the same poo poo she divorced her over. 3rd steak comes out too over cooked and I finally tell the server the stupid game Amanda was playing. He told the manager and the manager said Amanda had to pay for all three steaks. My dad was treating everyone because of Kathy’s birthday. He told Amanda he’s not paying for her steaks and next time she wants to play games with the servers to stay loving home.

Amanda starts crying because she doesn’t have the money for the meal but the manager takes my dad’s payment for the rest of the food other than her 3 steaks.
We all start to leave but Amanda who’s called both her boyfriend and dad to venmo money. Amanda yells at me saying I was a bitch for telling server that. She has now posted online that we cost her a bunch of money and her stepdad and step siblings are evil. She’s blaming me because she out almost $200 because of her stunt.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Husband's Best Female Friend Does Not Understand Boundaries


I think husband and V absolutely have a history he isn't telling OP about.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for telling the servers what my step sister said about steaks?


who does that poo poo?

Hughlander posted:

AITA for telling the servers what my step sister said about steaks?


who does that poo poo?

Hughlander posted:

AITA for telling the servers what my step sister said about steaks?


who does that poo poo?

Elissimpark posted:

That makes no sense at all! Maybe if you ordered blue or rare, you'd get the next step up from a cautious kitchen.

Also, you think after the first steak, you'd realise the 'trick' ain't working.

quote:

I am in a really tense situation with my husband of three years. I feel that it could have been resolved so quickly if he just apologized about this but instead he keeps doubling down. And I am really lost at this point.

It started over the weekend when I was using his phone (he has the newest iPhone) to take pictures of our apartment. When I was sending the photos to my email I saw the tik toks. They were of my younger sister, she uploaded videos of her breast feeding. In the video her breasts and face are completely visible. If you are asking why she uploads videos like that, I have told her it wasn't the best idea but she doesn't care and that she is supporting women's right to breast feed.

I was mad with my husband, i confronted him asking him why does he have these videos saved. He is like what's wrong with them? He starts saying that my sister uploaded these videos to a public platform and there is nothing wrong with saving them. I am like are you attracted to her? He is like no, he finds it interesting. He said that he isn't attracted to Oprah but if there was a video of her breastfeeding he would download it too.

He then starts bringing up that when I went to Vegas I went to the Thunder Down Under show (this was a bachelorette party (not mine)) and says that is way worse since that was in person. I was like no I went with my friends but that its not fair to bring it up now, it was a while back and that he is distracting from our situation at hand. He says that I had no business looking through his phone in the first place, that he shares his location with me, that I have the passcode and password to all of his devices and accounts. That I invaded his privacy. I was like this isn't about you cheating its about you creeping on my sister. He says that breast feeding isn't something to creep on. And that i am making this weird because I am the one sexualizing my sister. He says that I need to just stop, that my reaction to this is the biggest problem.

I don't know what to do here, I feel really uncomfortable about this whole situation. I feel that if I talk to anyone about this for advice, it would damage my husband's reputation permanently. am i making too big of a deal of this situation? Like should I just drop it? I don't want things to get worse for us. we have already been in a tense place since my husband lost a lot of money on tech stocks.

tl;dr- I found videos of my younger sister on my Husband's camera roll. He doesn't think he did anything wrong here.

Foo Diddley posted:

ooo, there's an UPDATE from honest guy already

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Title, please?

Foo Diddley posted:

"AITA for honestly telling my GF what I would change about her?", it's up a little bit on the same page as that post

quote:

My mom (47F) has raised me (20F) and my brother (18M) as a single parent for about 15 years. Our dad was not the greatest - he was okay as a dad (although not the most warm and attentive) but a pretty bad husband (which he admits himself). After having a bunch of affairs he finally left for someone else and then we were mostly with Mom with some weekends at our dad's house.

As I said, Dad wasn't great but Mom has been...a stellar mom. Incredibly warm and loving, generous, kind, and seemingly devoted to my brother and me, all while holding down a high-level job and being a "pillar of the community" sort. After the divorce Dad had this long parade of girlfriends who were always around (he would try to introduce them to my brother and me after just a few dates), which was pretty upsetting and confusing especially when we were younger. On the other hand, Mom never brought men home to meet us and never has to this day.

While cleaning out our storage area this past weekend, I came across as box that had some handwritten journals of Mom's from a range of about 10-12 years ago. I know I shouldn't have snooped but...I did read them...and I was so shocked and horrified. The journals describe her dating and hooking up with various men. And drinking and even smoking weed from time to time. Looking at the dates this was all at times when Mom didn't have us (when we were with our dad, grandma, etc. for a night or weekend).

So basically she was living a double life. Pretending to be super matronly and wholesome while actually out banging a bunch of different dudes every chance she got. I confronted her and she gave a half-assed apology - saying she was sorry I had to see the journals but that single adults do date/have sex with other single adults, that she only did it on days when we had other care because she didn't want to bring strange men around us, and she never wanted to take the time away from us that a "real" relationship would take. Still a pathetic excuse if you ask me...this is my MOM! How could she do this to my brother and me? Everything I know and trust has been shattered.

So I called my grandma and aunt and told them because I don't think it's fair that Mom just gets away with acting this way. Grandma said I could stay with her as long as needed and my aunt cut ties with Mom (they are both very conservative and think sex should be saved for marriage - as I do). However, my friends are saying I am an AH for getting into my mom's private business that has nothing to do with me.

So AITA for exposing my mom's double life where she was sleeping around despite her wholesome image?

quote:

Trust me I KNOW this sounds ridiculous and if it wasn’t happening to me I wouldn’t believe it either.

So I work in childcare and recently we enrolled a new baby named Vriska.

Now we are encouraged to build a rapport with the parents and to talk about them about shared interests whenever possible, so I often talk to some parents about nerdy things or others about fashion and make up etc.

When I meet the mother for a pick up I told her how cool it was that her child was named Vriska (even though I personally don’t think it’s cool to name your children after your fandoms but I wasn’t about to say that) and told her that I also loved Homestuck thinking it would be a quick way to build rapport.

The mother looked genuinely confused and asked me what Homestuck was so I told her it was a comic and one of the characters was called Vriska but sensing the awkward air I quickly said “oh nevermind! It’s probably a coincidence don’t mind me haha!” but I was confused because I’m sure the name Vriska didn’t exist before Homestuck. She proceeded to tell me that Vriska was a cute original name her husband came up with from the word ‘Vrishchika’ which is Hindi for Scorpio but that’s also straight up Homestuck Vriska’s name origin. Apparently he went so far as to create a fake paper trail of his research and showed her books and sites on the word Vrishchika so she’d believe him without looking into it.

She’s one of those crystals and astrology types, and was gushing about how thoughtful he was because he’s not into her beliefs and that he thinks they’re stupid so it was such a sweet gesture for him to go into so much trouble researching a name that aligned with her beliefs and I’m just nodding along politely because I’m internally losing my mind.

Long story short she came back to pull baby Vriska out of the program because she’s moving in with her parents and personally thanked me because she googled Vriska and got her now ex to fess up the whole truth and basically that he REALLY loved character Vriska and that she didn’t know about it because that love was of the uuuuh ‘waifu’ love rather then the ‘I relate to this character’ love so as you can imagine she was furious and decided to leave her husband for lying to her, among other things.

I’m honestly guilt ridden that I directly shattered a marriage and now baby Vriska will suffer because of this, which is why I think I could be the a-hole, I don’t know the whole story, maybe he’s a really good father? But I also think maybe I’m not the a-hole because who wants a husband who quite frankly sounds manipulative and insane.

I’m torn over this because my friends think I did the mother a favour but my family and coworkers can’t believe I broke a marriage over a simple name.

So reddit, what’s my verdict?

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for exposing my mom's double life?

quote:

But she chose to have us - shouldn't we come first? Shouldn't she have thought about how her choices might impact us if we ever found out?

quote:

But my dad was always open about it. Which meant I knew the real him and could understand him accordingly. Mom...I just feel like I don't even really know her now.

quote:

It just makes me feel like my brother and me weren't enough. Like as soon as our backs were turned she was getting it on with different dudes which doesn't match with anything I had previously seen about her character. And I just think that kind of duplicity needs to be exposed because it's not fair for her to just get away with it with no consequences.

quote:

But that's different, she and my dad were married at the time. It's just disgusting to think about my mom sleeping with lots of different guys. It's like the minute we were out of the house she was planning her next hookup.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for exposing my mom's double life?

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for exposing my mom's double life?

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I get that the entire extrended family sucks poo poo, but I am still floored that this loving and attentive cool lady managed to raise two absolutely garbage kids

E: sorry, one garbage kid. The brother's opinion is curiously absent, he could be cool.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

limp_cheese posted:

Dude wants to talk about (its obvious show too) his penis with a woman he says was his biggest crush and that he admits he still has feelings for. I'll bet his "friend" doesn't know about the OP.

Lol at his rationale of "I am so insecure about the size of my small penis I need to talk about it with whatever women will listen, to help with my self esteem and being with someone isn't enough."

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for exposing my mom's double life?

The Glumslinger posted:

AITA for accidentally revealing that someone’s husband named their baby after a Homestuck character which directly resulted in their pending divorce

kimbo305 posted:

Thought it read Homestar and was super loving pumped to find out which character.

Invisible Clergy posted:

While people in monogamous intimate relationships should be allowed friends of any gender, it seems like cishet couples where one of them has a "best friend" of the opposite gender are pretty much always a red flag exactly like this post, doesn't it?

Mr. Lobe posted:

Man this girl suuuuucks

How did such a nice and interesting lady raise such a dreadful square

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Homsar, clearly

quote:

My (24f) sister (28f) found she was pregnant 5 months ago. Recently, she and her husband (31m) announced that they were having a girl and had finally decided on a baby name. Chewbecca.

I was more than a bit shocked, even more so when I found out that the name was the product of a long discussion and compromise between them.

Sister wanted to name their daughter after our late grandmother, Rebecca. BIL, who's obsessed with Star Wars, wanted to use a name from the movies. Before they knew they were having a girl, he wanted a son to name Chewie, which I still think is a bit odd, but it's not unheard of so whatever.

The problem is that he got attached to the name. Even after they found out they were having a girl, he didn't want to look for a female or gender neutral Star Wars name, he still wanted Chewie.

This is where it gets dumb. After arguing over it for a while, debating using one as a middle name, and sister pushing for BIL to choose a different name from the series, they somehow decided the best compromise would be to just mash the names together.

When I asked my sister why she would agree to something so stupid, she got annoyed and told me it's not like anyone would ever call her that. They'll use her nickname. Becca.

I told her not to name her daughter Chewbecca and that she'll probably get bullied for having a name that sounds like a dog's name. She got mad and said her daughter is not a dog--which, obviously--and that what she named her child was none of my business.

She asked me to leave if I was just going to badmouth her daughter. I told her I wasn't; I was just concerned about my niece getting bullied for having a stupid name.

I think I did the right thing bringing up my concerns, but when I got home that night, I got a call from our mom telling me to drop it. She didn't like the name either, but said it wasn't our business and that my sister was right about just calling her Becca.

I think both my mom and sister think the whole nickname thing is a clever way of getting around BIL to get the name they actually want, but what if he insists on his side of the family use the nickname Chewie?

But I don't know. Maybe the Becca thing will work? I know I'm sticking my nose in where it isn't wanted, but is it a bad thing to bring up the future problems of having the name Chewbecca, or am I really overstepping?

AITA?

Kurieg posted:

AITA for saying "Welcome to our world" to my FIL who just lost his job

quote:

Back in 2011, I answered a letter from someone who worried her parents’ advice was ruining her job search. They were recommending things like visiting managers in-person every day to check on her applications, and to call when managers seemed annoyed by the in-person visits. Here’s the update.

quote:

Sometimes when work is slow, I like to hit “Surprise Me” on your website, and I was truly surprised when I came across a question I had sent in over eight years ago. I remembered that I had emailed you, exasperated with my parents’ advice, and you had responded. I felt so validated and reassured by what you said.

At the time, I was 18 and this was the summer between my first and second year of college. I didn’t explain this in the original email, but I suffered from severe social and generalized anxiety and this entire experience was mortifying for me. Whenever I’m back home and drive by that coffee shop, I cringe. I’ve gone through years of therapy and am a completely different animal now but I don’t think I can ever bring myself to go back inside that building. What if they remember me?

(I did, funnily enough, become a barista later on. But I was a liberal arts major and that was my fate.)

A few years after the incident I had emailed about, my parents relocated for my father’s work. My mother then got to experience, firsthand, the “joys” of modern job hunting. I had to show her how to make a resume, how to turn it into a PDF, and how to upload it, and reassure her that yes, even though you just uploaded that PDF you now have to retype all of that information again. She had relocated to the other side of the country, and had no network or any modern tools one uses to get a job nowadays. She didn’t even bother to check to see what the process was to transfer her nursing licenses, and spent months unemployed while that was getting figured out. I think she just thought she could walk into a hospital and get a job, just like she had in the 90s. Experiencing their bad advice firsthand ended most of their vintage notions.

I’m now newly 27. Your advice was to trust my instincts, and I have. I worked a myriad of odd jobs during and after college, and kind of flitted around trying to figure myself out. My parents offered lots of advice for what I should do, and I have done none of it.

After settling into an office job a few years ago, I just accepted a position as an office manager, which will come with a 25% raise. A great thing to get right before my wedding this winter! I read up your posts on negotiating salary and vacation time, and interviewing. You’ve been a resource for me for almost a decade now.

Thank you for the validation you gave my younger self. She was new and deeply insecure, and you allowed her a moment where she could print out a blog post and yell “SEE? YOU’RE THE WRONG ONE!” at her poor, misguided mother. I think I may have even hung your response on our fridge.

/

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my sister not to name her daughter Chewbecca?

quote:

For my birthday last week, my uncle gave me a playstation gift card. I do play a lot of games, but i own a xbox lol. When he gave it to me i was too scared to say something, but i’ve also gotten gift cards to playstation before and i know there’s sites you can trade gift cards with, so i just shut up. Anyways so i traded my playstation gift card for a xbox one. I told my dad about it when he left and my dad thought it was funny that he got me playstation instead of xbox and said something like we’re just alike because he’s done that before.

What i ddint expect was for him to tell my uncle about this. My uncle called me and asked why i don’t tell him in the moment about it. i told him i didn’t want him to worry and the gift was still useful since i traded it, and i was still thankful for it. He got upset and said that was a really childish thing to do, especially because he could’ve used the gift card himself because he plays on playstation. I was kind of shocked he was upset and said sorry but then he asked if i could pay him back for it. The gift card was $100 and i told him i didn’t have $100 dollars to give to him. He got more upset and hung up. AITA

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not telling my uncle he got me the wrong gift card and trading it

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not telling my uncle he got me the wrong gift card and trading it

wheatpuppy posted:

I assume uncle was planning all along for the kid to say "oh I don't have a Playstation" and then take the card back?

Arsenic Lupin posted:

ITA for telling my son l was disappointed after he and his wife lied about my grandson's birthdate?

quote:

The party was actually requested and agreed upon by most of the family. and was dedicated for the newborn not the parents. Besides, that you could say that this is a tradition in the family. My sister threw welcoming parties for her 2 grandchildren and no one did what my son and his wife did. I agree that I should've let them decide but to lie and hide the date of birth? this is why I said I was disappointed. it is unfortunately no longer about the party.

quote:

There’s a twist to this: the tattoo is a large swastika made out of... phallic imagery.... The guy is in a rock band and so he thought it would be ironic if he got it, even though he is 100% white/gentile. She has never once claimed that this guy is racist or that he himself is a nazi, but really she doesn’t even have to in order to get his band kicked off of set lists. The photo makes him look so bad because he is looking into the camera, pulling his pants down to show the tattoo, all with a grin on his face, like “look how hilarious I am.” All she has to do is show the photo to a promoter and say this guy plays for so-and-so band and then he is immediately kicked off. Sorry for getting lengthy, but what do you think? How strong is this guy’s potential case in anyone’s opinion?

Edit: the state in question is California

commentor posted:

You can't be defamed by your own actions. Also, truth is a defense to defamation.

So if someone photoshops a fake tattoo and uses that to get them fired from venues/bands, that would be more like defamation.

But a picture of your actual body is not defamatory.

If you take an actual photograph and manipulate it so that it gives a false impression, some states in the US recognize an invasion of privacy tort called "false light". It's the truth, but truth presented in a confusing or manipulated way to imply something worse than it actually is.

The classic case is the mayor of the town walks past the adult bookstore every day on the way to the office, so a political rival sets up a camera in a way that makes it look like the major was caught leaving the adult bookstore.

A dickswastika is as bad as it actually is. A picture of it isn't going to be a false light issue.

Edit Swasdicka? I'm angry that it took me an extra two minutes to think of that.

quote:

the tattoo is a large swastika made out of... phallic imagery.... The guy is in a rock band and so he thought it would be ironic if he got it, even though he is 100% white/gentile.

quote:

I’m extremely pregnant. Like smuggling around a beachball pregnant. I had an awful appointment with my care team because we aren’t really seeing eye to eye on some things.

The hospital I’m supposed to give birth in is very busy so they want to schedule me for an induction so it will “move faster” but there isn’t really any evidence it will be faster (especially going by my first birth that was an induction and was AWFUL and was over 96 hours from induction to delivery and a lot of stress) and for this one I’m not interested in induction unless medically necessary.

They are upset with me for declining to schedule an induction date and after every appointment they send me to get a bunch of tests knowing usually one would need to go to three different locations to get each one so it’s about an extra three hours after every appointment.

Recently I found a midwifery practice that has all the facilities for most things and a lab right next door so the last two weeks I’ve been going there and just paying them out of pocket an extremely reasonable amount to do the doppler and VE and then going to the lab next door for blood work and urine stuff.

This midwifery practice also offers loss counselling and some kind of abortion support or counselling and is very transparent about being queer friendly which I think is awesome!

Anyways after my latest appointment I went there to get my tests and this older woman was blocking the door and started berating me for being an “abomination and baby killer.” I’m not going to lie I was already grumpy because I just wanted to be at home so I tried to just maneuver past her to get in. She got more in my way and I don’t have much balance so I was caught off guard and I knocked her a bit off balance (she didn’t fall) and then she started screaming about assault at the top of her lungs.

I told her to gently caress off and that I was there to try and keep my baby safe not abort it but her getting in my face and causing me so much stress and barring my access to care was more likely to make me miscarry than anything and she should be ashamed and I was blaming her if I lost my baby.

She got really quiet and stepped back a bit so I pushed past her and went to get my stuff done. When I came back out she was gone. I didn’t think much about it until I was telling my sister and she said as a religious person she thinks what I said was extremely out of line because the woman probably thinks she’s protecting people from going to hell and doesn’t understand the bad in what she is doing but I might have made her think she’s responsible for babies dying now and ruined her life. My mom said that she understands “I’m hormonal” and agrees the woman was in the wrong but says I really shouldn’t have spoken to her like that and especially says I shouldn’t have tried to push past her because it was assault. Am I the rear end in a top hat?